Bad Romance Novel Lines from Across the Cosmere
Surely every world has romance novels, even those of the Cosmere. And surely all of them have romance novels with...unfortunately written lines. Here are some bad romance lines you might find across the Cosmere.
"Her bosom heaved like twin boulders tossed upwards by a Highstorm." (Roshar)
"Her fingers slid from her glove one by one, like tiny sausages popping from their casing." (Roshar)
"As she gazed at the shirtless, blue-eyed Mistborn, she felt her lust Riot and her inhibitions Soothe. He Pulled her to him." (Scadrial)
"'I'm burning tin so I can feel all of you,' he whispered." (Scadrial)
"As a man of the Third Heightening, I could see all of the many, perfect colors that swirled in her hazel eyes. 'Awooga,' I whispered." (Nalthis)
"The beautiful Drab threw a passionate hand against her bosom. 'If I had Breath, you would have taken it away!' she cried passionately." (Nalthis)
"'No,' he growled. 'You and I are like aether and water. If we touch, neither of us would survive the encounter!'" (Lumar)
"She stared at his member, as big and taut as the Sorceress's tower." (Lumar)
"'I may be an elite member of the Dreamwatch,' he whispered hoarsely, 'but when i Watch you, I know that you are my Dream.'" (Komashi)
"She stared at his glistening chest. His abs were round and stacked, like a perfectly balanced pile of rocks." (Komashi)
"She knew that his Passion burned like the Sun, just as Quick, just as Deadly, and just as Intent on Catching her." (Canticle)
"In that moment, her heart burned so fiercely that she might as well have been a Charred." (Canticle)
"His member burst forth like a Sandling erupting from the desert sand." (Taldain)
"And in that moment, I decided: I would cover my heart in sand, keep my feelings buried, until the pure water of his confessed love caused them to rise up." (Taldain)
"The wounds of this betrayal would never heal--never!--like a stubbed toe in Elantris before its restoration." (Sel)
"'My Domin(at)ion shows my Devotion,' he purred, pulling the ropes tighter." (Sel)
"'My Twinborn powers don't matter!' he cried passionately. 'The only twins I care about are those!' And he gestured at the twin mounds on her chest." (Scadrial)
"'I wish I was a Slider so that we could make this moment stretch forever,' he whispered, holding her. 'That sounds really expensive' she murmured back." (Scardrial)
" 'The real Everstorm is the one that rages in my HEART!' he cried raggedly." (Roshar)
"Eagerly, she unsheathed his Shardblade but then paused, in awe. It was really more of a Shardhammer. And she couldn't WAIT to get smashed."
