Jan 28
Random idea i find funny: Stan has problems at school and doesn't want to talk about it but he keeps coming home injured
Naturally rather than dealing with this in a normal way Diegos like "hey five can you to his school and stalk Stan so I know who to beat up"
Five complains a lot but obviously says yes
Cue general shenanigans as Five tries to figure out who the fuck is injuring his nephew while avoiding Stan and lying to everyone that he totally goes to this school why do you ask
Important notes: Five is not wearing the school uniform and he brought alcohol. Mr Pennycrumb is in his backpack but five denies it (normally five doesn't bring him on missions but fives just there to beat up a middle schooler, it's fine)
#I'm tired this may be pure nonsense#But I find the idea funny#Five beats the shit out of whoever it is before Diego gets the chance to#Cause duh#Also five wont go to jail for beating up a child#Later diegos all offended because “i wanted to do it!”#And five answers along the lines of “well I couldn't let you go to jail and leave stan to be parented by Lila of all people”#“You have a good track record so far no reason to mess it up now”#Diego reminds five he went to jail temporarily for murder and five rolls his eyes and answers#“I meant with parenting. We all know youre a criminal”#And teleports off before Diego can comprehend that five told him he's a good dad#tua#glassfish rambles#five hargreeves
