Moonrise! So I had this dumb idea. This is more of a shitpost but I thought it would be funny. It would be a comic strip but I can't draw. So little drabble it is. The Poly Four. As a fandom, we need to come up with a better ship name for them. Tw: S3xual innuendos, swearing.
The bank alarm was going off as the Fearsome Four ran off, each with a bag or two of loot. They kept in close formation while they escaped, making sure nobody fell behind or got lost. The group was blocked by a cloud of blue smoke in front of them. They slowed to a stop.
"I am the terror that flaps in the night..."
Liquidator splashed to be closer to Bushroot, also putting more distance between himself and his electric companion should a fight break out. Quackerjack and Megavolt jumped close together, getting into a fighting stance.
"I am the family disappointment that doesn't bring anything to the potluck."
Bushroot looked over at Quackerjack, who was looking at him as well with an amused face. They shared a small snicker at the bad line.
"I am... Darkwing Duck!!" The short duck spread his cape in what he must have thought to be a menacing manner. He then whipped out his gas gun and pointed it at the gang. He smirked, already amused by his next line. "Hello, Fearsome Foursome!"
Liquidator rolled his eyes, about to make a comment about how mature that was, when Megavolt spoke up.
"How did you know about that?"
In an instant, all eyes were on the electric rodent. He was staring at Darkwing in genuine confusion. His brain had stalled when he heard the remark, and he'd spat out the first thing that came to his mind.
Darkwing lowered his gun and cocked his head. "Know about wha-" He cut himself off, eyes widening as he realized what Megavolt implied. "Wait what the fu-"
"BAHAHAHAHOOHOO!" Quackerjack dropped his bags and burst out laughing, falling out of his defensive position. He put his hands on his knees and failed to collect himself. "He didn't mean it literally!" he pointed out to his partner.
A zap ran up the rat's spine as he realized, flying off his hat. "Oh-"
"Megavolt!" Bushroot yelled, hiding his face in his leaves. He let the one bag he was holding fall to the ground. His face turned dark green from the chlorophyll flooding his cheeks. Little red flowers sprouted up through his hair, a mixture of marigolds, chrysanthemums, and white peonies. He groaned into his hands, muttering something about his teammate.
If Liquidator could blush, he would have. "Three out of four supervillains agree that that was very embarrassing." He slowly sank down into a puddle so that his face couldn't be seen. The two bags he was holding just sat on top of the water. Quackerjack continued to laugh his ass off, clutching his side and falling to his knees.
"How would that even work?!" Darkwing exclaimed. "One of you is water and one is a vegetable. Can Liquidator and Megavolt even touch?"
"That's not your business," Megavolt said, crossing his arms and glaring.
Darkwing threw his hands up. "Seriously, you're together? How did that happen?"
Bushroot looked up from his hands, glowering. "It's a long story that's none of your business, dammit."
Quackerjack looked up at Darkwing and wiped tears from his eyes. "You- you can at least say you called it, ha!"
Bushroot glared at his partner. "Quackerjack, this isn't funny! What about this is funny?"
"The chrysanthemums in your hair, for one-"
"Shut up," Bushroot warned, pointing a finger at him.
Quakcerjack pulled the strings of his hat in a cross. "That and this must make him feel so alone! Unless that sidekick of yours is-"
"What?!" Darkwing exclaimed. "No! Nonono! Launchpad and I are partners in crime fighting. Nothing more. He's my pilot."
"Uh-huh," Megavolt said, lifting the bag he'd been holding over his shoulder. He was blushing furiously. "I've known you for a decade. And I know you're gayer than a bucket of wings."
Liquidator rose his head, chest, and arms out of the puddle. "Did you just quote The Prom?"
The masked mallard stuttered. "I am not gay! I have a girlfriend!"
"Is it your sidekick?" Quackerjack asked.
Liquidator rose up all the way and flowed over to Megavolt, putting a careful arm around his shoulder. His other hand gestured grandly to the hero. "That, my dears, is a genuine homosexual in denial!"
"Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Quackerjack teased. He pulled a match out of nowhere and struck it on the street. He threw it at Darkwing and snagged up one of his bags. "Let's go!"
Darkwing's cape caught on fire. He shrieked and tried to take it off to stomp out, only succeeding in tripping himself. The rest of the villains grabbed their bags and ran out of the area, down an alleyway. They came upon an empty parking lot where Megavolt had left his car. They were quick to jump in, dropping the loot on the floor in the back. Megavolt got in the driver's seat and Quackerjack leaped in shotgun. Bushroot wound up behind the jester, Liquidator sitting in his own seat behind the driver's. It was covered in plastic wrap so he didn't short out the whole car. There was a moment of silence from them as Megavolt started the car and began high-tailing it out.
Liquidator looked over at Bushroot, smiling a bit. "Marigolds?"
The plant-duck plucked a couple of the flowers from his hair. They were an annoying trait he'd developed. When feeling extremely emotional, he'd blossom flowers. It was embarrassing, and often a dead giveaway his boyfriends used to read him. "Yeah, what of it?"
Megavolt glanced at him in the mirror, snickering. "What are the white ones? Peonies?"
Bushroot glared, crossing his arms and looking out the window. "Liq, tell Megavolt I'm not going to talk to him after he outed us to Darkwing Duck!"
Bud rolled his eyes at his lovers. "It's not like we're entirely subtle about it. Especially Megavolt and Quackerjack."
Quackerjack looked at him in the rear-view mirror. "We gave him a crisis to even it out. Fair play. Besides, we got away with the loot."
"Yeah, when you set him on fire," Bushroot said bitterly.
Megavolt glanced at his jester. "Isn't that your second account of arson?"
"Second. Third. Fourth. Not sure at this point," the clown admitted.
Bushroot groaned and rubbed the bridge of his beak with his hand. "Sweet Gaia, what is your problem?"
"Us," Liquidator answered smugly.
"They're our problem," Bushroot quipped.
"Come on. You're not gonna stay mad at him, are you Reggie?" Quackerjack asked, turning around to look at the plant-duck.
Bushroot turned so he was looking out the window and not at his boyfriends. He kept his vines crossed in contempt.
Megavolt looked back at him, frowning. "Aw. I'm sorry, my precious orchid."
Megavolt's new nickname for him made Bushroot reconsider his anger. He sighed and turned back a bit to look at them. "Fine. We'll talk about this when we get home."
Quackerjack grinned in satisfaction and turned back to face forward. "Good! Hey, can we get takeout on the way home?"
Liquidator nodded, smiling at the jester. "Of course. That sounds like a lovely idea."
Megavolt made a sudden jerk to the steering wheel, turning a corner to go to a different destination in that case. "Sounds great. Come to think of it, it sounds really good. I might not have eaten today."
"It's almost midnight, babe," Liquidator noted aloud.
"I know. I had some orange juice this morning."
"I guess chow mein or something sounds tasty right now," Bushroot said. It wasn't often he actually ate, being able to photosynthesize. But hey, tasting was still an ability he had. Might as well use it.
That's it. Bad ending. This ended up way longer than it was supposed to. It was supposed to be just Megavolt outing them but hey. Fluff. So I'd rate this as suggestive crack fluff. Farewell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbages, don't eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!
Moonset!