#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#batfamily#dc fanart
seen from United States
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Me: trying to get back to work
My bowels: hey girl heyyy
fun fact: if you work a government job the likelihood of you watching someone pee in a cup in very high, and having to pee in a cup yourself is actually unavoidable.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me: yeah I’m fine
But really: has had the shits 4 times today
This tiktok made my girlfriend and I die laughing
”One of the possible symptoms of Coronavirus is diarrhea”
People with IBS: Ha, that’s cute.
Maybe I'm built different but if I was a successful music artist I would wonder if at any point in time my song is gonna be like,,, either the background to someone's very wacky unfourtaune day or the background music to like someone crapping their brains out in a chili's restroom y'know??
my original spawn point moved out tolive with us for a while and the last few days as some of the wrinkles of having a new person move inget smoothed out I have had the wonderful experience of doing something with my mom that i never would have fathomed doing until it just started happening
OSP and i have this same little micro expression we picked up from my dad, and when things start going woogly-poogly she and i just will make it at one or the toher and at our earliest convenience we will step out of the action because, frankly Scarlett:
not my garden plot not my aphids
and reconvene on the back patio where we'll pass a bowl back and forth and say swears as quietly as possible until one of us breaks and laughs
just started out of nowhere like "fuck" "damnit" "shit" "but only a little shit" "a one tp square poop" "donkey balls" "ass hair" "ass hair of an ass"
anyway i almost killed my mom while she was taking a hit off her bowl and she tattled to my aunt about it and now my aunt's are calling me a bad kid because i should have at least waited untl she was done breathing in to say "Lord Farquaad's cum sock"
Signs you've been in a relationship forever: your girlfriend walks into the bathroom and yells, "PLEASE TRY NOT TO HEAR MY ASS."
