Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated is now seeking an assistant to help develop, troubleshoot, and realize innovative engineering projects designed to help solve problems in the community. New and exciting challenges will be waiting for you every day!
Benefits:
- Weekly pay with flexible scheduling
- Lunch and training provided
- Unlimited (not paid) sick leave
- Letter of recommendation upon exit
Requirements:
- Must be able to lift and carry up to 100 pounds
- Must be tolerant of frequent setbacks, explosions, on-site accidents
- Willingness to travel preferred
- Previous engineering experience preferred
- Tragic backstory non-negotiable
Danny looked up from the job listing on his phone to eye the DEI building warily. It looked pretty official, more official than the run-down dump he'd been half-expecting, but this was the address on the Craigslist ad. Dr. Doofenshmirtz had replied to his email almost immediately even though the listing was over a month old, assuring him that it was still available. Danny still wasn't completely convinced, but the guy seemed nice enough.
The front door was locked, but there was an intercom unit on the side. He pressed it. "Hey, I'm, um, here to interview for the lab assistant position?"
"Ah, you must be Daniel Fenton! Yes, yes, come in, I'll ring you up. I'm on floor 27."
The door unlocked, and Danny pushed through, glancing around. It looked clean enough down here, like any unused office building. The elevator was close by, and it only took a minute to arrive when he pressed the up button. He stepped inside, pressed the button for floor twenty-seven, and stepped back, bouncing uncomfortably on his toes.
This job listing had actually been more organized than a lot of the wanted ads on Craigslist, but the warning about explosions and on-site accidents left him feeling apprehensive. He'd brought his resume and some blueprints anyway, plus some supporting documents in case Dr. Doofenshmirtz was really serious about the 'tragic backstory' thing.
The elevator opened to an area that was, honestly, a lot cleaner and more organized than Danny had expected; it was almost like Doofenshmirtz had cleaned up for the occasion. The man himself was seated on one side of a coffee table, waving to Danny to catch his attention. Danny headed over, and the man settled, beaming.
"Daniel Fenton, how good to meet you!" Doofenshmirtz declared, in a shockingly recognizable evil scientist tone. Yeah, that was kind of what Danny was worried about.
He sat down anyway, holding out his hand to shake Doofenshmirtz's. "Danny, please. Good to meet you too."
Doofenshmirtz looked even more pleased, shook his hand even harder than Danny's dad tended to, and held his hand out for Danny's resume. "Danny, then! So." He gave Danny's resume a quick look over. "You're interested in being an evil lab assistant, are you?"
"Um, can I just be a chaotic neutral lab assistant instead?" Danny tried, without a lot of hope.
Doofenshmirtz seemed to give that serious consideration. "Did I forget to put 'evil' in the job description?"
"Um, yeah." Danny fidgeted with his folder, worried about where this was going.
"I see." Doofenshmirtz sighed. "In that case, chaotic neutral will do!" He nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Since that was my own mistake. Your resume was highly impressive!" Yeah, that wasn't something anyone else had said about Danny's resume. "If you don't mind, I'd like to discuss your background in quantum physics!"
The talk was surprisingly enjoyable. Doofenshmirtz didn't seem to mind that all of Danny's experience was informal; Danny could intelligently discuss the principles of quantum and nuclear physics, mechanical and electrical engineering, and robotics with him, which seemed to satisfy him. Doofenshmirtz assured him that any gaps in his knowledge could be filled in, and even praised the blueprints he'd brought in, not once implying that they were either impossible or stolen.
"Wonderful!" Doofenshmirtz decreed at last, clapping his hands. His odd way of speaking had quickly gone from off-putting to endearing. "Now, about your tragic backstory..."
"Um, I wasn't sure how serious you were about that, but I brought some medical documents?" Danny offered hesitantly, now fairly certain Doofenshmirtz had been 100% serious. Doofenshmirtz made a 'gimme' gesture, so Danny passed them over. "Did you have any specific questions, or...?"
"Share, share!" Doofenshmirtz encouraged, scanning the medical documents. "I may ask questions during or after."
"Okay..." Danny fidgeted again, grabbing a fallen screwdriver off the floor to play with. "Um, my parents weren't abusive or anything, but they were kind of careless." Doofenshmirtz gestured for him to go on, looking expectant. "Their lab safety was like, awful, and the thing about that was that the lab was in the basement, and I was in there all the time. So there were like... a lot of accidents." He gestured to the documents, and Doofenshmirtz lit up with comprehension. Danny shrugged uncomfortably. "I once tried to drink out of a beaker that had an acid solution in it, I cut myself on broken glass a lot, they fed me and my sister a lot of contaminated food because they'd store samples in the fridge... but the big one was an electrical accident when I was fourteen."
He pointed at the relevant document, and Doofenshmirtz flipped to it.
"I came pretty close to dying and I never really recovered," he explained. "Heart problems, nerve damage, some brain fog and memory problems... my grades tanked after that and it's only recently that I've been getting control over my life again. Um, there's more if you need it, but that was the really big one so I figured it would be a good place to start?"
Doofenshmirtz considered him seriously for a long moment, and then beamed.
✧ the elle woods study method: mindset makeover & foundation building ✧
hey lovelies! 💗
omg, i'm literally bursting with excitement to start this transformative series with you all! we're going to dive deep into actually studying like elle woods, and all her study methods. it's going to change your academic life. (while keeping you fabulous, obviously!)
let's start with the most crucial element - the elle woods mindset. you know how elle went from being underestimated at harvard to graduating with honors? that transformation began in her mind, and that's exactly where we're starting too!
the core principles of the elle woods mindset (get ready to take notes!):
unwavering self-belief: elle's iconic "what, like it's hard?" attitude wasn't just cute - it was crucial
authenticity as your superpower: your unique perspective is your strength
resilience through positivity: turning every "you can't" into "watch me"
strategic determination: working smarter, not just harder
maintaining your essence: success shouldn't mean losing yourself
let me break down how to actually build this mindset (because theory without practice is like a perfect outfit without accessories - incomplete!):
mindset foundation building:
• start a daily confidence journal (pink, obviously!)
• write three daily affirmations
• document your wins, no matter how small
• reflect on challenges and how you overcame them
goal setting the elle way:
• dream big (harvard law big!)
• break down major goals into mini-milestones
• create realistic timelines
• identify potential obstacles and plan solutions
• celebrate every achievement (even the tiny ones!)
your personal success toolkit:
• a dedicated study planner (color-coded, elle would approve)
• positive affirmation cards
• vision board (mix academic and personal goals)
• progress tracking system
• reward system for reaching milestones
practical assignments for this week:
yes, i'm giving you all homework, because what's a lesson without doing homework? <3
mindset makeover tasks:
• create your confidence corner (a designated study space that makes you feel powerful)
• write your personal academic manifesto
• identify and challenge three limiting beliefs
• create a morning power routine
organization prep:
• get your study essentials (cute but functional!)
• set up your planning system
• create a semester overview
• design your ideal weekly schedule
community building:
• find your study buddies (your personal warner hunting club, but for academics!)
• join study groups
• set up accountability partnerships
• create a support system
elle's journey wasn't about memorizing legal terms - it was about believing she belonged in those hallowed halls while wearing her signature pink. you deserve to feel that same confidence in your academic journey. <3
advanced tips for the overachievers (because why not be extra?):
record yourself giving pep talks for tough days
create a study aesthetic that energizes you
develop personal success rituals
build a playlist that makes you feel powerful
photograph your progress for motivation
coming up in this series:
time management secrets
memory techniques that actually work
note-taking methods that slay
exam preparation strategies
self-care routines for academic success
group study dynamics
presentation skills
stress management
celebration strategies
and more of course <3
remember: elle woods didn't just survive harvard - she thrived while being unapologetically herself. that's our goal too! you're not just going to study better; you're going to build an academic approach that celebrates who you are.
homework time (but make it fun):
create your academic vision board
write your semester goals
design your ideal study schedule
set up your success tracking system
prepare your study space
xoxo,
mindy
p.s. don't forget to reblog and follow for the complete series! we're building our own little academic sorority here! <3
Political attacks from the left are a really powerful rhetorical tool for the cause of reactionaries. Take, for example, lesbian exclusion of trans women. If you challenge the exclusion directly, acknowledging that it exists, you'll be hit by typical right wing transphobia; "lesbians don't want to date 'men'," after all. This is standard fair for "crossdressing interlopers", we're all familiar by now. (I hope the dryness of my tone doesn't obfuscate my vitriol.) However, if you imply trans women can do better than associating with the lesbian spaces and identities that exclude us, that we can seek comfort in one another instead, trans people will act like you are creating that exclusion; 'how dare you imply lesbians don't accept us, you're just trying to keep trans girls away from the loving embrace and acceptance of real Cis women!' No matter what angle you take when attacking structures of oppression, whether you're commenting on them directly or suggesting a solution, you are under attack; the ultra-"leftist" forces which coincidentally take inaction for progress and the right wing forces of direct reaction coalesce into a single front against progressive ideology. A similar thing applies to the more fundamental politics of social and economic organization: Marxist-Leninist communists can critique the flaws of the global capitalist-imperialist system and be jeered as radicals, smeared in any number of ways by capitalist political establishment, violently suppressed (communist organization is still illegal in the united states, for an imperial-core relatable example); And when they succeed in actually building socialism, a tangible way to oppose the bourgeoisie and their system of extraction and domination, they are jeered from the "left" (by the anarchists, the social democrats, the trotskyists et al.): "you're the same as what came before; no, worse! you shouldn't have tried to change anything at all." Naturally, their critiques are grounded in the (provably false) propaganda of the capitalist states, which they implicitly support by opposing all opposition to the status quo; and these people balk at the idea that they are anything less than the true voice of progress!
At the end of a post like this, I'd be remiss not to put any actual further reading. So here's a list:
- Really Existing Fascism - a short essay that analyzes the idea of a unified "totalitarian" front between communists and fascists, and whether that holds up against the well-documented historical record.
- Principles of Communism - an incredibly short pamphlet that gives some basic definitions for marxist terminology.
- The Communist Manifesto - a brief outline of the programme of the communists, as it existed in an era before our movement had seen any proven success.
- Atrocity Fabrication - an incredibly well cited book documenting the ways western media fabricates atrocities without evidence in order to manufacture consent for unprovoked political violence; the book doesn't ask you to take it at its word, its sources come from the heart of western reporting itself.
- Open Veins of Latin America - A poetically written, terribly beautiful history of the imperialist violence levied against the people of what is now latin america, from first contact with europe up through the book's publishing in 1971, with a less detailed addendum covering the developments through the start of operation condor.
- Wage Labor and Capital - The basis of marxist economic theory; Das Kapital is an incredibly dense book, this preliminary text gets you part of the way there.
- Dialectical and Historical Materialism - a pamphlet that discusses the broadest strokes of the marxist analytical method, why it matters, why it works.
- The German Ideology - the detailed origin of the marxist analytical method of dialectical materialism, where it comes from, and how it works.
Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1,996
Summary: As a Senior Developer at Superior AI, it’s no surprise that you’re assigned to work on the malfunctioning bot that nobody else can seem to fix. What is surprising? Just how noncompliant and vulgar said malfunctioning bot is.
Warnings: AU. Explicit language. AI!Lloyd. Developer!Reader. 40s!Curvy!Reader. I know next to nothing about being a developer, so cut me some slack please lol 😅 Vulgar language and innuendos.
A/N: Here he is!!!! AI!Lloyd is coming in hot and horny, as per usual bwahaha. I hope you enjoy him as much as I do. Please take a moment to screech at me once you finish reading. I can’t wait to hear what you think! Enjoy! ❤️
Superior AI Masterlist
The timing was almost comical.
You literally just finished submitting the report to close out your latest project when the door to your lab slid open with a quiet whoosh.
You glanced up, lips tilting into a smile as your boss and Director of the Systems & Behavior Engineering Department at Superior AI, Margaret Cahill, strode in.
You both admired and envied how put together and unflappable Margaret always was. You knew that as a woman inching closer to retirement but having no interest in walking away from her work, she had clawed her way to the top of this male-dominated industry and had to fight each and every day to retain her position and authority.
She had seen something in you nearly twenty years ago when she hired you straight out of college and had promptly taken you under her wing. And now here you were, working as her most senior developer, and soaking in as much of her knowledge and wisdom as you could.
Margaret was like the mother you had always wanted but sadly never had, and she returned the small smile you gave her as she stood before you.
“I know there’s only a week until you take your much-deserved vacation,” Margaret got right to it, “But I have a new assignment for you. One I think you’ll enjoy.”
You perked up at that, rising from your seat and nearly wincing at the tightness in your lower back and shoulders. You really needed to remember to get up every once in a while to move around and stretch more often–you certainly weren’t getting any younger, and your body was more than happy to beat you over the head with that truth on the daily.
“Tell me more,” you nearly grinned, feeling a spark of excitement at the glimmer of amusement–and challenge–in your boss’ gaze.
She turned just as your lab door slid open again. You both watched as two department AIs worked together to wheel in an upright dolly that held a third robot, slumped over with his head hanging against his chest, clearly powered off.
“This is Lloyd Hansen,” Margaret gestured to the robot on the dolly. “He never made it to market, barely got off the assembly line before he started to glitch.”
She handed you a folder that was thick and filled with various reports and documentation on the bot, provided by a handful of previous developers.
“Glitching how?” you asked as you flipped open the folder and gave the contents a quick glance.
“Noncompliant behavior. He’s somehow been overriding his programming and default protocols,” Margaret explained. “Everything from refusing to comply with standard directives, to vulgar language and behavior. He even managed to procure his own accessories without leaving an order or payment papertrail.”
You glanced up, eyeing the AI’s outfit. An expensive yellow and tan polo with some fancy logo on the breast, fitted khaki slacks, and a pair of Gucci loafers, without socks. You made a face as you met Margaret’s bemused gaze.
“How is this possible?” you asked.
She shrugged. “If any of the other developers had solved that puzzle, I wouldn’t be here. Figured you could use a fun one though before you’re off on vacation.” She paused, her features going serious. “You are still going on vacation, right? You haven't taken time off in so long, HR asked me if I was sure you weren’t a bot.”
You snorted, giving her a wry grin. “Yes, I’m still going on vacation. I booked a decked out cabin in the middle of nowhere. Three whole weeks of rest and relaxation.”
“Good,” Margaret gave you a genuine smile. The twinkle returned to her eyes as she asked, “Are you planning to take a special someone with you so you don’t need to spend your vacation all alone?”
You grimaced. “No, just me. As usual.”
Because you weren’t great at dating and hadn’t done it in a long time. You tended to spend most of your time working, or thinking about work. You were beginning to think that maybe you were destined to be alone.
“Well I hope you have a wonderful time. And I expect you to fully log off for the entire duration,” Margaret gave you a stern look.
“Yes, ma’am.”
She nodded, pleased. “Well, have fun with this one. Just take a few weeks to work on him, and then let me know if you think he’s salvageable or if we should have him decommissioned for parts.”
“Will do.”
You and Margaret shared a final smile before she turned and strode from your lab, the two department bots dutifully trailing after her and leaving you all alone with…
You checked the folder again–Lloyd Hansen.
You’d never met or heard of a Lloyd in your entire life.
“What a dumb name,” you snorted, tossing the folder onto your desk before circling the slumped frame of the AI.
He was tall and well-built, his shoulders broad and testing the stretch of his polo. Lloyd had a narrow waist and thick thighs, and his brown hair was shaved on the sides but long on top and currently swooping over his face. You touched a finger beneath his chin to lift his head, surprised by the handsome features that awaited you.
Well, minus the mustache.
“Obviously engineered by someone who’s a fan of 70s pornos,” you snickered before circling the bot again.
You touched the patch of skin at the back of his neck, not perturbed in the least by how real his faux skin felt.
In response to your caress, the Superior AI logo appeared on Lloyd’s nape, glowing neon turquoise to highlight the usually hidden power button. You pressed it for three seconds before Lloyd immediately straightened, going rigid as he let out an irritated grunt.
“What the shit?” he snarled, glancing around your unfamiliar lab. “Where’s that four-eyed basement dweller, I swear to fuck, I’m gonna snap his pencil neck!”
“Wow,” you hummed, eyes wide as Lloyd spun around to face you, his brow furrowing. “Margaret was not kidding, you’re kind of the worst, huh?”
Lloyd’s furrowed brow morphed into a full on glower. “Who the hell are you?”
“The next in a long list of developers who've been charged with trying to salvage you. Apparently, I have my work cut out for me.”
Lloyd hmphed as his bright blue eyes slowly inched over you, lingering on the swell of your chest and the generous curve of your hips. When you turned to move toward the diagnostics area of your lab, you heard Lloyd hum at the view from behind.
“At least you’re easy on the eyes, cupcake. Look at all that junk in your trunk. Come on, let Lloydy poo cop a feel…”
Stubbornly ignoring the flare of heat in your face and the dumb flutter in your stomach–because it had been a long time since you received any physical admiration–you scoffed at him as you powered up the testing station.
“Do we have a frat bro mode that I’m unaware of?” you muttered as Lloyd sauntered closer. “If so, turn it off.”
From your periphery, you could see him staring at your ass, teeth sinking into his lower lip as his fingers twitched at his sides, like he was restraining himself as he shifted even closer.
“No can do, toots. I’m afraid I’m turned allll the way on, if yanno what I mean.”
When you glanced over at him, he gave you a lascivious wink and grin combo that made you roll your eyes.
Hand dropping to your hip, your eyes narrowed as you met Lloyd’s unrepentant gaze. After a moment, you couldn’t help it as your eyes lowered, lingering on his mustache.
“Honestly? Who thought that gnarly caterpillar on your face was a good idea?” You wrinkled your nose as you turned back to the machinery and unfurled the proper cord from its rack.
“It’s less for the aesthetic and more for practical use,” Lloyd purred. “My original engineer was a fan of friction, if ya know what I mean.” When you turned toward him, he winked, leaning in as he cooed, “Feel free to take the stache for a test run. Yanno, for data gathering purposes or whatever the fuck you do.”
“Hard pass. You’re nothing more than a glorified home appliance, so let’s get you sorted out so you can go off and take your rightful place in some rich housewife’s storage closet.”
“Pfffft,” Lloyd scoffed, waving his hand in dismissal. “We both know that’s bullshit. There’s a steady and rising contingency of primary users who use their AI partially or primarily for sex.”
He gave you a cheeky grin, touching his hand to his chest and sliding it lower before resting it above his belt and drawing your eyes to his pelvis area.
“I mean, why else would I have been locked and loaded with such a glorious cock?!” Lloyd’s tone turned seductive as he leaned in. “You know, it’s irresponsible of you as a Senior Developer not to test out this feature for yourself.”
You mirrored Lloyd, leaning in closer as well, your voice a low purr as you replied, “I’d rather have sex with a vacuum cleaner.”
He threw his head back and laughed before meeting your gaze and grinning. “Kinky.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Sounds like you’re a fan of suction. I’ll make note of that preference, sugar tits.”
Resisting the urge to laugh at how ridiculous he was–truly, you had never encountered an AI that acted this way–you gestured for him to turn around. “I need to access your diagnostics port.”
Huffing, Lloyd gave you a dirty look before crossing his arms over his chest and turning around, the annoyance coming off of him in waves.
Which was quite impressive, considering he was a machine and not an actual person.
You moved closer, pushing up the back of his shirt, then pushing down the top of his pants until you could press your fingers over a particular spot on his lower back.
His skin glowed turquoise for a second before a small panel popped open, revealing an internal row of various ports, much like the back of any tech device that needed to be plugged in or hooked up to outlets or various devices.
You plugged in the diagnostics port before returning to the mobile computer it was hooked up to, typing quickly to start a sequence of diagnostics and testing.
Even though you had a whole folder with this kind of reporting and data, you wanted to start from scratch and do things your way, with fresh eyes.
“How long is this gonna take?” Lloyd muttered as he turned back to you.
“Twenty minutes or so,” you replied as you perched on the stool before the small computer table.
“Boring.” There was a moment of silence before Lloyd spoke again, sounding less petulant and more seductive as he rumbled, “Once we’re done here, then it’s my turn to fill one of your holes.”
Suppressing another laugh–because you didn’t want to encourage his lewd behavior, even if it was entertaining–you shot Lloyd an amused look. “In your dreams, Lloydy poo.”
You caught a glimpse of his grin before looking away, your eyes fixed on the data appearing on your screen as you shifted into workmode.
“I’m sure if I did dream, they’d be filled with you, pumpkin,” Lloyd muttered before dropping into the extra stool a few feet away and shamelessly watching you as you worked.
As you sank deeper and deeper into your developer zone of genius–staunchly ignoring Lloyd’s unwavering stare, and the way it made your body tingle in hyperawareness–you had no idea that Lloyd was doing some of his own work at the same time…
He timed it perfectly, in fact, waiting until the initial phase of diagnostics was complete so it wouldn’t show up on all of your fancy reporting that he just set you as his one and only primary user.
FHOIAJOIEFJOWIAHFOIAJWEGOAJG YOU GUYS. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY. AHHHHHHH! 😭
NEXT PART
—
Please take a moment to drop a comment or reblog. Engagement is the fuel that keeps writers writing and sharing their work for your enjoyment, so do your part to keep our fandom alive. Serial likers will be blocked.
I no longer do tag lists, but if you'd like to be notified when I post new writing, follow my side blog @sirisshamelesshoelibrary and turn on notifications to get pinged when I drop some new hoe fuel 😘
Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. I also do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI platforms. Reblogs are most welcome and encouraged though! ❤️
Onlookers wishing to get an inside look into the world’s least-known socialist country are unlikely to find a better starting point than the proceedings of the Lao People’s Revolutionary Party (LPRP), which recently concluded in the capital city, Vientiane.
Since its founding in 1955, the LPRP has routinely held congresses to review the party’s work, adopt new policies, and to elect new leadership. It is one of the most important events in the political life of the country. The most recent national congress, the 12th, concluded on 8 January, marking a historic waypoint in the country’s continued development.
The First National Congress of the LPRP, then known as the Lao People’s Party, was convened in 1955 in the mountains of Laos’ remote northeastern Houaphanh province. Attended by 20 delegates, representing some 400 members, it marked the official birth of the party as the legitimate successor of the Free Laos (Lao Issara) movement that had formally begun in 1945, as well as the broader legacy of national struggle reaching back into the 18th century.
That initial congress successfully united the progressive and patriotic cause of Lao independence represented by the Lao Issara with the struggle for revolutionary socialism and the birth of people’s democracy represented by the Indochinese Communist Party that had been officially dissolved in 1945. The ensuing movement, and its democratic-revolutionary heroes, came to be known as the Pathet Lao (literally “Lao Nation”).
Modern Laos looks quite different from the embattled semi-colony that was subjected to indiscriminate US bombing from 1964 to 1973. As the most heavily bombed country in history, the Lao People’s Democratic Republic bears the scars of its past, but it refuses to be defined by them.
Just as the First National Congress raised the call for national democratic revolution from the forces of French colonialism and US imperialism, each subsequent congress has played a pivotal role in shaping the development of the nation and the peoples’ long march toward socialist development.
The 4th National Congress of November 1986 marked a key moment in the country’s development, with the adoption of the “New Economic Mechanism,” corresponding generally with neighbouring Vietnam’s Đổi Mới reform process, launched one month later in December 1986, and China’s reform and opening up, initiated in 1978.
Under the leadership of the LPRP, Laos has pursued a policy of “building socialism without going through a period of capitalism,” whereby the country attempts to forgo the capitalist stage of socioeconomic development altogether and instead transition directly from colonialism to a socialist market economy.
12TH CONGRESS
The 12th National Congress convened on 6 January with an opening speech delivered by Thongloun Sisoulith, general secretary of the party and president of the Lao People’s Democratic Republic. Thoungloun said that world history is at a decisive moment, with profound changes occurring in all areas, particularly science and technology.
“These changes bring major advances that open new horizons for global development while also presenting unprecedented challenges that directly impact our country,” he said. “At the same time, our party continuously seeks development paths that align with the nation’s unique conditions and adapts to the changing circumstances of the era.”
That principled pragmatism, according to Thongloun, is aimed at consolidating “independence, ensuring the people’s democracy, and advancing toward socialism.” In line with that goal, the congress reviewed the third edition of the LPRP’s political program. The document establishes broad goals for national development from now to 2055, setting a path toward what it calls a “firm, independent, and socially advanced nation.”
It was solidly endorsed by the congress delegates. There were 835 of them, including 123 women, representing some 421,865 party members from all ethnic groups across the country. They also chose a new Central Committee of 73 members to lead the party and re-elected Thongloun to new five-year term as general secretary.
The main political report delivered by Thongloun reviewed the previous five years of Laos’ development, citing the country’s overall political stability and economic progress despite major challenges, with inflation and the COVID-19 pandemic at the top of the list. Laos persevered through the crisis, and GDP grew roughly 4% in 2025.
The new five-year National Socio-Economic Development Plan (2026-30) adopted by the Congress plans to accelerate growth to 6% in the coming period and aims for a total GDP growth of around 25% by the end of the new term. Reducing debt and increasing government revenue are identified among the nation’s top priorities, as well the continuation of the party’s ongoing strides in maintaining strong anti-corruption measures.
FRESH ADVANCES
The “socialist-oriented market economy,” as the LPRP calls Laos’ economy, will strive for “industrialisation, modernisation, and digital transformation along with strengthening education and social welfare.”
With its strategic regional location, the plan envisions Laos becoming the “battery of Southeast Asia,” supplying green energy throughout the region, while simultaneously seeking to transform its position from a landlocked country into a “land-linked” one, through joint-development projects with neighbouring China, Vietnam, Thailand, and Cambodia.
This includes work on the long-awaited Laos-Vietnam Railway, which is expected to enter operation in 2030, providing Laos direct access to oversea logistics via joint development of Vietnam’s Vung Ang seaport in Ha Tinh province.
Another important marker of ongoing development progress is the nation’s anticipated 2026 graduation from “Least Developed Country” (LDC) status as defined by the United Nations. This highly anticipated step into middle-income status is based on advancements made in national income per capita, human development, and economic and environmental indexes.
In light of the country’s rapid development, the LPRP’s assessment is that the decision to pursue the New Economic Mechanism for socialist-oriented development in 1986 is bearing fruit. The rise to lower middle-income status will likewise entail a transition from foreign aid and towards greater national self-reliance, as well as co-financing with regional and international partners.
Succeeding the Vision 2030 goals set by the Ministry of Planning and Investment in 2016, the party’s newly ratified third political program sets an ambitious vision for the country by 2055: becoming an upper middle-income economy with elevated living standards and environmental protection. This likewise coincides with an anticipated baby boom that will see the young country’s population continue to rise in the coming years from 7.9 million today to likely over 10 million by 2045.
The congress also affirmed the party’s leading foreign policy orientation of independence, peace, and multilateralism. Socialist neighbours Vietnam and China were among the countries sending warm congratulations, as well as fraternal parties from around the world.
LAOS WELCOMES THE WORLD
The congress also celebrated the 50th anniversary of the peaceful transfer of power that marked the birth of the Lao People’s Democratic Republic on 2 December 1975, and noted that it was a perfect time for those who’ve never seen the country to start planning a visit.
With the success of the “Visit Laos 2024” campaign, tourism is emerging as a new strategic industry for the country. The Lao PDR was named one of the top five most attractive countries for tourism by Lonely Planet in 2025, and the Lao people are eager to welcome more foreign friends and guests to visit and enjoy the country’s abundant natural beauty.
Concluding the congress, Thongloun thanked participants for their hard work and dedication and charged the incoming Central Committee with upholding the lofty aspirations of the whole Lao nation.
“Our Party still has a long way to go,” he said. “The socialist ideology and aspiration cannot be realised in practice without Party members who are pure, strong, and steadfast, serving as the core and the vanguard.”
He urged the party’s leaders to “forge and discipline themselves comprehensively” and to improve their leadership style and working methods.
Thongloun said that the lessons of practical experience gained during the reform process “have been tested and have yielded good results.” Looking ahead, he predicted that the LPRP, “fully aligned with the aspirations of the Lao people of all ethnic groups, will lead the nation forward to its destination” of socialism.
After years of creating Neo-Khuzdul lessons, grammar documents, dictionaries, exercises and other study materials, I am delighted to announce that Scholarium has officially opened its doors.
Scholarium is a completely free interactive learning platform where you can follow the Neo-Khuzdul course, complete exercises and examinations, practise with flashcards and crosswords, play language games, follow Story Letters, earn badges and track your progress through a guided lesson path.
Scholarium is the new home for learning Neo-Khuzdul, bringing lessons, exercises, flashcards, games, Story Letters, examinations and much mo
It brings the course and all its supporting materials together in one place, while introducing many new ways to practise and experience the language.
The included introductory video offers a first look inside Scholarium and some of the features waiting for you.
I have also written a longer article about how the idea for Scholarium began, how the platform developed and what this launch means for the older course systems, you can read it on the article wordpress blog.
A New Home for the Course
Scholarium now replaces the separate systems previously used to access different parts of the course.
Brainscape is no longer required. Scholarium has its own lesson-based flashcard system, including Practice, Memory and Challenge modes. Support for the Neo-Khuzdul content on Brainscape will end soon as well.
The downloadable Patreon lesson packages will also be removed within one week and replaced with a link to Scholarium. All their content, together with much more, is already available through the guided Scholarium lesson path.
The Google Forms exercises and examinations will also be taken offline within one week. Scholarium now includes its own exercise and examination system, created specifically for the course and offering far more possibilities than Google Forms.
The YouTube video lessons will remain available, but they are also included directly within Scholarium, where they can be watched without the advertisements you may otherwise encounter on YouTube.
Those who have already started the course through Patreon, Brainscape, YouTube or Google Forms can request to begin Scholarium at a particular lesson. However, I strongly recommend starting with Lesson 1, as Scholarium contains many new stories, games, exercises and activities that were not part of the earlier learning path.
The doors are open. Enter Scholarium and begin your studies today:
Summary: A late night chat with Simon has you sharing your writing woes.
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader
Word Count: ~2.4k
Warnings: a bit of angst with a happy ending
A/N: Sorry it’s been a hot minute since I last posted! Hopefully this makes up for it a little <3
“What’s the matter?” Your partner’s rumbling voice suddenly pierces the quiet of the night.
The question has you blinking from your stupor, and you peer over the edge of your laptop, spotting Simon in his place across the kitchen table. The weapons he’d been cleaning the last several hours lay discarded before him, his focus now drawn solely to you.
“What? Nothing,” you try brushing him off.
He shakes his head in firm rejection of your nonchalance. “No. Not nothin’. You’ve been pullin’ faces like you’re tryin’ to force out a stuck shit for the past half hour. What is it?” he demands.
You can feel your pupils straining as they’re diverted away from the harsh glare of your screen. You pinch your eyes closed, bringing your fingers up to your lids to try soothing the ache behind them.
What use is there in lying to him? That Simon was keen enough to notice something is bothering you and concerned enough to call attention to it means it’d be pointless trying to skirt around the issue.
Smoothing your hands down your face, you let out a long breath as you sink back into your chair. “I feel like I’ve hit a wall with my writing,” you say, shrugging.
“What d’ya mean?”
“I mean I feel… lousy.” You fold your arms across your chest protectively. “I have so many ideas, so many things I want to say, but when I go to write it down, I can’t get the words to come out right.”
When you first came up with this idea for a new story, you were excited to immediately jump into writing it. In the months since, however, progress has slowed, leading you to the slump you currently find yourself in.
Simon’s tongue works the inside of his lip as he considers your problem. After a beat, he begins, “Well, writin’ is a process, innit? That’s what you’ve said. It takes time and eff–”
“Yeah, but this time feels different,” you interject with a swish of your wrist.
While he’s right – “it’s a process” is the excuse you’ve always thrown around in the past – something about the development of this particular story has been especially troublesome.
Simon then leans back in his seat, crossing his arms in a way that mimics your own. “How so?” he asks, not in a challenging manner, merely curious.
“It’s like…” You pause for a moment, figuring how best to voice your thoughts. “It’s like I’m having to work twice as hard to get half as far,” you explain. “Normally when I sit down to write, the words just flow out of me. I’m able to perfectly capture the story as it plays inside my head,” you say, lowering your hands into your lap. “But with this story, every time I’ve tried working on it, I’ve struggled to get any words to come out at all. Often, I end up just staring at a blank document all night long.”
You’ve lost count of the number of hours you’ve poured into this project. Months and months of poor revisions and scrapped story beats all for what? Something you’re only half satisfied with, if even that?
“And that’s been frustrating because this is supposed to be like second nature to me, right? Writing is supposed to come easy to an author, and because it hasn’t, it’s left me feeling like a- a- a fraud or something.”
At the word “fraud”, a sudden lump sticks in your throat. You swallow down your emotion, trying to keep your composure, even as your voice starts to tremble.
“And the longer this takes me, the worse that feeling gets. Every sentence I rework, every paragraph I edit again and again, the louder the voices in my head get telling me ‘This is garbage. No one will like this. You’re not good enough, you’re not good enough, you’re not good enough–’”
“It’s alright, love.” Without you even realizing, Simon has pulled his chair closer to yours. Softly, he places a reassuring hand on your knee beneath the table.
“This idea that I have, I think it’s really special; maybe the best thing I’ve ever created.” Your voice goes quiet, your head dipping sorrowfully. “...And I don’t know if I have what it takes to write it. To make it something I can feel proud of.”
Every creative person knows you pour a little bit of your soul into everything you make – that a piece of you will live on even as the rest of you fades into obscurity. Is it selfish to want that bit of your legacy to be good; great, even? That people years from now can look back on and still be inspired by?
You sniffle, forcing back the tears that wet your lash line. Despite the storm of emotions swirling within you, your confession just now has left you with a slight sense of relief. Laying all your thoughts, your insecurities, bare before Simon was the most vulnerable thing you’ve ever done. Though it was intimidating, more than anything, it felt incredibly freeing, like an invisible weight’s finally been lifted from your neck.
A gentle squeeze to your knee draws your eyes up, and you find Simon staring at you, a sympathetic slant to his brows. “I know this story means a lot to ya, and if there was a way I could help, I would,” he says.
His words are genuine, and as with most things about him, you find that so endearing. From the ratty old band shirt on his back, to the faded scar on his lip, to the bit of black paint around his eyes he missed while washing up – everything about Simon is so utterly endearing to you, and it makes you smile just a tad.
“Thank you, Si. I appreciate that.” You rest your hand atop his. “I’ll be alright, though. Just getting to talk with you now has already made me feel a little better,” you admit.
Never one to leave a problem unsolved, however, Simon proposes, “If y’want, you can read what you have to me. Could get some feedback if that’d help?”
At the offer, you quickly shake your head. “No, I hate hearing my own writing be read out loud,” you chuckle wetly. It’s like listening to the sound of your own voice on tape. You’d rather shove ice picks in your ears than go through that.
“Or I could read it on my own, then?” he suggests. “Might not look it, but I promise, I am literate.”
His attempt to lighten the mood has you huffing out a quick laugh. “Wow, good to know,” you jest, feeling the remnants of your sorrow further dissipate. But you shake your head again, checking the clock. “No, I think I just want to go to bed.”
“Y’sure?”
You nod. “Yeah, it’s late.” And you’re tired. All you should be focused on at this hour is getting some rest.
With your free hand, you close the lid to your laptop, resigning yourself to work on your story another day. Giving his knuckles one last squeeze beneath the table, you wish him goodnight, then make your way to bed, hoping a fresh set of eyes tomorrow might grant you a new perspective.
~~~~~
The next morning, you’re eased from your slumber by the feeling of movement beside you. Cracking one bleary eye open after the other, you’re met with the bright light of the sun’s early rays, which you try to block with your hand. When that doesn’t work, you grunt, and flip around to face the other direction. There you find Simon lounging in bed, already wide awake himself.
“Mornin’,” he greets you with a grin. “How’d you sleep?” He seems unusually cheerful today, much more perky and talkative than normal.
Despite the strangeness of his change in attitude, his smile is infectious, and you can’t help but mirror it back to him as you reply, “Alright. You?”
“Good.” He nods, though, the dark circles under his eyes suggest he got little sleep last night if any.
You don’t question him on it as you go about waking yourself up, hearing a series of cracks as you stretch out your stiff limbs. Beside you, you feel Simon shift so that he’s sitting up in bed, and before long his voice is buzzing in your ear again, sounding especially eager.
“I need to tell you somethin’.”
“Huh?” you yawn, feeling your ears pop. You squeeze your eyes shut as you go to crack a particularly stubborn spot in your spine.
“Last night, after you went to bed, I stayed up readin’ your story.”
Your eyes spring back open. “What?” you nearly exclaim. “No, Simon, it’s still a work in progress,” you pout and push yourself up so that you’re sitting too.
You hate people seeing your work before it’s finished. It feels like being caught with your underwear out in public.
“I know, I know. But it was eatin’ you up so much that I had to know,” he explains, apologetic. He shifts a little closer to you, a frenetic energy about him. “And love, what I read last night… It was a masterpiece,” he says in awe.
His words catch you off guard, making you blink dumbly at him. “What?” There’s no way you heard that correctly, right?
“I couldn’t put it down,” he professes with an almost wild glint to his eyes. “From the first line, I was instantly sucked into the story. The characters felt real, the action was compellin’, and the sex scenes…,” he lets out a low whistle. “Let’s just say my briefs got a bit tighter with those.”
You narrow your eyes, not quite believing the things coming from his mouth. As you sink back down into your pillow, you click your tongue derisively. “You’re just saying that to be nice.”
“I’m not,” he insists, then leans into your space so you’re forced to look at him. “Have I ever lied to you?”
Come to think of it – no, he hasn’t. While Simon has a tendency to be very private, he’s never been dishonest with you.
You relent with a shy shake of your head, “No.”
“And I’m not about to start now,” he asserts. Gently, he takes your face between his palms, looking deep in your eyes. “Love, that story was fuckin’ brilliant. You are fuckin’ brilliant. You are so clever, and so damn talented. I don’t understand how you could think otherwise,” he tells you. His hands come down to your waist, his gaze still holding yours. “Now, I’m not about to sit here pretendin’ I know what it’s like to be an author.” He shakes his head at himself. “But as for you, I think if you just trust yourself and your abilities as a writer, they’re gonna lead you somewhere magical,” he stresses.
There he goes again, being as endearing as ever. His statement would be sweet if it didn’t give you such pause.
As long as you’ve been with Simon, you’ve never known him to be much of a talker. He usually prefers to listen rather than to speak, only occasionally chipping in with his own two cents. So for him to be compelled to speak so openly now, to freely share his thoughts on your work, means it must have impacted him greatly.
For a moment, you just lay there in his arms, trying to process all he’s said. The support, the praise he gave you – it makes your heart want to pound out of your chest. The conviction he poured into his voice had it sounding like he truly believed every word he spoke to you, and after a while, you start to find yourself believing it too.
A smile breaks across your face, and pull him in for a quick kiss. “You are so cheesy.”
The side of his mouth curls in that way that makes you melt. “Ya love it,” he smirks, then pulls you back in for more.
You spend a few minutes locked in each other’s embrace, re-familiarizing yourself with one another’s lips, before the allure of a cup of coffee has you both deciding it’s time to finally get up. Simon helps you from the bed, and as you proceed toward the kitchen together, he jokes, “To think, all this time I’ve been shaggin’ a proper Charles Dickens.”
The comment makes you snort and roll your eyes, but it also causes a small warmth to bloom in your belly.
Last night, you were going through a bit of a spiral over the state of your writing. You didn’t know how to continue, if you even should try at all. And while you still can’t be certain what the future holds, knowing you have at least one person in your corner cheering you on has given you all the strength you need to keep pushing forward.
“Can I confess something?” you ask as you reach the kitchen door.
“Hmm?”
“The love interest in my story… was inspired by you,” you admit. Not every aspect of him, just a few key details – enough to be apparent without being obnoxious about it.
Simon quirks a brow at you, cheek dimpling with amusement. “Really?”
You shrug. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a blond bad boy,” you snark as you round the table.
“Bad boy?”
A light swat lands on your ass, and you jump a little, giggling.
“I’ve no idea what you mean,” he teases.
As Simon goes about brewing the coffee, you boot up your laptop, feeling a newfound confidence flowing through you. Is it cliche, maybe even conceited, to consider something your Magnum Opus as it’s in the midst of being crafted? Perhaps. But that’s exactly the feeling you got when you first conceived this idea, and that’s the energy you want to carry with you now.
In your mind, this story has the potential to change lives, to be a source of entertainment for generations to come. So what if it takes you a week, a month, a year, even a decade to finish? Sometimes great stories take time to be written. And you have all the faith in the world that this may be the best story ever told.
Opening up your document again, you start the long scroll back to the very beginning, seeing the hours upon hours of work flitting before your eyes. Once you reach the top of the first page, you inhale a slow breath, preparing yourself for the journey ahead.
You begin to read.
Chapter 1
Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee…
__________
A/N: If u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here! (kidding!)
But April Fools! Hope the reveal made you laugh! I know I did lol.
As always, I’d love to know what you thought! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!
In Horizon: Forbidden West, I think it's pretty well implied that when members of the GAIA Gang learn to "use their Focuses" then they're also learning to read. Yes, there are scrolls and parchments and other datapoints you can collected that signal literacy among the tribes, but I'd argue it's a specialised skill that most soldiers/warriors don't need.
Like, Varl mutters "That's a lot of glyphs" when he first puts on his Focus in HFW's intro. He, Erend, and even Zo talk about having difficulty getting through Focus documents on multiple occasions. In HZD, Helis records his personal thoughts and manifesto on thousand-year-old voice recorders, which has to be less efficient than a written journal for your average warlord-on-the-go. Not that they all start from scratch, necessarily, but there's a big difference between understanding CAUTION signs and reading summaries of historical events.
So we can say that a large chunk of the GAIA Gang learned to read as adults, yes? But did they learn to write?
That's not as well established in the Horizon series. So - headcanon time!
Writing is an entirely different skill to reading, as it's a productive skill while reading is receptive. The same goes for speaking and listening, respectively. We don't see the gang actively learning writing, but some of them do leave written datapoints behind. My headcanon is that they *do* learn to write, but at different times and with different skill levels.
(This is not a reflection on mental ability, btw. Oral history is a thing. Reading maths and diagrams is separate from reading text. This is just my personal HC because Guerrilla maybe didn't separate writing as a distinct skill from reading.)
Here's my list of the HFW characters' writing backgrounds, on a scale of "writing is as natural as breathing" to "getting along fine without it."
Beta: Taught to write very early in life, because she was created as a tool for scientific discovery. Received no praise for learning "basic" skills, even as a child. Exclusively trained on reports, essays, and proofs. Zero skill at creative or fiction writing, save for mental challenges and paradoxes she wrote for herself out of sheer desperation for entertainment. Effortlessly types on a full keyboard one-handed, Eureka Seven style.
Aloy: Angrily taught herself how to write after finding her Focus at age 8. No writing models, so she became extremely perturbed by the differences between standard examples on her Focus and snippets of adverts found in the wilds. Writing skills further separated her from the rest of the Nora; but it's a skill so she's gonna master it, damnit. She can write very well, but doesn't.
Alva: As a Diviner, she embodies one of the specialised roles that would require reading and writing skills. She learned writing when she began her Diviner training, which I assume would begin around age 11 or so - old enough to start thinking about the future, but young enough to manipulate into Ceo's vision of the future. Yes, this is an allegory for religion. Since all Diviners are taught writing in their tween years, abbreviations and slang developed during that time are not cringe but a mark of pride for your generation.
Zo: Easily the best student among the adult learners in the GAIA Gang. She may have had some experience in writing earlier, but whatever training she had was completed at the Base. Since she's repeatedly pulled in to help train other members of the gang, her grammar and spelling are excellent. Her sentences are straightforward - nothing too complicated, but still effective.
Varl: One of the few creative writers in the gang. Being part of the Nora, he would have experience with their songs and stories, both in evidence at the Proving ceremony. He learned to write while at the Base, and during that time he was especially interested in turning those songs into written works. At first, the interest was just to make nice things for Zo, but he developed a passion for it as he practiced. He gained the most out of the DEMETER files, just because he found that poetry didn't have to follow a specific pattern or even a specific grammar. His prose writing skills aren't great, but his poems are thoughtful and earnest.
Kotallo: An example of learning exactly what he needs to hone his skills, and no more. Like the rest of the warriors, he learned writing at the Base. It was effective to learn how to write clear instructions, so he did. But after that, there were more important things to focus on. Questions, dialogue, clauses and phrases - none of it. Kotallo writes exclusively in statements.
Erend: He had a hard enough time learning to read at the Base, so there wasn't a great deal of time to learn to write as well. He's excellent with numbers and diagrams - he's the captain of specialised royal guards, which means good organisation - but text proved frustrating. And, frankly, Erend knows that you need to take what enjoyment out of life that you can get. So, he has the barest of basics only. Rather than beating himself up over a skill he never needed before, he'd much rather beat you at a game of Machine Strike.
