you sigh and sit up slightly, raising an eyebrow at the head of dark hair between your legs. “i can’t understand you, it’s rude to talk with a mouthful- where are your manners?”
a pair of violet eyes meet yours over your stomach, teary and out of it. caleb slowly peels back away from your dripping pussy, drool gushing out of the corners of his mouth.
you tsk and gather the spit up gently. “aw, poor thing… don’t you like the new accessory i got you? you aren’t acting very appreciative.” you tease meanly, shoving the spit back into his mouth, your fingers rolling over the metal between his teeth.
caleb gags and his eyes roll back, hips
stuttering forward desperately. the bit you placed in between his teeth keeps his mouth open and stretches the skin, drool dribbling out of the corners of his mouth. he murmurs his thanks as well as he can given hia situation.
you hum and brush your fingers over his forehead, pushing back the hair that sticks there because of his sweat. “see how sweet you can be? you just need to be reminded of your place- bridled between my legs.”
caleb nods- in understanding or agreement you aren’t sure- and licks your moisture on his lips, savoring the taste, before surging forward and latching his lips around your clit and sucking.
the feeling was nice, sure, but it wasn’t the stimulant you were craving and caleb knew that. when you didn't react to his suckling, he huffed.
spreading your dripping folds with two fingers, more of his drool slipping down onto the sheets beneath him (half due to the bit and half due to arousal). he raised his eyes up slowly, pupils trialing over your belly, swirling at your chest, and finally landing on the pair of eyes staring back at him expectantly.
“so shy- mmh!”
caleb shuts your teasing up by surging forward, messily eating you out as best he could with the bit in the way. the metal pressed and slid against your wetness, the pressure causing your hips to stutter forward against caleb’s tongue.
he hummed and gripped your inner thighs, thumbs spreading your outer lips apart. he angled his head to the side in an attempt to bury his face further into your pussy, but the bit held him back, like a dog with a stick in its mouth trying to get through a fence.
one of your hands tangled in his hair, not gripping but just resting there, letting him make his own desperate choices.
caleb whined in frustration from being unable to eat you out properly- what a failure he was! he glanced back up at you and shivered at the sharp gaze you were giving him. he could tell you were happy enough but losing interest rapidly.
newly invigorated, he moved his head upwards and kitten licked your clit to clean the sticky juices off of it. once it was clean he blew on it, cock throbbing uselessly in his pants as he watches your pretty little clit twitch in response.
your vision was unfocused, barely able to make caleb out as he finally was starting to bring you close to cumming.
caleb placed a messy kiss on your clit before rubbing the bit between his teeth against your clit. the cool metal against your sensitive, dry clit made you gasp and arch your back, fingers tightening in caleb’s hair. the friction and temperature made your lower spine tingle.
“hhmmmm! such a good- ah- boy you are- oh my god..” you try to praise him but lose grip on any functioning part of your brain, moaning embarrassingly loud instead. you swear the second the metal bit touched your clit it short circuited your brain, leaving you stupid and woozy.
caleb lets his drool coat the bit before guiding the metal in circles against your now puffy clit using his mouth, the lubrication helping it glide smoothly.
“oh- oh fuck, yes! god don’t stop-” you grip his hair and rock your hips against the bit, eyes rolling back as heat needles over your skin, cum splattering onto caleb’s face.
when the lusty haze caleb put you in finally clears, you see him raised up on his knees in front of you. the bit was now out of his mouth and dangling from his pointer finger, drool dripping off of it lewdly.
he smirked and tilted his head slightly, all signs of his previous submission long gone. “your turn.”
a/n: this is bunsss i haven't written caleb in 49 days soo not too much on me plz😹i forgot who he is icl
this is the bit i was imagining btw. its actually meant for horses and i couldnt find anything similarly shapes for humans :/ but just imagine it is for humans LMAO but the long bit was in his mouth and im imagining the circles were like by his ears and were held on his head by a harness you can tighten?? idk.
summary: ranting to your best friend caleb about your disastrous date leaves him shocked- you had to pay for your own dinner? gasp! the horror!
content: kinda fluff, no smut. feet? nothing crazy with the feet, just feet are mentioned LOL. ik people are weirded out by em.
wc: 1,669
a/n: this is lowkey just a palate cleanser LOL it has no real plot and no real point, i just know he would be baffled at this happening to YOU of all people
you stomped up three flights of stairs barefoot, huffing and puffing in annoyance as you approached your best friends apartment. it was late, almost midnight, but you just had to come rant to him about the nightmare date you just escaped from- and you really had escaped!
you slouched against the door frame and pounded on his door. “caaaaleeeb.”
after at least a minute and a half of you standing in the hallway, causing a ruckus, caleb finally opened the door. he had no shirt on, which was typical. why was it that guys with abs always walked around shirtless? his sweatpants were low on his hips, his happy trail peeking out of the top, pointing down into his pants at something that surely made many people happy as the name suggested.
his brown hair was pointing in all directions, he looked a bit.. damp? he was sweaty, and his chest was heaving slightly as if he was out of breath.
you snickered at him. “were you doing an at home workout in there? why are you so… wet?”
caleb swallowed hard and shook his head, shooting his arm out to cover the opening in his door when you tried to walk inside.
you blinked up at him in confusion. why was he acting so strange? you wondered if maybe he was hiding something.. or someone. “do you have a girl over or something? is this a bad time?”
caleb reared back slightly as if you slapped him. “what? no, of course not, i just- nothing. i was… showering. you can come in pips, i’m sorry. i wasn’t expecting company.”
you walked past him and wrinkled your nose when you smelled sweat- he absolutely was not showering, but you wouldn’t call him out on that lie. “ooookayy, mr. suspicious.”
you flopped down onto his comfy couch, yanking one of his fluffy blankets over yourself and sighing dramatically.
caleb sat on the opposite end of the couch, grabbing a pillow and strategically holding it in his lap. “what’s got you here at midnight on a tuesday?”
“oh, caleb, i am soo glad you asked!” you say, laying the back of your hand over your eyes in dramatic fashion. “i just escaped from the worst. date. ever.”
caleb clenched his teeth together, the idea of you out on a date with another guy settled like acid in his stomach. “what made it so horrible? the fact that i wasn’t there?”
you laugh sarcastically. “ha ha. where do i even start- oh! he didn’t pull out my chair for me.”
“the horror!” caleb mocks, clutching his chest, though you know he’s messing with you. Anytime the two of you got dinner, he always pulled your chair out, claiming it was the gentlemanly thing to do.
“i know! and he talked about himself the entire time- didn’t ask me a single question about myself, can you believe that?”
now that got more of a genuine reaction out of caleb. you saw his shoulders stiffen and his eyes slightly narrow. you were the most interesting person he knew, so it was baffling to him that you could go on a date with someone who had no interest in getting to know you. anytime the two of you hung out, caleb was asking you random questions just to get to know more about you- what your most recent favorite food was, if your favorite season had changed, when you were getting your nails done next.. anything.
“he didn’t ask you anything? nothing at all?”
“no- oh, well, he did ask me to pass him the salt.”
caleb shook his head and sat up on the couch, foot bouncing on the floor. “that doesn’t count, the salt has no correlation to who you are as a person. he didn’t learn anything about you by asking you to pass the salt.”
you shrug and sit up, holding out your hands. “okay, but get ready for the best part.” you stared at the man sitting across from you on the couch, he was watching you with both interest and worry.
“when the check came, he patted his pockets like this-” you demonstrate, making a scene of patting your pockets and throwing your head back with a groan. “then he said ‘ughh, i forgot my wallet at my place. you can pay though, right?’”
you stare at caleb with a big smile, knowing that he would be livid at this- which he absolutely was. you watched his eyes darken and his jaw clench, you could almost see the gears turning in his head, trying to make sense of this.
caleb was in shock. silent, contemplative shock. he’d spent the better part of his life taking care of you in all ways: emotionally, physically, and financially. the idea of someone- a man, no less, treating you like shit on a date and then expecting you to pay- it thoroughly pissed him off.
“he what?” caleb all but growled out
you nodded, flopping back against the pillows on his couch and lounging out with your cold feet pressed against the side of one of his legs. “yep.” you popped the ‘p’.
caleb shook his head and turned to you with a serious expression. “you didn’t pay though, did you?”
you just nodded.
“pips, are you kidding me? you went out on a date with a guy and you paid the bill in full? he didn’t even offer to split it?” caleb moved so his leg was on top of your feet, warming them up for you while one of his hands rested loosely on your ankles.
“i had to pay it, cay! the waitress was really nice- it was either pay it or walk out on the bill and you know i’d never do that.” you shrug, messing with your hair nervously. “$160 down the drain, but i’m working a lot next week so-”
“$160?!” caleb nearly shouted in shock. “pips, listen, you are worth all the money in every account i have, i promise you, but-” he stood up, placing a blanket over your feet and pacing back and forth in front of the couch.
“that’s just not right. what the hell did you guys even get? did you get the same amount of food?”
you list off the delicious dishes that had graced the table earlier. “he ordered a calamari appetizer- that was $18, he got ribs for around $65, i got pasta for $37, and then he got dessert for about $25. i tipped 20%, because obviously.”
calebs eye twitched as he did the math in his head, taking a steadying deep breath. “so he ordered $108 worth of food and you ordered $37 worth.”
he scoffed and walked over to his entry table, grabbing his wallet and muttering about how men these days were useless.
you chimed in. “they want to be the girlfriend these days. and nothings wrong with a guy getting spoiled, but let a girl know beforehand, y’know? i mean look at me-” you gesture at your outfit- a nice dress and strappy heels that lay abandoned on the floor. “he’s lucky i even bothered to put my card in my purse! it’s barely big enough for my lighter and my lipgloss, let alone my wallet.”
caleb dug through his wallet before picking up your tiny purse from the floor and stuffing two $100 bills into it.
“what’s that for?”
“you don’t use your own money on dinner dates unless you want to, pips. if this happens again, call me, i’ll send you the money to pay.” he ruffles your hair before sitting back down and tucking your feet under his legs again, though they’re much warmer now.
you raise an eyebrow. “why would you do that? it’s not your fault that guy didn’t pay.”
caleb tilts his head while he looks you over, chuckling when he sees that you’re truly confused. “caleb will always take care of you, you know that? i will until you realize i’m the only one who really can, and for the rest of our lives after that.”
your cheeks flush slightly, but you roll your eyes and brush his words off. he was just being dramatic, you were sure. you both had a bad habit of doing that.
when caleb saw your reaction, he knew that you weren't ready to accept that he’s what's best for you- that's alright, he doesn’t mind waiting. so, he changed the topic. “soooo, tell me about how you 'escaped’ this date. knowing you, i’m sure a grappling hook and lasers were unvolved.”
you smile wickedly and sit up, excited to tell caleb the story- the slightly dramatized version, of course.
“ugh, i forgot my lasers at home, so i had to improvise- i told him i was going to the bathroom after i paid. but instead i ran through the restaurants kitchen and burst out of the backdoor! my heel broke halfway to your apartment, so i took them off and ran barefoot through the streets. i think a rat ran over my toes at one point.”
caleb shook his head and laughed. “there’s the girl i know, always quick on your feet- figuratively and literally. no wonder your feet were so cold when you got here.”
—
over the next few months, caleb would conveniently take you out to dinner on your only free nights to ensure that you weren’t going on any more disastrous dates. he paid every check in full, never even letting you see the total.
after every dinner he’d warm your cold hands and feet while watching a movie in his apartment, which you always fell asleep halfway through.
he would gently card his fingers through your hair, watching your peaceful face as you slept, mumbling. “you’ll see one day, pips.”
because he was sure that you’d be wholly his one day in the near future- no more failed dates, no more escaping by running through the streets barefoot, and definitely no more paying for broke boys at dinner.
a/n pt2: definitely didn’t write this because i was reminiscing on how i used to pay for everything for my ex. DEFINITELY NOTTT!!!👀caleb come pick me up i’m scared. also halfway through i was thinking that this might've been better suited for sylus but oh well. this isn't my fav thing i've written by farrr but i figured i might as well post it regardless🤷♀️
summary: you and guitarist!caleb have a falling out over his band's new song, you two work it out in the most logical way: hot tub sex!
wc: 3,285
content: smut, dry humping, hot tub sex (duh), p in v, no condom, sex in a public(ish) area, use of the word whore (not in a sexy way), reader is lowkey avoidant attachment?? sorta? idk.
a/n: guys don’t do this irl, putting your cum in a public hot tub is….. eeeuuughhhh. this is only for fantasy purposes. FUCKKKKK I SHOULD’VE ADDED IMPROPER USE OF HOT TUB JETS!!!!!
AN: reposting this one today in honor of fucking caleb in the hot springs. it felt fitting.
you lean against the wall of a lukewarm hotel pool, taking in a deep breath and relaxing. the only noises came from bugs and water from the small decorative waterfall flowing into the pool. there were no paparazzi yelling your name, you couldn’t hear or see any of the hate you were getting online, and best of all- the new song caleb’s band released wasn’t playing.
thank goodness for that, that three minute long song has become the bane of your existence since its release.
the song was unfortunately very catchy but full of lyrics that seemed to be pointed at your band- specifically you. and the lyrics weren’t exactly saying you’re an angel.
it wasn’t uncommon for your band and caleb’s band to throw digs at each other in songs, it’s how your rivalry had grown over the years. but this song was especially nasty and crossed the lines that you thought were unspoken between both bands, but apparently didn’t exist for them.
you scoffed and ran your fingers over the top of the water, watching the ripples form. you’d been ignoring every text caleb has sent you since the song released three days ago. they ranged from ‘what’d i do to deserve the silent treatment? :(‘ to ’i just saw the posts online, i swear that the song isn’t about you. please believe me.’ to ‘c’mon, talk to me, let me explain. please?’. once he seemed to realize that you weren’t going to respond, his last text came earlier this morning and said ‘i’ll give you space, please call me when you’re ready. you don’t deserve any of the hate you’re getting. i wish i could delete their comments.’.
you’d almost responded to him multiple times but realized it wouldn't help anything. no matter what he said, it wouldn’t stop the hate you were getting online and no explanation from him would make it hurt any less.
what made it worse was caleb’s band and your band had performances in the same city this weekend, so you knew he was around. he was likely at this hotel, as it was the only hotel in the area with a high enough level of security for both bands.
his proximity made you feel suffocated- sure, you hadn’t seen him in person, but his presence was something you’d become attuned to.
after spending half an hour in the pool by yourself, you heard the gentle ‘click’ of the pool gate opening and shutting. you looked up, expecting to meet the eyes of a pool boy, but instead your eyes settled on caleb. a very shirtless caleb that was looking back at you.
shit. you could ignore his texts, but ignoring him in person? that was an entirely different challenge.
caleb set his towel and phone down on a pool chair and walked down the pool’s stairs, settling into the water on the opposite end of the pool.
at least he was respecting your space- he could have brute forced his way into a conversation, but he didn’t. you respected that about him.
instead of watching him, you looked around the edge of the pool, taking in the beautiful plants and trees that lined the area. they were tall, ensuring that no one could see in from outside, and they made it seem like you were in a tropical paradise, despite being in a landlocked area.
five minutes passed of silence in the pool, but you could feel caleb’s eyes burning a hole into your head. when you finally glanced over at the space he’d been at before, he was gone. scanning the pool, you saw that he’s slowly moved closer to your end of the pool. ohhhkay so maybe he wasn’t exactly respecting your space afterall.
you scoffed and rolled your eyes at him, standing up and pulling yourself out of the pool.
“wait- i’m sorry, please let me explain.” caleb says from the pool, voice worried.
you sigh and ignore him. instead of heading back to your room, you walk over to the hot tub and get in. there’s absolutely no way you would let caleb run you out of the pool area, not when you were there first. okay, well, maybe he did run you out of the pool… but you wouldn't be run out of the hot tub!
you close your eyes and sigh, relaxing into the hot water and feeling the jets against your skin. a minute later, you hear a quiet splash and crack open an eye, seeing caleb settling into the hot tub across from you.
you groan and glare at him. “for fucks sake, seriously caleb?”
caleb looks at you, his usual cocky expression replaced with a look of regret. “please talk to me, you’re killing me here.”
you roll your eyes and look up at the sun shade over the hot tub. great, you couldn’t even star gaze because the hot tub was covered. “why aren’t you out celebrating with your band over the success of your song?” you say, venom stitched into your words.
caleb sighs and sits up, one of his arms laying across the edge of the hot tub. you couldn’t see below his chest because of the excessive amount of foam from bubbles on the surface of the water. “i swear that song isn’t about you.”
you scoff. “don’t insult me by acting like i’m dumb enough to fall for that.”
“come on, you know how gideon is. he exaggerates in his lyrics- he had a bad interaction with some artist and wrote that song.” he shook his head, water droplets landing on your arm from his hair. “when we recorded the song, you didn’t cross my mind once because the lyrics are so unlike you. you’re none of the things the song says. baby, you know i would never let them write a single word about you that paints you negatively, even with the rivalry.”
you give him a look, not believing the last part. your bands were rivals for gods sake, you had to write petty things about each other.
“sure, caleb. if the lyrics are so ‘unlike me’ then why did the entire internet assume it was about me?” you ask, knowing the question was easily answered. because their fans have been at war with your fans for years, because they jump at anything they can to hate on you or your band just because they love caleb’s band.
you two fall into silence for a bit, the only noises coming from the speakers that play low, sensual music, and the hot tubs jets bubbling water up to the surface and covering it with thick foam.
the hot tub lights cycled through multiple colors and you watched as they lit up the foam around caleb, reflecting on his chest and painting him red, blue, and then green.
“like what you see?” caleb smirks at you, leaning back against his seat, spreading his legs under the water and brushing one against yours.
you swallow thickly and yank your eyes away from his glistening body, looking at the plants nearby. “shut up, i’m still pissed at you.”
he nods and watches you, keeping his leg against yours in an attempt to stay close to you. “aaare you pissed at me, at the song, or at the fans?”
your first instinct is to say ‘you’ but you bite it back and really consider the question. were you actually upset at him? you didn’t think you were. caleb’s explanation of the song made sense- you knew gideon and knew that the lyrics he wrote about your band normally weren’t as nasty as the lyrics in their most recent song. the more you thought about it, the more you started to believe that caleb was being honest about who the song was about.
plus, you and caleb might not often see eye to eye, but he’s never once lied to you. his eyes, meeting yours with such intensity, made it clear that he wasn’t lying now.
you let out a long sigh and shook your head. “i… think i’m pissed at your fans. and the internet.” you press your calf against his leg and watch him grin, happy that you’re willingly engaging with him. “i know that i have to have thick skin in this industry, and i thought i did until i started getting death threats and called awful things.”
caleb reached forward and put a hand on your knee, fingers brushing the skin. “you’re none of the things they’re calling you, you know that right?”
you nod. “i know, but it still doesn’t feel great waking up and seeing i’m being called a whore and other things for just existing.”
caleb nods for you to continue, watching you take a deep breath and laugh sadly. “but you want to know what hurt the most? somehow, it was thinking that you would do that to me- let your bandmates write such a hateful song about me, record it, and then release it.” you shook your head and watched the leaves of a nearby bush sway in the wind, unable to look at him. you’d never shown vulnerability around caleb before and making eye contact felt like entirely too much.
“i felt betrayed. obviously i know we aren’t a thing, but i thought we had… something? i don’t know. i just thought there was no way you’d ever let your fans attack me like that, and then you did.”
you pull your knees up to your chest, tracing your kneecap with the tip of your finger. “i don’t let many people in, so it was hard for me to accept that someone I did let in backstabbed me.”
caleb waited until your silence stretched for a minute, making sure you were done expressing your feelings before he spoke. his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it and he sounded slightly hurt. “i would never purposely hurt you, baby. i’m so sorry that’s what you thought.”
you take a deep breath. “yeah, i think i’m starting to get that.”
the two of you sat in peaceful silence, listening to the low music playing and watching each other from across the small space. the lights around the pool area dim as they’re scheduled to do once it turns midnight, making the red light of the hot tub color the surroundings in a deep crimson.
caleb's eyes roam down your face and land on your breasts, watching the foam from the bubbles slip down the crevice of your bikini top.
you look at his abs, licking your lips and imagining trailing your tongue over his chest. every time you’d slept with caleb, it’s been rushed or fueled by hate or anger in some way- for once you wanted to take things slow and actually explore with him.
caleb clears his throat and nods to your chest. “a tiny top you have there.”
you raise an eyebrow. “is that a complaint?”
“nope, it’s an appreciation. you miiiight want to rethink wearing it to a public pool, though, they’re staring at me.” he says, humor tinging his words.
you look down to see what he’s talking about, only to see that both of your nipples have slipped out from under your triangle bikini top and are pointed right at him like a compass.
you look around, making sure that no one is in the pool area, before standing up in front of him and reaching behind your back. “maaybe it’s a sign then?” you slowly pull the strings holding your bikini together, letting the knot come undone and your top fall into the water with a soft ‘splash’.
caleb swallows hard and stares at your foamy tits. “someone might see.” his voice is gravelly, like he’s holding himself back from something.
you shrug and gently lower yourself to straddle him, pressing your tits against his face, his lips parted and pressing against the valley between them. “the top of the hot tub is covered and the sides are shielded by plants. if anyone comes in, we’ll hear them before they can see us.”
caleb's hands move to your waist and upper back, pressing you closer and mouthing at the sides of your breasts while you rock your core against the growing hardness in his pants.
you hum and press his head further against you, his teeth nibbling at your skin gently as his hands guide you to move against his lap harder. “make me feel how sorry you are- mmh.. how much you care about me, yeah?”
caleb nods and presses his hips up to meet yours, his clothed dick rubbing against your pussy that’s barely covered by your tiny bottoms. he sucks one of your hardened nipples into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it, eyes looking up at yours with blown pupils.
you moan at the sight and pinch your other nipple, arching your back in pleasure. “yesss, fuck yes- gonna cum like this.”
“mmmhhmm.” caleb agrees and rests his face against your breast, still sucking and licking your nipple. he whines as you pull his hair, his hips bucking up into yours in response.
the low music mixes with your moans and caleb’s whines, the water sloshing back and forth from your movement on his lap.
“cay- fuck..!” you gasp into the hand he presses to your lips, muting your cries as you shake and cum over him.
he lets go of your nipple and pants onto it, the cold air that hits it causing you to shiver. caleb grips your hips and holds them on his lap, rutting up into you, helplessly chasing his own release. you feel his cock twitch against your clothed pussy, spurts of sticky cum painting the inside of his bathing suit.
you relax on his lap, taking deep breaths to try and calm your racing heart.
caleb pulls his face away from your chest and looks up at you, his purple eyes filled with desire. he pats your hip and you stand, shivering as the cold air hits your skin that’s now out of the hot water. caleb spins you around and presses a hand against your back gently, pressing your chest to the edge of the hot tub.
“get on your knees.” he murmurs in your ear, maneuvering one of your knees up onto the hot tub’s seating area.
you move to kneel and arch your back, which presses your bare breasts to the cold tile on the outside of the hot tub and pushes your barely clothed ass back against caleb's sensitive dick.
he groans and grinds against you once before pulling his bottoms down and pumping his cock with his fist.
you look over your shoulder and whine when you see that his dick is covered in his own thick cum, a creamy ring around the tip of it. “what would your fans think if they saw this, huh? me making you cum in your own pants?”
caleb chuckled and pressed his tip to your clit, making you gasp. “i don’t really care what they think right now. if i don’t care, theeen why should you?”
you hummed and gripped the edge of the hot tub, half lidded eyes trying to watch him from over your shoulder as he teases your entrance. “they’d think you’re- hah- pathetic.”
“mmh, and i am.” caleb mumbled, slowly feeding his cock into your dripping pussy, his cum spreading over your lower lips. “suuuch a pathetic, messy boy for you. but you like it.”
you nod and try to push back onto him, wanting more than what he was giving you. “i love it.” you tried to relish this moment. it was rare for caleb to be anything but cocky during sex, and for him to be acting like… this? you weren’t going to waste that opportunity.
caleb squeezed your hips and let his hands trail up to your waist, gripping it. “if you want more, ya just gotta ask me for it. no need to try and sneak more than i’m giving you.”
you swallowed hard and fought an eye roll- there was the caleb you knew. “please? i need more-”
caleb wasted no time in fulfilling your request, pressing his hips flush against yours immediately. the air was punched out of your lungs, followed by a long whine. “mmmhhhh- yess, thank you-”
caleb hummed and began pistoning in and out of you, his tip pressing against your cervix on every thrust, the remains of his cum sticking to it. “fuck.. so perfect, baby.”
you moan senselessly, your head dropping against the tiled edge of the hot tub, cheek pressed in the cold water that’s gathered there, blissfully listening to his dirty talk. “gonna write you a love song- mmh.. so that you never accuse me of writing a nasty song about you ever again, yeah?”
his hips slap against yours, the sound overpowering the music from the speakers nearby. one of his hands trail down to your lower stomach and he presses up on it, feeling his own cock inside. the pressure adds to the pleasure you’re feeling, making you cry out. “what should i write about, hm? your hair? your eyes?”
“fuck-!” you exclaim, drool dripping onto the tile below you.
caleb laughs and shakes his head. “mm, no sweetheart, i’m not gonna write about how i’m fucking your pretty little brains out-” he leans down over your back and whispers against the shell of your ear. “this is jusssst for us.”
you nod in agreement, blabbering on and begging him not to stop.
caleb moans in your ear and fucks into you harder, your hips pinned against the acrylic of the hot tub, which was likely going to give you bruises. “shhh, before someone hears us- what a scandal it would be if this came out.”
you clench around him and gasp, your orgasm building up. caleb circles a finger on your clit and stuffs two of his fingers into your mouth to quiet you as you cum, your scream stifled only slightly.
“theeere you go, perrfect- fuckk, you’re creaming my cock so well-” caleb groaned and his hips stuttered as he came right after you, ropes of his heavy cum pouring into your pussy.
the two of you stay still for a moment afterwards until you whimper and gag on his fingers, and caleb pulls them from your mouth. he washes his fingers off in the foamy water and gently pulls out of you.
your pussy clenches and unclenches as it pushes his cum out, some of the pearly white liquid sliding down your thighs and some of it dripping into the water. caleb groans and drags two fingers over your fluttering entrance, gathering a mixture of his and your cum and sucking it into his mouth. “fuck..” he moans around his fingers.
you sit back down in the hot tub, completely naked and relaxing, watching his blissed out expression. “soo, about that love song, huh?”
caleb laughs awkwardly and sits back down also, his ears red from both the water’s heat and his embarrassment from saying something like that during sex. “what about it?”
you shrug and look at him smugly. “one would think that in order to write a love song you’d have to love the person it’s about, riiight?”
caleb just gives you a look and sighs, looking away.
you laugh and splash him. “oooh your fans would be pissed! i can see the headlines now- ‘star guitarist caleb xia is in love with rival pop singer!’”
“mmhm. we’ll see who’s laughing once the song comes out.” caleb says softly, to which you roll your eyes.
pfft, there isn’t going to be a love song.
a/n pt2: i was lowkey feeling this when i reached a flow state yesterday while writing, but editing it…. idk, i think the smut pacing is off idk. go easy on me pls, i genuinely haven’t written anything/ posted in almost 2 weeks😭💔
guitar divider from @digilatte , pick divider from @redroud1 , red divider from @uzmacchiato
summary: red-flag/toxic!caleb has gone through life being too much for all of his previous partners, until he meets you... and you end up being crazier than him!
wc: 3,024
content: PLS READ THIS! caleb and reader are both VERY toxic and exhibit red flags. their behavior in this is exaggerated for the story and is not normal. f!reader, caleb punches someone(not reader), reader slaps someone(not caleb), talks of pregnancy, talks of creampies, love bombing, gaslighting, guilt tripping(from reader), jealousy, smut, p in v, handcuffing(ish), car accident, they are crazy. reader is crazier though tbh, caleb is where he wants to be. if i need to add anything pls lmk!
a/n: the pacing between events is wonky tbh, sorry! i was listening to red flag by kesha and immediately got inspired :D the fic isn't directly based on the song tho. caleb is exactly where he wants to be. this is a repost! originally posted 1/19/26
the crazy in me sees the crazy in you… and i think i need it
it wasn’t news to caleb that he was a walking red flag. he’d heard it from his exes, his talking stages, and even a few close friends. did he agree that he was a red flag? absolutely not! wanting to provide for and protect his lover was the greenest of flags! so what if he snuck an airtag in an ex’s purse? he was just making sure she wasn’t going anywhere dangerous! maybe he was a little passionate, but a red flag? the idea made him laugh.
he’d only been single for a week when he met you at a club. you’d been multitasking between cussing out a man double your size and dancing to the loud music. the man was getting agitated and must have said something that upset you, given that you threw your drink in his face and slapped him hard enough to leave a red mark on his cheek.
caleb had laughed at your ferocity until he realized the man looked like he might get violent, grabbing your arm. he’d stepped in, ever the gentleman of course, and punched the guy so hard that he not only had your martini on his face, but also blood from his now broken nose.
when caleb turned to make sure you were okay, he found you already staring up at him with a huge smile and a star struck expression. it was love at first sight for both of you.
you’d grabbed his hand and cooed over the bruises that were forming on his knuckles, gently rubbing your fingers over them. “wooow, you’re soo strong, you just saved me.”
caleb had smirked and tilted his head, taking you in now that he was close enough to make you out. you were beautiful, but your spirit was what stood out more than anything to him. you’d been going toe to toe with a man a minute prior, and now you were clearly flirting with him with no care in the world for the agitated man anymore.
“i like you.” caleb stated, expecting you to flinch away like everyone else does when a stranger claims feelings for them in a bar, but you didn’t.
instead, you shocked him by stepping closer and interlocking your fingers with his and whispering. “i like you too.”
you’d had sex the first night you met- multiple times- and you’d gotten into a relationship a week later. caleb was used to his partners thinking he was moving too fast, but you? you seemed to think he was moving too slow.
a week and a half after you met, you were mid bounce on his cock when you decided now was as good of a time as any to confess your true feelings.
you whine and grip caleb’s jaw between your palms, eyes crazed as they meet his. “ah- fuck, i love you- i’m so in love with you, caleb-”
caleb’s eyes widen for a second before he grips your hips and thrusts up into you. “you mean that? ah- fuck yes- i’m in love with you too, baby.”
his words drive out a long moan from you, slamming your body down on him harder, chasing release. “yes! yes, god i knew you were in love with me- i could just tell- you’re my soulmate!” you pull his face towards you and capture his lips in a messy, desperate kiss, which he gladly reciprocates.
finally, he thinks, someone who understands him!
“i wanna have your baaby, ‘leeb.” your whiny words make the blood drain from his face and his thrusts immediately stop. ooookay, maybe you guys weren’t on the same level after all…
caleb laughs awkwardly and stills your hips with his evol, looking at you seriously. “sorry, what?”
you tilt your head and blink innocently. “i want your babies- i want them all. won’t i look so beautiful pregnant with your babies?”
caleb pauses, his brain trying to troubleshoot and figure out what the fuck he’s supposed to say to that- he’s never been in a situation before where his partner has said something so outlandish that he doesn’t know how to out-crazy them.
“uh. okay, babe, wow.” he blows out a breath and runs a hand over his face. “i think that you would look absolutely stunning pregnant, but… maybe later?”
to his surprise, you dropped the matter and didn’t bring it up again. occasionally during sex you would blab about wanting him to stuff you full of his cum, and he would indulge you in the dirty talk, knowing that he always wore a condom, so the dirty talk didn’t hold any weight.
a month and a half into your relationship, you were both sick of the distance with you living in linkon and caleb in skyhaven. at some point you’d begun staying at caleb’s place every night, saying that you’d moved in and referring to his house as your house as well.
caleb didn’t find it odd at first. he was thrilled that you were so close to him at all times and he loved being able to provide for you.
it was only when his friend, gideon, was going to stay over for a few days did the truth come out.
caleb decided to have the conversation after multiple rounds of sex, hoping you’d be sated and happy enough that it wouldn't result in a fight.
you lay with your back to his chest in bed and caleb was trailing his fingers up your arm tracing patterns om your soft skin. “you know how i told you that gideon’s gonna visit?”
you hum in acknowledgment, eyes closed happily basking in his attention.
“welllll, gideon and i have talked before and he prefers it just being him and i here.”
you stiffen and your words come out too calm for caleb's liking. he knows it’s surely the calm before the storm. “so you’re kicking me out?”
he wraps an arm around you, hand palming at your breast, voice soft. “c’mon baby, it’s not like that. i only see gideon twice a year and he wants it to just be us. it’s only for a week- and i’m gonna miss you more than you know.”
you huff and pull your head away when his nose nuzzles your neck. sitting up, you look at him with your eyes narrowed slightly. “so you’re choosing him over-”
“don’t pull that on me.” caleb replied, his voice dropping slightly as he sat up as well, his face turning sterner than you’d ever seen it. “i love you more than i’ve ever loved anyone, but i’m not going to disrespect my friends' boundaries. we’ll facetime every night and text all day- surely you miss your apartment, right? you’ve not been there in weeks.”
your eye twitches. “i haven’t been to my apartment because I transferred the lease to a friend. i moved out and moved in here.”
caleb gawks at you, shocked. “you- what? you don’t have a house??”
you scoff and cross your arms. “i thought this was my house. you told me everything of yours is mine. i told you i was moving in.”
“i thought you were joking!” caleb says through a confused laugh.
“oh, so you don’t want me here, that’s what you’re saying.” you say, getting up and fumbling for your discarded clothes on the floor, pulling them on. “first it was getting me out of the house because of gideon, and now you don’t want to live with me- when were you planning on breaking up with me?! tomorrow?”
the only thought in caleb’s mind, watching you spiral and tear through his room for your clothes like a tornado was ‘what the fuck?’. how had a simple conversation turned into you thinking he was going to leave you?
“no- baby, listen.” he sighs and approaches you, wrapping you in a hug that you try to claw your way out of, fingers scratching at his arms. “you’re my life, i would never leave you. i didn’t know you moved out, but… that’s okay. i’m more than happy to provide for you, and that includes living situations. stay, please, i’ll talk to gideon. i’ll fix this.”
so, you stayed. caleb paid for you and your best friend to take a trip to your dream destination while gideon was at his house, and all was well in your world.
well, that was until your plane landed in skyhaven after the trip. you’d decided that a week had been too long without seeing caleb- you couldn’t wait until his shift at the fleet edned, you had to see him now.
you went straight from the airport to the fleet's headquarters, walking through the establishment, suitcase and all.
after arguing your way through security checkpoints and using caleb’s name, you eventually made it to the floor he works on. you heard his voice from the door and your steps quickened going around the corner, and that’s when you saw it- or rather saw her.
a woman talking to caleb. a woman smiling at caleb. and caleb talking back with a small smile on his face. rage bubbled up under your skin and you abandoned your suitcase by the entrance, calling out to caleb in a sickly sweet voice. “caleeeb!!”
his head whips in your direction when he hears your voice. he fought a smile and caught you easily when you threw yourself into him, hugging you tight. despite being incredibly happy to see you, he knew that this was drawing attention and he couldn’t have his coronel reputation ruined- if people knew he wasn’t really as strict and serious as he seemed, they might not take him seriously anymore.
he set you down on your feet and held your hand, looking back at the woman he’d been talking to before you came in. “report that information to the contact listed in your files immediately.”
the woman nods and walks off and caleb leads you down a hallway and into his office. once the door clicks shut he kisses you, hand angling your head back so he can taste you. “mmh, missed you so much.”
you kiss back and let him walk you towards his desk, only stumbling once on your blind mission. “missed you too.” you pull away and look up at him before pushing him down onto his desk chair. he smirks up at you, hands instantly kneading your hips when you straddle him, planting your ass firmly on his lap.
“why didn’t you tell me you landed?”
you hum and lean down, sucking hickeys into his neck while you roll against the growing bulge in his pants. “mmm, i did. you didn’t come to pick me up.”
caleb groans softly in pleasure as your lips continue their work on his neck. “i’m sorry baby, i got caught up with work. i thought i texted you that i wouldn’t be able to make it.”
you lick over the blossoming marks on the side of his neck and pull back so he can see your pout. “oh, you were just too busy laughing and flirting with that woman that you couldn't pick up your girlfriend, weren’t you?”
caleb tilts his head slightly, confusion twinkling in his eyes. “what woman?”
your eye twitches and your fists grip his uniform. “that was the wrong answer, caleb. the only acceptable answer was ‘i wasn’t laughing or flirting with any woman.’”
he smirks at you again, enjoying your jealousy. “okayyy, then i wasn’t laughing or flirting with any woman.”
“liar.” you growl out, tangling a hand in the gold chains that decorate his uniform jacket. “i saw you talking to her. i saw you smiling at her, caleb, why would you lie to me?”
“i’m not lying, baby. i was talking to her, yes, but it was about work. i’m at work, i’m working.” he answers cooly, not at all put off by your sudden possessive behavior and not surprised that the exact answer you fed him was still somehow wrong.
you hum and pull the chains, pulling caleb up towards you. “ah, i see. so you think i’m stupid.”
caleb laughs lowly and shakes his head, fingers caressing the side of your face gently. “i don’t think you’re stupid, no. i don’t like seeing you talk to other guys either, but surely you understand that it’s necessary for our jobs?”
you shake your head and watch him, trying to figure out if he truly believes this or if he’s just trying to get you worked up. “no. it’s not. i don’t want you to talk to anyone else- you’re mine, caleb. if i’m not allowed to talk to other men, you’re not allowed to talk to other women.”
he scoffs and drops his hand, his expression shifting from carefree to frustrated. “my love, that’s not realistic-”
before he can finish his sentence, you give a firm tug on the gold chains again and they rip off of his uniform, dangling in your hand. “hmph. fine. this is for your own good colonel.” you say, venom lacing your words as you wrap the chain around his wrists, securing them tightly together.
despite multiple coworkers knocking on caleb’s office door over the next two hours, he never answers because he’s too busy being your personal dildo. you rode him back to back for as long as your pussy could handle it, teasing him about how he could look but not touch with his hands tied up. you’d used your evol to make the chains tangle together in a way that made them unable to be easily undone, leaving caleb essentially handcuffed. he could have easily stood up or used his evol to lift you off of him, but he didn’t. he liked that you were claiming him so boldly, so he let you have your fun and let you believe that he was learning a lesson.
six months into your relationship you’d gotten engaged, and as a gift caleb bought you a brand new car- it was your dream car down to the make, model, and even the seat colors. the only problem? he’d gotten you a gray car. you wanted a red car. who else had caleb gotten a gray car for in the past? his ex girlfriend.
you were absolutely livid! you’d tried to talk caleb into exchanging the car for a red one, or even buying you a whole new car, but he refused- how could he refuse his fiancée?!
when caleb got a call from a paramedic that you’d been in a bad car accident, he left the fleet and rushed to your location immediately, terrified of the worst. he’d broken every speed limit and road law to get to you, his heart hammering in his chest. he hated things that were out of his control, it’s partially why he insists on tracking you and having access to your phone- it’s for your safety! dammit, he knew that he should have hired a personal driver for you.
once he arrives at the accident, he rushes to the ambulance that you sit on the ledge of, passing by the upside down and absolutely totaled gray car he bought you days prior.
you sat in the ambulance, ignoring the paramedic that was trying to check you for a concussion. by some miracle you looked physically fine, just annoyed. he reaches you and cradles your head gently. “baby- holy shit, are you okay? what happened??”
you look at caleb and burst into a huge smile. “caleb, you came!”
“yeah, yeah, of course i came, i was worried sick about you. what happened?” he looks back at the car briefly, feeling a surge of anger at the thought of someone else causing the accident. “did someone hit you?”
you shake your head and wince slightly- you probably DID have a concussion, judging by the dizziness. “i crashed.”
“i can see that- how did you crash?”
you shrug and answer calmly. “i tried to drift and i crashed.”
he looks appalled and shakes his head. “why would you try to drift on the highway? this is a straight section of road, were you trying to crash the car?” he asks sarcastically.
as if he answered a trivia question right, you beam and nod excessively. “yes! i was!”
caleb pauses and his face constructs into disbelief, his voice low and bordering on pissed. “...why the hell would you try to intentionally crash?” he didn't understand why you would try to wreck on purpose, let alone in a brand new car he bought for you not even 72 hours prior.
you just shrug, seemingly not seeing anything wrong with your choice of actions. “i told you i wanted a red car.”
caleb stands there in silence, trying to contain his anger and failing. his eye twitches and he takes a step away from you, clenching his fists. “so you decided to fucking wreck it?! you could have killed yourself!”
“yeah, i did! maybe next time you can get the color right and i won’t total it!” you spit back, stepping away from the ambulance and moving closer to him until your chests were almost touching.
caleb sees the crazed look in your eyes and he pauses. he blinks rapidly in shock that you’d… out crazy’d him. he lets out a sound that’s half scoff and half laugh and shakes his head, the corner of one his lips turning up just barely. “your exes were right... you’re fuckin insane.”
you smile and look up at him, your pupils blown wide. “isnt that why you like me?”
“yeah, i think so.” he leans down and kisses you hard, the kind of the kiss that always leads to a day long sex marathon between you two.
you’re interrupted by the paramedic clearing his throat. “sorry, but i’m going to need the kissing to… uh, stop. she’s still not clear of a concussion, so we need to take her to the hospital-”
you and caleb both turn to glare at the man, your words echoing each other. “shut the fuck up.”
three days later you were fucking in your brand new dream red car.
redflag!caleb and redflag!reader are off the market!! (thank god...) part two
summary: toxic!caleb and toxic!reader are finally getting married!! who has the patience to plan a wedding when there's a perfectly fine courthouse in chansia city? (for context of this fic chansia city is the LADS equivalent of Vegas for us :3 )
content: toxic behavior- none of this is normal!! mention of reader attacking someone, broken noses, blood, police, caleb and reader go to jail, courthouse wedding, gideon slander by reader ( :( ), reader asks caleb if he's trying to khs (hes not), name calling, use of whore and bitch (towards caleb), smut, piv, sex on a pew in a courthouse, slight choking on an object, cheating accusations. lowkey heavily ooc caleb. he is mean in the smut part. he is crazy throughout. pls lmk if theres more i need to add! (i kinda lost count...)
wc: 2,345
a/n: YAYYY!!! when i first uploaded part one, someone sent me either a comment or an ask saying that these two pyscho's would absolutely have a vegas wedding, and i've been thinking about it ever since!! if that was you, thank you. i can't find the ask/comment. PLSS IF IT WAS YOU, SAY SOMETHING!!!!!
part one here!
three months into your relationship, caleb proposed to you. where? in bed. when? at exactly 3:47 am after you’d been fucking since 10:23 pm. what did you say? well, yes of course!
three hours later you sat beside caleb in the back of a cop car.
how did you get here? simple! your neighbor got tired of the constant banging of your headboard on the wall, so he called the cops.
neither you or caleb reacted well to the cops banging on your door mid sex- soooo, they’d detained you both and were taking you to jail for disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and assaulting an officer.
caleb didn’t get the last charge, just you. when the officers tackled caleb to the ground, you’d acted before thinking, attacking them in an attempt to free your lover.
…that hadn’t gone over well.
“your nose is all bloody-” caleb murmurs while looking you over in the dark backseat. he turns to the clear divider seperating the cop driving from the two of you. “hey! my wife’s bleedin’ back here, what the hell did you guys do to her?”
the cop, fed up with your antics, answers dully. “she did it to herself. thrashed around on the pavement after breaking my coworkers nose. nose for a nose, i guess.”
caleb scoffed and kicked at the divider. “you shouldn’t be joking like that, that’s disrespectful. i wanna talk to your seargent.”
the cop sighs. “i am the seargent.”
“oh.” caleb replies dumbly.
you sit up and glare. “then let us talk to your superintendent!”
“yeah! the superintendent- god, you’re so smart baby.” caleb coos at you, slipping out of his seatbelt and onto your lap. “awe your poor nose… lemme make it better.”
“get back in your seat, now.” the cop warns sternly from the front seat.
you giggle and smile at caleb. “make it better for me, leb.”
he licked the blood off of your nose and groaned, grinding against you. “they can’t stop us.. can’t stop us from being in love.”
you tried to buck up against him, but failed because of his weight and the seatbelt securing you. “s’ good baby- mmh, fuck me in the cop car.”
“do not fuck in the cop car unless you want a public indecency charge.” the cop said around a sigh. “i need a new job.”
hours later, you were lucky enough to be bailed out of jail by caleb’s friend gideon- the same one you absolutely despised.
him and caleb were already talking outside by his car when you were released. you ran to caleb and jumped into his arms dramatically.
“babyyy!! i haven’t seen you in so long, god i missed you so much! they didn’t hurt you in there, fid they?”
caleb spun you around and preppered kisses all over your face. “no, no of course not. i am never letting you out of my sight for that long ever again- i’ll kill them for separating us.” he put you down on your feet and looked you over for any injuries.
gideon watched the two of you with his eyebrow raised. the second you turned to him with a sharp glare, he straightened and his face paled.
“what are you looking at?” you snap, venom in your voice.
“uh- nothing, just.. i didn’t realized you guys would miss each other so much.”
your eye twitched and you stepped towards gideon, shovingn a finger against his chest. calebs hand circled your wrist wnd tried yo pull you back towards him. “and what does that mean? you think i wouldn’t moss my fiance, huh?? you’re trying to tear us apart!!”
gideon blinked once, twice, before locking eyes with caleb behind you. “i… was just surprised to see such a tearful reunion after being apart for only three hours.”
caleb huffs and pulls you to him, hugging you and nuzzling your nose with his own. “three hours feels like an eternity when it comes to you.”
gideon sighs and shakes his head, getting into his car and mumbling about how you’re both psychos.
caleb piles into the backseat with you, leaving the front passenger seat alone because… well, he couldn’t leave you to sit alone, now could he?
after 5 minutes of gideon driving towards you and caleb’s apartment, you speak up.
“caleeeeb?”
“mmm?” he replied, fingertips kneading the skin of your thigh.
you look up at him, smiling. “lets get married.”
caleb chuckles and taps the large rock on your hand. “that’s what this entails, doesn’t it?”
“i mean right now.” you climb onto his lap- no seatbelt on, obviously- and cradle his face. “lets go to chansia city (the vegas of LADS). we can get married in the courthouse- please, caleb, i need to be your wife now.” you all but whine.
caleb seems to think it over for a few seconds. “chansia city..” he mumbles. “alright. gideon, take us to chansia city!”
gideon sputters at his friend’s audacity. “do you think i’m your taxi driver or something?!”
“gideeeoooon!!” you snarl at him from the backseat, turning to pierce him with your stare.
gideon sighs and hits his head against his headrest before popping a U-turn. “how do i keep getting myself into these situations??”
two hours later you and caleb were sitting in an empty courtroom, giggling to each other in glee.
luckily, there weren’t many spur of the moment weddings happening, so you and caleb were at the top of the list. the officiant was out to lunch, so you were waiting for him to return.
apparently your pda (sitting in calebs lap, french kissing) was too much for everyone else in the lobby, so they stuck you in an empty court room.
you giggled on calebs lap, playing with his jacket. “i’m so excited to be your wife.”
caleb smiled and brushed your hair back, admiring your features. “i’m even more excited to be your husband.”
you sigh dreamily. “husband and wife.. wife and husband. what more can you ask for?” a greedy smile spreads across your face. “exceeeeptt.. a honeymoon?”
“of course we’ll have a honey moon. i’ll fly you where ever you want to go. whitesand bay maybe? it’s pretty this time of year.”
you hum. “as long as i have you and a bed, i’ll be happy.”
caleb laughs. “ooh riight, we’ll have to consummate the marriage won’t we?”
“mmhmmm.. maybe we should consummate the end of us dating, before we get married.” you think out loud, nails trailing up his neck and stopping on his pulse point, feeling it skitter.
caleb was easy. far too easy. within a minute he had you naked and stuffed full of him.
your knees were on the wooden seat of the front row of pews, your bare torso pressed to the backrest. the wood dug into your ribs and pain blossomed every thrust, but the pleasure between your thighs distracted you easily.
“yes- agh, fuck-!” you whined out, hands gripping the worn and splintering wood.
caleb’s hand pressed between your shoulder blades to keep you against the backrest of the pews. his hips bucked up into yours quickly, skin slapping skin echoing through the large, empty room.
“so good.. fuck, i can’t wait to marry you.”
you hum in agreement. looking up, you can see movement outside the room through the frosted window in the double doors. “ah, there’s people outside.” you say it not really as a warning, you could care less getting caught, but as a statement.
caleb’s movements stutter before stopping abruptly. “you’re looking at someone else? who, was it a guy?” his voice was low and calculated, not in the same happy, carefree cadence as earlier.
you scoff and turn to look at him over your shoulder. “of course not, if anything they were looking at me- agh!”
caleb hoisted you up and spun the two of you around so he was now sitting on the pew with you in reverse cowgirl.
one arm wrapped possessively around your waist and the other pressed in the valley between your breasts, forcing your back against his chest.
he nipped at your ear. “there, now no one can see you.”
you huff in slight annoyance, but roll your hips regardless, desperate to feel him deeper in you.
“see that- go ahead and ride me, yeahh, like that- see the platform?” he nods at the slightly raised platform in front of you. “that’s where i’m gonna marry you in, ahh..” he looks at a clock on the wall “siiix minutes or so, maybe seven.”
you bite your lip and lift up and down, plapping yourself down onto his cock. “uhh huh..”
he licked the shell of your ear slowly. “better hurry before they catch us and send us back to jail. don’t think gideon’ll bail us out a second time.”
you groan and roll your eyes, picking up your pace and fervor. “don’t fucking talk about gideon when we’re havin-”
caleb interrupts with the same complaint, pinching your nipple. “don’t say another man's name when my dick is inside of you.”
“you brought him up first, asshole.” you slam down on him hard in an attempt to make his lap hurt, but unfortunately, caleb was a sucker for pain
he moaned and moved to grip your hips, raising you and dropping you faster. “and you’re the one that continued talking about him- how would you feel if i talked about tara while you milk my cock?"
you gasp and dig your nails into his arms. “you piece of shit, don’t fucking start- mmmmhhh!”
caleb laughs and moves the two of you to the floor, pressing you to the linoleum and drilling into you. “aww, you try to talk a big game but you’re gettin’ off on arguing with me, aren’t you?”
“no!” you try to say with conviction, but it just comes out as an undignified moan.
“it’s okaaay, you just wanna start pretty fights so i’ll put you in your place, huh? fuckin’ brat- mmh, go on then, cum.”
you clench around him at his words, holding back your orgasm. the cold floor pressed against your cheek as your drool pooled onto it. “n-not gonna cum, you’re a bitch! i hate your fucking- agh- guts!”
“yeah, yeah.” caleb dismisses your words, fucking you harder onto the floor.
“never wanna see your stupid face again!!” you sob, fingers gripping the foot of the pew.
he reached forward and rolled your clit between his fingers before sliding them down your soaked slit and stuffing them in beside his cock, crooking them juust right. “you’re about to be married to this stupid face, baby, no use in cryin’ about it.”
no more than twelve minutes after caleb had you sobbing on his cock, the two of you were officially husband and wife.
five hours later, you were on a flight to your honeymoon!
…10 hours into your honeymoon, however, disaster in the form of another woman struck.
all she did was brush against caleb’s arm on her way to the bathroom, and you blew a gasket.
caleb followed you as you stormed through the busy street, screaming your head off.
“you’re fucking cheating on me- i knew you were a whore!”
“i didn’t cheat, babe, i didn’t even do anything-” caleb tries to reason with you. he should've known that was useless, it hadn’t worked in the history of your relationship and it hadn’t worked for the whole 20 minutes you’ve been crashing.
you turn to face him and glare. “i should've known you would make a fool out of me, caleb xia, i should've never married you! you wanna leave me, is that right?”
“no-”
“you want a new girlfriend? a new fiance? a new wife? am i not good enough for you?” you pace, flailing your arms wildly as you yell. “i’ve given you everything and you want to replace me, just like that?! right after i take your last name?!”
caleb watches you go on and on, ignoring the laughs from bystanders that your scene is generating. you’re not listening to him and he’s sure you’re so worked up that you couldn't hear him even if you wanted to you didn't.
he knew desperate times called for desperate measures.
caleb took his wedding ring off of his finger and showed you it.
that halted you in your tracks, before inspiring a brand new wave of rage. “oh, so now you’re gonna throw your ring away?! oh my god caleb!!”
caleb put the ring in his mouth and swallowed it. he chokes a bit, yeah, but miraculously… he was fine after a few seconds.
you stare at him in silence. he stares back at you in silence. the people on the street stare at the two of you in silence, someone having 911 on standby. a nurse somewhere is prepared to give the heimleich maneuver. someone is recording the bizzare exchange, ready to go viral on social media.
“what the hell did you do that for? are you trying to kill yourself, is that how desperate you are to get away from me?!” you shriek.
he takes your hands and nuzzles against them. “now you’re closer to my heart.”
you raise an eyebrow, unamused. “say what?”
“the ring, it’s a symbol of our love and marriage. now it’s inside of me forever, close to my heart.”
“yeah, until you shit it out-”
“i won't. it will stay there, right by my heart.”
…somehow, this worked on you. caleb was back in your good graces!
at least for 15 minutes.
“you just did that so women can’t see your ring!! you’re trying to cheat on me, you fucking asshole!” you yell at him in the emergency room while he gets assessed by a physician.
caleb did, infact, end up shitting the ring out after multiple rounds of laxatives.
summary: you’re secretly hooking up with the hot rock guitarist from your rival band! at an award show, caleb drags you into his dressing room for a quickie after seeing you perform on stage. he ruins your makeup AND your outfit before sending you out to accept an award!(sorta)
content: fem!reader, bands, praising, but also calebs kind of mean but just a lil bit, not too bad. teasing, p in v, mirror sex
wc: 2,513
a/n: i love band au’s!!!! i love band au’s!! wearing a ‘i kissed the guitarist!’ shirt rn (i am not. but if i had one, i would be wearing it!) caleb sexy eye makeup and wolf cut. thats all.
this is a repost.
you know what they say about guitarists and their fingers...
you stared out into the crowd at the biggest award show in linkon, smiling and waving as you leave the stage with the rest of your band. as soon as you’re backstage you breathe heavily, chugging water from a bottle someone hands you, walking down a hallway towards your dressing room.
the performance your band put on had been nearly flawless, which was good considering you were up for multiple awards.
you were in a pop band with three other girls who you considered your absolute best friends in the world.
you’d risen together from nothing to something, selling out shows everywhere you went and winning awards consistently. the only issue you faced was the band you’d been pitted against since the beginning- calebs band.
your stomach flipped just thinking about him. he’d looked so hot earlier in the night when his band performed their set at the award show. if you thought there was a way you could sneak away to see him, you absolutely would, but with so many high profile people around and so many cameras watching, you knew it was a terrible idea.
you hurried into your groups dressing room, taking dangly accessories out of your hair and admiring yourself in the mirror. for the performance you wore a sequined set. the top was tight with a v neck and a halter top, the back laced up and showing skin between the laces. the mini skirt was also sequined with four layers, the fabric barely covering your ass. your bandmates chatted about the awards happening soon, complaining that you were once again up against calebs band.
“i mean, they’re so smug, acting like they’re going to win everything. news flash- just because you’re all hot doesn’t mean you’re going to beat us.” the drummer of your band rambled on as she fixed her mascara.
your stomach flipped again at the thought of him. was he smug? absolutely. did it piss you off? not nearly as much as you pretended it did.
“i know right? they’re soo cocky, it’s ridiculous.” you laugh, but the words feel like acid on your tongue and your laugh sounds too high pitched.
shit talking your rival band should be second nature, something that comes as naturally as breathing, but ever since you started hooking up with said bands guitarist, things got complicated for you.
so, you settled for the best game plan you could think of: fake it till you make it. you’d pretend to be annoyed by their band, roll your eyes and chime in here in there when your bandmates shit talked them, but behind closed doors.. you weren’t exactly using your mouth to shit talk when you were with caleb xia.
you decided to head to the bathroom to get a minute of peace and quiet, as there was enough time between after your set and before you had to be changed and leaving the dressing room to prepare for the awards announcement.
walking down a hallway backstage, your platformed boots clicked on the tile and your sequined outfit rustled slightly as you walked. you heard a door click open beside you and suddenly you were yanked inside a room, the door shutting immediately.
“hey-” you started to protest, only to be interrupted by a very familiar pair of lips pressing against yours.
you hummed and melted into the kiss, fingers moving to grip calebs hair that was cut into a wolfcut, pulling it slightly.
caleb laughed slightly at your yanking, pulling away and looking down at you with a smirk. “fuck, you look hotter closer up than you did on stage.”
“mm, i could say the same about you.” you lick your kiss swollen lips and look him up and down.
caleb had the typical hot rock band aesthetic going on- dark baggy jeans, boots, a tight white tank top that was a little bit too tight, showing off his arm tattoos and his toned chest, with a few necklaces dangling from his neck.
his face though- god his face. he had messy black eyeshadow beneath and above his eyes, making his pretty purpley pink eyes pop.
his eyes raked over you the same way yours raked over him, both appreciatively and hungrily.
you huff and run a thumb under his eye, messing with the makeup. “this fucking eyeshadow.”
caleb snickers and runs his thumb over your lip, smudging you lipstick and gloss even more than it already was from the kiss. “it’s called guyliner, babe, don’t mess with a guys guyliner.”
“oh fuck off, you’re such a loser. you shouldn’t be allowed to be so hot, it’s false marketing.” you rolled your eyes and tried shoving him away. as you looked around the room caleb dragged you into, you realized that caleb had his own dressing room. tsk, how cliche. they put the girl groups in one medium sized dressing room together while the boy groups get smaller, but separate, dressing rooms. typical.
caleb grabs your waist and spins you, pressing you against a cutout in the wall that you assume is the closet, your hands raising to grip onto the metal bar above you that’s meant to hold clothes and costumes.
“false marketing? you know what’s really false marketing?” calebs voice growled in your ear, his hands dragging up and down your body as you arch back into him. “how such a sweet, pretty popstar can have such a nasty mouth when she's alone with me.”
he pressed closer, his bulge pressing against the swell of your ass, moaning as he grinds against you slightly.
caleb curses quietly and pulls away to grip the plump skin of your ass. “this skirt hardly covers anything, you almost flashed the crowd at least five times.”
“so?”
“so? so everyone would’ve seen what we both know is only mine to see.” caleb pulled the end of your skirt up over your ass, toying with the nude thong you wore.
you bit your lip and looked at him over your shoulder. “i don’t have time for this, i have to go change-”
“nope, you have to wear this little outfit for the rest of your life. it’d be criminal to change into anything else- this is your look pips.”
he presses his bulge back against your bare ass, grinding against you while leaving wet and sloppy kisses on your neck. “don’t you feel what it’s doing to me?”
you hum and grip the bar tighter, your head tilting back and to the side so he has more room to kiss, his tongue licking a stripe up your neck to nibble on your ear makes you moan softly, foot lifting slightly off of the ground.
“i don’t.. mmmh.. cay, i really gotta go change. y’know, have to go accept the award that my band beat yours out of.” you say, voice breathy but teasing.
caleb pouts and pulls away from your neck, hands gently holding and rubbing your waist. “fineee, if you insist. buuut, you gotta let me fuck you in it first. just a quickie, i promise.”
if you and caleb had done anything, it’s mastered the art of quickies: in practice rooms before your respective teams had practice, in small bathrooms backstage, in coat closets, hotels, and most often, like today, in dressing rooms.
you nodded and hummed. “as long as it’s fast.”
caleb smirked and pressed a kiss to the skin between your shoulderblades. “with you looking like this, i don’t think i can make it anything but fast.”
he pulled away quickly, rifling through a bag to find a condom. you watched him pull himself out of his baggy jeans, thick cock practically pulsing with need. he spread his precum down his shaft when he put the condom on, the liquid taunting you.
you turned back to the wall as calebs hands gripped your hip and also guided his cock into your dripping pussy.
“theeere we go, fuck, so perfect for me always.” he starts to slowly rock into you, building up speed as he moves his free hand to splay against your torso. “how do you always get her dripping like this?”
you whine as he starts to fuck into you, the pleasure building within you quickly like he promised. “well when you go out on stage lookin’ like that and fingering your guitar, it’s hard not to get wet.”
caleb laughs raggedly, snapping his hips against yours harder. “oh yeah? saw you eye fucking me from the third row, you aren’t subtle at all pretty girl.”
the clothing rod that you had been holding onto began to make a terrible grinding noise, not meant to be pulled on for so long. caleb groaned and pulled out of you sharply, causing you to gasp at the sudden emptiness between your legs.
he pulls you over to the desk that serves as the getting ready area, pressing your hips against the edge of it and pushing your front down until your face is almost directly in front of the mirror, the round lights lining the mirror on and illuminating the scene.
caleb put a hand on your back to keep you pressed against the desk while the other held your waist, pressing back into you in one thrust and immediately picking his pace up again.
“aww, look at that, the worlds most beloved popstar getting fucked dumb by the worlds hottest guitarist.” he pulled your hair gently, lifting your head up and forcing you to stare at yourself through the glass.
you glared at him through the mirror, moaning the words out. “you’re not the hottest- ughh- guitarist.”
he huffed and took you harder, his hips pressing yours against the wood harder. “so then why are you letting me fuck you?”
you ignore his question, knowing that answering it would only incriminate you.
“that’s what i thought. i wanna see your tits.” caleb mumbled, messing with the halter top fastening on your top. he pulled it apart, breaking the clasp and letting the front of your top fall down, your tits bared to him.
“caleb! my top-” moans spilled out of you as his cock hit your g-spot with every stroke, and suddenly your top was the last thing on your mind.
caleb hummed and pulled your hair again. “shh or someone’ll hear us. you don’t want that, do you?”
you bit your lip and shook your head, swallowing your moans as best you could.
“very good, fuck, so good.” calebs praising only made things worse for you.
you really tried to be quiet, but there were far too many factors working against you for you to succeed. the angle that you were pressed against the desk had your clit rubbing against the surface deliciously everytime caleb thrust into you. he was fucking you like an animal, hitting every right spot and saying the right things, and everytime you looked in the mirror you were faced with him watching you. his lips parted and his tongue wetting them every so often, his eyebrows pulled together in pleasure, and his eye makeup- fuck, it was too much for you to handle.
your lip slipped out of your teeth's grip and you moaned loudly, the sounds spilling out of you were far out of your control.
caleb immediately stopped his movements, grumbling to himself about how you never learn. he dug in his back pocket before pulling out a guitar pick, placing the plastic piece between your upper and bottom teeth.
“you know the drill, bite on it. if you make any noise or drop it, i’m stopping and sending you back on stage with a wet, throbbing cunt, got it?”
you bite the pick, nodding at him through the mirror. you watch caleb nod back and start thrusting into you again, harder and faster than he had before.
with the pick between your teeth you were forced into silence, listening to the sound of skin slapping against skin, the slight creaking of the desk, and calebs loud breathing behind you as he tried to stay quiet himself.
he gripped your ass again, watching red marks blossom up briefly on your skin before moving to get a handful of your hair.
“so fuckin’ perfect for me, yeah? bet you’re gonna win tonight too, gonna beat us in every category.”
he moans softly, feeling you clench around him as he thrusts harder into your dripping pussy.
because you couldn’t moan, you were getting frustrated, tears slipping down your cheeks and ruining your makeup with mascara streaks.
“perfect in every way. perfect face- even if you just ruined your pretty makeup- perfect body, perfect attitude- perfect voice, too.”
you bite down on the pick harder when he reaches down to pinch and roll your clit between his fingers, a moan threatening to tear through your throat.
caleb smirks as he watches your eyes roll back in your head, your hips pressing towards him and your back arching as much as it can, desperate for more.
“mmmh yeah? i bet you’re gonna write a nice little song about me, aren’t you? gonna sing it for me?” he teases, knowing you write all your bands lyrics.
to his surprise, you nod, eyes fighting to right themselves in your head so you can find his gaze in the mirror.
unfortunately for you, you never find them. the idea of you writing about him makes caleb lose it, slamming into you over and over, the items on the desk shaking and toppling over.
you cum hard and clench around him even harder, the guitar pick falling from between your teeth and clattering to the desktop.
caleb clamps a hand tight over your mouth before you can cry out, fucking you through your orgasm and into his. he curses as he cums, hips stuttering slightly.
once the pleasure mostly fades, he pulls out of you slowly, getting rid of the condom and gently cleaning you up.
you pant as you rise up from the desk on shaky legs, pulling your skirt back down and trying to fix your halter top.
caleb fixes his pants and silently moves behind you to help fix what he broke, gulping when he realizes its broken broken. “uh. sorry, hang on-”
you hold the two straps behind your neck, biting your lip and glancing at the clock, hissing out. “caleb! we’re supposed to be out there in 10 minutes and i still have to change!”
“i know, i know, hang on. okay, i’m gonna safety pin it.” he appears behind you again, taking the ends from you and carefully securing them together with a safety pin.
once you’re ready to be sent back to your dressing room, he pats your ass gently. “good luck out there.”
–
15 minutes later your group is on stage accepting an award- one that you beat calebs group for. while smiling at the audience, your eyes find caleb sitting with his group, clapping politely. he smirked at you and winked, mouthing ‘victory sex later?’.
victory sex was, in fact, had later that night in his hotel room.
part two!
a/n pt2: can’t stop thinkinf about caleb with eye makeup and wolf cut. fuck my period has me soo freaked out rn. i found art of caleb with the exact eye makeup i was imagining for this if anyone wants the link to it lmk!!!! i’m not reposting here bc i feel like a lot of artists don’t like their stuff being reposted (i get it for sure).
guitar divider from @digilatte , pick divider from @redroud1 , red divider from @uzmacchiato
summary: death follows you closer than a stray dog follows a hot dog cart. your touch brings destruction to the people closest to you, but what happens when a certain someone (caleb) doesn't believe in your curse? is he the exception?
content: PLEASE READ!! ANGST, gore, death, blood, suicide (i've added a bar of red text before the suicidal thoughts/ actions start, the story can absolutely end before it!), suggestive content (no smut), talk of curses and gods, there is NO happy ending. i think there is probably more, please tell me if there is. if these subject unnerve you, skip this one!! <3
wc: 6,642
a/n: if there's any editing mistakes i'm sorry! i had a roughh time editing this. if you happen to see any words randomly in all caps, i missed it while editing and it's supposed to be in italics :) before you guys read this and get mad at me, i love youuuuu🫶🫂
impending doom: a medical symptom that consists of an intense feeling that something life-threatening or tragic is about to occur, despite no apparent danger.
everything you touch is doomed. at least, that’s what you’ve always been told- by the group of women dressed in black, their grip a little too tight on your wrists as they drag you away from the closed casket you’d tried to pry open. “how many times do you have to be told to stop touching things?” one lady hissed at you, her heels clicking on the bathroom tile as they drag you inside, biting your lip to hold back the sobs clawing up your throat.
another woman, maybe the first woman's sister if you were judging by their matching scolding tones, snaps her fingers in your face and points at you, manicured nail inches from your eyes. “the reason that your grandmother is in that casket is because you couldn’t listen and you just had to touch things. you will live with this for the rest of your life, you hear me?”
you stare up at the pair, nodding and trying to stop your body from shaking.
the first woman scoffs and digs in her purse, touching up her lipstick in the mirror and muttering just loud enough to make sure you hear her. “that child is cursed.”
the other woman hums in acknowledgment and you want to disagree. that isn’t true! you aren’t cursed at all! it was just an accident, you hadn’t known that your grandmother would try to go down the stairs while you were playing.
you’d stacked a line of blocks at the top of your home’s staircase, wanting to build it up tall so you could push it over and watch the blocks tumble down the stairs. after you lined up the first row your mother called you down for dinner, so you hopped over the blocks and ran down the stairs.
dinner was interrupted by the loud crash of your grandmother falling down the stairs over your blocks. the fall likely wouldn’t have been life threatening for a healthy adult, but for an elderly woman with fragile bones and health issues it was.
being the middle child, you’d never been the favorite by a long shot, but after that day your family hadn’t ever looked at you the same. they acted like you were contagious, like if they got too close or laughed too hard at you, you’d turn into a demon: like your eyes would turn black and you’d start draining the life from them.
the second time it happened, you were in middle school. your friend was supposed to spend the night at your house, but at 2 am she decided she wanted to sneak out. go to the gas station down the street and get some snacks, maybe splurge on a slushie. you knew your parents would be furious if you snuck out, so you tried to convince your friend to stay, but she was determined to go. she’d always been more adventurous than you.
reluctantly, you agreed to help her get out and back in your window. she had only brought slippers, and knowing it was cold out, you gave her a pair of your sneakers to borrow. they were a little bit big on her, her heels popping out of the back of the shoe at every step. you’d both laughed at it, giggling at how silly she looked tripping over herself.
to make matters worse, the laces were too long and dragging. you tied the shoes for her and stuffed the extra bits of laces into the shoe so she wouldn’t trip on them. with a brief hug, you watched her climb through your window and walk towards the gas station down the street. you could see the glowing sign from your window, it wasn’t a long walk, so you’d estimated she’d be back within fifteen minutes.
ten minutes pass and you hear a siren go by your house. no biggie, you lived near a hospital so sirens were a normal sound to hear at night. another minute passes, another siren. you perk up a bit, realizing that the sirens seem to be stopped not too far away. another minute passes and four more sirens pass your house.
curious, you look out your window to see where the blue and red lights were stopping at- near the gas station.
surely nothing happened to your friend, right? you texted and called her, anxiety prickling over your skin when the calls don’t connect.
you throw caution to the wind and hop out of your window, going to investigate. your parents couldn’t fault you for sneaking out, not if it was to make sure your friend was okay, right?
after a short three minute walk, you finally aproach the ambulances and police cars. paramedics are on the road, huddled around a form laying in front of a car.
it’s only when you step closer that you realize it’s your friend. your very mangled friend- limbs bent unnaturally, blood staining her hair that you’d braided earlier in the night. your shoes lay on the sidewalk tipped over, not on her feet.
a policeman is listening to the very shaken up driver as he fumbles over his words, shock evident on his face. “i-i didn’t even have time to stop, she just- she just tripped over nothing and fell into the road right in front of me-”
the shoes. she’d tripped because of your shoes. your friend was bleeding out on the pavement in the cold because you lent her your shoes- you should have tried so much harder to convince her to stay home.
the only place that rumors travel faster than light itself was a middle school. it only took a day for your peers to learn why your friend died, and it only took an hour after that for them to start outcasting you.
there were no apologies for losing your friend, there were no shoulders to lean on, and there certainly weren't any friends for you to talk to. who would want to be friends with the girl that got her other friend killed? no one was eager to become your next victim.
high school was no different. you’d help someone up after they fell and the next day they’d get sick. you would bump into someone on accident in the hallway and they’d fail their next test. the few friends you had left started to ditch you quickly, one after another, so fast that by week three of freshman year you were eating at a table alone every lunch.
your life continued like this all through highschool- you were ignored, avoided, and whispered about in the hallways until midway through your senior year.
you’d been eating alone at a corner table, poking at the food on your plate when someone sat a tray down opposite you. you looked up, expecting to be asked out as a joke again by some sports player, but instead saw an unfamiliar face looking at you- no, smiling at you. how long had it been since someone had smiled at you?
“hey, can i sit here?” the guy asked you, voice lacking any hint of mockery. his purple eyes looked at you, regarding you as if you were his equal and not someone that had death creeping over their shoulder.
you nod slowly, skeptical. “um.. sure. why would you want to sit with me?”
the guy tilts his head, biting into a sandwich. “why not? you looked lonely and i’m new here, i figured we could be lonely together.”
after that lunch you and the guy, caleb, were lonely together for the rest of the school year. word about your ‘curse’ eventually made its way to caleb, especially after he got popular, but he never spent less time with you and he definitely didn’t treat you differently. he was curious, but didn’t pry.
caleb ended up asking you to be his date to prom, and you accepted. you’d spent the night dancing and carefully tiptoeing around him. when he’d try to hold your hand to lead you through the crowd, you only shook your head and tucked your hands tight to your side. when he moved to rest his hands on your waist to slow dance with you, you’d jumped back and bumped into a couple dancing and making out behind you- they’d been less than pleased, the girl screaming about how she was probably in danger now that you’d touched her. embarrassment flooded your being and you fled, like you always did when something like this happened.
caleb found you sitting outside of the prom venue picking at the skin around your nails and hiding from… well, everyone, given that no one at school liked you. except for him.
“hey, figured i’d find you out here.” caleb says with a grin, sitting down beside you but leaving a gap between. not for him, god, if he had it his way he’d be glued to your side, but he knew you wanted the distance, so he respected that. “i got you some punch, no alcohol in it. i checked. at my old school, some students used to spike it.” he laughs quietly at the memory. “it was terrible.”
you smile at his story and take the cup of punch, avoiding his fingers. “thanks. i heard they spiked it last year. must’ve been the seniors that graduated already.”
caleb chuckled and leaned back against the wooden exterior of the event center. “yeah, the seniors this year are all bark and no bite. figures that they wouldn’t spike it.”
you sip the punch and think about his words. he was right, of course. for years now they’ve talked terribly about you, but they’ve never had the guts to do anything to you physically. maybe it’s because they’re too scared of what would happen if they did.
the music thumps from inside, the bass making the wall you’re leaned against rattle a bit. your classmates sing along to songs and some even squeal. it sounds like they’re having fun, and here you are outside in the humid air, just… sitting. and you’ve drug caleb into this too.
you look over at him sitting beside you, looking out at the scenery and your heart aches.
“go back inside, caleb.” you say quietly, the words painful to get out.
“why?” caleb asks, face turned to you now, questions filling his eyes.
you shrug. “you should be having fun like everyone else. i should have never agreed to be your date, not when you had a dozen other girls waiting for you to ask them.” you shake your head, your hair coming loose from where it was pinned earlier in the day, a sad attempt to make yourself fit in with the others. a failed attempt at normalcy. “your presence is wasted on me. just being associated with me is ruining your reputation, you should just… go, now, before it’s unsalvageable.”
caleb listened and digested your words, watching the tears well in your eyes before speaking. “i’m not leaving your side. everyone in there is fake and miserable, but you’re real.” he shakes his head and inches his hand closer to where yours rests on the rough sidewalk. “i’d rather have a ruined reputation with you than be the most popular person in school with those losers.” he cocks his head towards the venue, smirking playfully.
you huff and look away, trying to will him away with your mind. and you think, when he finally stands up, that your pleading to the universe finally worked.
“c’mon, up ya go.” caleb stands in front of you, extending a hand.
you roll your eyes and give a half hearted glare, standing up without his help. “where are we going?”
“nowhere. i just thought we should dance at least once tonight, y’know, to say we fully did prom?” caleb asks, a smile on his handsome face. it makes your heart ache.
yes, you want to say, yes, please dance with me. spin me around. make me forget what it feels like to be a liability. but you can’t- how could you when every time you’ve touched someone, something bad has happened to them? maybe he would come down with something as simple as a cold, but maybe he would come down with something much worse. no, you couldn’t risk it. couldn’t risk the one person who sees you as more than a threat.
caleb sighs and looks at you, sadness etched into his features. “i don’t believe what they say about you, y’know? none of it’s true anyway- that kind of stuff isn’t real. if you would just dance with me, you’d see that nothing bad will happen.”
you shake your head and worry your bottom lip between your teeth, arms wrapping around yourself protectively. he didn’t understand. caleb has always been so happy go lucky, going through life without looking where he’s stepping because he just assumes everything will go his way. because everything does always go his way. so… maybe he was right? after all, nothing bad ever happens to caleb. maybe you’d try to shut him down one more time…
“caleb, you don’t get it because you transferred to our school after everything happened- you didn’t see and hear what everyone else did. they’re not just making things up for fun, everything you’ve heard is true.” you try to explain, tears spilling down your cheeks. “something bad will happen.”
caleb takes a step closer to you, holding out his hand. “well if something bad happens to me, then you can say ‘i told you so’ allll you want, because i know nothin’s gonna happen to me. you could never hurt me.”
the challenge in his voice and the tingling of your skin aching for touch begged you to give in. let yourself have this one thing, let yourself have a good prom. you’d already messed up all the other monumental high school moments, so why couldn’t you at least have a good prom?
with a slow nod, you released your arms from around yourself and held them out for caleb to wrap around his neck.
caleb smiled and took a step forward, his fingertips ghosting against your wrists. the slight touch made panic rise in your throat, ripping your arms back to yourself. “no, stop- fuck, i’m sorry. i’m so scared.” you say, voice shaky.
he watches you like one might watch a scared deer, trying to calm you so you don’t flee. “it’s okay, yeah? i already touched you, and see?” he spins around so you can see all of him. “i’m perfectly fine- not a scratch on me.”
you look him over, searching for any hint of blood on his suit, or any scratches, but find nothing. caleb was right, he had touched you and he was fine.
“you’re alright.” you mumble to yourself, the words an attempt to convince yourself more than anything else.
caleb hums in agreement and steps closer to you again so that his breath fans across your forehead. “can i dance with you now?”
you flush slightly and nod, holding your arms out again and letting him gently guide them over his shoulders. his hands settle on your waist gently, moving you both back and forth in rhythm to the slow song playing faintly inside, the sound bleeding through the closed doors.
finally, a smile finds its way onto your face. you’re unable to fight it or dim it in the slightest- it’s there, bright and uncontrollable, and so is the rapid beating of your heart. you laugh in both surprise and overwhelming joy. you were touching someone- you were dancing with your crush and he was perfectly fine.
caleb laughed along with you, speaking to you quietly, teasing. “see? perfectly fine. nothing bad could ever happen to me when i’m with you.”
the two of you dance until the song changes, a song with a heavy bass replacing the slow song. you both laugh and seperate, though caleb reaches to intertwine your fingers together.
“lets go inside, yeah? you’re out of punch.” he says, guiding you to the side entrance to the event center.
as he reaches to open the door handle, the door slams open when a group of rowdy football players rammed into it in an attempt to… you didn’t know, maybe be destructive? their actions had never made much sense to you.
well, destructive they were. the door slammed right into caleb- your poor prom date got a metal door straight to the face and his nose was gushing blood.
you hadn’t helped him, too scared that touching him again would make things worse- like maybe a comically large piano would fall out of the sky and crush him just to mock you.
caleb ended up getting a concussion from the door and missed a week of school, which was plenty of time for the partial truth to spread through school. “she forced caleb to dance with her, and then he got a concussion.” “she’s still cursed.” “i knew it was only a matter of time before she drug caleb down with her.”. for all you wanted to disagree with them, you couldn’t. the only part that wasn’t true was you forcing caleb to dance with you- infact, you’d tried to convince him not to dance with you, but in the end it was your fault that you gave in.
god, how stupid were you to think that you could have something, even as small as a dance, for yourself? you should have known by now that nothing was destined for you. not a kiss goodnight, not a warm hug after a long day, and especially not a slow dance at prom.
you didn’t talk to caleb for weeks after, though caleb certainly tried talking to you. you’d started eating lunch in the bathroom to avoid him, taking different routes to your classes, and swapping seats with someone in the one class you had together, ensuring that he wasn’t close enough to talk to you.
caleb didn’t seem to take the hint, though. he didn’t grasp the severity of the situation. the exact thing happened to him that he said wouldn’t: you touched him and he got hurt. it was as simple as that. it was black and white, despite how hard he was trying to make you see the grey area.
unluckily for you, after graduation, you and caleb got accepted into the same college.
a fresh start- no one there knew you. they didn’t know about the baggage your name held or the death etched into the cells of your skin.
after only a month into college, you and caleb managed to find your way back to each other. caleb called it fate, you called a tragedy.
over the next four years, you grew closer than you had throughout high school. you spent days together at a time, lounging in caleb’s apartment and studying, or eating cheap ramen on the floor of your dorm.
neither of you got into relationships, too busy with classes to worry about romance. or at least that’s what you told yourself, but the same sense of endearment and yearning burned in caleb’s chest the same way it did yours.
the first time caleb asked you out, it was a week before valentine’s day. you’d thought he was joking, like it was one of those situations where friends hang out on the holiday just because they have no special person to spend it with, but he’d been serious.
“do you have any plans on saturday?” he asked, watching you jot down some notes from class.
you shrugged, quickly flipping through your mental calendar. “nope, i just have to do some cleaning, why?”
caleb hummed and tossed his pen up in the air and catching it. a nervous habit he had. you’d picked up on it immediately, suspicious about what his next words would be. “wanna go to your favorite restaurant that night?”
you snickered and leaned back in your chair, stretching out your tight lower back. “that’s valentine’s day, it’s probably all booked.”
“it is. and yet, i have a reservation, soooo wanna go?”
your eyebrows wrinkle in confusion. he had a reservation already? why? did he ask someone else and they declined?
you set your pen down and look at him suspiciously. “am i your second choice for this?”
caleb shakes his head and you catch a glimpse of what looks to be offense in his gaze. “ouch, i’m wounded that you’d think that of me. you’ve always been my first choice.”
warmth spreads across your cheeks and you try to will it away. you could handle the thoughts of loving him when they were tucked away in your mind and he had no idea they existed, but you couldn't handle your feelings physically manifesting where caleb could see.
you decide to answer, hoping that would distract him from the obvious blush on your face. “um, yeah sure, i’ll go with you. no sense in wasting a reservation, right?”
the dinner goes well. too well, in fact. you’d just gotten a passing grade back on an important exam, so caleb decided it was cause to celebrate. you’d gotten a bit too tipsy from the wine he ordered, something dry and almost bitter, but addicting nonetheless.
your favorite restaurant had gone fancy for valentines day: a pillar candle was lit in the middle of the table, they had the lights dimmed, and low romantic music was playing through the speaker system.
all around you, couples giggled and doted on one another, feeding each other pieces of cake or whispering in the other's ear. you’d been able to drown it out when you were sober, but now that the buzz of alcohol was over your skin, you couldn’t ignore the ache that the scenery gave you.
you wanted this. the simplicity of it, the romance. hands brushing over hands when pouring your lover a glass of wine, a hand on your back while your lover guides you to your table, or even the casual innocence of playing footsie under the table.
you’ve yearned for it for years, but the ambiance and wine made it fester into something rotten.
and caleb, god, caleb. he was making it so much worse just by being himself. he kept prompting you to talk his ear off over dinner, kept laughing at your jokes and teasing you. when he noticed you getting uncharacteristically flushed and giggly, he poured you less and less wine, which you didn’t notice.
when you left the restaurant, you found yourself a bit unsteady. caleb didn’t grab your arm and didn’t guide you, he just hovered in case you needed him to catch you, knowing you didn’t want to be touched.
“i’m not gonna fall, caleb, i’m a very capable person.” you mumble, walking down the sidewalk that suspiciously keeps rocking back and forth in your vision.
caleb hums and walks slightly ahead of you, opening the passenger side door of his car for you. “i know, i know, you don’t need caleb to help you. i’ve heard it a million times already.”
once caleb shuts your car door, the emotions from earlier come back at full force and you find yourself tearing up. love was something impossible for you, but yet, selfishly, you yearned for it all the same.
you hadn’t even heard caleb get in the car, but all at once he was comforting you. “hey, heyy, shh. what’s wrong hon?”
you covered your face with your hands, refusing to let him see you in this condition. “i want to be loved so badly it hurts.”
caleb’s face softened and he sighed, watching you cry from behind your hands. his hand hovered over your shoulder to rub it, but he clenched it and set it down on the center console of the car instead. “you are loved. i love you so much.”
you groan and shake your head. “but you love me like a friend. i want to be loved like a girlfriend, and then i want to be loved like a wife, but it’s not possible.”
“why don’t you think it’s possible?”
“you know why- because everytime i love someone they get hurt. i couldn’t handle it if something happened to you again, caleb.”
caleb turns the car on so you can warm up as he collects his thoughts. “you cant handle it if something happened to me? soo, you love me?”
you pause your crying and process his words. “how do you know that?” you accuse, your mind moving at too slow of a pace from the wine to comprehend.
caleb smiles a bit and looks at your angry face. “because you said… it doesn’t matter, alright? i feel the same way about you. i love love you, and not just as a friend.”
you recoil at his words, terror gripping you before happiness can. “take it back. you don’t love me- you can't love me.” the words fly out of you, desperately trying to shove his words back into his mouth in case whatever being cursed your touch decides to curse this too. “i’m not good for you. i’m the worst possible thing that could ever happen to you-”
caleb shakes his head and furrows his brows, frustrated. “stop talking like that, it’s all nonsense. you’re not cursed, okay? accidents happen all the time, so what if you’ve seen more accidents in a fraction of your life than most people do in all of theirs? it’s purely coincidence.”
he holds his hands out in front of you. “please. hold my hands and if nothing bad happens to me in the next week, you believe me and we try to make something work between us. i can’t just let you go because you’re terrified that you’ll hurt me.”
you immediately shake your head at the idea, your stomach churning uncomfortably. “it’s not worth it, i can’t. i need you to be alive, caleb, and… and i can’t guarantee that you’ll stay alive if i do this.”
caleb squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself not to tell you that you’re being ridiculous and overly paranoid, because he knows that no matter how insane your words sound to him, they’re still very real for you.
you continue on, anxiously rambling. “my love for you is spiraling out of control, but so are my thoughts about you dying. god, caleb, i’ve wanted you for so long but i can’t have you.” you shake your head and grip your hair, frustrated. “i don’t know what to do-”
“then let me help you. let me carry the burden you feel.” caleb tries gently, eyes locked on yours, so full of wanting to help you.
“let me love you, please, let me love you the way you deserve to be loved. i’m begging you to let your guard down again and let me show you that letting in won’t ‘doom’ me or whatever it is you think will happen.” he holds his hand out for you again, whispering. “please let me in again.”
you bite your lip and wonder if things could work out in your favor this time. maybe this time would be different… you’d never ‘doomed’ the same person twice, so maybe it only happened once per person?
looking at caleb, you knew that you wanted him so deeply that it burned in your chest. you wanted late nights cuddles together on the couch, wanted to laugh together and play fight. it could be a reality if you just take his hand.
so, you do and immediately regret it. your hand grips his loosely and he sighs in relief, reaching across the center console and pulling you into a desperate kiss by the nape of your neck.
hours later, the two of you lay tangled together naked in caleb’s bed. he traces shapes over your shoulderblade and mouths at your neck, making sure all of his skin is touching yours to make up for all the times he’s had to keep to himself.
you lay on him, face buried in his hair, inhaling deep breaths of his shampoo and committing it to memory. deep down, you knew this was a bad idea. for all of caleb’s reassurances and logical thought processes, you could feel the familiar sense of unease that’s been following you since you were a child. the unshakable sense of impending doom.
you speak over the soft wet sounds of his lips on the column of your throat, your voice low and defeated. “this is going to blow up in our faces.”
caleb hums and gives your neck a slow lick before resituating you so that you were face to face. he gently cradles the side of your face and you find yourself leaning into it, craving the touch.
his eyes trail over your features, softened with the afterglow of sex, and he smiles, pressing a kiss to your lips. he mumbles against them. “i promise i won’t let that happen. you’ll see, give it a week and i promise nothing will happen to me.”
an entirely normal week passes. well, normal except for the affection that caleb was now giving you- seriously, he clung to you like a koala at every given chance.
with every hour that passed that caleb wasn’t injured, your worries subsided little by little. maybe he’d been right. maybe whatever cruel being that cursed you decided you’d suffered enough, that you deserved love after starving for it for so long.
caleb had tempted the universe by saying if nothing happens to him for a week, then it’s safe to be with you. and after seven long, blissful days, he’s come away completely unscathed.
once those seven days were up, you felt on top of the world and lighter than you’d felt since before your grandma’s death. nothing could break your smile and caleb teased you about it.
“i’ve never seen you so happy. it was worth the risk, right?” he asked you the morning of the eighth day. you’d just smiled wider and nodded, kissing him through a fit of giggles. caleb had been your everything for so long and now he was entirely yours- yours to love, yours to touch, and yours to keep forever.
reluctantly, caleb put an end to the shenanigans that you both get up to in the early morning hours in favor of getting ready. he was graduating from his piloting program. he, along with a few other classmates, were selected to fly in an air show for the community.
he looked adorable in his blue and orange flight uniform, so professional that it made you giggle. once at the air show, before leaving him to his classmates, you had him pose for a few pictures with his small plane.
“hmmm, maybe lean against it? yeah, like that! blow me a kiss.” you tease and blush when he actually does it, snapping a picture.
“you want me to take a picture of you two?” a deeper voice asks from behind you, one of caleb’s classmates, judging by the matching outfits.
you nod and hand him the phone. “that would be great, thanks!”
caleb puts his arm around you for a few pictures, kissing your cheek and giving you bunny ears in other ones.
“c’mere, i have an idea.” he says, smiling, before lifting you up and sitting you on the edge of one of the plane’s wings.
you laugh and lean down to cradle his cheeks, throwing your legs over his shoulders as he faces away from you, towards the camera. “is this even allowed? what if i break it?”
caleb tilts his head back to look at you and gives a lopsided smile. “yep, people take pictures like this alllll the time. you couldn’t break it even if you tried, pretty girl.”
a whistle was blown, signaling to the pilots that it was time to get into positions for the show. caleb helped you hop down off of the wing, kissing you slowly in a goodbye.
you melt into his touch and get lost in the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and feeling the warmth blossoming in your chest. you feel it curl around your heart and wind through your ribs, trying to breach through your skin to reach caleb’s heart.
you’re forced apart by the shrill sound of the whistle a second time. you giggle and pull back, about to speak but caleb beats you to it. his words are quiet, meant just for you despite the crowd growing in size, but not lacking any conviction.
“i’m so in love with you. i’ve never been this happy in my entire life.” he nuzzles his nose softly with yours, his eyes closed in joy.
you smile again and hug him, whispering back. “i’m in love with you too. thank you for.. thank you for trusting me again. believing in me. showing me that i’m not cursed, or doomed, or any of those things people used to say. i love you, caleb.”
caleb smiled back and kissed the tip of your nose before pulling away. “i’ll see you on the ground, yeah?”
you giggle and nod, taking your phone from his classmate and blowing caleb a kiss. “i’ll see you on the ground, captain.”
half an hour later, you’re watching the show from the stands, surrounded by a crowd of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s. you’d been watching caleb's plane the entire time as it spun and flipped in the air, smoke following it.
the tricks were beautiful and flawlessly executed, the arcs smooth and fluid, and the spins mesmerizing in a way. it was easy to tell that it was choreographed, each plane mirroring another. the pilots clearly had control over their planes, the moves controlled and in sync with each other.
it was beautiful in a way, watching the smoke create patterns and watching the planes twirl in unison. it reminded you faintly of an old jewelry box you had as a child, with ballerinas that twirled together. a pang of sadness hit you then, remembering how one of the ballerinas broke and your parents threw the box away, saying it was defective.
you snapped out of the memory as the grand finale started. what a silly thing to think about during an air show anyway. you pulled your phone, smiling at the picture you’d just taken of the two of you on your wallpaper, before opening your camera app and quickly started recording. you knew that caleb would want to see the video later and talk your ear off on the ins and outs of what he was doing inside the cockpit to make it look so pretty, and you couldn’t wait to hear about it.
the group of planes flew up, up, up into the sky, then killed their engines and fell down towards the earth in daring, graceful spirals. except the plane all the way to the left didn’t look graceful at all.
it looked rigid, floundering around in the air like it was a tennis ball being hit back and forth with a racket. where the other planes were spinning like ballerinas, the one on the left looked more like the defective ballerina from your jewelry box.
when the side of the plane briefly turned towards the crowd, you saw the big “5” printed on the side- caleb was flying plane number five. caleb was in the plane that was thrashing around mid air, pummeling towards the earth like an asteroid. surely this was part of the show, right? nothing bad ever happened to caleb- that was like, his whole thing. a week had passed and nothing had happened to caleb, nothing was allowed to happen to caleb because the universe finally forgave you for everything. the stars, or the gods, or whatever being had cursed you had finally allowed you to be happy. you knew this because caleb said if nothing happened to him in a week then you weren’t cursed, and caleb never lied.
these were the thoughts running through your head rapidly as you watched the other planes pull up, going nose first back up into the sky.
i've killed him was the only thought in your mind as you watched plane number five crash nose first into the concrete runway below at an unfathomable speed, bursting into a flame larger than you’d ever seen. the heat reached you from where you stood in the stands. the crowd around you screamed in horror and ran, but you stood there, staring at the flames through the screen of your phone, still recording.
regret washed over you, thick and gripping and unshakeable. if you’d just told him no that night in the car, caleb would still be alive today instead of in pieces surrounded by rising flames: a spectacle in the worst possible way.
(if you don't want to read the s*icide part, stop here)
i killed him. he's burning alive right in front of me and i can't do anything about it. no, that’s not true. you could save him- you just had to get through the flames and get to him.
you drop your phone on the stands and run, fingers and feet searching for purchase in the chain link fence as you climb it. you ignore the barbed wire at the top that cuts into your legs and arms, throwing yourself over and onto the concrete below. it scrapes your skin, but you get up and run, your lungs burning as you breathe in the smoke. the fire burns your eyes, heat curling over your skin as you almost reach it- almost reach him.
god, if the heat is this unbearable to you, how bad must it be for him at the center of it? your poor caleb, he must be in so much pain, if you can just get to him you can fix it-
you gag at the stench of oil and burnt rubber, falling to your knees near the wreckage and beginning to crawl into the fire.
it licks over your skin and hair, the pain intense but not unbearable. no, what was unbearable was the thought of caleb dying alone in a fire that you caused. you might not be able to save him from the fate you subjected him to, but you would make sure he died in your arms with his head cradled against your chest hearing the apologies you murmur to him.
you collapse, unable to bring oxygen to your lungs, reaching out to touch the edge of the plane. your singed fingertips grip the scorching metal, crying out something that is supposed to be caleb’s name, but is closer to a garbled whimper.
the last thing you remember is warmth. not the kind of warmth you’d grown to love: caleb’s body on yours, his hand in yours, or the warmth that spread across your skin when he kissed you. no, it was the same warmth of shame you felt when those two women reprimanded you in the funeral home bathroom, or when your best friend's parents snarled at you at the hospital, or even when you saw the blood on caleb’s tuxedo at prom.
you’d always heard death was peaceful, that you felt no pain and only an overwhelming sense of happiness, but that wasn’t true. or maybe it was true, but reserved only for the good people in the world, not the ones who end up killing everyone they love.
memories rolling in your last seven minutes wasn’t a lie, though you didn’t get any reprieve there either. they showed you no memories of caleb, only of the misery and devastation you’ve caused the people unfortunate enough to know you.
you’d never deserved caleb, not in the slightest. letting yourself succumb to the same flames that seared his flesh off of his bones was the only ending you deserved. close to him, but so far away.
a/n pt2: okayy this is gonna be a long one!! i was very proud of the foreshadowing i did in this and i wanted to point it out because, well, i’m proud of it :D first, i constantly made reader feel heat on her skin, and as we know, poor girl burns to death. second, reader says that her love for caleb is spiraling out of control but so are her thoughts of him dying, and caleb’s plane spiraling out of control leads to his death! third, caleb never said that he would be immune once the week passes, he just says that nothing will happen to him DURING the week, and he’s right! he dies on the eighth day. fourth, the people that reader ‘kills’ only die after she touches something that they then touch. caleb doesn’t die after she touches him, just gets hurt, same with the people in school. he dies after she sits on the wing of his plane that he then gets into and crashes. (that one wasn’t really foreshadowing, just something i thought was cool :D) fifth, caleb and reader say they’ll see each other on the ground after the show, and they do!! just not in the way they hoped. not foreshadowing, but he was plane number 5 because he's LI number 5. giggles. oh alsoooo caleb was 'lucky' number 3!
EDIT: i remembered another!! reader tells caleb that them being together will blow up in their faces, and well...... it did. literally.
hmm i feel like there was more… i’ll come back and add to this if i remember anything else!!
summary: after a breakup with non!mc, caleb comes to you (mc) for help. you and caleb end up having sex… on non!mc’s birthday. yikes!
content: mc!reader, angst, guilt, smut, p in v, fucked up friendships, panic attack
wc: 1,967
a/n: non!mc is just called non in this!!
part two is here!
you’d been friends with caleb since childhood. the two of you have always been in the same orbit, following the other into different stages of life eagerly. you’d been partners in elementary school three-legged races, you’d both skipped class and stuck out detention in middle school, and you’d been each other's date to prom in highschool. platonically, of course. just as friends. at least that’s what you told yourself when you stepped out of caleb’s shower, skin still red from the heat and damp with water droplets.
caleb was leaning against his bathroom counter with a loose towel around his hips. he’d gotten out a few minutes before you, saying that he needed to reply to the group chat with you and non.
it was non’s birthday today and you and caleb were on track to being late to her dinner. the thought of it made a pit in your stomach- not just because you were going to be late on her birthday of all days- though that was pretty shitty too. no, guilt made your stomach churn because non wasn’t just one of your closest friends but calebs ex girlfriend- as of one week ago.
the three of you had met in middle school and had been close ever since then. non wasn’t very social, so she tended to cling to you and caleb like a koala. in your senior year of highschool, caleb and non started dating. you’d been happy for them at first, but after third wheeling one too many movie dates you started to hold resentment towards them.
your cheeks would flare with red when you saw non kiss caleb and your eye would twitch anytime she talked about him. after months of this resentment you realized that it wasn’t resentment at all- your feelings towards caleb weren't negative in the slightest, only towards non. it was jealousy.
unfortunately, the realization that you had an intense crush on caleb came at your senior prom, watching your two friends slow dance together.
they’d been dating for four years before caleb broke up with non, something about needing to let her go so she can really have what she wants in life- something he apparently couldn’t give her.
you didn’t prod, you just let both friends cry on your shoulder separately and listen to them rant. you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, feeling like you had to choose a side in the breakup. that’s how you ended up here at caleb’s house on non’s birthday.
he’d called you early this morning, asking you to come over to his place so he could talk out his nerves over seeing his ex so soon after the breakup. being the good friend you are, you showed up with snacks and tissues in tow.
you’d been prepared for pretty much everything except for what ended up happening- caleb blurting out that he thinks he loves you. that ended with the two of you in his bed, fucking eachother for hours.
while you towel dry your hair, you watch caleb brush his teeth and try to figure out how you got from point a to point b. you try to think of how you’re going to be able to look your best friend in the eye tonight at her birthday dinner knowing you were stuffed full of her ex boyfriends dick hours before.
god and non was devastated about the breakup, she’d been crying to you about it every night. she’d been convinced that caleb was seeing another girl and you’d convinced her that that was a ridiculous thing to think- caleb was extremely loyal, he would never cheat.
well, you were right at least, caleb hadn't exactly cheated. he’d slept with you after the breakup. you knew that was a bad argument though, having sex with another woman a week after ending a long term relationship was almost as bad as cheating during the relationship.
you lean against the counter and look at caleb, biting your lip anxiously. “caleb-”
“i know, i feel terrible about it too.” he answers without you even saying a thing, his voice filled with the guilt you feel weighing down on your shoulders.
you let out a sigh of relief. “thank goodness you feel the same. this never should have happened.”
you start working on your makeup in the mirror while caleb gets dressed beside you. “i texted non and said i was in traffic and i texted from your phone saying you slept through your alarm again.”
you laugh, but the sound is hollow in your throat. the excuses were, unfortunately, believable for you two. you had a track record of sleeping through your alarm.
“good. she can’t know about this, it’s best if we don’t even mention that we were together today.” you quickly finish up your makeup and turn to face caleb. “we can drive to the restaurant in your car and go in separately so it looks like we didn’t carpool.”
caleb nods and grabs your dress from the bathroom floor, smoothing it down and handing it to you. “agreed, she can’t know about this. god, it would crush her.”
ten minutes later, you exit the bathroom to meet caleb in his living room to leave, only to find him pacing with his sleeves shoved up.
“cay? ready to go? we’re already late as it is.” you try gently.
“i can’t- it’s getting hard to breathe.” he rasps, pacing towards you. you can hear his shallow breaths and see the panicked expression on his face.
you gently hold his wrist and place a hand on his rapidly beating heart. “hey, it’s okay, take deep breaths. are you having a panic attack?”
“fuck, i don’t know- i don’t know what to do, i just can’t see her like this.”
you nod in understanding, hands moving to his cheeks and gently swiping your thumbs under his eyes. “i know, but we have to go see her. it’s her birthday, caleb, and we are quite literally her only friends.”
caleb shakes his head again and grips onto your wrists, panicked eyes looking at you for help. he was clearly either on the verge of a panic attack or actively having one. you didn’t know how to help him- talking to him only made it worse, so you made a split second decision to try distracting him.
you raised up on your tip toes and pressed your lips to his hard, hoping that if you gave him something to do it might make him forget about the anxiety consuming him.
caleb pulled away and stared down at you, desire just barely covering his expression of guilt. his lips met yours again quickly.
you sighed and whispered against his soft lips through kisses. “we’re awful for this.”
caleb hums and murmurs through sloppy kisses. “so,” he licks over your lips. “terrible.”
just like hours prior, you didn’t know how the two of you had gone from that to this- your face pressed into caleb’s mattress while he fucked into you at a relentless pace. again.
all you could hear were your own desperate mewls and pleas, you’d tuned caleb out minutes prior when he started saying non’s name instead of yours, followed by apologies. you weren’t sure if he was apologizing to non for doing this or to you for saying her name- that was too complicated for you to untangle at this very moment.
you’d laid down on your back at first, expecting caleb to prefer the same position now that he did earlier in the night, but instead he’d flipped you onto your stomach and pulled your hips up towards him.
maybe it was easier this way, you didn’t have to feel guilty every time you watched him slam into you and caleb could pretend that you were some faceless being- maybe he was pretending you were non.
not looking at each other while you had sex made it easier to separate the act from the person you were committing it with. you could both pretend that you weren’t being awful friends this way.
the pleasure coils low in your belly and you reach below you to thumb your clit, whining as caleb slams into you.
his ramblings were nonsensical by the time he came. you followed behind him, quivering as you felt him twitch deep inside of you. the orgasm was dull and unsatisfying, unlike the first few that he’d given you. the guilt hadn’t been as all-consuming earlier as it was now. maybe it was better that the orgasm was so sub par, it might be easier to convince yourself that you’ll never do this again that way.
the car ride to the restaurant was awkwardly silent. there wasn’t any music to fill the silence, just the turn signal occasionally ticking and the car humming along.
you looked at the clock on the dashboard and sighed. it was 7:41 and they were supposed to meet you at the restaurant at 7.
“shit.” you groan and rub your hands over your hair.
“shit.” caleb echoes back, his knee jumping anxiously.
despite your better judgement, you reach over and rub his knee soothingly. “it’s fine. she’ll never know as long as we calm down and act normal- you’re not doing either of those things right now.”
caleb nods and takes a series of deep breaths, and you continue.
“we stick by our stories- you were hung up in traffic from a wreck and i slept through my alarm. easy peasy. we go in and act guilty-” you flinch at your words, knowing you both felt guilty but would be faking it for another reason. “-uhm, act guilty for being late. that’s it.”
caleb pulls into the restaurant parking lot and slides into a spot, turning the car off. “okay. we got this.” he turns to you and sighs, shaking his head. “fuck i’m so sorry, i messed everything up andi drug you down with me.”
“no, that was both of our decisions. the saying it ‘it takes two to tango’ for a reason, caleb. we both fucked up.”
he looks at you and drops his head, leaning forward and gently hugging you. his hand rubs over your back before pulling away and opening the car door. “now or never.”
you’d both forgotten one crucial part to the plan: walking in separately.
you saw non at a table in the corner by herself, sirring an empty cup of ice with her straw and your heart ached. how long had she been here? there weren’t even any appetizers on the table, she was probably starving waiting for you and caleb to arrive.
you walked ahead of caleb and plastered on a wide smile, leaning down and hugging non hard. “happy birthday lovely!! i’m so sorry i slept through my alarm, you know i’m a heavy sleeper.” you shake your head. “that’s not an excuse though, obviously, i just feel so bad-”
once your rambling starts to sound too guilty, caleb interrupts you just incase you ramble out the truth.
“traffic was terrible, non, i’m sorry. it was bumper to bumper, a semi totalled a car. it was terrible.”
you stood awkwardly while non’s gaze shifted slowly between you and caleb. bad- this was bad, non was the most forgiving person you knew. she’d never taken more than a second to smile and wave off apologies, even shitty ones like this.
“uhm, so what are we having for din-” caleb tries to shift the conversation, reaching for the back of the chair in front of him to sit down when non interrupts, her voice full of an anger that you’d never heard from her.
“you’re kidding, right? tell me you both weren’t late to my birthday dinner because you were fucking?”
—-
a/n pt2: YAYYY i had so much fun writing this, and even more fun writing part two >:D and yes, i DID finish them at the same time so you guys don’t have to wait for the second part! i might write evil angst but i’m nice to you guyssss :3
