#breakingthenews

[snooszer]

this picture is so funny to me im going ballistic

[simpositious]

“Caleb Vatore is your ACTUAL DAD?! This is AWESOME! You know he’s a vampire, right?”

[darthbobo]

Time to take these two to norms!! #sharingmoments #breakingthenews (at NORMS Restaurants)

[tobelesbianlyhonest]

The best feeling is when you thought your parents would be extremely judgemental and upset with something personal, but they end up being supportive.

[anonymouslypoz-blog]

The Revelation

On my third day of being reactive, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had the urge to tell my family and my other best friends, I could not bare the fact that I’d be living a lie. I couldn’t possibly do this on my own. It felt very heavy inside. Thats when I decided to my siblings. 

It was so difficult to talk to them as I would always breakdown when I spoke to them. I didn’t have the guts or face to meet them I was ashamed of myself at that time so I broke the news via mobile. 

I had to sit down because I was starting feel Nauseated as I havent eaten a meal since I got diagnosed. Over the phone, I called my sister first then my brother. I was surprised that they were braver than I was, they both assured me that I could live a healthy life with the modern medicines and that I would live a normal life. But, no. I will never be normal again. That same day when I went out to try and feed myself, everytime I see a person, I’d think of how lucky that person was. I envied how they could live a normal and happy life. Maybe I can too and maybe because I’m still at a very early stage. 

A couple of days later, I then had the guts to meet my siblings, I drove to my brothers apartment in the central business district of Manila, the traffic was horrible, and I was starting to get some appetite so I decided to get some take out. 

When I got into the apartment, my siblings were there and my brothers wife, they did not make me feel different, they acted normal as possible, offering help, offering to introduce me to other people who has the same to see how they are in life. At a certain point of that night, we started to crack jokes, smiles were around the room but I’d still sometimes get hit and just breakdown. Maybe because I have not accepted it yet. After dinner, I had to leave to meet my other 2 best friends in the same city, we said our goodbyes and we hugged and I went on ahead to meet my other best friends.

Now, these two are in for a treat! I asked to meet them after dinner and usually, after dinner means drinks! I asked to meet them in a quiet place first, I told them I had to tell them something before we head out and hunt. 

I went straight to Alice’ house which is in the city as Anastasia usually takes more than a couple of hours to prepare herself. 

That moment when I met up with Alice, I had my self composed, feeling confident that I would break down as I’ve been crying and weeping for the past few days, we then started to drive to the courtyard just outside the village where we were meeting Anastasia, she insisted that I tell her the news already without Anastasia but I waited, we played a guessing game on what my news were and she guessing all the random stuff like if I was already getting married, moving to a different country and all. After ordering my tacos and soup, I stepped out for a smoke. 

Then this woman who knows how to make entrance comes up from the stairs all dressed with hair and make up done walks up to me so confidently and goes “So, ano na?! Tell me na!” we proceeded to the table and they both were asking me already to break the news. 

I told them, you might just not be able to eat if I tell you now, better to eat first and then I break the news. But they insisted, I give them a speech on how it has been the most difficult few days for me, thats when they both start to have a hint on where I was going, when I saw their faces starting to get red, I drop the news with my nervous tone, trying to keep my composure as we were in a public place. But that didn’t happen, we all broke down in tears, the first thing they said were “We will get through this” “Were here for you” “We love you”. 

Hearing those words again from a none family member always breaks me, how can I be so lucky to be surrounded by kind people? I must be doing something right! You, know after breaking the news to these girls, I was surprised to see them eat more than I did! 

That same night, my plan was to head home and not have a drink, but of course, the bad boy in me won and decided to go to and have “one drink”. 

During the course of the night while having a pint of beer and tequila shots in between, another close friend of mine from the US calls in asking if we were out, I had the urge to tell him, since he was one of the guys that I usually hang with, he could keep a secret, he could protect me from whatever thing that could happen in the future, his name Steph. 

Steph comes, and to be honest, I did not know how to tell him, for all you imaginary readers to know, I don’t have friends like me. Don’t be judgemental, I dont know why. It was hard for me to tell him because I looked up to the guy but I knew he’d be the most understanding from the whole barkada with of course the push of Alice. 

I was right, when i broke the news to him, he was all out support, and to be honest, he’s the sweetest gentle giant in the world. With these 3 people with me on the table, I felt the love and care and I never felt before from the them, I finally felt that they were truly there to support and help me no matter what. 

The next day, another best friend of mine calls me, his name is Preston, now, this guy… This guy, I told my self, I wouldnt tell him as I know he’s the most insensitive person I know in the WORLD. I knew that the moment I tell him, he’d be stepping on my dignity. A little background on this guy is he’s my travel buddy, we travel A LOT together. From the youthful days in Fuego to Thailand, Singapore, US, South America, Europe, to Australia. 

But we had a chat on the phone, and Preston insisted that we meet up and catch up before I left the city again for work, we decided to meet somewhere in Makati again. We started with a bottle of wine and the conversations ranged from new business ventures to our random beach trips when we were still young, I felt sorry for him and my self. I couldnt face the fact that we were planning our new trips for the 3rd and 4th quarter of the year with a lie. 

I asked him to shut up as he talks a lot… Without hesitation, I told him the news. It was my first time to see him that serious. I didnt know if he was pissed, mad, or wanted to leave. (I sure hope he didnt as we ordered a 200usd bottle of wine) lol 

When he started to talk again, the words that came out of his mouth were the same with all my other best friends, “We will get through this” “Were here for you” “We love you”. After a few more drinks, thats when I started to smile again, I felt like I had nothing to hide from them and it was amazing. 

[howimetmybaby-blog]

How I told your grandma from your dad's side

Well baby, we had a hard time or perhaps like a dilemma on whether we wanted to tell your grandma on your dad's side or not. We knew her personality quite well, she kind of like to share some personal stuffs to others. For example, she can one day come up to us and say: 

"H (your dad), I'm going to tell you something but make sure you dont spread it around. Did you know that so and so did this..........." and it will go on and on... This usually happens in the car when she was just driving us home from Jurong and your dad and I will giggle at the back at how funny she can be - she can't really keep a secret if its not hers. 

I am someone who always believe in fairness because I hate to be treated unfairly, so I always try to be fair to my family, friends or colleagues. I try not to treat anyone specially unless, if I really think it will bring some kind or benefit or advantage. Anyway, as I have already told my mum about you right after the doctor's visit, we were still contemplating if we wanted to tell your other grandma as we really did not want the news to spread around too fast. And we were considering the best time to tell her was perhaps, on Sunday, where we have planned a trip to go to Adventure Cove for swimming with your dad's family. 

So we went to meet your dad's family on Sunday morning, 23rd Feb, at Harbourfront hawker center for breakfast and at that time, I obviously couldnt eat much, so we shared a bowl of lontong. Afterwhich i just took out my folic acid to eat. I kinda forgot that your father's elder sis, your aunt, is a nurse so she will know/suspect that im pregnant when I ate it in front of her. Haiz. Silly me. Sorry about that baby. So we ate then walked to Vivo to catch the train. While on the way there, we stopped awhile as your grandma has to go the the restroom. So we hung around at BATA and I was looking after one of your twin cousin. She was looking at some baby shoes and said to your aunt "Mama, boleh belikan kasut untuk baby Mak Su!" and your aunt quickly shushed her. That was when I realised your other aunt was pregnant. 

So, when I found out your younger aunt was pregnant, I had to double confirm with your cousin and she was like "Yes, she is going to have a baby in October". I was like - O-M-G. LOLSSS. Seriously, what a coincidence. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to feel at that moment. To laugh at the coincidence or to feel disappointed because it seems like you are not going to be so special anymore to your dad's family's eyes because, again the attention was taken away from you... But I decided to feel happy for your aunt, because, hey, any news of a baby is good news. It is a gift from God, and I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to your dad's family anyway, I wanted them to be happy because happiness is something that can never be bought. So I had to tell your dad the good news but told him let's respect and wait for his mum to tell us instead. 

So, the whole day at Adventure Cove I watched your dad and his family play while I just lay on the sunbed resting because I was too tired to even move. I had to keep telling you to be patient even though I was too hungry and I didn't really have any appetite to eat nuggets or hotdogs that your grandma brought as I remember they should be eaten hot only. So waiting for your grandma to break the news seemed like it was never going to happen. 

We went back to your grandma's place in Jurong because she asked us to drop by so we agreed. Again, no news from her. Until your grandma and grandad was sending us home, they dropped by at Boon Lay to buy some stuffs. Your dad and I were in the car and we were planning how to break the news to her. 

We came up with many different scenarios - e.g. ask about his sister's jobs, ask about why his sister was sick to bring up the topic and I told your dad to bring it up, but seriously, your dad doesn't have big enough balls. I was the one who had to initiate the conversations. We even sat at the coffee shop but your grandma didn't spill out anything. 

I was a bit nauseous after eating but tried to contain it because I didn't want your grandma to suspect anything yet. So back in the car, again, I had to try to make small talk to lead to the topic to no avail while at the back your dad and I kept elbowing and sniggering how your dad has no balls. LOL. 

There was one time we thought your grandma's wall was going to break, when she asked me when I was going to graduate. Because that topic ALWAYS ends up with her mentioning about "ok you can have kids after school its better' to maybe make herself feel better? LOL. Well, I always think that way because seriously, I didn't like people asking me 'when is your turn to have a baby?' Like, mind your own business, please? But nooo she still didn't mention anything abt your younger aunt. LOL. 

So, I quietly signal to your dad that his balls should just be crushed and I just slowly broke the news to your grandma. I just mentioned that our house would be ready by end of the year. And that a lot of money needs to be used. We need to think about a house and I really wanted your dad to get a driving license so that he can drive a car if we were to have a baby. And let your grandma nag at your dad while i was still signalling his balls should be crushed cos he had no guts. LOL. So I told her, we really need to save alot of money this year, because hopefully by October, we will be having a baby. 

We could tell she was trying to digest the information with her hesitation. She was like.. Oh that's great....... *pauses for 5 seconds*... turns to your grandad, "Oh, we're going to have TWO more grandchildren this year!". 

And then, that was when the dam burst. Everything came out. About your dad's younger sis being pregnant, how she fell ill, which hospital she went, when he EDD is going to be, who else she told. I kept reiterating to her I didn't want ANYBODY to know about it, even your dad's grandparents because we wanted to break the news ourselves. She also told me how earlier today your elder aunt told her she might be getting two grandchildren instead because she saw me eating the folic acid but she didn't think so because it doesn't look like I'm pregnant. 

She even told us how she was concerned I wasn't getting pregnant for almost a year because she was afraid your dad was sterile like his uncle and granduncle due to family history and I told her it was because we just wanted to go to Europe first and travel before conceiving. She was also saying how our travel plans to go Japan had to be cancelled because of the baby and I explained why I decided not to go because of the transit times and not because I was pregnant.

When we reached home, she got out of the car and gave me a hug to say she was very happy and that I should look after myself and be more careful. I can tell she was really relieved that her son can perform and have a child. LOL. I reminded her again not to tell anyone (yes I'm paranoid) and she said ok. 

So, when we reached home, your dad and I had a laugh at how your dad should not have balls because he really couldn't and didn't dare to ask his mum questions or even break the news. We also agreed that it was perhaps ok to tell his mum abt it because if she could stay tight lipped about his sister's pregnancy, perhaps she could do the same for ours. This is why I love your dad so much, because of the chemistry we have. We can laugh at the silliest things. :)

So, baby, that was how we spilled the beans to your grandma & grandad from your dad's side. Also, this is a reminder to you, to know that even though you may not be the only one born this year, and you have another cousin who will get the attention away from you, you are still precious and very special to me and your dad. It doesn't matter if you don't get any attention from anyone, because, what is important is that the people that matters love you and treats you special. Also, always be happy for other's happiness, because that is the only way for you to be happy with yourself. And always be thankful for what you have, and be happy for what others have, because each of us will have different blessings from God. Your dad and I will try our best to give you the best we can, because you are special to us, always. 

Good night baby. Time to tuck in. <3

[ridingthewaveofbabies-blog-blog]

Breaking the News

It's generally accepted that if a pregnancy progresses beyond the 12 week mark, it is a good indication that the baby will be carried successfully and will make it too birth.* That said, if you successfully complete your first trimester, it is fairly safe to start telling people your happy news. That is not to say that if you tell people before the 12 week mark things will go wrong, or that if you wait you won't have a miscarriage, it's just the general rule of thumb.

As excited as we were, my husband and I were careful to keep the secret until I was into my second trimester because we did not want to have to deal with the pain of going through a miscarriage and having to tell a bunch of people about it.** We made a few exceptions though. We told my sisters because I pretty much tell them everything, the moment stuff happens.*** And we told a couple of our closest friends. I also told two of my friends at work because someone needed to know why I was grouchy and extra drowsy in the mornings.

Having a couple people know made it that much easier to keep the secret. That way, if I needed to talk about baby stuff or how I was feeling, I had an outlet. It was tough not to tell my parents, but I knew it would be extremely hard for my mom to keep it quiet, so we waited.

When it was time to break the news, we had a little fun with it. We bought my Mother-in-Law a book for her birthday and inscribed the inside "To Grandma from Baby". It took her a second to realize what we meant, but she was quite pleased in the end. For my parents, we waited until Thanksgiving and hosted a family meal. My Dad's birthday happened to fall on the same weekend, so we gave him a #1 Grandpa picture frame for a gift. My Mom was confused when he started congratulating us, and then exclaimed "You're pregnant! What!?! I didn't even know!" The best reaction might have been from my Grandmother though. She was also at the family dinner and, amidst all the hugging and kissing, exclaimed "well, it's anyone going to congratulate me on becoming a Great-Grandmother!" with tears in her eyes.

Once our families had been told, it was time to break the news to our friends. We decided to throw a Halloween party and invite as many people as our house could hold. My husband dressed up like a chef and I was a "bun in the oven". It went over well with our guests, though some took longer than others to figure out what the costumes meant.

Although it felt great to have the news out in the open with the people we cared about most, it still made me nervous that something was suddenly going to go wrong. I tried to focus on the fact that things had been progressing really well, but as it turned out I would worry for my entire pregnancy. And then, once he was born, I would stop worrying about the pregnancy going wrong and start worrying that I was going accidentally lose or harm him in some way. Motherhood, it's a hard thing to do.

Having people know about the baby also forced us to recognize that in only a few short months (they actually feel like super long months), we were going to be parents and really needed to get it together. Letting the cat out of the bag, so to speak, was the catalyst we needed to start picking names and setting up the nursery, to go to Toys 'R Us and register for shower gifts, and to start taking our prenatal courses. Until then we could get away with not preparing because if we did, it would look suspicious.**** It was the fire under our proverbial bums.

If you are waiting to break the news, don't rush it. Think of a fun way to do it that will make it even more special and memorable. You only get that moment once, treasure it and share it with your loved ones.

xo Mama

* The first trimester is when most of the major "building" of the baby occurs. This is the period when all of the organs and parts of the baby begin to form, along with it's major systems. After the first trimester, the baby continues to grow and develop more detailed features such as finger nails and teeth, but by the end of the 12th week all of the most important development has taken place. Therefore, if the fetus survives beyond the 12th week, there is a good chance that your body is growing a healthy baby. Obviously there are exceptions, but your body will usually reject a fetus if it is not viable or is "severely damaged" in some way, resulting in a natural miscarriage.

** We also chose to keep our baby news off of Facebook until I was passed the 27 week mark. After 27 weeks, a fetus has a 90% chance of surviving outside the womb in the event that it is born early. We just could not face the possibility of having to explain to numerous people, many of whom were only acquaintances, the details of our personal life while dealing with a tragedy. So when I posted pictures of my baby shower, which took place when I was 35-36 weeks along, I was bombarded with several "I didn't know you were pregnant!" messages. If you didn't know, it's probably because we're not really friends. Just saying...

** When I told my sisters, they reacted very differently. The older of the two I called on the phone as soon as I found out. All I said was "hi" and she could tell by the sound of my voice that something was up. When she asked what was going on, I said "welllllllllll" and then she demanded "are you pregnant!?!?!?!" She was definitely thrilled. When we told the younger of the two, we were standing in my kitchen and my husband just randomly interrupted normal conversation to say "oh, so we're having a baby". It was particularly funny because she started laughing and crying at the same time, then waved her hands and said "ewww that's gross."

**** When I say prepare for the baby, I mean mentally, emotionally, and physically. Learn about taking care of a baby, talk with your partner, get some exercise. There is no way to fully prepare for the baby, but it's good to try. What I don't mean is to go out and buy every baby item under the sun. Basically all you need to take care of your baby in the first few weeks is blankets, a couple onesies, formula and bottles (if you're not breastfeeding), and diapers. All of the other baby items out there are luxury things that you don't really need. So wait and see what you are given, because people will want to give you things, before spending your money. Trust me, you'll need that money later for things like diapers and education funds. Take the donated clothes and toys. Borrow things from people. But don't stress if you don't have it all ready to go before you leave for the hospital.