Responding to this: https://www.tumblr.com/proship-confessional/822072443575402496/i-keep-rewatching-shows-i-saw-for-the-first-time
Less about ships but no longer being bound by anti-hood allowed me to enjoy/see subtext in works I liked without feeling guilty about it.
Maybe the Weird Route of Deltarune has CSA and CoCSA subtext that the player is complacent in in story but is also fine to enjoy because its fiction and to ignore the subtext is to ignore parts of the story because it makes you uncomfortable.
TBH a lot of this is SA related because I enjoy a lot of horror that ties into bodily autonomy denied and that goes with SA metaphors/subtext like butter melts into warm toast.
(Also lets me enjoy subtext I unintentionally put into my work as exploring something in fiction is perfectly fine and morally neutral)
Thank you for your advice for my last ask, that’s probably a really important thing I should be considering in terms of friendship,
And update!
she apologized. I said sorry too because I felt pressured into making things normal again, but… I still feel really hurt and miserable when I spend time with her now. I feel like all this accomplished was a wicked anxiety-induced stomach ache and a resurgence in intrusive thoughts (since I hate being angry, so I get angry at myself which makes all my intrusive thoughts about relapsing and stuff). I don’t think being a really close friend with someone who, does indeed try their best, but, doesn’t meet my needs most of the time is healthy for either of us… but I also don’t want to cut her off because then things would just get worse again
I also really don’t like how, the moment something goes wrong, my every waking moment is spent replaying it over and over in my head, and how one persons opinion of me can make my mental health deteriorate exponentially… so I think that’s a sign i should spend more time with myself and try and build an idea of who I am outside of school and outside of other people
But also… good news in terms of socializing! There’s a museum party with live music afterschool on Thursday, and since I’m usually able to finish all my homework due Friday on Wednesday (and if needed, study hall on Thursday), homework isn’t gonna be an issue! :D I’m gonna try and see if I can make friends or meet cool people there, and even if I can’t, it’ll still be super fun
Sooo yeah! Thank you for reading. You’re a rockstar
And bye bye!
-midnights anon
Hi!
Okay so I think the thing is, you can work on building your confidence and figuring out who you are and breaking away from needing validation from others without isolating yourself. Like some of what you said made me worried that you were going to self-isolate and that's not a good idea, either! i think reflection is what's important, you know? And, as you've seen, picking the right friends and the right people to value as far as opinions is also important. (Like for this friend...it sounds like taking her opinion and actions with a grain of salt is an important thing to do in the future)
I'm proud of you for going to the museum party, that sounds so cool! I'm jealous, you'll have to tell me how it goes!
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toilet emoji anon
hi so me again uh. yea I think I’m in a better place but lately I’ve been feeling like it’s creeping up on me again and o don’t know what to do against it
Hi! I'm so sorry you're feeling like that. In my experience, I think talking about it helps SO much. Do you have a therapist, a trusted adult, or a close friend that you could talk to? Even writing about it makes SUCH a difference. It's bottling it up that makes it so much worse, you know?
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bottle anon
hii! Bottle anon back. Rick and Alex are together! (Have been since may). They're so cute together. I also managed to get a partner of my own, this girl I've been crushing on for a while. (Coming up on 3 months too) It's a long story so I'll just leave it at that.
Anyway, I may have entered a poly relationship. Kinda. Sorta. Idk.
My girlfriend, who I'll call Eva for the sake of privacy, has this best friend, Isla (also not her real name. They're both on tumblr so yk, cautious). So Eva and Isla have been friends for a while and me and Isla got to know each other through Eva. Except we call Isla our 'honorary girlfriend'. That basically means a few things.
My girlfriend gets first dibs on cuddles but Isla get second dibs (same with me cuddling Eva, Isla gets second dibs)
I get comforted by 2 'girlfriends' instead of 1. (Again, works in a triangle. We all do that with each other.)
We can all say we have 2 girlfriends, including Isla despite being single.
And there's more but it's 2am where I live and I can't be fucked to list them all.
But I have no problem with this, and neither does Eva and Isla. I'm just a little confused, you know? I wouldn't mind being poly but also this is a fun friendship/romantic dynamic and idk of the others have ever had poly thoughts.
Bottle anon.
Hi!
Okay so I am not poly myself but from what I have learned from friends who are poly, the most important this is clear communication. Poly relationships can be tricky to navigate because with more people comes more of a chance of miscommunication and hurt feelings, you know? And it sounds like you guys have already got a good start at this...like you have some rules. But I think if this is something you're interested in, you need to clearly communicate that, first with Eva, then (if Eva agrees) with Isla. And together, the three of you need to work out rules and boundaries. As scary as direct communication is, it shows respect, you know? So you need to start by talking with Eva and asking her: how does she actually feel about this?
Good luck! <3
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@leo-crumbled
It shouldn't matter as much as it does when I get deadnamed because I still dress fem and girly but on the days I try to pass I get deadnamed and called a girl and in my marching uniform which makes me look like a genuine boy I get called a girl and I can't do it. It has never mattered this much but now all of a sudden all I can think about is how I don't pass well enough and my chest isn't flat enough and it doesn't help that I can't wear my binder, I'm not supposed to right now because I had a really bad allergic reaction to adhesive on my back and chest so its all blistered and bloody, but it shouldn't matter this much. I've gone years and been fine but all of a sudden I can't and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it anymore.
Hi <3 No matter how you look, what you wear, how much you 'pass' or not (and remember, it's society that even expects us to 'pass,' you don't NEED to do that) ...you're allowed to be upset about it. It MATTERS.
ESPECIALLY if you have told someone your name and your pronouns? Yeah, there's a slight learning curve, but really there's no excuse. People should be respecting your name and pronouns, the end.
I am so sorry that you're feeling this way. You deserve to be respected.
of course! here they are : ) at first 6 guys came close, i gave them some of my food. later on, 3 other cats approached, but i havent nicknamed those.. if i see them again next time ill give them a nickname!
this group seems to live in this old train car, so i expect to see most of them around again on thursday. i also gave them some simple nicknames ! eheh.
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cats roam free on the art uni complex. there's a lot of groups i think. but this one lives near my classroom. They get food occasionally on big bowls (cheap kibble) and water.
I'd classify them as feral though. They dont like being approached at all, and are very jumpy to the slightest sound. They live in a group as you can see. And their coats are perfectly clean and fluffy
For example, i saw another cat in another section of the complex, quite far from here. He was more like a stray cat. Very friendly, let me pet him, purred and meowed a lot at me.
These guys barely say anything, definetely dont want to be touched!
Im very happy that they let me sit down next to them, and they relaxed a bit even after i didnt have any more food for them. (in the first pic thats my leg haha. they did come quite close and plopped down. no touching though!)
.
do you guys have suggestions for names for the whole clowder?
here are the nicknames i gave them!
solecito, the scruffiest tabby seems to have some sort of jaw/tounge problem. he cant put his tounge in so his mouth is always open, and he seems to cough sometimes. He has difficulty grabbing and eating food. But i confirmed that he can , in fact eat! He takes quite a bit more of time to do so, but he can manage! Im glad. Everyone else, otherwise, seem to be pretty healthy. All of them can move well.
I have a crush who would SUCKKKKKK at being a caregiver. But ohh fuck oh god I need to turn him into one so bad. He's shitty and rude and doesn't give a fuck about anyone or anything other than himself and getting his dick wet, but the desire to turn him into an at least competent caregiver is fucking CRAZY!!!!!! RAHHHHH I KIND OF NEED HIM???? His cock would suck but I don't care. His caretaking would be awful but I don't give a fuck. He's stupid and I need him
Grabs my blankie and crawls into your lap, nuzzling your chest gently Hi Daddy 'm jus claiming my spot ♡♡ - 🍼
This is your spot little one. My sweet baby. This is where you belong. I kiss the top of your head, nuzzling into your hair as my arms wrap tightly around you. I love you so much baby girl.
