the worst thing about discovering more and more body problems that all went neglected over the years is that you start getting overcome by the insatiable urge to beat the heads in of people who did the neglecting with a brick
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the worst thing about discovering more and more body problems that all went neglected over the years is that you start getting overcome by the insatiable urge to beat the heads in of people who did the neglecting with a brick
in the same way that people mean "living from paycheck-to-paycheck" i can describe my personal experience with hypotonia as "living from lie down-to-lie down" like almost everything since i was a kid is undercut by "when is the next chance i'll get to lie down"
shoutout to other physically disabled people (esp. if you're also mentally disabled/ill) who are seen as not wanting to "help ourselves" because we can't make "simple" lifestyle changes,
who can't keep up with PT/OT on their own even if the exercises "just take 10 minutes" or generally can't keep up with regular exercise,
who aren't able to cut trigger foods out of our diets even if what they trigger is actively damaging our bodies/progressing certain things,
who use assistive devices, treatments, or aids that aren't technically "good for us" but they're all we have and we just want something, anything, to make our lives less miserable and aren't able to do much else
anything else where "just making this one change" would technically be beneficial but it's difficult to keep up with, or takes too much energy/takes executive function skills that we don't have, or conflicts w/ stuff in our lives that's not seen by others as important enough or significant (like sensory issues)
we're not "lazy" and we don't "just need to try harder," we're just not capable of "just doing" many of the same "simple" things that other people are, because we're disabled
i've said this in the tags of a different post but arguments about who gets to reclaim "cripple" and invisible vs. visible disability tell me that people very much seem to want the mystique of being a cripple (especially in a visible way) without the particular flavor of social isolation, abandonment, neglect, alienation, and dehumanization that comes with it, because actually living that way would quickly change people's minds
i should add more to that "living under the healthy abled gaze" essay like i'm sure a bonafide disability studies writer has written about this concept in a better way than me but i really need to hammer home the daily experience of "push your knees forward so you don't get worse, pull your shoulders so you don't get worse, pull your head in so you don't get worse, push your pelvis forward and stack your ribs or you'll get worse, sit up straight so you don't get worse" so on and so forth being this oppressive presence in your head at all times - not just being a result of ocd but a mottled mix of medical neglect, prevailing cultural healthism, things that healthcare providers have said/done to you, etc.
"kill the health coach in your head" or w/e
why isn't there much info about coathanger pain with POTS?? or at least why is this not more common knowledge? i don't think i've ever seen anyone talking about this. every time i've asked about it (+other POTS symptoms it comes with in my case) in chronic illness spaces people have suggested everything from fibro, MCAS, a CFS leak, a herniated disc, CCI, etc. but nobody ever said "coathanger pain."
but dysautonomia international posted a silly little graphic on their instagram and now i have my answers to why i was having a ton of symptoms that did suggest a herniated disc but there were no signs of disc herniation upon getting an MRI and for some reason it was triggered by working morning shift/having to be upright for a long time in the mornings. i would get excruciating, searing pain that feels pike a knife has been shoved into the base of my neck and the whole of my upper back would have this icy burning sensation. accompanied by me losing the ability to think straight, losing my coordination, and slurring my speech. i left work crying one morning because of how much pain i was in before i eventually came to the conclusion i couldn't do morning shifts.
that's coathanger pain. my spine is okay (i think...for now, anyway.) according to The Stuff they don't know what causes coathanger pain necessarily but they theorize it has to do with reduced blood flow to those areas of the body (which would track since POTS tends to involve blood pooling in the extremities and such.) it's also not exclusive to POTS and is associated with dysautonomia or orthostatic intolerance in general i think.
One example of the power of obtaining the autonomic history is the Coat Hanger Phenomenon. In people who have neurogenic orthostatic hypotension or orthostatic intolerance, they can complain of pain, or like a charley horse kind of sensation, in the back of the neck and shoulder areas in the distribution that’s like a coat hanger. And it goes away when the person is lying down. That’s an important symptom. And the way I explain it is that the muscles that control your head are tonically active, otherwise your head be falling down all the time. Tonically active. That means they’re using up oxygenated blood all the time. Well suppose you’re in a critical situation where there’s a drop in blood flow at the delivery of oxygenated blood to the head. In that situation these muscles are not getting enough oxygenated blood. They’re tonically active, so they’re producing lactic acid and you get a charley horse, just like you’d have a cramp anywhere else. It’s a skeletal muscle thing. So, I think when somebody complains of Coat Hanger Phenomenon, that’s a very important sign or symptom. And that is not invented. That’s a real phenomenon. It points to ischemia to the skeletal muscle holding your head up.
(Dr. Goldstein, The Dysautonomia Project)
worsening cognitive dysfunction, slurred speech, and worsening coordination because blood's not getting to my brain. bordering on emergency-room-level pain in my upper back and neck because not enough blood is getting to those parts of my body. got it.
anyway, i legit have NEVER seen this discussed until recently and i thought i should share.
PSA: if you feel something on the outside of your hip area moving w/ pain (especially in a "snappy" kinda way, or like something is sliding around) then it's possible that it's ITBS rather than something happening with your hip joint (of course this is best determined with the help of a healthcare professional), although it's most often associated with pain in the knee area (your ITB runs from your knee to your hip)
ITBS is usually an "athletic injury" but those of us gifted with unsupportive bodily mechanics can end up cursed with it anyway since having inadequate structural support, even when it comes to just doing "basic" activities, usually causes issues elsewhere; exacerbating factors include:
sitting a lot, especially including sitting cross-legged
hip/glute/core muscle weakness
flat feet, collapsing arches, pes cavus
foot supination & overpronation
leg-length difference
arthritis in the knees
leg joint malrotation (e.g. internal tibial torsion)
excessive foot strike force
genu varum ("bowlegs") and genu valgus ("knock knees")
shoutout to everyone else who just thought the outside of their hip area is unusually tender for no reason 🫡