*grabs a megaphone*
hikaru's self hatred and existence as an entity can be a parallel to a personality disorder. borderline personality disorder to be specific, or generally cluster b traits mixed together. (especially also aspd)
he has replaced his old self. he has all of the old memories, but they were lived by someone else. he cannot connect to humans on an emotional level. he doesn't understand foundational things, like the value others place on life, and it alienates him from humanity. he doesn't understand why its bad to hurt other people. he lacks empathy, and has to be taught to control himself using different frameworks. he goes through periods of intense self hatred, and then the next day he's seemingly fine. he feels like his emotions are not the same as those of human beings. he lacks a concrete sense of identity. he feels like if he just disappeared, everyone would be able to move on and everything would get better. he clearly has a favourite person (yoshiki) whom he places above everything else and who's opinion matters most in the entire world. when he experiences too elevated of an emotional state, he LITERALLY lashes outwards and it hurts those around him, and then he deeply regrets it afterwards. but even his regret is self motivated, stemming from a desire to not be hated.
This Bitch Has BPD
