Chasing Cars | ch 6 (jjk)
☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: date anxiety, Sam Hwang, OC had a pothead phase in high school, cursing, probably the worst date of OC's life, alcohol, peach, jungkook is a drunk mess, mentions of throwing up, explicit content: mentions of jungkook and oc having sex
☆word count: 9.6k
☆a/n: in this one, jungkook and OC proceed to be frustrating again :') hope you enjoy haha <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
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If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
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Friday, March 1st
You count the water drops on the vitrine of the restaurant.
One, two, three, though the third joins the second to merge into a single, bigger one.
It’s all you can do to quell your nerves as you’re surrounded by the low chatter of the other patrons in the restaurant. You’re sitting next to the window, looking at the world outside. It’s unusually warm today, and the snow turned into rain earlier, though you know it will ice as soon as the temperature drops again. It feels like déjà-vu, like you’re stepping back to Valentine’s Day, though the company will be different tonight.
You’ve been avoiding Jungkook, and he’s been avoiding you. In truth, you don’t even think you’ve seen him once since last Sunday. He’d come home while you were eating dinner in the kitchen, and he’d walked in, patted your head, and grabbed a glass of water. When he’d stayed, leaning against the counter and looking at you, you’d asked him what he wanted.
He’d only frowned and said you were weird, and that had been that.
To be fair, you know what he wanted. Or at least what he deserved. Apologies, that is, for the way you spoke to him at the bar. But you haven’t been able to give him any. Maybe because it pushed him away, rebuilt the true distance between the two of you as if nothing ever happened. It’s safer that way, especially considering how involved you’d already gotten after just a few days.
Then again, you get why feelings would grow so easily with him. It’s the risk that comes with him, the thrill of doing something you shouldn’t do. As a kid, that same thrill had always made you fall more on the bad side, though you’d always been good in school. But did you have a pothead phase in your last two years of high school? Yes, you did.
Looking at yourself today, you think you made it out of it pretty well after all.
You sigh, glancing at the time on your phone. He’s late. You don’t know why you’re surprised he’s late – Sam Hwang has shown time and time again that he cannot be trusted. And frankly, you don’t know why you’re here.
Why after last week’s shit show and what happened last summer, you still agreed to meet up at a restaurant that’s definitely over your budget.
Another sigh escapes your chest, and you tap your feet under the chair, anxiety spiking through you. You feel foolish and dumb and everything in between, and you’re starting to want to head home when he finally appears outside, heading for the door.
Your heart stops in your chest. As a matter of fact, you think it’s dropped to your ass before Sam makes it to your table, apologizing profusely. He’s dripping water, and you realize he’s walked all the way here.
You do find it in yourself to feel bad for him, just a little bit. Because you’re careful around him, afraid he’ll just hurt you again.
“Sup,” Sam says as he finally sits in front of you, pushing his long hair back. “Shit, it’s cold.”
You grab your scarf, handing it to him. “Put this on, it’ll help.”
He hesitates for a few seconds, holding your gaze as if to make sure this is not a trick, and then he finally takes the scarf. He sighs in contentment as he wraps it around himself, before saying, “Your perfume smells really good.”
You know. You know because Hoseok once told you the same, and so did Jungkook.
“Thanks,” you say, looking down at your glass of water.
There’s an awkward silence, as if Sam is expecting you to say anything else, but you can’t find for the life of yourself anything to say. So you busy yourself with looking through the menu, reining in your wince as you notice just how much out of your budget this restaurant is.
“Long week?” Sam asks as he starts leafing through his own menu, though he keeps a careful eye on you the whole time.
You nod. “Had some lab reports for two classes due tonight,” you tell him. “Managed to get them done but they drained me.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t too bad,” he says, laughing lightly. “You’ve always been a smart ass.”
You purse your lips, cheeks dusting with pink. “Thanks.” You clear your throat, meeting his gaze just long enough to ask, “What about you? How was your week?”
Then your eyes fall back to the comfort of the menu, and you try to figure out if ordering an appetizer for dinner would look bad.
“It was great,” he says. “I didn’t have much to do for classes, so I just chilled. Spent some time with Jake and Soobin.”
You remember them. Jake is the redhead you saw at the bar last week, and Soobin is the third male who completed the friend group last summer. There were three other girls, though you haven’t heard of them since you moved to the city.
“Nice,” you let out, offering him a small smile.
The awkwardness expands tenfold after that, and you choose to order the cheapest meal on the menu. It’s pasta, and you figure you can never go wrong with pasta. After you’ve chosen, you still pretend you’re looking though, trying to escape having to face the heavy silence.
A waitress saves you from it by stopping by the table, asking if you want anything to drink. Sam, with his easy smile and nonchalant attitude, immediately attracts her gaze.
“I’ll have a Guinness,” he says. “And the lady will just have water.”
You freeze. You freeze with your eyes shooting at his pretty features. He looks back at you once the waitress nods, scribbling the order on her pad even though you’d assume it’s something easy to remember.
“What do you mean I’ll only have water?” you say.
Sam laughs. He laughs, as if his choosing for you isn’t paternalistic and so out of date. “I’m sure you wouldn’t drink a beer,” he answers, and it’s almost condescending.
You make an effort of looking around the restaurant, pointedly stopping at a table near you, where the couple is sharing a bottle of wine. “I’m sure we could order wine?” you let out questioningly.
“I don’t like wine,” Sam replies, matter-of-factly.
You widen your gaze, tilting your head to the side. “And that means I can’t order any?”
“Damn, why are you so pressed about this?”
Because this is not Sam. Or if it is, you do not recognize him. He’d charmed you last summer, whisked you off your feet and made you believe in love at first sight. It seems you were blinded, and it’s really hard to find any charm in the man sitting in front of you.
“Never mind,” you say, choosing peace over war.
But in that instant you already make the decision that you will never see him again. You’ll stay for dinner, though, if only because you don’t want to have spent twenty dollars on an Uber for nothing.
When the server comes back with the beer and to take your order, you realize maybe you should have left. Indeed, Sam orders for you again – a salad this time around – while he orders a steak for himself. You have to do everything in yourself not to cringe as he does so, and you keep an empty, plastic smile on your lips as he starts speaking to you about what he’s been up to since last summer.
And he speaks and speaks. That’s something you recognize in him – the way he can speak so much without you having to say anything. It’s like he’s doing a monologue – back then, you’d loved listening to his voice, if only because you liked the musicality of it. Right now, it’s grating on your nerves, and you keep diverting your eyes to the window, hoping there’s some salvation for you on the other side.
Obviously there isn’t any, and if Sam realizes your disinterest, he doesn’t let it show.
You think he’s on his month of December when the food finally arrives, and you’d thank God if you were religious for the respite in Sam’s spiel. Indeed, the silence is most welcomed, and you eat your salad, trying not to think about the pasta you wanted to order.
At least it’s a decent salad, but you’ll know you’ll have to eat something else when you get home.
“And the funniest part,” Sam is saying when you tune back into the conversation, “is that the girl wasn’t even pretty!”
You widen your gaze. “Oh!” is all you’re able to say.
You think you see the couple at the table next to yours sliding their gazes to you, and the girl leans in closer to her partner, saying something. You can only assume that she’s laughing at your expense, and you get it.
You would too, if you were seated next to someone having the worst date of their life.
And it’s strange. So fucking strange, because once you would have given everything to be right here, with Sam Hwang. Now you feel like he’s a stranger, like he didn’t kiss you at the end of the night on that first party as if he’d been waiting for you his whole life.
“But her friend was,” Sam adds, and his fork makes a grating sound as he moves it on his plate. “Sorry,” he mindlessly apologizes.
“No worries,” you let out, with no ounce of emotion in your tone.
Indeed, your social battery ran out while he was on October, and you think now he’s almost caught up to the present. Not that you care – you know you’ll never want to hear about Sam Hwang again as soon as you’re out of this restaurant.
“And you?” he asks, surprising you.
Surprising everyone in the restaurant, you reckon.
“Me?” you say.
“What’s new?”
You let out a small laugh. You can’t help it – it bubbles out of your mouth by itself, and you think it almost sounds a little crazed.
“Nothing much,” you answer. “My classes have been chill, can’t wait to be in med school, and I am starting to have a headache.”
Sam frowns, lips slightly curling in disdain. “Am I boring you?”
You blink once, twice, plastering a fake smile on your lips. “Of course not! I’m happy to know everything that’s happened in your life since you left me alone on the docks last summer.”
You say that at the exact same time the waitress stops next to the table. She gasps, or at least you think she does, and then she clears her throat.
“Would you guys like some dessert?” she asks as she eyes the empty plates in front of you.
“No thank you,” you quickly say before Sam could once more decide for you. “We’ll take the bill.”
He’s shocked. You see it the moment your eyes meet his again. You hope he sees all the ire in your gaze, all the hatred for what he did months ago and for this revelation that he isn’t shit anyway.
“I wanted dessert,” he says once the server is out of sight.
“Well, you can go home and get yourself some,” you drawl. “I’m tired of this.”
“Excuse me?” Sam lets out. “I’m stooping so low for you, and you’re just tired?”
“Seriously?” You scoff, shaking your head. “I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking last summer but you are an asshole, Sam Hwang.”
“And you’re so much better?” he says, laughing bitterly. “You’ve been looking outside this whole time as if you’d rather be anywhere but here. You’re the one that was begging me to hang out.”
You snort. “Oh, did I now?” you say. “I think I remember you asking for a date.”
“Whatever,” he grumbles. “I’m done here.”
You watch him get up, not surprised in the slightest as he throws your scarf at you, and then you watch him leave. He knocks his chair down when he grabs his coat from the back of it, and every pair of eyes in the restaurant turns towards you at the commotion. You just remain seated, trying to not explode, lips stretched into a thin line.
When Sam is out of the restaurant, the girl at the table next to yours leans closer to you. “I was about to tell him to fuck off for you, girl,” she says, and it makes you laugh.
“Man, to think I once had feelings for that douche?” you reply.
She chuckles. “He’s just red flags, run while you still can.”
You look at his chair on the floor, wincing. “Highly doubt he’ll ever approach me again.”
“And I say good riddance.”
You laugh along with her and her partner, and then you get up to right the chair, if only to busy yourself. Because your hands are trembling – you’re not good with public scenes like the one that just unfolded, no matter how friendly the people around you are. So you’re relieved when the waitress comes back, though the price on the bill seems to be laughing at you.
You still pay, cringing at the hole it’ll make in your budget, and then you wish a good evening to the girl and her partner, before heading towards the door, putting your coat on on the way. You stay in the lobby as you order your Uber, and you go through the Instagram stories as you wait.
Jungkook’s story is fourth, and you wince as you notice he posted it less than a minute ago. It’s nothing much though, just a picture of a table filled with beers, and you’re about to skip when something catches your eyes.
It is indeed a table filled with beers. A very familiar table, and you think you’ll murder Jungkook.
You slide in his dms as you slowly feel anger rising in you.
[08:57 pm] You: when were u going to tell me ure hosting smthg at the apt tonight?
Jungkook doesn’t reply. As a matter of fact, you don’t even know if he’ll see, and all you can think is that you need to go home and go fast, just to make sure no one breaks anything.
It’s not that you’re against having get-togethers at your apartment. As a matter of fact, you’re hosting something with your friends tomorrow, though you’d planned to tell Jungkook tomorrow morning.
Maybe this is payback for not telling him before. For not apologizing, for pretending that he’s just a stranger even though two weeks ago you were moaning under him.
You push the thoughts away, but they’re like a door you were supposed to pull – they remain unmoving, taking up the whole scene of your mind. They haunt and taunt you all the way home, and you reckon it’s better than to think about Sam Hwang, about the shit-show of the date you just had.
So you cling to the anger rising in you, to the regrets and to the disappointment. Maybe because Jungkook is part of your present, and not your past. Maybe because no matter how much you avoid each other, your paths will always cross.
The Uber drops you right outside the door of your building, and you thank the driver before stepping out into the cold. The rain has relented now, but it’s already started to turn to ice, so you carefully maneuver to the bottom of the stairs leading to your apartment, doing your best not to fall. You’re successful – not like a similar, freezing rain day, and you climb the stairs to the door properly.
You’re not surprised to find the door unlocked.
But you’re definitely surprised when you open the door to the sight of five grown men sitting in your living room, with two pretty girls hanging with them. Though music is playing loud enough to burst your eardrums, everyone’s gaze turns to you, and you stand in the open door with a slightly frightened look on your features.
“Peach!” Jungkook bellows.
If he realizes he’s called you by that pet name in front of everyone he doesn’t let it show. Instead, he jumps to his feet, heading to where you’re standing.
“It’s freezing,” he comments as he stops next to you, pushing the door close.
You immediately smell the alcohol on him, and you cock an eyebrow.
“You’re drunk,” you state.
He flicks your nose. “Astute.”
You don’t know how he manages to use vocabulary like that when he’s drunk. What you do know is that everyone is still staring at you, as if they’re watching the scene unfolding in a movie theatre.
“You didn’t tell me you were hosting something,” you hiss through your teeth, turning away from everyone to focus on Jungkook who’s leaning against the door now.
“Oh, peach,” he lets out. “Sorry. I thought we weren’t on speaking terms.”
Bewildered, you watch as he flashes you one of his iconic grins, the one that makes him look like a bunny, and then he heads back to where he was sprawled on the floor. Right next to one of the girls.
The other girl you know, and she’s currently leaning against her boyfriend. She offers you a bright smile when your gazes meet, waving hi.
“Hey,” you reply as you take off your boots and coat. You put the latter in the closet, before turning towards the living room again.
The group seems to have moved on to something else, and you watch as Jungkook laughs, eyes crinkling with happiness. You don’t think you’re ready for what it does to your lungs – it sucks the breath right out of them, and you quickly leave to head to your room.
You pitstop by the kitchen first, trying to see if there’s anything to eat in the fridge. You fall on some leftover noodles that are undoubtedly Jungkook’s. You snatch them from where they are, thinking it’s a good revenge for him hosting people over without telling you. They’re almost done reheating when Sera walks into the kitchen, and she beams once more at the sight of you.
“Y/n!” she says. “Haven’t seen you in a long time.”
You offer her a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, since Tae left, you guys don’t usually come over.”
And it’s true. Except for Jimin, you haven’t seen the rest of Taehyung’s friend group since he left at the beginning of January.
“It was Jimin’s idea,” she says as she heads to the fridge. She fishes a lemonade from the top shelf, before carefully closing the door again. “We facetimed Tae earlier.”
You nod. “Awesome. How is he?”
“You guys don’t speak?” she asks, and she genuinely sounds concerned.
You shrug your shoulders because you do speak. But ever since what happened with Jungkook, you’ve found it hard to truly speak to Taehyung, to pretend that you didn’t fuck his best friend, so you’ve been trying to avoid him as much as possible.
Though it might be slightly suspicious, Taehyung hasn’t caught up to it yet.
“We do,” you say, chuckling. “Just not that often.”
She hums. “Oh well. Do you want to join us?” she asks, motioning over her shoulder. “JK said you make for a good Kim substitute.”
You snort, unsure of what you just heard. “What?”
She smiles secretively. “You know what I mean.”
Your gaze widens, and the microwave beeps, startling you. You pull your noodles out of it, wincing at how warm the bowl is. You drop it on the counter, before turning towards Sera again. “As a matter of fact, I actually have no clue what you mean.”
She bursts out laughing, that clear crystalline laugh you have no doubt ensnared Jimin when they met years ago.
“Jungkook just said that you guys hung out during the power outage and that you were chill.”
You wonder if you’ll have to murder him. You reckon you might, and your heart squeezes in your chest as you hope no one actually understood what he meant by that.
“He’s right,” Sera adds. “Each time you’ve hung out with us I’ve always found you fun.”
“Oh,” you let out, and you try to smile, try to act as if you didn’t turn entirely white at her words.
“So come eat with us!”
And then she’s waltzing out of the kitchen, and you wonder if you should just jump out of the window. Avoiding Jungkook seems like the only viable option, especially when you step out of the kitchen, noodles in hand, to the sight of him with his head in the lap of the other girl. She’s running her hands through his hair while he plays on the Switch, and your heart squeezes uncomfortably.
Unfortunately, Jungkook catches sight of you, and he awkwardly sits up.
“Come here!” he tells you, and everyone’s head once again turns to you. “Wait, are those my noodles?”
You glance down at the bowl in your hands. “Maybe.”
“Stop stealing my food,” he complains, and he gets up, handing his controller to the girl.
You’re keenly aware of the way her gaze slightly narrows on you as Jungkook makes his way to you. He makes to grab the bowl from your hands, and you turn away from him.
“Nu-uh,” you say. “They’re mine now.”
Jungkook groans. “No.”
And then he wraps an arm around your waist, skillfully stealing the bowl from your hands and raising it over your head. He lets out a victorious cry, and his arm tightens around your waist when you try to reach up.
“If you like my food so bad, just ask me to cook some for you,” Jungkook says, looking down at you.
He’s close. Dangerously close, especially under the eyes of his friends. Of that girl he was all cuddled up with just a few seconds ago.
“What are you doing?” you say through your teeth.
He dumbly smiles, before winking at you. “Making sure you don’t eat the noodles I know I’ll need tomorrow morning for the hangover.”
“Just don’t drink too much.”
His eyes trail to the coffee table. “I think it’s a little too late for that.”
And you know it is. He smells like it, like he’s had too many beers. You wonder how he can look sober even though he drank so much – if you were him, you’d be making a fool out of yourself by now.
“Please, Jungkook,” you say after a few seconds of tense silence, of your eyes getting lost in the enormity of his gaze.
He frowns, and his arm lowers from where he’s holding the noodles up. “What’s wrong?”
You gulp. “I just had a shit date, and I’m still hungry. I just want to eat something.”
He takes a step away from you, handing you the bowl as his frown deepens. He cocks his head to the side, questioningly, and then folds his arms on his chest.
You do your best not to avert your gaze to the muscles on his arms, instead letting your eyes fall to the bowl of noodles.
“Who did you go on a date with?” he asks.
“It’s none of your business.”
“Please tell me it’s not the guy from last week.”
You shut your eyes, sighing deeply. “Jungkook, it’s none of your business.”
“He’s an asshole,” he lets out, a little louder than necessary. “Why would you go out with him?”
You grit your teeth, before meeting Jungkook’s gaze again. “Because we have history. But I promise you that after the shit date we just had, I’ll never see him again. Happy?”
He looks anything but happy, yet he still says, “Yeah.”
“Now, can I go eat in my room while you guys do whatever it is that you’ve been doing?”
You make the mistake of looking at the group in the living room, and you hate that they all quickly look away, pretending that they weren’t watching.
“Why don’t you stay with us?” Jungkook suggests. “To cheer you up.”
You settle your gaze back on him, and he really looks like he wants to cheer you up. He’s pouting slightly, a small crease between his brows as he looks at you intently. There’s a light in his eyes that you don’t want to interpret, not when you hear the echoes of him telling you that you would just pretend nothing ever happened.
Are you weak for being unable to tell him no? Maybe. But you’ll have plenty of time for regrets later.
“Okay,” you let out. “But you should chill on the alcohol, you reek of it.”
He narrows his gaze at you. “Here’s to trying to be nice to you, huh?”
You chuckle, mimicking his expression. “Poor you.”
“You steal my food and then sass me?” he says, tongue pushing on the inside of his cheek. It attracts your gaze to his mouth, and your heart once again squeezes, though this time it doesn’t hurt.
No, this time it makes blush spread on your cheeks, and you feel like you’re starting to burn under his gaze.
“You deserve it,” you declare, and then you’re walking around him to head to the living room.
He jogs to catch up to you, and once more grabs the bowl from your hands. It almost falls to the floor, but he effortlessly saves the noodles, and then motions with his elbow to the coffee table.
“Jae, clear the table please,” Jungkook says.
The guy – Jaehyun, you think? – obeys, though he grumbles the whole time. The unknown girl ends up helping him, and a few seconds later you’re seated in front of the coffee table, with Jungkook next to you. He sits so close you feel his thigh against yours, though he leans back into the couch, attention shifting to the TV, where Jimin and Eunwoo are playing a riveting game of Smash.
Everyone seems to forget that you’re there, and so you eat the noodles, trying your best not to think about Jungkook next to you. About the way you could easily cuddle in his side with a slight shift towards him…
Treacherous little thoughts. You don’t let them live in your head for longer than a few seconds, perhaps because the spice from the noodles overtakes everything. You wince, glancing at Jungkook, who catches your gaze, light dancing behind his pupils.
“You okay?” he asks as your cheeks burn.
“I forgot how spicy you like your food.”
He grins as you fan yourself. “You’ll get used to it. We just have to build up your tolerance.”
Then he does something incredibly stupid. You think his friends will notice, but they all erupt in cheers as they watch the TV, and Jimin slams Eunwoo’s character off the platform.
Jungkook’s large hand lands on your upper thigh. You’d say it’s possessive if you could produce any thoughts, but your brain zeroes in on the spot where he touches you, and you look down. He seems to realize it at the same time as you, and he quickly moves his hand away, frowning slightly.
He’s cute like this. Lips jutting out in a pout, a crease between his brows, confusion swirling in his gaze. Like he didn’t mean to touch you like that, the act done out of instinct.
We just pretend nothing happened, no?
His words clang through your mind, and you turn away from him. Eyes falling on the noodles, and you take a shuddering breath in. Your memories provide you with images of you and Jungkook, alone in this living room. Of an attraction that was inevitable, yet now it tastes bitter.
You’d like to be angry with him. For being so casual about everything, for wanting this over whatever secretive relationship you could have shared with him before Taehyung comes back. Maybe you’re stupid for wanting anything – the longer it would last, the more it would hurt. But as you force yourself to eat the food he cooked, you think the spice on your tongue isn’t really what’s hurting.
No, it’s your heart in your chest. It beats achingly, even more so as Jungkook ends up moving away from you, as if realizing through his drunken haze that he shouldn’t sit so close to you. That even if you tried to be friends, just friends, he’s already fucked you like there was no tomorrow. And during the power outage, it truly felt like there wasn’t any. Like you could just stay in that bubble outside of time.
When Jungkook ends up lying back with his head in that girl’s lap – Lisa, you now know – you pretend like you don’t wish it was you, running your fingers through his hair. You pretend like he’s not there, yet you see him in the periphery of your vision. You hear his laugh, know he smiles, and you wonder, is he just pretending?
Or is he attracted to that girl? You wouldn’t blame him. She matches his doe eyes, pretty features always hinting at a smile. She’s attractive, and you quickly understand that she is Sera’s best friend. Or at least it seems so, because she’s comfortable with the boys, and even more so with Jungkook.
You wouldn’t be surprised if they have history. Or if Jungkook is planning to get with her – hell, if you were a guy, you reckon she’d be the type of girl you’d want to get with.
Yet it hurts. It burns, and you find it hard to focus on the television. Even more so to participate in the conversation, and if someone notices, no one says anything. Perhaps because these are not your friends – no matter how friendly they might get, you’ll always be Taehyung’s little sister to them.
You’ll always be Taehyung’s little sister to Jungkook.
“Hey, do you want something to drink?” Jaehyun says, shaking you out of your thoughts.
You’re done eating by now, and you just turn to look at him, a startled look on your features. He chuckles at the sight, and you feel your cheeks burning.
“No, all good,” you tell him.
“Careful,” Jungkook says from behind you. “Tae’ll kill you if you speak to her.”
Now, Jungkook’s speech is definitely slurred. He’s drunk – you were aware of it before, but you hadn’t realized just how much. Indeed, when you turn to look at him, you know the bitter expression on his features is one he usually hides behind a mask.
Just like that you know that he indeed does care, in the weird, twisted way that Jeon Jungkook can care. It reassures you somehow, but also breaks your heart.
He was there, during the power outage. Did he, too, use it as a way to escape reality? Is he, too, regretting having to go back to normal?
You like to tell yourself that he does.
“Bruh,” Jaehyun lets out, and Jungkook quickly composes his features, offering a bland smile to his friend.
The others just keep speaking about whatever it is that they’re speaking of now, but you can tell Jungkook is upset. You don’t think it’s jealousy because of Jaehyun – he’s haunted, just like you.
He stays upset for a while. Drinking in silence, sitting up when Lisa says something to him and him only. She looks disappointed, and her eyes dart to you for a millisecond before she looks away. If she wants to blame you for Jungkook not wanting to cuddle with her anymore, then so be it.
Because you like that she’s not running her fingers through his hair anymore. Like that he sits between the two of you, and you imagine he’s just a little closer to you than he is to her. You’d want him to be – it’s a dangerous thought, much like all of your thoughts when it comes to Jeon Jungkook.
When Eunwoo suggests doing shots, Jungkook plasters a smile on his lips. You see it for the mask that it is, yet you don’t mention it. You long to reach between you and him, to smooth the lines on his brow away, but you don’t do anything. You accept the shot that’s handed to you, and a few minutes later, you let it burn down your throat.
After that, you decide to grab something to drink, only so that Jungkook won’t have to feel alone. Though you highly doubt he’ll realize the silent support that you offer him.
While you’re still in the kitchen, Lisa walks in, a pretty smile lighting up her equally pretty features. You freeze by the fridge, and she moves closer to you, casually saying, “Hey, how are you?”
You offer her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m okay. You… want anything to drink?”
She looks down at the lemonade you’ve gotten for yourself, nodding once. You hand it to her, and it takes her a few seconds before she grabs it, awkwardness lingering in the air. You take another one for yourself, and then you face her again, hoping she’ll be gone.
She hasn’t moved an inch. As a matter of fact, she’s looking at you pensively, nose slightly scrunched.
“You’re Taehyung’s sister?”
The question takes you aback. You widen your gaze, struck like lightning just hit, and your mouth falls open. You think you must look stupid, so you clear your throat, trying to escape the awkwardness.
“I am,” you reply. “You are?”
“Lisa! Sera’s friend,” she supplies, and she offers you a nice smile. “Something happened between you and Jungkook?”
Straight to the point, then. You’d expected her to circle around the pot, never really fully digging in, but she’s straightforward. You can only admire her for it, even though your heart starts hammering in your chest.
“What do you mean?”
She purses her lips, before chuckling. “Sorry, you probably think I’m crazy.”
You don’t know what to say, so you just remain silent, trying to figure out how to escape the situation. She notices your unease, and she winces.
“Yeah, sorry, I definitely made things awkward,” she says. “It’s just…”
“Peaaaach,” Jungkook yells from the door to the kitchen, and both you and Lisa startle. You meet his gaze over her shoulder, and he frowns, leaning against the doorframe. “What are you guys doing?”
Lisa turns towards him. “Just talking.”
Jungkook cocks an eyebrow. “Well then, why don’t you come just talk with everyone else?”
You stifle a laugh, right as Lisa glances at you over her shoulder. You offer her a tight-lipped smile, and then she shrugs, before walking away.
Jungkook moves out of the way to let her pass, and then he walks in, heading towards where you’re still standing next to the fridge.
“I’m…” he trails off, and he stumbles a little when he stops next to you. “I’m fucking drunk.”
You hear it in his speech. “You want water?”
“Water?” He narrows his eyes, shaking his head slowly. “No, I want beer.”
“Jungkook,” you scold. “You don’t look like you should be drinking more.”
He snorts, and steps closer to you, towering over you. You tilt your head back, though you don’t budge from where you’re standing, effectively blocking the fridge’s door.
“Move,” he tells you.
“Drink water first.”
He lands a gentle hand on your waist, pulling you flush against him. The sudden motion makes you shriek, and you push on his chest.
“Let me get a beer,” he tells you. He drops his head next to your ear, and his warm breath tickles the side of your face. “Before I do something we’ll both regret.”
“Listen,” you whisper, and you gulp as his lips ghost on the shell of your ear. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”
Yet when he does it again, your eyes flutter close, and you angle your head to the side to give him better access to your neck.
“It’s hard to pretend when you look so damn good,” he murmurs. “Always.”
“Jungkook…”
He shakes out of it, taking a step away from you. The sudden absence of contact feels like a cold shower, and you gulp again, this time to swallow the lump that was threatening to form in your throat.
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “Wow. You’re right. I need water.”
You watch him as he moves to the cupboard, grabbing a glass for himself. He fills it at the sink, and he drinks it all in one go, as if that simple gesture will be enough to sober him up. You highly doubt so, but you’re relieved as he pours himself another glass, this time leaning against the counter to drink it.
“What was that?” you ask him.
He sighs heavily, pulling at his piercings. “I don’t know.”
“You can’t do that,” you tell him. “Especially not when there are people around.”
That second sentence is uttered in a low secretive tone, but evidently he still hears. He shrugs, tongue pushing against his cheek.
“Sorry,” he repeats.
He does look apologetic, if not troubled. Like maybe he lost control of himself for a few seconds, and you see it for what it is – you left your mark on Jeon Jungkook. Because there was desire, in his voice, as he held you close to him. Want, in his half-lidded eyes, like you could just step back into that outer world the power outage consisted of.
But you can’t, and as the sober one, you realize you’ll have to be the one to maintain a safe boundary. No matter how much you hate it.
“It’s okay,” you reassure him, and you clear your throat as you open your can. “You just caught me off-guard.”
He smirks lazily. “Liked it?”
The conversation is taking so many 180-degree turns that you feel dizzy, and you shut your eyes, before taking a long swig of the lemonade. It fizzles in your throat, and though it burns you force yourself to drink and swallow.
You only open your eyes to meet Jungkook’s gaze again when half of the can is gone. And you glance towards the door, knowing you’re betraying yourself when you say, “So what if I did?”
“Pretend, peach,” Jungkook says, and it’s almost condescending. “What would your brother say?”
You hate the reminder of Taehyung, but it does the trick. It douses you, and you escape Jungkook’s gaze by focusing on the tiles on the floor.
What would Taehyung say indeed. You wonder if he’d jump into a plane and come back right away. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did, and some part of you believes it might be the only way to keep Jeon Jungkook away from you for the time being. Because without a chaperone around, it’s only bound to happen again.
Especially when he lets his mask of unbothered coolness go. Like he did just a second ago, making your bodily temperature spike. It’s yet to come down, and you take another drink of the lemonade, hoping that it will cool yourself.
“He’d probably say that he’d kill you, right?” you say, reminiscing about what he said to Jaehyun earlier.
“Oh,” Jungkook lets out, and he chuckles. “Definitely. As a matter of fact, I think I’m living on borrowed time now.”
You purse your lips. “So let’s pretend, right? Safer that way.”
He nods. “I really am sorry for that,” he says. “I don’t know where it came from.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure him once more. “Just don’t ever do it again.”
“Ever?”
The question is accompanied by a pout, and you hate the way it makes your gut twist. Like butterflies catching flight, treacherous bugs to make you sick to your stomach.
“Stop,” you say, rolling your eyes. “Why are you such a shameless flirt?”
He’s grinning, yet he doesn’t say anything, only shrugging his shoulders and taking a sip of his water.
“What’s up?” Jimin says as he walks into the kitchen. He eyes you and Jungkook, and the safe distance between the two of you, before heading closer. “Is this like a lame roommate-only party the others can’t join?” he jokes, and you step aside to let him access the fridge.
“No,” you answer at the same time as Jungkook.
Jimin snorts. “What’s up with you two?”
“Nothing,” you quickly say, though your cheeks burn.
“Right.” He clearly doesn’t buy it, and he says, “Peach?”
You gulp. “Don’t ask me, he started calling me that last semester because of Mario Kart.”
“She always chooses Princess Peach!” Jungkook quickly adds, and you think perhaps you’re only digging the grave further.
“Last semester?” Jimin asks, and he’s got a knowing smile on his lips. He’s toying with you two, and he’s enjoying every second of it.
“Yeah.”
Your gaze slides to Jungkook as if he has any support to offer, but you think it’s too late. Strangely, Jimin retreats, shrugging his shoulders.
“Whatever,” he lets out. “Why are you drinking water?”
Jungkook motions to you. “She suggested it. ‘Cause I’m pretty drunk.”
Jimin cocks an eyebrow, sending you a disbelieved look. “He’s been drunker than this, he can handle himself.”
“Why are you trying to get so plastered?” you ask, unable to help yourself.
Jimin purses his lips. “Why not?”
Why not indeed. It seems Jungkook only needed that encouragement to return to drinking, and you watch in horrified awe as he drinks and drinks, downing shots with his friends as soon as you return to the living room.
You’re not surprised he’s struggling to stand on his feet by the time his friends leave. Jimin and Sera linger for longer, Jimin offering you an apology when he realizes the monster he unleashed.
“I told you,” you say, sighing. “Now I’ll sleep to the sounds of him throwing up.”
Jungkook hiccups, raising a finger. “I’ll have you know.” He pauses, shutting his eyes as he sways. “I don’t throw up.”
“Yeah yeah, Jungkook,” Sera answers, and you stifle a laugh as he glares at her.
“Let’s just get you in bed before we leave,” Jimin says.
“And tell Lisa to stop looking at me like that,” Jungkook tells Sera, speech so slurred you’re not quite sure what he said.
It seems his friends also aren’t sure, because Sera says, “What?”
Jungkook looks at you, frowning. “I don’t know.”
“You’re fucked up,” Jimin says, and he starts laughing.
He’s not faring all that better, and he sways on his feet as he clasps Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook loses his balance, but he luckily just falls against the wall, slowly tilting to the side.
“Oh shit.”
All you can do is look at him as he eventually collapses, though he’s laughing the whole time. Jimin follows soon after, and Sera and you just look at them, eyes wide.
“You guys always drink so much?” you ask, directing the question to Sera.
“They do,” she replies, pointing to them. “Believe it or not but Taehyung’s the one that usually gets them not to drink too much.”
You cock an eyebrow in disbelief. “Yeah yeah.”
“I swear!” she insists, laughing that easy laugh of hers. “He only got too drunk that one time last semester.”
“And he threw up in the car,” you reminisce, while the guys do God knows what on the floor. “Hardly see that as a good influence.”
“He’s not,” Jungkook says from the floor, and you look down to see him sprawled on his back, Jimin giggling next to him. “Your brother is an asshole.” He looks serious for a few seconds, and then he bursts out laughing. You just remain silent, and he’s the one to speak next. “Can you help me?”
He does grabby hand motions at you, and you scrunch up your nose as if in disgust. “You can crawl to your room yourself, JK.”
He forces himself to sit up, leaning against the wall, as Jimin does the same next to him. Though Sera folds and helps Jimin after he’s offered her puppy eyes even you wouldn’t have been able to resist either.
“I’ll crawl to your room if you don’t help,” Jungkook threatens.
“Alright, let’s see you try.” The challenge hangs in the air between the two of you, as Sera and Jimin watch the scene unfolding.
Jungkook turns his head in the direction of your room, but then resumes his attention on you. “Too far.”
“Then sleep on the floor.”
“Are you for real?” he asks, and he sounds exasperated.
You groan, rolling your eyes, though you finally step closer to him. “We should have asked your friends…” you trail off looking at Jimin. “Your sober friends to help bring you to your room before they left.”
“Peach, I much prefer if it’s you tucking me in,” Jungkook teases as your hands close around his.
His are clammy, warm, but you ignore it, instead pulling him up. It’s a struggle, Jungkook a dead weight, but soon enough you manage to help him stand. He wobbles on his feet, and you hold onto his arm, trying to steady him.
“I won’t tuck you in,” you say through gritted teeth when he’s finally standing on his own.
You’re about to slide your gaze towards Jimin and Sera when Jungkook cups your cheek, and you think the Earth has stopped revolving around the sound. It stops abruptly, and you’re propelled forward, in those big eyes looking down at you like you’re the only thing in the universe.
You want to hate him. Right now, you want to hate him so bad for telling you to pretend nothing ever happened. Because it’s too natural to lean into his palm, too natural to get lost in his eyes.
How many girls has he ensnared with that sparkly gaze? How many of them have fallen for the trap, only to be abandoned when he’s done playing?
“What are you doing?” you ask him.
He blinks once, slowly, and then turns his head towards Jimin and Sera. Jimin’s mouth is agape, and Sera looks like she’s about to burst out laughing, that knowing glint in her eyes so bright it almost puts Jungkook’s gaze to shame.
“Shit, you’re still here?” Jungkook lets out.
“Not anymore!” Jimin quickly replies, and he tugs Sera towards the door. “We’re leaving. You guys do… whatever it is that you’re doing. We didn’t see anything.”
You move away from Jungkook, and his hand hangs in the air between the two of you for a few seconds before it falls aimlessly at his side. You take a step towards Jimin, calling his name.
He looks at you when he has an arm in the sleeve of his coat, the other one yet to be put on. “Yeah?”
“It’s nothing,” you say, trying to put as much conviction in your tone as you possibly can. “He’s just drunk.”
“Oh.” Jimin laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Sure. I won’t say shit to Taehyung. I like Jungkook’s head on his shoulders.”
You gulp, your throat feeling so dry you wouldn’t be surprised if you’d die. “Who said anything about Taehyung?”
“Isn’t that what you were going to say?” he enquires.
You shoot a look towards Jungkook, who looks like a kid who’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t do. He’s pouting, eyes angled to the floor, and his hands are hidden in his pockets, as if he doesn’t trust them to not touch you right now.
“No?” you let out once you turn back towards Jimin and Sera.
Both of them finally have their coats on, but you think it’s too late. It’s too late – no matter what he says, Jimin will tell Taehyung. He’s a busybody, through and through, and you just know Taehyung’s ought to know by the time the sun rises tomorrow.
You can only hope you’ll be able to weather the storm when it’ll hit.
“I was just going to say…” you start, not really knowing where to head. “Honestly, nothing more than that – he’s just drunk. If you want to tell Taehyung that Jungkook’s handsy when he’s drunk, I don’t think that’ll surprise him.”
Jimin throws you a no-bullshit look, as if he was there during the power outage. As if he saw the way Jungkook held you, and the way he fucked you like it was the end of the world.
“To be fair, Jungkook is handsy all the time,” Sera cuts in. “Did you see how he was sprawled on Lisa earlier?”
You don’t know why she’s throwing you a lifeline. But you remain silent, not wanting to dig the grave deeper, and you just offer a nod and a tight-lipped smile to Jimin. He does look confused for a few seconds until he shakes his head as if trying to clear his thoughts.
“Whatever,” he eventually says. “I’m way too drunk for this shit anyway.”
And then he’s turning around, opening the door to step outside. Sera watches him go fondly, before turning towards you again.
“Sorry about that,” she apologizes on behalf of her boyfriend. “He really is drunk.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure her as you walk to the door. You hug her goodbye, before holding the door open for her. “I’ll see you guys around.”
“See you!” Jimin yells from the bottom of the stairs, and you wince hoping you won’t get a noise complaint.
“Shut up,” Sera hisses through her teeth, and Jimin throws an apologetic look in your direction before his girlfriend grabs his arm, forcing him to follow her as she walks away.
You look at them for a few seconds before shutting the door behind you, and it takes you a moment to gather the courage to face Jungkook again. A moment of you looking at some chipped paint on the door, wondering how it is that the stars aligned to put you in such a compromising position with your brother’s best friend.
How is it that he had to seduce you, only to walk away like nothing happened after? It makes your blood boil in your veins, and you turn around with ire in your gaze, directed at the man leaning against the wall.
He’s still staring at the floor, his features blank. You wonder what’s going on in that thick head of his. Is he regretting this? Is he realizing that no amount of pretending will ever be enough to cover the fact that you did the irreparable, together?
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you ask him, venom dripping from your voice.
He looks startled, big eyes going wide as saucers as he meets your gaze. “What?”
“Now Jimin’s going to be onto us!” You vaguely motion behind you, before folding your arms on your chest. “I know you’re drunk, but you’ve got to fucking control yourself.”
“Hey, fucking chill out, will you?”
You see red. You see blood red, like a bull and its red flag, and you cross the distance between you and him. He waits for you, lips spreading in a lazy smirk as he leans his head against the wall, only so that he can look down his nose at you. You stop right in front of him, finger pointed towards his features.
“Don’t tell me to fucking chill.”
“Or what?” He tilts his head to the side, the perfect picture of arrogance.
“Or I don’t know, Jungkook,” you drawl, shutting your eyes in annoyance. “Don’t you care that Taehyung might be onto us because of Jimin?”
He huffs a breath, and you open your eyes to glare at him. His tongue toys with his piercing, before pushing on the inside of his cheek.
“He won’t be,” Jungkook affirms like it’s the truth to the universe. “Why would he? Because we’re hanging out? Nah, we did that even before he left.”
You raise your eyebrows. “Not like that.”
“Like what?” he pushes.
You sigh, fists clenched so hard they’re leaving moon-crescent indents in your palms. “Like we’re friends. You touching me. All that shit.”
“I thought you like when I’m touching you,” Jungkook says, voice dropping an octave.
You stare at him in disbelief, quite at the same time as your heart starts racing in your chest.
“Shut up.”
He raises his hand in defence. “Sorry. It’s hard to help myself when you’re looking at me like that, peach.”
You try to school your features into neutrality, but you don’t know if it works. Don’t know if he can tell that your blood is rushing to your cheeks, threatening to have the effects of his words show on your face.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me,” he murmurs, and a finger of his finds your clenched fist, tapping gently on it. He doesn’t stop there – his digit slowly moves up your arm, and all you can do is stand, frozen in place. “Like you’re mad I suggested pretending that nothing happened.”
You hate him. You really do. You don’t understand how he’s able to say this shit when he’s drunk, but then again, maybe he’s wanted to say it sober, but his inhibitions were keeping him in check. Now, nothing forms a barrier between his mind and his mouth, and the words come forth to taunt you, tease you.
To make your heart race in your chest as you look up at those big doe eyes.
“I’m not mad,” you insist, swatting his hand away. “I agree with the statement. He’s your friend, he’s my brother. We shouldn’t have fucked at all.”
He nods. “See? I knew you saw the wisdom of it.”
Now, it hurts. It almost hurts enough to cut through the blinding anger in your blood, though you cling to the anger like it’s a buoy. You cling to it like it’s the path to safety, and maybe it is.
Maybe it is, because Jeon Jungkook is danger personified.
So, you roll your eyes, gently patting his chest. “Then stop. Fucking. Touching. Me,” you say, tapping on his chest with every word uttered.
He sucks on his piercing, and you think his gaze has gone darker. It’s clouded with lust, all directed at you. When he looks at you like that, you feel like the rest of the world goes out of focus, like all there is is him.
Which is quite frankly the reason why you need to stay away from him. To never let him approach you again, to never lower your guard with him again. For Taehyung, yes, but also for your heart that’s barely recovered from Sam Hwang.
It’s strange, to think that you started the evening with Sam, only to finish it so close to Jungkook. To finish with so little distance between you and Jeon Jungkook that you fear you might crash in his orbit once more.
“You’re the one touching me right now, peach,” he says, voice so low it almost sounds like a growl.
And you are. You’ve laid your hand flat on his chest, and you can feel the racing of his heart under your palm. You make to move your hand away, but he quickly puts his hand over yours, clammy fingers keeping you close.
“Let me go,” you breathe out.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
His sentence makes you insane. Makes the red spark to life again, and you quickly step away. It’s like you were in a trance – you blink once, twice, and Jungkook appears in all his drunk glory again. He looks at you carefully, the lust fading as he beholds the emotions on your face, the mask you’ve let slip.
“Don’t ever tell me that again,” you warn him.
“Why?”
“Just don’t,” you insist, scoffing. “You can’t kiss me, I can’t kiss you, we-“
Jungkook interrupts you by grabbing your face and crashing his lips on yours. You’d expected it – you’re the mere comet, and he the star. Though you might have come from Kuiper’s belt, Jungkook has been pulling you in, and there’s no escaping his gravity.
So even though you shouldn’t, you kiss him back. You kiss him back, pushing him back towards the wall. He hits hard, and he huffs out a breath that you swallow as your tongue darts in his mouth. You taste the alcohol on his breath, but more than that you taste him – the inebriating taste of Jeon Jungkook makes your mind spin in no time, and you’re forced to take a step back.
To take a step back and look at his pink lips, now swollen from the kiss. His eyes remain closed, and his breathing is ragged, chest going up and down quickly, much like yours is, too.
“Don’t kiss me again,” you say.
And you walk away. You don’t look at him once before slamming the door to your room shut, hands shaking so hard you think you’ll break. The shaking threatens to take over your whole body, and you almost expect Jungkook to follow you.
He doesn’t. He doesn’t, and the sound of his door softly shutting is like a flatline, haunting you terminally. Like there will be nothing more after that than the memories of his lips on yours, of his hands tracing the curves of your body.
Though it might be sad, though every inch of your body is craving for his touch, you need to be sane. You need to stop before you both get in too deep. Because, even though you could have him now, even though he’s just on the other side of the wall, the moment Taehyung is back, it would have to be over.
You don’t want to get involved with someone that you’re only bound to lose anyway.
You don’t sleep after that, sleep evading you in favour of your spiraling thoughts. You let them carry you like the tornado that they are – you’re in too deep already.
What will be left of you when the tornado spits you out?
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Ughhhhh they are annoying I love them. What did you guys think? Let me know <3
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