disability blog. 20s. they/them. semi-crippled freakazoid. critical of psychiatry/the medical industrial complex. supportive of self-dx. white gentile/tme.
zionists read this. then get off my fucking blog. or die
• late 20s, they/them + neutral terms
• complex/multiple trauma survivor
• half-dx'd neuromuscular disorder affecting my spine, joints, motor skills, speech, throat, balance, overall endurance, posture, etc. + minor limb/facial/spinal differences + auDHD, cPTSD, POTS, etc.
• sighted & hearing
• PT/ambulatory mobility aid-user, but i spend the majority of my free time at home and in bed
• white + TME
i block all "whump" blogs that interact unless you wanna pay me for using my suffering and my body as inspiration for your fandom bullshit xoxo
support
etsy store - handmade art stuff
ko-fi - just a "tip" jar atm
more/disclaimers
more info
survivor of several forms of abuse from multiple people spanning across the first 23 years of my life, i am relatively paranoid and asocial as a result of this; also a psych survivor
currently incapable of materially supporting myself, can only work part-time, applying for SSDI
university student studying for a BFA; my "thesis" is on disability, sickness, and the body as perceived by both society, the self, and the medical system
"alterhuman," living doll, etc. and various other things but i don't really wanna talk about it and i don't even like typing it out here honestly
things to know
i compulsively worry about my health and release that on this blog, the medical neglect is part of that as i'm having to play catch up, sorry
i'm a real-life person, not inspiration for fandom or original fiction (certainly not for free) unless i explicitly state otherwise
confusingly dissociative, obligatory not "anti-endo" but complex dissociative disorders =/= plurality and online CDD spaces mostly suck
nonverbal & nonspeaking aren't terms for autistic people who can speak most of the time but have temporary episodes of speech loss
physical & mental disability aren't the same thing because of body-mind dualism but because they are separate (albeit overlapping) sociocultural constructs with different histories, etc., "mental illnesses are brain diseases" or any variation has never been a radical statement (yes this also means means you're not one of the cripples for having ADHD)
Biannual reminder that Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) / Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Neonatal Opioid Withdrawal Syndrome / Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS) are not acceptable jokes or insults for people you don't like.
We don't exist to be demonized, belittled, or mocked. People with these issues exist in every space you're a part of. Some don't even know it. Some do and hear you say the things you do and they will not forget you.
making sure BC stuff stays consistent for me is. not working very well. so i have cold sores almost every week now and the pinched nerve in my left leg and yeah. very fun. added reason to keep wearing mask at work i guess
Tiphanee Lee says she placed a recording device in her 7-year-old’s locs after growing concerned about how the nonverbal autistic
Lee said Semaj, who has severe nonverbal autism, had been getting in trouble at school for behavior she believed was out of character. After she said the school denied her request to sit in class and observe him, Lee hid a camera in her son’s thick dreadlocks to better understand what was happening during the school day.
According to Lee, the recording appears to capture an assistant teacher yelling aggressively at Semaj and possibly shoving or striking him. WLKY reported that because the camera was hidden, the video does not clearly show the interaction. However, audio from the recording reportedly captured the staff member yelling, and Semaj can be heard screaming near the end of the recording.
For Black parents, especially those raising children with disabilities, the story hits a familiar and painful nerve: the fear that when something goes wrong in a classroom, their child may not be believed, protected, or fully understood.
i'm debating getting an Ausair mask actually because working more means me wearing a mask more means my ears hurting really bad so i have to take it off because i can't bear it and something like that might be more tolerable, also might be able to wear my glasses with it
once my grad check clears i'm gonna take a leap and get the Lumia 2, even if it comes with a crappy subscription thing, because it's the only tracker that could tell me if not enough blood is getting to my brain (or whatever they would call it), it comes with 6 months free or so and they work with scientists and all that so it's scummy to charge a subscription but i also really, really wanna try it, and i'm pretty sure they do returns if you don't like it; the Apple watch only does hypertension and HR, the former which isn't relevant to my situation since i have the opposite
i need to dig around for my previous FitBit though, 'cause only the strap broke last that i checked, i hope something didn't happen to it 😖
my bf is feeling distant from his friends and i'm worried that's deliberate i really fucking hope it's not he already got driven out of there unfairly with no support he doesn't deserve alienation on top of that
i know POTS isn't traditionally considered a pain condition but i honestly find that aspect of it to be under-discussed since that's basically been one of the defining experiences of it for me; are coathanger pain and pain from blood pooling in your feet not that common or do people just...not talk about it?
at this point i'm pretty sure the shooting femoral nerve pain i get from walking around PMS time is in fact uterine-related but i dunno whether it's something like a fibroid or the fact he said it's tilted weirdly
however it works, the tilting did make my gyn think i had a cyst on my left side (the side where i get the pain the most often, as well as some random sharper pains near the groin area)
also not sure what difference it would make since i think the answer would still me hormone therapy
think i'm having EBV reactivation again because (1) weirdly cold (2) very sleepy (3) weird stomach feeling (4) overall vaguely feeling icky, like last time #myvirus
the abbreviation "CP" is commonly used to refer to cerebral palsy in multiple contexts and it's not funny or cute to take the words of people with cerebral palsy referring to their own condition and being like "ummm you shouldn't say that because that's also an acronym for something else," use context clues/ask for clarification or suffer
It really does say a lot about how romanticized and theatricized alters are online when people go into denial or feel isolated for displaying the most textbook DID/OSDD symptoms.
Not knowing who's fronting, not knowing how many alters you have, not knowing when you switch, not knowing alters' names or why they formed, alters not having names, having no internal world or a very vague one, having no internal communication, struggling with external communication, experiencing alters as different overlapping states of self instead of separate people, hell even just experiencing amnesia.
These are all extremely common symptoms of DID/OSDD, especially when you're untreated or early in treatment. And yet they're all common reasons for why people feel like they don't belong in this community, because the reality of this disorder somehow doesn't conform to the online expectation.
How bad is the state of CDD awareness, even among those who proclaim to have it, that the most common manifestations of DID/OSDD are so underdiscussed that the majority of people with these conditions cannot find understanding even in a community meant for their disorder? When anything that doesn't play into the "alters are separate people and friends in your head" narrative is ignored and erased?
yesterday my body rly hated me for whatever reason lol toward the end of my shift which was normal and not too straining a muscle(?) near my SI joint started hurting rly fucking bad especially when hinging forward or walking or whatever and then when i got home i got sharp pain in my wrist like it was sprained and then sharp pain in a hip muscle in my other leg like, hello. what
