You're All Going To Miss Me When I'm Gone Or Maybe Not?
Preview
A/N: reason I haven’t posted imagines in so long is because no one reads them anymore so I feel like I’m a horrible writer and stuff. But anyways if you want to read more please feel to request.
Hi, I’m Kate Parker. I’m a 15 year old girl, and I attend Hollywood High School. I know many of you are wondering, “why am I going to waste my time reading this girls bullshit lies? When I have better things to do” or “Ughhh…another spoiled brat complaining how her life isn’t perfect because she didn’t get want she wants”. Aren’t I right? I’m honestly not looking for anything type of pity or attention. I know my life may seem perfect, you know that, PERFECT FAMILY, PERFECT SCHOOL, PERFECT EVERYTHING, type of thing. But would you have believed me if I were to say it’s not everything as it seems to be? Would you have believed me if I tell you my life is just horrible? If you were to look in my eyes and see that I’m broken inside would you even care? You want to know some secrets, do you know how many times I’ve been told that I’m a ugly fat hopeless attention whore? How many times people have hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally? How much I’ve starved myself just to lose weight and earn that thigh gap everyone wants? Do you know how much it hurt to know your so called “best friend” betray you with those that make your life a living hell? Or how much pain and suffering you get throughout the day at school, then come home to parents that beat you like you weren’t even their child? Do you want to know how many times I had wished I was dead? So many that I couldn’t use my fingers to count them out. Well I do, no one really understands me,
A|N: sorry if it sucks and that it's short. Please let me know what you guys think. Probably going to do a part 3 :)
-FLASHBACK-
The brown curls of my hair flowed down against my back. My brown eyes standing out more due to the smokey eye. Every curve showing off in the skin tight black dress with my black wedges. I decided to wear on this special day. My first date with Brandon. My palms began to sweat. I rubbed my hands on my dress and soon a knock was heard throughout the apartment. I hurriedly went downstairs and opened the door to reveal a handsome smiling Brandon.
"Y-Y...you look v-ve-very beautiful Y/N," he stuttered out. I felt the heat rise upon my cheats and smiled.
"Thank you," I said. "You look handsome as well." He smiled and interlocked out hands together. I clocked up the apartment and he lead my outside to his car. He started the egintion and drove off.
•Skip Car Ride•
We pulled up at a tiny fancy restaurant. Brandon got out and jogged over to my side.
"My lady," he said. I giggled and he lead me inside. A lady stood there and smiled at us as we entered.
"Hello," she said.
"Hello," Brandon said. "I made a reservation."
"Name"
"Brandon Hoover," he said. She skimmed down the list and smiled. She pulled out two menus and lead us to our seats.
"Your waiter will be right with you," she said and walked off.
"This is really beautiful Brandon"
"Just like you," he said.
"Very cheesy," I teased.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
I woke up and slowly sat up on the bed. I sighed. I looked to my left and the bed was neatly done. My heart ached just seeing that he's not here and this...this is real. He actually admitted to cheating on me. Tears streamed down my face and buried my face in my hands.
I hated Brandon for the pain he has caused me, but I'm still in love with him. I love him so much that it hurts me. He's my everything. We've been together for
21 years. Yea, I was with him since I was 18 and now I'm a 39 year old woman.
A soft knock caused me to snap out of my thoughts. I wiped away the remaining tears and let out a soft 'come in'. Alex opened the door and gave me a soft smile.
"Dinner is ready mom," he said.
"You guys cooked?"
"Yea," he said. I gave him an 'I don't believe you' kind of look and he laughed. "No we didn't. We...well Matt brought Chinese food."
I slowly got up from the bed and Alex came inside and held onto my hand as he guided me to the kitchen. When we arrived into the kitchen Matt had set up the table and smiled. He pulled out the chair as Alex lead me to the table.
"So mom," Alex said. "I was wondering if you wanted to watch some movies with us."
"Sure," I smiled at him. His smile widened at my response and began to eat.
"Mom," Matt began. "I know this isn't the right time. But, I'm extremely sorry. I didn't mean to get Sarah pregnant and causing you and dad to have an argument. I feel like all of this is my fault. It's my fault that you guys aruged, my fault that dad ran out and cheated. I'm truly sorry mom."
"It's not your fault honey," I said. "Your dad is just...he just doesn't think."
He shook his head. "But-"
"No butts, Matt. I don't blame you, your dad is the one who caused this problem not you okay." He nodded and we began to eat.
Brandon. Oh Brandon why would you do this? I loved you with all my heart and you had to go fuck it up. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel lost without him, but if I stay with him it's only going to cause me pain.
Oh my...thank you guys so much for the following! I'd just like to say some of the request you guys give me the majority of them get deleted. I know I'm not the best writer or anything like that but thank you so much. Just for that I'd like to write a personal imagine for all of you that want one. Thank you guys so freaking much! I love you all!
Baaaabe could I get an Elliott from blessthefall imagine!? Like you over hear the boys talking about you and one of the says something like you've gained abit of weight or something and he agrees with them and laughs with them but someone else stands up for you, much later he comes upstairs, you bring it up to him and you guys fight then make up but he's noticed you've start going to the gym and skipping meals and stuff and he's worried about you, so you talk/cry it out? Please love
A/N: May be slightly triggering
Being on Warped Tour with your brother, Elliot Gruenberg, and his band definitely had its perks; meeting all the different bands and such dedicated fans and hearing all their stories. There were no words to describe the amazing atmosphere and the feeling you got watching them perform and interact with fans.
But along with the perks, there were also the cons. Elliott had never mentioned you being his sister before on any social network and you had never mentioned him being your brother before, either; for the simple fact of you not being harassed by fans, and to lessen the chance of you getting hate from fans. But since you had recently turned 18 and as a present BlessTheFall had agreed for you to come on tour, Elliot decided to make you know, by mentioning you being his sister. This led to a few follows and tweets to you from fans, then a few people recognising you in public. At first it wasn’t bad, in fact you were rather enjoying the sudden fame. Unfortunately, as you started to become more known to the fans, you started to get hate. It started off as just the odd comment on your instagram photos, but then they started to get more frequent, and people started to tweet hate to you; you were getting hate on every one of your social network sites. You tried your hardest to ignore it but the comments started to get personal, you never had liked your weight and when people started telling you that you had gained heaps of weight and calling you a whale, it got to you majorly. Although you never told Elliott, or any for that matter, thinking that it would just stop eventually; but it didn’t.
You were laying in your bunk upstairs, scrolling through the hate you had received that morning on tumblr and twitter. Some of the comments were getting really personal:
“Poor Elliot, I feel sorry for him having to have such an ugly sister.”
“Y/N really needs to learn the word DIET it could help her”
They just kept going; to the point where they put you in tears. You slammed down your laptop and crawled out of your bunk. You had, had enough and decided to tell Elliott, even though you doubted there was anything he’d be able to do anything to stop it. Pulling on your sweats, you trudged to the steps. Taking in a deep breath to try and calm yourself, you went to step go down the steps but stopped in your tracks when you heard your name being mentioned by one of the guys downstairs. You sat down silently just out of their sight and listened in on their conversation.
“Y/N’s gained a bit of weight don’t you think?” you Eric heard say.
“Yeah it’s because she spends all her time in her bunk on her on fucking computer” Elliott agreed and continued to laugh with Eric and Jared.
Matt decided to join in “We should make her do our physical warm up with us, that should help her loose a few” that put everyone, except Beau, into a fit of laughter.
You heard Beau sigh “seriously you guys, she’s a healthy weight for her age and size, stop fucking dogging your own sister Elliott! What kind of brother are you? What if she heard you all saying this?” he let this sink in before he continued, “You never know, there could be a reason for her hiding away all the time”
Beau’s right you thought to yourself, you hid away because you didn’t want to face the world that was causing you so much pain, you didn’t want them to have to put up with your disgusting self.
Beau continued with a sigh “just watch what you say, all of you” with that he left the bus, leaving all the guys think about what he said.
“It was only a joke, Beau” you heard Elliott mutter, and then you heard someone yell from outside that they were on in 20 minutes.
You quickly got up and ran to your bunk and collapsed in a fit of tears. Hearing the boys say that was all you needed to hear to know that what people were saying was true. You were fat and disgusting.
Burying your head in your pillow, you didn’t even notice Elliott come upstairs and call your name, until he sat behind you and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you jump slightly and shuffle away from him.
“Y/N we go on in 20 minutes, you gonna come and watch us play? It’s our last show of Warped,” he asked softly.
You sniffled and tried to steady your voice so he couldn’t tell you were crying “N-No, I’m not feeling to well, have a g-good show though” you choked on your words. Stupid voice.
“Love why are you crying?” Worry lacing his voice, he gently rolled you over and brushed your hair out of his face, “Y/N what’s wrong?”
“I-I heard you call me fat...” you sobbed.
He laughed, “Really that’s why your crying? Seriously Y/N we were only joking around your not fat”
You sat up and glared at him slightly “It didn’t sound like a fucking joke Elliott, you all sounded pretty serious”
This caused him to snap and raise his voice “learn to take a fucking joke, I bet you didn’t even hear the full conversation! So what, we were joking around about your weight, we were bored!”
You started to cry again “Well I’m sorry that it sounded like you were being serious! You know how insecure I am about my weight and hearing my own brother calling me fat whether you meant it or not, doesn’t help!”
This caused him to snap out of it. All the anger drained from his face and he sat next to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest.
He sniffled “I’m so sorry Y/N, I forgot and didn’t think you would hear. I promise you, your not fat, I love you” he kissed the top of your head.
You wrapped your arms around his waist “I love you too”
He smiled down at you “Now are you going to come watch our last set?”
You giggled softly “I wouldn’t want to miss it”
2 months later
It had been 2 months since Warped had finished. You had moved out of Elliott’s house, and were living by yourself in a small apartment, a few blocks away from Elliott, since he wouldn’t allow you to move too far away.
Even though tour had stopped, the hate hadn’t. In fact it got even worse. It had gotten to you so much that you had started going to the gym at least two times a day, over exercising and regularly skipping meals. You were quite proud of yourself; you had gone from a size 14 to a size 8 (Australian sizing.) Although you were still a little bit disappointed because it seemed that no one had noticed your sudden change in weight. Well you thought no one had noticed.
Pulling on your tight gym shorts and crop top sports bra, you were getting ready to go out to the gym, for the third time today, even though you were shaking a little because you hadn’t eaten in two days. Just as you were lacing up your shoes, you heard your front door open. Looking up from your spot on the stairs, you saw Elliott, Beau, Eric, Matt, Jared, and Craig standing in the living room.
You weren’t expecting them over but it was a nice surprise “Hey guys, wasn’t expecting you around” You stood up, fixing your shorts.
Elliott motioned to the couch “Sit down, we have to talk” he looked serious and concerned.
You walked over to them and sat down on the single couch. The guys all gathered on the couch around you; Elliott sat on the coffee table in front of you with his hands on your knees.
“Y/N, we’ve all noticed your sudden drop in weight over the last 2 months” he said softly, looking you in the eyes.
Eric cleared his throat “we aren’t here to have a go at you, we are all just very concerned”
You stayed silent, fiddling your hands as you tried to avoid all eye contact.
Elliot cupped your face in his hands, making you look at him “Y/N, please look at me” you lifted your eyes to meet his, his eyes were full of sadness and concern; you could tell he was close to tears “Please tell me why you have lost so much weight?” he gulped back his tears.
That broke you. You brought your knees to your chest and broke down, “I’m sorry… I’ve just been getting so much hate on every single social networking sight of mine and my insecurities have gotten worse. It all got to me and I started to skip meals and exercise more… I haven’t eaten in a few days” he didn’t say anything but wrap his arms around your fragile frame and hug you tight. He started to cry as well.
After a while he pulled back and looked you dead in the eyes “Y/N Gruengerg, you are the most beautiful and amazing girl, and a prefect fucking sister. I love you so much, for how you are” He kisses your cheek and wiped your tears.
“I’m so sorry Elliott, I love you too”
He stood up, pulling you with him and the rest of the guys joined in, in a tight group hug.
“We all love you Y/N, your not only Elliott’s sister, but your ours as well” Beau stated.
“Your perfect the way you are, you don’t have to change for anyone” Matt said. “Especially not the jealous ass haters” Jared added, making everyone laugh softly.
“Thank you guys so much, really, I love you all” everyone pulled away from the hug.
“Now come on, lets go out to the Steak House and get some delicious steak into you” Elliott laughed.
“Sounds like an amazing idea” you agreed and got ready for dinner.
