God, I only read a little over 100 pages of The Vampire Lestat, and Lestat cried so much about everything, everything that happened to him, to his mother, even about the witches who were burned many, many years ago before he was born, even about Magnus who burned himself and left him alone.
He cares so deeply about everything, about being good, about making people happy and lifting them out of sorrow.
And I think about the Lestat Louis saw.
Impenetrable face, cold, arrogant, cruel, he laughs when he's hurt.
Perfect and strong.
Facade.
And again, Lestat in the third season (don’t know what the book!Lestat is like yet) where he tells the story himself: every emotion, pain, and experience is written all over his face again. He has a panic attack, he's vulnerable, he's scared, he cries, he fails over and over, he is stuck, pathetic, he tries hard to gain love and no one cares.
When he is in pain - he is in pain and you see it.
And I wonder.
Is this what's going on inside him? Can't people see it? Is he aware of his pain and confused why no one else cares? Did his actions toward Louie feel completely fair to him because he was sure Louie was being cruel to him intentionally because he thought his pain was obvious?
While really he couldn’t open up at all?
While no one actually saw that?
