Passionate love is a desire, a lust, an uncontrollable feeling you have. An attraction for someone so great you may feel aroused; temporary love.
Companionate love, a deep, mature, affectionate attachment between people who love each other, like each other, and respect each other. It’s based more on a friendship, having common interests, having trust in each other; lasting love.
1) One key ingredient of companionate love is equity - both partners receive in proportion to what they give. When equity exists both partners freely give and receive, and share decision-making.
2) Another key ingredient of loving relationships is self-disclosure-the revealing of intimate details about ourselves (our dreams and worries, our proud and shameful moments, etc)
"Bellamy is Clarke's sloppy seconds. Lexa was her first." Ok so abiding by this theory: 1) Finn was/is clarke's one true love. 2) niylah was her sloppy seconds. 3) and dear old Lexa is a sloppy third.
YO BELARKE FAM YO C.LEXA FAM I got some facts for you . Lets name memorable moments for Bellarkes . - "I'm a monster " moment - If you need forgiveness I can give you that "You're forgiven" -I can't loose you too -Together - "Bellamy!" (Radio moment) "Clarke.." - I want to keep you safe - "WE NEED CLARKE, WE can't loose ...Clarke" (Few of many) Now time for the C.lexa -kiss -Lol fuck u sky-krew , I let a bomb drop on my people, the mountain can have u -bow -sex -death
Warning: this can be interpreted as non flattering to C.lexa; if you’re sensitive to that, DON’T READ PLEASE
First I’m just gunna do a rundown of Clarke’s relationships
Flarke:
meet, 10 days later they have “you’re not alone” sex, she saves his life, then the whole Raven debacle, ignore each other, he says he loves her, more ignoring, get separated, she worries about him (and Bellamy) he goes crazy searching for her and shoots 18 grounders, she’s terrified of him, he surrenders himself, she tells him she loves him then kills him only to mourn for 1 ep
C.lexa:
meet, L.exa tells Clarke Finn needs to die in order to start the alliance, tells Clarke that she will always remember killing him, nothing happens, save each other from Pauna, random kiss after like 11 days, Clarke turns her down, more of nothing happening, L.exa brings up Clarke caring about Bellamy, L.exa invites Clarke to Polis, L.exa betrays Clarke, L.exa gets Roan to kidnap Clarke and bring her to Polis because she needs her for the coalition, Clarke spits in L.exa’s face and tells her she’ll kill her, Clarke holds knife to L.exa’s throat, Clarke bows to L.exa in front of the coalition, L.exa bows in private and swears fealty only to Clarke, promises not to harm Skaikru, Clarke doesn’t want L.exa to fight Roan, fanfic healing scene with candles and thigh slit nightgowns, forgives L.exa after like only 2 eps, gets L.exa to change policy, draws L.exa, L.exa declares a kill order and blockade on Skaikru, Clarke decides to leave, interrupts L.exa’s I love you, goodbye sex, L.exa dies, Clarke looks at a chip for 8 episodes, L.exa saves her in the CoL, Clarke says ADR I love you
Bellarke:
meet, hate each other, saves her from pit, starts to respect her, he gets flustered after touching her, save each other, become partners, co leaders, unity day, help each other grow, looks, eye conversations, heart eyes, has to close the dropship door on him and Finn, separated, worried about him, hug #1, fire scene, can’t lose you too, protects her, just makes sense, I was being weak, you care about him more, relieved he’s alright on radio, reunited in mt weather, together #1, goodbye kiss and hug #2, does everything to save her, begs for his life, CAN’T LOSE CLARKE, tries to save clarke again, come home to yours, I’m sorry, hakeldama fight, hands, reunited again, not as devoted to Gina, hand healing, demons, falls into his arms for no reason whatsoever, beach scene, we need each other, hug #3, together #2, watches as she passes out, I trust you, Bellamy is her weakness, trying to save someone you care about, Clarke grabs Bellamt’s hand for comfort, I believe you, King and Queen standing by throne
Now I’ll actually explain why Bellarke is written the best…
Let’s just all agree that Flarke was badly written. They wanted Clarke to have a romance so they made a character specifically for that purpose. Finn really didn’t do much besides try and fail to make peace with the grounders on multiple occasions, and cheat on Raven with Clarke. Finn was the Designated Love Interest™.
Designated Love Interest™: A character in a story who, despite being presented as the One True Love of a central character, doesn’t seem to have much of a relationship with said character at all.
This is Flarke to a T. After Clarke finds out about Raven Clarke ignores Finn at all costs for practically the rest of the season, then magically right before he dies we find out she loved him. Makes no sense at all. Not written in a believable way. They really didn’t have much chemistry and they didn’t help each other grow as characters. Plus she never seemed to trust him. She always trusted Bellamy more.
C.lexa had potential to be a good romance; if it had been written correctly. They were from opposing sides. Very Romeo and Juliet. (Although you could say that a Romeo and Juliet story arc was destined to fail since the beginning). Unfortunately time and plot did not allow for it to grow into a good romance. Due to the lack of time the writers had they had to rush everything C.lexa did this season. They wanted to create a whole relationship that started with a betrayal in only 7 episodes. A well thought out romance doesn’t work like that. And in order for them to do this, they neglected the actual plot line. Thus the C.lexa romance became a Romance Plot Tumor™.
Romance Plot Tumor™: when a comparatively weak romantic sub-plot overtakes the potentially more interesting main plot.
“A telltale sign of a Romantic Plot Tumor™ is that you could edit out the romance thread completely and have the story still make sense (and be a more bearable length).”
If they we took out all the C.lexa romance scenes, the Polis story arc would still make sense. Plus we would’ve had more time to show key plot scenes like Bellamy’s mindset and why he decided to follow Pike. C.lexa was just too rushed and there was too much pandering to the fans that it hurt itself. Overall, it was poorly planned and poorly executed.
Bellarke is progressing in the way that most well written romances do. Their relationship follows most romance arcs.
They have their first meeting. Then they slowly begin to learn about each other. They have heart to heart moments that build trust and a unique connection between the two of them that they don’t have with anyone else. In Bellarke’s case this is defining moment where they really see eye to eye is in “Day Trip” by the tree. They also clearly have an attraction to each other; shown most clearly in “Day Trip” (Bellamy getting flustered when teaching her to shoot) and in “Unity Day” (when Clarke is full out flirting).
Then there’s usually some kind of conflict that creates a barrier between the two of them (getting separated at the end of season 1). Then they find each other again and they have a few more heart to heart moments (the fire scene 2x05). Then they get separated again and at the end of season 2 they have their “first kiss” (the cheek kiss Clarke gives him before she leaves).
The worsening conflict would be the oncoming war between the grounders and the sky people. When Bellamy goes to rescue Clarke there is no way that that scene is not written with romance underneath the surface. He was willing to sacrifice his life for me her and she was will to give up all her agency in order for Roan to not kill him. And when he yells that they can’t lose Clarke it is written in the script that even he himself is surprised at the lengths he will go to save Clarke. That episode proves that the two of them have a immense love between them. They are willing to do anything for each other. Of course the whole fight/hand holding scene in “Hakeldama” is written with underlying romantic intentions too. The camera angles, the music, the lighting; they’re all a part of signaling to the audience that this scene, and this moment in their relationship is important. Something changes in their relationship in this moment.
And then when they unite again all of the talks they have are helping their relationship grow even more. They are growing closer as people and beginning to trust each other completely. That moment on the beach is a commitment to each other that they won’t leave each other and that they will always be there for each other. They become completely devoted to each other.
I believe that their “dark moment” was 3x15 when Bellamy’s life was threatened and Clarke had to be saved/end of 3x16 now everyone could die in the next 6 months, or who knows? They’re dark moment might still come in season 4 before the writers actually decide to go full on romance.
Here are some reasons why I also think Bellarke is the healthiest relationship that Clarke has. Feel free to disagree with any of these points. I’m always open to discussion. This is just MY personal take on the different aspects of Clarke’s relationships.
Triangular Theory of Love
The Triangular Theory of Love is a theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. In the context of interpersonal relationships, “the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component.
Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
Passion – Which encompasses drives connected to both limerence and sexual attraction.
Commitment – Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, plans made with that other.
Flarke:
Intimacy
Passion✓
Commitment
Flarke had a few talks but it was not enough to form a close bond.
C.lexa:
Intimacy
Passion✓
Commitment
The few talks they had were usually one sided and they only talked about L.exa. Clarke never really opened up to L.exa. L.exa’s commitment to Clarke ultimately failed after declaring the blockade on Skaikru. And Clarke was never fully committed to L.exa.
Bellarke:
Intimacy✓
Passion✓
Commitment✓
In addition to the Triangular Theory of Love, there are the 6 Components of a Healthy Relationship; Trust, Mutual Respect, Good Communication, Common Interests, Absence of Physical Violence, and Independence
*both people must have the trait to ✓ it off
Flarke:
Trust
Mutual Respect
Good Communication
Common Interests✓
Absence of Physical Violence✓
Independence
Finn was way too dependent on Clarke and couldn’t really function without her. Clarke never seemed to trust Finn completely. She always trusted Bellamy’s opinion over Finn’s.
C.lexa:
Trust
Mutual Respect
Good Communication
Common Interests✓
Absence of Physical Violence
Independence
L.exa made it so that Clarke had to depend on her completely. While Lexa never personally laid a hand on Clarke she did get Roan to kidnap her, and Clarke also held a knife to Lexas throat with the intentions of killing her. They respected each other as leaders, but not as individuals.
Bellarke:
Trust✓
Mutual Respect✓
Good Communication✓
Common Interests✓
Absence of Physical Violence✓
Independence✓
They trust each other with their lives. The respect the hell out of each other. They can communicate just with their eyes. Bellarke have a need for each other, but can still function independently.
Bellarke has been written as a romance since the beginning. All the framing, music, lighting choices can add to the proof of that. But the best thing about Bellarke is that their romance isn’t being written as a main part of the story. A well written romance doesn’t overwhelm the plot. A great romance enhances the story, and adds to who the characters are. And that’s exactly what Bellarke does. The writers are writing Bellarke’s romance so subtly that anyone who’s paying attention can see it, but everyone can still enjoy the rest of the plot. Bellarke just enhances Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship and adds to the depth of their characters. They help each other grow for the better. They help each other out of dark times. They are a team. They love each other completely despite their flaws. The writers have a plan. If they actually follow through with that plan is still up to them. But there’s always been a plan for Bellarke. And we just have to have some faith in the writers. There’s still hope for Bellarke. And hope is everything.
With a little help from @queenclarkegriffine, @head-and-heart and @blyedeeks. Thank you for your input :)
It was before the sun even rose she honestly didn’t understand why her guest chambers in the tower of Polis were being disturbed and she certainly didn’t like it. Rolling over in the covers the grounder groaned a little into the sheets, but when she heard the doors close again and someone sit on the edge of the bed she quickly peaked out from under them relaxing a little at the sight of Lexa. She pushed the sheets down a little after that, sitting up and rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand as she tried to wake herself up. “ I don’t um...” a small yawn escaped her lips and she quickly covered it up embarrassed, it was then that she noticed the book in Lexa’s hands, having started a few weeks earlier to Lexa she was a bit better at the whole reading gonaslang thing, but Lexa was pretty much at her level so... this was probably more for fun than it was for anything serious. Otherwise the other girl would have spoken by now. She shifted a little, moving out of the covers so she was sitting next to Lexa and reached over, grabbing the night stand and bringing it over so the candle light should give them enough light to read from the book, “ So... you wanna start right away or... ” she let her voice drag a little as she looked at the girl, “ Is there something you want to talk about ? ”
Well at least we didn't see Lexa die. So I guess she'll be alive in Clarke's mind due to the chip? I didn't watch the finale but I watched that 5 min video...
