slow hands
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Summary: You are insecure because Bucky seems to be avoiding getting intimate with you. But after a heart to heart talk he shows you how wrong you are with that...
Wordcount: 2.1k
Warnings: hurt/comfort. mention of trauma. kissing. anxiety. established relationship. slight nsfw +18 (because of fingering and stuff).
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His lips were gently touching yours. Your fingers ran through his thick hair and wandered to his broad shoulders in search of support. Bucky sighed and leaned even deeper into the kiss. His weight above you pushed you further into the pillow. His bionic hand was on your hip while he held himself up with the other next to your head.
You just recently got together and since then there was hardly a moment when you could keep your hands off each other.
You wanted to be as close to him as possible, so you wrap a leg around his hip to pull him down to you until your hips could touch.
Bucky froze.
„What is it?” You ask uncertainly.
Bucky swallowed hard. “I - I think I’d should go now.”
Without waiting for your answer, he left your room. The feeling of shame gripped your chest. Did you go too far? You had never talked about the next step, but somehow got to this point anyway.
What if he don’t want that? What if he doesn’t want you in that way?
The next morning your head ached like hell from the restless night with fearful thoughts.
Coffee. Coffee is the solution for everything. At least it made you responsive when Steve entered the kitchen.
„As I can see, I can save myself the ‘good morning’,” he joked and grabbed a cup from the shelf.
You give him an annoyed look. “Spare yourself, Cap.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Damn you’re in a bad mood. What did Bucky do now?”
You put down your coffee cup and rest your chin on your hands. “Nothing at all. That’s the weird thing.”
„Come again?”
You hesitate for a moment. “How comfortable are you talking to me about my sex life?”
Steve spit the sip of coffee back into the cup and started coughing hard. Smiling, you pat him on the back, even if it didn’t seem to help.
„That wasn’t on my to-do list,” Steve said when he caught his breath again. “But I’m all ears.”
You lift yourself onto the kitchen counter and let your legs dangle. “We had a really nice evening together yesterday. It was getting late and then ... well then we had...”
„Sex?“
„No! Well I mean that’s what it came down to ... I think.”
Steve leaned with his hip go the counter. “You have to be a little more specific if you want my help.”
A frustrated sigh escaped you. “We had ... a moment.”
„A moment?”
„Yes. It became ... well more intimate. And then Bucky suddenly behaved very strangely, as if he was afraid of something. Then he left.”
Steve nodded silently. He seemed to think about your problem and was looking for the right words.
„Did you two ever had ...?”
„No. But this is not the first time he withdraws from me. Usually he just interrupts the kiss or something. But this time... this time it was different.”
You wipe a tear out of the corner of your eye before it could run down your face.
“I think I know what’s going on,” Steve said, squeezing your hand for comfort.
You snort. “He doesn’t want me that way... right?”
„Fuck no that’s certainly not it,” laughed Steve and you stud at the curse that came over his lips.
“Listen. Bucky is my best friend and I know exactly how he behaves when he is attracted to someone. And believe me, he’s acting even more like a love-sick idiot with you than ever before.”
Your cheeks got warm at the thought of him being in … love with you.
Steve looked away. “We both come from a different time. A lot has changed and a lot of time has passed. It was hard for me to build a wide variety of relationships with others, so I don’t want to imagine how hard it is for Bucky.
„So you mean Bucky withdraws because he doesn’t know what to do?”
Steve nodded cautiously. “Maybe. He’s been through a lot. Has seen and experienced things that I would not wish on my worst enemy. If I were in his place, it would be difficult for me too.”
That made you think. And a little part of you knew Steve could be right.
„Thank you, Cap.”
Steve tapped his forehead with two fingers. “At your service, ma’am.”
That same evening you found yourself in front of the door to Bucky’s room.
Quietly you knock on the door before you let yourself in. Bucky sat with a bent posture over his side table and scribbled something on paper.
“Hey, Buck,” you say softly to draw attention to yourself.
Bucky turned to you and stood up immediately. “Hey, Doll”
His hands found their place on your hips and he pulled you into a deep kiss.
Every fiber of your body threatened to fall apart in his hands. It took you a lot of strength not to sink against his hard chest.
A little out of breath, you stopped the kiss.
Think. You came to talk. No pressure.
„What are you doing?”, you ask instead, nodding to the desk.
Bucky grinned. “I’ll show you.”
His blue eyes flashed excitedly and he brushed a few lost strands of hair from his face. Your gaze glided over his muscular arm, which didn’t exactly help to keep a clear head.
Oh great heavens. God help me.
„Do you like it?”
He pointed to a drawing made with a charcoal pencil. It was a face. It was your face.
„Bucky ... you drew me?” Your voice trembled with emotion.
He stood close behind you so that your back was leaning directly against his chest and stomach. His arms wrapped around your waist and he pressed a gentle kiss on your shoulder.
„We haven’t seen each other today, so I had to distract myself. I can’t last long not being with you.”
Tears gathered in your eyes. Damn you hormones.
„It’s beautiful, Bucky. You have an incredible talent.”
He turned you around to him and put the index finger of his bionic hand under your chin. “It’s not half as beautiful as the original.”
His lips rested on yours and a desperate sigh escaped you. Your hands moved into his neck and sought a hold. Bucky groans as you softly bury your fingers in his hair. In response, your body pressed even tighter against his, as if by itself. The kiss became more intense and...
„Wait.” Your breathing stumbled but you manage to bring distance between you two. “Wait, please.”
Bucky looked at you alarmed. “What is it, doll? Did I do something wrong?”
And there it was.
Clear as day. Bucky looked downright remorse. As if all his worst fears had come true.
Steve was right.
„No, you did everything right. I’m the one who did something wrong.”
Shaking your head, you step away from him and let yourself sink on the bed. “I’m sorry, Bucky.”
Confused, he sank to his knees and rested his hands on the mattress next to your thighs. “What are you apologizing for?”
Because of his size, you were still at eye level, even if he knelt on the floor in front of you.
“For what happened yesterday.”
Understanding flashed in his eyes before he lowered his gaze. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
You put a hand on his rough cheek. “I pushed you.”
Bucky laughed unluckily, then kissed your palm and looked up at you again. “No, you haven’t. The fact that I had to end this so quickly yesterday and ran away was certainly not because you pushed me to do something I don’t want to do. Believe me, I want that. Fuck, I want you so bad.”
His words alone made your body tremble. The desire to be close to him grew immeasurably and brought the almost physical pain.
„But why ... I mean what can I do to ...?”
Bucky grabbed your hips with a firm grip, but did not move further. The intensity of his touch was not painful but much more desperate.
„Every time you kiss me, everything in me just explodes. It’s like you’re dropping gasoline into me and then lighting it all up. I can’t control the feeling and ... that worries me.”
You kiss him on the forehead and elicit a smile from him.
„But that’s not all. I ... the last time I slept with someone was - well over a hundred years ago. And I can’t remember a lot of that time. Especially the good things - the good memories were damaged. So if you touch me - if you kiss me, then I want to do so much more with you ... but I don’t know how anymore.”
Embarrassed, he closed his eyes and made a face as if he was punched in the gut.
Carefully you slide closer to him, so that you had to spread your legs further. “Then it has nothing to do with the fact that you don’t want me the way I want you?”
Bucky’s eyes snapped open and the lust that was reflected in them was so intense that you wanted to kneel down. His lips parted and you could feel his breathing quicken with a heartbeat.
„You have no idea what you’re doing to me, do you? The thought that you want me? That alone is enough to drive me crazy, doll.”
A devilish smile settled on your lips. “If that’s the case...”
With trembling fingers you reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it gently but firmly. Bucky leaned back a bit so you could take it off.
Then your own top also wandered to the floor next to his.
Bucky swallowed hard. His beautiful face was like that of a thirsty man and he literally devoured you with his gaze.
„How about we create new memories together?”
Bucky hesitated. “Love ... what if I lose control?” His gaze flew to his bionic arm. “What if I hurt you?”
You kiss him gently. “I trust you. You’re a good man, Bucky. You’re strong and I know you’d never hurt me, no matter what.”
That seemed to break his resistance.
In a matter of seconds, Bucky had grabbed you and pulled you to him. His lips pressed hungrily on yours, conquering you and driving you crazy.
With a smooth movement he stood up, put your legs around his hips and laid you on the bed. Your hands explored his bare chest and wandered over his broad shoulders to his back.
Everything about him was warm and inviting. Strong but not threatening. Demanding but not intimidating. His body was clearly acting on autopilot, because nothing of his insecurities could be noticed.
He gently bit your throat which made you moan in surprise.
He faltered.
„Sorry I ...”
„Don’t you dare to you apologize for that!”
Your voice was so full of lust that it made Bucky grin. He slowly understood that you liked what he did to you.
„Give me your hand.”
He hesitated. Obviously he didn’t know which one you meant. Bionic or flesh.
You point to the bionic. “Do you feel everything with it?”
„Not always. The sensors imitate what I should feel, but it’s not the same.”
Before he could dive too much into the thought, you took his other hand and showed him the way between your legs.
Bucky’s eyes widened and he understood. He don’t have to be asked twice.
Slowly his hand moved under the waistband of your pants and panties and found your most sensitive spot. You gasp for air, claw at him and bend towards him.
His fingers moved in circles and agonizingly slow. And Bucky enjoyed every little sound he caused with it.
He covered you with little kisses. Shoulder. Clavicle. Neck. Jaw. Chin. Cheek. Lips.
You got dizzy from his affection.
“I could do this forever. Watching you fall apart under me. Because of me. God, you’re so beautiful.”
His hand movements became faster. Your hip twitched uncontrollably.
„Bucky …“
“Cum for me, love.”
And you did.
Bucky held you in his arms as the wave of climax collapsed over you. He pressed gentle kisses on your heated skin, whispered sweet words in your ear and smiled more than just satisfied.
“You definitely know how to do that,” you say breathlessly and giggle.
„I thought you might have liked it.”
With a cheeky grin you straighten up and get rid of your pants and panties, then your hands find the waistband of his pants and pulled it until the two of you were completely naked.
You put a hand on his chest, feel the wildly pounding heart underneath and made him lean back. Then you settle down on his lap and thus also on him.
Bucky groaned, wrapped his arms around you and looked up at you as if you were a goddess.
„Fuck, doll.“
“Yes, please.”
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Thank you so much for reading! 💙 All interactions are highly appreciated (but please don’t copy my work)
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