#btswritersguild

[btsydtrash]

Ego [9]

mafia bts x stripper yn; hybrid universe

Everyone had heard of the Dirty7s, even distantly. Nobody could put names or faces to the members, but the name was enough to strike fear into the hearts of civilians, criminals, and law enforcement alike. They’re known to be methodical, impenetrable, and most of all, merciless. Nobody wants to cross any of them. Lest of all you - a college student stripping to pay her debts.

What happens when you fall into their web of deceit and lies?

What happens when you find that you don’t want to escape, even when you know you should?

Masterlist  /  i don’t have a tag list  /  find me on twitter  /  word count: 1.8k

AN: Here we go again! crime syndicate BTS X stripper yn. I’ll post this on AO3 too. Some of BTS are humans, some are hybrids. They all are obsessed with Reader. Reader is black in my headcanon.

(yandere / angst / gore / fluff / smut / violence / none )

trigger warnings: hey.... I'm back! yn is depressed. she's suffering a lot but she's not alone. nothing of significance. just needed to get this out after so long. I'll be back soon with more drama!

“Breaking News: The body of an African-American Beta hybrid was found dismembered and abandoned under a bridge in East Point. East Point is known for its houseless and opiate-dependent population. Many new strains of synthetic drugs are being released onto the streets, made accessible to vulnerable, unmated Omegas. Markings found on the body indicate the involvement of a gang widely known as the Dirty7s. The Dirty7s are an anonymous group with links to…”

The TV drones on in the background but you don’t hear it. Well, you can’t hear it. You hadn’t been paying much attention to anything for the last few days. How many? You’ve got no idea. It’s been enough for your hair to start smelling bad anyway.

You walk out of the bathroom, dropping the towel as you go, grabbing the big t-shirt with Thandi’s face on it and pulling it on. You had gotten a couple from the funeral from Thandi’s mom. She had made them, gotten them pressed at a local tailor’s place to raise some money for the funeral. You knew how expensive it was to die. Flashes of your mothers face fly in front of your eyes before you can stop it and they make you wince. You tried to pay but Thandi’s mom had refused your money. “My Thandi told me all about you,” she had said, holding your hand so tightly it almost hurt, but you didn’t complain. In fact, the sting-burn sensation grounded you, and you felt yourself get lost in her deep, knowledgable eyes. She might have just lost her daughter, but it seems as if she had already experienced a lifetime’s worth of pain. It made you ache. “You… You were her friend. She loved you so much.”

And then you felt it again, the guilt-driven nausea.

It was the first time you met her mom, but you knew all about her daughter, Sana. The young girl, only eight years old, stood solitarily, as the preacher droned on and on about ‘eternal bliss’ and ‘blessed memories’ and ‘living on in memory’. The expression on her face, you knew it so well. It was as if nothing was making sense to her mind. She was so sad, so lost, so lonely. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of her throughout the funeral. She looked around at all of the people at her mother’s funeral, curious yet careful, quiet and withdrawn, before turning her eyes to the coffin at the front of the church and biting down on her bottom lip. She didn’t make a sound, not a peep - the whole time.

They opted for a closed casket because well… What other option was there? The truth of Thandi’s death wasn’t lost on the participants of her funeral but it was bad manners to bring it up. The thought alone was enough to bring bile to your throat so fast, it made your head spin. You rush to the bathroom and spit up in the toilet. Just a little bit this time, thankfully. You swill your mouth out and walk to grab something from the refrigerator. It took you days to realize that someone had come into your apartment while you had been at the funeral and had fixed certain things.

The fridge had been filled. The pile of dishes washed. The laundry had been taken and washed and returned all clean and folded. The bed had been spread. The rug had been moved around and vacuumed. The bathroom had been straightened out.

Once you had come to your senses, you burst into grateful tears.

You knew who it was.

He had left a t-shirt of his, saturated in his scent and so big it drowned your body in material, in your closet for you to sleep in.

You take a glance at the t-shirt again, wrapped around a big pillow on your bed, and you sigh, getting into bed once more, hair still damp at the roots of your head. 

Your phone lay on the table beside your bed, silent but charging, and you take a second to look at it before you grab it and make a call.

It doesn’t ring but for two times before you hear his voice on the other end of the line.

“Hello, YN,” Jungkook says, quietly.

You don’t answer. You can’t find your mouth, you can’t feel it well. Your tongue feels fuzzy and heavy, like a weight is sitting on it.

“YN…?”

Jungkook pauses slightly before the sound of him shifting his weight comes through the receiver.

He asks, softly, “Do you need me?”

You are still quiet, but you let out a light sigh through your nose. It’s the loudest you’ve been in days.

No. I don’t need anyone, you want to say. But again, more silence. Your tongue is too heavy. Your stomach is rolling and your head feels all loopy. You can't imagine where all these good hormones are coming from, flooding your system with flickers of light and ease and warmth and syrupy goodness.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” he murmurs, gently. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need.”

Another sigh.

He takes a moment to think before he says, a certain chipperness in his tone, “Shall I tell you about my day, Pretty?”

A final sigh, and you turn over to your side, phone pressed to your cheek. If you were more present in your body, it probably would hurt.

Jungkook sounds as if he reclines in his seat as he begins telling you all about his day.

“It’s been mostly boring. I woke up at 5:30. I went to the gym for a couple of hours. I boxed and ran and did some weights. I think I could press three of you, you know, Pretty? You're so little compared to me. Sorry. I got distracted. Then, I showered and ate breakfast with Tae. You haven’t met him yet, right? I think you’d like him. A lot. Anyway. After, I met Jimin for some work-related stuff. Very boring. Do you want me to tell you about it, Pretty?”

He doesn’t let you get a sigh out before he continues.

“I didn’t think so. Then, after hours of back and forth, I went to go pick up my suit. We have a fancy dinner to go to this weekend. It’s Jin-hyung’s birthday.”

His voice gets all syrupy and warm, and it twists and rolls in your stomach all hot and uncomfortable. Why does his happiness make you feel so bothered?

“-and after we finish at DeMaggio’s, Joonie-hyung says we’re going on a helicopter ride around the city. Would you like to do that one day? Should I invite you? I can do that, you know. I don’t think Hyung would mind.”

The thought alone makes you snort.

He pauses and then, when he talks again, his voice seems relieved.

“You laughed, Pretty.”

You blink, somewhat surprised. He wasn’t lying. You did laugh, breathy and weak as it was.

“Pretty, you know I miss you so much, right?”

You close your eyes tightly at his words, lip getting sucked between your teeth.

He takes a moment to ask, quietly, almost needy, “Do you miss me?”

Your throat gets all tight and thick, and you feel horrible all over again. He hears you choke on something, because his voice gets all flighty, worried and concerned over the phone, as he peppers you with soft words.

“You don’t have to say it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Please, don’t cry.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

And then, he pauses and says the one thing you both craved and dreaded to hear.

“She wouldn’t want you to be this angry with yourself,” he says. Then, with more confidence, he claims, “You’re allowed to be happy.”

You cut off the phone before the sobs take over once more.

////

Jungkook taps the edge of his phone on the table a few times before he curses to himself. The wolf glances up from his spot in the corner of Yoongi’s office and asks, “You think I pushed her too much?”

 Yoongi looks over the top of his book and remarks, “It isn’t the end of the world, Kookie. Relax. You did a good job with the cleaner. She probably is sleeping next to the t-shirt you gave her and she called you, of all people she could’ve called.”

Jungkook bites his bottom lip and admits, “I’m getting frustrated.”

Yoongi pushes, lightly, “With?”

He puts the book to the side, knowing full well that he wasn’t getting any more ‘him-time’ while the wolf was occupying his personal office in their home. He loved each of his brothers dearly, however… Fuck, he needed his own place sometimes.

“Being patient,” the wolf explains, glibly. “It’s all so fucking boring.”

“Then occupy yourself with things that matter,” Yoongi suggests, moving to his feet. “I think Tae might be done with the guy downstairs, if you want a turn to pummel something moving?”

“The fucker’s still alive? Tae’s losing his touch,” Jungkook remarks, amusedly. He wasn’t lying. Usually, Tae would have had him chopped into tiny pieces and thrown into a river or incinerated. Jungkook wonders why he’s taking his time.

Yoongi snorts, pushing his glasses into his hair. He only needs them when his eyes start to get dry, like now. He usually didn’t use his other form, preferring to be in his natural hybrid state when in the comfort of their own home, but he’s been testing his personal limits recently, worried that he might freak YN out with his skin, his eyes, his tongue… She was prey, at the end of the day. He probably should have the lights off but he doesn’t want to ruin the mood. “Not even. Jin won’t let him die. He keeps zapping him with the AFIB machine. I heard he shitted himself.”

“Well, he shouldn’t have been fucking around, pretending to be something he’s not,” Jungkook replies, an annoyed look passing over his face. The younger of the two moves to his feet and he asks, “Say, hyung.” His tone of voice catches Yoongi’s attention, so he sits up a little more in his comfy office chair, eye brow quirking so as to prompt the wolf to continue speaking. “Do you think YN will actually come to understand us?”

Yoongi pauses to mull over his answer for a few seconds before he answers, honestly, "I don’t think she has a choice.”

Jungkook acknowledges his answer with a melancholy look on his face.

Then, he glances down at his Rolex and makes a small noise of glee. “I’ve got a spare hour. I think Tae might be a little fatigued.”

Yoongi snorts before reaching back for the book. His eyes are getting awfully dry. Suddenly, the lights flick off and Jungkook glances back from his spot at the door, a narrow line of yellowed light slightly warming the room.

“Hyung, you know I always know, right?”

Yoongi scoffs. “Get the fuck out of here, pup.”

Jungkook closes the door and Yoongi finally switches back to his natural form, eyes narrowing into slits and he reaches for his book once more, settling comfortably into his chair.

It just started getting good, too.

- end - 

Schemer (1), Abstentious (2), Thievery (3), Melancholy (4), Writhing (5), Lusting (6), Non-negotiable (7), Cutting the cord (8), Nevertheless (9)

[opaljm]

nip it in the bud (m) – kth

➻ female reader x taehyung

➻ going to get a piercing au/completing bucket list au + my brother’s best friend au + tattoo artist!taehyung

➻ genres: smut, romance

➻ length & status: 10k words; complete

➻ rating & warnings: 18+; taehyung has tattoos and piercings, he and his big hands are illegal, tae's oral fixation is entirely out of control, nipple sucking/breast play, semi-public sex (? idk tbh), the pussy eating he does is sloppy and gross, squirting, nasty/messy sex, unprotected sex (wear a condom and be safe kids OR ELSE), riding, creampie, pussy stuffing cuz tae has a big dick (I don’t think you understand it’s GIGANTIC), multiple orgasms

➻ summary: You're not sure how you ended up here, but maybe a shitty ex and a horrible breakup had a hand in what placed you in front of the tattoo parlor. It was already a nerve-wracking experience, but what you never expected was seeing that the owner and artist giving you nipple piercings was your older brother's best friend you hadn't seen in ages. to make things even worse, he got fucking hotter.

➻ a/n: this was born out of a TikTok where I learned that tattoo artists have to make sure your nipples are hard before piercing them and then I yelled at @jamaisjoons, having an existential crisis about how hot that was. She is the one who told me to write about it 😌 and the reason the fic exists. The last time I got piercings was idk 16 years ago (yes I was 7 🥴). I also have zero tattoos so my knowledge of this is minimal I just wanted to write hot Taehyung sex. Hope y’all enjoy this mess regardless. beta-read by @taegularities @hantaev & @chateautae​ (she helped with the summary too🤩) my favorite tae accounts who have encouraged me so much during this arduous writing process! beta-read and banner made by @softestmuse! You all were there for me for so much during this whole thing and helped so much 🥺

⋆ my masterlist ⋆

Were you actually going to do this? Was this really happening?

As you stood in front of the tattoo parlor christened “Inked in Blue & Grey,” by the messily arranged jagged font that laid out the cobalt blue neon letters decorating the shopfront, you almost chickened out. 

When you had been scrolling through Yelp late at night two weeks ago, flitting between the stages of depression and bargaining as you made your way through the grief from the breakup between you and your ex, Donghyuk, your eyes had stopped on the highly rated tattoo parlor – 4.9 stars? That was practically unheard of, especially when they had reviews and ratings in the tens of thousands. It hadn’t taken much for you, with eyes hurting from the blue light of your cellphone in the late hours and a head aching from how wine drunk you were, to quickly find the link to their website and sign up for an appointment to get twin nipple piercings. Well, no one ever wanted a singular nipple piercing to your knowledge. But you had no doubt that there were countless people out there who had chickened out from the pain of the first to not follow through with the second one.

You slowly pulled your lower lip with your teeth, softly biting down on the plump flesh as you had your head tilted up towards the intimidatingly bright letters of the parlor’s sign. The last time you had gotten any piercings was in summer camp ten years ago when Yuju had stabbed your ears through with a sewing needle. The needle had been unbearably hot from having been heated by the flame of the fluid lighter she had snuck into camp by tucking it in the black Nike crew socks she had been wearing on drop off day. It had stung you with the quick flashing pain of a burning stab wound. 

Yuju had been your last resort to get additional ear piercings which you had thought were so cool after you saw your brother walk into the house one day with several new helix piercings to go along with his lobe ones. You had begged your mother for another set of piercings, tired of having the boring set of two you had. You wouldn’t get them in the cartilage like Jimin had but wanted to add to your lobe. Your mother had vehemently denied your protests and grounded Jimin for sneaking out and getting piercings with his best friend Taehyung. 

You had complained about it to your cabin mates, who had seen the scores of tween and teen campers swoon over your brother and his friends who seemed edgy and dangerous. Your friends however were immune to their appeal and knew that they weren’t much more than geeky nerds who carefully hid their embarrassing tastes in both anime and porn. Hearing thirteen-year-old Y/N complain about her plight in the late-night whispers covered by the chirping of crickets that kept the night camp counselors from checking in on your cabin, Yuju had jumped down from her bunk into yours and eagerly offered to help you increase your total number of piercings up to four.

Looking back, you had no idea why you had trusted Yuju’s dubious claims of working at the Claire’s in the mall close to her house for three months. Later on, you found out that it had actually been Yuju’s older sister who had had the nice mall gig. The incident had left you with piercings that kept getting infected until one of them finally closed up, and you were still rocking the asymmetrical ear-piercing look, almost a decade later with one dangly earring threaded with stars on your right ear while a cubic zirconium stud and gold bedazzled moon clipped your left ear. You never saw the point of getting them fixed and had avoided piercings and needles to the best of your abilities until now.

You thought you pulled off the mixed jewelry look pretty well, but your face instantly scrunched up with an unhappy frown when you remembered Donghyuk telling you to wear matching earrings when you went out on dates with him. You bit down on the flesh of your bottom lip harder as you recalled how Donghyuk had constantly berated you and put you down for the entire duration of your three-year long relationship. Your face twisted as though a bitter taste had flooded your mouth when you remembered that your mother had been expecting him to propose to you this year. Why had you begged him for another chance when he callously threw your arms off him as he stomped around the apartment gathering up his things, ignoring your pleas and requests for an explanation until he couldn’t take it anymore? Then Donghyuk had turned around to you, glaring at you with the heat of his hard black-brown eyes, staring you down resentfully from his towering height of 6’2.

“I broke up with you because I’m tired of having such mind-numbingly vanilla sex with a woman who never comes. You’re so boring and honestly, I’m just not attracted to you anymore, Y/N. I thought I could change the meek mousy weirdo. But after three years, it looks like I was wrong,” he had said with a caustic bite to the venomous hate he spewed from his mouth.

Yes. You remembered exactly why you had booked that appointment in the fuzzy high you had gotten from too much wine and “Emily in Paris.” You had been so livid. Of all people, Donghyuk thought you were boring? Unadventurous, and vanilla? You were the one who was always holding yourself back from being too enthusiastic during sex because he could only get off when he was doing you doggy style with his hand covering your mouth in what he thought was his attempt at BDSM in the bedroom.

Your eyes lit up with renewed heat and you found yourself marching forward to the door and swinging it towards you with a powerful pull as you made your way in. Your newfound confidence only lasted until you made your way to the receptionist. There, you found yourself fumbling once more.

“Hi, I’m Park Y/N,” you stammered nervously, “I – uh, I made an appointment for… um nipple piercings,” you whispered the last bit, embarrassedly as your neck straightened and you twisted your head around to make sure no one else had overheard you. “Two weeks ago? I made my piercing appointment a while back,” you finished more confidently.

The receptionist stared at you expressionlessly. “What time is your appointment?” she asked, tucking back a vibrant purple lock of hair behind her ear.

“It’s – it’s the one o’ clock,” you mumbled, clearing your throat uneasily. You had never been in an establishment like this before and dressed in your oversized sage colored waffle knit sweater and a pair of charcoal gray Lululemon leggings you felt wildly out of place.

“Alright Y/N, here are the forms you need to fill out before you do this,” she said easily, plucking out the thick stapled document out of a manila folder. “Just a reminder, this is a semi-permanent body modification and this will close up rather quickly if you go without wearing jewelry for too long. There are pages on your medical history and if you have any allergies on the front. Prices and payment information are on the pages following that. The documents explaining the procedure and aftercare are at the end. We’ll send you home with a list of instructions on how to care for your new piercings after your appointment ends as well.”

You blinked, overwhelmed by the staggering amount of information she had just thrown your way. As you sat down at the oatmeal colored sherpa sofa at the reception and read through all the health risks and warnings, making sure you were taking in all of the information, carefully signing all the lines and checking off all the boxes, you wondered if you were in over your head.

Technically, it wasn’t too late for you to turn your back on this. You would lose your deposit, but you could still walk away – pain free. What would Jimin do if he found out that you had gotten your nipples pierced? Probably murder you, based on how he had reamed you and Yuju out after your ears had gotten infected from swimming in the lake the camp had been located next to. But would you really let your overbearing annoying older brother control you even now when you were 23? And how would Jimin even know about you getting these very intimate piercings? 

You only saw him a few times a year. There was no way Jimin would be finding out about this, nipples were more discreet than ears and you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been around your brother in clothing that would even hint that you had boobs, much less nipples. Jimin had only ever seen you in oversized T-shirts, flannel pajama bottoms or baggy sweats, and giant zip-up hoodies when he had the fortune of being in your company. No wonder he sometimes forgot you were a girl. 

Once you finished up the paperwork, you made your way back to the girl at the front desk with the clipboard. Placing it down on the counter, you took out your credit card to pay up front, with your id card beside it as verification on top of the terrazzo surface, but she shook her head, “You pay at the end for the piercings and the jewelry you pick. Personally, I prefer nipple clickers,” she said wryly, twisting her lips into a smirk.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you mumbled as you watched her stand up and come around to you.

“Follow me, I’ll take you to the private room we have for the more intimate tattoos and piercings. There’s only one artist in today but he should be finishing up with his other client soon. You’ll probably only have to wait 5 to 10 minutes for V,” she threw her words over her shoulder carelessly as she guided you through the narrow hallway.

When she closed the door behind you and left you alone in the room, you felt rather like you were at the doctor’s waiting for your gynecologist to come in and the panic quickly set in once again. Should you have your shirt off and be ready for the piercing? Or would the tattoo artist be freaked out if he was instantly assaulted with the image of your breasts the second he opened the door? Should you sit up on the wide leather covered table or continue to stand while staring awkwardly at the door waiting for the artist to walk in?

As you looked around the small room, your eyes caught on the artwork decorating the walls. They were on white backgrounds that were framed and looked like post-impressionist portraits. The color scheme stuck to black and the primary colors, while the faces had the boldest of expressions painted over them. Extraordinary, you thought, as the door opened behind you.

“Hi, I’m V. I'll be the artist who is piercing you today. I see you’ve signed up for two nipple piercings?” A deep sensual voice flooded into the room, making you shudder involuntarily. 

You turned back and saw a male looking down at the clipboard with the forms you had filled out, his face was half covered by an indigo face mask dotted with silver embroidered stars while the other half was concealed by the soft looking black waves that were flowing forward as his bangs swept over his forehead and obscured his eyes.

“Yes, that’s right,” you nervously tittered, “Should I– should I take off my top?”

“Mmhmm,” he murmured, his eyes quickly sweeping over you, barely looking at you, as he continued on professionally, “Could you also take off your bra and tie back your hair before sitting up on the table?”

V turned around to the cabinets to get out the clamps and needles he would need to pierce you. As he bustled around gathering purple latex gloves and alcohol wipes, he asked in his soothing husky voice, “So what type of jewelry are we thinking? Titanium straight barbells? White gold hoops?”

“Which one is better?” you asked, shuddering in the air-conditioned room as your arms prickled up with goosebumps and you wrapped your arms around your naked upper half.

“Most people get the straight barbells; they find them to be the most comfortable,” V said as he tinkered around with the selection of nipple rings, “Titanium is hypoallergenic so it’s a really good metal choice. If you’re more sensitive to metals I would probably recommend gold but that’s a little more expensive. Any special closures you’re looking for? Star attachments at the end? Moons?”

“Just the basic white gold straight barbells with the star ends,” you muttered quietly. You’d worry about getting more decorative adornments for your nipples when they fully healed from the piercings and you were more accustomed to them. For now, the cute stars at the ends, instead of spherical stoppers, would be enough.

V readied everything on a small table with wheels that he pushed to one side of where you were sitting. As he pulled his gloves on, he said, “I’m going to clean your nipples and then I'll flick them to make sure they are erect enough that I can comfortably clamp them and pierce the needle through them, okay? Let me know if at any moment I am making you feel uncomfortable, sound good?”

You hummed your assent and V finally looked up from his equipment, an alcohol wipe in his hand as he reached forward for your left breast. Before he made contact however, his eyes met yours.

“Y/N?” he yelped in shock, his large gloved fingers brushing against your nipple for the briefest of moments in his shock before he recovered and recoiled from you as though he had been struck.

Your brows furrowed as you confusedly inquired, “Taehyung?”

The two of you stared at each other in shock. The male who was standing in front of you with the Van Gogh-esque vines and branches wrapping their way up his right arm  and covering his throat surely could not be the Kim Taehyung you had grown up with. This could not be your brother Jimin’s childhood best friend. This could not be the former bane of your existence.

“Yes,” breathed Taehyung, still gaping at you with his mouth wide open from behind his mask, not that you could see. You noted that he respectively maintained eye contact with you the entire time, not letting his eyes dip below your gaze. Shrugging on your muted green sweater you glared at him. The second you were covered, Taehyung gazed upwards to the rafters and murmured a not so silent prayer much to your displeasure.

“Y/N why are you getting your– ” Taehyung stopped, obviously struggling with how to word his question while not wanting to talk about his best friend’s younger sister’s nipples. “Why are you getting more piercings?” he said instead with what you thought was highly misplaced affront. “Remember when you almost died because of Yuju in eighth grade?”

Taehyung was so dramatic. You glared at him, crossing your arms over your chest, noting with satisfaction that a red flush was spreading across his golden skin as you held your gaze.

Taehyung had been a junior in high school and the camp counselor assigned to all the cabins in the row yours had been in the same summer Yuju had gone ham with your ears. He had also gotten his ass handed to him when Jimin had found out that instead of making sure the campers were asleep he had been sucking face with Jennie Kim every night.

You scowled, annoyed by how the Taehyung in front of you was a long way away from the gangly nerd with unattractive rectangle framed dad glasses and straight brown hair cut into an unflattering bowl cut that you remembered. Sure, everyone had always talked about how attractive Taehyung had been growing up, but you had never seen it. Taehyung had been a geek who had a penchant for weird outfits with his loose fit/too short culottes, brightly colored oversized crewnecks that were more hole than sweater thanks to his overeager hands when it came to snipping with scissors, and black beat-up converse lows. He had been the furthest thing from what you were into back in the day. However, the man standing in front of you right now? He was almost intimidatingly beautiful. A stunning Adonis, so gorgeous that even Aphrodite had fallen in love.

Taehyung had pulled off his mask and was frowning at you, his petal pink lips pressed thinly together. Your eyes widened when you noticed the glint of silver peeking out between his lips. Taehyung had a piercing on his tongue.

“Are you trying to police my right to have piercings?” you angrily demanded, “You work at a tattoo parlor! You have seven piercings.”

His beautiful dark brows pulled down as his wavy hair swept forward covering one of his eyes again, but he hectically moved his hair away from his face as he looked at you in abrupt alarm, “How could you possibly know that?!”

You froze in confusion, halting your impassioned tirade. Taehyung had seven piercings? You looked at him straight on again, your eyes flitting across his body, scanning him from head to toe. You had known about his five ear piercings. He had gotten them with Jimin when the two of them had still been in high school and you would see Taehyung everyday either at school or your house because of how often he would be over. The only facial piercing he had was his tongue. Where was the seventh? As your gaze drifted down his front, it stopped at his chest. Though you had been thinking about people with only one nipple piercing earlier, you somehow didn’t think Taehyung would be in that crowd. 

Your gaze finally stopped awkwardly at his crotch which was concealed by his black jeans. You stilled at the thought of Taehyung having a piercing on his cock and tried to look away quickly after you came to the realization. 

Unfortunately for you, Taehyung hadn’t planned on making it easy for you. A large veiny hand palmed at his denim covered crotch. “Are you having dirty thoughts about my dick, Y/N?” murmured Taehyung.

“I’m not!” you protested. “I’m just here for my piercing appointment so get on with it, Taehyung! Treat me like one of your usual customers!” 

You grabbed at the bottom of your sweater again and this time, instead of just holding it up above your breasts for Taehyung, you pulled the entire thing off. With your bare chest still heaving, you attempted to straighten your back, meeting Taehyung’s eyes confidently. 

Taehyung held your gaze with heat behind his chocolaty brown eyes for long interminable minutes. A sense of understanding seemed to pass between the two of you before he bit his lips and grated, “Fine, Y/N.”

Taehyung went back to the table where he had been preparing his equipment, making sure that he had gathered everything before pushing it along to stand right next to where you were seated. He sat down on a circular stool with wheels and slid towards you, using his feet to propel him forward.

Sighing once he was in front of you, he squirted hand sanitizer on his purple encased hands to make sure they were still clean, though he hadn’t touched anything other than your jewelry to resterilize them after his panicked realization that you were his client. He slowly and thoroughly rubbed his palms together, working the sanitizer in between his fingers, taking as much time as he could to delay the inevitable and then fanned them to dry. You were mesmerized by the size of his hands. They were so big they could probably cover your boobs with room to spare even though you were a rather busty girl yourself. You whimpered a little as you watched him at work.

Taehyung had heard you making that sound but he tried to ignore it. You were making it hard for him to think straight. He had never once thought that one day his dick would fall for Jimin’s crybaby little sister that he had annoyed at every opportunity he had gotten when he was younger. He had been trying to avoid direct eye contact with your uncovered upper half without much success. Your two voluptuous teardrop breasts seemed to be begging for his attention with their perky upturned nipples, hard due to the cold air drafting into the room. And below your breasts was your tiny waist and heavenly hips. You were shaped like the hourglass filled with black sand that he had for decoration in this room. 

He had already sterilized the white gold bars that you had wanted, and cleaning them a third time would only make you have an angry outburst again he was sure, but now it was time for him to get your nipples ready. He matter-of-factly ripped open an alcohol wipe, unfolding the drenched white sheet within the packet. It was finally time for him to touch you. He didn’t think he had ever been so unnerved in his life. 

Pulling the seat as close to the table that you were on as he comfortably could, he reached out for you. One of his large hands clutched your side, long fingers splayed over your ribs to hold you in place, as his other hand delicately swiped at your nipples with the alcohol wipe. You were frozen like a statue, not even daring to breathe as Taehyung was at work, his face only inches away from your breasts. Too soon, or so you had thought, his hands went away to grab the surgical scrub to further ensure that your nipples were as clean and disinfected as possible before he went to work and actually stabbed your chest to create the piercings. 

You sighed as his hands returned to your chest again. Taehyung had moved on from cleaning your skin to etching them with a marker to indicate where your piercings would be. He cupped the underside of one of your breasts with his left hand while his right hand carefully drew blue dots on either side of your nipples that were parallel to each other. He then switched over to your other breast and drew on the dots to replicate what he had marked before as symmetrically as possible. 

The scratchiness of the pen tip hardened your nipples even more than they had been and wetness pooled in between your pressed thighs. When he was done his palm was flat against your abdomen, pushing you back, “You’ll want to lie down Y/N just to be cautious. Some people get their piercings done sitting but there is the possibility that you’ll faint so I just want everything to be safe for you.”

As you laid back to rest on top of the butcher paper covering the cool leather of the table, you panicked. Taehyung was really going to do this. He was treating you like a paying customer, which you were, but you found yourself wishing that he wasn’t acting so professionally and had tried harder to dissuade you from getting these piercings, especially since you were having second thoughts about this. 

He finally returned to face you again, holding a steel contraption that looked like scissors but the ends were flat with little holes. He had his fingers threaded through the clamps he was going to use to hold your nipple as he pricked through it with a long sterilized needle. 

Taehyung sighed, “I’m going to have to flick and touch your nipples a lot. I’m sure you’re aware of that already but it might take a little more finagling than you thought. It might not be a one and done process where the clamps are perfectly on on the first try. Just, tell me if it’s too much or I’m making you uncomfortable and I’ll immediately back off. Okay, Y/N?”

You nodded mutely. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. What if you threw up all over Taehyung the second you opened your mouth?

Taehyung held your right nipple in between his forefinger and thumb, gauging its firmness before determining that it wasn’t erect enough. He flicked it with his finger, and you had to stifle your reaction, the hardness of his nail bed, even through the latex glove, catching you by surprise. Finally, he was ready to use the clamps.

You breathed through your mouth as the metal clamps pinched your delicate mauve areola to hold the bud of your nipple in place. Leaving the equipment dangling from the edge of your breast, Taehyung turned back around to grab the needle he had prepared. 

While Taehyung had been focused on the next step, you had managed to further your panicked state and were almost hyperventilating. Your lips were pressed tightly together and your hands had furled themselves into clenched fists that had your fingers digging into the thin white butcher paper beneath you, ripping it as your nails dug tiny indentations into the smooth leather underneath. 

Before Taehyung went ahead with the first of your piercings, he glanced at your face, like he did with all his clients to make sure that everything was still going smoothly. What he found had him putting the needle down again. Your face was white with fear and your eyes were filled with liquid. 

“Hey,” murmured Taehyung softly, his gloved hand cupping your cheek. “What’s up Y/N? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“No!” you protested fiercely.

“Miss Park Y/N,” teased Taehyung, striving to adopt a lighthearted tone, “Come on, is it just nerves? You can tell me. If I know what’s wrong then I can help you fix it. Do you not wanna get these done today?”

You sighed, “Taehyung, it’s just. I don’t know. Why am I even doing this?”

“Hmm,” hummed Taehyung, steepling his fingers, his warm brown eyes glancing at you comfortingly, “A very good question. Why are you doing this? We don’t want you getting a piercing for the wrong reasons. What is it? Have you been down in the dumps and need some change? Well maybe it’ll help you but maybe it won’t and then you’ll end up with far more piercings than you ever thought you would.”

“Is that what happened with you?” you whispered. Now that Taehyung wasn’t actively working on getting your piercings done, you had covered your chest again with your hands cupping your breasts.

“Not exactly,” admitted Taehyung, “Maybe at first when I was getting the piercings with Jimin, but later on as I got more serious about art and creating, it became a way for me to express myself to the world. A way to solidify my character and what I wanted to be known for and associated with. I really had fun once I started adding the tattoos in,” he laughed huskily. His cheeks came with his boxy wide spread grin. You had missed Taehyung. Though granted, he had been annoying for much of your childhood, you’d had a lot of fun with him. You adored Taehyung, you realized belatedly. Though perhaps realizing it while you were topless was not the best time for your epiphany, you thought as blush took over you, blood rushing to the surface of your skin, painting your cheeks, ears, and chest a muted red.

“Will you tell me where the seventh piercing is?” you asked softly, pushing yourself up. 

Taehyung stared at you, his gaze going in between your face and your uncovered form, its heat was infectious and made your own skin flush even further in its wake.

“Perhaps,” he agreed, “Although, you’ll have to tell me what pulled you into this studio today, first.”

You pouted, “It’s really dumb.”

“This is a safe place,” Taehyung smirked winningly. He repeatedly raised and lowered his thick, impeccably groomed eyebrows mischievously, “I won’t judge you, Y/N.”

“Yes, you will,” you groaned.

“Yes, I will,” admitted Taehyung easily, the ghost of a smile still painting his lips. “But you’ll tell me anyway, won’t you?”

“Donghyuk broke up with me,” you grumbled, “We were supposed to get married.”

Taehyung blinked, he vaguely remembered a baby faced male that was slightly taller than him with a mushroom cap haircut. He scoffed, “The audacity of some people. You were so far out of his league, it’s insulting that you weren’t the one to end things.”

You smiled weakly at Taehyung’s attempt to cheer you up. “It made my mind go all over the place. I don’t know. Maybe he wasn’t wrong. Maybe I am unadventurous and boring. Maybe I am vanilla.”

“What’s wrong with vanilla?” complained Taehyung, throwing his hands up. His outcry of displeasure loud and clear.

You snorted, your gaze focusing on the length of his fluttering fingers for far too long, “Let’s not pretend you’re not one freaky mofo, Taehyung. But I don’t know, I just wanted to live a little.”

“So?” retorted Taehyung mulishly, “I am a man of diverse tastes. I can appreciate both vanilla and some of the more– experimental stuff.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “I wanted to get nipple piercings, they're adventurous right? And it’s not because I think that if I do this he’ll get back together with me. But maybe he’s the one who kept me trapped and complacent. Maybe he’s the reason I’m not bold. I just wanted to try something new.”

Taehyung scoffed, “You didn’t have to go to such drastic and permanent measures. You can barely handle the nipple clamp. You would’ve cried and complained the entire month that you had to wait for your nipples to heal. You forget that, I know you. Oh Y/N,” Taehyung suddenly recalled, “You can’t do sexy stuff with your nipples while they heal so how exactly would that have helped you during your kinky adventures?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “You don’t know me that well!”

“No?”

“I’m gonna lose my deposit,” you griped. “This is the worst day of my life.”

“You are so dramatic Y/N,” Taehyung replied, “How can this be the worst day of your life?!” he demanded, “What about the day Donghyun broke up with you and pushed you head first through the five stages of grief?”

“Donghyuk,” you corrected. Taehyung made a face at you, contorting his handsome visage into something that made you let out a loud laugh, visibly showing he did not give one fuck about what your former boyfriend’s name was.

“It’s not a complete loss, Y/N,” Taehyung murmured. 

“Why do you say that?” you asked. 

Taehyung placed those devilishly sexy and large hands on your waist pulling you closer to the edge of the table to where he was seated besides you. You gasped at how his grasp almost entirely circled your waist until his widespread fingers were millimeters away from meeting each other. “Ever had sex with the owner of a tattoo parlor?” he breathed, his deep voice purposefully gravelly and husky. 

“No,” you murmured, hardly daring to believe that Taehyung returned your affections. The long buried feelings from your secret crush on Taehyung all those years ago, erupting once again in your heart.

“You don’t need to get piercings to make it fun, Y/N,” Taehyung tantalized.

“You’ll tell me about the seventh piercing?” you confirmed.

Taehyung barked out a laugh. “I’ll do you one better,” he murmured, “I’ll show you where it is.” He finished off with a rakish wink.

“Can I kiss you?” you asked, hands already moving forward to cup his chiseled cheeks and jaw within their grasp.

“Hold on one second,” Taehyung chuckled, peering at you playfully as he looked up at you from where his face was in between your palms. “I gotta do one thing first.”

Taehyung went to remove the metal clamps from your poor neglected nipple that had gone slightly numb from being within its confines this entire time. “My poor Y/N,” Taehyung softened his tone as he rubbed your breast to bring back the feeling. “I’m sorry for not doing this earlier.”

He ducked his head, his plush lips wrapping around the abused peak as he soothed it with warm wet licks and light suction. You let out a high pitched sound and then choked when the cool metal ball on his tongue slinked against your sore nipple as he twirled his tongue around the flesh. He was uncharacteristically gentle though he was spitting against your breast and spreading the welcome coolness around the hard peak.

You let your hands go up to his head, fingers raking themselves into silky soft black waves, holding him into place while he worshiped your chest. Soon, Taehyung switched over to the other breast, enveloping it in the warm wet heat of his mouth, as well. He was much rougher this time as he didn’t have to be careful. His teeth grazed the hard bud, nipping the nipple lightly as you found yourself letting out endless keens.

“Fuck,” muttered Taehyung finally pulling himself away, “How are you this sensitive and responsive? You would’ve had such a rough time with the aftercare if you had gone through with this.”

You shook your head, ignoring his question. “Taehyung!” you whined instead, “I need you.”

Taehyung scoffed lightly as a pleased smirk marked his lips. He ripped the purple gloves off, flinging them onto the side table. 

“Will you let me eat you out, Y/N?” he asked. “I’ve been dreaming of it ever since I saw those snaps on your private story for your 21st birthday.”

Your brows furrowed. For your birthday your friends and you had gone down to Cabo since it was close to spring break. You hadn’t even realized Taehyung was on your private story. Your brother Jimin certainly wasn’t. You had posted everything from videos of you skinny dipping with your friends in the hot tub, to full length mirror selfies of every itty bitty neon colored bikini you had worn on the trip. 

“I’ve had fantasies about you too,” you admitted as Taehyung’s hands slid down your waist to hug your hips, fingers digging into your charcoal gray leggings, ready to pull them off. 

He looked at you curiously, “Since when? Was I your sexual awakening?” he teased, his cheeks full in his joy. You wanted to bite those bread cheeks but you controlled the impulse.

“Hardly,” you retorted, “I was dreaming about Min Yoongi before I ever thought of you. But he graduated and went away for university. And you had that wavy silver brown hair. You looked so hot in your old school hiphop outfit you’d worn for Halloween senior year.”

Taehyung narrowed his eyes, “I was always hot, Y/N. It’s cute of you to deny it. But wow headbands really do it for you huh? Is that why you ran up to your room when we started watching It? I thought it was because you were scared. Had I known that you were sneaking away to shove your hand in your panties–” he trailed off.

“You would have what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Taehyung hit your hip lightly with his fingers, more tap than slap, making you lift your bottom so that he could drag the dark colored athletic fabric down your legs. 

“Why don’t I show you?” Taehyung said. 

With your leggings down to one of your ankles, completely off of the other, Taehyung took a hold of your thighs, swinging your legs around so they hung over the side of the platform you were seated on. You were facing him now, but he was so tall that even with the small boost your seat offered, you were eye level with him. He slid back the stool he was on, moving it out of the way. Then he sank to his knees so that his head was at the perfect height for the treasure that laid between your slightly parted thighs. 

With his left hand still grasping one of your thighs, he used his other hand to prod at your folds over the drenched fabric of your black seamless panties. His forefinger and middle finger stroked at your opening, hunting for your clit, slipping over the sodden fabric over and over. When you were so wet that his fingers went away, picking up enough evidence of your arousal that a transparent string clung to him before finally breaking off, Taehyung decided to move the panty off to the side, revealing the swollen dripping folds of your cunt to him. 

“You’re so pretty, gorgeous,” he sighed, “I want to feast on you.”

His fingers were curiously spreading you even more, parting the furling petals to your entrance, revealing the pretty wet hole to his hot seeking gaze as it desperately clenched around air, wanting something bigger and more substantial to close around.

“Taehyung please,” you pleaded, your fingers knotting into his unruly hair, as you attempted to move his head closer to your cunt.

Taehyung dipped down, his lips pursed at first, almost like he was kissing you down there, but he soon found his pace, tongue wildly thrusting into the hole and gliding over the folds. As he lapped at your entrance, he hummed in pleasure, rejoicing in the sweet poignant taste of you. 

As his tongue ran over your folds and the engorged bud of your clit, you shuddered and trembled. It had been so long since someone had eaten you out. You had been broken up with Donghyuk for two months, but it had been even longer since the last time he had gone down on you. 

He tongued at you curling the tip of his wet muscle to urge more of your juices into his open mouth. You tasted like heaven, “You’re so fucking sweet,” he furiously growled into you, his baritone sending vibrations through your most sensitive part. “I love your reactions. I could eat you out for hours,” he hissed.

When his teeth nipped at the sensitive bundle of nerves, you cried out his name, babbling senselessly, mad with pleasure. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking tightly at the bud. Your eyes rolled back at the pressure, the stimulation almost unbearable. You felt the prodding of two long fingers invading your entrance even as his lips continued its merciless assault on the swollen bud. 

“Taehyung!” you panted. Your fingers were almost digging into his scalp. “I can’t stand this!!”

Your back arched as he scissored his fingers furiously within you. His teeth and tongue were sloppily pursuing their war on your heated and engorged clit.

“That’s it Y/N,” murmured Taehyung huskily, “Give yourself to me.”

His fingers reached deep within you, dragging against your folds that gripped around it like a vise, clenching and unclenching in stuttered movements. He groaned at the tightness, the vibrations of the sound echoing through your opening, your clit fluttering at the stimulus.

“Another finger,” you susurrated, your words chased by loud keens and moans.

“Yeah?” Taehyung breathed out, “You think you can take that? I can barely even move the two I have in you now. Your pussy is clenching around me so much.”

“Want it Tae. Need it,” you babbled, “Need to prep for that big cock you’re hiding.”

Taehyung exhaled loudly through his nose, the gust of air falling over your oversensitized core. “Yeah, you dirty girl? You wanna prep for my fat cock? You need it,” he admitted. “I’m gonna destroy your tight little cunt,” He growled.

With another nip of your clit, this one harsher and more toothy, he stuffed a third finger in you, frantically pumping them and curling them to drag against the taunt muscles of your inner walls. The appendages were stretching you out gloriously. You closed your eyes as you edged head first towards your orgasm. Taehyung’s tongue danced over your folds, stimulating them even further. 

He breathed through his nose as he ate you out even more enthusiastically; he had been going at this for a long time but it would be worth it. His cock was a hard and heavy weight against the confines of his constricting dark jeans. You whimpered, lightheaded and overheated as the pressure at your core continued to build. You were stuffed to the brim with his nimble slender fingers pushing savagely in you. 

All it took was a swipe of his long tongue over your bud, the metal sphere of his piercing a hard heaviness digging into your clit, as his fingers found your g-spot and hit it brutally, and you let out a shrill scream, immediately gushing like a flooding waterfall. There were black dots in your vision as the edges of your eyes gathered with tears. You panted as you continued to squirt over Taehyung’s trapped fingers, drenching his hand with the evidence of your orgasm then trailing down his wrist. 

“Fuck,” swore Taehyung, “You fucking squirted. That’s so hot, gorgeous.”

He reluctantly moved his hand away from you, licking a wide stripe across his palm, tasting your sweetness, still not tired of your delectable release. What he didn’t consume, he wiped against the butcher paper covering where you were seated. You had your hands splayed besides your thighs, needing help to keep yourself upright. Your gaze drifted down to your crotch where the paper was sopping wet, dark, and translucent from where you had squirted all over it. 

This was why you never had sex in public; you were already getting a headache at the thought of Taehyung having to clean up and sanitize everything before his next appointment.

“Hey what’s wrong?” asked Taehyung, getting up from his knees. His hand went to his belt, unbuckling the black leather and loosening it around his hips. He undid his button and zipped open his fly, finally freeing his aching hard cock from the confines it had been resisting against.

You stared at his erection, pressing against the band of his underwear. “Is this really okay?” you asked.

“Going soft on me so fast?” Taehyung teased, “Thought you were gonna prove to Dongkyung that you were fun and freaky. I bet he’s never had sex outside of the bedroom.”

“No,” you protested, “I still want to. I just– I just wanted to make sure you were still okay with this.”

“Oh,” murmured Taehyung with a ravenous glint in his eyes, “I’m thrilled about this. I want to destroy you in a way that has you limping after. I want your pussy to have PDD, never wanting another cock.”

“PDD?” you asked, repeating the acronym with confusion heavy in your tone.

“Post-Dicking Depression,” Taehyung clarified with a faux condescending tone. You could hear the laughter in his voice that he tried to keep in.

“I don’t know if I want to have sex with a man who refers to it as me getting dicked down,” you scoffed, wiggling your butt backwards to move away from Taehyung who scowled and quickly moved his hands from his pants to your hips, holding you in place.

“But you want a dicking from me,” he sing-sang, “You used to have fantasies about me.”

“I used to have fantasies about Flynn Rider, that means nothing,” you retorted, your hands placed over his.

He narrowed his eyes, “That says less about me and more about you, gorgeous.”

He palmed his heavy cock through the cotton fabric of his briefs. 

“You sure you wanna stop right here, Y/N? Don’t wanna go for another orgasm?”

“I can’t leave you hanging,” you acquiesced easily, “Golden rule of reciprocation and all that.”

“You don’t always have to give back what you get in sex,” Taehyung frowned, “It’s not a business transaction, it’s a group effort. As long as we both enjoy ourselves, you don’t have to worry about me, Y/N.”

“You don’t want to have me?” you asked, suddenly self-conscious, “You seemed really enthusiastic about it earlier.”

“I’m dying to have you, but I only want you if you want me,” Taehyung clarified, his baritone wafting into your ears soothingly.

You smiled up at him, even though you were naked in this room that might have his assistant or coworkers knocking at any moment, even though he was completely dressed while you were not, you still felt comfortable with Taehyung. You put your fingers through the belt loops of his partially opened jeans, dragging it down his hips, over his ass, stopping midway on his thighs. Taehyung watched you, his jaw clenched and his eyes hard with the heat of his lust, thick dark brows furrowed as he bit his lips.

“Please, Tae?” you asked, “I want you. I want the heavy fucking that has me walking side to side afterwards.”

Taehyung snorted, “‘4.5 when I make the bed shake,’ huh.”

“Ariana is a legend,” you gasped, outraged at his little quip, your hands falling from where they had been clutching his ass. 

Taehyung just gave you one of his gorgeous boxy smiles that left you breathless before he went to free his fat cock from the cotton confines of his underwear. His cock bounced once it was free from its bounds, his length even more thick and imposing than you had imagined when you were sixteen, slipping your fingers down your throat and choking on them, pretending they were his dick instead. 

It was impressively girthy and you knew your fingers wouldn’t be able to wrap around it and touch at the ends. The mushroom head was flushed burgundy. The seventh piercing winked at you, a curved steel barbell turned towards you as a part of his king’s crown piercing that was threaded through his head, running along the ridge of his shaft. Your mouth watered - the tip of his cock was glistening with precum and you wanted to whirl your tongue around its bulbous head like it was the tastiest lollipop. 

“Taehyung,” you pleaded, your fingers going towards his crotch. 

Taehyung gently slapped your hands away. 

“Uh uh,” he chastised. “Behave, gorgeous.”

You spread your thighs apart, knees up and feet flat in front of you as you sat up with your hands wrapped around your calves, holding your legs open. Taehyung took hold of the meaty softness of your right thigh and pulled you towards him, settling in between you, his cock bouncing lightly, the tip brushing against your entrance as he used his hands to pull your legs around him. Your hands let go and fell backwards and you splayed your fingers and palms behind you to balance your weight as Taehyung carefully situated your lower half, pulling your hips up to be aligned with his so that he could easily slip in and out of you.

He slapped your flushed and swollen cunt with his cock, the proof of your orgasm mixing with his precum. After a few slaps, he finally began to guide his shaft into you. For a moment there you didn’t think the fat bulbous head would be able to breach your entrance even with how wet you were as your tight glistening hole protested around it, but a firm push later he was sheathed. 

“You like that, gorgeous?” he growled, “You feel that? You’re gonna wring me dry when I cum inside, aren’t you? Gonna creampie this fucking pussy. Have your beat up cunt leaking my cum for hours.”

You whimpered as your mouth sought Taehyung’s lips but couldn’t. Instead you found your tongue licking up a line up the bare expanse of his neck, tracing the lines of his tattoos, your lips following their path, leaving bruising kisses and kittenish bites. He moaned and his head ducked down, moving his throat away from you so that you could finally kiss him. At first your tongues twirled around each other, but Taehyung was a messy kisser. His teeth were soon nipping at your lips and his tongue was thrusting in your mouth, licking the insides of your cheeks, the roof of your mouth, not letting you pull away to breath and leaving you lightheaded. 

Taehyung slowly pushed himself in and out, not going more than an inch or two within you, giving you time to get used to the fullness. He was so thick, your walls were clamping around his girthy length like a vise and he was struggling to move, but the movement he was able to make had you keening and whimpering as the round ends of his piercing jewelry dragged against the ridged muscles of your walls, making them spasm uncontrollably at the feeling. 

As you grew wetter and wetter, your desperation increasing exponentially, Taehyung found himself getting lost at the sensations, thrusting faster and more erratically until his control was so frayed that he could no longer hold himself back. He slammed into you, the thick heaviness of his cock stealing your breath away as he was impaled within you. You tried to catch your breath but he continued to jerk inside you, the piercing hitting your g-spot and making you scream as white spots appeared in your vision. 

His pace then grew progressively more frantic and Taehyung found himself holding you up with his sheer strength which left you breathless at the display of power; you were no longer on the table, he was fucking you standing up. Your legs were wrapped around his hips and your head was at the side of his face, pressing kisses against his jaw and nibbling up to his ear. Your moans were an echoing throaty vocalization in his ears, making them burn as a pool of lust gathered in his gut and made his abdomen tighten. Meanwhile, your hands were flitting across the expanse of his back, under his shirt, leaving long scratch marks in their wake as your nails dug into his skin every time Taehyung thrusted a little too hard, his fingers pinched your clit, or his piercing found that glorious g-spot.

“God, Tae,” you panted. You could feel him so deep inside you that as you glanced down you saw that your tummy was bulging a little bit and you had to wonder if it was because of him. You pressed down on your stomach experimentally and then you both gasped as your walls clenched tightly around him, rhythmically pulsating around the entire length of his shaft, keeping him connected to you. 

Taehyung hadn’t forgotten your tiny clit, although it was swollen and not as little now. He thumbed at the responsive bundle of nerves; the pressure from his finger had you on overdrive, hyper aware and feeling like you might go ballistic at any moment. Your mewls were like music to his ears and propelled him forward, making him plunge into you so violently. You were bouncing on his length, your legs loosening slightly around his hips from the force that came with every time he rammed into you.

For your safety, he lowered you down to the table you had been sitting on earlier, making your back flat against it as he had one hand by your head holding him up, keeping himself from crashing into you, and one hand wrapped around your hip, snapping it up to meet his every thrust. The new angle allowed him to go even deeper and he found himself slowing down to enjoy the feeling of your folds fluttering around his shaft as he dragged it through your walls deliberately, penetrating you acutely. 

He was holding himself back, he didn’t want this moment to end but at your surprised cry when one of those thrusts hit your g-spot particularly hard, you suddenly gushed like a broken faucet around him, and then clenched his cock tighter than you had ever before, even as the stream of cum cascaded all around his shaft. He grunted before following you in your wake, the heat of his own release leaking out of his tip and mixing with yours. 

Somehow Taehyung was still hard around you, you noticed with surprise as your legs fell with no strength left in them, no longer making your body cling to Taehyung’s. You stared at him in confusion, your eyes wordlessly saying, What now?

Taehyung licked his lips, his familiar grin appearing sheepishly. “Ride me, gorgeous,” he dictated.

He hadn’t let you remove his cock from inside your pussy and he picked you up, holding you beneath your thighs, his fingers brushing against the cleft of your ass as he moved you two around so that he was now seated with you on top of him. 

One of your hands fluttered against his chest as you got used to sitting on him, the other was holding onto his shoulder. You inhaled deeply, your hands going up to stop his head from moving so that you could kiss him punishingly, neither of you parting to breath for long interminable moments. His fingers threaded through your hair that had long since fallen out of its bun, holding you in place, so that his lips could chase yours easily every time you tried to break apart from him.

He helped you with the first move, his hands gripping your hips and his long fingers dimpling into your skin as he moved you up, almost entirely off his cock that dragged enticingly along your folds as it slipped away, before slamming you back on his lap with enough force to have your teeth knocking against each other. 

You braced yourself with your palms on his chest, fingers curving over the broad length of his shoulders, slowly lifting yourself away from his dick before quickly and forcefully bringing your ass down, reluctant to let him withdraw completely. Each time you brought yourself back onto his cock, Taehyung snapped his hips up, impaling you with his thick impressive length. His fingers were bruising into your hips with how hard he was holding you in place. 

Your movements were erratic and feverish, following no rhyme or reason, only seeking fullness and release. He had you writhing on top of him wantonly as your hips swiveled to meet each snap of his, until his cock was hitting you again and again vigorously. But it wasn’t enough; he wanted to give you more. So Taehyung found himself squeezing two fingers into you alongside his cock, filling you even more than you had thought was possible, bordering on the side of painful. His palm was positioned up so that it was pressed against your clit. And with every bounce and jerk on top of him that had his cock and fingers moving deeper within you, his palm pressed against your puffy bud stimulating you endlessly. 

You screamed as you sprayed around Taehyung, coming again. As you writhed against Taehyung’s body, his arms kept you wrapped in his embrace, keeping you from injuring yourself, pulling any muscles accidentally. Your cunt was reluctant to release its grip on Taehyung’s cock, holding onto him tightly, and he found himself grabbing your hand, borrowing it for a second to have you squeeze his balls. And then Taehyung felt himself cum for the second time that day. He shuddered into your chest as his balls emptied themselves, getting lighter as streams of his warm cum shot into you, painting your insides with lines of white. 

You mewled at the feeling, wiggling on top of Taehyung in discomfort. He chuckled huskily, an airy yet throaty sound. Carefully, he withdrew from you, using one of his hands to keep the cum from pouring out from between your legs, his palm against your entrance keeping the hot liquid trapped inside you. After a moment he moved his palm away so that his fingers could play around in your folds, pushing the cum into every divot and crevice, the pads of his fingers massaging it in and then his fingers went back inside you, swirling the cum around your hole with his fingers messily. You let him play around, rubbing his mark into you even though it was fucking filthy and gross, but when his fingers brushed too close to your battered clit, your inner thighs spasmed with your muscles jumping, you found your hand frantically pulling at his wrists attempting to pull him away from your exhausted and overworked pussy.

“Taehyung, stop!” you whined. 

He glanced back at you sheepishly. “Sorry,” he murmured, an apologetic tone painting his words, “I got distracted.”

You snorted, “Yeah, you did.”

Taehyung pulled you off his lap and sat you down beside him, from in between your parted thighs, your pussy leaked out the mixture of both of your cum out onto the ripped and mangled butcher paper that looked as though it had gone through the wringer. Taehyung stood up to grab a bundle of paper towels from his work station and came back with them, bending down in front of you and starting to clean you up. Once he was done, he looked back up at you.

“I’ll give you back your deposit, Y/N. Don’t get the piercings today, okay?” he said, “And when you finally feel like you’re ready to modify your body for the right reasons, you can come back here and I’ll do it for free. A piercing, a tattoo, whatever the case. Just– just don’t think you have to change for a man. You are perfect as long as you like who you are.”

Your eyebrows dipped down in confusion as Taehyung stumbled over his words, painstakingly attempting to make sure that you understood him and realized that he liked you and you should like yourself too because you were perfect and no man was worthy enough to make you change. 

“Why for free, Taehyung?” you asked instead, uncomfortable at his sincerity.

Taehyung smiled nervously, “Well if you’re dating the owner, it’s the least I can do. Don’t you think so?”

“Who says we’re dating?” you teased, pulling him closer to you, making him stand between your legs.

Taehyung pouted and then huffily said, “Fine, have it your way. See if anyone in the Tri-State area takes you as a client then. I’m getting you blacklisted from everywhere so Jimin doesn’t kill me when he finds out you want to look like Post Malone.”

“Post Malone?” you questioned, laughing uncontrollably. “Taehyung, why would you offer to help me if Jimin would kill you instead of those other tattoo artists?”

“Girlfriends hold more weight than best friends,” he said mulishly, slumping forward and resting his forehead against your sternum.

“Yeah?” you asked, quilting your fingers through his hair, scratching at his head comfortingly.

“I’m also in love with you,” Taehyung confessed, turning his head so his ear rested against your chest. He could hear your heartbeat, you realized with a panic, and how it stuttered at his reveal. But his arms had slowly wrapped themselves around your form and you couldn’t find it within you to push him away.

“Really?” you asked needily, needing the confirmation.

He hummed, “I would do anything for you.”

“I think I’ve been in love with you too,” you admitted as well. You suddenly shoved against him. “It was you,” you accused.

“Hmm,” muttered Taehyung, instantly knowing what you had meant, “I can’t help it if I’m beautiful and you kept fantasizing about me while dating Dongbyun.”

“Tae!”

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution - Non Commercial - No Derivatives 4.0 International License

©OPALJM 2021

[starshapedkookie]

Live Through This | 2

→ why do i run back to you like i don't mind if you fuck up my life?

PLEASE read part 1, none of this will make sense without it!

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: ex-lovers to frenemies to lovers (?), band au, punk au, angst, smut, fluffiness

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and drug use, mentions of death, smut😳 (protected sex, hate sex 🔥 turned into 😩🥺 sex, choking, biting, oral sex female receiving, orgasm denial(?), mentions of therapy but yay! oc & jk getting their sh-t together! this is kind of lazily edited so sorry

premise: A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldn’t have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you can’t get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you weren’t sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.

word count: 24,000 (roughly)

spotify playlist - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6U3lm7y9hCgpw1bzc6r5qu?si=65cc5fd78a224189

happy new year! & welcome back to my semi-annual fic posting lmao. i hope you all enjoy the end to this story that i love so much. come chat to me about anything once you're finished reading💜

_____

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” The words seethe from your mouth and into the phone.

“Possibly,” Yoongi responds calmly. You could see him right now—laid back in his bed or a chair, looking at his nails aimlessly, maybe even lighting a cigarette up. Acting as if what he was asking was an everyday question with no repercussions.

“Min Yoongi I c-can—not believe the goddamn audacity of you right now,” you stutter some of your words, disbelief flowing through your veins. You’re trying to keep as quiet as possible since Jimin, Hobi, and Lisa all reside in your designated practice room down the hall. Not only was Yoongi interrupting practice for you on your time, he was doing it to ask you this?!

“Y/N I know it sounds—“

“Crazy?” You answer for him, “Yes it’s fucking insane… Asking me to fill in lead guitar for your band?! Excuse me?!”

“Technically Jungkook’s and Tae’s band,” he says nonchalantly.

“Because that makes it any better?” You fight back.

“Y/N, listen to me,” Yoongi sounds much more determined, his voice stern and heavy, “I know how much Violet means to you—how much you cherish it. I know you want a record deal more than anyone I know, including myself, but how would you feel if everything you’ve built up with your band came crashing down over a stupid drunken mistake, huh? I know you would be just as desperate to find someone to fill in and you know that I would do the same—hell, Jungkook would absolutely do the same for you if it came down to it and you fucking know it.”

You frown, huffing into the phone, “It’s not my fault Namjoon did what he did.”

“Jesus fuck Y/N you’re missing the point,” he says now seemingly frustrated at your responses that are clearly not what he wants to hear.

“How do you think my band would feel then Yoongi?… Huh? Filling in for my ex that cheated on me’s band?”

“Please Y/N, everyone knows you and Jungkook are still fucking in love,” he says, “And it’s not my fault you went and cheated on Jungkook with Jimin making this decision hard for you.”

Your mouth falls agape, “Fuck you Yoongi—we’ve moved past that!”

“Clearly,” sarcasm evident, “If you won’t do this for Jungkook, at least do it for me. Pretend he’s not even there.”

You furrow your brows, chewing on your lips, “Because that’s easy?” you say obviously.

“Y/N will you at least sleep on it,” he sighs heavily, “We’re desperate and I think you owe Jungkook one.”

“I don’t owe him anything?” you retort.

“Mm,” he mumbles.

“You’re actually ridiculous Yoongi,” you sigh heavily, and you know you might regret your next words later on but Yoongi was right. You owed Jungkook for being a pain in the ass. And he would absolutely fill in for Jimin if you asked him. Shit.

“Fine,” you huff, “I’ll sleep on it.”

You can hear the sigh of relief Yoongi gets out, a small smile definitely spreading across his lips, “You’re the fucking best Y/N.”

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll call you back tomorrow all right?”

Before you can answer, there’s a small knocking at the door you’re sat behind. Jimin walks in promptly, his eyes finding yours instantly, noticing you’re still on the phone.

“Okay, sounds good.”

You hang up before he can respond, turning your attention fully to Jimin.

“Everything okay?” He asks, “You’ve been gone awhile… wanted to check in—“

“Yeah yeah everything’s fine, thanks Chim,” you give him a small smile to which he returns. You knew if you ended up helping Whailen, Jimin would take it the hardest. You’re not even sure he would speak to you again. Hooking up with him had to be the worst decision you ever made. Not only had it made things uncomfortable for you two for so long—just recently going back to your “normal”—Jimin loathed Jungkook. He had never been a huge fan of him even when you two started dating, always seeing him as too immature for yourself. If anything, Jimin always wanted the best for you and your ambitions. He didn’t think Jungkook fit into that mold and that’s where you two differed the most. Jungkook was in your life at least for the near future and he couldn’t stand that. You could only hope that he wouldn’t be mad at you but knowing how sensitive and protective Jimin was over you—it was an inevitable downfall you would have to prepare for.

_____

“Jesus Christ,” Namjoon’s eyes look you up and down as he walks into their practice studio, Jungkook and Taehyung in tow close behind him.

“She said yes?” Taehyung’s mouth drops open as he notices your frame, sitting against the very couch you sat with Jungkook on a couple weeks back. Yoongi sat to your right and Jungkook had yet to look at you. He keeps his gaze busy unsure what to say. Jin soon walks in after the three of them, his eyes wide when he spots you.

“Holy fuck,” he exasperates, “She actually showed up?”

“No guys it’s a clone,” you finally speak up, annoyance clear across your tone, “I’m right here you know, a hello or something would be nice for this huge favor.”

“Please don’t act like this isn’t a privilege sweetheart,” Namjoon mocks as he sits down on a couch opposite of you and Yoongi.

You give him a small smile, “I’m glad you recognize it is a privilege for you guys to have me here,” you throw his words back at him. You don’t know what you did to get attitude from Kim Namjoon of all people, but you hoped he would kindly shut the fuck up.

“Come on hyung cool it,” Jungkook finally speaks up from where he stands near the equipment, setting up a few parts to the drum kit.

“Whatever,” Namjoon mutters, looking down at his phone diverting his attention elsewhere.

“Y/N we really couldn’t thank you enough for this,” Taehyung kindly speaks to you. His light brown hair is hidden under a cap, but he’s as handsome as ever.

“I’m here with conditions you know,” you say to him to which is eyes then turn to Yoongi, seeming confused. You glower over at Yoongi, “You didn’t tell them did you?”

He shrugs, “I was waiting for the right moment.”

“Conditions like what?” Jin says sat near his bass.

You fix you your posture, noticing Jungkook peeking your way every so often. You hadn’t spoken to him since your talk and love profession two weeks ago, so you were out of the loop of what he had been up to since then.

“I get to choose one song for you guys,” you say confidently.

“What the fuck—“

“Absolutely not—“

Namjoon and Jin groan in unison. Taehyung looks a little annoyed from this demand. Jungkook’s face is straight and unreadable. Yoongi is smirking beside you. He loved you coming in here demanding things—it added some spice and the boys definitely weren’t expecting it.

Taehyung takes a moment to himself, thinking about it before saying, “Fine. If I can sing it, fine. Anything else?”

“My name goes on your roster as lead, Jungkook’s name goes on drums,” It was only fair in your eyes.

“You’re fucking kidding,” Namjoon’s dark eyes look towards you, “You’re Krist Vedder’s daughter, do you really need anymore fucking attention? I’m the drummer of the band, my name deserves to be there—”

“Hyung do you ever shut up?” Jungkook’s voice raises from where he sits behind the drums now, his eyes finding yours across the room. “This is your fault we’re in this position, be fucking grateful Y/N is a damn good guitar player and willing to help us.”

“Defending your ex fucking girlfriend over me dude? That’s low,” he seethes.

You weren’t expecting Jungkook to defend you in that manner but you it makes your heart flutter, hands a little less shaky. You send him a small smile in return before Taehyung turns to Namjoon frustratingly.

“Hyung how about you sit this practice out?” Taehyung says to him.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, “Fine,” he stands up, “Have fun everyone.”

You watch as he leaves the practice room, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Someone’s cheerful,” Yoongi remarks, standing up beside you.

“He’s been such an asshole lately,” Taehyung groans, “Y/N ready to practice some?” He turns to you changing the subject quickly.

You nod, feeling somewhat nervous. This wasn’t your band therefore you were not in your element. You and Jungkook had played guitar together many of times, but this was completely uncharted territory. Mind that you still had yet to tell your band you were doing this. All you knew is that by the end of this, your hands you were going to be tired and rough from calluses working double overtime on your beloved Fender. You only hoped that this wasn’t a decision you weren’t going to regret this time next week. After all, your dad told you to make the right choices—weren’t you?

“If you put a capo on it would sound better,” you point out. Your eyes follow the way down the neck of Jungkook’s acoustic guitar, up his chest, his neck, and finally his eyes.

He scowls, ignoring your suggestion as he continues to strum the chords to Muse’s Time is Running Out. He knows it would sound better adding a capo, but he hated proving you right. He hums the words, making you feel drowsier as the minutes pass.

You two are sat on the small outdoor couch Jungkook and Taehyung had on their small porch of the apartment. It overlooked the bustling city of Seoul. It was your favorite view. You were saddened that they decided against renewing their lease, instead moving to separate apartments in a few months. You supposed being glued to the hip since their early teens, Jungkook and Taehyung were realizing they needed to spend time away from each other. It would be better for their band and personal relationship in the long run.

You nudge Jungkook’s side with your foot and he jerks against it, a small smile peaking through his lips. You do it again and again, trying to get a reaction from him.

“Quit,” he grabs your ankle with a laugh, looking down and over at you. You’re laid on your back in one of his flannels lazily buttoned, legs straight and feet propped on his knees. You’re his favorite view and perhaps it’s why the heavy weight in his chest brings him down further into hell.

“Pay attention to me,” you pout as you try to squirm your ankle out of his grip.

“Was the last two hours not enough?” He muses cheekily. His face turn a slight pink as you shake your head. He can’t tell if you’re causing him to turn color or if it is the warmth of summer coming.

“C’mhere,” he pulls on your ankle and you smile as you push yourself up, crawling over to his side. You remove his guitar from his lap, setting it down carefully as he eyes you intensely. If anything happened to any of his guitars, you’re sure he would set you aflame. And you would do the same.

“Hi,” you smile up at his beautiful face as you cuddle up beside him, throwing your legs over his lap fully. He opens his arms for you wide, pulling you as close as possible to his body. He’s always so warm and comforting.

“Hi,” his voice is deep as he nuzzles his nose into your hair. Jungkook had been acting a little distant lately. You didn’t know if it was the decision of him dropping out of school to fully pursue music, stress from his parents about that said decision, or maybe the horrible fight you two had a couple weeks back. Any chance you got though, you made sure to hold him as close as possible, desperate for him to come back down to you. You had just celebrated your three year anniversary together and even with Jungkook being more reserved, you were sure it wouldn’t be the last.

“What’s up baby?” You nudge him as his gaze looks off into the distant. It’s probably just past midnight, but the city is still alive and well. He looks back over to you, hand rubbing circles on your exposed thigh.

“Just thinking,” he mumbles with straight lips, a deep sigh emitting from his nose. You bring a hand up, squeezing his right cheek playfully. He lets you play with him like a doll. He doesn’t care as long as you keep touching him because he knows all too soon—that’ll be a thing of the past.

“About what?” You ponder curiously as he leans into your touch.

“I love you,” he completely disregards your question, leaning into some so you can meet him halfway. The kiss is gentle and soft. Unlike a few hours ago where they were rough and calloused, bruising each other’s flesh in the worst ways possible. You want more from him desperately but onset soreness between your thighs tells you to hold off.

“I love you too. Keep playing,” you whisper against his mouth as he pulls away. He nods tenderly and you scoot away from him some so he can pick his guitar back up. He would do anything for you. Maybe that would make you want to stay. You choose to stay in your curled up position, no matter how difficult is might be for him to play. He rests the bottom of the instrument between the crack of your parted legs, the neck going the opposite direction.

He clears his throat before beginning to strum chords that you don’t immediately recognize, but it soon settles in.

“Why the doom and gloom babe?” You sulk which causes him to stop playing. He laughs, shaking his head some.

“You said play me a song, I am playing you a song,” he raises his eyebrows at you obviously. You giggle in return, before huffing a fine, settling back some in the couch cushions.

He starts the chords over again, the heaviness of the song filling the air around you two. You don’t know why Jungkook has chosen to play you despairing songs the past hour, but you leave him be. He’s much more sensitive than he likes to show on to people. He tries his best to show his emotions, despite how bad he can be at communicating at times. He promised he would work on it and maybe that was your first mistake.

“Don’t wanna think about it, don’t wanna talk about, I’m just so sick about it,” he sings low under the moonlight and stars. “Just so confused about it, feelin’ the blues about it, I just can’t do without ya—“

Perhaps your second mistake was downplaying Jungkook’s distance and undermining the meanings of the songs he was playing. And Jungkook would soon learn himself, what goes around does indeed come back around.

______

“Thanks for driving me home again,” you look over to your doe eyed companion. He shifts his car into park, settling near your apartment.

“No problem,” he says looking over to you. It was late on a Tuesday night—practicing with Whailen just wrapped. You had practiced with Violet earlier in the afternoon and to say you were exhausted was an understatement. There were 4 days left until the competition and you only hoped you wouldn’t be burnt out by then.

“You doing okay?” Jungkook asks as you let out a yawn, covering your mouth quickly.

“Yeah, just really tired,” you say honestly. Truthfully—you had been doing pretty well the past week or so. Settling things with your mother had eased your tension greatly and the letter from your dad seemed to come at just the right time.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this Y/N,” he says genuinely. You had heard that phrase from everyone in Whailen—minus Namjoon—at least once a day since you first came to rehearsal last week.

“Don’t worry about it,” you shake your head some, “I know you’d do the same for me if I asked.”

He gives you a small smile, his eyes softening, “Yeah… yeah I would,” his voice trails off leaving a heavy silence in the car. Ever since yours and Jungkook’s talk, the two of you honestly had not spoken many words to each other. He would give you a hello when you walked into the practice studio as did you, only exchanging words with each other when absolutely necessary. It wasn’t awkward by any means, but there had been a shift in your relationship with each other. Good or bad—you didn’t know.

“Yeah well, I’d better head up,” you unbuckle yourself, ripping your gaze away from his.

“Do they know?” He asks, “Your band?”

The question catches you off guard, your heart stopping for a moment, “No. Not yet”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything else as you gather your bag from your feet, opening the car door swiftly, “Thanks again.”

You’re about to shut the door when his voice rings through your ears once again.

“Wait, Y/N—“

You stop your motions, furrowing your brows, “Yeah?”

His dark eyes catch yours in the street lamps that are illuminate the parking lot. His mouth opens but he quickly shuts back, his lips tightening into a line. His expression is unreadable, his eyes wide and starry-like.

“Have a good night,” is all he says. Knowing him all too well, you know that was not what he intended on saying. However, not wanting to stir anything up, you leave it at that. You wish him well too watching as he drives away, leaving you alone to your thoughts.

The moment you cross the threshold into your apartment, you nearly jump out of your shoes when Lisa’s voice rains down on you.

“Were you just with Jungkook?” Her words hit you like a baseball bat and you are the 95 MPH fastball.

“Huh?” You return dumbly, hanging up your key next to hers.

“I saw you two,” she says, “From my window.”

“Never took you as a peeping Tom,” you walk past her frame and back towards your room, wanting nothing more to shower and head into a deep sleep. Her footsteps follow yours closely and you know she isn’t going to let up.

“It’s almost midnight, we finished practice at seven,” she says, “I thought you and him stopped hooking up—“

“We did,” you interrupt, kicking off your sneakers and laying down on your bed promptly, hoping she would get the hint to leave you be.

“Well, then that doesn’t explain why you were with him.”

You are tempted to keep tight lipped but with the competition just days away—they were going to find out no matter what. It was too late to back out on either of your commitments so would simply have to deal with it.

“I’m doing him a favor,” you say, sitting up and sitting criss-crossed. Her eyes narrow as she steps towards your frame, pulling out your desk chair to sit.

“And what favor could you possibly owe him?”

You feel your heart racing, palms sweaty, a lump in your throat before pushing it down, “I’m filling in lead for them,” you pause, “For the competition on Saturday.”

Lisa’s face falls, eyes wide, losing all color at once. “E-excuse me? Y/N what?”

You don’t say anything else, giving her time to process the information.

She starts shaking her head, waving her hands around in confusion, “B-but you said that Namjoon was o-out and we had the leg up now? Y/N please tell me you’re joking oh my god—“

“I’m not,” you mumble, looking down at your hands.

“You have to be fucking kidding, Y/N they’re our competition—our biggest competition at that and you’re out here helping them?!”

“Lisa please—“

“No, don’t Lisa please me—this is ridiculous! Let them suffer for their own problems!”

You sigh, rolling your eyes, “Lisa look at me,” you say sternly, “How do you think I would feel if you, or Jimin, or Hobi got hurt right before our biggest fucking gig—a goddamn record deal on the line—I-I would still want us to play! But there is no way in hell I would ask some random bassist or drummer to fill in for one of you guys! You know if I asked Jungkook, or Taehyung, they would do the same for us.”

“Would they though?” She presses, her fingers turning white from gripping the back of your desk chair.

“Yes,” you say, “I know Jungkook would. Please I know it’s not ideal for any one of us but it’s one gig but I promise you that we will be fine.”

“I can’t fucking believe you sometimes,” she exasperates, standing up promptly from the chair. “I’m assuming you haven’t told Hobi yet? Or Jimin?” You bite your lip hesitantly and it’s all the answer she needs before she is rolling her eyes, huffing at your stature.

“You better not be sabotaging us,” she pauses, “You’re own band.”

Lisa leaves your room, slamming the door behind her. Your face falls, her words coming down on you like a rain shower. Violet was your band—the thing you perhaps cherished the most of anything else in the world. You had worked so hard, practiced so many hours, wrote so many songs—all to leading to a moment coming this weekend. If you secured a record deal then your life would change in so many ways. Your dreams would come true—the dreams your dad had instilled on you as a little girl would come true. Were you sabotaging yourself by helping Whailen 52? You certainly didn’t think so until Lisa said that. It was obviously too late to back on your promise to Yoongi, knowing your dad would have wanted you to do the right thing.

“Fuck,” you fall back against your bed again, body bouncing slightly. You were tired, hungry, and your head was killing you. You really hoped you had made the right decision.

____

Vision was a little hazy, the music a little too loud, and maybe you had already had a little too much to drink for the evening, but you were having fun. A luxury that you hadn’t truly experienced in weeks. The venue was huge—an upscale bar on the opposite side of the city—complete with a rooftop, dance floors, and multiple levels each equipped with their own stage set ups.

Geffen Records kicked off competition weekend with a party, bringing out all the stops for tomorrow evening. There were 11 bands that were playing in total tomorrow evening—press release posters lining the walls of the bar with each band name on it. On the third line sat Violet, a little down to the seventh line sat Whailen 52. The whole night had been surreal so far and perhaps that’s why you had downed a little too much alcohol to ease your nerves.

You found yourself at the bar with Jimin and Lisa ordering another drink, trying your best to ease all the pent up nerves you have. You were exhausted and your fingers were calloused more than they had ever been. You were excited to show your hard off work, both in Violet and Whailen. If anything, you would hope that playing with Whailen would put more spotlight on you and your band. The only front woman in the competition, playing guitar for two bands—that had to look impressive to whoever was going to be judging.

“Babe maybe make this your last one,” Lisa remarks as you down your shot. It was only your second one and you shake your head in response. She was being dramatic.

“I’m fine,” you protest, leaning against the bar to people watch. You wanted to keep an eye out for any familiar faces—doe eyes in particular.

“Do you really want to be hungover tomorrow of all days?” She adds. You glance at her from the corner of your eyes. Maybe she wasn’t being dramatic. You turn back around, ordering a water promptly.

“Where’s Hobi?” You look around, realizing you hadn’t seen your drummer in over an hour. Actually, no one had seen him over an hour.

“Probably chatting up that one bassist in that band Moody,” Jimin explains, “He’s always eyeing her up and down when we’ve been to their gigs.”

You and Lisa laugh in unison, “Good for him,” you smile. Hobi was a charmer that’s one thing for sure.

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?” Jimin turns to you, leaning on his side as he drinks a vodka water. Lisa eyes you up and down, turning her attention away from you two. Neither of you have told Jimin or Hoseok about your double crossing tomorrow—making Lisa swear not to say anything. If she had kept your word, Jimin was still oblivious and if she hadn’t—he was a really good actor.

“Nervous,” is all you say, afraid you might say too much.

“Don’t be nervous,” he reassures, “You’re the best damn guitar player in this whole bar.”

You smile at his compliment, “Give yourself more credit than that.” It was true—Jimin was an amazing guitar player. You considered yourself lucky as hell when Jimin wanted to audition for your band. He had left his old band for yours, putting all his trust in you. Which is why you were so terrified of seeing his reaction tomorrow when you would finally tell him your secret.

“I am,” he nudges your foot that’s clad in a strappy black heel. Definitely not your normal get up, but you wanted to make an impression on whoever would be here tonight.

“Is that miss Y/N, leader of the sensational band Violet?” You don’t recognize the voice at first, you and Jimin simultaneously looking in the direction it came from. Your eyes land on a tall man, whose voice you can now put a name and face too.

Kim Mingyu. Leader of the band Mayday, one of Jungkook’s best friends, and certified asshole. Mayday was an impressive band to say the least. Punk rock based like many of the ones competing, but they probably had the longest list of accomplishments already behind them. They recently opened for All Time Low at a gig in America. They were also already signed to a small record label but were clearly trying to move on up to the mainstream. As showy as their accomplishments were, in terms of their music, they were simply average. It’s why you didn’t consider them competition. Your band was a lot better, on many different levels, and you were about to prove that tomorrow.

“Mingyu,” you greet him, “Long time no see.”

His eyes look between you and Jimin, a small smirk rising upon his face, “I see your efforts paid off.”

“Excuse me?” You’re shocked by his words. They’re vague to anyone else, but you know exactly what he means. He doesn’t elaborate as he steps forward, keeping his eyes on you. He motions for you to scoot to right a tad, so he can squeeze between you and Jimin. Lisa has noticed who has made their way here and she tenses up beside you.

Mingyu orders a beer, leaning on his elbows against the mahogany and gold encrusted bar.

“So how have you been?” He turns to you, completely ignoring Jimin. Your guitarist gives you a worried look but you brush it promptly.

“Fine,” your answer is simple. You don’t owe him any explanation of your feelings. He was always so mean to you when you and Jungkook dated. It got to the point where you refused to hang out with Jungkook if Mingyu was going to be there. This was set within the first 6 months of your 3 year relationship.

“Ah thanks,” he nods to the bartender, taking a gulp of his dark beer, “That’s good, considering everything…”

Your body tenses up, heart rate intensifying too, breathing becoming a little shaky. You stay silent, feeling your brain become less cloudy and more aware of your surroundings. You were tempted to grab Jimin and Lisa, run off and find Hobi, but Mingyu keeps speaking, preventing you from doing so.

“I mean heroin, that’s one hell of a drug,” he tsks, “Wasn’t really my thing you know? Didn’t enjoy the nodding off, takes the fun out of things—“

“Fuck off dude, just leave us alone,” Jimin snips. You feel bile rising in the back of your throat, head spinning as his words sink in. He knew precisely what he was doing and his motive to approaching you.

“Last time someone left you two alone, you ended up fucking him behind Jungkook’s back right?” He turns to you with, clad with a proud smirk. Lisa wraps her small hand around your wrist, worried you might launch at him. Little did she know, you couldn’t do that. He was breaking you down piece by piece and you had nothing in you to fight him.

“I’m serious Mingyu,” Jimin takes action, grabbing him by the arm to tug him away from you and the bar. It draws attention from everyone who is near you, gasps and other whisperings rising afraid of what might happen. Mingyu backs up with his hands up to show a sign of submission.

“Whoa,” he says, “Just some friendly banter is all… I mean everyone is all good friends now though right?” He eggs on, “Isn’t that why you’re playing lead for Whailen tomorrow?”

Your face completely falls—your heart dropping into the pit of your stomach. You feel Jimin tense up beside you, his gaze heavy on your face but you can’t possibly look at him. You briefly glance at Lisa who is looking away, fidgeting uncomfortably in her own heels.

“I-I,” you pause, at a loss for words, “Who told you that?”

He smirks before walking backwards some, downing the rest of his beer, “Who do you think?”

He walks away from the scene, leaving you stunned, embarrassed, and panicked.

Jimin turns to you quickly, though he stays silent. You’re unable to catch your breath or look at him.

Your emotions are running astray—anger, confusion, betrayal, pain. It was overwhelming as you gripped the side of the bar trying to maintain your balance. Not only did Mingyu throw out your secret in front of anyone who was around to here it—he also threw your father’s passing up in your face. You wanted to cry, you really did, but something in you told you to save your tears for later. While you were angry with Mingyu, the hurt and betrayal you felt knowing Jungkook told him everything was manifesting itself into anger at your ex lover.

“Whoa whoa, hey guys what happened?” Hobi appears by Lisa’s side, seemingly out of nowhere, panic striking his features, “Someone said you almost got into a fight?” He references towards Jimin.

“Where’s Jungkook? Have you seen him?” You ask your drummer quickly, your jaw clenching the more you think about those doe eyes that have now betrayed you more than once.

“Y/N let’s not—“

“Have you seen them?” You ask again interrupting Lisa, pushing yourself off the bar stool. Jimin has stayed silent, his eyes full of confusion and distrust as he looks your way.

“I-I think they might be downstairs?” Hoseok finally answers, looking between his three bandmates curiously. He should have expected he was walking into a shitshow when he heard Park Jimin of all people almost started a bar fight.

Without another word, you leave your bandmates rushing to find the nearest set of stairs down to the second floor. Your heels are making you slower than usual, almost slipping once or twice but you passively ignore it. Your blood was boiling and you weren’t leaving until you spoke to him. You’re looking around frantically at the packed bar; people everywhere, drinks flying, music loud, smoke clouds blazing. You make your way through the crowd towards the open area with tables and you nearly scream when a hand grabs your arm in the midst of it all.

“Y/N—woah, what’s the rush babe, come have a drink!”

“Yoongi! You scared the shit out of me,” you hold your chest over your heart, “Have you seen Jungkook? Or Taehyung? Or any of your fucking band—“

“Whoa whoa, what’s up?” He looks at you up and down, noticing your frantic state of mind.

“Have you?” You persist.

“We all were down at the first level, they might still be there,” he replies, tone lacing with concern. He’s about to ask what in the hell is going on but you turn away from him quick enough to escape. Yoongi watches your frame from behind as you walk away, an unsettling feeling washing over him and he can’t help but to follow you, sensing something was about to blow up.

You find locks of freshly dyed purple ends catching in the bar lighting right near the steps you just got off of. Your heart rate was surely going a million miles per hour. The new violet color of his hair perhaps sends you into overdrive. You stop fresh in your tracks when you get a better angle of the scene. It makes more bile rise in your throat and you feel like you could actually get sick.

Whailen is sat around a few nice couches and chairs, all laughing and drinking absentmindedly. All looks relatively normal until you see a girl propped up on Jungkook’s lap, her looking at him like he’s the brightest star of all the constellations. He’s laughing and clearly drunk, his hands a little too high on her thighs for your preference. There are other women around them too, but Jungkook was already in hot water with you—you weren’t letting him off the hook.

“Y/N?” Jungkook’s eyes immediately lock eyes with yours as you get closer to them. All of his bandmates and groupies look over at you, all smiling with welcoming ‘hello’s’ and ‘sit down’s’. Jungkook shifts awkwardly in his seat, removing his hands from the girl. She looks at you with furrowed brows, clearly unhappy that his attention is currently on you.

“Fuck you,” you spit at Jungkook, the entire area going silent.

“Woah what the fuck,” Yoongi says from behind you, grabbing your arm in the process of his words. You realized that he followed you and it only makes you more pissed off, jerking out of his light grip. Jungkook looks more than confused, pushing the girl off of him; perhaps that was the reason you were mad?

He stands up only a couple feet away from you now—“Y/N what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“What’s wrong?!” You step forward, not caring how much attention the two of you are drawing your way. “What’s wrong?!” You repeat, “First you can’t keep your fucking dick in your pants and now you can’t shut your fucking mouth?!”

“Y/N, let’s not do this here,” Yoongi chimes in again, trying to pull you away from the situation but you once again ignore him.

“What are you talking about? Y/N I really don’t—“

“Fuck you,” you say again, “I fucking hate you.” Once again—you don’t mean it but you felt the need to cut deep. Blame it on the booze—you couldn’t care less.

Jungkook steps forward grabbing your forearms, “Baby please I don’t know what you’re talking about, what’s wrong? We can go talk?” Jungkook was rambling at this point. Everything had been fine between the two of you—the best it’s been since your breakup—why were you so mad?

“I’m so fucking done with you after tomorrow,” you look at the band who sits there in disbelief about what has just transpired.

You walk away from their group, all eyes on you, anger spilling out of you unable to stop it. Jungkook calls after you but after your frame disappears, he’s never felt more confused and heartbroken in his entire life.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow towards Jungkook before pinching the bridge of his nose, speaking for the first time, “Well that was cheerful.”

_____

Jungkook woke up the next morning not feeling great—slightly hungover, his head heavy from the booze and heavy on you. After the outburst you had last night in front of the band, he found himself heavily drinking to drown out his uncertainty about what happened. For once in his life, he cannot for the life of him figure out what he did. Normally he could step back and tell himself, ‘okay, you did X, Y, Z which is why Y/N is upset’. This time—he had no clue.

To make it all worse—today was the day. The band competition was in less than 12 hours and Jungkook was unsure if you would actually show up for them today. You obviously were pissed beyond belief at him, which in turn jeopardizes Whailen 52’s show tonight. You were carrying a lot of weight for his band tonight and if you didn’t show out—it was going to be his fault.

“Man, I just don’t know what I did,” Jungkook inhales from the joint deeply, holding in the smoke as long as he could before exhaling. He passes it over to Yoongi, who eyes him suspiciously. A hangover wasn’t anything Jungkook couldn’t solve with a morning bake. He ended up crashing on Yoongi’s couch last night, too drunk to make it home by himself or with that girl he was with. What was her name again?

“I want to believe you Kook,” Yoongi inhales, “But given your track record…” he laughs while blowing the smoke away from the two of them.

“Hyung I’m not fucking lying,” the younger snaps, “I just don’t know why she always feel the need throw things up in my face without actually talking to me about it first,” he shakes his head, looking out over the small balcony of Yoongi’s apartment. It was a chilly day, the sun barely out—a great representation of Jungkook’s mood.

“Maybe because that’s what your relationship was?” Yoongi inhales once more before passing the joint back over. Jungkook stares at Yoongi with a heightened gaze, bringing the paper up to his lips. “I’m just saying,” he pauses, “You guys were younger and stupid, you would do something, she would do something and you two would instantly jump to conclusions without communicating.”

Jungkook hangs his head low, slightly nodding his head into agreement. Miscommunication was the root of many of yours and Jungkook’s problems in the relationship. Perhaps that’s bleeding over to whatever you are now.

“How can I fix it,” Jungkook mumbles, running a hand through his hair.

Yoongi watches his younger peer with a stoic expression. You and Jungkook were probably the two most stubborn people he knew—whatever was going to get you both straight—he didn’t have the answer.

“Do you want to be with her? Still?” He raises an eyebrow at Jungkook, who only gives Yoongi a glance from the side of his large eyes. It’s all the answer Yoongi needs. “Give her some time Kook, I don’t know how much… I mean give yourself some time too man. She’s been really unfair to you the past few months.”

“Because I fucking cheated on her—“

“Jungkook you can’t keep punishing yourself about that,” Yoongi interrupts, “If you truly want to be with her again, you have to forgive yourself and she has to forgive herself for the things she did to you.”

“Fuck,” Jungkook groans. He needed to talk to you before the show tonight. With so many wrongs, he wasn’t sure if he could make things right, but he had to try.

____

Your phone had not stopped buzzing from the moment you woke up this morning. Texts from friends and some family wishing you and your band good luck later tonight. You had a few texts from your band in the group chat, a few from Jimin (you were actively ignoring him at the moment), a few from Min Yoongi, and unsurprisingly, Jeon Jungkook (who you were also actively ignoring). With the amount of nerves bubbling in your veins today, you did not have the energy to deal with the people pinging you this morning.

Thankfully there was no sign of a hangover as you started to go about your morning. Lisa didn’t come home last night, opting to go sleep with one of her fuck buddies instead. She had yet to show face this morning and if she isn’t here by noon, that’s when maybe you would consider calling the police.

In the height of all your thoughts, stress cleaning your kitchen, a sudden knock on your door knocks you from your reverie. Guess you wouldn’t be calling the police after all. But why would Lisa just not come in? Did she forget her key?

You swing open the door, your eyes quickly scanning up a chest that is simply too big to be female. When you make eye contact, your jaw clenches and like instinct, you begin to slam to door back shut.

“Y/N, wait!—“ his hand slams down on the door, stopping you from closing it on his face. He’s too strong for you so you stop fighting, deciding to kick him out in a nicer fashion.

“What do you want Jungkook?” You stand in the threshold, crossing your arms over your chest to block him from coming in. “Are you high?” You push, noticing the whites of eyes a little too pink to be normal.

“Coming down,” he mutters. You roll your eyes about to shut the door again until he starts to speak, “Y/N we need to talk. I-I don’t know what I did and I don’t want you mad at me—I feel like we were finally getting somewhere,” he pauses running a panicked hand through his hair, “I wanna fix this—us—I get that we’re not perfect but I want this shit behind us, so please just let me come in.”

The straight look on your face doesn’t help him in anyway, but when you step aside to let him come in, he breathes a sigh of relief.

“Five minutes,” you warn as you shut the door behind you two.

“Y/N I just wanna say whatever you’re upset about—I’m sorry,” he doesn’t waste anytime, “I just don’t know what I did—I thought everything was good? And then you came up last night and I just genuinely didn’t know what you were talking about… and I didn’t want you to think I was belittling you by not knowing I just—“

“Jungkook stop,” you interrupt him letting out a deep breath. His desperation tells you that he seems to be telling the truth, though it still doesn’t ease your frustration against him. “You know who came up to me last night?”

He shakes his head, desperate for answers.

“Fucking Mingyu,” you spit angrily. Suddenly his expression falls, a pit opening up in his chest.

“Y/N—“

“No Jungkook—no,” you pause; you weren’t going to cry but you felt like you could if you let your walls down, “Not only did he spill to everyone that I was helping you guys out, he threw up my own father’s death in my fucking face.”

Jungkook’s mouth parts, his jaw clenching slightly. Truthfully, him and Mingyu had grown apart in the last few months, only catching up if they saw each other out. The last time they spoke, Jungkook did mention you were helping Whailen out which Mingyu scoffed at but he figured he couldn’t care less. Mingyu’s band was already bigger than Violet or Whalien—why would he care? Hearing that he said something to you about your dad doesn’t sit well with him. No matter how famous your father was in the music industry, it’s no ones place to bring it up.

“Holy shit, Y/N I’m so sorry I didn’t—“

“Jungkook you know that I’m doing this as a favor for Yoongi,” it somewhat cuts Jungkook through the chest to hear that he had no apparent weight in your decision, “But only Lisa knew and he brought it up in front of Jimin and I just—“ you stop, a lump forming in your throat. You had yet to explain yourself to him and you weren’t sure how you were going to.

“Y/N I’m sorry,” he pauses, unsure of what to say, “Honestly Mingyu and I aren’t that close anymore—I talk to him maybe a couple times a month now… when we were together I didn’t pay attention or care enough to pay attention to how shitty he was to you. And then after we broke up he would say the most horrible things about you and I just wasn’t having it—I’m so sorry I feel like he was probably doing in it spite of me because I told him to fuck off when it came to you, fuck no wonder you’re mad I—“

He stops to catch his breath, his eyes wandering away from yours. You feel the tense bite of your jaw loosening, your shoulders slacking, your defense mechanisms falling. You were smart enough to acknowledge your strengths—being self aware one of your prides—but you could also admit your flaws—and jumping to conclusions was something you were still working on fixing. Had you really gotten this so wrong? You suddenly felt stupid, like a child throwing a temper tantrum because someone said something that you didn’t like.

“Is that true?” You ask, though already knowing the answer. Jungkook notices the small look in your eyes, looking unsure and insecure about the situation.

“Yes, god,” he steps forward, his hands wrapping around your arms, squeezing you reassuringly, “Y/N I shouldn’t have said anything and I’m sorry for that,” he pauses, “Everyone was going to find out eventually but it wasn’t my place to say anything. I really am so sorry.”

You end up cracking a small smile, laughing to yourself for a moment. Jungkook looks at you confused, muttering a what.

“Stop apologizing,” you say looking up at his full stature. His head was a few inches from yours and you could faintly smell remnants of his cologne. “I should apologize to you—and the guys—fuck I’m such a bitch—“

“No, no you’re not,” he says, “Short tempered? That’s another thing,” his lips form into a small smile and you can’t help but roll your eyes, pushing his chest away from you slightly.

“Are they mad at me?” You ask referring to his band. You wouldn’t blame them if they were considering you pretty much told them all to fuck off last night.

He shakes his head some, “No I think they were just confused like me,” he laughs again and you throw your head back, letting out a groan. You really couldn’t catch a fucking break. And yourself was to blame for part of that. You make a mental note to bring it up to your therapist next session.

“I’m sorry Jungkook,” you finally say, stepping away from his frame some. He was so… large these days. It was intimidating. He doesn’t say anything, only watching as you somber over and throw yourself on your couch, stretching your legs out on the sectional with a groan.

He follows you a few moments after, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch, a silence falling over you two. You turn on your side, your eyes immediately meeting his again. His gaze isn’t heavy, but he’s a look on his face you can’t read. Then again, you weren’t necessarily good at reading him anyway.

“Have you talked to them yet?” He suddenly asks. It takes you a second to understand what he’s asking about.

“No,” you mutter, “I didn’t want them to be angry.”

He visibly swallows, “Don’t you think they’d get more mad if you don’t talk to them?”

You don’t answer him immediately, knowing he’s right.

“I care about him too much,” with your mention of a him, Jungkook knows exactly who you are talking about. Jimin.

“I know,” he mumbles, unsure of how he should feel. On one hand, he despises Jimin—hates that he was the person you ran to betray him all those months ago. On the other, Jimin is in your band and has known you longer than Jungkook has… as long as Jungkook wanted you in his life—Park Jimin was going to be there too.

“You should fucking hate me,” you mumble curling into yourself further into the couch.

“And you should fucking hate me,” he responds with wit. You’re not looking at him anymore, but you can sense his raised eyebrows, lips tight in a straight line.

“I don’t,” you say honestly. It was the exact opposite. He knew that. You knew that—you weren’t even trying to lie to yourself anymore.

You look back over to Jungkook, who is looking down at your coffee table aimlessly. Pursing your lips, your push yourself up, crawling over to his frame. He watches you curiously as you throw a leg over his lap to straddle him. You now have the power as he stares up at you, studying your face intensely. You bring a hand up to his throat catching him off guard, raising a single eyebrow at you.

“I don’t hate you,” you say, “I hate how you’re good at everything. I hate how you always know what to say. I hate that you cheated on me. I hate how you make feel sometimes.”

Your fingers dig into his throat some but he doesn’t seem to mind as he takes your grilling. His stares at your neck, trying to keep his composure beneath you. His heart rate had picked up the second you flopped yourself on his lap. He wasn’t sure what your motive was, but he would give in to anything you wanted.

“And I hate how much I fucking love you,” you whisper this time, dropping your gaze along with your hand, noticing the redness against his skin. Before your hand reaches your lap—he grabs your wrist tightly, making your eyes flick back up to his. His chocolate eyes have darkened to a near black. He’s chewing on his bottom lip slowly before his other hand comes up, wrapping itself around your throat this time. You freeze on top of him with your breathing picking up heavily.

He brings your head to his, his forehead against yours, his nose brushing against your own. His fingers press into your throat, a small whine for air coming through your lips. You shift against him, trying to create some space between you two but he’s strong—and he’s not letting you go anywhere.

“Is it my turn now?” He breathes heavily against your mouth and you try your best to swallow easily, but with his grip it has become more difficult. You look at him confused, a small “hm?” emerging from your chest. “To tell you all about my hatred for you?” His voice is low, barely above a whisper at this moment.

He quirks an eyebrow at you. You’re surprised you’ve held on for this long, not giving into his motions. Chest to chest, breath to breath, you manage a hand on his chest, bundling some of his sweatshirt together. With all your strength, you push him back into the couch, his hand leaving your throat, your actions slightly startling him.

One hand pinning him against his chest, one by his head, “Be my fucking guest.”

It’s all he needs to do what you’ve been wanting him to do for weeks now. His grip tightens around your waist and ass, pulling you down to close the gap between the two of you. Of all the people you’ve kissed in your lifetime, his lips were your favorite by far. His lips—oh his soft lips that haven’t changed from when you first met him at 18. Sometimes they tend to be more chapped than others, but they’ve always molded against yours so heavenly.

Both of you are equally tugging and pulling against each other, holding each other close, mouths entangled with one another. His tongue melts into your mouth, his hands squeezing your ass to push you further into his own pelvis. A whine escapes from your mouth when you pull away to catch your breath. He doesn’t let you rest long, his hand coming back up to your throat to bring your mouths together once again. You two hadn’t kissed in weeks—the last being in his studio which wasn’t planned and didn’t end how you expected it. Ending your mutual toxic occasional fucking was needed, but ending your relationship with Jungkook was hard and right now—you’re not sure why you had made that decision.

A deep groan emits from his lips, “Here,” he pauses, holding your face steady in one hand, “Or your room?”

Knowing Lisa could walk in any minute, you decide on the latter. Once in your room, Jungkook takes no time in discarding your clothes piece by piece. He sucks and nips at all angles of your neck and collarbones as he shoves you against your door. He’s being rough, but you weren’t opposed to it. In fact, it just made your panties all the more damp between your legs.

His actions turn slightly smoother when his lips reach yours again. His kissing sweet and gentle, the built up pining for each other spewing out in passionate bursts of energy. Feeling handsy, you push his sweatshirt up with him finishing slipping it off himself. His eyes are dark as you both take a few moments to just stare at one another.

He licks his lips, pressing his forehead against yours. Again, he grabs you by the throat, forcing your eyes to met his. Desperate to feel them again, but he holds his lips back mere inches from yours.

“I hate how you always jump to conclusions,” he whispers deeply and you can’t help but fight the urge to smile some.

“Is that it?” You raise your brow in response, cheekily enough to where it clearly irks him on the surface. He kisses you again, this time a little more rough and you gladly swallow all of him. Feeling bold and knowing it’s nothing you haven’t done before, you reach down to his pants, caressing the outside of his clothed cock. It’s already plump and swelled when you feel it, but you only get a few strokes in before Jungkook’s hand is swatting you away.

In a sudden motion, he turns you around, pushing your chest up against your door. You turn your cheek against the cold surface as he presses his body close to yours. With you trapped against the door and between his strong body, a small pathetic whine comes from you when you feel his hardened cock pressing into your ass.

“I hate how you slept with Jimin behind my back,” he nips at the section of your neck that’s exposed to him, his voice sharp and punctual with his words. You try your best to push off the door, but he’s too strong.

He rolls his hips into your ass, “Jungkook,” you whimper as he continues to kiss at your sensitive skin all the way from your neck, down to your exposed collarbone, and slowly across your upper back. Your nipples are hard against the cold surface and it only makes you more restless. To get back at him some, after he presses himself into you once more, you push your ass back which earns you a small groan from him.

“Ah fuck,” he breathes heavily, “I missed you so much.”

He speaks honestly and you can’t help the quick and desperate nodding you give him.

“Me too.”

He’s quick to let up some pressure on your frame to which you take the opportunity to turn back around, your hands gripping at the sides of his face to bring him in for a deep kiss. It was so hard not to give yourself to this man. He had broken your heart more than once, but he was always there to piece it back together. He was your catharsis and you weren’t sure if anyone else could fill the void that desperately needed to be filled.

“I hate how I can’t keep myself from you,” he breaks the kiss, taking you by your forearms, pulling you along until you are perched on his lap on the edge of your bed. Your room is chilly but with your naked chests pressed up against each other, his body was warm and comfortable. He was like your own personal strain of heroin—addicting and warm, getting you so high that you didn’t need anything else.

“Anything else?” You quirk your lips looking down at his beautiful face and hair that you’ve tousled in the process of making out.

He licks his lips slowly, his eyes weak and hazy. He’s obviously tired, coming down from the high hitting hard, but with you keeping himself hard, it was something he could push past.

“Baby I have a whole list,” he smirks, his hands rubbing calming circles on your skin. You push yourself harder onto his lap, wretchedly trying to feel his length. He moves slightly, pressing himself up into you sending chill bumps down your spine. You roll again, which sends him tilting his head back.

“Shit, stop that Y/N.”

You act like you don’t hear his remark, rolling your hips against him again. A shutter escapes your mouth when his hard cock brushes against your clothed clitoris. You needed more—you hated the space between you two. You needed his hands, his mouth, his pink tip—whatever to just to be close to your opening. He tries to hold you in place so you can’t move anymore, but he’s falling weak as you continue to grind down on him.

You are too occupied to notice how tight his grip has gotten on you, his heavy breathing dark and languid. You squeal when you are suddenly flipped over, Jungkook’s thick body pinning you down to your mattress.

“I said fucking stop,” he groans into your neck as he begins his journey to pull down your silky sleep shorts. To his surprise, you’re not wearing any underwear and the sight makes him lick his lips, biting the flesh every so slightly.

“I hate how you don’t fucking listen,” he pushes into the meat of your thighs, his large hands spreading you apart. Your back involuntarily arches the closer he gets to your dripping center. He hasn’t even touched you yet you could take him so well. All it takes is one lick, two kitten licks of his tongue before a sigh comes out of you.

Jungkook loves the way you taste. Anytime he eats you out, he treats it like it’s his last—afraid that his personal skittle, so sweet and delicate in the middle would recede far away. His mouth opens and closes in different motions, some slow and wide, other fast and close together. You grip his hair harshly, pushing his face down into your hole deeper, his nose brushing against your sensitive bud every once in a while.

You’re squirming at this point, your chest rising unevenly and Jungkook can tell your close. Your small whines make it hard for him to stay quiet, he himself mulling into your wet pussy. His hips buck into your mattress trying to find some pressure relief for himself.

“Fuck Jungkook,” your voice is louder than you were expecting, his tongue taking your breath away, “I’m gonna c-come,” you warn.

His eyes are dark as they look up at you, his tongue focusing on your sensitive bud to send you over the edge. Your hips begin to rise, your mouth falling open and eyes closing shut as he almost sends you off the cliff. With a few more licks to go to send you to a high you need to go, all of his movements stop. Your eyes fly open, down to the spot in between your legs, dumbfounded at his actions.

“What the f—“

“Baby’s been so mean,” he crawls back up to you, his sweatpants now hanging lower than ever, his happy trail out leading to your happy place. “I don’t think she deserves to come yet,” the way he slightly degrades you in 3rd person sends you in a spiral.

“Yes, yes, yes she does Kook, please,” you hold his face gently as you chase a kiss. He obliges, letting you taste yourself from him. He manages to shimmy out of the rest of his pants, revealing he’s not wearing any underwear either, his tip grazing across your entrance just waiting to be sucked in.

He smirks against you as he pulls away, allowing you to look at his sculpted body in all its glory. His chest is broad, his abdominals carved to perfection, his v line going right where you need him most. He cock is such a good size, just the right length and girth. His thick thighs are halfway straddling you as he reaches over into your nightstand to pull out a condom. You watch him skillfully rip open the package and put it on in less than 15 seconds, beyond ready to have your pussy stretched out.

He rubs your entrance with his tip, holding himself up with one arm by your head. Neither of you are looking at each other, too enthralled with the way he puts his juicy pink tip in, only to pull it out after some shallow thrusts.

You’re about to push your hips to hurry the process but before you can, you’re suddenly flipped over, ass in the air and your back pushed down into your mattress.

“Oh fuck!—“ your breath is taken away as Jungkook quickly finds his way into your tight walls, a deep groan emitting from him.

“Oh god—shit,” he breathes, shoving himself as deep as he can go, one hand keeping your back down against the sheets. You feel tears stinging your eyes as he stretches you full, your hands fisting the sheets beneath you.

“Jungkook please move—”

“Fuck baby you’re so tight though… always so fucking tight just for me right?”

You mewl, head nodding in your sheets, “Yes yes, only for you baby—please move Jungkook,” you’re begging with tears, your pussy throbbing against his length.

Jungkook shifts slightly to a more comfortable position, one hand gripping your waist to hold you against him tightly, the other falling against your neck to keep your torso down. Hesitantly, he pulls out some, jerking his hips right back into the deepest parts of your insides. You swear you feel him pressing into your gut and it leaves you breathless.

“I hate,” he pulls out again a little more, “How fucking,” he slams his hips back, “Needy you always were,” he groans as he begins a steady pace in and out of you. Your moans are becoming louder and louder as he snap of his hips are harder than the last. His words go completely over your head, too intoxicated by his thick cock moving against your walls.

“Oh fuck,” you are face down into your pillows at this point, headboard clanking against the wall. He watches your small frame keeping heavy tempo, watching his dick move in and out of your slick center. It’s obscene, sending his head backwards as he tries to catch his breath.

“Shit baby,” he breathes out heavily, “Look at me,” he commands.

You do your best, turning your head on your cheek, your eyes meeting his swiftly. It’s hard to hold his gaze in this position with your head buried in your pillow, but you manage. Jungkook leans forward on one hand, his chest grazing your back, his lips hovering above your right ear.

“Jungkook,” you say, hardly able to breath under his weight as he keeps his hips snapping deep within your walls. He stops momentarily, slowing down to watch your face contort as he hits the spot in you that you desperately needed relief to.

“Pretty girl,” he kisses the exposed skin on your shoulder with an open mouth, “My pretty girl… does she wanna come?”

You nod quickly into the sheets, unable to hold his gaze as he reaches under you to circle your clit. You jerk in his hold, still sensitive from moments ago, even more so when he suddenly bites down on your skin harshly.

“Ah!” Your half-scream is muffled as he continues his contradicting motions of fast hips yet steady pace of his thumb on your clitoris. He’s always been your best and it never takes long when he’s fucking you. You turn your head once again for some air, pushing yourself up on your elbows as best as you can, knowing your glorious orgasm is fast approaching.

“Jungkook—fuck I’m gonna, come,” your breathy moans makes Jungkook’s cock impossibly harder inside you. There was no way he was going to last long at this point. He wanted to make you feel good and fall apart over him—he fucking lived for it.

You fall apart in his grip, your body losing tension as you fall back into your pillows. You’re clenching around his dick in random spurts, Jungkook’s own moans becoming deep and short, as if he’s trying to hold them in. He only continues to pound into you from behind a few more strokes as he lets you ride out your orgasm. You’re squirming underneath him as its becoming all too sensitive, but you know it could easily turn into another one soon if you pushed through.

Abruptly, he pulls completely out of you. You push yourself back up, looking over your shoulder—“Jungkook?—“

You’re cut off when he grabs you, hands around your waist and tummy, flipping you around so you’re now completely on your back. He loved throwing you around like a rag dog and you obviously let him. In public, you were always the one wearing the pants in your relationship—in the bedroom though, it was completely opposite. You figured that out all those years ago when you first got with him.

The two of you make eye contact at the same time, making your nipples pebble from a chill. The atmosphere shifts in your small room. The tension is dense and you’re unsure of his next move. He runs his tongue inside his mouth, before biting his lip in contemplation. You’ve now fully recovered from your orgasm, your legs already spread for him to come back, but he keeps his gaze locked on yours.

“Scoot back,” he commands softly. You do exactly as you are told, scooting on your elbows, your head falling back on the plush pillow. His face his blushed a soft pink as he quickly follows, positioning himself between your legs comfortably.

He grabs his still harden cock with his tattooed hand, lining it back up with you. You push your hips up and out to ease him in slowly. A gasp escapes both your lips as he slides in inch my inch, his forehead descending against your own.

“Fuck,” he closes his eyes tightly, sucking his bottom lip in as he starts to move in painfully slow thrusts. Nonetheless, he’s still hitting you hard and deep enough for you to keen into him, profanities and moans tumbling out every few seconds.

Your insides are hot and slick and Jungkook feels himself edging closer and closer to his own orgasm. Between the sounds coming from both pairs of your lips, he cannot help himself become overwhelmed in your presence. He knows it’s you—it’s always been you. No one would ever compare to how you make him feel. He doesn’t know why he fucked another girl when he had you waiting at home—arguing or not. He shuts his eyes tightly as a particularly loud moan emits from your mouth, trying to shut out his thoughts too in the process.

He maneuvers your left leg up around his waist so he can feel the deepest parts of your insides.

You’ve now built up a sweat, Jungkook too as both of you focus on pleasuring each other for as long as possible. Above you, Jungkook looks like an angel as he drops to his elbows, nuzzling his head into the crook of your shoulder. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him to pull him closer as he pace against you picks back up. He’s close—his heavy, uneven breathing in your ear being the indicator. You weren’t sure if you were going to come again, but honestly you didn’t mind. All you cared about was helping Jungkook get there, wanting him to come deep inside of you, pushing his come in and out of you as he rides out his high. The thought makes you even wetter, your pussy pulsing around him as his breaths continue to shorten.

Your train of thought is broken when you suddenly feel a wetness appear—dropping—onto the bare skin of your shoulder. You hear a muffled whine coming from Jungkook and you nudge him slightly, one of your hands flying down to his hip to stop his motions.

“Jungkook?” You whisper… was he crying? He fights against your palm as he tries to continue his pace, his face still buried beside yours. “Guk—baby—“

“Fucking stop—“ he groans almost angrily as he pushes himself up to look down at you. You were right—his eyes were stained with tears, pink and slightly swollen around the edges.

“Jungkook,” you push yourself up on your elbows, his hard cock still inside you as he stills his motions, “What’s wrong? Baby, what’s wrong?” You grab onto his face gently, bringing him back down with you.

He doesn’t look at you, keeping his gaze down at your chest. He shakes his head slightly, a tear dropping down on your skin.

“Fuck,” he breathes as he starts to thrust in and out of you again. Your hands relax against his face as pleasure again seeps through your veins. “Fuck—Y/N—“ he pauses, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry—“

His forehead falls against yours, finally looking you in the eyes. He’s fighting a battle in his head and you’re confused at his words until he speaks again.

“I’m so sorry,” he manages as his orgasm is just right there on the horizon, “For ever—everything,” he says, his voice trailing off and breathy.

“Jungkook come inside—please,” you beg, holding him close, your lips grazing his as he thrusts upward each time, “Come on baby, please come for me, it’s okay—“

“Ah—ah!” he stutters as he finally finds his sweet release, shoving his hips as far up as you’ll let him. You push your hips out to help him ride out his high, the sounds from his mouth sending you squirming beneath him looking for another release.

“Fuck,” Jungkook breathes out as he sits up, about to pull out but you grab his wrist before he can.

“Keep it in me, please,” you beg from the tip of your tongue and he nods eagerly. Both of you watch as his penis pushes back inside you. His tip catches over your clit and you jerk beneath him. He does it against experimentally and when a moan falls from your lips. It only takes a minute or two before you come again from his rubbing and despite Jungkook’s oversensitivity—he does it for you. He wants to please you and only you.

Exhausted, Jungkook falls halfway against your frame; one leg and an arm thrown around you, the other half of his body lay flat beside you, his face down in your pillow. You too are now tired, the mattress beneath you calling you in for a nap but with Jungkook right here, you disobey.

“Jungkook,” you nails scratch against his dark purple hair. He keens into your touch, but doesn’t say anything. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head again but this time open his eyes to meet yours. You can only imagine how you look from this angle having to scrunch your neck to properly look down at him. He doesn’t care though, only seeing you for what you are; beautiful and like no one else he’s ever met.

You think he’s about to tear up again as his bottom lip quivers ever so slightly. Jungkook’s about to push himself away from you too embarrassed to look at you, but when you pull him impossibly closer to settle between your legs again, he feels himself calm down some. It still doesn’t change the heavy heart in his chest as he looks down at you. You lean up, indicating what you what and he obliges, kissing you gently.

Your mouths move slowly and synchronously. His weight falls back on you as your head pushes down in your plush pillow, one of his hands caressing your face gently as he fights to pull away.

“I’m sorry for everything,” he barely whispers breaking your kiss to speak. He kisses you again and you hold onto the wrist of that hand that’s caressing your face.

“Jungkook—“

“We had it so good,” his voice breaks off, “And I had to fucking ruin it.”

You furrow your eyebrows, a heavy feeling replacing the lightheartedness that was remnant from your orgasms.

“Jungkook, no,” you shake your head slightly. You were somewhat lying to make him feel better—but you also ruined it too. You could tell he was fighting himself internally about the situation. For months both of you had been fighting yourselves for different things but your relationship was a common denominator.

“I loved you so much,” he sighs out heavily, “I still love you—I don’t know why I did what I did,” he shakes his head angrily at himself, “I wanted everything with you—our dreams, a family—“ he stops himself abruptly.

While he’s not outwardly saying exactly what he did—you know exactly what he is referring to. The painful memories dig a hole in your chest, the shovel piercing your lungs with each blow. The two of you talked for so long about making it big together—eloping off whenever the time was right down the line—having babies—it was what you longed for. You feel your own tears begin to prick in the corners of you eyes, your lip quivering as you inhale a deep breath.

Jungkook is quick to notice, holding onto the left side of your face gently as you bring your two hands up to hold his face close to yours.

“Fuck,” you finally let out some of your anguish, tears rolling down the side of your cheek and on the pillow.

“There isn’t a day that goes go by where I regret everything,” he speaks again, wiping tears with his thumb. “I think about you every second, of every day, and I blame myself for how much I hurt you—“

“Guk stop,” you interrupt him, meeting his intense gaze. His weight was heavy on top of you but nothing was heavier than your heart was feeling. “Please stop blaming yourself—“

“How can I not Y/N?” His tone changes to a slightly defensive one, rolling off your body in the process leaving you a lot colder than before. He lays on his back beside you, staring up at the ceiling as he lets out a deep sigh to control anymore tears from flowing, “If I hadn’t of cheated on you—we wouldn’t be here doing this. Fighting and fucking, pretending to be just friends—“

“Jungkook stop,” you reinforce this time, setting yourself up on an elbow to gaze down at him, “Please stop this, I fucked up just as bad as you and I regret it every fucking day,” you pause again as a sob escapes your lips. Jungkook gaze softens when he sees how broken you are, pulling your body over to his, head resting on his chest.

He lets you quietly cry into his bare chest, his own pit growing deeper than ever in his chest. He’s not sure now is the right time to say what he wants to say, but at this point, he doesn’t care.

“I’m sick of this Y/N,” he says in a whisper, caressing the hair behind your head as you nuzzle into him, your whole body freezing from his words. What’s he going to say? You let out a noise that his representative of a hm before he continues.

“Baby I love you so much,” he forces you to look at him, holding your head in place. Thankfully you had stopped crying, only looking a little tired now. “I will never stop loving you despite everything,” he pauses, “I mean this from my fucking soul Y/N—please, please, can we just stop this and do it for real…”

Your breath halts in the back of your throat as you let out a small gasp. Your mouth goes dry, hands clammy against his bare chest as you push yourself up slowly. A look of panic strikes across his features as he thinks you’re getting up to leave—to run away from him—all over again. His face relaxes when you stay perched on his torso, legs straddling either side of his muscular body, the smallest smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Jungkook…” you finally speak after a couple moments of silence, his thumbs rubbing at the skin where your hip folds in your position. “I don’t—“ you pause, unsure of what to say. You don’t what?

“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it Y/N,” his tone is patient, as if he’s walking on eggshells to test the waters in your response.

You let out a deep breath, your eyes wandering around your room aimlessly. Subconsciously your nails are grazing his chest as you ponder. He’s right once a-fucking-gain; you had thought about it. Nearly everyday since you two broke up. You thought about it when you were sucking another guys cock. You thought about it when another guy was balls deep inside of you. You dreamed about it on a nightly basis. Being with Jungkook was the happiest times of your life thus far. You betrayed each other though—in the worst ways possible—and you were afraid that guilt would never go away and the trust would never come back. It’s why you have had to keep him at an arms length, only using him when you liked—because he had proved you wrong in every scenario since. You wanted your thoughts about Jungkook to be negative—to keep you in that place so you wouldn’t seem like the girl who crawled back to her cheating ex. However, as each day passes on without Jungkook in your life in the way you know he’s supposed to be—you couldn’t care less if you looked that to way to other people.

“Baby say something,” he interrupts your thoughts, snapping you back down to reality. Your eyes meet his chocolate ones; so big and full of life. Jungkook pushes himself up, maneuvering to fully sit up as he continues to hold onto you closely. Your noses brush against each other as he grabs the side of your neck tenderly. You needed Jungkook in more ways than one—but first and foremost, you needed time.

“I love you too Jungkook,” you nod, your words true to your heart, “But—“ Jungkook tenses up beneath you, “I need to think about it… with everything going on, I just need to figure my shit out.”

It’s not the answer Jungkook was hoping for. He stares at you, somewhat lifeless, his heart crushing in his chest. Of course he understands where you’re coming from—after all he was the one to originally pull away those weeks ago in his practice studio. He’s always been a little selfish—a lot fucking selfish—too greedy for his own fucking good. His greed is what lead him to make idiotic choices that turned into lifetime regrets, but this time—he wasn’t going to let greed get the best of him.

“Okay.”

You were expecting him to fight you, but his answer makes you so content you almost regret not jumping all over him again—making him yours again. You restrain though, knowing that he’s respecting your decision to which you are thankful for. If this was going to be on your time, you knew what you needed to do. You were scared that he wouldn’t wait for you forever, but the way he holds you close despite everything—tells you otherwise.

Neither one of you say anything else—unsure of what to say or how to say anything else at this point. It was clear—the two of you wanted to work it out and get back together and you weren’t going to take advantage of him anymore.

It wasn’t long after when you found yourself showering the mess you made off of each other. The innocence didn’t last long when he ends up making you come one more time around his cock, convulsing until he does the same. He makes sure to dry you off gently, skin still sensitive from his touches. He nuzzles into your neck, wrapping his strong arms around your towel covered front.

“Goddamit, Jungkook.”

“What?” He asks, eyes wide and scared he’s done something wrong.

“Your hair,” you can’t help but laugh as you watch the purple hair dye droplets fall onto your collarbone and down to the white fluffy towel wrapped around you.

He chuckles with you, muttering a sorry before grabbing another towel himself to dry his hair. You roll your eyes at his actions, knowing that you were definitely going to have to bleach the fabric a couple times to remove the purple haze. You watch him with domestic eyes, his muscles contracting and relaxing as he moves around your tiny bathroom. This was too real to keep putting up a wall. You couldn’t crack right now though—tonight was the most important night of your life.

The two of you make it back to your room and Jungkook quickly gets dressed in the clothes he came here in. You follow suit, slipping into another pair of shorts and a sweatshirt for the time being. Unable to control yourself, you saunter over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. He returns your hug quickly, resting his head on your own.

“I’m sorry Jungkook,” you mutter into his chest, “I’ve been so horrible to you—“

“Don’t say that,” he replies and he feel him shaking his head, “I forgive you Y/N… I’m ready to move forward whenever you are.”

You smile into his chest, butterflies piling up into your stomach. You’re about to respond but your moments of warmth and bliss are interrupted when you hear the front of your apartment door open. You know immediately that it’s Lisa but your stomach drops when you hear two other voices behind her. Jimin and Hoseok.

“I should go,” Jungkook murmurs as he pulls away from you. You only give him a nod, preparing yourself for the worst as soon as you two walk out of your room.

Your three bandmates are chattering aimlessly around the small dining room table until you appear with Jungkook trailing right behind you.

“Oh Jesus,” Lisa mutters when she sees the sight. Given yours and Jungkook’s wet hair, the three of them have to know exactly what just went down between you him. Fuck.

“H-hey,” you greet your band with a grimace, turning over your shoulder to look up at Jungkook’s pretty face, “I’ll see you later.”

He’s not looking at you as he nods, his gaze focused on the three sets of eyes at stare at you and him. He finds his way out of your apartment, leaving you standing alone a few feet away from your band. You hang your head low, shuffling your feet against the floor to sit down with them at your 4-person table.

“Hey,” Hobi is the first one to speak after the painful silence, “We picked up Lisa this morning and wanted to check in on you after last night.”

“I think she’s doing just fine,” Lisa remarks snarlingly, crossing her arms over her chest as she sits back further into the seat.

“Lisa,” Jimin speaks this time as you roll your eyes.

“What?! You want to make a fucking a scene last night only to turn around and fuck the very guy you were mad at?”

“Fuck you Lisa,” you spit angrily knowing she doesn’t even know the full story. You understand where Jungkook’s temperament came from about you jumping to conclusions.

“Stop it—both of you,” Hobi chimes back in with annoyance lacing his tone, “We shouldn’t be fighting on days like today.”

“Well when the leader of our fucking band doesn’t act like a leader anymore, it’s fucking exhausting,” she glances your way and you shift in your seat uncomfortably. Your leg bounces up and down uncontrollably.

“Jesus fuck did you—“

“No—Lisa’s right guys,” you sigh deeply, “I haven’t been myself the past couple months and I realized that I’ve taken out my anger on the people I care about the most.”

“Y/N,” Jimin says softly; gentle and kind, “But you with your dad and—“

“I can’t keep using that an excuse to hurt everyone around me, I’m even hurting myself by not taking any steps forward,” you finally have the courage to look up from your picked cuticles. You really should paint your nails before tonight. “I’m sorry I haven’t completely been here and I’m sorry for keeping secrets from you guys about helping Jungkook and his band.”

Jimin hangs his head low, a hand running through his hair as he contemplates what to say.

“I didn’t want you guys to be upset with me—“

“Lisa already told us Y/N,” Hobi says and you quickly give her a glare that resembles a ‘really?’.

“There was no point in trying to hide it,” she shrugs her shoulders aimlessly. You breathe in deeply, knowing she’s right. Who were you kidding? There was no point in hiding it. Jungkook was right, Lisa was right—everyone would find out eventually.

“I know,” you mutter, “I just—I didn’t want you guys to be upset with me. I’ve already been absent enough, I didn’t want it to seem like I was abandoning you.”

“I think I—we,” Jimin corrects himself, though you know he actually is referring to himself, “We were just more upset that you didn’t tell us. Yeah it sucks we gotta share you but it’s fine… really Y/N,” he continues and you can’t help but send him a small smile.

“You guys always come first, you know that right?” You reassure. Your dad always instilled in you—once you start something, you finish it. And Violet had a long way to go—quitting wasn’t an option for you.

“Hell yeah,” Hobi smiles, bumping your knee from under the table, “We wouldn’t be here without you babe.”

“Exactly,” Jimin smiles and he grabs your hand, squeezing it momentarily, “Hobi and I are gonna head out but we’ll see you guys later? We’re meeting around five, right?”

The four of you stand up and Hobi comes over to you, sweeping you up in a big hug. All the worries in the pit of your stomach suddenly go away as the room feels 10 times lighter than before. You don’t know why you were always so anxious about everything. You suppose you get it from your dad—always worried about what’s next or what’s going to happen or what will people think of me? At the end of the day, with these people around you who care about you so deeply—you have realized everything will be all right.

“We’re gonna kick Whailen ass tonight,” Jimin says to you, giving you a hug too before he leaves with Hoseok, “Mess up a couple chords if you’re feeling ballsy,” he gives you a wink and you can’t help but laugh at his statement. The thought had crossed your mind during practices with them—but you know in your heart you couldn’t do that to Jungkook, especially Yoongi—he would have you by the throat.

After your drummer and lead guitarist leave, the lighter atmosphere seems to have dissipated when you realize one thing. Lisa had barely spoken to you since she walked in. The way she walks past you and back into her room across the apartment says she’s clearly still upset with you.

“Lisa wait,” you call out, following her footsteps closely. She doesn’t answer you as she roams around her room, gathering what seems to be clothes and underwear to change into. “Are you really still mad at me?”

She drops what she is doing, crossing her arms with a huff, “I’m not mad at you Y/N, I’m just—“ she pauses running a hand through her dark hair, “You know you’re my best fucking friend. I don’t want you and Jungkook to keep crawling back to each other the way you are. It’s toxic and it’s hurting both of you.”

Your posture falls as you mimic her actions, your arms folding across your boobs, “I know,” you nod, “We talked about it this morning—“

“I think you two did more than talk,” she interjects.

You hide a smile, “Regardless—we agreed to work on our communication and move past whatever this is,” you wave your hand aimlessly, “He said he wants to try again.”

She tilts her head, “As in… like get back together?” She asks, a nod coming from your shortly after, “Well what did you say?”

“I said I needed time to think about it,” you shrug.

“Do you actually?”

Her question is somewhat loaded. The look in her big eyes tells you everything she’s thinking. She’s the one person you know—aside from family—who can read you like an open book.

“I don’t know,” you whine, “I just wanna get through tonight and then think about my fucked up love life okay?”

“I won’t argue with you on that,” she tsks,” Whatever is going to make you happy, I’m going to be happy for you. If that’s Jungkook then fine—it’s not my business… just learn from the past okay?”

You nod stepping forward some with your arms outreached. She returns your hug forcefully but lovingly. She’s been there for you since the beginning—it was time you trusted her fully.

“Alright, I gotta shower,” she breaks the hug.

“So you’re not mad at me?” You ask her with big eyes as she gathers her things up.

“No,” she smiles, taking a piece of your now damp-almost dried hair in her fingers, “You showered with Jungkook didn’t you?”

You feel heat rising to your cheeks, a short laugh emitting from you. You swat her hand away, “So what if I did?”

She narrows her eyes at you, slapping your thigh with the underwear in her other hand, “Because I would like to know if I might be stepping on Jungkook’s kids or not.”

You let out a cackle, making sure to flip her off on your way back to your room.

____

You were more nervous than usual. You had barely eaten anything all day, using coffee to suppress your appetite this in turn making you more jittery than normal. Your hands were clammy and your stomach was in knots. There was a lump in your throat and a weight in your chest as heavy as stone. You had probably changed outfits six times. You settled on something different from your usual affair with slips and converse opting for straight legged leather pants that laced up your hips and a cropped tank. Your lips were still painted your signature red, hair a little messy from anxiously running your hands over it so many times.

Violet was scheduled to be the 5th band to go on once the competition started. Whalien 52 was going to be the 8th, giving you a bit of a break before you had to step back out on stage. Each band was given 3 songs to present so you had exactly 6 to perform. Keeping the songs separate in your mind was easy, but actually going out to play the different chords was going to be more difficult. You realized that’s where most of your nerves was coming from—not from your band, but Whailen. You wanted to win, knowing Violet was the best band here, but you also couldn’t fuck up while playing with Whailen. They deserved their chance as much as you.

“Y/N?” Jimin asks, nudging your from your thoughts. In your heels you don’t have to look up at him, looking him directly in the eyes, “You okay?” He knew you were off the moment him and Hobi met up with you and Lisa.

“Just nervous is all,” you dismiss, “A little nauseous but it’ll fade.”

He nods once, throwing an arm around you to pull you closer to him. Currently you and him had wandered off away from your “dressing room” so to speak to check out the venue one last time before the show was to begin.

“I am too,” he says with a short laugh. You only give him a glance knowing that’s a shocker. Jimin was the one in your band who always held it together the best. Looking out at the masses of people gathering at the venue though, it was understandable. The competition was being held at an outside pavilion despite the chilliness being that it was the middle of fall now. You didn’t ask specifically how many people would be here, personally not wanting to know for your own sake, but you had heard close to 4,000. It would be the biggest show you’ve played in your career thus far.

Backstage was hectic with many sound technicians, electrical engineers, other people from bands checking out the audience filing in, and people from Geffen Records sauntering around frantically making sure everything was ready to go. You and Jimin decide on going back to your dressing room, not wanting to be in the way of everyone trying to do their job.

You walk back into the dressing room to find Lisa tweezing Hobi’s eyebrows which you take no surprise to. The sight amuses you, briefly making your forget about the task at hand.

“Lisa I swear to God if—“

“I’m not fucking up your pretty face Hobi I promise,” she remarks as he lets out a yelp of pain.

“When do we go on again?” He asks to no one in particular.

“Fifth,” you answer monotonously going over to your guitar case. You open it up, relaxing once you see the lavender Fender. You briefly considered choosing to play one of your dad’s guitars, but you knew that he would have wanted you to play the one you were most comfortable with.

“Do you guys wanna go—ouch!” Hobi jerks away from Lisa as she giggles, finally leaving his poor face alone, “Watch the others before we go on?” He finishes.

“Sure—“

“No—“

You and Jimin answer simultaneously, yours being the latter. You look over at Lisa who only shrugs, muttering she didn’t care or not.

“How about Hobi and I go watch the first couple and then we’ll come back and get you two? Maybe you should eat something Y/N… warm up your voice and stuff?” Jimin offers graciously.

“Okay, that’s fine,” you give them a small smile as they leave the dressing room, leaving you alone with Lisa. While Jimin’s words were kind, you definitely weren’t going to stomach any food right now that was for sure.

“Have you talked to Jungkook since earlier?”

“No,” you sink down into the small couch, slipping off your shoes for the time being. You meant your words—you had tunnel vision on the competition. Jungkook could wait. You feel around for your phone under your thighs when you feel it buzzing.

“Listen Y/N if it’s going to be too much to play with them, you know you don’t have to,” she offers as she sits down beside you, tucking her legs underneath her.

You give her a short glare, “It’s fine Lisa… I wouldn’t back out on them now.”

You open your phone after you have messages from a few people and a couple missed calls. The calls would have to wait to be returned. But the messages that catch your eye the most are from Jungkook and your mother.

You only faintly read Jungkook’s noticing a red heart at the end of his, focusing on the one from your mother.

[Mom 5:37 PM] Good luck tonight sweetie. Your dad would be so proud of you. I’m sorry I can’t be there, but we both will be in spirit.

You heart leaps. Your mom was not one to approve of your music endeavors as much as your father, so while the message isn’t much; it’s something.

“We got this Y/N,” Lisa grabs your knee, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You grab her hand tightly, knowing she’s been on this journey with you the longest. You know she’s just as nervous as you are the way her hand slightly shakes in yours. We got this.

Down the hall in another dressing room, sits Whailen 52 gathered together in silence. Taehyung was sat on his phone trying to distract himself with a game. Yoongi was relaxed on the couch, stretched out nonchalantly—probably the least nervous of everyone here. Jin was plucking his bass at random, making sure it was in perfect tune. Namjoon was there too; sat at a stool drumming with one stick in hand. Jungkook was sat on the opposite end of Yoongi, foot tapping up and down nervously. He was going between biting his nails and picking at the callouses on his hands. He felt sick. If he ever thought he was nervous before this show—those previous were nothing.

He glances at his phone. 5:57 PM. The first band is about to start after short introductions. Everyone could hear the crowd all the way back down these hallways. He hadn’t dared to wander around to see how many people were actually here. He refused to sike himself out before he even sat down behind the drum kit. Fuck, he thinks, he really wishes he was playing guitar tonight. He would feel a lot more confident than he does right now.

“Y/N and her band are going fifth,” Yoongi says aloud breaking the silence, “We should support her and go watch them…”

Jungkook looks around the room, big eyes waiting for someone else to respond. Namjoon speaks first; “Why?” He remarks.

“Did you seriously just ask that?” Yoongi mutters pinching in between his eyebrows, “He never fucking learns…” he says in a half whisper but Jungkook hears him clearly. “She texted me, she said she’d like us there.”

This—gets Jungkook’s attention. You were texting Yoongi? But not texting him? He pulls out his phone, immediately going straight to his messages with you. Did he overstep with you? Did he finally scare you away?

[Jungkook 4:13 PM] thank you for this morning. good luck tonight. i’ll see you later. ❤️

He shakes his head trying to not let him get to tied up in his intrusive thoughts. It was fine. If he was nervous, he couldn’t imagine how you were feeling. He would see you soon anyway. It was fine.

___

You were standing in the wings of the amphitheater, nerves coursing through your body like heroin convulsing through your veins. It was loud—too loud. The crowd was deafening. The fourth band finished their set to great applause and cheers. Perhaps you had underestimated just how good everyone here was. Lisa, Jimin, and Hobi were all feeling the same. Hobi stood behind you, drum sticks in hand jumping in place to ease some of his energy. Lisa was to your left, Jimin to your right looking out over the crowd.

“Fuck,” Jimin marvels, turning towards you, “You guys good?”

Hobi approaches the three of you, all of them looking to you to say something.

You let out a deep breath, “Yeah,” you pause, “We’re good at what we do, we can do this. My dad always told me if you can dream it, you can do it.”

The four of you give each other one last tight hug before the host says;

“And the next band of the night comes right here out of the city, female-led and impressive as hell—Violet!”

The next few moments are a blur. You are strapping up your guitar and plugging it into the amp cord, walking out onto the biggest stage you’ve ever set foot on, stage lights blinding you for a moment you almost miss how many people are here. Your vision then focuses and your stomach drops once again. The pavilion is huge and in the time you first scoped it out—the crowd had doubled. Everyone is already cheering for you which makes you smile a bit.

You look over to your right, Lisa marveling at the crowd. To your left, Jimin isn’t looking at the crowd, but giving you a reassuring smile. You glance back over your shoulder, Hobi beaming a bright smile to the crowd as he tweaks with the drum set for his liking. Back in the wings, a sound technician gives you a thumbs up whenever for whenever you’re ready.

You turn to your microphone, letting out a deep breath to steady your heart rate. You bite your lip nervously and before you even realize it, you’re speaking and addressing the biggest crowd you’ve step in front of.

“Good evening,” you break a smile, “We’re Violet… I want to dedicate our set to my dad who I know is looking over me right now,” this returns even more applause. The majority of the people must know who you are, or at least who your father is as some in the crowd send you waves of “rock on” hand signs. It calms you a bit and you hope your dad can feel the love.

“Ready guys?” You turn back to your band and they all nod, just waiting on your cue. Hobi counts the four of you in and you begin to strum your guitar. It’s such a simple melody and it’s slower than what the crowd had been used to—but symbolic for you in more ways than one.

“Every time that I sell myself to you… I feel a little bit cheaper than I need to,” you pause for a breath, “I will tear petals off of you, rose red I will make you tell the truth.”

As you sing, you realize that your nervousness is finally subsiding, turning into bubbling adrenaline.

“Was she asking for it? Was she asking nice? Was she asking for it? Did she ask you twice?”

While the crowd isn’t moshing or necessarily jumping up and down with excitement—it’s exactly why you chose this as the opener. You knew it would be different and would make you stand out. It was a risk for sure, but you hoped that it would pay off.

“And if you live through this with me I swear that I will die for you, and if you live through this with me I swear that I will die for you—“

The song picks up and so does your voice—

“Was she asking for it? Was she asking nice? Yeah she was asking for it… did she ask you twi-ice—“

The song finishes after a few more moments of strings and Violet is met with huge applause by the crowd. You give out a smile, looking over to Jimin who gives you a wink. Fuck, this felt good. You could get used to this.

With two more songs to go—you suddenly felt on top of the world. A Violet rendition of Umbrella by Rihanna is what you play next. The crowd appreciates some more upbeat music coming their way and your fingers strum your chords naturally. One thing is for sure—you were made to do this. With your final song starting, you were sad that you couldn’t stay on longer to showcase everything Violet had to offer.

The final song was an important one that took your band a few days to figure out what you wanted to play. You had debated playing an original, but you knew that it would showcase was Violet could bring as band.

You had started writing the song a couple months after yours and Jungkook's breakup but only finishing it recently with your life turn of events. The melody and chords were simple despite the heavy lyrics you came up with at 4 AM one night.

"Why do all of the monsters come out at night? Why do we sleep where want to hide? Why do I run back to you like I don't mind if you fuck up my life."

The crowd seems to instantly enjoy it. The song brings you back to those nights with Jungkook that always ended painfully. You feel as if the two of you had come so far since then which made it a little easier to sing now.

"Tell me pretty lies, look me in my face, tell me that you love me even if it's fake..."

"Dead, thinking about you you're in my head; even without you I still feel dead. Why do I run back to you like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?"

"Like I don't mind if you fuck up my life?"

The songs ends with Hobi clashing against the drums and you feel a weight leave your shoulders. You open your eyes, blinded by the lights again before a smile spreads across your face.

Loud cheers and applause errupts, sending chills down your spine. Your whole band thanks everyone before you exit, the four of you holding hands to bow before you leave the stage. You were sweaty, shaking, and high on excitement. When the four of you exit the stage, you have barely gotten your guitar off when Jimin is scooping you up from behind, Lisa jumping into Hobi’s arms. All of you guys are squealing, out of breath, excited, uneasy—every emotion in the book. You think you might cry when you give thought to your dad being here with you. He would have loved to see you do this.

“That was fucking crazy!” Hobi yells with ecstasy, “Fuck Y/N they loved you holy shit, I haven’t drummed like that in years! Jesus Christ!” He’s talking out of his ass at the moment but you don’t blame him. You on the other hand are mute, unable to process what just happened. Everything went to plan—you sounded so smooth and tight. It was fucking perfect.

Once you get back to your dressing room, you immediately take off your heels to aid your throbbing feet, throwing yourself down on the couch. You weren’t too sweaty, the chill of the evening keeping you at bay, but you still felt hot, sticky, and a bit shaky. Your three other members were continuing to chatter in their excitement but you really had nothing else to say. You knew you did as best as you could hitting every note and chord timely. There was nothing you couldn’t change and you refused to dwell on it, especially when it dawns that you have to go back out and play again soon.

You feel around again for your phone that you had left in room, finding it on the floor charging next to you. You pick it up quickly, realizing you have a new slew of text messages from friends and peers who must be out in the crowd somewhere congratulating you and your band. You make a mental note to answer them later when your mind wasn’t on other things. A new text from Jungkook also catches your eye. You hadn’t texted him back from earlier yet so you tap on his section, reading over it promptly.

[Jungkook 4:13 PM] thank you for this morning. good luck tonight. i’ll see you later. ❤️

[Jungkook 8:18 PM] you were incredible. i’ll come get you before we get ready to go on

You decide to respond by giving him your dressing room number and a quick thank you. The same bundle of nerves begins to stir in your tummy thinking about the new set of chords you need to produce. Jimin and Lisa are packing up their instruments which makes you a little jealous. You wished you could just go out with them and not have to worry about anything else up until they announced the winner of the evening.

“You good Y/N? You haven’t said much?” Jimin comments looking over to you as you curl up on the couch comfortably, scrolling through your phone aimlessly.

“Yeah,” you give him a glance, “Just nervous about the rest of the night.”

He nods promptly, drifting on over to sit beside you. Naturally, you stretch your legs out across his lap, his hands massaging your calves softly. You close your eyes for a moment, trying to block out the sound of the next band playing. You were trying to go through the lists if bands that had yet to go…. Whailen… Femme & Melancholy…. Lithium…. Mayday.

Truthfully the only one you were threatened by was Whailen and Mayday—the latter only being that they were already signed. The irony of feeling threatened by Jungkook and Taehyung’s band when you were about to step foot on stage with them. Knowing both of them for years now, it was the last thing you would have ever thought you would have done.

About an half an hour goes by of sitting with your band reflecting on the past few years together and how much tonight could change all of your lives. You and Lisa are laughing about your first meeting ten years ago and how much you two actually hated each other at first when there is a sudden knock on your door. Everyone gives you a glance and you mutter a quick hold on before you get up, swinging the door open to be met with a soft gaze from a familiar set of eyes.

“Hi,” you greet Jungkook and he gives you a small smile in return. Your hear rate instantly picks up when you make eye contact. He’s stunning as ever.

“Hey,” he says, his eyes glancing back into the room behind you, “You ready?”

Jungkook awkwardly stands at the door as you quickly put your shoes back on in silence. Jimin watches Jungkook carefully from the couch, noticing that Jungkook has yet to take his eyes off you. Jimin never intended to get in the middle of yours and Jungkook’s relationship. What happened between you and him was a one-off occurrence that was a stupid drunken decision. While he was never the biggest fan of Jungkook to begin with—him cheating on you and the pain he caused he—he thought he was helping you overcome him. Now here they are, six months later and you and Jungkook are still as dopey in love as ever; whether you two had admitted it to each other, it wasn’t his business. Jimin truly never has liked you in a romantic way; he admires your talent, your drive, your passions—he just hopes that Jungkook can give you everything you deserve. Frankly Jimin knew you weren’t ever going to let anyone else break down your walls, so he might as well wish you the best.

Jungkook offers to carry your guitar case which you happily let him. Your hands are becoming shaky again thinking about going out to play with a band whom you’ve never been with. Whailen had been together years before Violet could have even been thought about being formed. They were tight and their sound reflected that—you didn’t want it to seem like you were an obvious temporary replacement.

“Do you want us to come watch?” Hobi speaks for the first time since Jungkook came in.

“Please?” You sound like you’re begging at this point but seeing a familiar face out in the crowd wasn’t a want, it was a need right now. Your band wishes you and Jungkook good luck as you leave to begin your trek back down to the main stage.

“Are you nervous?” Jungkook asks as you walk close beside him.

“Mhm,” you mumble, unable to come up with any words. With Jungkook’s free hand, he grabs yours and intertwines your fingers together. He immediately notices how shaky and clammy you are, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“Are you nervous?” You retort his question, finally finding your voice. His touch was comforting and you found yourself leaning into him more when the view of the side stage finally comes into view. You spot Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi all standing by, watching as the current band closes out their final song.

“Shitting bricks as we speak,” he says with a laugh. You give him a nudge of your own reassurance before you join him in a laugh.

“There’s our woman of the hour,” Jin greets you first with a smile. Him and Yoongi look relaxed, but that wasn’t a surprise to anyone.

“You guys did great Y/N,” Yoongi compliments and you thank him quickly, your mind elsewhere. The band on stage, Lithium, wraps up their rendition of Fall Out Boy’s Sugar We’re Going Down to loud screams and praise. Lithium was from another city which is why you personally had no heard much about them. They were pretty damn good from the snippet you heard and the leader singer was quite cute.

Lithium quickly exits the stage to where all of you are standing. They’re all sweaty and panting as they pass you by. Speaking of the leader singer, his eyes find yours and he sends you a quick wink and smirk. He yells an explicit to his band in excitement and it takes you a moment to realize Jungkook’s hand is still squeezing yours, his eyes following the lead singer until he’s out of sight.

“Dick,” he mutters and it makes you smile. As territorial as ever.

Not long after they clear the stage, the announcer is introducing Whalien 52 to the crowd.

“And please welcome another band from the heart of this city—Whailen 52!”

Finally Jungkook drops your hand as he prepares himself grabbing his drum sticks. You situate your guitar across you, a sound technician plugging your guitar in for you this time. Once Whailen is situation, you begin to walk across the stage following Taehyung’s lead. Jungkook separates from your side going to the drum kit and you walk to stage left of Taehyung.

The crowd is just as jarring as the first time you walked across the stage. It’s loud, hot, humid with sweat—nearly suffocating. You look out into the crowd briefly, noticing people closer to the front giving you confused looks. You choose to ignore them, glancing back towards Jungkook who has sat at the drums with an unreadable expression. His eyes meet yours briefly before he turns to look at Taehyung; relishing in the cheers from the crowd with a sly smirk across his lips. You feel as if your heart may beat out of your chest, fingers may drop your guitar pick from the shakiness in your fingertips, your throat going dry in all the same breath. You look across the stage to meet Yoongi’s gaze—it’s soft and comforting. As if he can read your emotions, he nods a couple times, giving you some needed reassurance.

“Thank you, thank you,” Taehyung begins to speak, sending a wink over to someone in the crowd, “We’re Whalien 52 and uh, we hope you enjoy our set.”

Jungkook’s drum sticks counts in three, two one—the first song, a cover of Silverchair’s “Ana’s Song.” Similar to Violet’s set, Whalien agreed on a starting off a little slower, wanting to pick up their vibe as the short set continued. Taehyung’s voice complimented Daniel John’s well as he opens the song with a deep emotion you never knew he had until you began practicing with them last week.

Luckily for you, the chords for the song were easy for you, strumming the chords lightly until it required you and Taehyung to strum heavier together as the chorus picked up. As usual, your nerves have greatly decreased as you feel more content in your element. You find that playing lead with no vocals was definitely less nerve wracking than your normal gig. Sure it was weird not playing in your own band, but this was still fun for you. It will always be fun for you—you couldn’t thank your father for introducing you to your passion enough. The thought of him makes you smile and as the song closes, you let out a heavy sigh of relief. Nerves were nearly zero and you felt confident—a dangerous combination.

Taehyung speaks to the crowd for a moment as everyone continues to yell and cheer for the band. You had to admit, this crowd was one of the best you’ve ever played for. They’re enthusiastic about each band, appreciating everyone for what they bring, and silence hadn’t been an option for them. As you glance over the crowd one more time, your eyes land on Jimin, Lisa, and Hobi. They’re standing to your right, far enough where they couldn’t hear you if you tried to speak but close enough where you could make out their faces. Lisa blows you a giant kiss while Jimin and Hobi gives you reassuring smiles. It brings butterflies to your stomach knowing that they are not mad at you. If anything, they seem more than proud and you couldn’t ask to be a leader for anyone else.

The next song, an original song written by Namjoon and Yoongi—Fake Love—begins to play as you strum your guitar to the beautiful chords. As much of an ass Kim Namjoon could be, he was a damn good song and melody writer. Jungkook soon comes in heavy with the drums and the song is shaping to how it’s supposed to sound. Between the lyrics, the way it slows and picks up, it truly is great. Jungkook even brings in some backing vocals which rounds out everything nicely. As you continue to strum, you glance back at him hitting the drums rhythmically and smooth like butter. You knew playing guitar was one talent—playing the drums was completely different. You had to have groove, stamina, strength, a musicality that wasn’t even on your level. While guitar was definitely yours and Jungkook’s niche, he looked just as comfortable behind the drum kit.

Fake Love is over before you realize it and you end up giving Taehyung a smile which he seems to appreciate. As the lead of a band, compliments and reassurance were never enough. The pressure of it all could be crushing. Your father, while not the lead of the band, experienced pressure all too well and you’re sure it’s one of the reasons he did was he did. You weren’t excusing him for leaving you and your mom alone, but you knew maybe if someone had just told him one more time he was great—he would still be here. You’d be damned if anything like that happened again in your lifetime. You knew exactly was Kim Taehyung was feeling right now and despite this not being your own band—you wanted him to feel what you would want to feel—confident and damn good in his abilities.

The last song—which was the song of your choosing—“Do I Wanna Know” by the Arctic Monkey’s, starts with the iconic heavy drum beat, the crowd clapping along as you come in with the guitar chords soon after.

It had been a personal favorite of yours for years and you knew how well Alex Turner’s voice would fit Taehyung’s deep vocal abilities. Whailen was excited about the song choice when you were first practicing and with the crowd response—it was a good choice.

“Crawlin’ back to you, ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few… cause I always do,” Taehyung sings the words but the crowd as nearly overtaken him in decibel strength. “Maybe I’m too, busy being yours to fall for somebody new—“

For whatever hell-stricken reason, with these lyrics, you glance back at Jungkook who surprisingly is already looking your way. His gaze catches your breath and you nearly mess up a chord, nearly playing an Am where it should have been an Em. You don’t feel nerves looking at him, but you feel something. A fire deep within your gut, tingles down your spine, lips dry from your mouth being slightly parted. When you had chosen this song for Whailen, you and Jungkook hadn’t fucked and discussed getting back together. You can’t help but feel the irony as Taehyung sings the song with as much burning fire that’s in your and Jungkook’s relationship. You have to look away before you truly fuck up the song.

“Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways… was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay, the nights were made for saying things you can’t say tomorrow day…too busy being yours, ever thought of callin’ darlin’… crawling back to you…”

The song ends to loud and eruptive cheers, each member of Whalien letting out a visible sigh—shoulders falling in relaxation. Yoongi and Jin give each other a big hug from the opposite side of you where you stand. The five of you gather in the middle of the stage to give a final bow to the crowd. You feel like you can finally relax, knowing your night of playing music is finally over.

“Thank you all again! And thank you to Violet’s wonderful lead, Y/N for helping us out with this set!” Taehyung’s last words in the microphone surprise you, but you’re grateful for them.

As all of you exit the stage, you hand your guitar to a sound technician and before you can register anything, you are lifted from the ground, strong arms gripping you tightly. You squeal slightly but the tattooed arm around your front eases you. Jungkook sets you down and you turn around, to give him a proper hug. Both of you are sweaty but you couldn’t care less considering what you two got into this morning.

“Thank you thank you thank you,” Jungkook rambles into your ear as he picks you up again for a moment. When sets you down, your hands hold the sides of his face gently and you give him a smile, “Your dad would be so proud of you.”

In words make your heart swell. His words from this morning play over and over in your head. “Let’s just stop this and do it for real.”

Both of you stare for what feels like an eternity, the noise of everything around you drowning out, making it seem as if it’s just the two of you. You know exactly what your answer is and you’re about to give him that by leaning in, touching his nose to yours. Unfortunately, he breaks away first, giving you a small smile before he turns to Taehyung, giving him the biggest brotherly hug you’ve ever seen. You look down in disappointment but you also understand now isn’t the time or place.

You end up hugging Yoongi, with him uttering a million thanks into your ear as well.

“You’re seriously the best Y/N—a fucking rockstar,” he beams his gummy smile at you, “Goddamn I can’t believe we did that.”

“Y/N—“

Your name falls out of Namjoon’s mouth, who has appeared from wherever he watched the set. You give him a small smile, the wall that you build around yourself every time he walks in your vicinity naturally coming up.

“Hey,” you greet him.

“I just wanna say I can’t thank you enough for doing this,” he pauses scratching the back of his beanie covered head, “I know I’ve been a dick to you and I honestly just didn’t want to admit how bad I fucked up and I didn’t want to admit how talented you actually are.”

“Oh,” you’re shocked by his words, the wall coming down slowly.

“I thought you were just handed everything but I hadn’t stepped back and thought about what you’ve actually been going through and I know I’m rambling, but fuck just thank you so much.. Even if we don’t win, we couldn’t have done this without you.”

A feeling of warmth radiates through your veins and you being you, you pull Kim Namjoon of all people in for a hug. Though it’s short, he gladly returns it with a squeeze around your frame. Jungkook was right. No matter what happens—your dad would be proud of you and you knew you had made the right decision.

After about twenty minutes back in the waiting rooms backstage, you follow Whalien out into the crowd to find your bandmates. Lisa is the first to greet you with a big hug. Violet and Whailen stand together in harmony; Taehyung talking to Hobi, Lisa chatting with Yoongi, even Jimin and Jungkook exchanging nice words with each other. You realize that you and Jungkook had barely talked since the set ended and you can’t help but notice the hardened look on his face as he watches the last band performing—Mayday, close out their set. Mingyu and his band are damn good and you can only hope that their former accolades aren’t enough to overshadow Violet, or Whailen for that matter.

You make your way over to Jungkook through the tight squeeze of the crowd, nudging him slightly when you approach his right side. He glances down at your frame before pulling you close by throwing an arm around your shoulder. Again, it’s like the world stops and just you two as you look up at him. You had changed into some white sneakers when you had went backstage, returning to your normal height against his frame.

Before his eyes turn back to the stage, he presses his lips against your temple.

“How’re you feeling?” You ask him close to his ear so he can hear properly.

He shrugs, “Nervous,” is all he says. It’s enough for you to nod in understanding. When Jungkook went quiet, it wasn’t personal and it was just something you had to deal with. You felt nervous too, knowing that your entire future could change within the next 20 minutes.

The two of you hold onto each other’s side as Mayday leaves the stage once they're finally finished. The lights change on the stage, the crowd gets even louder, and you can sense your chest tensing up. It’s not until when the host of the competition, along with a few executives from Geffen Records step out onto the stage. A younger man holds an envelope, whilst an older man grabs the microphone from the host after some introductions.

“Thank you all for coming,” the older man, a senior international executive at the record company speaks with confidence. “We have been spoiled tonight with so many amazing performances from some amazing bands. With a record deal, one band will change forever after tonight but if there’s anything I’ve learned in my career of 30 years in the music industry—don’t give up on your dreams. If you want it to happen—make your shit happen.”

Someone—Lisa intertwines her hand with your right hand, Jungkook holding onto your left hand. Jimin and Hobi are tense; Taehyung is looking at the ground with his eyes closed; Namjoon and Jin look antsy; Yoongi looks stoic as he stares at the stage with slightly parted lips, squinting to focus his vision.

You try to force a smile to calm yourself, to tell yourself everything is fine—you got this. Violet was damn good. It had to work out—there was no other options. Your chest swells and your hands are clammy, but you know you deserve this more than anyone else here. You had built your whole life around this moment, the chance to make music until the day you die, the chance to become the next star, to carry on your father’s legacy—it would have to work out.

As the younger executive hands over the envelope and the whole crowd yells in anticipation.

“And the winner is—!”

It seems as if the world stops. Your chest falls, smile fading into the background of all the noise. You feel a lump form in your throat, nausea rushing to your stomach. Your knees nearly cave in, weak from the reality that’s hit you.

“—Mayday!”

_____

Back in the dressing room it’s silent. The band is packing everything up in defeat. You parted from Jungkook and Whailen for them to do the same. You no longer felt sick to your stomach. Only sadness and a little bit of anger. You kept thinking about what you could have done differently—played this song instead of that one, worn your usual dresses and sneakers, done this, done that. It was no use. Violet had lost. Whailen had lost. And you were back to square one.

Noticing your demeanor, Jimin wraps his arms around you protectively. You return his hug, feeling exhausted and weak. The only thing you wanted to do was go home and cry yourself to sleep. No tears had sprung yet, but you knew once you were alone, they would be ever flowing until the morning.

“I’m sorry guys,” you finally speak into Jimin’s chest. He looks down at you with concern.

“For what?” He asks; Hobi and Lisa turning to the two of you.

“I failed you guys,” you shake your head, pushing away from him to stay at an arms length.

“Oh my god, absolutely not,” Lisa consoles, swatting her hands aimlessly. She pulls you into a tight hug, Hobi and Jimin following suit where the four of you were holding on only to each other.

“Y/N you’re the best fucking leader we could ask for,” Hobi says, “Just because we didn’t win this stupid competition doesn’t mean our lives are over.”

“Yes it does,” you whine and you can only make out Jimin’s giggling.

“No it doesn’t,” he says, “Because we’re going to make shit happen.”

This ends up breaking you into a smile, glancing between your members. They’re not even bandmates at this point—they’re your family.

“Fuck, I love you guys,” you say. The four of you continue your group embrace and perhaps Jimin is right. You’re Violet—you’re Krist Vedder’s daughter—and most importantly, you’re you. You make shit happen.

It’s a little after midnight when you and your bandmates leave the venue. You’ve changed into a comfortable sweatsuit and large jacket to accommodate for the chilly weather. You didn’t realize how cold it actually was being on stage with the adrenaline and lights.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with us?” Hobi was begging you to join them for a drink but with the depressive state your mind is in, you know that would end terribly for you.

“I’m good guys, I promise. I honestly just want to go home and sleep,” you say again. “When are you going to be home?” You ask Lisa.

Her hair pulled into a high ponytail, she smirks, “I’m meeting up with Baekhyun, so I might not be back until tomorrow.”

“You’ve been staying with him a lot,” Jimin says warningly with a raised brow. Lisa’s face scrunches up, turning slightly pink.

“Oh shit, my Uber’s here! I’ll see y’all later!” She runs off down the street to an SUV pulling up to the curb. The three of you wave her off ensuring she gets into the car safely.

“How are you getting home?”

“I may just walk,” you say with a shrug to your shoulders. Was it cold and a little too late for you to be walking by yourself? Yes. But your mind was racing at a million thoughts. You needed to calm yourself before the wave of emotions finally hit you.

“Y/N,” Jimin furrows his eyebrows.

“What? I just need some time to think,” you tell him honestly. “You know my place isn’t far from here anyways.”

“We know, it’s just—“

“Y/N?”

A third male voice says your name from behind the three of you. You immediately know who it is before you even turn around. Jimin and Hobi’s eyes meet Jungkook’s before yours do. As you turn around, Jungkook approaches the three of you, hands shoved into his black jacket, his hair shoved underneath a black cap.

“Hi,” you greet him with a small smile, an inner warmth radiating at the sight of him. Suddenly, all your worrisome thoughts seemed to wane, now only focusing on the man in front of you.

“Hey guys,” he nods to your two bandmates, his soft gaze then falling to you. He looks much more relaxed and poised than the last time you spoke. Neither one of you said anything to each other when Mayday was announced at the winner, parting backstage in silence.

“What are you still doing here?” You ask noticing that he’s all by himself.

“I was uh, waiting for you,” he clears his throat awkwardly and your heart lurches at the thought, but stiffens thinking about him waiting out in the cold for so long just for you.

You glance at your bandmates, who are looking between you and Jungkook curiously. Hobi and Jimin aren’t stupid—they can sense an unspoken tension between you two and they decide it’s best to leave you two be.

“Get her home safe man,” Jimin nudges Jungkook’s arm with his elbow, before giving you a small smile, “See ya later Y/N.”

You wave them off and it’s soon just you and Jungkook outside the venue pretty much all alone. You turn back to him, looking up at his frame.

“You okay?” You ask him, wrapping your arms around your frame as a chill goes down your body. A soft smile spreads across his face before he’s grabbing your hand, pulling you in the opposite direction of your apartment.

_____

Jungkook drags you to a convenience store where the two of you currently sit on a sidewalk, sharing a cup of piping hot ramen and cuddled up to each others side to keep warm. He slurps the noodles quietly and you can tell there’s something he’s not saying. You don’t know whether to push him or leave it be. At the moment, you decide on the latter.

“We used to do this all the time,” you say, bringing up memories of the first few months of yours and Jungkook’s relationship. The two of you managed to find yourself at convenience stores, eating junk or buying alcohol after long nights of band practice or gigs. 18 seemed so long ago and you two seem like such different people now. Honestly though—it’s a good thing. Growing up can be hell, but you and Jungkook are proof that you have to grow the fuck up to get to a healthy place.

Jungkook smiles with a chuckle, “I know, I think I used to eat my body weight in ramen as a teenager,” he pauses looking at the last bit of noodles and broth. He looks at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes that you love so much and you nod with a small laugh. He grins before eating the last of the food. He sets down the cup before letting out a deep sigh of relief.

You lean into his left side, one of his hands resting on your leg to pull you closer to him. It’s comfortable and it feels like home.

“You’ve been so quiet since the competition,” you mumble, opting to push him a little.

He sighs deeply, gaze still forward, “I guess I’m still processing everything,” he says with disappointment in his tone. You nod into his shoulder. You understand completely. You felt like you had built a glass house that had been shattered by a giant rock.

“I’m sorry,” is what you offer, looking up to his side profile. He glances over at you, his eyebrow piercing catching the street light for a moment.

“I’m sorry too,” he says, dropping his head slightly, “Though there wasn’t much we could do about it.”

His tone implies something—you don’t know what—but something. Almost accusatory. Furrowing your brows, you ask what he means.

He lets out a sarcastic laugh in response, “The competition was fucking rigged.”

You grip loosens on his arm some, your face draining any color left, mouth going dry. You nearly push back and say that’s ridiculous, but you stop yourself. As you had been working on with your therapist, you hold your tongue instead of jumping to conclusions. Why would Jungkook lie about that? What does he have to gain by saying that without any reason to back it up?

“Where did you hear that from?”

He rolls his tongue across his teeth; a habit he’s had for as long as you’ve known him. “Mingyu himself,” he laughs in disbelief, “Told me after I went to congratulate him.”

“That… sucks,” you don’t even know what to say. You felt numb; unsure of how exactly to feel. More sadness? Anger? Disappointment? Resentment?

“Apparently Geffen had eyes on Mayday for the past few months, but their small label wouldn’t sell Geffen any of their original masters unless they agreed to ensure Mayday won the battle of the bands,” Jungkook continues with details that you didn’t ask for, but you were appreciative for the information. It makes logical sense. Your dad had always educated you about expenses within the music industry and owning an artists masters was the most sought after position to have. Michael Jackson didn’t even own his own music.

“Well fuck,” you mutter, now able to pinpoint the one emotion rising in your body. “Is it weird that I feel somewhat relieved?”

Jungkook looks at you with a confused expression, “Uh—yes?”

“Think about it Guk,” you sit up a little bit to face him, “Would you want to be signed to label who can be bought off that easily? Over a battle of the bands competition with underground punk bands?”

Jungkook licks his lips with a small smile, “Well when you put it like that,” he can’t help but laugh at you some. His heart swells when he finally looks into your eyes—really looks into your eyes—since you’ve made the journey to the damn convenience store.

You find yourself unable to look away from him. He was your everything for so long and you’ve figured out with some time and space he still is your everything. No one will ever replace him. No one will ever make you feel the way he does. And you needed him to know that. You lean in, his lips meeting yours halfway. It’s as if you’re transported to the first night you met—sparks buzzing inside you as you move your lips against his. He cups the left side of your face gently and you hold the back of his head, scratching the base of his neck the way he likes.

“Jungkook,” you pull away, leaving little to no room between him and you, “I’ve thought about what you said this morning and you’re right,” you pause glancing down at your lap briefly to catch your breath. You’ve never felt this vulnerable with him but he had perhaps been the most open he’s ever been with you this morning. It’s your turn.

“I’ve thought about you everyday for nearly four goddamn years and I—I don’t want to stop. You were my best friend for so long and you still are my best friend. I want you in my life no matter what but I do want to be with you—I want to try again with you. Learn from our stupid, immature mistakes and find the best path for us,” you think he’s about to interrupt you but you shake your head quickly, “I started going to therapy and uh, it’s really helped me figure out why I’ve been acting the way I am and why I treated you so poorly. I’m still navigating through everything but I love you so much Jeon Jungkook and I don’t want it any other way.”

Jungkook stares at you blankly for a few moments, processing each word you’ve said. Without saying anything he embraces you in a tight hug, feeling a happiness he hasn’t felt in a long time. Not only does he feel happy; he feels calm; he feels excited, dopey, and in love. He couldn’t give a shit about the band competition. He has you. That’s what he needs.

“I love you so much Y/N,” he says into your hair, “I’ve been going to therapy too,” he pauses and you smile into his warm embrace. “I’ve made stupid, horrible mistakes, and I’ve hurt you so much and I’m working my shit out too but I hope that you’re willing to grow and grow old with me.”

He gets all the answer he needs when you kiss him silly again. “You’re not asking you to marry you, are you?” You pull away with a pointed look.

He laughs pecking your lips again, pulling you to sit on top of his lap, “Not yet babe, we gotta make it big first so I can buy you the big ass rock you deserve.”

You giggle, rolling your eyes, “You could propose with a ring pop and I would love it.”

Jungkook raises his pierced brow at you before an idea pops into his head. He kisses your forehead before he mumbles to stay put. He runs back into the (thankfully) 24/7 convenience store and you can’t help but grin, already knowing what he’s going to come back with.

As Jungkook opens up the candy wrapper, slipping the clunky piece of candy on your left ring finger, you feel yourself beginning to cry. This is what almost brings tears to your eyes—not losing the band competition—this—because this is what really matters.

“This is very punk,” Jungkook smiles, admiring the blue ring of candy before kissing your lips chastely. You manage to get rid of the tears springing in your eyes by batting your lashes quickly.

“Very Kurt and Courtney,” you add with a small smile. Both of you exchange one more I love you before he leans in again and you find yourself having the best kiss you’ve ever had with your one and only, on the frigid sidewalk in front of a nasty convenience store.

With one last smile against your lips, he says, “Baby they have nothin’ on us.”

Record deals come and go. Real love doesn’t come and go. Once you find it you have to be careful with it; you may never find it again.

[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 2 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 8.9k

>>warnings: romantic ass eating 😐, oral (m), fingering (m/f), butt stuff but it’s SEXY, explicit sex, crying, jungkook likes to be praised, soft koo, dom reader... but like soft, spitting in mouth, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, this is so soft, that good smut, literally like 7.5k of filth

>>notes: hot girls eat ass!! oc is a hot girl!! this involves butt stuff (just mouth and fingers, no pegging 😔), so if that isn’t ur cup of tea just read pt 1 again lol, i separated it this way in case there were people who weren’t down to go down... iykyk. but with that said, i encourage u to open ur eyes and ur mind and give this a chance 🤩

>>summary: jk finally lets you eat his ass 😁👍🏻

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

It’s day 6 of trying to get Jeongguk to let you eat his ass. It’s getting hard to function, and the sun doesn’t shine as bright as it used to. The week has been a rough one, filled with clenched butt cheeks, and fewer blow jobs than normal. You just can’t seem to stop yourself from wandering south when you’re down there, so you’ve lost the privilege. Constantly met with Jeongguk’s laughter filled eyes when he pulls you up to where you’re supposed to be, and a “You should not want to eat my ass this bad.”

He just doesn’t understand.

Currently you’re sat in the cafeteria with your friends, your eyes consistently roaming to a table across the large room. He’s laughing at something and his hands are clapping in front of him as he throws his head back. You rest your head on your arms, pouting, and you breathe a deep and miserable sigh.

“Alright y/n what the fuck?” Your friend Yuna says, flicking your cheeks.

Her speaking up causes a few of your other girlfriends at the table to direct their attention towards you. “Yeah, you’ve been like... pouty for the last few days. What’s going on?” Cho questions as well.

You debate keeping the silly internal struggle to yourself before giving in and stating plainly, “Gguk won’t let me eat his ass.” You blow absently at a piece of hair that falls into your face, eyes crossing as you look at it. Next to you, Jiwoo chokes on the zero cal drink that she’s been sipping.

Yuna stares at you blankly for a moment before recovering. “That’s... well that’s a predicament.” She hums in thought. “Does he actually not want to or is he just being shy and stubborn?”

“Second one.” You say. You’ve known your boyfriend for years and you’ve definitely learned how to tell when he’s being serious and when he’s just being stubborn. If you really thought he wasn’t about it you would have dropped it. But you know Jeongguk’s just being difficult because he thinks it’s funny to make you pine, and actually has at least some curiosity about the act. He just won’t admit it.

“Minjun was the same way,” Cho nods in solidarity. “But he likes it now.”

“How’d you get him to change his mind?” You ask perking up. A beacon of hope.

“We watched porn of it together.”

“That’s how I discovered it!” You gasp.

You pull your phone out to text your boyfriend.

you:

minjun let’s cho eat his ass 🥺

You watch Jeongguk from across the room and see the moment he receives the text. He searches the lunch room before his eyes land on yours and he let’s out an incredulous harsh laugh, before shaking his head slightly to himself. You glance at your phone and see the text bubble appear in your messages.

koo 🥴:

maybe he’ll let you eat it too 🥺

You gape at your phone and look at your boyfriend only to see him talking to his friends again. He gives you a side glance and you see his smile grow bigger as he tries to ignore you.

~~~

Jeongguk’s sitting at his lunch table picking at the food in front of him listening as Jimin rambles about the not-so-great grade he got on his latest science test. “Why the fuck do I need to know that the sun will make it too hot for life to exist on earth in a couple billion years? Not only will I be dead, but that is just anxiety inducing.”

His phone that’s vibrating on the table catches his attention, a picture message from you on the home screen. He gets a little excited at the sheer potential that a picture message has and opens it eagerly. Sure the chances of getting a titty pic when it’s mid-day and you’re both in the middle of a lunch cafeteria are small... but they are never zero.

When he opens the message and sees the picture, he laughs loudly before clapping his hand over his mouth to quiet himself.

baby 🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

He’s about to respond when Taehyung says, “Alright, you can’t keep laughing at your phone and not tell us what’s so funny.”

Jeongguk looks at the couple in front of him a trace of a smile still lingers on his lips. He shows them what you sent. “Y/n wants to eat my ass so bad.” He laughs to himself, going back to his phone.

“Are you not letting her?” Jimin asks.

Jeongguk sets his phone to the side before he gets to respond. It’s clear his friends are ready to have a conversation about it. “I don’t think so.”

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other and smirk. “Why not? It feels really good.”

He looks between them silently before asking, “You’ve done it?” He receives two nods.

“This one’s a real ass-muncher.” Taehyung says jerking a thumb at his boyfriend. Jimin swats at him.

“He says like that like its a bad thing and like he doesn’t cum from just my mouth and my fingers.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

Jeongguk tenses and turns a little red. A little tremor of heat coursing through his body at the thought of feeling so good that he could cum without even having a hand around himself. “Just from that? No dick touching? Is that even possible?”

“Oh to be straight and oblivious to the wonders of butt stuff.” Jimin pouts at him like he feels bad for him.

Taehyung on the other hand is a bit more helpful. He pops a fry in his mouth and talks with his mouth full, “It’s possible. We have like a button in our ass that’s like... magic. You know what a prostate is right?”

Jeongguk scoffs. “Obviously.”

“Okay well let her put her fingers and tongue in your ass then, if you know so much about it. Have you eaten hers?”

“Yeah I’ve had my tongue in every crevice of that girls body.” He’s nodding and smiling like he’s proud. He glances at you, and he sees you huddled next to your friend, looking closely at something on her phone, your long hair falling like a curtain over your shoulder, some pooling on the table. You look so pretty. You feel his stare, and look at him. Your smile is soft, and your lips pucker in a little kiss. Chuu.

“Right,” Jimin says bringing Jeongguk back to the topic at hand, “Well if she let you, and you’re open to it you should let her... like it will actually feel better for you than it probably did for her.” Jeongguk looks like he’s about to defend his honor and sex skills, before Jimin cuts him off, “Not saying you didn’t do it right or whatever. It’s just that guys are like programmed to like it... like biologically or- something.”

“Or something.” Jeongguk repeats.

“Why don’t you want to in the first place? Is it because you think it’s gay?” Taehyung asks laughing, knowing that that’s not why.

Jeongguk gives him a bored deadpanned stare. “No. Maybe it’s because I shit out of my ass and don’t want her mouth near it? She’s perfect, she doesn’t deserve that.”

Jimin cackles. “Well it’s not like you just let her go for it! You have to prepare.”

Jeongguk sits and listens as his friends give him nothing less than a full comprehensive lecture on the logistics of ass eating and ass getting ate. Ass 101. He’s still unsure but hearing from guys who have actually done it and enjoyed it makes him feel a bit more open and curious. It has him pulling out his phone and tentatively typing out a text to you, finally replying to the picture you sent.

me:

i’m thinking about it

He watches you, waiting for the text to get to you. He smiles when he sees you get excited at seeing his name on your home screen, something warm blossoming in his chest. He struggles to keep his face straight when he sees your head whip up, looking at him wide-eyed like you can’t believe what he just texted you. His fingers wiggle in a small wave, and the biggest smile slowly crawls across your face. He receives one last message before lunch ends.

baby 🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

say less, sir 🤤

~~~

Jeongguk lays on his back patiently, looking down at you below him while you take your time planting soft kisses all the way down his body. He was in a quite docile mood considering all the pestering you’ve put him through the past few days. And despite what you both knew you had planned for him. Something he claimed to be nervous about, but you supposed one could be nervous and excited and pliant all at once.

When you take one of his nipples into your mouth he lets out a soft “oh...” his hands flying up like he wants to wrap them in your hair, hold you there till he’s pleased, but he catches himself when his arms are halfway raised. He brings them back down by his sides, fists the sheets like he’s holding himself back, like he wants to be good for you. As you lick and suck on the paired nipple, feeling it pebble in your mouth, you watch  Jeongguk’s mouth fall open silently while his eyebrows furrow and a wrinkle of pleasure forms between them. His cock is steadily going from warm and plump to hot and hard and leaking, you can feel it twitch against your lower belly.

He opens his eyes to watch you and you can see his pupils are blown and you smile up at him, a tiny bud still pulled between your teeth and Jeongguk whines. A high pitch needy, breathy noise falls from his lips before he pulls his bottom one between his teeth. His head turns to the side, baring his neck in subconscious submission, and God. He doesn’t get like this often but when he does? He is the prettiest sight.

Heat pools in your belly and your panties are already sticking to your bottom half. You hum before moving your ministrations to his torso, soft wet open mouth kisses being placed any and everywhere, prolonged ones on each of his abs. He works so hard for his body, his physique. It’s something he does for himself, but you feel lucky that you get to see him like this in all of his glory.

“Thank you.” You say as you place a kiss on the tattoo he has on his hip bone.

He hums, “For what?”

“For letting me see you like this,” You finally wrap a hand around his cock. You bite your lip when you feel it jump in your palm, “For letting me explore today. You’re so sexy, and so lovely, and so perfect. You work so hard, baby.” Kisses, so many kisses planted over his groin area, but never where he wants it most.

He huffs and you can see a flush from embarrassment darken the already present flush of arousal, due to the praise and mention of exploring. He squirms in your hold, not wanting to talk, probably wishing you would just get on with it already. Surely you can feel him throbbing in your hand, right?

Finally, you bring your lips to his frenulum and place the softest kitten lick to it and Jeongguk positively keens in your hold. You stroke his cock, squeezing on the upstroke to watch a bead of precum well at the top. It glistens, shiny and clear, at the pink head. You wrap your lips around the tip fully, lapping and swirling your tongue over it, humming at the heady, slightly bitter taste on your tongue. It’s not particularly pleasant per se but it’s sexy. The fact you get him so worked up that his cock can’t help but leak, so worked up that he can’t help the soft little whines that fall from his lips; the fact that he gets so turned on and hard and wet just from a few of your kisses and licks makes you moan with his cock in your mouth, thighs squeezing together for some type of pressure and relief.

You pop off with a harsh suck. “I can’t wait to taste you.” You groan, licking a broad stripe up his cock with the flat of your tongue.

He grumbles quietly shifting, sort of like he’s antsy and frustrated. He knows what you mean and he knows you don’t mean his cock that you just had in your mouth.

“What was that?” You ask through a smile, nipping at his hip with your teeth.

“Can you stop talking about it and just suck my dick so I can forget you’re even gonna do that?” He rolls his eyes and pouts down at you with a tiny scowl on his face.

“Oh baby,” You laugh, not patronizingly, but there is a little bit of a teasing lilt to your voice, “Are you still embarrassed?”

He doesn’t answer, just scowls harder if that was even possible.

You move away from his cock, and up his body. His eyes reflect panic and his hands finally move from the sheets to press on your shoulders, trying to keep you in place. “No, stay,” he whines.

You laugh again pushing against his hold before finally settling half on his chest. You rest a leg over his thigh, keeping your body close and pressed to his. You look into his big brown doe eyes that are slightly glassy from all the teasing. You can see some apprehension and nervousness swimming in them as you place a hand on his cheek, stroking softly. He closes his eyes and nuzzles into your palm before his hand comes up to hold your wrist, to just touch some more. His other hand runs up and down your body that’s resting half on top of him, tickling slightly like your the one that needs attention. He kisses your hand that’s on his cheek softly before looking at you again.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” You say quietly, thumb brushing over his cheek bone.

His eyes fall closed again and you can see his brow furrow once more, though this time it isn’t out of pleasure it’s because he’s thinking. Despite all the playful teasing and pestering and banter, you’ve always made sure to check that he was actually okay with you going down there. And, yeah, he was nervous but after talking about it seriously and doing some research together he always said he was fine with it. But you know things can change in the moment and you just want to double check, make sure that he still feels that way.

You hum in question gently, prompting a response.

He huffs, tightening his grip on your wrist, a nervous gesture. His eyes are still closed when he quietly says, “No I just... I- I’m not like backing out...”

“You can though.” You interrupt.

His eyes open quickly, and he shakes his head. “No, no I want to I just...” His voice starts off strong but tappers into a softer tone. “I want to I just feel a bit like... weird.”

Your brow furrows this time. “Why, baby?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t want you to.” He doesn’t meet your eyes and you can feel his cheek heat up in your palm.

Ahhhh, you think. Although you talked and teased about the topic, you realize that while Jeongguk agreed (whilst impishly feigning a faux diswant on principle) you never realized that the lighthearted “You shouldn’t want to eat my ass this bad” remarks may have stemmed from something serious, and weren’t just playful protests.

“Why do you feel that way?” You press gently.

His eyes flicker to you and then to your mouth, then back to something (nothing) off to the side. He has a small not-so-amused smile on his lips when he says, “It’s kinda taboo isn’t it?”

You can’t help but giggle at the word he used. Taboo. Out of all the things you guys have done, this is what he chooses to get shy about. Sweet boy.

“Not any more tabooo than you wanting to eat my ass, or fuck my ass.” You hum at him, stretching out the word in a teasing manner, making him look at you. You smile at him before continuing, “Or you like slapping me, or me gagging you with my panties, or-“

“Okay okay! I get it.” He laughs and places a kiss to your lips to get them to stop moving.

You beam, glad to see he’s a bit more relaxed. The boner however, is definitely gone, but that can be fixed.

“I’m not trying to convince you though.” You emphasize, “I only want to if you want to.”

He nods, softly smiling at you. “I want to.”

A salacious grin takes over your face and you sigh softly into his ear before whispering, “Perfect... I’m going to make you feel so good baby, make you feel so good with my tongue. Get you all whiny and red and sweaty. Maybe your legs will start to shake from how good it feels? Do you want that, Jeongguk?” You nip at his ear lobe as you feel a slight tremor run through his body. Your hips subtly roll against the side of his body, seeking any friction at this point. You feel him nod. “Maybe if you like my mouth enough we can use fingers when you’re ready baby.” You hear him suck in a sharp breath and slowly let it out on a shaky exhale. You grin and place a kiss to his temple before continuing. “Get them inside of you to find that spot that will really set you off. The spot that will make you cum for me. Wouldn’t that feel so good baby?”

He nods again and you can feel the hand that has been running up and down your back throughout the conversation grip at your ass roughly.

“Say it baby, I wanna hear you.”

He whines and struggles against the hand on his face that is now gripping his jaw, still putting up a little bit of a fight about wanting something he considers “taboo”. But he gives in easily enough when he realizes you won’t continue until you get more confirmation that he genuinely wants this, and is excited to have it.

“It’s gonna feel so good y/n. God, you’re gonna make me feel so good.” He’s shy when he says it, but he’s almost panting as well. At last, he’s giving in and admitting to himself that this is something that will feel good and is okay to want.

He grips your face and kisses you. It starts slow and tentative but quickly manifests into a kiss that is deep and hard, one that is full of lust and neediness. He bites at your lip needing to release some of the pent up frustration but at your whine of pain he licks over it apologetically, placing softer kisses instead for a moment before he rests his forehead against yours, both your breathing is ragged for a minute until he speaks up.

“Please y/n. I’m so hard.” He pleads in a soft whisper.

You take a second and look down between your bodies and sure enough, his cock has returned to full hardness, and your mouth waters seeing even more precum welling at the tip than before.

“I’m gonna suck it.”

“Please do.” Jeongguk laughs as you move down his body, but the laugh goes high pitched and breathy when you take him down your throat immediately.

“Fuck...” he sighs, his head falling back and eyes fluttering.

You pull off and close your eyes, relishing in the fact that you can make him feel like this. Grinning against his cock you place a kitten kiss to the shaft. “Good baby?”

He nods his head. “Yes yes, please keep going.”

You hum against the head causing Jeongguk to exhale sharply, hips twitching due to the vibrations. He’s so sensitive and you crave the reactions you pull from him. Whether they’re the soft noises and the small twitches or the loud moans and jerking muscles, they are all equally loved and desired.

Quickly you pull off and reach up placing your hand under his mouth, before he can protest at you pausing again. Maybe you’re being a little mean, but he sounds so pretty when he’s desperate and you just can’t help yourself.

“Spit.” You instruct.

You see him work his jaw, sharp edges protruding here and there while he gathers some in his mouth before spitting it into your hand. You peck a nipple on the way back down to his cock wrapping the spit filled hand around him. You see him watching you and you hold eye contact as you gather some of your own and let it drool from your mouth landing on the tip of his cock. You swear you see his eyes go impossibly darker, his jaw clenching, hands turning to fists in the sheets beneath you both.

When you stroke, mixing everything, his eyes close and he lets out a breath through his nose as he rests back and gets a little more comfortable. It’s not too messy, just the perfect amount of wetness for the glide to be slick and pleasing for him. You tighten your grip and twist under the head watching as the muscles in his stomach and thighs tense, a soft grunt draws your gaze to his face.

“Yeah... like that...” he whispers. He’s just barely rocking his hips into your hands, trying to be subtle while also trying to chase the feeling.

You speed up your hand, keeping up the movements he likes while adding your tongue to flick at the underside of his head. You glance at him and find him watching you again, a fucked out look on his face, mouth slightly parted and a bead of sweat running down his temple. Slowly you sink down watching him till you can’t anymore, burying the tip of your nose in the soft patch of neatly kept hair at the base of his cock. When you feel him hit the back of your throat you contract it and shake your head from side to side and finally, finally you pull out one of his loud and unrestrained moans. It goes straight to your pussy, making it feel like it’s pulsing in your panties.

You come up for a breath before you stay down as long as you can repeating the same actions that pulled the lovely moans from his throat and you continue to hear them as you feel him start to sink his hips, almost like he’s overwhelmed and trying to pull away from how good it feels, like he can’t handle how how good it feels.

In your peripheral vision you can see his hands twitching like he’s fighting with himself before he gives in and sinks them into your hair, pulling slightly before pushing your head down and bringing his hips back up. He’s not fucking your face, but he let’s his cock sink as far back as it can and let’s you work your throat around him, lets himself get overwhelmed instead of pulling away from the feeling like he was before.  

Jeongguk was a head pusher in every sense of the term. Some people hated when their partners did that, but you loved it. You loved it because Jeongguk was different from most head pushers. He had variety. Sometimes he liked pushing your head down and holding you there to choke you and watch tears form in your eyes, to watch your makeup run while you struggled to breathe. Sometimes he did it in a face-fucking way, his hips jackhammering while he moved your head up and down just the way he wanted it. This time though, he held your head down in a begging way. In a way that said “Oh god please, please don’t stop, it feels so fucking good, please stay there forever”.

Jeongguk is whimpering above you and you hum and moan loudly sending strong vibrations up your throat and down his cock and he’s thrashing, throwing his head back, grip in your hair tightening, a pleasant pain on your scalp.

“Oh my fucking god,” He groans, neck extended and his eyes squeezed shut.

His whole body is burning when you bring a hand down to massage his balls while still moving your throat against his tip and then all of a sudden he tenses and stills before he’s pulling you off, frantically chanting “Stop it, stop it.”

At lightening speed you grip the base of his cock, squeezing, trying to keep his orgasm at bay. Jeongguk’s whole body jerks with his cock, but no cum leaks out, only precum and spit making a mess on his angry, swollen cock. He relaxes back for a moment, cock still jumping, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath and you do the same and after you slowly release the hold you have on his cock you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Suddenly your world is blurry and you’re quickly being pulled to his chest and smothered with his hands on your cheeks, and his lips everywhere they can reach.

“God. You’re so good, so so good y/n. So perfect, make me feel so good baby. How do you do it?” He praises you between kisses and you giggle, gently pawing at his chest to get him to stop or at least slow down.

He does and you take a second to look at him. And he’s glowing. His eyes are shining, like he was close to tears and his cheeks are flushed. His sweaty hair sticks to his forehead in places while the longer pieces are fanned out on the pillow underneath him. And his smile. He’s beaming and you are so in love.

You bring a hand up and brush some sweaty strands back off his face. His eyes close and he pushes into the touch like a kitten wanting pets. He sighs contentedly.

“You’re so beautiful, Jeongguk. So pretty.” You whisper, placing a kiss to his forehead.

You bring your hand down from his hair and cradle his cheek, running your thumb over his plump, red bottom lip. You can see faint teeth marks underneath it from where he was biting it. His eyelashes flutter on his cheek as his eyes close and he sighs quietly before he nibbles on the fingertip with his front teeth and then takes the whole thing into his mouth, sucking on it. You gasp quietly, and apply light pressure pushing down on the wetness of his tongue prying his mouth open and he just lets you.

Your lips find his, and you dip your tongue into his open mouth before your hand moves to his jaw to keep it agape and you fuck your tongue into it.

“This is how my tongue is gonna fuck you...” you whisper.

He whines high and needy, and his hands move to cup your cheeks. You moan before settling over him more comfortably and pushing your soaked panties to the side before wiggling till his cock is settled between your lips.

The night was supposed to be about him, but you need something before you lose it. You move your hips in small little thrusts, the length of his cock rubbing deliciously over you clit. You both gasp into each others mouths. The hands on your ass encourage you, pressing into your cheeks and the small of your back whenever you thrust forward, and the thumbs on your hips push when you grind back.

“Holy fuck you’re so wet.” He’s says it like he’s in awe, like he can’t believe it. Like he hasn’t made you this way so many times before.

You rest your forehead on his while continuing to grind on his cock. “Love you like this...” You grip his jaw again and pry it open, even though you know he would open willingly if you just asked. You look in his eyes searching, before you feel him nod in your hold. You lean forward over his mouth and let some spit fall into it, he moans while he eagerly drinks it down.

His grip on your hips tightens and you feel his cock jerk against your clit, but he’s good. He doesn’t cum.

“I love it too... just not all the time... it’s- a lot. Overwhelming.” He whispers, and you coo.

“I know baby, you’re doing so well. Color?” You ask.

“Green.” He answers without hesitation.

You smile and kiss him. “Wanna keep going?”

He flushes when he nods his head. “Please.”

Once again you find yourself between Jeongguk’s legs. You play with his cock a little before smoothing your hands under his thighs, trying to gently push them up and back but he whines and resists.

“You have to let me see baby.” You say, a smile in your voice.

Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath before slowly letting his legs fall apart.

You hum, before saying, “Hand me a pillow please.”

He’s confused but does as you ask, understanding when you tap the side of his cheek with instructions to lift his hips, pillow settling underneath his ass and lower back, propping them up a little.

You settle back down on your tummy, and open his legs again. Jeongguk says nothing but you can feel his body shaking a little with a constant tremor. He takes a deep breath settling back into the pillow he placed behind his head so he can watch what you do next.

“Ready?” You ask, hands gripping at the meaty inside parts of his thighs. You get a stiff nod, but still no noises. You pout but get started by running your tongue flat over his balls, hoping to ease him into it.

You feel his thighs tense, as you lap at the hairless balls, sucking them into your mouth every once in a while. Your eyes constantly flicker to Jeongguk’s face to make sure there’s nothing wrong, but all you see is pleasure on his face while he breathes out in soft little puffs through his nose. His eyes are hooded and his lip is drawn between his teeth.

You hold his heady gaze and you place your first little lick on his perineum. At the contact, his head falls back, mouth hanging open. You wiggle closer to place a kiss to the area, transitioning to quick little flicks of your tongue and Jeongguk moans, and you watch as he spreads a bit more, lifting his feet so his knees are pulled closer to his chest, giving you easier access. You moan at his eagerness, and have to stop for a minute, putting a hand between your legs to just press on your center for some kind of relief.

His eyes are still closed, like he doesn’t want to see you between his legs licking at his most private area, but his quiet whining and restless shifting is enough to let you know that he’s okay and enjoying it.

You bring your hands up and place one on each of his cheeks, squeezing a little, admiring the soft give of his muscles. He’s so plush. You apply pressure so his legs fall farther back and then spread him apart. You bite your lip and your mouth waters at the thought of how good your going to make him feel.

Tentatively you poke your tongue out and trace it around the little ring of muscle. He gasps and tries to clench and close his legs but you hold them in place.

“It’s okay baby.”

“‘S weird...” He mumbles.

“I know. Just try to relax for me, okay?”

You hear him take a few deep breaths before you feel his body shake with a nod. His legs fall open again and you make quick work of his hole, placing your tongue flat over it, dragging all the way up to where his balls meet his perineum.

“Ohhh,” He breathes out.

You take that as a good sign before getting a bit rougher with your actions, less of the tentative licks and more of some tight sucking and quick flicking. He’s doing so well and you can hear him moaning above you. His cock is so hard and swollen on his belly, neglected and leaking.

“Pull your legs back baby.”

He opens his eyes and they are unfocused. It takes him a second to process what you asked him to do, but once he does he moves quickly. He has a hazy look in his eyes, his mouth in parted slightly, and his tongue peaks out to wet his lips as he gets comfortable in the new position.

“Watch me?” You plead, while licking over his hole again, eyes not leaving him waiting for a response.

His eyes close for just a moment and a wrinkle of pleasure forms between his brows and his cock jumps, a little spurt of precum oozing out. He inhales and opens his eyes on the exhale, breathing out a small “Okay.”

Once you start to figure out what he likes and what makes him happy, all you hear is the steadily getting louder pleased noises falling from his lips. You point your tongue and gently push past the tight ring of muscles and Jeongguk sobs. He brings a hand to his face and rubs over it, before throwing his arm over his face, hiding because he’s so overwhelmed. To your surprise he starts to gently rock against your tongue.

“Oh my god you’re so hot Jeongguk,” You moan.

“Don’t stop,” He begs. He sounds close to tears.

“Touch yourself, baby.”

You wait until you see his hand wrap around his cock giving himself a few slow strokes, wet eyes on you, waiting for you to keep going.

As soon as your mouth meets him again, his hand he has on his cock starts moving faster, almost frantically over his length and his hips are stuttering like he doesn’t know if he wants to fuck his hand or if he wants to fuck himself back onto your tongue. You decide for him and hold his hips close to your face, sucking repeatedly on the ring of fluttering muscle.

Jeongguk gasps, “I’m close, I wanna cum y/n- Please, I-“ His head falls back and his hand doesn’t slow.

You give your hum of approval against his hole, and watch him fall apart.

His head is thrown back and he’s so sweaty from working so hard for his release. His chest rises and falls in quick staccato breaths, and his free hand goes up to a nipple, lightly rubbing his thumb over it and he keens, before he goes silent, whole body stuttering and he chokes out nothing more than a quick, quiet “Cumming” before his cock pulses and shoots out 1, 2, 3 stripes of white, the rest dribbling down his length and over his fingers. His body almost convulses from the pleasure coursing through his veins. He keeps stroking, and he lets you keep licking until he squirms, uncomfortable from the overstimulation.

You wipe your mouth and immediately make your way up to his face, straddling his hips. You don’t care about the cum, but you’re carful to avoid his sensitive cock, which is a little deflated but still laying somewhat hard on his tummy. You’re both out of breath when you slam your lips against his so it’s more gasping into each other’s mouths while your lips occasionally meet before you need a breath again. But you’re desperate to show him how good he did.

You pull back and grip his face in your hands. His hands hold your wrists, like he’s keeping them in place on his cheeks. He’s still catching his breath with his eyes closed, but you want him to see how proud you are.

“Jeongguk, look at me.”

He does and his eyes are glassy and wet and his eyelashes are clumped together with unshed tears. He offers you a sheepish smile.

“You did so good baby. So fucking good. I love you.” You pepper kisses over his face.

He laughs breathlessly, “Didn’t get to your fingers...”

You laugh with him quietly. “That’s okay baby, we can do that next time. You were perfect.” You take a deep breath and collapse on top of him, resting your face in the crook of his neck, smiling while leaving small lovebites all over.

After a minute or so though, you feel him start to get restless underneath you.

“What is it baby?” You ask not really moving much.

He mumbles something into the top of your head.

“Huh?” You say sitting up to look at him.

He looks kinda petulant for someone who just came so hard it hit their neck.

He mumbles again.

“Koo. Words.”

He blushes and scowls looking away from you but the hands settled on your hips rub small circles into your hip bones, showing he’s not actually mad and most likely just being a brat.

“I want them now.” It’s quiet and pouty, but at least you understand him this time.

Your mouth opens in understanding but your eyebrows raise in surprise. You look over your shoulder and down to see his cock still laying plump and hard on his stomach in a little puddle of cum.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to, I know we said that was the plan but we can always do it ano-“

He grabs the back of your neck pulls you down to kiss you deep and slow, his tongue finding it’s way into your mouth. When he speaks again it’s soft against your lips.

“Please y/n... it felt so good,” A tiny peck is given as your noses touch.

You exhale a shaky breath, “Yeah, okay. If that’s what you want.”

He kisses you deeply again, but positions you over his cock so he can rut up into your pussy.

“Can’t you feel how bad I want it?” He whispers against your lips. He nips at the bottom one while smiling before pulling away and settling against the pillows again, looking at you expectantly once he gets comfortable.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Big words coming from someone who claimed they didn’t even want this like an hour ago.” You smile down at him, eyes sparkling.

He snickers. He breathes a deep sigh before settling back even more. “Yeah. That was before I came so hard that I almost blacked out.” His hands are behind his head and his eyes are closed like he’s reminiscing about a distant memory, a smug smile on his lips.

“You switch from being my baby to a pain so fast.” You pout as you settle once again between Jeongguk’s legs.

He parts them with a hum. “Still your baby... just- make me feel good please, I’m like so hard- throbbing.”

You suck on your fingers a little bit to get them wet before circling one around the ring of muscles. You don’t miss the tiny gasp, or the way his legs subconsciously part even wider.

“I don’t think it’s gonna feel the best at first....” You warn, applying the slightest pressure to his hole, before going back to circling it. “Hand me the lube on the nightstand please.”

Jeongguk obliges before he says, “I know just... go slow.” He sounds just a little bit nervous.

You give a quick nod while you open up Jeongguk’s half empty bottle of lube and drizzle some onto your fingers, lathering it over them to warm it some before getting them into position.

“Do you think about me when you use this?” you ask still running your slick fingers over him.

He nods and licks his lips subconsciously. “Mhmm sometimes.”

You fake gasp and bite at his knee by your side. You’re sitting crisscross applesauce in between his legs. “Only sometimes?”

“I watch porn too,” He giggles breathlessly. “Sometimes I look for girls that look like you though, if that helps.”

“It does not.” You say indignantly, only half joking.

He brings his foot up and lightly kicks at your leg. “You watch porn too that’s literally why we are in this mess right now. We watched it together.”

You full on laugh at that. He has a point. “Okay enough, hush and relax baby.”

You weren’t sure if it was better to warn Jeongguk, or just slowly ease him into it without saying anything. If you warned him you knew he would tense up and it would just make it harder on his body, but you also didn’t want to take him by surprise either.

You must have just been circling his rim for a minute because Jeongguk huffs before asking, “Are you gonna like... put it in or...?”

You take that as a go, and peck the inside of his thigh a preemptive apology because you knew it was going to hurt a little. Jeongguk had prepped you for the times you tried anal with him and you vividly remember the sting before it became bearable. Your hands and fingers were much smaller than his, and certainly much smaller than his cock, so you are hoping the pain isn’t too horrible and ends quickly.

Oh so slowly you start to sink your middle finger inside of him. He sucks in a breath through his teeth and when you flick your eyes up to look at him you can see his eyes squeezed shut tightly and his jaw clenched.

“I’m sorry are you okay? Does it hurt?”

He shakes his head. “Doesn’t really hurt yet, it’s just uncomfortable... Keep going.”

You nod softly before you resume what you were doing, and once you get down to your last knuckle, you wiggle your finger around inside for a second like you had seen in the porn that you and him watched together, hoping to stretch him out some.

Above you Jeongguk is taking shallow breaths the sort of sound like they are getting a little higher pitched at the end, and he shifts and wiggles a bit because of the foreign feeling. You glance at his cock and see that’s its gone just a little soft.

“Touching yourself might help you relax a little bit and it might make it feel a little bit better.” You suggest lightly.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but he does as he’s told, slowly stroking his cock back to it’s full length.

“That’s it, good boy. I can feel you’re less tense already.” You praise, and you start to move your finger in and out. It’s tight, but there’s a lot less resistance. You move them just a bit faster and focus on Jeongguk’s reactions.

His hand has started to move a bit faster over his cock, and his mouth is parted and his eyes are closed, like he’s lost in the feeling. There’s a flush on his face that has travelled all the way down his chest. Soft moans fall from his lips occasionally, although you can’t tell if that’s from you or him touching himself.

“Does it feel good?” You ask, genuinely curious.

“It feels…” He pauses like he’s unsure. “It feels… nice. I think.”

You snort. “You think?”

He laughs a little breathless, hand still stroking over his cock. “I mean it’s weird. But it’s not unpleasant. I could probably cum if I kept touching my dick.”

“Don’t cum, I haven’t found your button yet.” Your eyebrows furrow, determination set on your face.

“I do not have a button.” He says absently.

“You do. I’m gonna do the second one kay?”

“I don’t and okay.”

You ignore him and grab the lube again, adding a bit more. Your fingers find their place and as they start to sink in, Jeongguk sucks a sharp breath through his teeth, and goes rigid. You wince.

“Hurts…” He says quietly.

“I’m sorry baby.” You rub your free hand over his thigh, trying to comfort him. You give him a moment, he takes a few breaths before saying to keep going.

It takes a little bit but eventually you get both fingers in. Jeongguk isn’t feeling good yet, teeth grinding, body tense, and hands fisted in the sheets trying to ground himself, but you are determined to make it good for him. You get on your stomach and add your tongue to your fingers as you start to pull them out just to push them back in. The lube doesn’t taste very good, but the way that Jeongguk’s breath hitches when he feels your mouth on him again makes up for it.

“I- I love that.” He says, voice airy and soft as he turns his head to the side and into his shoulder like he’s trying to hide.

“Mmm, starting to feel good now baby?” You ask, flicking your tongue while your fingers start to sink in easily.

“Yeah, ‘s good…” He mumbles.

Once you’re sure that there’s no pain at all for Jeongguk, you start to crook your fingers inside of him on every thrust in trying to find that secret spot of his. Jeongguk sounds lovely while you’re searching, but the way he sounds when you finally hit it is like nothing you’ve heard from him before. It’s like he gets punched in the gut and looses his breath, a moan getting caught in his throat for a moment before he exhales a high pitched whine. You didn’t get to see it, too focused, but you know his eyes rolled back.

“There,” he breathes.

You moan as you rest your head against his thigh, focusing on your attention on your fingers and hitting that spot every time you move them inside of him. Each time you hit it sweet moans are punched out, or quiet affirmations are whispered. “Yes, please, more…”.

He has that look of pleasure on his face, the scrunched eyebrows, the parted mouth. He’s fidgety, and fussy like he just wants more but doesn’t know how to get it. He huffs, annoyed, before he starts to push back on your fingers.

“God… you’re so desperate for it,” You whisper completely captivated by how much pleasure Jeongguk looks like he’s in.

He doesn’t acknowledge you. Until you start to put a constant pressure on his prostate, rubbing.

“Oh fuck- I-“ He looks down to where your fingers are like he can’t believe the way they are making him feel before he throws his head back and let’s out a deep groan.

He lets you make him feel good, let’s the pleasure build up in his body until you start to feel him tense. His whines start to come out more frequently, almost constant moans filling the air. So noisy. His legs open more and you see how his toes curl in the sheets.

“Oh my god I think I’m gonna cum,” It’s said breathlessly, almost confused. Like he didn’t think that he would actually be able to cum just from your fingers inside of him, hands still at his sides fisted in the sheets.

“Yeah baby?” You ask, voice airy.

He nods, tongue poking out of his mouth like he’s concentrating.

Your arm hurts, but you keep thrusting and rubbing over that spot inside of him. His muscles are strained, and next to your body, you can see his legs start to tremble. His breathing is fast and short. His cock is fat and swollen laying in a puddle of precum, it looks like it hurts with how red it is. You take you other hand and start to rub on his perineum, stimulating him on the outside as well as the inside and that’s when he loses it.

He let’s out a choked cry before his body jerks up, curling in on itself. “Oh fuck I’m cumming, I’m cumming, I’m cumming-“

You don’t let up, an awestruck smiling forming on your face as you watch Jeongguk fall apart on your fingers. He’s so tight around them, it’s like his body is begging you not to stop, keeping you in place. He feels like every hair on his body is standing on end and like his skin is overly receptive and sensitive to every little thing. Wave after wave of ecstasy is flowing over him. His whole body trembles, yet his cock doesn’t jerk like with his other orgasm. This time it just pulses flat on his stomach, cum leaking out of the tip adding to the mess that was already there. With every pulse of his cock, Jeongguk’s body curls more, back raise off the bed, abs flexed due to the strain on his core. The look on his face is one of indescribable pleasure. It’s obscene. After the final pulse of his cock, he falls back, absolutely spent.

Your fingers slowly come to a stop, and you carefully remove them from him and wipe them on the bed before you crawl over his thigh and flop down by his side. You peck his cheek, staying quiet this time, not wanting to overwhelm him. He’s still has tremors running through his body when he turns his head to look at you. His chest is heaving and his eyes are droopy, but there’s a sleepy smile on his lips. He curls onto his side so you guys are facing each other.

The silence is thick and heavy but not in a suffocating way. More so in a comforting way. The atmosphere feels like you both are wrapped in a weighted blanket, just relishing in the warm afterglow of what you did together.

You wiggle closer, hook a thigh over his hip. “How was it? Did you like it?” You don’t know why but you sound shy, kinda nervous.

He simply nods, a soft smile on his face as he brushes some hair behind your ear, hand coming to rest on your cheek for just a few seconds before it’s sliding down your arm, down your hip, playing with lacy top of your panties. He bumps noses with you, breathing in your exhales before he closes his eyes and fits his lips between yours. His hand slips into your panties.

You open easily for him, angling yourself mostly on your back so it’s easier for him to reach where you want him most. He sighs into your mouth when he feels how wet you are. He dips between your lips and you gasp, hand going down to grip at his wrist willing him not to tease, to not move his hand away.

“Don’t worry, I just wanna make you feel good baby.” He coos in your ear as his middle finger starts to rub slowly over your clit.

You let out soft whimpers at the slow pace that makes the fire in your belly curl and steadily grow.

“Jeongguk, I’m already close…” You warn.

“Mmm, that’s it baby. Want you to cum for me, like I came for you.” His finger speeds up some. “Fuck, you made me cum so hard y/n. Made me crazy. You always do.” He moans gently into your ear.

You nod, and your legs begin to tremble. “Don’t stop,” You beg, meaning both his fingers and his words.

“You wanna know what it felt like? You wanna know what you did to me?” He presses a touch harder, and nips are your cheek.

You nod again, subtly rocking your hips into his touch.

“You made me cum untouched y/n. Do you know how good you had to fuck me in order for that to happen? God, it was so intense, and I was just leaking so much the whole time. You did that to me baby, you made me feel that good. Fuck, I wanna make you feel that good too, please cum for me y/n. I know you’re close, I know your body just as well as you know mine.” He sounds desperate, just yearning to get you there. “I can tell by the way your legs are shaking, and the way you can’t stop whining my name. Sound so pretty baby, just for me. Your hand on my wrist is gripping so hard, like you can’t take what my fingers are doing to you. But you’re gonna take it and give me what I want right? Just like I gave you what you wanted, hmm?”

“Fuck, Jeongguk I’m cumming,” You cry, his words and his fingers making you shake and finally get the release that you’ve been putting off the whole night. Your thighs close over his hand but Jeongguk doesn’t let up, not until you’re cumming for the second time in a span of minutes.

“Please- I can’t-“ You squirm, and wiggle, until his fingers slow and finally slip form your panties. You sigh in bliss, body twitching as the last bits of your climax leave your body.

You turn back to your side and snuggle all the way against Jeongguk’s body, legs intertwining. Jeongguk runs his nails over your back, making little goosebumps sprout over your body. There’s a peaceful quiet coming over you, both tired from the events of the night. Jeongguk breaks it.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” It’s a timid statement, but you can hear how much he means it.  

You kiss softly over his heartbeat. “I always will.”

“Just please don’t ever ask to peg me.”

You simply hum. “Goodnight baby.”

------------------------

i hope you liked it!! i’m thinking of writing a smutty drabble of when oc and jk watch the porn together 🤨 let me know if you would want to read that or anymore of this universe! comments, notes, and feedback are YEARNED for. my ask is also open if you want to request, share thoughts, or just talk

part 3 here!

[bangtanfancamp]

Try Again | KNJ

summary:  Got guy trouble? Of course your best friend Namjoon is the perfect person to talk to about it. It just ... doesn’t go at all how you expect it to. Maybe that isn’t the worst thing though.

•masterlist

•one shot

•pairing: Kim Namjoon x Oc

•genre: best friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, smut, fluff, comfort, slice of life

•word count: 11.5 k

•rating: MATURE (18+)

•warnings: oh quite a plethora today, friends. Language.  Very much smut. Soft smut. Lots of heart and connection, but definitely very much smut. No way around that. Vaguely stream of consciousness in that there is a plot but IS there a real plot? I’m an INFP. Who knows. Also, idk, trauma processing? Mental Heath is a lot of work, friends. Anxiety. Fear? Dishonored boundaries. Sort of infidelity but not really? It’ll make sense when you read it. Sucky breakups and questionable relationship dynamics. Frank discussions of how freaking weird it can be to navigate sex, physical intimacy and relationships. hopefully heartfelt conclusions. astrology , loose mythology interpretations and Nikita gill poetry references. Super flirty friends who don’t realize they’re oversharing and super flirty until well after they’ve gone and become soulmates.

•authors note: I really don’t know what the flip this is, but I’ve been picking at it nonstop these last few days, and I really just want to post the dang thing to get it out of my Google docs and stop looking at it. It’s very much unedited and being published at 3am. We’re processing how hard being a human is a lot lately, and I really just think it would be easier with Namjoon as a friend

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“Namjoonie?”

With wide eyes, you swing around the doorframe of his studio, your half up ponytail swinging in tandem as you do.

He smiles at his screen, lips widening and dimples seeping into the soft dough of his cheeks as he laughs. He doesn’t look your way, but you know you have his attention.

“Yes, y/n?” he hums.

You feel yourself light up at the laughter in his voice when he says your name. He doesn’t seem like he’s bothered by your interruption in the slightest. In fact, He sounds rather...happy. Even you can easily tell. You’re so glad to see the warmth in his eyes, the easy chuckle in his shoulders and upturned twist in his lips. You feel your own grin swell with relief at the open way he welcomes you. It fills you with confidence enough to plunge ahead.

“Can I ask you something?” Your head tips sideways coyly as you watch him through your fluttered lashes.

“Aren’t you asking me something now?” He chuckles, leaning back in his seat with eyes fixed on his monitor screen.

“You know what I mean, Joonie,” you nudge your pointer finger deep into the well of his cheek. “I’m being serious,” you giggle.

“I can see that,” he flicks a sideways glance your way, mirth spilling from the corners of his full lips. “Well, C’mon then, out with it- what is it? Just ask me.” He acquiesces, looking up at you finally.

His brown eyes swim with camaraderie and warmth as he pulls you into his lap. You tumble down into him with an oof as his long arms wrap their way around you. You can feel his fingers along your waist, playing with the hem of your blousy crop top, occasionally brushing the skin beneath as you beam up at him. You feel both secure in his grip and happily flustered at his attention— it’s a delightful cocktail for a Tuesday afternoon really— both your smiles seem ever growing as his touch continues.

“Joonie, you’re gonna distract me,” you giggle as his button nose drags along your neck. It should be an odd occurrence, but it isn’t. It’s just you and Joonie.

“Like you’re distracting me?” He teases, voice deep as his warm breath tickles your skin.

“Touché. But I’m serious! So you have to give me a serious answer.” You enforce, gripping his shoulder firmly. He flexes his arm and you roll your eyes, even if some far off part of you loves every second of it.

“Ugh, fine.Okay. Okay. I’m here. I’m calm. I’m serious,” he nods firmly, clearing his throat, and pulling back into his seat, subtly pulling you with him until you’re bracing yourself against his solid chest. “See? We’re serious. Serious face.” He twists his face into a frown, dipping his brows and angling his chin until his jaw is clenched, tongue in his cheek in mock displeasure as you reach to happily tap the tip of his nose.

“Excellent. Yes. Focused. Let’s attempt this, shall we?” You wiggle to settle yourself, laughing when his hands immediately grasp your hips to still them. He cocks an eyebrow your way in warning, sharing a look only the two of you know, before smiling so wide his beautiful chocolate eyes fully disappear behind his eye crinkles. You both laugh happily, breezing easily past the moment, until Namjoon reigns his giggles  in. Once again clearing his throat, he tips his head your way in instruction.

“Come on. What is it?” His eyes are still sparkling, but his face is now serene, studious even.

Smiling so wide you feel your cheeks begin to ache, you run delicate fingers through the bits of hair falling into his face. Your fingertips trace over his cheeks and across the full swell of his chest, sighing dreamily as you do so. How come affection always comes so easy with him?

“You’re simply the best, d’you know that?” You whisper, elation in your eyes.

He blushes, his happy face scrunching tight as he licks his lips and avoids your gaze. Burying his face in your collarbone he mumbles,”is that what you’re here to say?”

“No. In fact, not at all actually,” you giggle. “I just felt like telling you. Got a bit off topic once I got here, I guess.”

You dip to kiss the top of his swirled hair, lavender lychee and yuzu greeting you in unison in his freshly shampooed tresses. Scrumptious. He breathes soft through his nose in a happy exhale as you do, snuggling you close into his arms as you settle in his lap.

“How may I be of service, Jagiya?” He presses a soft, welcome kiss to the back of your hand before pulling back to meet your eyes. Such a silly boy.

“Okay, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I have the oddest thing to ask you.”

“Okay, shoot.” He nods, licking his lips and concentrating on whatever it is you’re about to say next. You’re tempted to laugh at his sudden, eager composure, but you know it’ll only get you both further off track, so you swallow your giggles for now instead , hiding them somewhere precious and sweet until it’s time to properly collect them.

“Okay, here goes.”

Wistfully, you throw your arms lazily over his broad shoulders and look towards the light installation overhead, some modern, angular thing he had installed last year when he renovated the studio.

“So!” You begin, “things with the boy have been so much better the last few weeks.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah? Have they?” He smiles warmly when you nod. “Do we like this one?’

“Sort of? I think? I mean, I don’t quite know. It’s only been a handful of dates, but I think it’s going... good,” you assert.

 “Y/n, that’s so good.”

“Right? Isn’t it?”

“I’m so happy for you. I’ve noticed your spirit’s seemed up lately. I was really hoping that was why,” he beams.

“Oh, you’re such a love, joonie.” Endeared that he noticed, you happily pinch his cheeks. Normally, he would shirk anyone else away immediately for doing such a thing, but his soft spot for you is unparalleled these days, so he refrains from disturbing you as you continue. “I was so worried a few weeks ago, Joon. Things felt like such a mess. I felt like such a mess, but did you know, Joon, this guy...he’s been so sweet. So good to me. It almost has me wondering, did you say something to him?” You squint inquisitively, bumping the tip of your nose against his. His grin flashes wider as he taps back against yours before kissing your cheek and pulling back to mime zipping his lips.

“Who me?” He mumbles through a closed mouth.

“Yes, you, silly.” You swat. “Who else knows me as well as you do? I didn’t think this dramatic a turnaround was possible. He’s so thoroughly improved after those first two bungling dates that it’s almost suspicious. You’re sure you haven’t given him a y/n 101 cheat sheet? How is he an honor student all of a sudden when he was on the verge of being expelled a few weeks ago?”

“Oh come now. Please, you were never going to expel him,” he challenges, leveling you with a look as his thumb glides its way along your rib cage. It makes you shiver, smile and pull him closer.

“Okay, okay, send him to summer school at least. Just a little remedial work…or detention, perhaps? I don’t know. Early Retrograde was really aggressive okay? Things were looking pretty grim.” You grimace with a shoulder shrug.

“In Gemini too. Miscommunication and frustration just rampant.” He makes mock explosions with his hands as you tip back abruptly in his lap. It makes you yelp before he’s leaning forward, scooping you securely against him and tutting in derision at you for your lack of faith in him. “Settle down. I always forget what a jumpy little bunny you are. You really think I was going to drop you?”

“I mean, I’ve seen you fall out of an office chair all on your own without my help, so yeah, it is a concern.”

“Touché. I always forget you know me that well. As you were saying,” he blushes, all six foot something of him turning sheepish as he does.

“Yes, I was. Where was I? Oh! The boy! Namjoon, you wouldn’t believe how thoughtful he’s been.”

“Really?”

“Goodness, yes. It’s been a rather miraculous turnabout altogether really. You told me to give it room to breathe, and I did, and all of a sudden we're flourishing now ” You beam.

“Wow, that really is something.” Namjoon’s happy for you. Really he is, but there’s something in his gut that feels the slightest bit… off.  So he eyes you steadily as you talk, studying for the facial ticks that give you away when there’s something you still have to say. 

Sure enough, he sees it there, lurking in the shadows swimming in the depths of your irises. It’s staying pretty far back, as if it believes it’s camouflaged deep enough behind your eyes that it’s successfully hiding from him. But he knows better. He knows you better.

He pauses to see if you’ll bring it up yourself, and when you don’t, he pushes ahead.

“So, how have things been in… you know… that other category,” he shirks, wishing he’d found a more graceful way to word that.

“What other… oh. You mean? Yes. That one,” you settle your grip on Joon’s firm shoulders, right in the dip between his collar and the rounded swell of muscle capping his shoulders off, “Well, you see, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, Joonie. I needed to get another perspective.”

“Do tell.”

“Perfect. I need your perspective as a guy.” You nod.

“Do my best.”

“Joonie, do you ever get shy when you’re with a girl… you know, intimately?”

“Intimately? Now? No. When I was younger? Yeah, sure. Why?”

“Do you remember what you were you thinking...back then?” You tip forward, eyes all curiosity. His brows tip up, a bit surprised by how personal this is getting, but the two of you have very few things you keep off the table. He supposes it’s a fair question.

“Well, for me, at the time at least, I was probably thinking that a woman's body is honestly the most finely tuned, delicately crafted piece of technology in the entire world and as much as I wanted to literally dive face first into exploring it, I was kind of terrified of doing it wrong.” He shudders, wide eyed, as the anxiety of it ripples comically through his entire body.

“Huh, really? How wild. I mean, I guess that makes sense. What were you so afraid of though? Isn't it just a simple matter of questions and paying attention?” You cock your head sideways, half pony flopping to the side.

“I mean, sort of?  But honestly, it’s also really complicated. It is just that, but it’s also a lot more than that. There are questions and there is paying attention, but you also have to get the timing and mood just right….You have to be connected with each other- which requires more emotional intelligence than you’d think, might I add….You have to be able to read her body language and predict her non verbal cues…Have to potentially be fluent as a therapist to help coach her through any lingering or buried trauma that might come up along the way.... Have to be her specific version of attractive and be authentically yourself all at once....

You have to seduce her, support her, please her, love her- be the leader, the guide and the recipient all in one. It’s a hell of a lot actually. And that’s all without even introducing any moral or spiritual implications. Don’t even get me started on all that- we’ll be here til nightfall. But yeah, it encompasses a lot on the guys' part, actually, to make it all worth your time and his. You can’t just be a good technician, you know. It’s not like being a good chef. It's not formulaic like a recipe. I mean, you can follow every pre-laid  step and still get it wrong honestly.  It’s intuitive and demanding, but really rewarding.. if you get it right...which is harder than you think.  It’s honestly a lot more like being an empathic super hero. Even if you can read your partner inside and out, You have a job to get done too. The catch is that even if you read them and support them, you still might not accomplish your common goal together.”

“Jesus, joonie, so cerebral.” You tease, flicking his temple.

“It’s a curse, I know.” He rolls his eyes at himself.

“I mean, kind of not though. I love hearing your dissertations. They’re why I stopped by in the first place.”

“Did that help?”

“Sort of? I guess I hadn’t realized how much the guy has to account for.  Maybe I’m being unfair.” You look so glum, so lost in thought as you process all that Namjoon has laid out before you. He made lots of points that you’d never actually considered before , and now you feel a bit dumb, or at the very least more naive than you would have thought before you knocked on his door. “Still. It’s just…I get..annoyed when this guy doesn’t lead. Like, in the moment, you know? It’s like he’s waiting on me and we both don’t know what to do, but I guess no one really teaches a guy how to huh?”

“Ooo God, no, that’s another topic altogether, but yeah, guys are expected to be these inherently prodigious, natural born love gods, even without having any sort of experience at all, but they’ll get judged if they do the research so it’s pretty lose-lose. That whole master class worth of intel I just mentioned is supposed to be considered the base level package, but no one gives any training or instruction so every guy’s just sort of jabbing around in the dark by himself, hoping for the best... it’s a lot of pressure, honestly. But this is all predicated on him being a good guy who’s actually worth your time and really values you trying his best. There are so many others who have zero self awareness who just cause more harm while legitimately having no clue, and beyond that, the shitty ones who are just selfish and awful with an awareness of it.” His face scrunches as he really sits back and lets it wash over him. He mindlessly runs his fingers over your hips as he processes it all.

“So, are women wrong to think the right man for them will inherently be able to read them? Or that, if he can’t get it right, that maybe he’s not the one for them?” When your eyes meet his, there’s so much vulnerability shining in them that Namjoon feels like he’s looking directly at the sun. You look beautiful and unguarded, and some part of him hates that this guy has disappointed you. “Anytime it doesn’t go smoothly, I wonder if I don’t like that particular act or if it’s just my partner and then I feel like I’m putting too much pressure on him or like I’ve drank too much of the mass media expectations kool-aid. Whatever the reason is, I feel lousy all around.” You confess with chagrin.

Namjoon lets out a low whistle as he takes the thought in. “You know, I’ve had a lot of good friends be … relieved of their title, if you will... for things like that. I don’t really know the answer if I’m being honest. I think yes, your ideal partner should be sexually compatible with you, or at the very least have good physical chemistry with you, but no ones a complete mind reader. Even if you're perfectly matched in the stars and on every compatibility platform, that still doesn’t account for individual personal preferences, dialects of love languages, life experience or individual traumas...”

“Phew, that's a lot,” you scrunch your face in distress.

“I know, right? It’s a crazy amount of factors to keep in mind all in all, especially considering that the heart of it should be organic and intrinsic. It’s hard to stay in your body and out of your head with all that, but at least there’s naked tits involved, so there’s sort of that, right?” He shrugs cheekily, tongue out as you smack him.

“I told you to be serious!” you laugh.

“I am! Bare tits are a seriously soothing motivator for a stressed out guy who wants to pleasure you. I mean, think about it- he’s under the pressure of trying to both avoid accidentally blowing his load prematurely and disappointing you by not being man enough and avoiding accidentally getting you pregnant or getting lost in his own experience by being too much. And this is all of he’s a good guy who actually cares about you. There are so many more messed up motivations if he’s only in it for himself,” Namjoon shudders. “Ultimately, sex is supposed to be this penultimate pleasure, yes, but the stakes are, in fact, outrageously high if you really think about it.” His eyes go a bit wide.

“Crikey, that’s rough.” You cringe. He snickers at your phrasing and you smack him away as you tell him to shut up. “Anyway do you think all that is why the boy’s been acting up as of late?”

“How so?”

“Did I ever tell you he’s a Scorpio?”

“Oh yeah? Wait—One who doesn’t ravage you on the daily? Really?”

“Yeah. I know. It’s a weird thing to wrap your head around isn’t it? He’s a Scorpio with a ton of Virgo in his chart actually.”

“Oh you’re joking. So he’s the inverse of me?” He’s not sure if that’s actually how astrology works, but it’s too similar not to be alarming. He wonders why his heartbeat quickens at the idea of you liking someone similar to him in any way. It’s dumb. He already knows how compatible you and he are. It’s why you’re currently sitting in his lap asking him to help solve your guy problems. Still though...

“Yyyyup. Precisely.” You quip, popping the p, and he tries to refocus.

“Ooof okay, so we’re dealing with... a Perfectionist, yes?” He looks to you for guidance, settling into a smile when you nod in assent. “Yes. Probably also absurdly talented, thinks he’s a planner but really, just likes to be the boss. Likes things to be in order and… supposedly a beast in the sack.” He adds with a little swell of confidence. He’s on the cusp of a wink when you interrupt him.

“Ah, see now that’s the bit we need to discuss.” You tap his pec.

“Does he have an unsatisfactory bit?” His brows rise dramatically. He makes air quotes with one hand as his eyes drop to his own hips, currently housing you as a chair, and rolling them up so you bounce where you sit. You giggle and blush and swat at him, telling him to focus.

“Well, that’s the thing, I don’t actually know. Because he never seems to use it.”

“Hmm. A real sticky spot huh? I really wish I could help, but Every man is so different, even with astrological similarities. I don’t know how much help I’ll be.” He offers honestly, his brows tipping softly with chagrin.

“I know, but I’ll take any advice you have for me. I mean, Joonie, I’ve been so pretty lately, and he’s not even trying to get some of me. He barely even comments about me!” You whine.

“Really?” Namjoon seems a bit flabbergasted, his beautiful features painted in shock.

“Really really.”

“But you’ve been such a babe lately! Your whole ‘hot girl summer’ manifesto really has you radiating these days,”’he offers.

“Thank you,” you beam, flipping your hair over your shoulders.

“I mean, you’ve been working really hard to take care of yourself— I can see the difference in your pretty little face.” He runs a thumb beneath the natural curve of your cheek to emphasize his point. “And Your boobs have looked beautiful lately, might I add. So soft, so full.”

“Awww, you’ve noticed?”

“I have. I mean, You’ve been going braless around the apartment on the regular these past few weeks— and  they’ve got such great movement, they’re hard to ignore, really.” He’s really stretching the boundaries of his best friend card right now and he knows that, but it is true. Lucky for him, you’re too busy being glad someone finally noticed to be upset about any lines he might be crossing. He’s so emboldened by it that he decides to press his luck just a little bit further. “May I?”

He extends a hand to hover above your chest and you bristle with delight.

“Oh please do, Joonie. Someone ought to be enjoying these marvelous splendors.” You shake your head annoyed, but preen with happiness when he follows through.

Carefully, Namjoon reaches to grasp one over your shirt, his massive palm gentle as he does. He looks a little in awe at the way the malleable orb morphs and reshapes itself against his hand.

“Splendor’s a great word for them. They’re sort of thing poets could fill whole books about. How is he not enamored by them? I’d bury my face between them and never come up for air.” He states plainly, eyeing them like a soft place to land.

“See that’s what I thought too. Not to be arrogant or anything but—“

“Confidence is not arrogance,” he corrects.”You’ve worked hard to be nice to yourself. Give yourself a compliment every once in a while.” He reluctantly lets go of your breast, and shoves his shoulders up in an easy generous gesture encouraging you to move ahead, so you do.

“Thank you, joonie. I just… I can see my progress. I was mean to myself for such a long time, but even I can tell I’m getting prettier and prettier these days, and he’s even admitted, himself just how soft and warm I feel.”

“So what’s the problem then?” Joon looks bemused as he strokes the newfound definition in your thighs from all your recent cardio workouts. “It can’t possibly be that he doesn’t like your outside because your figure these days is INSANE.” He clutches a massive hand against the apex of your thigh for emphasis, swallowing back a growl when his grip meets the muscle you hide beneath your softness there.

“Joon, you’re such a flirt,” you bat his hands away, hiding your face instead.

“You’re such a delight- I’d be a fool not to be,” he shrugs, hoping he’s doing a good job of hiding how genuine all this affection really is.

“Well, tell him. He keeps psyching himself out.”

“Yeah? How so?” He asks, genuinely inquisitive as he slips down and settles in his chair, careful to hold you steady as he gets settled.

“I know how bad he wants me. I can feel his… you know,... growing against me when we kiss, or twitching when it gets stimulated… but it’s like he keeps taking his foot off the accelerator and we never get anywhere.Like maybe he doesn’t really...” want me are the words you’re too afraid to say.

Namjoon’s brows fold and dip. “What do you mean? What happens?” He tenderly brushes his fingers over the fold of your hip as he listens.

“I mean, he’ll make these offhanded comments that I can tell are actually 100% genuine—I mean they aren't even remotely subtle— about the way he very much wants me in his bed, but the second I reciprocate or even lean in and let him initiate, he almost immediately pulls himself back.” You wave your hands, baffled.

“Like how so? Can you show me?” He wonders what’s gotten into him, why he keeps pushing to see how far you’ll let him go with this. Maybe the heat’s getting to him. Whatever his reasons, you seem too preoccupied with the problem to have noticed anything out of the ordinary. He chalks it up to your absurdly high level of physical comfort with him after years of living together, if he had to guess, because you follow through with his request without a second thought.

“Sure. Here. It always winds up going something like this…”

You lean forward, turning your performer on and eying him a wickedly gleeful sparkle in your eyes, tongue running over your teeth ,”God, I just want to impregnate you right now,” you pant, one hand twisting the bunched fabric of his t-shirt as you drag your nose against his. You can feel his breath hitch through his open mouth despite the sarcasm that spills from it.

“I’m not sure that’s how this works actually …. anatomically.” He corrects, even as his palms shift to grip the arms of his chair, his natural preemptive response to brace himself when he can tell you’re about to rile him up.

“Don’t be snarky, Joonie, you know I don’t have the patience for that,” you warn as your open mouth dips to the column of his throat. You drag your lips across it, disconnecting your brain to dive in with gusto, skimming along the warmth of his honeysuckle skin and revelling in it. You never kiss him, just hover, but your hands grow more insistent as your breath glides over his neck, only to reach his mouth again and fully decelerate, abruptly and with no explanation.

Your kiss his cheek disheartenedly, your touch devolving into something slow and sentimental, borderline regretful as you begin to fully pull away. You cap it all off by kissing his nose once and placing an oddly mature, smacking peck to his confused mouth for half an instant, but when he looks up at you, you keep smiling fully, blissfully—even into the edges of your eyes— as you pull away, as though all is right. Everything about your body language signals that the moment is done before it ever began by pulling him deeply into a plush, platonic hug, wrapping your arms smoothly around his shoulders and rubbing his back.

Namjoon’s woozy, baffled face is pressed against your neck in this embrace until only his inquisitive eyes are visible. He glances at you sideways even though all he can see is your hair.

“Seriously? That’s what he’ll do?” His voice comes muffled through the fabric of your blousy top, but his confusion is evident regardless.

“More or less. Honestly maybe a little less,’ you smile grimly. “i jazzed it up a little for the show.’

“Oh Jesus. And then he’ll just… stop like that and stare at you like a marionette doll, and you’re supposed to be okay with it?”

He hasn’t felt this befuddled in ages. You flop back in his lap, abruptly releasing him. He adjusts his jaw with his hand to soothe the way it’d been yanked around in your grip.

“Apparently,” you flail.

“Bizarre. Okay. We’ll circle back. But… let’s unpack this first: don’t you hate neck kisses as foreplay? You mentioned that before: how many guys have slobbered all over your throat like they thought it was hot and you just .. felt like a dog toy, right?

“Yes, yes, yes, to all of the above,” you sigh.

“But…help me understand. You’ve told him that right?

“Several times. Before I ever dated him actually.”

“So shouldn't he know?”

“I know.” You nod.

“Don’t you hate hickeys?”

“I. Do. Yes,” you clap between phrases for emphasis, grateful Namjoon gets it.

“The only time it ever seemed like something you might have been into was that one Fourth of July party. You know, the one where we both had too many strawberry margaritas and I,” he clears his throat.“Well, I mean, you almost beat me with a spatula when you realized I’d left one without checking with you first.”

Your belly pools with something molten at the memory. Namjoon had surprised both of you that night when he’d leaned over beside you where you both sat in the grass and begun kissing your throat. You’d been surprised, but Namjoon had always been sweet and good to you and was apparently, good with that full mouth of his as you’d learned that night, so you hadn’t stopped him.

 The problem was that any pleasure you’d had had been immediately eclipsed by your fearful realization, even in your hazy margarita brain, that you had work the next morning, it was summer and you wouldn’t have sufficient makeup or clothes to cover it up. Not to mention how hideously unprofessional a hickey like that would have been to the manager who already hated you at the time. You were already the low point on the totem pole. You didn’t need any help and besides, a neck hickey at an office job wasn’t going to fly. What were you, sixteen? You’d made Namjoon pay for your concealer the next morning and had teased him for his drunk behavior constantly ever since. You just never bothered to tell him that no one else had ever managed to affect you quite like him… before or since.

Clearing your throat, you bundle the memory up and swiftly put it back up on the top shelf.“That I did. But when you did it, and even in the past the one time he did it, it had at least been pleasurable, you know? I could feel your tongue and the suction…. it was something I could melt into. Turn my brain off. But now, He does this weird thing where his lips get really articulate, and there’s no tongue. Like zero tongue. He’s just jabbing at my throat with these, like, lip fingers, and Somehow, he doesn’t pick up on my aversion. Like I’m literally retreating from him like a turtle into my shell, and it’s just so unpleasant. But I mean, I’ve already verbally told him I don’t like it and I pull away, so I don’t know what there’s left for me to do.” You huff all in one breath.

“Just like those other things you told him you don’t like?” Namjoon offers, a glum smile painting his lips.

“Yeah…. “

“Is he still not getting those boundaries either?” He says sadly, not for his sake but for yours.

You sigh, irritated in every way. “No, he’s not. I’m getting so annoyed with it all, really. I keep telling him what my preferences are, and he just keeps acting like I haven’t said anything but seems stumped when I leave an interaction with him being kind of bitchy.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I get really passive aggressive with him, and the night just... tanks.” You lean into Namjoon’s chest, resting your cheek beside his neck. “But I mean, what else is left when he ignores direct communication? It’s infuriating,” You gesture glumly with swirling hands.

“So, you’re sure you’ve laid it all out for him?”

Your anger flares at his accusation. Whipping your head toward him, you can feel magma rising up your throat, fully on the brink of lashing out at him. 

“What kind of question… of course I Ha-“ 

But the second you see his eyes, you remember who he is. Who you’re talking to. You remember that Namjoon would never accuse you, he’s simply asking you a question- there’s nothing loaded behind it. Raking your hands over your eyes, you apologize.

“I’m sorry…. I don’t know what came over me… this topic just makes me mad…. I forgot…”

“Shhhh,” he cradles your face, thumbs light across your skin. “Hey, look at me.”

When your eyes meet his, Namjoon’s soft brown eyes do nothing but smile back at you. The look in them is gentle and warm and you know he’s about to say something wise.

“His words and touches are confusing you, aren’t they?” He offers with a sad smile. One so comforting that all you can bring yourself to do is nod back to him. “It sounds like- from my outside perspective here- that You feel like you don’t have clarity on what’s happening to your emotions or your body. Which sounds pretty shitty honestly. I know you, Y/n. The signals this guy is giving you are all over the place, but at the end of the day, all of them wind up making you feel disrespected and undesired, and you especially need to be respected and desired.”

You drop your head and sigh. “I don’t know why it’s so strong though. I feel crazy. I feel like I ask him all the time to tell me if he thinks I’m pretty because he won’t do it on his own.”

“That frustrates you, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it really does. It took me such a long time to get my confidence back after the last guy. I finally realized I’m worth being fawned over. I’m not perfection, but I am well and above deserving having someone at least verbally appreciate me. I can be absolutely stunning when I want to be. And his disinterest, or even worse, his moderate interest infuriates me.” You look down ashamed.

“Why is that, you think, baby girl?” Namjoon hooks a finger beneath your chin, lifting it until you’re looking back at him.

“Because I hate being ignored.” You answer honestly, and it surprises you.

“There it is. Why do you think that is?”

“Because I’m stunning! And really smart! And really talented! And beautiful!” Your eyes bounce around the room as you try to focus. “Because…. because… maybe I’m settling… or maybe I picked wrong again by accident and am continuing that same dumb cycle again without knowing it.” Your voice is defeated as your shoulders cave in.

“What do you mean? What cycle?” Namjoon is playing with your hair, running his fingers through the knots and tangles of it in the most gentle way.

“Of… damn, this sounds so Freudian, but I always pick these people I have to prove myself to. I went overboard all my life trying to be the prettiest and the best or the most special, but it never seemed like enough. Now I know I’m enough all on my own, but I still keep ending up with these people who don’t seem to see it. Which is infuriating and it’s… it’s all a mess. Dear god, there’s so much to unpack in all that.”

You look up at Namjoon in distress. Not only is it flashing in your irises but it’s evident in the way your body clenches and tightens itself.

“Hey, hey hey, woah…. breathe for me. We’ll address all of that in a second, but let’s take care of you first okay? Your body is practically screaming right now, you’re so tense. I can feel it.  Let’s get you comfortable, okay? Is your body in any distress?” He asks as he gently helps you to stand before rising himself. 

You want to laugh at him for how clinical he sounds, but honestly, he’s right. You can feel this whole situation in your body, and it’s starting to mess with you. When he scoops you into his side, you let him. You always forget how tall he is. How comforting the shelter of his hugs are. 

“The bridge of my nose is tingling again, like the beginning of an awful migraine.” Your gaze flits up to his. Namjoon brushes soft fingertips over the bridge of your nose.

“Here?”

“Yeah,” you nod softly.

“Anywhere else?”

You take a moment to assess.

“My whole face is frowning. My brows, my jaw, my teeth- they’re all tight. I think I’ve been holding my breath without realizing it again. My whole body is clenched from my neck to my toes. Has been since I woke up,” you realize.

“All right, well, we’ll start with all of those.” He smiles warmly. Bending, he presses a featherlight kiss to the bridge of your nose before tangling his fingers with yours and leading you to the corner of the studio as you follow. There’s a bemused smile swirling on your lips that’s overrun with fondness for him and his caring touches. You dip your head and grin as he tugs you along.

─────────────────────

You’ve always loved his studio office. So tranquil and peaceful. So perfectly curated for comfort. He fishes a remote out of the pocket of his cargo pants (the ones that you always tease him for since he’s the only man in world who could pull them off) and dims the main lights until all that’s left is the ambient glow of a few soft cartoon lamps and the massive Himalayan salt rock he purchased in Brazil.

It’s a beautifully sunny summer day outside, but his windows are lined by so many trees that the lighting is indirect, never harsh. He pulls you to sit beside him on his luscious futon. The cushions have always felt more like clouds than it made any sense for them to. The sofa’s wedged in a corner by the open windows with a leafy view of Namjoon’s favorite park. The curtains flutter in the breeze as you settle beside him, the warm scent of early summer tickling your nose for once instead of the frazzled bursting of little nerves behind your sinuses.

The happy trickle of his tiny indoor fountain laughs beneath the window. It’s surrounded by his collection of amethyst crystals, placed to diffuse tension and bask in moonlight. The sound of the water soothes you as Namjoon moves to pull his shirt overhead.

“Namjoon, what are you do-“

“Just trust me. I want to try something.” His eyes are incredibly warm. It’s the kind of gaze that lets you know absolutely everything will be alright, no matter how unorthodox the road to get there is about to be. “Skin to skin contact is supposed to help soothe anxiety. It always seems to help calm you down when I hold you so I thought…”

“Oh. You want to ...oh.” For the first time all day, you flush, wide eyed as you take him in.

“No, not fully skin to skin… just like, our torsos maybe? If that would be okay?” He searches your eyes, waiting for permission. It’s not a thing you ever anticipated happening when you entered his studio today, but as your gazes stay fixed on one another, you realize the idea sounds really… nice.

“Yeah, that would be okay.” Your breath comes out as a whisper, and his dimples suddenly reappear. Gently, without a word, he reaches beneath your floaty crop top to unclip your bra, pausing in surprise when he meets the bare skin along your ribs instead.

“Oh… I didn’t fully realize…” he swallows. “I thought maybe you just had one of your soft ones on today. Your body doesn’t usually get this tense unless you have one of your really tight sporty ones on. This guy’s really got you stressed out, huh?” His face is a picture of nothing but genuine concern.

Tenderly, Namjoon traces along your skin and lifts your blousy top up over your head, guiding you to lean into him. Skin to skin. It really is… nice. He was right. It really does help calm your anxiety.

Once you’re settled against him, he taps another button on the remote, one that allows the futon to extend. Not quite flat but elongated and dipped back at enough of an angle that you’re both reclined. The pillows are soft, the leather beneath you both worn in and cool. Warmed just enough by the sun to be pleasant. You breathe in a burst of clean air as the plants in his studio refresh the space, healing any tension in the air.

Between the babbling little brook, the fresh breeze, the soft fabrics and the indirect warmth of a lazy sun and a warm solid body surrounding you, you realize Namjoon has pulled out every trick in his book to smooth your nerves. The lavender he’s put on his pulse points swirls in your nose as his fingers swirl in your hair and glide down your spine, and suddenly, it feels safe to breathe again.

He seems to sense it- the moment when your body begins to unwind beside him.

“Would you like to talk about it again?” He asks, brushing his cheek against the top of your hair. You take a moment to sigh before you answer.

“You know, I feel like I probably should, but I’m so scared it’s going to get me all riled up again, and I don’t want that, Joonie. I really don’t. I just want to lay here with you and have things be peaceful.” You sigh, pressing your lips against the skin on his golden chest. You sink into him, inhaling the natural sweetness of his skin.

“Well, how about this, then? Instead of listing out all that’s bothering you, or all you’re scared of, the cycles you fear, maybe…. maybe we focus on what you do want instead. What you’re longing for. Focus on what fills you up… or what you’d like to.”

Sniffling, you nuzzle into his skin.

“Was that supposed to be a euphemism or did it just happen that way?” It only takes a glance up at his … yep… blushing face to know that it wasn’t intentional, and that warms your heart in untold ways. Perhaps it’s better that way.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you slip it out to see an Audio message.. from him.

“Oh cripes. It’s him.”

You deflate, feeling your ribs sink in all the way until they’ve met your spine. You look up at him, a balloon that’s lost all its air.

“You can play it- go ahead. I got you. I’m right here with you.”

Sighing, you turn on the speaker and listen in tandem with Namjoon, shocked altogether when you get the news.

“He wants to cancel our next date,” you whisper. As the message trails on, something about how ‘maybe we just shouldn’t see each other at all after that actually’ and something about ‘not being compatible but it’s not your fault,’ realization dawns on you.

“Is he... breaking up with me? Through an audio message?”  Your eyes flit up to Namjoon’s in distress.

“That piece of… I’m so sorry, y/n.” His brows have scooped upside down into sad tilted u’s and it’s all the confirmation you need to know that the last minute and thirty seconds were not in fact a terrible dream and were indeed a terribly unpleasant reality.

“This is the strangest day. I know I really shouldn’t be surprised. It’s not like it really had been going on long enough to even be a proper relationship— it’s barely been a month. Besides, I spent the whole afternoon making a verbal pros and cons list about him with another guy, so its not like it was going great but,...I mean, I know part of me knew I probably just needed to let this all go, but I just didn’t expect...” your incoherencies babble themselves into silence as Namjoon rubs the back of your shoulders. It reminds you where you are, how you're currently configured, and it makes you feel a bit swimmy.

Looking down at the way you're currently laying bare tits to pecs with your best friend, you become very aware that this was probably for the best, but that doesn't make the nastiness of it hurt any less. An audio message? Really?

“I hate this for you,” Namjoon’s voice is a jumble of gravel and disappointment. “I’m sorry he was such a douchebag about this.’

‘Thanks, Joonie. It can’t be helped now. I guess…I just wish I knew what to do. Because I definitely don’t,” you shake your head.

Namjoom does though, scooping the phone out of your hand and clicking it shut, he pulls you closer as a fresh breeze ruffles the leaves of his peace lily near the window.

“Step one, lean into the friends you have who do show up until you find the guy who does,” he strokes the peachy fuzz along your upper arm and kisses your temple sweetly.

“But how do you know which ones those are? They all seem that way from the start,” you sigh, sinking into him. 

Dragging a finger along his ribs, you count the dips you feel, wondering how many ridges it takes to protect the fragile thing in our chests.

“Hmm. True. But if I know anything about you, it’s that you have the most sensitive intuition of anyone I’ve ever met. It’s so pure, so true, and it never lies to you. You know, there are cultures that think it’s the work of divine feminine energy. I don’t know if that’s true, but you’ve always seemed to have a bit of a goddess appeal to you. I think it suits you. You just have to trust it.”

He nudges your charmingly disheveled hair with his nose, and you breathe a happy scoff into his skin.

“I’m not sure what your well placed flattery has to do with this one, but I’ll bite for once, Nikita Gill. Carry on,” you twist in his arms until your back rests against his front, and you’re sitting between his legs. His fingers come to drag across the skin just above the ribbon cinched waist band on your floaty shorts as you reach above you to loop behind his head. You absentmindedly tangle your fingers in his lavender tresses while the warmth of his skin and rhythm of his breathing rock you gently.

“Funny you should mention her. You’re a bit like her modern Aphrodite, you know.”

“How so?” You bump your forehead against his sculpted chin.

“I mean that one passage. About how the goddess of love and desire had mended so many of her wounds. She’d adapted and settled into herself, overcome all the envy and control she used to thrive off of, but she still felt alone. Until she was invited to a dinner party with the other women of Olympus and realized how loving and welcoming it was to be supported by others as friends and not enemies.”

You nodded, lowering your arms to drape them over top of his and trace his forearms.

“I remember that one. It was one of my favorites in that book. I’d been so excited to show you.”

“I think my lovely Aphrodite needs that.”

“I thought I was your Persephone?” You look up.” I’ve always related to her.”

“You are. Besides the obvious similarities with her complications with Demeter, when you’re glowing, you really are the personification of spring. For this analogy though, even though Persephone is regal in her own way, you’ve always had something of Venus about you too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nods, eyes warm and voice mellowed to soothe. “If you really think about it, you’re a lot like Aphrodite in that poem. She had so many wounded relationships, and you’ve sustained such deep wounds that you’re constantly seeking ways to heal them. And You’ve healed yourself so much already- which im so proud of you for, by the way-“ he kisses your forehead as your lashes flutter shut. “But I think you need a nest like that. A place to rest filled with people who will nourish and nurture you. A place to land while you heal the rest.”

“That sounds lovely,” you sigh,”but I haven’t the slightest idea where to find it.”

Namjoon smooths his palms over the tops of your thighs, his thumbs dragging over the splashes of freckles he finds there.

“I don’t think it’s a place you have to search for. I think it’s a thing you open yourself up to. An energy you receive when you emit it.”

“Like, putting out what I want to receive?”

“Mmm, hmm,” he nods as his ring finger sketches out Orion’s Belt between your freckles. “That guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, but that’s not your fault. There’s someone for you, if that’s what you want. Someone who’ll notice how more than enough you are. Promise. Just don’t force it. Don’t hunt it down or seek it out. Just let good come to you. It will find you when you’re ready for it if you prepare to welcome it.”

You feel tension in the joints of your shoulders lessen in relief at his suggestion. You hadn’t known you were gripping your muscle there, or that you even could. Tipping your head back into his bare shoulder, you begin to relax.

“When are they gonna give you a talk show, Joonie?” You smile.

“I mean, I’d settle for a podcast, but my advice account is actually viral on TikTok. Did you not know? How do you think I afford my share of the apartment?”

“You know, I never thought about it, but that makes perfect sense,” you laugh softly. You realize then that there’s remnants of salt on your cheeks. You hadn’t realized that guy had made you cry. Sighing, you nestle deeper in Namjoon.

“So, back to the sage advice, do you really mean I don’t have to work super hard and seek out a good relationship?”

“No, I don’t think so at all. See that’s the tricky part about that passage. I think it could be interpreted that she needed that all along, and it was Aphrodite’s fault for not seeking it out eons ago. It would be easy for the reader to focus on it as something Aphrodite’s done wrong, but I don’t think that’s the point.” He furrows his brows in a pleasant sort of focus. The kind that makes you just want to watch his beautiful brain formulate the way it does.

“You don’t?”

“No. I think that misses the point altogether. The legends of her in the ancient world were set in a backdrop where things were fueled by pettiness. So many male gods in the pantheon were self interested and vicious. She learned to play hardball, and did what she had to do. She didn’t have a confidant to keep her soft. But this poem takes place with an older Aphrodite. One seasoned by time, who no longer needs to prove anything. She’s tired and open, and non-competitive. She knows who she is and has no envy. She’s healed a lot of her relationship wounds and now she just needs to let the people in who are going to love and accept who she’s become. You know, People who won’t try to judge her, or use or forget her or belittle her. People who wont judge her for who she used to be but will accept for who she is….Because it’s finally the right time for that kind of genuine connection.”

You love how analytical his mind is.

“So does that mean you think I’ll find it? Or that it’ll find me rather?” You sneak a glance up at him.

“Yeah, I do.” Something in his heart swells. It makes his eyes feel hazy as he stuffs his crush for you into the background like cheese into the crust of a pizza. You’d never know unless you pulled it apart.

You take his hand in yours, tracing a finger along the crackled fissures lining the inside of his palm, and sit in the silence with him.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?”

“What do I do… If, say, I was already in good hands all along and totally missed it?”

“Hmm?” He feels his pulse spike along his throat.

Twisting sideways between his legs, you wrap your arms around him. “Joonie, I mean you. We take good care of each other, don’t we?”

His massive hands are fitted to your skin. Slowly, he sinks his palms into your ribs, pressing in firmly as your breath catches. “Yeah,” he whispers, caramel deep. “I think we do.”

“Namjoon, would… it be weird if I tried something?”

“No, I don’t think so,” his brow scrunches. He’s not fully tracking where this is going, but he’s along for the ride.

Slipping a hand around the curve of his cheek, you turn him to face you. Your smile is warm and lovely with melancholy. “I think I’d like to sink into where I am right now. With you.” Your eyes look between his, and Namjoon feels himself collapse in happy relief when you pull him down into your lips. One of his hands finds its way to your face as the other traces secrets into your skin, and he realizes all at once that kissing you feels like coming home.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

This is how the version of you and Namjoon that had always been best friends slips into the beginnings of the version of you and Namjoon that will fall deeply in love.

His hands slide to curve and cup the bottom of your breasts as they fill his palms like water in a cup, and his fingers splay to catch them. The veins rise beneath his skin, but his touch is still velvet against your skin. He lowers himself to whisper caramel thick in your ear.

You shudder as his plush lips graze your skin, and something in you feels like you’re breathing for perhaps the first time. Your face presses into his neck as your hands search for purchase across the tops of his absurdly sculptured legs.

He’s loving and warm and everywhere and your nerves are all lit up. Not in alarm or even in alert. More like in the way a coral reef glows with luminescence when things are balanced and in order. The way nature warms like a halo when it’s in harmony with itself.

Namjoon guides you against his body, precious and safe. His right palm continues to mold into the softness of you as his left unravels from your touch to drag its way up to the waistband of your flouncy shorts. His bottom lip catches in his teeth when his ever observant eyes notice the satin bow looped and tied at your waist. You watch transfixed as he delicately unties the bow, letting the ribbon flutter loose between your thighs.

He stays there, molding to the swells of you, his eyes filled with wonder as he smiles at you. His own breathing is shaky and wrecked and out of sync with you as his chest crashes against your back and his fingers sink deep into your skin. You feel your head loll back, rolling against the curve of his shoulder, pressed against the swelling of his newly sculpted biceps. The beauty etched into his sinew enchants you. You lose yourself, preoccupied as your eyes trace the musculature running in rivers down his arms. When he catches you, stupefied and gaping at him, he flexes and chuckles under his breath at the way he feels your thighs tremble under his hands when you see the muscle shift.

Namjoon runs his tongue over his teeth, genuinely overcome with affection for you, at the joy of tumbling into this with someone who knows him so well. Someone he’s so eager to love. Because he is. He knows it’s too soon to tell you, but he’s loved you for a long time. He’s not sure when it started or how he thought it was ever going to work out, but somehow he’s ended up here, pressed skin to skin and heart to heart with you. So as long as you're here right now, in his lap and in his arms, he’s going to love you.

He could stay in this moment with you forever. 

He catches a glimpse of the way your shut lashes flutter when he pulls you against him, how your beautiful brows pinch together. It strikes him then how much he can’t wait to slip his tongue into your full, open mouth so he does. The kisses between you are luxurious in a way he’s never known before as you sink into him in the soundproofed walls of his studio. 

Whatever you are to each other is for you and Namjoon to know, and no one else. Not yet. He’ll share you with the whole world once he can. For now, whatever this is, it’s just yours and his. His heart warms as he looks at you, admiring the soft heart that guides you through this life. It’s such a complex thing, so often at odds with itself. He’d like nothing more than to be it’s resting place.

As your eyes begin to flutter open, Namjoon realizes he’d really love for this to be a regular thing.

“You’re amazing.” He whispers, nose to nose with you. He smiles then, eyes happily crinkled around the edges. He can practically feel the way you preen at his praise, body unfolding into something pliant and soft at his encouragement, the complete opposite of its earlier tension. “Have I told you that yet?”

You nod “no” breathlessly, biting your lip and keening into his touch as both his hands slip to hold you against the plump flesh of your outer thighs. You palm his rounded arms and lean against him, lightheaded, happy, limp, and smiling.

Namjoon can’t help but smile into the next kiss as he marvels at you and your beautiful contradictions. Your startling confidence and your deeply soft heart. Your playful banter and your sincere words. Your bravado and your genuine, sensitive kindness. You’re innocence and temptation held in perfect, chaotic balance in one soft, feminine body, like a cosmic vinaigrette that made no sense but tasted delicious nonetheless. It makes him want to dip you in honey and dissolve into the sky.

His fingers are light as they skim across your skin and you hold your breath, releasing it in a shuddery exhale together as your bodies roll together.

“Baby girl.” The words float just outside your consciousness as your skin warms with his breath.

Your body has switched to autopilot, and you’re grateful not to have to control your responses to him. Your hips feel loose, bones replaced instead with something fluid. You feel yourself move with him in gradual tandem rather than consciously orchestrating it. His hands are so big, so rough, so sturdy. It makes you feel a little drunk to know someone so beautiful is caressing you. Someone who truly cares for all of you.

Namjoon tips your face with his, dipping into your mouth to fill the chasm with his welcome, fluid tongue. You fizzle with warmth as you melt with him. With your hands clamped to his legs, his between yours and his tongue in your mouth, you wish you had enough extra air to laugh but you don’t. Instead, you feel the extra joy with no place to go making your body feel as if it’s lifting into the air, like you’re astral projecting . Your brain flickers on for just a second as it tries to process all this euphoria, but you find yourself unable to handle it before the bulb flickers out again, overwhelmed by it all.

Another time perhaps.

In this time and reality, Namjoon’s long fingers swirl lazy and soft across your skin, steady but firm. Your hips glide with him and the moment is perfectly paced- slow but satiating. When your hips kant in tandem he shifts his palm to paw softly at the doughy flesh of your chest, in awe of how beautiful they are spilling out of his hands. Namjoon breaks the kiss to watch you, his forehead against yours as he exhales, dizzy and happy.

You love that. His hair is a mess, and his eyes are glittering and wild. His smile is so tender, so full of something so like love, and you wonder why you never realized you could have had this sort of beautiful experience with him.

“Hey you,” he whispers, tipping his nose into yours, and brushing against the sparkling piercing in your button nose.

You think you might love it when he says that to you. Love the way he puts you at ease. That’s the thing with Namjoon, there’s never pressure or a need for performance or fear. You realize you haven’t been anxious once in this whole exchange. It almost makes you want to sing. You’re so elated you could cry when his warm voice has your senses swimming.

“I know you said before that you don’t always like this, so I’m asking: this once, can I taste your skin? Can I mark you please?” His nose is pressed beneath your ear, panting as his hand splays across your collarbone. “It’s okay if you don’t. You can say no if you—”

“Yes. Oh my… god, yes.”

With a relieved exhale, he dips to kiss your throat like he had that day of the Fourth of July picnic, and you sink into him. Your nails bury into his thighs as he suckles warm and wet at your neck. Namjoon’s mouth is open, breath warm and pressure firm as he drags a steady tongue over your pulse. 

It feels … amazing. You realize then that it isn’t that you don’t like neck kisses in general, it’s that you just didn’t see the point in neck kisses that didn’t feel like this. Because in all honesty, Namjoon’s lips on your neck make you feel like maybe you’ve ascended to some astral plane normal mortals aren’t meant to find out about, but he’s taken you there anyway, and a part of you realizes no other man ever had a chance. Maybe that Fourth of July with him all those years ago really did skew your standards. Because right now, his tongue is hypnotic against your skin and for the life you, you couldn’t care less if there are consequences after this moment. You’re in Namjoon’s capable hands feeling nothing but blissed out and safe.

Your breath grows unsteady until you realize his solid hand is overtop yours that rests on his thigh. His fingers interlace with yours as you clutch at his skin, and he drags them overtop your own legs, sinking into your cloud like flesh there.

You beam, knowing how gloriously lightheaded and dizzy you are right now. Namjoon’s lips are ecstasy. You know how easily you bruise- your neck will likely be black and purple and mottled when he’s through with you. You’ll have to hide out with him in his studio for days until it all passes. They may never go away at that rate, because somehow you know that once you see the marks of his splashed across your skin, you won’t have the willpower not to crawl back into his lap and ask for new ones. Because of who they came from. Because of the idea that, in some way, they make you his, and you can’t explain why you like that so much.

The thought alone of the way he may touch you in the future riles you up more than him touching in the now already does. The intensity of both all at once has your air coming in shaky, short and euphoric. Your vision swims with spots and you suddenly want more of him. At some point along the way, Namjoon has shed the rest of his clothes, fully tangled with you, and you pull him until his hips are between yours, and your fingers are lost in his lavender hair.

So you tap his shoulder and instantly, the pressure on your airway is lessening and his face is coming up from where it was adoring the now aubergine skin on your neck. Licking his lips, he twists to meet your eyes, slowing the swirl of his fingers across your skin.

“Yes?” He asks through the sexiest, heavy lidded eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Joonie, can we…” suddenly shy with your words, you bump his hips with yours, and that dimpled smile of his is suddenly beaming down at you. You’d been in the middle of dragging your face against his when he immediately displaces you and reorients you in front of him.

“Off. Take these beautiful things off,” he’s snatching at those goddamn flouncy shorts as you stand and suckling a blossoming purple spot into your hip bone. You crawl back into his lap, and pause, marveling at the man you've always known as roommate and best friend, suddenly giddy at the idea of waking up tomorrow morning to make French toast and water your mutual plants with him as something else instead. It’s different like this, connecting this way with someone who already feels like home. It’s different with him.

He seems to be having a moment of his own as he slips his hands around the dip of your spine and pulls you close, kissing your temples and running his lips across your hairline. He lowers his face until your noses press together and lets out a shuddery, not nervous but sort of, breath as his eyes lower to his hips and you.

You catch sight of his member there between you. It’s a beautiful color really, the painter in you notices. Some cocktail shade of mauve and cocoa that matches his nipples and supple mouth. It’s a little overwhelming to notice it all honestly, so before you let him slip inside you, you lean into him and kiss him. It’s grounding and glorious all at once. In fact, it’s so hypnotic that before you even realize it, he's already slipping into you as your mouths press, until suddenly, he’s breaking the kiss and groaning involuntarily as his hips stutter...

“What is it, Joon? What’s the-“ when you pull back to see if something is wrong, his hand is suddenly in your hair pulling you to him and you gasp.  “Fuck, joonie,” you breathe.

He says nothing in reply, too lost in the rush of blood singing in his ears, but his gaze never leaves yours. Those venusian eyes of yours are so tempting - you know it and so does he and he’s happy to comply. His hips roll up, and you're tempted to praise him for knocking your consciousness back into the base of your spine, but you don’t think you could form that many words in succession right now. He catches the way your eyes flutter, the way you melt into him, relying on him to catch you, and he gives in to the way his heart expands in his chest.

“Anything for my Aphrodite,” he whispers, his lips pressed to the glimmer of sweat beginning to cool on your forehead.

He’s so aroused right now that, even with all that liquid surrounding him right now and your velour walls sucking him in, he gets stuck on his slide in. You both still to catch your breath, exchanging an airy laugh with each other as you take in the others fully naked body and swoon respectively.

“I think you’re gonna have to help us out, Joonie,” you chuckle, tipping your head down at where you’re… oh my god, joined together. You can’t believe this is really a thing the two of you do now. More importantly than that though, is it normal for a man to have such a pretty pelvis? Because Kim Namjoon’s cock is so big it’s nearly stuck inside you, and all you can think about is how pretty he looks half fitted into you like this like some janky wooden puzzle piece.

“Breathe for me okay? This will feel better if you’re relaxed. Trust me. I promise.” He kisses your temple, but he laughs too, more a raspy exhale than anything else, and with his eyes glued to the way he disappears inside you, he fluidly rolls the rest of the way up into you.

“Holy fu—“

“Hey, Language,” he teases, making you flush.

“Oh you’re worse than me,” you defend.

“Just barely.” He nips his teeth at your collarbone, not knowing it will trigger the beautiful sensation of you arching your back and subconsciously tightening around him. He stutters a breathy woah as he smiles at you, eying your lips before grazing his thumb across them.

You revel in knowing that he doesn’t need you to be perfect for him. You get the feeling that this experience with him will be special however it ends, which is more than you can say for your last few guys. Namjoon is such a gem. Which you knew, but didn’t know. You wish you’d figured this all out sooner.

When the slightest hint of a frown crosses your face, Namjoon cradles your face lovingly and reminds you “hey, stay with me. We’re right here: you and me. Everything okay?” You nod, and he waits until you elaborate before his hips continue.

“Yeah, I’m just...annoyed with myself for not realizing what a catch you were sooner,” you say honestly.

He smiles until his dimples peek out. “Hey, it worked out when it was supposed to, remember? No rushing. Let the good come to you.”

You smile warmly at him, grateful in innumerable ways for his existence, however it is to be explained, and place your cradled hands over his entirely too beautiful pecs. He flashes a smile so wide his teeth beam back at you as he flexes, slips his fingers around your waist again, and rolls his hips up into you.

His thumbs brush like music against your skin as he carries the effort of setting the pace for you. After spending the pandemic turning into a gym rat, his body is so strong that his thrusts are nuanced, fluid and strong, climbing up into the back of your torso in ways that don’t make sense. You feel like a little boat tossed at sea marveling at the waves.

His lips are on your mouth, his tongue warm and velvet as it drives you. Namjoon does all the work for you, and all that’s asked is that you receive. So you do. You let him do whatever he wants to do to you because, if you've learned anything today, it’s the gift of letting good things comes to you.

You don’t know how long this has all been going on because you’ve entirely lost yourself in Namjoon. In the way he suckles your breasts, kisses your mouth, and manipulates your body until you bounce like a rabbit in his powerful lap. You lean into him, your spine feeling entirely too flimsy to hold yourself up, and he holds you to him, scooping you up as you melt against him.

You don’t know whether you’re coming or going but you definitely know when you’re cumming. It’s like he’s taken you out of your body and set you on a cloud. You feel blissfully, happily, lovingly, irreverently fucked as your sweaty skin sticks to his. You marvel at his stamina even as you feel fully ready to collapse into him and resign from this world.

You sneak a glance at him through your hazy fluttered lids. His face looks almost angry as he watches where your bodies join, but you know that face- he’s just focused- so you focus on how gorgeous his pseudo pissed off jawline is as he works. After a few moments, he feels your gaze on him and looks up. Your eyes are quick to lock onto his and his lashes flutter, his heart rejoining the unspoken conversation as he smiles at you, brown eyes sparkling in their darkness, and warming his face with a flush.

One look, one solid uninterrupted look in your eyes is all it takes then, and suddenly, he’s melting into you. 

He collapses back on the couch then, and you’re elated at the way he holds you up. His skin is salty and hot, and You’re grateful for the privacy of his studio despite the open windows because god, do you need the fresh air blowing through on the breeze right now.

He hugs you to him and you hold him back, thighs squeezing his hips as his welcome stickiness trickles it’s way out of you and mingles where you both stay joined. You fall asleep in his arms like that, not rousing until several hours later.

─────────────────────

You press up once you wake and Namjoon does too, shaking out the stiffness from the lack of circulation in his legs. You exchange quiet looks, bashful smiles and silent reminders that everything is just a little bit new. 

In the silent haze of the darkness you've both woken up to, he pulls his softest, largest hoodie out of his desk drawer and over your head, blushing with an almost proud, secret smile when he catches a glimpse of your beautifully splotched throat beside the collar. You notice his poorly hidden grin and connect the dots as you flush in the dark. It’s funny, but you dont feel self conscious the way you thought you would— instead your chest soars when he presses a gentle kiss beneath your jaw, turning away before you can see how affected he is.

It’s quiet after that. He orders in food for the both of you and sets about finding a task while you wait for it to arrive. He fishes a drink out of his mini fridge for you and tosses you a bag of chips to snack on as changes out the futon cover in the meanwhile. He turns on the projector in the studio now that it’s the middle of the night and tabs around until he finds something to watch, keeping the studio lights dim as he scoops you into him.

In a lot of ways, it feels like a normal night, except, in reality, it’s not— everything has changed. What it’s become, you’re not sure. All you know is that every time Namjoon looks at you, you feel more and more like a wonder. Your heart feels more full than it possibly ever has and you can barely hold eye contact with him without smiling. It all feels sort of… right.

When the food arrives, you laugh at him when you realize He’s ordered you sushi and French fries which is ridiculous but delicious, and your chest warms from the inside. He ordered himself street tacos and wriggles his nose every time you offer him a dragon roll. 

It just might be the happiest night of your life.

Namjoon holds you close to his chest when the food is done. Together you watch an animated movie that’s new to you and old to him. You smile every time he tenses— just before every exciting thing happens. He’s trying so hard not to spoil anything or tell you what’s going to happen, but his body betrays him every step of the way.

He smiles bashfully in the dark until the movie ends. When it does, he shuts the projector down before he pulls you both beneath a fluffy blanket and holds you through the night.

See?” He whispers once all the lights have been turned off, and it’s just you and him in the velvet silence that comes well after midnight. “I told you. Focus on the good things, and more will come.” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I think you were right all along, joonie.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you interrupted me today.”

“I am too.”

You smile into his chest, and the world fades away.

[hansolmates]

OMG an enemies to loves flipped au if u haven’t seen it I HIGHLY recommend it

mean!jk x childhood friend!reader (f) genre/warnings; childhood frenemies to lovers (?), angst, jungkook is a jerk!!! boys stink!!! w/c; 1.2k a/n; bintch i LOVE FLIPPED i read that book in one day when i was a kid!! To this day it’s the pinnacle of all childhood enemies to friends (and eventual lovers? Who knows with those two crazy kiddos hope they’re happy raising their chickens and sycamore tree) basically for those who havent watched in the original one of the main characters is in love w the other main but he hates the attention :(

Jungkook thought his high school reunion would be a walk in the park. After all, he has a great job in the city, a beautiful apartment, and an all around great life.

Ignoring all the litany of text messages asking to meet up, he manages to avoid running into you, floating to a bar in the corner where all his old soccer friends are drinking. He just wants to enjoy the last bit of positivity his childhood has to offer, and it doesn’t involve you.

You’ve already been to his house two times this week, his parents are more than happy to feed you and treat you like a daughter. He’s seen more than enough from you.

Yet from the few hours he settles in his hometown, Jungkook can never get away from a conversation that doesn’t involve you.

His friends do nothing but indulge in all the bullshit Jungkook had to go through in highschool. When you asked him out to every single school dance under the sun, only to be rejected every single time. When you packed egg salad sandwiches for him every single day after soccer practice, only for him to secretly throw them out. When you openly waxed poetic about your crush at the senior poetry slam, even though it was very clearly about Jungkook. Absolutely terrifying.

“Heard she stayed behind to stay with her family,” Taehyung remarks casually after the onslaught of terrible memories of you and Jungkook’s antics, “what a loser. Wouldn’t she want to get out of this run down town?”

In fact, you love this town a whole lot. You’ve said it more than once to Jungkook on your walks home from school, trying to get him to watch the sunset on your favorite tree upon the hill, but he’d simply slam the door in your face.

“Can’t deny she’s cute though,” Jimin shrugs, taking a sip of his mysteriously colored drink. It’s magenta, the color of his recently dyed hair.

Jungkook, feeling confident and sure of himself, feels a sickening need to feed into this negativity. After all, it’s his boys and he needs to impress. “Yeah, she’s pretty but she’s a fucking weirdo,” he grins when all his friends wolf whistle in agreement.

“Would’ve loved to get a lunch made with love though,” Jimin teases, jabbing a pinky in Jungkook’s chest, “those egg salad sandwiches cut into little hearts, absolutely adorable.”

“Please, I’m sure those eggs have salmonella in them. She got them from the neighbor’s dirty farm,” Jungkook waves him off, taking another sip of liquid courage, “I threw that shit out, I was better off starving.”

“Oh yeah! And she hung out with that farm freak Kim Namjoon,” Taehyung howls, slamming his drink on the counter so hard that the ice plops out, “what a pair, those two. He didn’t know his left from right! Dumb as shit.”

“Right,” Your one and only friend Kim Namjoon, one he always assumed by association was just as weird as you. Jungkook shakes his head, finishes his glass and calls haughtily for another one, “Namjoon probably pitied her, after all, they’re two peas in a pod. An idiot and a weirdo, a perfect pair! No clue why she was so obsessed with me.”

Crack!

The floor is littered with glass, sliding all across the bar and onto Jungkook’s leather loafers. Dropping glass is completely normal in a bar late at night, but what makes it horrifying is that you’ve been behind him this entire time.

“You can fucking talk shit about me all you want,” you whisper, and for some strange reason he can hear you loud and clear in the noisy bar, “but how dare you be mean to Namjoon when he’s been nothing but kind to you. Fuck you, Jungkook!”

“W-wait, the glass!” You’re running out with nothing but thin black sandals to protect your feet. Jungkook sounds freaking pathetic, unable to formulate a mature, coherent response as you storm out of the bar. The laughingstock of the school, being followed out by the throws of high school girls and boys that always seemed to bother you just because you made the mistake of falling for the most popular boy in school.

It’s been a few weeks into summer and Jungkook’s worried. No calls, no texts. In fact, you’ve blocked him on every social media possible.

He should be over the moon, he should be happy, he’s free. He should be calling back Jennie, who was eager to hook up with him after rekindling at the reunion. Unfortunately as always, he’s clouded by you.

He never thought you’d cut him off like this. After all, you were like rubber, always bouncing back to him, ever since you were little kids.

The silence is loud, deafeningly loud.

“Honey, why don’t you go see your friend? She made you lunch!”

You’re devious. You don’t even want Jungkook’s parents to know how much he’s royally fucked up. You’re still sending him egg salad sandwiches, with heart cuts and red flower pins holding the layers together. His mom edges his plate closer to his body, silently forcing him to eat since it’s already the afternoon and he’s lazed all day. He only has a few days left of his vacation before he has to return to the city, and he’s done absolutely nothing.

His mom is staring at him expectantly, and he takes a small sandwich from the plate. He groans when he finds that it’s absolutely delicious.

“What are you doing here,” you mumble, digging holes in the dirt with the tip of your sneaker-clad toe.

“I came to make things right,” Jungkook replies softly, not wanting to disturb the peace.

You are right, the sunset is beautiful from the hill. The view overlooks the city he works out, and you can make out the incessant lights and city fanfare. Yet, the city pales in comparison to the warm orange sunset, melting beautifully between the clouds. How could he have missed so much?

When he sits down next to you on the mint green picnic blanket, he tries not to react when you flinch away from him, pointedly putting space between you two.

“I find that hard to believe,” it’s amazing how so much can change from a couple of sentences, “I think you’re just trying to feel good about yourself. I should’ve realized how selfish you really are.”

“Please,” Jungkook reasons, leaning in closer. There’s nowhere for you to move, with your flannel clad body pressed up against the bark of the tree, “I can be better, for us.”

He doesn’t think, he doesn’t breathe. He presses his lips to yours, chaste and sweet. Something that even his high school self would be impressed by. It’s perfect, the sun is setting, the view is impeccable, and you’re all alone in your favorite place in the world with your favorite person in the world. It’s just what you wanted all these years.

And just when Jungkook thinks you’ll kiss him back—

Slap!

His face burns white hot.

“Stay away from me,” you spit, tripping down the hill as you try to get as far away from him as possible.

[bangtangalicious]

death valley (m) | part 2

summary: welcome to death valley. once you’re in, there’s no telling whether you’ll make it out alive. a summer internship turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize 

Oh there you go, undress to impress. You can wear the crown but you’re no princess

pairing: ot7 x reader smut ft: drugdealer!jungkook x reader; songwriter!hobi x reader x coworker!namjoon; brief producer!yoongi x reader

genre: smut, slight yandere (building), thriller, gang!au, rockstar!au, fightclub!au, 

wordcount: 7.7k

warnings: multiple and explicit smut scenes, rough sex (hair pulling, slight biting-spanking-spitting, manhandling, etc), oral sex (f & m), praise, kidnapping, subtle yandere themes, exhibitionism, threesome, daddy kink, a noncon kiss on the cheek, traumatic themes, crying/fear, wet dream, begging, degradation (use of terms: slut, whore, etc), restraints/handcuffs (in dream), intoxicated sex, fainting, swearing, heavy drug and alcohol abuse, yoongi is just...the absolute sweetest, switch(but mostly sub in this part)!reader, dom!hobi, sub!namjoon, dom!jungkook

(disclaimer) this is a completely fictional. this is not an accurate or realistic portrayal & it does glamorize drugs but i do not condone these behaviors. please read with caution! 

part 0 | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | finale (lite) | finale (dark) part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | series navi | masterlist |

Kim Seokjin? The same guy who beat Namjoon up so horribly…was a cop? 

It was all you could think about as you drove back to Jimin’s to return his car. What you did not expect was to see a familiar blue haired boy exiting the complex as you rolled into the parking lot. 

He met your eyes--first with surprsie, but immediately replaced  with guilt. He approached you as you finished parking. You lowered your window, regarding him with spite. 

“Jungkook” You hissed.

“Oh hey” He leaned against the door, peering in at you. You noticed him tugging at his sleeves nervously. “What are you doing here?” He seemed a bit flustered, looking around sporadically as if he was almost hiding from someone.

“I stole Jimin’s car. Needed to drop it off”

“Really?” He chuckled lightly before clearing his throat, “Listen I wanted to apologize for not showing up the other d--”

“Did you give Namjoon drugs before the fight?” You asked bluntly. You watched him freeze up, stuttering to find a response. “Wow. You did. You told me you wouldn’t but you did didn’t you?” Jungkook’s expression turned bitter.

“Don’t fucking act like I’m the bad guy. I did it to protect you okay. You don’t even..” He scoffed, “You have no idea what they would have done”

“Protect me from what? Don’t bullshit me you did it for money didn’t you? You fucking liar. Did you even see the state Joon was in after? He fucking trusts you, you’re his friend”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Jungkook screeched, annoyed at your belittling. “He was gonna kill me and he was gonna kill you too. He found out you were coming to meet me”

“Who? Taehyung?” Jungkook gave you a curious look.

“Huh? Taehyung? No not Taehyung...I didn’t even know Taehyung was at the fight” Jungkook opened your car door, leaning in to get a better look at you. But how did Taehyung know you were there to see him then? “You need a ride home right?” You nodded. Jungkook brought out his keys from his back pocket, clicking them so his car beeped. You looked towards the noise to see a black truck parked not too far. “Come on.”

The drive was quiet. You gave him directions to your building, and upon arriving you noticed that his jaw was taught and eyes raging with a mix of anger and fear.

“Why the fuck would you live here? Do you...” He stopped himself again. You couldn’t help but notice how careful he was being with his words. “This is a really shady area. Didn’t you do any research before moving here?”

“There weren’t many options honestly. It was the only place available I could afford. It’s nice enough” Jungkook frowned slightly but didn’t push it. You invited him inside for coffee in exchange for the ride.

Jungkook sat at your kitchen island, watching you with great interest as you prepared drinks. As you poured the coffee, something came over him. You looked so pure. So innocent. He couldn’t help himself. Jungkook came up behind you, placing his hands gently on your hips. 

You felt his lips press against the back of your head. You loved how warm he felt, numbing the pulsing fear that was building in your chest. He began to kiss your neck softly. 

“Sorry. I’m just so fucking glad you’re okay” His breath was hot against your collar bone, making your whole face heat up. You gripped the counter, eye fluttering shut as you savored his touch. “I really really wanted to see you again”

“Oh I bet” You turned to face him, bodies still pressed together. “Still remember how whiny you were” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“I still remember how much you fucking loved it”

It was all it took for the sexual tension to come crashing down. You pulled Jungkook by his shirt towards you, lips finding each other like magnets. He moaned right away as his hands grabbed your ass and lifted you onto the counter top, coffee spilling into the sink. He was starving for you, kissing you desperately, like he missed you--he did miss you--he was trying to chase a feeling and groaned in frustration when he couldn’t quite find it. 

“Holy fuck, Jungkook” You pulled back to breathe, noticing his blushed cheeks, panting heavily as his eyes blinked at you with pure infatuation. He swiftly pulled off his shirt, revealing his tight muscles, arms covered in intricate tattoos all the way to his fingers. Without thinking your hands trailed over his markings with interest. Jungkook smiled.

“Like what you see?” He then pulled down your shorts and panties and watched them drop to the floor. He licked a stripe up your thighs, hands sliding under your shirt as he found your breasts. You could feel him smile against your tingling skin as you squirmed beneath him. “So fucking sensitive aren’t you baby” He slowly ran his soft fingers over your nipples, circling them teasingly as his nose brushed against your cunt.

“Stop teasing me dammit” You whined, bucking you hips up as he pinched you. Your body felt hot all over, and Jungkook watched with interest at the way your heat seemed to be calling out for him through the soft squelching of you clamping down. 

“Shhh...patience baby” You could feel his breath against your folds, driving you wild at the unsatisfying stimulation. He spit out, allowing his saliva to glide into your gaping pussy before shoving his tongue into you. He flattened his tongue, running it up to your clit and sucking harshly. 

Heat soared through your body and you twitched as he rolled his tongue in, drinking you up deliciously. He opened his mouth wide, allowing his tongue to pump even further inside of you. You could feel his thick, plush lips against you--only adding to the amazing sensation. 

His fingers left your nipples, opting instead to clutch around your breasts. Your hand grabbed a fist full of his hair, tugging his face further into you as you strained your neck to try and get a better look at him, but Jungkook pressed his hands down on you, making sure you didn’t get up. 

His tongue jutted into you, flickering around your core harshly, searching for a place that would drive you wild. When he found it, you cried out, shoving his face down as much as you could. 

Jungkook laughed slightly, taking care to slowly lick away at that spot, rolling his tongue oh so slightly as he watched you close your eyes and bite your lip--barely able to contain your gasps of pleasure. 

His mouth moved across your splayed out body, pushing your top so it piled over your breasts as he began to kiss them. His wet pillowy lips teased you with pleasure before he sucked harshly, letting his teeth graze against your sensitive mounds. He hopped up onto the counter so he could climb over you, kicking his sweats off in the meanwhile. 

“Fuck, I’ve been craving you so fucking bad” His hands found yours, fingers intertwining as he pushed your arms out to your sides. He lowered his face until it was inches from yours and grinned. You licked your lips, signaling Jungkook to engulf you in another sloppy kiss. Your mouths were barely even on each other as your tongues fought for dominance, messy moans and whimpers mixing with the sound of your drenched folds rubbing just barely against Jungkook’s hardening cock. He let your hands go to bring them behind your head as he deepened the kiss, yours wrapping around his neck in response. 

“Ready baby? Ready for my big fucking cock” He tugged you hair back harshly making you wince in pain as he propped himself up and lined his cock up with your entrance. With one quick and heavy stride he thrust deep into you, pulling your head back even further as his thick cock pushed its way through. 

“There it is. So tight and warm for me fuck, pussy takes me in so fucking well” He thrusted again with so much force he barely was moving his cock. He was just digging further and further into you making you scream out in a mix of pain and pleasure. Your hands traced his back muscles as he tried to soothe you with light kisses to your neck, but you couldn’t help crying out with every single one of his short thrusts. His hair was sweaty, strands falling over his face and brushing against yours. 

He propped himself up fully then, bringing his hands to your neck and gripping it tightly as his thrusts continued. You choked out as Jungkook tilted his head back in pleasure. You couldn’t help but notice his double pierced earrings, which turned you on so much you fell apart.

You moaned out as your orgasm shook through you, pussy messily leaking onto Jungkook’s cock. He groaned at the way you tightened around him, causing him to curse loudly and quicken his pace. 

He released your neck, allowing you to gasp for air as he took your legs and pushed them forward, allowing him to pump you at a deeper angle. He let his fingers run over your lips before shoving two of them down your throat and making you gag on them. 

He pulled out, rolling onto his back as he felt himself reaching his own high. His hand furiously pumped his cock which looked like it was ready to burst. You moved onto your side and began to kiss his neck, helping him on.

“Come on baby. Cum for me. So close baby” You cooed at him. He looked deep into your eyes as his hands continued moving rapidly. “You’re doing so good baby...come on” He began to whimper and you grinned. “Such a needy baby aren’t you Jungkook. Hm?” You cupped his face and kissed him again. You felt him bite down on your lip harshly, muffling a cry as his hot seed splattered over his stomach. 

Jungkook parted from you, sighing deeply as his arms wrapped around you and pulled you close. His cum spreading all over. He nuzzled your neck affectionately “Let me stay over. Just to make sure you’re safe for a few nights”

Your eyes widened, but you saw how pleading his expression was. “Why do you not think I’d be safe?”

“Because you living here means they know where you are. And I swear to god if they laid a finger on you I...I don’t know if I could handle it. Please baby"

“Who Jungkook? Who are you talking about?”

“I...” He looked away, “I don’t know. But he’s dangerous”

-

When the morning came, Jungkook was sprawled out on the other side of your bed. He looked so peaceful that you didn’t have the heart to wake him up. Tonight was the night Namjoon wanted you guys to go out. Back to fucking Death Valley. 

You had been dreading it, but after the events of the last few days you really needed a distraction. Hobi had conveniently avoided being alone with you ever since the two of you hooked up. It drove you crazy. He was acting so incredibly normal, as if nothing happened. But you wanted him. 

Namjoon greeted you when you arrived at work, sitting in the conference room, scribbling away on his notepad. He was still not quite his usual self. You told him you ran into Jungkook and that he was going to be staying with you for a while. “He says I’m not safe there” 

Namjoon clicked his pen absentmindedly, “Wait where did you say you lived?”

You told him, explaining again that you really didn’t have any other options, and watched his eyes go wide. “Uh yeah that’s not the best place to live. Lot of um...dangerous activity” He searched something on his phone. “Y/n, there are so many better apartment listings, what do you even mean?” 

“I dunno. When I moved here it seemed like everything else had been rented out” You shrugged.

Hobi entered the studio with assignments. He looked great, wearing a large oversized bowling shirt over cargo shorts. It showed just enough of his chest. “Morning guys! Excited to see you all tonight. Y/n, you’ll be working with Joon again while I handle the...”

“Actually do you mind if I talk to you privately outside” Stop fucking avoiding me. You thought bitterly. Hobi’s face fell slightly. You went into the hallway, expecting him to follow. When you had him alone, he plastered on a forced smile.

"Did you need something?” You wanted to laugh at how clearly fake he was being, trying to act like his usual cheery self. 

“Are we just not going to talk about that night?” The facade dropped. Hobi sighed, running a hand through his hair as he thought deeply about how to respond to you.

“We were buzzed. It’s not professional Y/n. Let’s just forget it happened”

“But I” You began to protest, but Hobi brought up his hand for you to stop.

“End of discussion. Work relationships are not allowed here. I’m sorry” His eyes scanned your figure, a look of regret flashed across his face as he quickly turned around and left. 

-

Sitting in the dive bar itself was something you had yet to do, but you found yourself enjoying the ambiance. The music was perfect, not too loud as Namjoon began blabbering away about his music next to you on the circular leather seats of your booth. Sure, you were also glad to finally spend some time out of the office with Namjoon that didn’t involve him almost dying. But you were here for one reason and one reason alone. To get back in bed with Hobi. 

Unfortunately, he was numb to your obvious advances, brushing you off as a tease as you’d find reasons to touch him, lean against him or play with his hair. Finally you gave up with a pout, downing a shot before refocusing your attention onto Namjoon. If Hobi didn’t want you, you were more than happy to show him what he was missing.

“Joonie...” You murmured, leaning into him. “Do a shot with me” Namjoon pinched your cheek affectionately and agreed. You poured a shot of tequila for him, lining up salt on your forearm and sitting ready for him with a lime wedge in your mouth. 

Namjoon downed the bitter liquid and you couldn’t help but twitch at the feeling of his tongue gliding seamlessly up your arm before his lips were on yours, taking the wedge from you.

Hobi’s jaw clenched slightly as he watched the two of you play. Namjoon returned the favor, but you took it a step further, sliding into his lap so you could have easier access to the lime in his mouth. Lingering by his lips a bit too long for Hobi’s liking.

“Jungkook suggested these for tonight” Namjoon brought out a few pills, laying them on the table. “I only got a little bit, but he said it would be fun. If we wanna do more we can just go to your place after and hang too, I’m sure he has stuff with him”

Hobi’s head turned fast, he raised his eyebrows incredulously “What?”

“Yeah” You said nonchalantly, “Jungkook is staying at my place for a while.” You shrugged it off like it was no big deal but it was obvious that Hobi was pissed. Namjoon quickly popped the pill.

“Will you feed one to me Joonie?” You stuck your tongue out. Namjoon grinned and gave you the pill, watching as your tongue curled in. 

“You’re such a little flirt aren’t you” Namjoon nuzzled your neck, not crossing any lines as his hands remained on your back. You giggled, his soft hair tickling you slightly, “And you smell so damn good” He muttered soft enough so only you could hear it.

Hobi watched as you began whispering into Namjoon’s ear. He couldn’t hear what the two of you were saying but seeing you curled up into him like that had him fuming inside. He grabbed the tequila bottle and took a long swig from it before slamming it back onto the table. Both you and Namjoon turned around.

Hobi leaned across the booth to pull you off of Namjoon’s lap and into his. He didn’t even care about the way Namjoon’s eyes widened as he clenched your ass.

“Hi daddy” You smirked, tracing lines up his chest. He jerked you forward so that you were sitting right where he wanted to feel you.

“Stop teasing me.” He growled. He smacked you ass harshly.

“You’re the one being a tease” You snapped right back. “Come on I know you want to.” You traced your finger down his chest, biting your lip slightly. Hobi watched you with dark eyes as you pulled at his shirt playfully before getting off of him and climbing onto the table. 

An upbeat song played through the room, and Hobi watched wide-eyes as you stood up on the table and began to sensually sway your hips. You let your hips drop low, making sure to bend your ass out in front of Namjoon as Hobi began fuming. Namjoon took another swig of his drink and raised his eyebrows at you. 

“Joonie” You cooed, getting on the table on all fours and crawling towards him.  “Kiss me” You curled your finger, motioning for him to come to you. Like a mesmerized puppy he did as told, finding your lips slowly. You could sense his uncertainty. You deepened the kiss, allowing your tongue to push through his mouth. You maneuvered until you were back in his lap, and for a moment you forgot that Hobi was even there. Namjoon tasted bitter but so incredibly sweet at the same time. As his hands began running down your thighs you couldn’t help but moan into him lightly.

Hobi gritted his teeth, jaw clenched to the point where he could just burst. He got up and dragged you off of Namjoon harshly, giving you whiplash as your ass landed harshly onto the seat. Hobi dropped to his knees and yanked off your bottoms. Without any warning he spread your legs wide open to see that you were getting wet. 

“Who is this for huh?” Hobi growled looking up at you. His eyes were enraged, you almost felt scared but you were too turned on by the situation to care. He turned to Namjoon who was startled and unsure of what to do. “You see this Joon?” Namjoon nodded slowly “This is for me. Got that?” He nodded again, gulping. Hobi’s eyes softened slightly, “Do you wanna taste? Wanna see how yummy her pretty pussy is?” Namjoon looked at you for permission and you nodded furiously.

He slowly lowered himself onto the floor next to Hobi, taking your thigh into his hand to spread you out further. 

“God just look at that” Hobi licked his lips, taking his fingers to loosely run up and down your folds, showing Namjoon how wet you were by sloshing around. Hobi gathered your arousal onto his finger and brought it to Namjoon’s lips “Go ahead. Taste” Namjoon opened his mouth, and you watched as he licked off Hobi’s finger. “Do you like it?” He nodded. “Good. Eat her out. I’m gonna go get some real action” Hobi slid back into his seat next to you and his hands quickly slid under your shirt. He brought his face in close to you, nibbling your jaw between kisses. “Aww fuck baby girl, you love this don’t you. Little attention whore aren’t you hm?”

Namjoon’s tongue ran slowly over your clit and Hobi’s warm hand covered both your breasts. Every fiber of your being felt so incredibly stimulated. You were a heaving mess. 

“Hobi” You whined, pulling his face towards yours to kiss him harshly. He could feel the way you craved him in your kiss, as you eagerly tried to rile him up, letting your kisses get sloppier by the second. 

“Get on the table” He mumbled. “Sit pretty for me yeah?” You did, spreading your legs for him as you leaned back slightly. Namjoon got up, your juices trickling down his lips. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and the smirk he left after had you shivering in anticipation.

“What do you think Joon?” Hobi grinned, palming your raw cunt soothingly, “She ready for some cock?” Namjoon didn’t miss a beat, he unbuttoned his pants, allowing his cock to slide out. He stroked himself lazily as he gazed at you. You stared right back at him, enjoying the way his face was blushed red as he jacked off. 

“Hurts” He mumbled. You pouted at him empathetically.

“Oh you poor thing” You reached out to stroke his cock, watching him let out a shaky moan at your touch. “Want me to kiss it better baby?” Namjoon nodded and you heard Hobi chuckle in amusement. You opened your mouth wide, softly tugging his cock so he knew to come towards you. Namjoon inserted his girthy length in your mouth and your tongue rolled over his thick skin, savoring the salty bitterness. You hollowed your cheeks as you began to move your mouth up and down, sucking him relentlessly. 

In the meanwhile, Hobi had pulled out his own cock and pulled your hips to the edge of the table. He slapped his cock against your pussy as you choked on Namjoon. You could feel the warm throbbing head push against your sensitive folds, causing you to squirm with a desire for more. Your pussy clenched on nothing, causing more arousal to seep out onto his cock. 

You choked on Namjoon’s dick as Hobi sunk into you, pulling your hips in close as Namjoon’s cock went further down your throat. You gagged incessently, causing Namjoon to pull out with concern. Hobi began fucking you harshly, thrusting into you with no remorse whatsoever. “Fucking whore can’t even suck cock right?” He scoffed at you playfully, “You really gonna leave him hanging after all he did for you?”

You shook your head dumbly, "Come back baby let me suck you good” Namjoon cursed softly as you pulled him back into your mouth, taking your time to let your tongue wrap around every crevice of his girthy cock. You let your hands snake up his thighs, allowing you to fondle him and stroke him while you bobbed your head back and forth, keeping your eyes glued to his, which was the thing that had him falling apart the most. 

“You’re so...pretty” Namjoon exhaled. He was high but you could see the sincerety in his eyes as if he just had some sort of epiphany. It made you want to suck him even faster, giving this adorable boy all the pleasure in the world like he fucking deserved. 

Hobi noticed you diverge your attention, glaring darkly at the way Namjoon was looking at you. He pulled out and grabbed your hair, pulling you off of Namjoon’s dick, saliva stringing from your lips. 

He made you look straight at him as he brought his face to yours “You made your point okay. Your mine now you got that?” He growled, shoving you back on the table. Your head hit the glass surface painfully and you felt dizzy. Hobi flipped you over and gripped your ass firmly, letting his nails dig into your plump skin. 

“Hit her” He ordered Namjoon, who gave him an uncomfortable look. “Don’t you like her cute ass? Hit it. Hit the bitch like she fucking deserves. Be a fucking man” You could hear the genuine anger in Hobi’s voice, and it was turning you off. 

“I...I’m good. You go ahead if you want” Namjoon said softly, spacing out slightly as he watched the scene unfold. Hobi laughed bitterly, leaning over you so his chest pressed against your back. 

“You see that baby girl? I know how you like it, and I’m the only one who can fucking give it to you good, you understand?”

“Yes--” You muttered, wincing as Hobi smacked your ass again harshly. You crooned at the stinging aftermath. 

“Yes?” Hobi bit your ear and tugged it harshly. “Don’t you know how to address me by now baby girl?”

Smack. “Yes daddy.” You squealed. Hobi hummed in satisfaction. 

“That’s right baby. Don’t you fucking forget it” He shoved his cock back inside you, filling you to the brim. “Fucking slut. Letting me fuck you like this out in the open. Anyone can just see what a whore you are for me. But you love that don’t you huh? You wanna show everybody just how goddamn much you want daddy’s cock isn’t that right baby?” He began to move, thrusting into you quickly as his cock began twitching inside you. “I asked you a fucking question” He snapped, pushing your face down onto the table.

“Yes daddy” You cried out “I love it. I love your cock daddy, need it...” You sighed out as your felt yourself edging on the cusp of your orgasm. As rough as he was, he was right. You loved the way Hobi fucked you. “Please cum in me daddy, want your cum.”

Hobi sucked at your jaw “I know baby. All you ever fucking want is daddy’s cum, I know that. I know you want me to pump you so full of it, fuck my cum into you like the cockslut whore you are. All for me, and only me”

“Yes daddy. Only you. I promise” With that, Hobi came like a flood, bursting his load deep inside you. You whined, losing your own orgasm as he finished just slightly too soon. Before getting off of you, he grabbed the bottle of liquior and turned your face, pouring the alcohol into your mouth. You chocked as the liquid filled your throat, and he stopped, allowing you to gulp it down. 

You felt it hit you right away, finding yourself unable to move as Hobi got off of you.

“Go ahead Namjoon. Fuck her” Hobi fixed his pants back up. You couldn’t see--your vision began to blur as you felt Namjoon lean down to your face.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Is it too much?” His words were slurred. You smiled at him lazily, nodding despite your inability to comprehend what he was even asking you. You were so tired.

The glass started to burn against you as you felt yourself moving back and forth against it. Where were you? You giggled, eyes drooping shut. You heard your name being called. Was it in pleasure or concern? Who knows. You faint.

-

Your head pounds with pain as you wake up. The first thing you notice is that you cant see anything--it’s absolutely dark. There was something covering your eyes. You tried to reach for it and take it off but a rough sensation at your wrists holds you back and you realize they are tied together behind you over some sort of railing. 

“Hello?” You panicked. “Namjoon!? Hobi?!” You tried to tug yourself out of the restraints but they wouldnt budge. You could still feel the weary after effects of the pills you took, everything seemed slow and you mind was freaking out at the lack of light, losing any sense of coherent reality. 

“I’m here y/n” Your heart flooded with relief as you heard Hobi’s familiar voice echo through the room, “Don’t worry you’re gonna be okay, just calm down”

“I’m here too” You heard Namjoon’s voice. He sounded like he was much closer to you, only a few feet away. “What the fuck is going on?” He growled and you hear him trying to break the ropes on his hands with brute strength. 

“Give up Namjoon” A new voice entered the room. It was so familiar but you were too dazed to place it. You suddenly feel something warm close to you, a scent too close for your liking. You squirmed as you felt a hand touch your face.

“Stop! Who are you!?” You tried to turn yourself away from him but he gripped your jaw, fingers digging into your mouth slightly. The person didn’t say any words but you could feel them getting closer.

“Get the fuck away from her” Namjoon growled, tugging at the ropes repeatedly to no avail. 

You gulped as you felt a nose against your cheek. You felt as though someone had punched the air out of your gut, as a pair of lips carefully made contact with your skin. They lingered, and you flinched away as fast as you could. You heard a slight chuckle as the heat from the body seemed to disappear. He was leaving. Thank God.

You close your eyes to try to focus on the sound of his footsteps, heart racing as you hear them move in Namjoon’s direction. Suddenly you heard a loud slap--it sounded like the man just hit Namjoon. Your eyes clenched as you heard Namjoon wince in pain.

You hear more shuffling, and suddenly there are more footsteps. It seemed that more people had come into the room. “Fuck. Get your fucking hands off of me” You hear Namjoon’s voice getting further away.

“Namjoon?” You cry out. You hear a door slam shut and suddenly there is silence again. “Hobi?” You’re petrified, body trembling as the silence persists. You were alone. What were they going to do to you? You began to cry, your sobs echoing throughout with no one to hear. 

-

You had no idea when you fell asleep, but woke up to loud knocking. “Hello! Is anyone in here?” You heard a door open. “Holy shit, Y/n?” You craned your neck to try to recognize the voice, but you were so exhausted and hungover that you couldn’t even think. You felt hands at your wrists untying the rope. The next thing you know light flooded your vision. You squinted at the sudden stimulus, waiting for your vision to adjust so you could see your savior. 

“Jin?” You asked in shock, gaping at the gorgeous man in front of you. Of course. He’s police. I’m safe now. You sighed in relief as tears began to flow from your eyes again. Jin crouched down in from of you, caressing your hands where the rope had dug in slightly. You threw your free hands around his shoulders and hugged him tightly. “S...sorry I just” You stuttered between your cries. Jin softly stroked your back.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now. You’re safe with me”

He let you cry in his arms for a while before you finally were able to gather yourself. He helped you up, holding your hand as the two of you left what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse of some sort. “Namjoon...uh...RM, and a coworker of ours, named Hoseok, they were both with me but someone took them away” You informed him, “Do you know where they are?” Jin stopped momentarily, and you noticed him sigh.

“Not yet. But we’ll find them okay. It’s a little complicated, let’s get in the car and I’ll tell you everything”

Jin held your shoulders down some stairs as you made it to the parking lot. He assisted you in getting into his blue sedan. 

“Your house isn’t far from here, I’ll drop you home after we talk” He informed you as he got into the drivers seat. You curled your legs up into yourself, hugging your knees to your chest for comfort.

“How do you know who I am? Why do you know so much about me?”

“It’s my job to know.” He smiled slightly. “Listen. I’m not exactly sure why, but my intel tells me that you’re being used as some sort of bargaining chip”

You blinked at him in utter confusion, “Bargaining...for what? Who the fuck?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know you hang out with gang members Y/n” Jin chuckled. Your eyes widened.

“Uh...I didn’t...” Well. Jungkook made sense. And sure, then there was Jimin. And if you thought about it, it did made sense that Namjoon was also caught up in something like that--it would explain a lot. 

“I understand that you’re close with Park Jimin” You frowned. The last thing you needed right now was to talk about him of all people. “So don’t play dumb with me. You’re not in any trouble, just tell me what you know”

“Dude...I’m new here okay. I don’t have any information about anything alright. Shouldn’t you know who’s betting on you?” You scoffed. Jin raised his eyebrows.

“Betting? Who said anything about betting?” He smirked as you gaped at him, realizing your slip.

“Oh...I mean...”

“My intel tells me you saw something you shouldn’t have. That’s why you’re being used by some people...possibly another gang...to blackmail the gang who runs Death Valley, and why you’re on his radar”

“Who’s radar?” Was it the same guy from earlier? Or maybe the guy you had seen kicking Namjoon? Or the guy who tied up Jungkook? Was it all the same person? 

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.” Jin stated matter of factly, “No one knows who he is. Well...I think Park Jimin knows who he is, so I have a proposition for you.”

“You want me to snitch” You rolled your eyes. You didn’t love that your new associates seemed to be such dangerous people, but you weren’t the type of person to go try to get anyone in trouble for their own business. “No thanks”

“You’re really not safe Y/n. If we work together, I can make sure no harm comes to you” You thought back to Jungkook’s warnings, smiling inwardly knowing that you had the strong boy waiting for you back at your apartment. He would be able to protect you with no issue, you didn’t need to get involved with the cops.

“No thanks. I’ll be okay. Please just take me home” Jin sighed, tapping the wheel of his car quickly as if he were irritated. 

“Fine. If you change your mind” He pulled out his wallet and handed you a business card, “Call me”

Jin dropped you home and you slowly tried to walk your way to the elevator, slumping inside it once the doors slid open. A few floors up the elevator halted, opening to reveal none other than Min Yoongi. 

“Y/n?” He asked curiously, observing your chaotic state. You had no idea how you looked, but you were sure it was not at all presentable. You groaned internally. Yoongi probably thought you were a trainwreck. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh I--” You straightened yourself up as much as you could, brushing your clothes off and trying to fix your hair urgently. Yoongi looked absolutely stunning, even outside of work. It was refreshing to see him in a simple hoodie and joggers, his earrings still driving you wild. “I love...LIVE. I live here” You internally screamed at yourself for your awkwardness. Yoongi didn’t break a smile, he simply observed you curiously. He glanced at the elevator navigation and pressed a number for the floor above yours. 

“I didn’t know you live in the same building as me.” He stated, “I can give you a ride to work sometime if you’d like”

“Oh! I’d love that...I mean, that would be great you know. Saving the environment and all that” You chuckled, twirling your hair. Yoongi raised his eyebrows at you. His eyes were amused but still no hint of a smile. 

The elevator arrived at your floor, and Yoongi watched as you scrambled to get yourself out of there. “I’ll see you at work, Y/n.” He nodded in your direction. You smiled sheepishly.

The door had almost slid shut but your eyes met his. His gaze was so intense on you, you felt almost like a prey in front of a predator. You finally see a slight tug of a smile as you gulp. How can a human being be so goddamn FINE? 

You finally make your way to your door and realize you don’t have your keys. Fuck they probably stole them. But why did they leave my wallet? You knocked on the door. 

No response.

“Jungkook?” You called out, rapping at the door franticly. “Fuck” You muttered, leaning against the door in defeat. You were so incredibly tired, you just wanted to take a fucking nap. Maybe I can crash at Yoongi’s? Would that be unprofessional? You limped your way back to the elevator. Arriving on his floor you realized you didn’t know which room was his.

You laughed, thinking about how fucking helpless you had been recently. Calling out for all these men to help you. This wasn’t who you were. What the fuck happened to you? When did you become so weak? “Yoongi?” You shouted through the hall, hoping that someone would come out, and if it not him they could direct you to him. A door opened. Funnily enough the room was at the same spot as yours, just on a different floor. 

“Y/n?” Yoongi was shirtless, a towel around his neck and his sweats still on. You ogled at the way his chains sat on his bare chest, and so badly wanted him to turn around so you could see his tattoos. “Everything okay?”

“Uh” You scratched the back of your neck nervously, “Sorry if this is unprofessional” Don’t be sorry. You’re a bad bitch. This shit doesn’t phase you. “I mean. I got fucking locked out. You mind if I crash at your place, I’m just really tired and I had a really long night, I can barely even--”

Yoongi nodded, slipping back into his apartment so fast you didn’t get a chance to see him turn around. You pouted, but followed him inside. 

He seemed to have gone to the bathroom. You carefully closed his door and looked around. His apartment was really nice. As expected, he had lots of awards on display, fancy speakers and expensive looking furniture. What was surprising to you was the lack of drugs. Jimin always had a mess of pills on his kitchen table, and you had assumed all music industry people were like that. You wondered if Yoongi used anything. He probably didn’t, considering how goddamn perfect he is.  

“You can sleep in my room if you want” Yoongi emerged, now clothed, again to your disappointment. He fiddled with a watch on his wrist. Hey that’s the same watch as-- “I need to step out for a bit. Make yourself at home” He gestured towards his bedroom door. You nodded, thanking him as you watched him grab his own keys and head out the door. 

Just as the door closed your phone began to ring. You hadn’t even realized you still had it. You should’ve just called Jungkook you dumbass. You regretted drinking as much as you had last night. Glancing at your phone, your heart skipped a beat seeing that it was Hobi calling.

“My god, are you okay?” You cried out, answering immediately.

“Where are you?”

“I’m at my apartment. What happened, are you guys okay?”

“Yes we’re fine. Namjoon got beat up pretty bad...no idea what that was about, but then Jungkook found us while he was out finishing a deal. Are you okay?" You gulped.

“Yeah I’m okay. I’m glad you both are safe. Are you going to report it to the police?”

You heard Hobi chuckle, “I don’t think that would be a good idea. It was probably Jimin or somebody involved in all that fight betting, gambling bullshit. I really need to knock some sense into Namjoon’s head and get him out of that scene” You sighed. You never wanted to go through anything like this ever again. It was probably best if you stayed away from Death Valley for good. 

“Y/n...I” Hobi inhaled sharply, “I wanted to say I’m sorry for ignoring you. I wont anymore okay. Life is too short for bullshit. Do you...wanna go out sometime? Like on a date?” You felt a warm hug envelop your heart as a smile spread across your lips. You giggled.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Good.” You could hear his goofy smile somehow, “See you soon baby girl” You shut your phone off and make your way into Yoongi’s room. It was a stunning room--super high tech with LED strip lights and a huge mirror wall across the bed. You threw yourself onto the inviting mattress, burying your face in his soft pillows as you finally let the heavy weight of sleep take you over.

Hands trailed up your legs, grabbing at your bare ass cheeks and pulling them apart. “Fuck” You heard you felt a slap to your skin. The hands gripped your waist, pulling you back. You felt a sharp pain in your shoulders as you realized your arms were spread wide out, handcuffed to something. A hand grabbed the back of your head and shoved it down into the pillow, muffling your breath. You tried to groan out as you felt a cock push inside you “Yoongi” You whined, “Yoongi I want more”

“You’re beautiful” You hear him say, making you smile internally while your face continued to get smushed further into the pillow. You choked out as he quickly began thrusting into you. 

“Fuck” You cried out as a pleasure unlike anything before hit you “More...please” You urged him on “Faster Yoongi....please go faster I need” You panted, barely able to breathe “I need you...please”

You woke up with a start, blinking as the early rays of the morning sun filtered through tinted windows. You sighed, feeling your pussy clench in defeat as your dream ended a bit too soon. You were in Yoongi’s bed, however you were tucked in, and you realized that you were wearing different clothes. His clothes. You looked around but Yoongi wasn’t there. Checking your phone, you see more missed calls from Namjoon along with a long array of texts that you knew youd have to read eventually. You crawled out of bed, looking at yourself in Yoongi’s large mirror wall. 

You walked out of his bedroom to see him sitting at his kitchen counter, typing away on his laptop with a Redbull and a bagel out by him. You noticed that he was wearing glasses, and that his hair was still messy from sleep. He regarded you as you entered the kitchen. 

“Sleep well?” He asked kindly. You nodded. “Would you like something to eat? You seemed pretty hungover. Better get some food into your system” He pushed the bagel towards you. You hadn’t realized it but you were starving. You ravished the bagel rapidly, not even caring that your boss was right in front of you. Or that you were literally in his house wearing his clothes. “Is everything okay Y/n? You seemed frazzled yesterday” You stared at him, mouth stuffed with food. 

“Um” You quickly swallowed, “I actually got kidnapped” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows with concern.

“Come again?”

“Yeah. Do you know Death Valley? I was there with” Should you tell him you were there with coworkers? Probably not “...Friends and we blacked out and someone literally kidnapped us. But luckily the cops found us”

“Cops?”

“Yeah. I didn’t get hurt or anything but it was just scary” Yoongi closed his laptop and stared at you.

“I’m...so sorry you had to go through that. Please, feel free to take the day off if you need to, that sounds really traumatic” You shook your head, but your heart glowed at how sweet he was. Behind that cold expression, you realized that he actually seemed like a really caring guy. 

“Thanks Yoongi, but I’m okay. I’m strong” You affirmed more to yourself than to him. Yoongi’s eyes flashed with amusement at your statement “I think I’ll head back to my place, I uh...can call a friend to let me in”

“Alright. Just take care of yourself okay?” You thanked him, before grabbing your things and heading out. 

Upon reaching your own apartment door you knocked again, hoping Jungkook made it home in one piece.

“Y/n, is that you?” You sighed with relief that you were finally going to be let inside. The door swung open.

“Thank God, I literally--” You froze. 

Standing in front of you was not Jungkook. 

No.

It was Taehyung. 

ᐊ——[ previous ] series navi | masterlist | [ next ]——ᐅ

a/n: yoongi really be melting our hearts like butter. ha. i dont know if my hints and stuff are like...making sense? I hope so lol. more jimin next week i promise! and all you jin and yoongi people just TRUST ME. it’s all coming. ;) as always, thank you for reading & have a great day <3 part 3′s smut pairs are up on the series masterlist! see you next week ;)

taglist: @imluckybitches @gee-nee @missseoulite @hcneybees @kooookie @queenmasterxx @crustycaitlin @virgo-and-libra @un2-verse @winter-melontea @equivocacies @infernal-alpaca @shrimpmsg @meowmeowyoongles @rjsmochii @liltangerined @littlrmills14-blog @issysor @arandomblackgirl @adoringinsanity @giadalin @jeontier 

[carnationdoe]

Min Yoongi x reader | Single Parent | Fluff | PG | wc: 1100

For this year's Secret Valentien project by @btscreatorscorner​  I was assigned the lovely @sunshinerainbowsbts so hereby I present my gift to you, Sunny (Even if its a little late). 

Beta read by @rkivian​ and @mapleglasses27

| MASTERLIST |​

The sun had truly shown itself from its better side today, having peeked through the clouds ever since the early morning hours and warming the chilled winter air. Maybe it too understood the importance of this day. Well, the importance it held for some.

And even though this  was easily  the day your boutique made most of its earnings, you could not help but dread  the day. In itself, the day was hectic at best, but the days up to it were just as chaotic because of all the preparations you had to do. It was also the reason why you were currently running on minimal amounts of sleep.

Fortunately for you, the amount of customers seemed to be decreasing ever so slowly, making it possible for you to finally take a small break. Your tired legs almost buckled under you as you leaned against the counter, eyes darting around the shop.

Finally alone.

“What a day…” you sighed, closing your eyes only for them to shoot open in shock when you suddenly heard the all too familiar sound of the chime on top of the door, warning you that someone had entered the shop. You straightened your back and looked over at the door, but there was no one there.

Maybe, your mind was playing tricks on you? It would not be the first time nor would it be the last time it had done so. But that thought was shot down when your ears picked up on footsteps coming toward you. The steps were hesitant and came to a sudden stop, you held your breath; Fear striking.

Seconds passed before you heard a whimper, immediately you jumped up from the chair and rushed toward the sound. Your eyes darted around, trying to locate the source of the noise. However, it seemed that the source itself had other plans because as you stepped around the counter, something or rather someone tugged at your pant leg.

Chubby fingers clung to the fabric of your pants, their snotty little nose buried in your leg and big doe and teary eyes looking up at you like you held the answers to the world.

“A-app-” The child hiccupped, pressing themself even further onto you.

Without even thinking, you had swiped the child up into your arms and started to comfort them. “Shhh, I am right here,” you murmured, your voice soothing and soft while caressing their hair to provide the comfort they so desperately needed.

As the sobs subsided, the child pulled back and looked at you. Finally, you took the time to look over the child; A mop of dark hair paired with big doe eyes, a cute little button nose sprinkled with freckles and chubby cheeks that matched the chubby legs and arms every child that age should have. They wore a beige dress with small hearts on.

A beautiful little girl.

“Hey there pretty little lady”

The girl let out a squeak and pressed her head into your chest again. You could not help but giggle. A few seconds went by before she peaked up at you from her ‘hiding’ spot.

“Appa.. no appa,” she stuttered, falling over her words in her attempt to communicate with you. You nodded your head knowingly, understanding what she tried to tell you. Your eyes flicked over to the shop windows, but were only met with the darkness from outside.

A sigh passed your lips; this was going to be difficult.

“Would you like some chocolate milk?” you asked, already moving toward the machine as the girl started nodding her head rapidly. Another giggle passed your lips at how cute she looked, her hair tossing around her head and a little pout on her lips.

You settled the girl on the counter and gave her a cup. She wrapped both of her hands around it, moving it up toward her lips before taking a big sip. When she moved the cup away, she let out an ‘ah!” while smacking her lips.

“Does the pretty little lady have a name?”

“Yejun” She answered proudly, puffing out her chest.

“Hello Yejun” you said and introduced yourself, offering your hand to her with a smile. She took your hand into her much smaller one and gave it a light squeeze before going back to sipping on her chocolate milk.

Yejun seemed much more at ease with her chocolate milk in hand even though her father was still missing. Luckily enough it was not long before your eyes caught sight of a frantic looking man outside of the shop windows. The two of you locked eyes for only a split second before his eyes flicked to the child in front of you.

“Yejun! Thank God!” The man ripped open the door and ran toward Yejun, who was making grabby hands toward the man while crying “appa”.

He frantically pulled Yejun into his arms and held her against him tightly for a few moments, before sitting her down on the counter again: “Are you okay?” he was fidgeting over her, feeling and searching for anything that might not have been there before their sudden separation.

Fortunately, he found nothing.

He heaved a sigh of relief and planted a kiss on her forehead, then he turned around to face you.

“Thank you so much for finding Yejun!” He thanked you before beginning to ramble about how she had suddenly disappeared from one moment to another.

You could not help but notice that Yejun’s dad was just as handsome as she was cute. She had inherited his dark hair and cute button nose, but what really made your knees bent was the gummy smile he showed as he looked at his child.

“I understand. Children are hard work, but Yejun has been nothing but an angel,” you assured the man with a gentle touch on his arm.

His eyes lightened up when you complimented his child, chest filling with pride that even in such a highly emotional situation his little girl had been polite.  

“Still..-” He started but stopped when Yejun tugged at his shirt, the man bending down toward her and she whispered something into his ear. He let out a soft ‘ah’ before straightening himself up.

This time when he looked at you, you could not help but notice the light glint he had in his dark eyes.

“Can Yejun and I invite you out for a cup of coffee?” He asked confidently. However, the sudden confidence seemed to diminish as fast as it had come when you did not reply immediately. “Of course only if-”

You touched his arm, making him halter in his sentence. You gave him a shy smile.

“That sounds wonderful, let me just close the shop.”

I choose the prompt: Kid playing matchmaker because who isn’t a sucker for diff BTS?