The Pressure’s Building || Self Para 01/27/79
Summer breezes and scents of red roses lingering in the air along with giggles and murmured 'I love yous'. Smiles of happiness and content, tiny feet padding across the wooden floor and toys strewn across the living room. Brightly colored lights, family meals and sleepy cuddles. Her life looked like the perfect marriage to anyone outside and even to Ted, but in the inside it wasn't that for her. In the small girls heart her life was slightly in shambles. Guilt and depression wrecked havoc on her mind. Anxiety screamed at her every second she was awake. 'What if I end up like my mother? What would I do with myself after becoming such a monster?' Andromeda wouldn't be able to live with herself had she become someone so evil. Guilt riddled her very being no matter what she did to try and escape from it. A daughter who left her family wasn't much of a daughter at all in her mind. Her family hated her and they should. She shattered her sisters' hearts with a single action, and it killed her every day.
Bellatrix, her older sister is probably the person she has hurt the most. The sisters were closer than anything in world when they were younger. Countless times has Bellatrix saved the smaller girl from harm at the hands of her father. Andromeda loved her. Loved her so much she would've done anything for her sister had she been asked, even to this day, if needed she would protect her sister like she had done many times for her. Younger versions of the girls would run around the manor, or outside in the garden and laugh at the silliest things.
"Bella!" The younger girl ran away squealing as her sister chased her around the garden, her small feet moving quickly as she dodged the soft flowers being tossed at her by her sister. It was summer and the girls were alone with the servants as their parents where at St. Mungo's. Druella was in labor so soon their newest sister would make an entrance to the world, the younger sister was both scared and excited. Excited she would get to be an older sister like Bella was to her and scared she wouldn't be loved as much anymore, at least from Bellatrix. She was never really loved by her mother. She didn't stop running though. Her giggles echoed in the cool air as her feet crunched along the fallen leaves among the yard and she was so busy laughing she lost concentration for a second. This resulted in the small brunette to run full force into a wall and fall onto her back with a loud whine. Her body momentarily limp as she screwed her eyes shut with the short burst of pain in her spine. She started crying silently because audible tears weren't welcome in the house and as it was drilled inti her mind, she couldn't do anything but let the tears fall, scared of her father even though he wasn't around at that moment. Moments later her sister came running over and knelt beside her and kissed Andromeda's forehead and smoothed her tears and offered her hand. The girls got up and ran inside opting that was enough play for the day and headed to Bella's room to read.
Next was Narcissa, Andromeda's baby sister. A delicate creature who loved the simple things along with being much more feminine than Andie or Bella, but she loved her just the same. However, Cissa tended to get more love from their parents than the girls who came before her. Yes at times Meda was jealous but times she saw it as a relief because she wouldn't endure the things they did. The beatings, the verbal abuse. All things she dodged and for that she was lucky. Narcissa just turned two years old and with that came the fact she now knew how to run around and get her hands on things Andromeda and Bellatrix wouldn't dream of touching. So when the small blonde ran into a table and knocked a vase over and smashed it, hell broke loose. Andromeda feeling tired from the night before walked along the carpeted floor towards the kitchen to get a glass of juice but was stopped by the sound of her mother's scream.
"ANDROMEDA BLACK, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'VE DONE?" The young girls brows screwed together as she looked up at the monster who birthed her. "Nothing mother." Her voice was lace with confusion as the older lady continued to scream at her. "Clean this bloody mess up this instant, Andromeda I have half a mind to keep you from that Rosier boy. "
With a dejected sigh Andromeda's eyes fell to the floor as she chewed her lip and walked to get the broom. She looked at Narcissa before she went and cursed her. It was infuriating how she got blamed for her sister's fuck up even though she was a baby. The brunette held a bit of resentment towards the younger girl. At least for now.
Finally we have Evan Rosier. A boy she fell for while they were teenagers. Her escape from the dangers of her home life. He understood, he would comfort her had she ever showed up at his door with bruises on her body. He was the one who knew the most about her, and her with him. Evan was her anchor. At least for a time. This is one person she never meant to hurt, at least not as badly as she did. The guilt riddles her single day of her life and it gnaws at her like death eats a corpse's flesh. She loved him. His charming smile, his always warm embrace when she was crying and the kindness he always showed her, drew her in and still has a hold on her. Sure she ended up marrying Ted and she truly did love him but her couldn't compare to Evan. That boy had a hold she never expected to be this strong it drives her insane. If only she told him the truth. If only she told him about her rape, and how she was afraid of how'd he view of her afterwards. They may have never split so harshly. She might have married him instead. It was one of her biggest regrets.
"Mimiiii!" The voice called as the boy ran up to to the brunette just about scaring her out of her skin. The girl jumped and screeched softly and then gently whacked Evan on the shoulder. "Bloody hell Evy, you scared me!" She pouted and sighed as she crossed her hand over her chest. Evan pouted in return and kissed her forehead before he took her hand and started running towards the doors of hid manor that led to the roof. There was servants scattered everywhere out there because it was getting close to one of his father's engagements, much to both of their displeasure. To say Andromeda's face was confused was understatement as she looked along the lining of the roof which had buckets and bowls galore filled with water. With a slight cock of her head she looked up at her crush, she was so much shorter than him it hurt her neck. "Evy what is all this?" She asked softly chewing her lip gently.
br>The boy looked at her with a wicked grin and lifted a bowl from the ground and looked over the side of the roof and tossed the water down atop of one of his servants and her eyes went wide as she squealed. "You're insane." She flailed a bit and ducked when the man looked up and didn't see where the water came from.
Evan just laughed and handed her one and nudged her. "Come on Mimi, or are you scared?"
"I am not scared. " She huffed in slight annoyance and looked over the edge of the roof and threw it. Her's hit one of the higher up servans and she cursed at Evan from below. Andromeda's eyes widened as she covered her mouth to keep from giggling but that failed as soon as Evan grabbed her hand and started to run away again. The girl rolled her eyes and laughed as she ran along behind him. They were headed to a secret room in the basement, where only they knew. They dubbed it their hide out whenever Evan planned shenanigans and they had to get away.
Once there Evan pressed a book on a bookcase that cleverly hid the entrance to the small room. A small bed leaned up against the wall with multiple pillows and a big duvet along with numerous books and games strewn across the floor. With a soft laugh Andromeda climbed in and flopped on the bed and laid back with a smile, as she held her hands out for Evan to join her. Once he did she hummed and poked his side. "One of these days, we're going to get caught." His response was just a wink and a shrug as he kissed her cheek. Little did she know this would be the last time they'd be on that room.
The girls mind was so fogged with the memories of her past she hadn't realized she has shattered almost all of the good china in her kitchen or that her eyes were stained with tears. Her husband standing off to the side watching her in confusion as she sobbed and screamed and threw everything she could get her hands on. The young girl missed her family, she needed them but they aren't here. She hurt them, why would they want her. With a defeated sigh she turned and locked eyes with him.
"This has got to stop Andromeda. Your outbursts scare our daughter." He said with a flat tone to his voice as he crossed his arms over his chest.
NAndromeda responded with a snarl and glared at him. "Don't tell me what to do about my emotions. You don't know what I'm dealing with. " She huffed and picked up another plate and smashed it against the wall.
Her husband took a slow breath in order to calm himself and watched her intently. "You still love him don't you?" His tone was low as if his heart was shattering just as everyone else's had at her touch. The girl hissed and moved to push past him and towards that door, but she crumbled to the floor once she made it there. Her small body sliding along the pale blue wall until her bum was flat against the floor. her eyes dripping tears rapidly as she curled against herself. "I'm sorry." She frowned and looked up her husband slowly. "I thought I was over him, but then he came into work and everything exploded and now I don't know what I fell." The young girl hiccuped with a sad sigh as her arms curled around her body. "Everything is too much."
It's true she couldn't. Guilt from her family haunting her. Running into Evan, not to mention her daily postpartum depression battle and fear of becoming her mother. The girl had so much on her plate she hadn't realized she was slowly edging towards the end of the bridge and about to fall off. what if she did fall off? Would she ever be able to make it back? Would everything go back to normal or would she be forever changed? She didn't know but she had to do something. Ted sighed as he watched his wife sit there against the wall before he sat beside her and rested his arms atop his knees. "Maybe we should take a break." He said softly and rested his lips against her hair as he closed his eyes sadly. "You're hurting, and I think you need to focus on your sanity for a bit my dear. Being around Dora is only adding to your stress."
Andromeda sobbed softly as she rested her head against his shoulder and hiccuped. Silence sat over the couple as she let the options run through her head, analyzing what good could come from that and what the bad would be. Hours passed before she calmed enough to rationalize a thought on the subject as her brain fog finally cleared. soft features looked upon Ted's masculine ones, one hand coming up to gently run along his cheek and she leaned into kiss him deeply with a soft sigh. "I promise I'll come back to you." She whispered gently before another kiss was placed to his lips followed by the brunette standing up. Small feet padded along the living room and upstairs, with a flick of her wand a suitcase appeared and a month's worth of clothes fitted themselves neatly inside.
It was settled. Andromeda would take a break for a month. Gather her emotions, fix herself and come home once again to her family. No matter what she was going through she still loved her husband and her daughter., but what good of a mother and wife would she be if she slowly drove herself insane?
