#blothedpoems

[arivers610]

These are my final words. This is my final plea. Whatever you want doesn't matter because I don't need anything from you...not really. Your inconsistent silence is plenty enough. I'm so full of it that I can't seem to nourish myself with anything else. I won't go back to feeling that way again.

move on, push forward

[venussleepwalking]

do you understand now? did it set in? don’t come back. don’t even bother. it’s not going to happen. and knowing you - even if it was short lived - you’d try to crawl back into me. try to convince me you’re not like them. try to convince yourself. and i know they’re not all the same. you didn’t turn me cold; my heart still bleeds love - just not for you. maybe now you’ll see things differently. your clouds will soon dissipate and it’ll hit you: i left. i’m not coming back. what’s done is done. go play your games. go get your girls. but you’ll never have me. and although i blame myself for a lot of things, you’re the one that fucked up.

— what i would’ve said / barbara v lopez

[amandamateja]

Not a day passes

without you visiting my thoughts.

I cry less now,

but each day, at least,

a tear rolls down my cheek.

My heart is still broken,

and the emptiness is definitely still there.

I am going on with my life, though.

That is what you would have wanted,

but it's extremely hard as hell.

//Amanda Mateja

[soleanticipation]

Of everything you  see,

How much do you see.

How much fades into your reality, and stays to be another reminder of the times you loved, with all kind of struggles.

Not to start with the drugs Drew silence like bugs Went to discover our thoughts faithfull to gazing lights, sweeping our feet, because it all felt so right.

That is how time leaves. Along comes another, better,  or worse. A common curse?

SP

[venussleepwalking]

ask me why i care so much. you’ll never have an answer. i hoard ticket stubs and faded polaroids and all other scraps of memorabilia because i grasp on to thoughts. i replay them in my mind as if that’ll make them last longer. as if the people who use me as their doormat will somehow be different if i remember them a certain way. as if his words were true - so kind and compassionate they almost hurt instead of healed. i like to believe the world is full of good people. i know it is. but sometimes that notion is unclear: a murky pond with unknown contents with no end to its depth. sometimes i wish - i ache - to not care. to just let it all go and move on. but i don’t know how to just yet. 

–– barbara v lopez

[arivers610]

"Baby." I’m sorry is my name not sweet enough? Is it not soft enough? Did you call me baby because you knew at some point you would make me cry? Maybe I should call you babe because you’re a disgusting pig

oink oink

[venussleepwalking]

is it possible to feel homesick for somewhere you’ve never lived? how about for someone you’ve never met?

— face / barbara v lopez

[amandamateja]

7/15 /18

You were beautiful tonight,

as you always are.

A golden waxing crescent,

my moon smiled, and I glowed.

//Amanda Mateja