Meg: 30 Day Weightloss Challenge
Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
I think the last time I binged was in the 2nd week of January. I was doing really well after the holidays and then I had a very long weekend and then snowmageddon happened, and I was basically just stuck inside and felt particularly grumpy, and figured a little chocolate wasn't going to kill me.
Except I ate a lot of chocolate, because I was tired of having it sitting around the house and taunting me, and instead of being rational and you know, asking my dad to move the chocolate to a more discreet location than the kitchen counter, I just ate like...half of it.
That's the thing about the food at my house - I live with the rest of my family, and three of us are actively trying to lose weight, so we tend to try to buy foods that are going to be really good for us. My dad is in great shape (he has to be for his military service) and brings home the big bulk bags of peanut butter cups from Costco and big tubs of salted caramel. Then, when the ladies of the house who are attempting to be healthy grab a few pieces of candy, he raises his eyebrows in a "once on the lips, forever on the hips" kind of way and usually makes some kind of comment to that effect. He's put us into a situation where we have to constantly fight the urge to eat our emotions (something he's admitted that he's never done) and when we do allow ourselves a treat, he shames us for it. Every time.
Especially since, as a woman, I am constantly having my body critiqued by other people, it really REALLY pisses me off that I have to get body shaming from my dad, too. I think for a long time, being fat was an act of rebellion for me because I wanted to prove that his disapproval didn't mean anything to me. And really, in terms of the way I'm going to choose to live my life, it doesn't. But I didn't need to gorge myself on chocolate to prove that. A conversation would have been more constructive.
I'm currently working 10 hours a day, 4 days a week at an emotionally demanding job. I don't sleep well, I go to bed later than I intend to, and I wake up at 5 or 5:30 every day to go to the gym before work. On Fridays, if I'm awake before noon it isn't by choice. I spend Friday recovering from my work week. And sometimes, it's all too easy to say "I had a rough day, so I'm going to reward myself with this brownie."
So instead, I reward myself with other things. I'll buy a new book for my Kindle, or buy a magazine, or watch my favorite fitspo (Blue Crush) instead. I still slip up. Everyone does. But having another reward for myself instead of food definitely makes it easier to find an alternative. I don't think that allowing yourself a treat every now and then is a bad thing. I could never give up dessert altogether. But moderation is important, and if you're having dessert every night it kind of takes the "reward" out of it. Also, if I have dessert in the house, I'm more likely to binge on it. It's better for me to just not keep it around.
