#chaosarchive

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

Overstimulated Konig but like not sexual

Overstimulated Konig who just wants to sit on the couch with you in his lap cuddling completely innocently(for real though) while he calms down

Overstimulated Konig who uses you as a weighted blanket but your not heavy enough so he hugs you so tightly your ribs r prolly bruised

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

Your favorite scented shampoo going missing suspiciously close to the time Your boyfriend Konig leaves for deployment...

You of course interrogate him when he gets back, he hangs his head in shame, unable to meet your gaze, you hand on your hips...

He replies with a soft "Reminds me of you,"

The next time he goes to steal your shampoo, he finds two of the larger bottles instead of the one medium size you usually get, one with a little crown doodled on it.

All for him

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

Konigs got a stutter. Nothing crazy, but it's still there.

He was made fun of for it and all when he was a kid.

He can fight through it at work and all, because he knows what he has to say.

But in everyday situations? Like ordering food? He occasionally gets angry teary-eyed trying to force the words out

goddammit he just wants a fuckin cheeseburger

But when you come into his life all patient with him?

Big man giggles

You're one of the only people to make him feel comfortable that makes him want to talk

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

Horangi HAS walked in on König and his daughter playing princess tea party in his office when his wife was busy and he had to watch her.

König is now officially known as pretty princess when in Horangi's presence.

And for once he feels no shame.

Because his Kleine Hummel (lil bumblebee) is that important to him. He'd walk onto base in a hot pink ball gown if she asked.

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

Simon needs squeezies

Bro is clearly touch starved... Never in a million thousand years could you ever hug him too hard, flop on top of him in bed to hard nothing, he just wants pressure❤️❤️

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

MINORS DNI

In my opinion, what with his anxiety and all, Konig would be absolutely terrible at asking for sex. let alone your help with the monster in his pants his needs.

He'd be standing there in the doorway fidgeting. silently hyping himself up to ask you

But what if asking that makes it weird

He'd open and close his mouth so many times.

He knows exactly what to say but every time he opens his mouth, it just won't come out

He'd resort to the saddest of loser tactics.

Arm around the shoulders

But even that would take hours to hype himself up for.

Goddammit just touch your fuckin partner Konig

But what our precious lil angel doesn't realize is that his partner is really good at reading him.

You have to be to date this guy.

So one night while you two are watching a movie, you notice his eyes darting from you to his hands. Body squirming closer to you.

You wrap your arms around his slutty waist. Rubbing your hands over the healthy chub of his stomach, getting closer and closer to where he wants you.

You meet his eyes for confirmation before continuing. His eyes watery from finally blinking after staring at you for so long without blinking.

finally you undo his belt. And give the poor man relief.

Pausing the show because doing it while it's still playing will corrupt it

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

So. Hear me out, Konig can't sit still yes?

König with a crocheter/knitter S/O.

You eventually convince Konig to join you, but he's all nervous that his shaky hands will mess it up.

But he perseveres nonetheless.

Six months later he hands you the ugliest crochet blanket you've ever seen. The stitches are all uneven, some rows are somehow longer than the other it looks more like an uneven polygon than a square.

How the hell'd he manage that?

and he quickly ran out of the color he was using and substituted it for a new color every time he ran out of one.

It won't matter if I change the color mid row will it?

But goddammit that nervous look in his eyes when he presents to you his creation. All constructive criticism leaves your thoughts.

You fall asleep under that blanket for the rest of its life

Cue Konig staying up for hours practicing his crocheting because he saw that "Oh my god it's so ugly Oh Dear" look in your eyes despite the smile on your face.

[notsomellowarchiveofchaos]

König- Snorting when you laugh

Masterlist

Definitely wasn't vibing to Pink pony Club on MAX volume while writing this...

0% Judgement. finds it the Cutest thing ever. He also snorts when he laughs.

“Auwa!” König yelped, rubbing his nose. Your poor husband had gotten stuck in the middle of an intense battle between your two cats. One of them ended up scratching his cheek, and the second cat nipped his nose. His sad, down-turned eyes met yours, shining with laughter, as he scolded the two cats and you burst into laughter.

“Maus...” he whined as you snorted and giggled, “es ist nicht funny.” he fought to keep a straight face as you laugh. You rolled your eyes shoulders still shaking with laughter as you took his uninjured hand and guided him to the Bathroom. sitting him on the toilet.

you opened the cabinet and grabbed the first aid kit, breaking into more laughter when you see your husband glaring at the cat sitting at his feet. “Winziger stinkender Bastard-Mann {tiny stinky bastard man}” he grumbles, not looking away from the cat who licks his paw and mews at him. The both of them ignoring your laughter, until you shoo the cat out of the bathroom.

“go on now, I have to take care of my own Winziger stinkender Bastard-Mann,” you grinned. König gasped incredulously at that. as you rubbed anti-biotic cream over his cuts and bandaged him up and kissed his nose

I also need yall to appreciate what I discovered while trying to figure out how to spell auwa