[Dazai and Chuuya trying to set up Akutagawa and Atsushi]
Dazai: "You know, Akutagawa-kun can be a bit of an asshole–"
Atsushi: "Can?"
Dazai: "Alright, is. But it's all to keep up appearance, you know. He's actually a tsundere!"
Atsushi: "He's a what?"
Dazai, not missing a beat: "And of course, he's a very good looking boy! Very charming and all."
Atsushi: "Well, yeah but–"
Dazai: "And has a pretty cool ability, which, guess what, is even compatible with yours!"
Atsuhi: "That’s pretty cool, I'll give you that, but Dazai-san, I'm not–"
Dazai: "Oh and Gin is such a lovely girl! I mean, she's the most dangerous hired assassin in the story of the Port Mafia, but lovely nonetheless!"
Atsushi: "Wait, are you trying to set me up with Akutagawa or with his sister?"
Dazai, laughing: "Ah, Atsushi-kun! And think about that: you can just give him a knife or a black t-shirt as a present for his birthday and he'd be the happiest. Chibi always gives me a headache with his expensive wine and monstrous hats!"
Atsushi: "Honesty, I think he'd be happier to see me dead. Or to get a call from you."
Dazai: "Well, last one might be true. But Atsushi-kun, don't forget the most important detail!"
Atsushi: "Which is?"
Dazai, suddenly serious: "He's rich."
Atsushi, thoughtful: "Now that's a significant detail."
~~~~
Chuuya: "Listen, I know how you feel about the weretiger, but he's surprisingly a very nice kid and–"
Akutagawa: "I accept."
Chuuya: "–could reveal himself as a good companion– You accept?"
Akutagawa: "Yes. I accept."
Akutagawa: "Set up a date and I'll be there. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish to fill out some files."
Chuuya:
Chuuya: "That was incredibly easy."
~~~~
Dazai: "So how did it go?"
Chuuya: "Frighteningly good."
Dazai: "Oh! The hellhound has found his favorite bone."
Chuuya: "So it seems... What about you? How did it go?"
Dazai: "Not too bad, you know. Could you raise Akutagawa's salary?"
Chuuya:
Chuuya, sighing: "That’s not how it's supposed to work, Dazai."
