Loving Lies | Cassian x Reader
Summary: Only a few days after the war with Hybern ends, Cassian discovers that you, the “male” that’s been his Second in Command for nearly a decade, are a female in disguise.
Word Count: ~ 1.2k
Warnings: Mentions of war and death, injuries, reader is Illyrian, possessive cass
A/N: This is basically just the mulan movie on crack, hope you enjoy<3
@cassianappreciationweek (yes I know I’m late)
Requests are open!
You, one of his most loyal men, one who’d been by his side for nearly a decade by now. You’d always been relatively kept to yourself, only sharing the barest details that you’d grown up in Windhaven like all the other males, father an unknown male, and mother just another female whore in the camps.
Or at least, that’s what he’d believed. He’d had no reason to question you, and why would he when you’d completed almost every task he’d thrown your way, clawing your way up the ranks until you had your little squadron of males to order and handle during the war with Hybern. Not too many, because your main power wasn’t with your strength, no, it was your mind.
Sometimes, he thought that you could rival Azriel with the ways you managed to challenge his plans and put every perspective into his mind, forcing him to change and adapt until it was as foolproof as could be.
The war had taken a chunk out of the Illyrian army, Cassian knew that better than anyone considering he’d watched the Cauldron blast a third of the army into dust firsthand. But even in the aftermath, you had somehow survived, supposedly barely avoiding the numerous blasts, and sustaining nearly fatal injuries that you were recovering from now.
It had only been a few days since the battle had laid to rest, and Cassian finally let himself visit you. He stood outside the thick white tent’s flapping entrance, candlelight shining out from the inside. Swallowing down any emotion, he carefully walked in, ducking under the entrance and tucking his wings in to not disrupt anything inside of the tent.
However, what he saw inside confused him.
You were bare, which was normal for any injured male when they were being treated, save for bandages around your chest, not because of any injury, but to conceal.
“What is..?”
He trailed off to the little female in the tent, who looked a bit pale as she sewed one of the wounds in your wings, but not pale from seeing the blood and gore. No, she had seen far worse in the war. She glanced up at him, then back down at your unconscious body.
“Your Second is a female.”
The nurse said quietly, almost as if frightened of his reaction. His mind went blank at that. The bandaging wasn’t because you’d suffered some sort of injury to your chest, it was because you had tits.
His Second in Command was a female.
It made sense, looking back. How you were always more scrawny than the other males, nimble while they were muscular. Or how you were much smarter than the rest of the uncivilized brutes, or the way he’d seen the littlest of straps underneath your leathers, almost like a binder. He’d been stupid not to realize it sooner.
With a sigh, he plopped down on the ground next to the low table you were placed stomach-down on.
“Will she wake up soon?”
She. The word tasted odd in his mouth when regarding you. The nurse seemed to relax a little bit.
“The sleep tonic might wear off soon, by the looks of it.”
She replied, and her words rang true as only a few minutes later, you began twitching and mumbling things. The nurse quickly finished up with your wings, and as you woke up, helped you to sit upright, putting a spare block of wood behind your back that was meant for a fire.
Your eyes groggily opened, hazy until you blinked a few seconds, your gaze snagging onto his and widened, glancing down at your chest, before back up at him, and you sighed.
“Well, I guess you were bound to find out eventually.”
You said in a resigned tone. His hands went running through his messy hair in a stressed manner before he finally stood so he could look down at you properly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He asked in a tone full of what sounded like betrayal. You inwardly winced at it.
“I..couldn’t, this was the only way to keep my wings and not end up like the other females in the camps.”
You said, not having the gall to even look him in the eye after lying to him for a decade. Surprisingly, you felt his hand brush against your cheek as he cupped it, kneeling to be at eye level with you. He gently moved your face, so you were looking into his now soft eyes, yours brimming with held-back tears.
“I..understand, but you know I’m not like the other males, right? I wouldn’t have let them touch you.”
You sighed, knowing that he was a good male.
“It’s not about that, Cassian.”
“Then what was it about? I can understand it for the first few years, clawing your way up the ranks, but you could’ve told me. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”
He then demanded an answer, tone firm but also trying not to push too far. Pushing an injured soldier too far was a mistake he’d made only once, and never again.
You sighed again, this time seeming more resigned to admitting whatever was still keeping your body tense like you were hiding something from him.
“Because we’re mates, and the bond snapped for me, but never for you. And if I told you, then I knew it would snap for you, and you’d know everything and..”
Another sigh, this time at his silence and wide-eyed stare. Your prediction had been dead on, the moment you revealed it, it snapped on his end. He was angry that you, his perfect half, his Cauldron-deemed partner, had hidden it, but a more rational side of him understood. And empathized.
Still, the possessiveness already creeping in, he huffed.
“You’re coming to Velaris with me.”
He said bluntly, and your eyes widened.
“You can’t just-“
“The Illyrians would throw a fit if a single word of you being female gets out, which it soon will, and they’re already unruly after the war. You know that.”
And you did know that, because as much as you hated to admit it, he was right, and had outsmarted you this time.
“Territorial Illyrian bastard,”
You grumbled as you slung your legs over the side of the table, struggling to sit up on your own. The possessiveness didn’t fade, but he gave you a lazy grin that exposed his pointed canines.
“Scared of a night alone with me?”
He teased, despite the obvious strain lurking beneath his words. You shot him a half-assed glare, and the nurse was then again at your side, checking on wounds while encouraging you to “relax” while she poked and prodded you.
“When’s the earliest she’ll be able to travel?”
Using ‘she’ was more natural now. The nurse glanced up at him, then at your wings that had been patched together with hundreds of stitches.
“She won’t be able to fly for at least six months, but if you carried her…I’d give it a week or two.”
She answered in that quiet tone, and Cassian gave you a smug grin that you scowled at.
“Hear that? You’ll be in my arms in no time at all..”
He said with that idiotic, shit-eating grin he always wore.
“Oh, burn in Hell.”
