#butchfemmes

[femme-4-butches]

Sex and Rage, lesbian strip club party. Jean Cleverley.

[miffyofthevalley]

happy lesbian visibility week to disabled lesbians, poc lesbians, trans lesbians, stone lesbians, immigrant lesbians, refugee lesbians, chronically ill lesbians, mentally ill lesbians, fat lesbians, religious lesbians, lesbians living in conservative areas, lesbians in the closet, lesbians struggling with addiction, marginalised lesbians, lesbians who always feel alone. you are so so so valued and important to our community, never forget that 🩷

[essiebitssie]

Half a decade ago, I wrote an article about model minority. In that article I was explaining how as a minority and marginalized group, we are often expected to be "nicer about it". Ofc when I wrote that, it was from the perspective of oppressor v oppressed. But recently I realized I was wrong, the angle was supposed to be norm v outlier.

A group of people may not have the systemic power to oppress you, but they can isolate you. So when a lot of normative Butchfemme Lesbians like to say, "we can't oppress you! We're the minority!" it doesn't really matter, because non-normative Butchfemmes, those who are bisexual, trans, genderdiverse, genderqueer, non-whitewashed BIPOCs, have consistently shared how they're being harassed and cast aside from Butchfemme spaces.

With that, the burden to educate people fall onto them, along with the scrutiny, the -phobia, the harassment, the racism even. Through it all, they are still expected to "explain nicely" because what if people are curious?

Why does the burden to extend patience and understanding for bigoted and harmful people fall onto the persons being affected, and not the Community's responsibility to sit down and listen?

When they do talk about their experiences, it gets shut down, twisted, even ignored. The only time they are talked about is when they loudly take up space, and even then, it was accompanied by numerous pushbacks and harassment.

It's definitely interesting how the Community that started out to be an inclusive space for non-normative queer people, are now casting away most of their members towards the edge of conversation, and pretend they don't exist. All in the name of preserving said community from "cisheteropatriarchy".

[batfemme-posting]

I don't like the term wlw nor I feel comfortable with being called sapphic.

No, that doesn't mean I don't like women. No, it doesn't mean I'll kill every poor soul that calls me any of those. No, it doesn't mean I like men. No, it's not selfish to not identify with those terms even if I'm the living, dictionary definition of a sapphic.

Just call me a lesbian, promise you, it's not that hard. There's really a difference between being lesbian and being a sapphic. Shit, sometimes I would even prefer people to call me a dyke instead of sapphic.

[femme-4-butches]

Nothing But The Girl: The Blatant Lesbian Image (1996), by Susie Bright, Jill Posener.

[essiebitssie]

Butchfemme Book Recommendation:

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

Synopsis: Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the feeling took root-that desire to look, to move closer, to touch. Whenever it started growing, it definitely bloomed the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. Suddenly, everything seemed possible. But America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father-despite his hard-won citizenship—Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.

I've seen several butchfemme book recommendation lists, yet I rarely seen any featuring this book. Last Night At The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo is a really good start into butchfemme culture, because the author, as East Asian, didn't only focus on the Butchfemme aspect, but the struggle of Lily Hu as East Asian immigrant and how that affects her femmeness, sexuality, and how she navigates racism in butchfemme spaces and homophobia in her family. It's one of the media where a one's femmeness is written as very intentional. Lily Hu isn't written as a femme simply because her girlfriend is a butch.

This book being my first introduction to the Butchfemme culture helped gain the foundation to navigate Butchfemme spaces. Though I will say, reading LNATTC before diving into Butchfemme literature is a little disappointing when I realize there aren't many Butchfemme literature by BIPOC authors.

Malinda Lo didn't shy away from asian fetishization, asian activism, and the "model minority" myth. I have met butches who were reluctant to read this book because it didn't center butchness, but I think the Butchfemme collective should give it a try, to gain more insight on BIPOC femmes (and butches) experience in the predominantly white spaces.

[essiebitssie]

"Short femmes have it all!"

You lot confuse attraction with humanization. No wonder we're in this shit show of a community that we're in right now. I am literally a black femme. For every time you white femmes complain about how "short femmes have it all", I already have people telling me throughout my life that my existence is a fetishization. I'm short, and I have soft features, so people who are attracted to me, must be attracted to children. But please, please go ahead and tell me how I fucking have it all. I have been told that there's no way someone can be genuinely attracted to me, or my personality, it must be because I'm a short SEAsian fem. But pleaseee tell me how I fucking have it all.

I have MoC (masc, butch and masculine-of-center) performing white benevolence and benevolent sexism because I'm black and "robotic", and ohhh they just want me to let loose! And ohhh I must need help with everything like I didn't work manual labors and is the breadwinner of my family for years!!

But yeah, I absolutely have it all because I receive advances that are often times violates my autonomy as a person, because I'm short and cursed with soft features. Please tell me again how I have it all! There is absolutely no way someone can be attracted to me without it being seen as weird or a fetishization, but of course I fucking have it all!

You fuckers just failed in allyship, intersectional feminism, and basic critical thinking. This is how you criticize euro-centric beauty standards? By dunking on another demographic and attacking other people's bodies? Fucking embarrassing.