𝖢𝖠𝖳𝖠𝖫𝖮𝖴𝖦𝖤 song. falling in reverse
ongoing | (rival) chenle & (fem) reader social media au with written (✎) portions rom-com enemies to lovers one night stand gone wrong | cursing sexual humor / innuendos dark humor (kys jokes) main plot revolves around the topic of sex and excessive drinking nothing explicit for now ─ additional tags included with each chapter
𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇 :)
PROFILES. ☆
NIGHT 1. morning after ✎
NIGHT 2. the devil you know ✎
NIGHT 3. three's a crowd ✎
𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝖺𝗀 for everything not what it seems adjacent!
summary: in which you felt fed up with chenle and walked out after a fight, but you were uncertain whether he’d make an effort to save your relationship.
pairing: chenle x fem!reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: 2.1k
you were having an argument with chenle. you tried to tell him that you felt a little uneasy about one of his female friends, but he downplayed your emotions and it irked you.
"don't you think you're being unfair?" you asked, frustration evident in your voice. "you're allowed to be jealous of every single person you think is hitting on me, but i'm not even allowed to feel upset that you have a close friend who obviously likes you?"
chenle responded dismissively. "it doesn't matter if someone likes me. all my friends know i'm head over heels for you. besides, none of my friends have openly told me they like me. i can't say the same to you and your so-called guy friends."
"i already rejected him," you countered, your voice rising. "how many times do i have to tell you that?"
"it doesn't look like you did because he's obviously still expecting something from you." he retorted, crossing his arms.
"i don't know how else to convince you. why do you always do this? every time i try to tell you how i feel, you always find a way to somehow turn it around on me, and it ends with you feeling more upset than i am."
"look, you don't need to worry about me. i couldn't care less about anyone who might like me. but you? you're too soft with that friend of yours. you might not see it, but it's obvious to everyone else how he hangs all over you. and you're not doing enough to stop it."
"but i don't like him, i never did and i never will. you also have nothing to worry about. why can't you let it go?"
chenle sighed, his eyes narrowing. "the same reason you can't let go of your concerns about my friend. no matter what i say, you're still upset and you're still jealous. that's exactly how i feel."
"so what do you want me to do?" you asked, exasperated.
"nothing. you can't do what i want."
"you want me to stop being friends with him? is that it?" you asked, incredulous. "will you do it for me if i ask you the same thing?" you challenged him. but chenle didn't respond; he just rolled his eyes and turned his back on you.
you felt so pissed off. chenle was always so unfair to you whenever you had a fight. you almost screamed at him to get out, but then you remembered you were at his house. you grabbed your things and turned to the door. you were about to leave when you heard chenle's voice.
"you're leaving because of something so petty? seriously?" he said with a scoff.
you gave him a dirty look, your hand on the doorknob. "you were about to storm off to your room and shut me out anyway. we obviously don't want to see each other right now, so what's the point of me staying?" you didn't wait for him to respond. you immediately left, slamming the door behind you.
you knew you were being immature, but so was chenle. you weren't about to let him slam the door on you again, making you feel shitty and guilty, when he clearly didn't feel the same remorse. somehow, even when the fight was his fault, you always ended up being the first one to apologize. that made your stomach churn with resentment.
you weren't always like this. during the first few months of your relationship, you and chenle rarely fought. even when you did, they were just small arguments and you would always make up immediately. but now, almost two years into the relationship, after the honeymoon phase had worn off, things had changed dramatically. you started getting into more frequent and intense fights, and the tolerance and understanding that you had at the start had also faded.
honestly, part of the reason why you're always the first one to give in is that, no matter how angry you get at your boyfriend, you can never stay mad at him for long. you fear that if both of you remain stubborn and no one's going to swallow their pride, the fight would escalate and break the two of you apart. chenle, on the other hand, always seems to have no problem ignoring you for a long time. it only intensifies your frustration and hurt, making you feel even more upset with him than you already are.
you've decided you won't give in this time, no matter what. you're scared that he might do the same, matching your stubbornness with his own. but if he can't even swallow his pride for you, the person he claims to love most, then maybe you're better off apart.
you don't want that though — not really. your relationship, despite its flaws, means too much to you. you just hope he does things differently this time.
after leaving chenle's house, you returned to your own place. you tried to sleep, but your anger and frustration had morphed into a gnawing worry that made your stomach tied up in knots. deep down, you weren't confident that he would do right by you this time. the realization made you feel conflicted. is it really worth staying with him if this is how he consistently makes you feel?
the thought sent a wave of sadness through you. despite everything, you loved him deeply. the idea of your relationship ending made your chest tighten with fear. you didn't want this to be the final straw.
tears welled up in your eyes, spilling over onto your pillow. as you cried silently in your room, a mix of emotions washed over you; love, frustration, hope and disappointment all tangled together. eventually, exhaustion took over, and you drifted off into a fitful sleep.
your last conscious thought was a small hope that when you woke up in the morning, you'd see his name on the screen accompanied by an apology you'd been waiting for.
chenle sat by the sofa, his eyes fixed on his phone, waiting for your call. since you had walked out after your fight the night before, you still hadn't come knocking on his door. this was the first time you hadn't talked for this long after an argument. fear started creeping up because of the prolonged silence from you. his chest tightened at the thought that you might have finally decided you'd had enough of him and realized you deserved better. he couldn't bear the thought of losing you. as the day was coming to an end, the setting sun cast long shadows across his room, signaling the passage of time and deepening his anxiety.
he could no longer sit still and wait for you to come to him. what was stopping him from coming after you anyway? he didn't know. but he realized he had been selfish for always waiting for you to mend things all this time. chenle felt like he could lose you easily to other people; you were surrounded by many who liked you and wanted to be with you. because of that, he always felt threatened. letting you come to him first after a fight somehow gave him a sense of security that you loved him enough not to let others steal you away from him.
but he realized now how dumb that was. instead, he could end up losing you because of his inaction. he snapped out of his reverie and grabbed his car keys, walking hastily through the door.
you heard someone ring your doorbell, and you checked to see who it was. your heart leaped in both happiness and relief at the sight of chenle standing outside your door.
if you weren't in a fight with him, you would laugh at how ridiculous he looked wearing sunglasses. you were pretty sure the sun had already set and it was dark outside.
you were feeling different kinds of emotions as you stood there. relief that he had come, nervousness about what he might say, and a stubborn remnant of hurt from your fight. you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for whatever was to come as you opened the door, finally seeing him up close.
"can i come in?" chenle asked quietly. you didn't respond verbally, but opened the door wider, allowing him to enter.
you closed the door slowly before turning around to face him. chenle stood in the middle of your living room, looking uncharacteristically uncertain.
you leaned back against the door, arms crossed protectively over your chest, waiting expectantly for him to speak.
"i'm sorry," he said, his voice was soft and sounded a bit tired. "i'm sorry about everything. i was only thinking about myself and took your words lightly. i kept dismissing your feelings because i was blinded by my own jealousy. i didn't realize i was hurting you." he stepped closer, gently cradling your face in his hands. "please, forgive me. i don't want to lose you over some stupid fight. i know i haven't been the best at showing it, but i love you so much."
his words caused tears to well up in your eyes. for the past 24 hours, you had felt an uncomfortable tightness in your chest, each second away from him making you fear you were closer to losing him. you knew you both had much to discuss, and the way you communicated with each other needed improvement. but at that moment, you felt a surge of relief knowing that despite all the fights, chenle still loved you.
"thank you for coming to me, and i'm sorry too," you said, holding the hand that was caressing your face. "i have so many things to say... but first, can i take off your sunglasses? they're distracting." as you removed them, you felt your heart clenched at the sight. chenle's eyes were red and puffy, evidence of hours spent crying. the thought of him crying by himself made your sadness deepen, triggering your own tears as you immediately embraced him. "i'm so sorry for leaving you alone last night."
you didn't usually walk out during your fights, and your departure likely made chenle realize that this argument was unlike any other. he must have thought you had reached your limit. you now understood the depth of his fear of losing you, mirroring your own fear of losing him.
chenle encircled you in his arms, resting his head on your shoulder and burying his face in the crook of your neck. his embrace conveyed how much he had missed you.
"no, i am sorry. i deserved it," he murmured against your skin. "if you hadn't left, i probably would've done the same thing as before and not realized what i'd done wrong. you've been patient with me all this time. i'm sorry for all the times i ignored how you feel. i'll be better for you, i promise." he said, pressing a tender kiss on your forehead.
as you stood there in each other's arms, you both silently acknowledged the work ahead to strengthen your relationship. the warmth of your reconciliation filled the room, replacing the tension that had hung between you just moments before.
you and chenle were now cuddling on your bed. your chin rested on top of his head while gently running your fingers through his hair. the simple gesture made his heart flutter. his arm draped comfortably around your waist as he nestled against you, closing his eyes and basking in the peaceful aftermath.
as you lay there, feeling warm and loved, you felt so relieved. the tension from your fight completely melted away, and you felt even more in love.
chenle shifted slightly, tilting his head to look up at you. "i think i've figured out the secret to never fighting again."
you raised an eyebrow. "huh? what's that?"
"we just stay like this forever." he replied with a grin. "can't argue if we're too busy cuddling."
"tempting offer, but we'll get hungry eventually." chenle pretended to consider this seriously.
"then we take turns getting snacks while the other one guards the cuddle spot."
"guard it from what exactly?" he shrugged, snuggling closer.
"i don't know. cuddle thieves? it's a very coveted position, you know." you rolled your eyes in amusement.
"you're ridiculous."
"yeah," he leaned up to place a gentle kiss on your lips. "but you love me." he whispered against your mouth. you couldn't help but smile and steal another kiss from him.
as you snuggled back together, you felt calm and happy. in that moment, holding each other close, you both silently promised to stick together. you knew your love hadn't just survived, it had grown even stronger.
⸃ ⸰ ⌁ chenle getting horny after you stumble across a nude photo of yourself ヾ
boyfriend!chenle・ reader g ・ smut cw ・fucking while he has underwear on, dry humping, dirty talk wc ・ 0.6k | click to library
request. he's laying with yn and he's the big spoon, chenle grinding on yn, both with clothes on he then takes yn's clothes off but he stays in underwear, and start to fuck her through his boxers…
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope you like it <3 !!!
scrolling through your phone while his chest was pressed against your back, hands wrapping around your waist as he watched your phone. “when did you take this?”
you chuckled at the photo you took of him knocked out drunk on your couch. “you looked so cute.” you smiled. “i almost choked on my own tongue that night but im glad you think i looked cute.” you rolled your eyes, quickly moving on to the next photo. “see happy? you no longer have to see it.” he was in shock at the photo in front of him; a nude photo you took of yourself just because. “i don’t have this one , why don’t i have this one?” he stared down at the photo.
“because this one's for me and me only.” you said. “any nudes you take should definitely be run by me.” he said, he could feel his cock hardening in his pants. “fuck you look good, how many nudes have you got hidden from me?” his hands tightening on your waist as you pressed the secret album. “a whole album dedicated to your gatekept nudes.” he said. “im hurt.”
“you don’t seem hurt , you’re currently grinding against me and you’re hard.” his hand came up to your boob squeezing it. “chenle.” you sighed, letting him grind against you, your panties becoming soaked. “fuck.” he groaned , the feeling of his underwear being wet by his precum. “chenle just fuck me already.”
he slapped your ass, you yelped as his hand hit your bum. “so greedy girl.” he pulled your shorts down. “you kept those pretty pictures from me, now you’re talking back and being impatient.” he let out a tsk sound with his mouth, pulling your panties down as well , throwing them to the floor. “should punish you for real.”
you could feel the softness of his underwear against your cunt, you moaned in delight, phone dropping next to your pillow as you tilted your head back. “ta-take your clothes off le.” you stuttered ready to turn and face him, but he stopped you. “no face that way.” he said, hands on your back pushing you into a arch on your side. “don’t worry im gonna fuck you.”
you were confused, until you felt his clothes cock entering you despite him still having his underwear on. “oh wait fuck chenle.” you moaned out, the fabric slowly being pushed inside of you. “fuck this feels good.” he moaned, fully seething himself inside you. “fu-fuck why does this feel so good.” he slowly pulled out, thrusting himself back inside you.
the feeling of his underwear being inside you was something different, but not uncomfortable; you were mostly focused of his fat cock working its way in and out of your hole, dragging along your walls. “yo-you like this baby? so nasty baby.” you nodded. “so-so fucking much chen.” he fingers today with your nipples. “fuck le im gonna cum.”
he began to speed up, your ass slapping against him. “fuck fuck princess , im gonna cum.” he moaned. “gonna fucking cum.” you bit down on your neck. “fuck me too.” his hands coming down to your bud— rubbing your clit. “cum with me baby , want you to cum with me.” you let out a pornographic moan as you came, clamping down on his cock. he let out a hiss as his cock twitched and he came inside of his boxer. “shit.” he cursed, it was so different cumminginside a condom. or even cumming inside you which he normally did.
he pulled out of you, his boxers covered in your orgasm. “fuck lay on your back.” he finally rid himself of his boxers, cock still hard. “sh-shit.” he stuttered, stroking his length, positioning it at your hole. “still so fucking horny.” you felt the warmness of your cunt. “fuck , chenle!”
Pairing: Chenle x reader
Description: You'd be lying if you said feelings weren't caught within the thirteen years of friendship you had with Chenle, but even when you both wanted to be more, you agreed to shut any idea of it down - his future marriage was already arranged as part of a business deal, there was no point setting your hearts up for breaking. So, why is he on your doorstep begging for a chance just three months before he has to go back to China?
Content warnings: Arranged marriage au but not with each other; rich kid Chenle; swearing; they have sex, and while no actual smut is written, it’s not exactly glossed over, either; fluff; angst; there is no happy ending to this part but there is in the second one
Word count: 16,362
A/n: If you knew how long I’ve been working on this idea, you wouldn’t believe me…but now that this first part is out I’m actually really happy with how it’s come together. Posting this today to celebrate @fullsunstrawberry's last day of class for the semester!!…though this ends in angst so it’s not the best gift I’ve ever come up with 🫠 Anyways, please enjoy, though who am I to tell you what to do…as always, feedback would be greatly appreciated. Take care of yourselves, I love you
Read part two here!
Your childhood went by too fast. Though, you assume that’s the only way it could feel when it’s the sole marker of the time you were able to have with Chenle. The two of you grew up together, but through conversations you felt you were too young to be involved in, you both knew that you wouldn’t be able to continue with said friendship in adulthood. The thing about Chenle was, he’s lived with his aunt, right across the street from your parents, in a small Korean suburb since he was five years old. However, where he spent the first four years of his life, and where he would eventually be summoned back to, was with his parents in Shanghai.
There was nothing wrong about his parents. In fact, for most of childhood, Chenle only had positive things to say about them, a wide smile adorning his face whenever he thought of seeing them again. The entire reason he was living with his aunt was because his parents wanted him to experience a normal childhood, so really, they had his best interest at heart. That being said, they did not care about whether or not Chenle would have a normal adulthood. Instead, they were waiting for him to fall in line, learn how to eventually take over their multimillion dollar company, and with that, play his part…and accept the fact that his future marriage, to the daughter of one of their business partners, has been arranged for him since the moment he was born. Finding this out, Chenle no longer had loads of nice things to say about his parents. He lived with a constant resentment towards them since the start of high school, but you were always his one beacon of comfort, where the weight of his future could fall off his shoulders and he could just be a kid again for a little while longer.
It was the summer before freshman year of high school when your parents and his aunt sat the two of you down at the dinner table and explained how Chenle’s future was going to pan out. You were just fourteen years old, having Chenle suddenly upset and arguing about who he’d be marrying felt so wrong, the problem seemingly so far away. You were kids, but because of that moment, you both grew up too quickly - Chenle by force, and you because you refused to let him go through it alone. The real world, outside of school and pickup basketball games in someone’s driveway, now weighed heavily on the two of you, and the only thing you could promise was that you’d navigate as much of it as you could together.
The one thing his parents agreed to compromise on was that, rather than having Chenle fly back immediately after high school graduation, he could stick through that last summer with you, and eventually head back to China when you left for university. That’s the exact period of time that the two of you were in now - almost a full three months where the plans that have been talked about for years were now facing you head on. Stupidly, you try to forget about it, pretend it was just some normal summer, like your best friend wasn’t being ripped away from you at the end of it. You were setting yourself up to be blindsided by the inevitable passage of time, but it was all you could think to do if you wanted to hold onto any chance at smiling this summer.
It was the day right after graduation when Chenle hopped across the street and rang your doorbell. It was the middle of the day, your parents still at work, so you had to be the one to slide off the couch and check who was at the door. Normally, Chenle would text you before he came over, and you would have the door already unlocked for his arrival so that he could just barge in and join you on the couch…or immediately grab your wrist, drag you through the kitchen for two glasses of lemonade, and then out the back door for another basketball match. The last thing you expected him to do was ring the doorbell out of nowhere, but more confusingly, when you open the front door to face him, he’s pacing back and forth. His mind seemed to be going a hundred miles a minute, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look this distraught before.
“Chenle?” You prompt, tilting your head at him still making circles in your front walkway. He snaps his head up and stops moving, seeming not to have heard you actually open the door yet and instead leaving him to get surprised by your voice. As he takes in your bewildered state, he does his best to calm himself, correctly assuming he was the reason for it.
Now, his body faces you full-on, but he still can’t meet your eyes, instead looking towards the ground and sucking on his bottom lip as he figures out what he wants to say. Eventually, he gives up, shaking his head and bringing his gaze up to you with an agitated sigh. “Any way I put this, I come off as an asshole, so please forgive me,” he finally says all at once.
You furrow your brows at him in confusion, your return question bearing a much lighter tone than his own. “What’s up, Chenle?”
He darts his gaze off to the side, biting on his bottom lip again. Though, this contemplation period hardly lasted a second before he’s dropping his head and spitting out his words through one rushed exhale. “Can I be selfish for one summer? Before you go to college? Before I move back to my parents' house? I know we both agreed to be smart enough not to get involved…but before I have to be someone else’s, I want to be yours - even if it’s just for one summer.”
To say you were thrown off was an understatement, but not necessarily because of his confession. It was no secret the two of you developed feelings for each other. Your parents knew it, his aunt knew it, you knew it, he knew it - there was no use in pretending said feelings didn’t exist. However, being sixteen with those feelings and knowing what you had since you were fourteen made the situation less than average.
You and Chenle decided the best thing you could do was flesh everything out. So, one random day of sophomore year, you did. An entire evening kicking yourselves for catching feelings, laughing at the fact that it seemed inevitable, and then deciding that the best course of action now was to try and forget about it. You were not the daughter of his wealthy parents’ wealthy business partner, and the two of you quickly learned that there was no changing his parents’ minds on the arranged marriage. There was no reason to try and pretend an outcome could exist where the two of you could work, where you wouldn’t get hurt. It was both, a pro and a con of being forced to grow up - dumb decisions that your childhood was waiting for you to make were never made, and it was so hard to tell which dumb decisions you actually missed out on.
Chenle was right, the two of you agreed to be smart enough to not get involved, but a part of you was mad that you never took the chance to be a stupid high school kid. It seemed entirely out of left field for Chenle to address the situation again just three months before the beginning of the rest of your lives kicked in, but you’re glad he did.
“One summer for us to make some stupid decisions and break our own hearts?” You echo back, and any trace of hope on Chenle’s face fades away. That is, until you look back at him with a smirk, leaning against your doorframe casually. “Yeah, what the hell. Let’s do it,” you say, and when Chenle whips his head back up to face you in surprise, you can’t stop your smirk from turning into a full smile.
Chenle shakes his head quickly, as though to get rid of all the thoughts on how to respond to a refusal that never came, and instead an easy smile reaches his own face as he looks back at you. “Great! So, can I take you on a date?”
He’s completely serious as he replies and this is where you’re most taken aback. “Oh, starting off with a date?” You only had three months to be together, and to be quite honest, you thought Chenle was going to skip past all the initial dates and dive right in, knowing that you wouldn’t have given it a second thought if he immediately had you pinned against a wall. You seemed to have greatly underestimated the character of your best friend though, because he shoots back with a sure nod, genuinity filling his next words.
“Well, yeah. I don’t want this to just be a physical thing. I want to be able to say that you were my first love. You were always meant to have that title. I want to remember you that way, not as some no-strings-attached summer fling.”
You immediately drop your head to face the floor. Chenle must have grown up some more when you weren’t looking. All at once, you don’t know what happened to the loser you grew up with, who learned to shut off his feelings and fill all that space with basketball instead; but now, here he stood, making his intentions very clear in that he planned to spend the summer falling in love with you, and outside of the shock you’ve felt throughout this entire conversation, a new feeling erupts in your stomach - butterflies.
You look back up at him, regardless of how embarrassingly red you could tell your cheeks were, and a smile reaches your face as soon as the two of you lock eyes. “A date it is,” you say with a nod before stepping back into your house some more and actually letting him inside for a bit. “I’ll have to actually get out of my pajamas,” you say with a laugh. “Any idea of where you want to go?”
Chenle bites on the inside of his cheek before shaking his head. “Well, you know I can take you out on a really fancy date, and if that’s what you want, we can do that. I mean, that’s sure as hell what you deserve…but I was thinking maybe we could just go out to our favorite ice cream shop and then play some basketball.”
Your cheeks puff out in a smile. “So, you wanna hang out?” You tease, and Chenle is quick to shake his head.
“No! I wanna go on a date with you! I know we get ice cream and play basketball a lot, but now I want to do so while also knowing I can go up and kiss you whenever I want.”
You raise an eyebrow playfully. “Oh, now we’re kissing on the first date?”
Chenle just stares at you in disinterest. “Three months, y/n. That’s all I get. I’m not exactly looking to take things super slow. Besides,” he continues, throwing a sly smirk your way as his own brows raise. “You’re the one who’s been wanting to kiss me for the past two years.”
Your mouth drops into a gape as you swat at him, only succeeding in making him laugh like a dolphin, and while you made fun of his laugh whenever you could, it was also your favorite thing in the world. A certain warmth fills your chest at the sound of it as you simply shake your head. “Whatever. You’ve been wanting to kiss me for the past two years as well. Don’t even pretend otherwise.” He’s still getting over his laughing fit as you finish your sentence, leaving you to just roll your eyes at him as you turn and walk upstairs to your room to change, the front door still hanging open for him to eventually follow you through.
When you come back downstairs after getting ready, Chenle looks you up and down with a smile. “I’ve always liked that skirt on you,” he says casually. You let out a light laugh.
“I know. You weren’t very secretive about it,” you reply playfully, causing a light dusting of pink to cover Chenle’s cheeks.
“Is dating you just going to be a nonstop period of you teasing me?” He finally asks in return. His words make you freeze, though. You only had three months but he was serious about it, serious about you, and you couldn’t help thinking about how great the hurt would be for both of you once it was over.
You shake out of it, you had to, and instead send a wink his way as you rush out the door without him. “I guess you’ll have to just wait and see,” you banter back, and Chenle rolls his eyes before following you out and doing your part in locking up behind him.
While you were exchanging greetings with the worker on the other side of the ice cream parlor’s bar, Chenle was just continuously poking at your arm. “What?” You finally snap as you turn to him, though no one would ever be able to pick up even the slightest bit of irritation with his antics based off the smile on your face as you looked at him.
Chenle draws in a deep breath as a confidence booster before spitting out his words all at once. “I know we normally get our own milkshakes and finish them, but if you wanted to do that thing where we get one milkshake and put two straws in it, we could.” He was completely serious as he spoke, and you bite your lip to stop the wide smile from coming onto your face at his attempt to truly make this feel like a date.
Instead of letting him know how cute he was, you resort back to messing with him. “Hmm…less ice cream for me, though,” you say, pretending to contemplate his offer.
“I can buy us another one after that!” He quickly responds, and you can see the typical energy begin to flow back through his body as he relaxes some more. “We can just keep ordering milkshakes to share! I mean, what’s a couple of $5 transactions on a black card?” He continues rambling but you break out into a laugh, immediately getting him to stop and stare at you in bewilderment because nothing he just said was a joke.
“Breaking out the black card for our first date?” You ask, looking over at Chenle as though you were something like impressed. He does not see what the big deal is.
“Of course, anything for you-” That’s where he breaks himself off, his head falling into his hands on the counter as he finally cracks. “God, I feel like a loser,” he groans, but a fond smile paints its way across your face in response.
“You’re not a loser,” you reply calmly, but Chenle shakes his head in his hands, his next words coming out covered in defeat.
“But my face is red and I’m saying stupid stuff.”
“It’s cute,” you reassure him gently, but he is quick to quip back.
“You’re cute.” The statement rolls off his tongue effortlessly and you jump back a little in your seat, eyes wide.
“Woah, lele. I didn’t know you could actually be sweet to me,” you say back, feigning astonishment.
Chenle finally lifts his head up out of his hands to drag his troubled gaze over to you. “Do you see what I’m talking about? I’m a loser! I didn’t mean to say that,” he groans.
You just furrow your brows. “So, you don’t think I’m cute?” You ask playfully. Chenle squeezes his eyes shut, taking an extra long breath before peeking one eye open to look at you and practically whisper his response.
“Yes, I do.”
An easy smile spreads across your face as you take in the fact that Chenle genuinely complimented you, though you were glad to see it pained him to admit it because that meant this was still your Chenle after all. You immediately turn your gaze back over to the worker, who pretended to be super invested in cleaning the counter as your conversation with Chenle drew out, and then you order just one milkshake with two straws. After, you move your gaze back over to your best friend.
“You can just be yourself, you know? I’ve liked you for years already, you don’t have to try and win me over now.”
Chenle sucks on his bottom lip, sighing. “I know but…you deserve to feel romanced and loved, and I want to do that, I just- it’s not my strong suit. My parents just bought me things and then shipped me overseas. A pretty weird love language if you ask me.” He ends with a small laugh, and you’re relieved to see the tension in his shoulders fall as he does.
You shoot a fond smile his way in response. “I know, and that’s okay. Look, these three months for us to be together is just a change in the title of our relationship. There’s not much else that has to change. I won't hate you for struggling with how to express love. I know you like me, that’s enough.”
“Stop being so good at making me feel better,” he says with a weak grin. “I already feel like I’m not good enough for you.”
You roll your eyes, placing one hand on top of his at the counter, getting him to meet your serious gaze. “Lele, you make me happy - that’s more than enough. Plus, you’re rich,” you add, and Chenle lets out his own laugh as he rips his hand away from under yours.
“Oh, whatever,” he replies with a scoff, but the atmosphere is instantly lighter as your laughter is only broken up by the milkshake being slid in between the two of you, immediately redirecting your attention to the shared directive of sucking that down as fast as you could.
As Chenle got his card back after paying for all your rounds of milkshakes, he turned to you with a hopeful grin. “Do you wanna go back and play basketball in our street?” He asks, causing a similar smirk to spread across your own features.
“You know I do, but can you take it easy on me now that we’re dating?” You suggest playfully, though surprise was the last feeling that came to mind when Chenle’s eyebrows furrow in response.
“Absolutely not,” he replies quickly, causing you to sigh. “If anything, I gotta go harder on you now that we’re dating. I don’t date amateurs. You gotta keep up with me.” Your face falls into shock as you lightly hit the back of your hand against his forearm and the two of you break out into laughter again.
“Hey! Thirteen years of pickup basketball does not equate to me being an amateur. I’m a seasoned pro,” you try to say seriously. Chenle raises his eyebrows at you in a taunt.
“Yeah? We’ll see about that. What do you say, loser has to buy-” He cuts himself off from going over the terms of the bet as he turns his attention towards the countertop in disbelief. “I guess I just bought all our ice cream. What are we supposed to use as a bet now?” He speaks as though his hopes and dreams were ruined. You just shake your head fondly at him, sucking on your bottom lip to try and hold back a smile.
“Come on,” you say, moving to grab his hand in yours and pull him away from the counter. “We’ll figure something out. Let’s go before it gets dark.”
Chenle shoots you a look as though you were crazy. “Y/n, it’s summer. We have like- at least five more hours before it gets dark.”
You stop in your tracks, turning back to him with a smirk. “Well, my bad. I just wanted to spend as much time with my boyfriend as possible,” you reply, and Chenle ducks his head as blush covers his face. Though, with one gentle squeeze of your hand, he’s the one now pulling you out of the ice cream parlor and towards the car to go back home.
As always, the two of you started off with a game of horse. It’s typically how you would decide who gets first possession, though you’ve stopped seeing a point to it because Chenle wins every time. At least, that’s how it normally goes. Today, standing in Chenle’s driveway, it was you who was crushing Chenle in horse. With you still at ‘h’ and Chenle just tacking on an ‘s,’ you let out a laugh. “I thought you weren’t taking it easy on me,” you taunt, and Chenle whips his head in your direction seriously.
“I’m not!”
You raise your eyebrows at him as you move to take the ball from his hands and shoot your next shot. “Okay well then, whoever you are, can you go get Chenle back for me?” You ask, turning back to him after successfully making it. “I miss him. He’s your height, looks kinda like you, is good at basketball-” You tease, and Chenle cuts you off as he turns fire red, grabbing the basketball and readying himself to shoot from where you just did.
“I’m good at basketball!” He argues before taking his next shot…and missing. He turns around to meet your raised eyebrows and groans. “A game of horse doesn’t even matter! All it means is that you start off our actual game.”
You shake your head at his antics as he picks up the basketball and passes it to you because somehow, you had first possession today. These ‘actual’ games were where you tended to perform better, but it was the same for Chenle of course, so you still typically only took one out of every twenty games from him.
Though, it seemed Chenle’s poor performance in horse did nothing to actually warm him up, because his game performance was no better - possibly worse. You watched as the famed Lele Curry missed every shot he took, acting as though nothing happened every time he retrieved the ball for you. You wait until he misses an easy layup before finally shaking your head at him from the other side of the driveway.
“Lele, come kiss me,” you say plainly, and Chenle immediately stops in his tracks as he turns towards you.
“WHAT? Wh- wha- why?” He fumbles out through something of a shocked yell, getting you to just roll your eyes at him playfully.
“Cause I have a feeling it’s gonna get you your basketball skills back,” you reply with raised eyebrows, greatly contrasting Chenle’s furrowed ones as he looks back at you in question.
“Huh?” He gets out, causing your shoulders to bounce up and down lightly with a small chuckle.
You look up to face him fondly, the teasing lilt out of your tone. “Look, we’re dating now, we just talked about affection, it’s on your mind and messing with your game, so you should come kiss me and get it over with,” you state as though it were no big thing. It was a big thing to Chenle though, because he just learned you could read his mind. Of course he was thinking about kissing you, it was all he could think about - you were you, after all, and Chenle really really liked you.
You watch as his adam’s apple bobs up and down with a hesitant swallow, but as he looks back up at you, the tension in his shoulders falls. He crosses the driveway to end up directly in front of you. Slowly, his right hand comes up to cup the side of your face, an action that you easily smile into, and Chenle takes a moment to run his thumb over your puffed out cheek as his nervous gaze runs over every inch of your face. “I don’t know how to kiss but- but I promise I’ll do it just right if you let me.”
“Chenle…”
“May I?” He asks quietly once his eyes finally fall to your lips.
You nod your head, caught off guard for a breathless moment at the recognition of this softer, shyer side of Chenle. You had kissed a few guys throughout high school, but you knew he hadn’t kissed anyone before. Once the two of you found out his marriage was arranged, he gave up completely on high school relationships or flings, and meanwhile you tried to kiss as many guys as possible in an attempt to get your mind off of it. None of them ever meant anything, but this one did, and Chenle knew it, too. He wanted to do everything right, but he didn’t even know what ‘right’ was, and any time he didn’t know what he was doing, he fell shyer, more hesitant, always so uncomfortable with unknowns that he tried to just slip away instead. He hardly let you see this side of him because he always wanted to present his best self; but he was soft with you now, because he cared enough about you to admit he was clueless - that the thought of kissing you made his head spin but it wasn’t even something he could truly picture.
“You may,” you answer softly, and Chenle slowly leans into you.
It started out as the lightest kiss in the world, a kind of gentleness almost uncharacteristic of your best friend if you didn’t know all his layers already. You can’t help the smile that spreads across your lips, but you refuse to break so quickly; so instead, you pin your focus on deepening the kiss - pressing back into him, establishing a healthy rhythm sucking on his bottom lip. Chenle’s hand that wasn’t cupping your face soon flies to your waist as he begins to match your pace. As he got more comfortable with the feeling of his lips against yours, he got more desperate for it. You figure standing in the driveway of his house is not where you should teach him how to use his tongue, so with one last soft kiss, you break away.
Your gaze instantly falls to the ground beneath your feet, a cheesy grin across your face that you try to cover up. “See, now you’ve kissed me. Nothing else is going to be as scary as that,” you say playfully. “Now you’re good. You can kiss me whenever you want. Alternatively, you never have to kiss me again if that’s what you want-” You immediately cut off your words as you finally bring your gaze up to make eye contact with Chenle, only to realize he’s staring at you with wide eyes, his mouth hanging slightly open. “What’s that look for?” You ask, suddenly worried you did something wrong.
Chenle shakes his head in an attempt to gather his thoughts, mouth opening and closing in hesitation as he looks you up and down. “Um, I like you…a lot. Like, a lot,” he says as though he were out of breath. The wide grin comes back to your face as you let out a fond laugh.
“Ha! That’s for another time,” you promise, instead bending down to pick the basketball up from the ground and place it in his hands. “Now turn around and shoot,” you continue, nodding your head towards the basket behind him. He does as asked, turning around and not even taking a moment to regain his footing before shooting and immediately making a nothing-but-net basket. You drop your face back to the pavement with a knowing nod. Then, you walk the one step back to meet him again and place a soft kiss on his cheek. “There’s my Chenle,” you claim softly, and watch as his ears turn a deep shade of red.
Biting on his bottom lip, he shakes his head, unable to say anything in response. Instead, he moves to grab the basketball again, passing it to you since he just scored, and you know you’re about to get your ass kicked in pickup basketball.
That was, in fact, exactly what happened. The only difference between this and the games that occurred before you started dating, is that now throughout the game, Chenle would sometimes turn around after making a basket and tell you a play that good deserved a kiss. You would roll your eyes every time but you always obliged - each soft, casual, ‘proud of you’ peck leaving Chenle with the biggest grin on his face.
Your pickup game finally ended when his aunt got back from work, forcing you both out of the driveway but more importantly, breaking the two of you apart from your quick kiss as you scramble into the grass. As she pulls into the garage and turns off the car, she steps out to meet you two still on the side of the driveway. “Well, something’s certainly changed in the time I’ve been at work, hasn’t it?” She says with a playful smirk. You and Chenle drop your heads in unison, but his aunt just lets out a warm laugh, nodding her head towards the door. “Come on, kids. I’ll make us dinner.”
Matching smiles spread across your faces as you rush to follow her inside. As she started cooking, you and Chenle did whatever you could to help around the house where needed, but eventually you were told to just sit and rest a while as opposed to crowding the kitchen and making things more difficult. So, TV remote now in hand, you leaned into Chenle on the couch and he hooked both arms over you instantaneously.
Chenle’s arms around you, the smell of home-cooked dinner, and a basketball game on the TV, there was something so natural about it - as though Chenle’s arms have been around you your entire life, as though you’d have them around you, to come home to, for the rest of time. You knew the idea of it would never be true in the long run, but right now it was as real as it could get - and the second you could convince yourself to simply exist in the present, that fact was enough to make everything okay. You’re sure Chenle could feel it, because at the very same time that peace crashed over your body, Chenle squeezed you slightly tighter to him, placing a small kiss to the top of your head before resuming his task of acting super nonchalant about having you in his arms.
The two of you explained everything to his aunt over dinner, and any disheartening thought she may have had about the situation, she kept to herself. You all had collectively gone through that song and dance all those years prior when the news of Chenle’s arranged marriage first broke. She knew you didn’t need to hear that speech again. Instead, she smiled warmly, claiming that if any two people deserved to be happy together, even for just a little while, it was you guys.
You excused yourself after dinner, figuring it was probably time for you to head home since you haven’t seen your parents all day. Chenle immediately stood from the table with you, gently lacing his fingers with yours and leading you to the door. “I’ll walk you home,” he says casually, but you just shake your head at him.
“Lele, I live right across the street. It doesn’t even take twenty seconds for me to get home,” you reply playfully. Chenle just squeezes your hand in his slightly tighter, and when he speaks again, it’s much more somber in tone.
“Three months, y/n. I’ll take a few more seconds anywhere I can get them,” he states quietly, and his words seem to have hollowed you out so that all you can do is nod your head. Chenle smiles at your acceptance before getting hit with another thought and immediately pausing. “Oh, wait!” He exclaims as you take the first step out his front door.
You turn back around to face him in question, watching as he runs through the house before coming back into view with a hoodie in his arms. “For you,” he says with a bright smile as he holds out the hoodie for you to take. You just raise your brows at him with a smirk.
“Chenle, it’s summer. What am I gonna need a hoodie for?” You ask playfully in return, though your traces of banter didn’t reach Chenle, and instead every feature on his face falls into a pout. You let out a fond laugh at the sight of it, moving towards him to take the hoodie from his arms with a light kiss on his cheek. You immediately slip it over your head, and the sheer comfort of it answered your question of what you were gonna do with a hoodie in the summer - wear it any chance you got. You look back at Chenle, who was stuck staring at you in his hoodie as though you were a goddess. You just pray your face doesn’t show too flustered in the moonlight and grab his hand to actually start on the walk across the street.
As you get to your front door, Chenle tightens his grip on your hand to pull you back some more, now just standing idly on your front porch. You study his figure curiously, watching as he tosses around thoughts in his head so loud you could almost hear them. His gaze eventually falls to the ground but he finally finds his voice.
“I don’t think I’m gonna be great at ever telling you how I feel. It’s hard for me to articulate anything even closely related to feelings. There’s so much in my head but I don’t know how to tell you everything…how much you mean to me. But if today taught me anything, I’m much more comfortable with showing you how I feel. That doesn’t seem as foreign to me for some reason. I can show you how I feel - I want to. I hope it gets across, though. I hope you know every time we kiss…” He drags off, and his eyebrows immediately furrow in irritation that this was just another example of him struggling to put his feelings into words.
You give a fond shake of your head as you stare back at him. “Chenle,” you let out softly, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand, still intertwined with yours.
He finally looks back up at you with resolve. “What I’m trying to say is that if one day, you get fed up with all my emotions being expressed physically rather than verbally, I can stop. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t have to kiss you all the time. I can try- I can try to…I can-” This time, he’s cut off by your lips on his, and he melts right into the kiss.
When you finally pull back, you place a hand on his cheek, nodding your head lightly. “It gets across, lele. Everything you’re feeling, it gets across. It’s never gonna be too much; we have a lot of time to make up for, I know. So, whenever you want to kiss me, I want to kiss you.”
In return, Chenle gives the most bashful smile you’ve ever seen. He moves a hand up to guide your own back down from his cheek before studying the way your two hands fit with each other so naturally. All hands were meant to be interlaced with another, he thought, but his were specifically made for yours. You look at his soft features with a grin, squeezing his hand gently in yours and getting him to train his eyes back on you in a rush. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says surely, causing you to laugh some before nodding your head.
“See you tomorrow,” you softly return as he takes the first few steps back towards his house. You stand and watch until he finally reaches his own front door; turning back around to see you still outside, he gives an exaggerated wave in your direction, and you didn’t need to see the huge smile on his face to know it was there. You move your hand up slightly to wave back to him, hoping the yellow street light wasn’t enough to illuminate the clarity that had immediately washed over you as you clocked that you only had three months left of his exaggerated waves and huge smiles - the butterflies that had occupied your stomach all day were no match for the void that made its presence known now. A heavy breath escapes you as he finally turns the knob and enters his house, leaving you with nothing left to do but the same.
As soon as you opened the door, the change in atmosphere was striking. The warmth of your parents’ laughter filled the kitchen as they were cleaning up from their own dinner, your dog entirely too wound up as he jumped around waiting for teased scraps from your father’s plate. The pit in your stomach didn’t go away, but instead became more pronounced as another strange feeling added to it. Your parents had much longer than three months to be together; you wondered if they could fathom it - if they could ever wrap their heads around the amount of love shared between the two of them throughout all these years. You wondered if you would ever be able to wrap your head around the idea of loving someone that many years, knowing it wouldn’t be Chenle on the receiving end of it. You hated remembering why the two of you originally promised not to get involved with each other - you hated that those reasons made more sense than ever.
You didn’t realize the door practically slammed shut behind you until the rest of the house fell quiet in response. Your mom makes eye contact with you in the front entryway before smiling brightly and returning to the dishes. “Hey, sweetie! Were you over at Chenle’s?”
Her question is coated with a smile and all you can do is start rambling to try and fight off the nauseous feeling that arose in response. “Guys, I made a really stupid decision and I know it’s stupid so I don’t need you to tell me again and I really don’t need you to be pessimistic about it because it won’t help.” You speed through your words in an instant and the look on your parents’ faces completely flip as they drop what they’re doing to go meet you still by the front door.
“Y/n, what happened?” Your dad asks in a panic, and you figure the vagueness of your statement meant they were currently assuming a lot worse than it was. You shake your head, but it doesn’t do much to dismiss their worry until you follow it up with words.
“Chenle asked me to be his girlfriend,” you spit out, and the tension in their shoulders drops at once.
“And you said ‘yes,’” your mom softly finishes in your place. You shoot your gaze up to her, bringing their notice to the tears in your eyes as you respond weakly.
“I couldn’t say ‘no.’”
Your mom lets out a fond sigh, nodding her head as she throws an understanding smile in your direction. “I know,” she replies, coming up to wrap you in a hug where you finally let yourself bawl your eyes out.
“We only have three months to be together but- but we wanted to be together,” you explain as firmly as you could through tears. “And we should’ve just pressed on these three months like we have our whole lives, I know it’s stupid-”
“Y/n, it’s not stupid,” your mom cuts in seriously. You lean slightly out of the hug to make shaky eye contact with her, then darting your gaze off to meet the encouraging look your dad bore and only getting more confused. You pull back from the hug entirely, now doing your best to collect yourself again so you could have a real conversation.
“I’m gonna be really hurt three months from now, and it’s not Chenle’s fault, it’s mine-” You could only be mad at yourself for so long before your mom cuts you off again.
“It’s not your fault. Sometimes, what makes a decision seem stupid is that there’s no one to blame for its consequences. It’s not gonna be your fault, nor Chenle’s…and it’s weird when you don’t have someone to blame.” Your mom was always the voice of reason, but you figure this time she was taking the same approach that Chenle’s aunt did. The inevitability of you and Chenle was the least of her worries. Her main goal was to keep you from jumping off the ledge before you could even enjoy it.
“I think Chenle blames his parents,” you rebuttal thoughtfully, and your dad just lets out a laugh before he responds more sincerely.
“Yes, but I think he hates his parents enough for the all of us, so we shouldn’t add to it.” Chenle’s disdain for his parents was more than evident, and your own parents never had the nicest things to say about them either - even though they kept their thoughts to themselves, you knew it. There wasn’t a single person in the suburb who understood where Chenle’s parents were coming from; with the quality of life being so starkly different, you figure no one ever would. The sucky thing was, you knew Chenle’s parents were thinking the same thing about you all, and it’s why everyone but Chenle has kept their opinion to themselves - it wasn’t worth it to do otherwise, an understanding could never be made between two different worlds.
You take in his words with a flash of your eyebrows but eventually let out a heavy sigh. “...he shouldn’t hate his parents,” you admit solemnly, thinking of your own family and wondering how heartbreaking it would be for both sides if you viewed them the way Chenle views his.
Your father ducks his head, his thoughts running parallel to yours. “No, but that’s not for us to worry about. I’m just glad you don’t hate yours,” he says with a smile, and you finally move your gaze back up towards your parents, three pairs of uncertain eyes exchanging thousands of emotions between them.
“Is everything gonna be okay?” You finally ask, your voice much weaker than you would have liked. Your mom shakes her head in mystery, a thin-lipped smile giving its best attempt at comfort.
“I don’t know, but was today okay?” She asks in return.
“Yes,” you answer immediately, but then your face turns more contemplative and you shake your head. “No- it was so much better than ‘okay’ you wouldn’t even understand.” Your words come out coated in fondness. You figured it was the first step towards realizing how bittersweet these next three months with Chenle were going to be, how nostalgic you would soon feel for memories you were in the middle of making.
Your mom’s smile widens at your words as she moves to brush over your cheek with her hand, ensuring the two of you make eye contact as she gives the only advice she thinks she can at this point. “Then let’s try not to worry about if everything’s gonna be okay in the future, and focus on the fact that everything is so much better than okay right now,” she says softly, leaving you nodding your head against her hold. It eventually falls into a tight hug before you get embarrassed and excuse yourself to make your way to your room for the night.
It was a few hours later when your parents walked in to say goodnight. Your dad went first and then waited at the doorway as your mom took her moment to kiss the top of your head and bid you goodnight. Before she could take a full step away, though, you caught her hand in yours. Her face whipped back around to meet your soft, wavering gaze. “He kissed me today.” Your tone made it sound as though you had a million thoughts in your mind, but it was clear not even one would manifest itself into more words right away. Your parents both give a warm grin, and as your dad leaves from your doorframe to let the two of you have a moment, your mom joins you sitting on top of your bed.
“Yeah?” She encourages softly. All you can do is nod before frustration reaches the surface and you end up shaking your head decidedly.
“Mom, I don’t want to kiss another guy ever again,” you say, looking up to make sincere eye contact with her. “I want it to always be Chenle,” you continue firmly, and your mom just lets out a defeated sigh.
“For three months, it will be,” she says with a weak smile, trying her best to bring any sense of hope to the situation.
You pull your bottom lip in between your teeth, both coming to terms with the situation and not being able to believe it all at once. “And that has to be enough. How do I make that be enough?” You ask helplessly, the sight of you torn up like this chipping away at your mom’s heart.
“I don’t know, but you’ll figure it out,” she replies, and you figure that’s all anyone would be able to say to that. These are your circumstances, and regardless of if it feels unfair, all you can do is the best you can do; spending these three months trying to resolve a grief that hasn’t even hit you yet was definitely not your best course of action. With the smallest of laughs that still comes across as jarring in the fragile moment, your mom speaks up again. “I would say you could kiss him like every time will be the last, but I can’t have you sucking his face off…his parents would not be thrilled about that,” she teases, and you’re finally able to crack a smile as well.
With one last kiss to the top of your head, your mom gets up and heads towards your door again. “Remember,” she says, turning back over her shoulder to look at you. “Today was really really good. Tomorrow will be, too; and the day after that…and the day after that. So, no stress for at least the next three days, okay?”
Your smile widens on your lips at the silly promise, but it did its job in removing what felt like the entire weight of the world from your shoulders. “Okay.” Then, with one last smile, your mom was out the door.
The next week was spent with you and Chenle not seeing more than an hour of separation from each other unless you were sleeping. Though you couldn’t say this for anyone else you hang out with, you never got tired of Chenle, never oversaturated from his energy; so, spending all this time together was hardly a task - it was just how you were meant to be. You think Chenle held the secret to it all along, the reason you never got tired of each other - though you doubted he was even aware of it, every time he looked your way, it seemed to be with a fresh set of eyes, like it was the first time he’d ever laid eyes on you. You could see it in the glaze of softness that took over his stare for a millisecond. How could you ever tire of each other when every glance gave the illusion of no time having passed at all. The only problem you could anticipate is how shocking it would be when these three months were up, if each passing day still consisted of the butterflies from the first.
It was at the end of this first week when your mom lingered in your room while saying goodnight to you again. You eyed her curiously as she sat down on your bed rather than the typical lean-over to kiss the top of your head. She gives a small laugh as she meets your gaze, then starts her words with a light sigh.
“Y/n, your dad and I have been talking,” she begins, and the color drains from your face.
“Uh oh,” you reply, unsure of whatever it is they came up with but knowing it typically never boded well for you.
At this, she laughs again, shaking her head with a grin. “No, it’s nothing bad. It’s just-” she breaks off, looking as though she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, and once you heard her words, you understood the look on her face completely. “We know how this is gonna go. You guys are eighteen year olds who like each other a lot, the situation only made more dire because there’s a strict end date. We figure you’re gonna want each other as your first time, right? So, just please be safe about it, okay?” She moves to make eye contact with you again, seemingly proud with how she articulated everything, meaning she’s completely surprised to see your jaw dropped.
“Wait, what?!” The volume of your voice jars even you, but you could not believe her words. “Are you telling me you and dad came to the decision that Chenle and I could have sex?! Me?” You question, pointing up at yourself as though your mom didn’t know who she was addressing. “Your daughter? Permission to have sex with Chenle?” At your crazed tone, your mom just lets out another small laugh and a shrug, morphing the atmosphere into something much more chill than you could imagine.
“I mean, you’re eighteen,” she replies nonchalantly, only getting you to gawk at her some more.
“I’m like- still a kid to you guys!” You shoot back, remembering how many times the idea of that played into their many rules for you - curfew during high school is 10:00 but hey, that first summer once you’ve graduated, go crazy, it seems!
Your mom tosses the concept of you being a kid around in her head before returning her gaze to you with a slight smirk teasing at her features. “Eh, I lost mine at, uh- well...younger than you, so eighteen’s honestly looking pretty good.”
“What?!” You exclaim again, this piece of lore about your mom baffling you more than anything else you’ve heard tonight.
You watch as she winces, reliving the truth of what she just said, but her eyebrows eventually raise as she turns to you with a cheeky grin to contrast her serious gaze. “Yeah, don’t tell your father about that one. I’m pretty sure he thinks I lost it at nineteen…” She drags off, and you let out your first laugh of the night.
“I can’t believe this,” you say, and your mom’s smile meets your own as she shakes her head and continues with her actual point.
“Look, some people see being eighteen and an ‘adult’ as a reason to never need their parents’ permission for anything ever again. So, I’m glad that you still want our approval for certain things but, here it is. Just be safe and we’re good,” she says casually, and you just drop your head with a laugh of disbelief.
“Okay-” you begin with a nod, but your words are cut off as your mom seems to light up with another thought.
“Oh! Just please do all that when we aren’t home. Your father and I do not need to-” She cuts herself off abruptly but continues to open and close her mouth as if searching for words to describe exactly what her and your dad don’t need to be around to hear, but you just nod your head with another laugh.
“Okay, okay, I got it. Don’t worry,” you conclude, finally motioning for her to let it go and actually bid you goodnight. With a laugh, she relents, walking out of your room and leaving you completely bewildered…and with news to tell Chenle when you see him tomorrow.
However, when you did see Chenle the next day, the conversation with your mom was the last thing on your mind because your little romantic surprised you with a date to the zoo, saying that you had to go right away before it gets too hot and all the animals hide in the shade of their habitats.
The first hour of the zoo experience was completely normal - snow cones that turned your hands into a sticky mess, which Chenle refused to let you wash off right away because he kept sticking your hands together and pulling them apart again with the biggest smile on his face; and then walking around the entire place actually holding hands, splitting your conversation between genuine facts about the animals and trying to see who could get the other to believe the craziest lie they could come up with at the time.
It was when you were at the prairie dog habitat that things took a turn. You and Chenle were reading the fact sheet when you heard the little girl next to you ask her mom what was happening with the animals. You whip your head back up to see the prairie dogs in a compromising position and immediately hit Chenle on the shoulder to get him to whip his head up as well. The two of you try your best to hold in laughter as the parents with younger children rushed to find another animal habitat to keep their child entertained with. That was when memories of last night came flooding back to you and you turn to face Chenle in an instant.
“Oh, hey! You know my parents said they’re chill with us having sex,” you say quietly enough so that just Chenle could pick up on your words. Expecting a reaction similar to yours when first hearing the news, you were stunned to see that when Chenle turned his head over towards you, his face was completely flat aside from his raised brows.
“So, what are ya thinking? You wanna drop down right here and do it?” He asks neutrally, beginning to eye the floor before scrunching his nose and looking around for a better spot.
“Chenle!” You gawk, and all it takes is one look at your exasperated face before he finally falls into a bout of laughter.
“I’m kidding, princess. God, who do you take me for?” He jokes with a disappointed shake of his head. Though, as you calm down with your own dramatic eye roll, he slips his hand into yours again, bringing them up to kiss the back of yours before dragging you off towards another habitat.
Hand-in-hand, the two of you walked around the rest of the zoo before heading out for a casual dinner. It wasn’t until Chenle was dropping you off at your front door that, in an effort to keep you in front of him a little longer, he remembered the topic he probably shouldn’t have just dismissed earlier in the day. “Oh, hey, before you go,” he starts, and you instantly remove your hand from the door knob to turn back around towards him. He makes serious eye contact with you as he continues. “About what you said at the zoo-”
You raise your brows with a grin but he shakes his head as soon as he spots your smile. “Not the part about all elephants being recognized as ordained ministers,” he clarifies, and you can’t help the small laugh as you remember your attempts at animal facts today. “But about us,” he continues seriously. “If I want anyone to be my first, it’s you, but I don’t wanna rush into it just because we’ve been told we can. I mean- I just got used to being able to kiss you and hold your hand-”
“And call me princess,” you add with a smirk, not letting him get away with the new pet name that easily. Chenle drops his head bashfully.
“Yeah, and call you princess…” he echos, falling more thoughtful with each word. “And I wanna be able to relish that a bit more before- well.” He shakes his head, getting frustrated at how poorly he was able to articulate everything on his mind. “I wanna be able to be there,” he finally says with resolve, looking back up to make eye contact with you again before continuing. “Be present…and if I still can’t fathom the fact that I get to kiss you right now, I don’t want to try and wrap my head around even more,” he finally concludes with something of an embarrassed laugh to try and lighten the atmosphere that only he thought needed lightening. You just smile sweetly back at him.
“I get it, lele. Hey, I wasn’t the one suggesting we drop to the floor and do it in front of the prairie dog habitat,” you remind him, causing him to face the ground again as he lets out an actual laugh at his own past actions. When you pick your words back up, it’s with sincerity. “If one of us isn’t ready, then nothing’s happening. I’m good to take it slow. We wanted to do this right, yeah?”
Chenle nods his head as he lets out a sigh of relief, as though he expected the two of you to not be on the same page for the first time in thirteen years. Though, when he looks back up at you, it’s with a firm smile. “Yeah.”
You shake your head at it all, your smile alone revealing how endearing you found him despite your best efforts to keep it hidden. You press up on your tip-toes and lightly kiss the top of his nose before moving down to catch his lips easily with yours. “Goodnight, Chenle,” you say once you finally pull back. Chenle’s face is as red as ever, and you knew he wasn’t kidding when he said he still can’t fathom the fact that he gets to kiss you.
“Goodnight, princess,” he replies in kind, getting your own face to flush as he turns to walk the few steps across the street to his house.
A few more dates and countless pickup basketball games later, and it was already the one month anniversary of the day Chenle paced around your front porch and begged you to forget about what’s happening in just two months now. Knowing Chenle, and how much he loved spending his parents’ money while he wasn’t under their rule, you were half expecting him to greet you today in a suit and take you out to the fanciest restaurant he could find. Instead, Chenle barged in through your front door that afternoon with something much less proper on his mind. “Y/n, it’s been a month,” he points out, and you turn your head to face him from where you sat on the couch.
“Yeah?” You acknowledged, waiting to see where he was going with this.
“I think we should have sex,” he states plainly, and you throw your head back with a laugh before you can even think about it.
“Just like that, huh?” You tease, looking over at him once again with a huge grin, not at all as serious about this proposal as he was.
He puts his hands out awkwardly, as if making sure you stayed put and would hear him out. “Look, I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the subject-” he begins, and you cut him off with another laugh of disbelief.
“Oh, I’m sure you have,” you joke, finally up on your feet and rounding the couch so you could stand face-to-face with him.
He shakes his head in the meantime, a look of annoyance on his face, all overwritten by a huge grin because it was you he was annoyed at. “Shut up,” he quipped with his own small laugh before continuing with as much seriousness as he could. “What I’m saying is, I think I could make it the best day of your life.”
Your eyebrows shoot up immediately, and it’s hard to keep the tease in your voice when the rest of your face betrays you with a huge smile. “Oh, yeah? Well, I’m sure with all your nerdy research, you’re practically a pro by now.” Chenle opens his mouth to bark out some confirmative response, or more likely beg you to stop with the teasing. Though, before he can do any of that, you just shake your head, grabbing his hand in yours and, with the knowledge that both of your parents were still at work for the next few hours, easily guiding him to your bedroom without a second thought. “Come on, big head.”
Chenle smiled brightly at the back of your head as he followed you up the stairs. “I’m so lucky,” he responds, the sarcasm not doing any good at covering up how much he genuinely meant that statement…if only Chenle knew how lucky he made you feel.
Ever since then, it became clear that sex with you was going to consistently stay at the forefront of Chenle’s mind. He was absolutely obsessed with the opportunity to know you more than he already did after the first thirteen years of memorizing you as his best friend. Each curve of your body was something sacred for him, and he took every chance he could get to indulge in it some more. Two weeks after your first time, Chenle met you at your front door with the same gleam in his eyes as ever.
“Hey, baby,” you say, leaning in to quickly kiss him before moving back so he could actually step inside your house. “What do you wanna do today?”
“Sex!” He immediately answers, his tone as though he were a kid asking for candy. You drop your head with a small laugh.
“Not today, lele,” you reply, and Chenle’s brows shoot up in question, though the playfulness is still coating his every move.
“Was my approach wrong? Let’s go from the top, I’ll make my words more sophisticated,” he jokes with a smirk.
You finally give a solemn shake of your head. “No, Chenle.”
His demeanor immediately shifts as he falls into concern. “Okay, what’s wrong?” He asks, placing his hand softly on your cheek so he can guide your eyes back to his own. You meet his worried eyes and immediately dart your gaze away again, laughing softly in embarrassment.
“Nothing. I just started my period today,” you explain, and Chenle immediately lets out a sigh of relief as you watch understanding wash over his figure. You pick up at the end of his sigh and continue with your answer. “My cramps are always the worst on day one.”
Once sure you weren’t breaking up with him nor banning him from ever fucking you again, he easily slips back into his usual manner with you; in this case, instantly getting on your ass. “Why didn’t you tell me?! I would’ve brought over your favorite snacks and your microwavable stuffed animal you always keep at my place and-”
You cut him off, shaking your head with a small smile. “I don’t need all that, though. I just wanna be with you.”
Chenle renders completely still for a moment. For a man who seemed to struggle with words, yours always ended up hitting him right on. He moves to instead wrap you in a tight hug, a contrasting gentle kiss placed on the top of your head as he just held you there for a moment. He finally moves to instead kiss your cheek and pull back a bit. “Movie night, then?” He suggests lightly.
You flash a soft grin in his direction, eyebrows raising as you stare back at him. “Will you hold me the whole time?” You ask seriously in return. Chenle rolls his lips inwards to hide his smile, though he can’t hide the light dusting of pink now covering his cheeks and tips of his ears.
“Is that even a question?” His banter back is ruined by the sheer softness of it. Your grin widens as you grab his hand and lead him towards the couch in the living room. You lean into him easily and he doesn’t think twice before pulling you even closer, holding you even tighter, as your favorite movie begins playing in front of you. “We’re watching the Steph Curry documentary after this, just so you know,” Chenle suddenly speaks up, a faint laugh in his tone - a strange vocalic considering he was completely serious, but you realize it’s his attempt to be softer with you right now, figuring you had it bad enough with your cramps that you didn’t need his bluntness on top of it.
“I’m pretty sure we can both quote the entire documentary by now,” you banter back with a disinterested groan. Chenle looks over at you by his side with a playful gleam in his eyes.
“Exactly! Which means we have to watch it one more time to really make sure.”
You roll your eyes at him but relent without another word; you still had an hour and a half of the first movie anyways.
It was a little over two hours later when your parents got home from work to find the two of you seemingly in conversation, only to realize the movie in front of you had no sound and it was just you and Chenle switching back and forth quoting each line - neither of you cutting the other a break should there be a moment of hesitation…so half of the script was recounted in between laughs and over the other’s teasing. Needless to say, once the Curry documentary started, there had been significantly less cuddles than before, but your cramps, however painful they may have been, were the last thing on your mind. It was only when you sat down for dinner that reality came flooding back over you, suddenly making it hard to sit down again. Trying not to focus on the pain, you instead thought about how pain-free the past few hours have been. You hated that Chenle knew what would work so well…you hated that he wouldn’t always be here to make it work again.
After dinner, your parents made their way out back to enjoy the firepit and calm night. You and Chenle found yourselves back on the couch, this time old cartoons you used to watch during childhood taking up space on the TV rather than movies. You cuddled into him easily, and he did his best to love on you enough to make the pain go away again.
When your parents finally came back inside, the TV was still running but you and Chenle were asleep against each other, his arms wrapped around you protectively as the two of you shifted so that you were laying down on top of his figure rather than just leaning against his shoulder. Your parents just let out light sighs, sad smiles covering their faces as your dad turned off the TV and your mom laid a blanket over the two of you before texting Chenle’s aunt and letting her know that Chenle wouldn’t be making his way back across the street tonight. They weren’t sure if they were feeding the beast by letting the two of you spend the night together, but it was too hard on their hearts to impose a future reality when you guys were so at home living in the present.
The morning sun eventually made its way through the windows to disrupt the darkness of your unconscious state. Still refusing to open your eyes, you just turn your head so that you're facing away from the window. Though, that’s when a hand lightly trails through your hair to move it away from your face, and you realize you’re still against Chenle’s chest. At once, you blink awake, and when you move your gaze to look at Chenle, you can hear the snap of silence as his breath gets caught in his throat. He shakes out of it with a smile, once again running his fingers through your hair as he begins to speak softly. “God, I wanna wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”
Your face goes fire red and you immediately rush to bury it back in his chest. “Shut up,” you chide. “Why would you say something like that?”
“Because I need you to know that,” he responds in sincerity, kissing the top of your head since your face was still hidden. “I’ll always want it to be you.” His soft confession served to be one of the most reassuring and sweetest things you’ve ever heard, and you knew he meant it wholeheartedly. However, while warmth took over 98% of your body, there was the other 2% overcome with a certain uneasiness. With Chenle claiming that he would always want it to be you he wakes up next to, it was the first time you felt a sense of pity for the girl on the other end of this arranged marriage with Chenle, because while you could never be her, she would never be you.
You push the thought to the back of your mind, sure anyone around you would call you crazy for feeling pity for his future wife. Instead, you pick your head back up and press a light kiss to his lips, and just like that, 75% of the rest of summer nights and early mornings saw you and Chenle asleep against each other.
All too soon, Chenle was accompanying your family as you moved into your college dorm. There was a week left before the first day of classes, and in between now and then, Chenle would have his fateful flight back to Shanghai. You had spent the past few nights crying yourself to sleep - well, if it wasn’t a night you and Chenle were spending together. All you wanted to do was be strong for him, your mind a constant loop of how sorry he looked as he asked to be selfish for the summer and indulge in his feelings. The last thing you wanted was for him to actually feel bad about it, to know how painful it truly was for you, when you knew he was going through the same thing himself. You didn’t need to add to the heavy weight on his shoulders imposed by almost every other figure in his life. So, you kept your tears to yourself. It wasn’t that hard anyways, being in Chenle’s presence meant a constant smile was on your face without ever having to think about it.
Once all your things were put away and you could pass as ‘moved in,’ you stood opposite your parents in the doorway to your dorm as Chenle used the bathroom. With a few words and quite a bit more unspoken ones, your parents made themselves conscious of the time on their watch and then bid you goodbye for a bit.
When Chenle came back out from the bathroom, he looked around for your parents, but his shoulders instantly fell once he failed to lay eyes on them. Instead, he turned to you in complete seriousness, pointing a thumb out to the side towards where your bed was as he looked at you with raised brows. “Can I be the first to fuck you on your dorm bed?” He asks plainly, and despite yourself, a loud laugh erupts from your chest.
“Chenle!” You chide, and the familiar big grin makes its way back across his lips.
“What? Isn’t that a thing?” He laughs off in question as though nothing were amiss. He quickly shakes his head, regaining his serious composure as he begins in his attempts at convincing you. “Regardless, I won’t get to experience it for myself so you should take pity on me. And I want this bed to be able to know me before any other college boy toy,” he states plainly, making you drop your head to hide the smile conjured up by his words.
“So glad you think that after you go back to China, I’ll resort to boy toys,” you shoot back monotonously. Chenle finally fumbles as he rushes to steer your mindset in a different direction.
“Okay, it came out wrong. That’s not what I meant,” he assures, but you stare back at him with raised, uninterested brows.
“Yes it was,” you reply immediately, but with the smallest peek of a smile from you, Chenle loses his tension again, ducking his head into his shoulders with a dumb laugh.
“I know.”
You shake your head at him to accompany the eye roll. “I hate you,” you say through a laugh, much to your dismay because you could not sell the bit to save your life. Chenle knew it, too, as he pops back up to look in your eyes with nothing but a tease behind his own.
“So, that’s a no to fucking on your dorm bed?” He questions, making it seem as though that were your least desired possibility rather than his own. His mind games didn’t need to work, though, as you shake your head with a fond smile this time, taking a step towards him to kiss his lips softly.
“I already told my parents to explore the campus,” you admit, and Chenle’s kissed lips turn into a childish grin that he had to calm down from before he could even think about kissing you again.
“Hmm…I think I like my bed better,” Chenle finally says, tossing your shirt back over to you as you both now sit up in your bed. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you at his words.
“Well, I would hope so,” you tease. “Yours is a King as opposed to this Twin.”
Chenle shakes his head, dismissing your banter as he responds with more contemplation than the situation called for. “No, I mean, the bigger bed is nice but I don’t think that’s it. I think this one is just a little too squeaky,” he concludes with resolve. All you can do is laugh, leaning over to place a fond kiss on his cheek.
“You had high standards for plastic-covered springs,” you joke as you pull back. Chenle looks over at you with raised brows.
“I have high standards in general. That’s why I like you,” he responds, and instead of letting yourself get embarrassed by how flustered that statement was about to make you, you nudge him in the side with a roll of your eyes.
“Whatever. We both know I was too low maintenance for you to originally fathom,” you reply, and Chenle finally lets a huge smile break across his face.
“We were kids in a suburb and I came from money…there was a lot I couldn’t fathom,” he recounts seriously. You move your head to look over at him by your side, a soft smile on your lips as the playfulness behind your eyes begins fading to match it.
“I’m glad you finally came around,” you start with sincerity. “The suburb will be sad to see you go.”
Chenle lets out a heavy breath at your words, the weight of reality seeming to hit you both at the same time. He finally nods his head a little, not in agreement but something like contemplation. “Speaking of, I guess we should get back to it. Now that we moved you in, we have to move me out.” The words are bitter on his tongue. The two of you did an immensely good job at sticking to the present throughout this past summer, but now that the present involved the first steps of the dreaded future, it was hard to stay lighthearted. You did your best, though, responding with a faint laugh.
“Yeah, I’m sure my parents have just about exhausted every way they can keep themselves busy anyways,” you point out playfully, and Chenle finally seems to remember he’s still sitting shirtless in your bed. He looks over at you, realizing he’s the only one to have fallen behind on getting dressed again, and with a matching laugh, he begins to remedy that.
“I can’t believe how chill your parents are,” he replies with a bit of awe as he pulls his t-shirt over his body.
You shake your head at him, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth in thought. “They’re not, they just like you.” Your reply is more serious again and Chenle swings his gaze your way with raised brows. You pull up your own to match, and a small smile plays on your lips as you continue. “If it was anyone else, they would’ve had me by the throat.”
Chenle takes in your cautious figure and furrows his brows, not at all seeing the consequences in the same light you were. “You like that, though,” he replies, nudging you in the side and getting the both of you to laugh. You shake your head, dropping it to cover your face with your hands in embarrassment.
“Sometimes, I wish you had a filter,” you banter back, but when you uncover your face again to look over at Chenle, his demeanor had completely shifted, as though your laugh had reminded him that he didn’t know how many more times he would be able to hear it.
“I’m sorry for having to leave,” he says miserably. “Your family has been so nice to me, all throughout childhood and now trusting me with you…” He drags off, his gaze moving across the bed beneath him and over to you, hair messy and lips slightly swollen from his kisses. He shakes his head. “Like this, and I’m just up and leaving.” You can tell he’s getting pissed at himself with every new word, but he doesn’t give you time to jump in right away. “I put you in a position where I knew you’d get hurt. I feel like an asshole.”
Gently, you bring both of your hands to cover over his own against his lap, and he turns his gaze your way at the contact, allowing you to see him physically break from his reverie and instead soften in your presence. “Chenle, you aren’t an asshole,” you reassure. “I knew what I was signing up for at the beginning of summer, and I told my parents exactly how this was going to go, too. No one blames you for having familial obligations. Not me and not my parents. They aren’t mad that you’re the reason my heart is gonna break in a few days, they’re just really really grateful you’ve been the reason behind the happiest three months of my life.” Your words carry enough weight, it was obvious that that’s truly how you viewed the situation. If possible, Chenle felt worse. He was the bad guy here, and you were reframing it for his benefit. He never felt like he deserved you, and had no clue how you managed to think otherwise for the past three months.
“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. You whip your head towards his face once you hear his shattered tone, and your lips part in disbelief. You always figured Chenle would be the strong one, but today’s proved to you that’s not the case.
“Hey,” you start, rubbing a thumb beneath his eyes before his tears could fully roll down his cheeks, an accompanying fond laugh to cover over your own heartache. “Don’t get all sad on me now, we still have four days until you leave.”
Chenle gives a weak smile, catching your hand with his own and bringing it from his eyes down to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to the back of your hand before shifting grips and giving it a tight squeeze. “Let’s go find your parents.” His voice cracks again as he speaks, and he’s finally able to let out an embarrassed laugh in response. You just nod your head, leaning over to grab your phone and find a well-timed text informing you they were waiting at a café on University Boulevard. So, with a onceover in the mirror to make sure the general public wouldn’t be able to tell you and Chenle just fucked, you led him out the door.
Once you got back home, you and Chenle hardly ever left each other’s sides…even less than normal. There was a shift ever since you moved most of your things to university, and everything started to feel a little more real as opposed to the way the rest of this summer felt like an escape from that reality. You both were running out of time, and you couldn’t do anything but be conscious of the fact. It affected Chenle the most, and you could tell from his first touch once the two of you got back.
Up to now, sex with Chenle was a full-on activity. It was rough, hot, and passionate to say the least - he would fuck you. However, the last four days, the air had completely changed. Now all his movements were softer, slower. He was trying to memorize you.
His eyes would become distant sometimes, and only he knew that it meant he was replaying the first day he met you - five-year-old him staring judgementally on the sidewalk out front of his aunt’s house as he watched you play with the water hose, getting messy for no reason and having the audacity to laugh with joy because of it. When you met his gaze, you motioned for him to come join you, to which he adamantly shook his head and decided he was never making friends with the kids on the block. However, as he turned around to go back inside, figuring some basketball could wait until all the messy kids were gone, cold water hit his back in a sensation that had him whipping around again. His first thought was to start spouting Chinese words that he heard his parents say sometimes after they got off business calls with ‘imbeciles of clients,’ but instead as he laid eyes on you, just a few feet away now, with a water gun in your hands and the brightest of joys in your eyes, he forgot all his words. All he knew was that he wanted to be friends with the kids on the block. Though, not even that, he just wanted to be friends with you. He swore in that moment you outshone the sun, and he wanted in on your warmth.
If Chenle knew then what he did at fourteen, he’s not sure he would’ve ever allowed himself to get close to you. However, if he knew then what he did now at eighteen, closer to you than he’s ever been, he’s positive he’d go through this heartbreak a thousand times if it meant he got to love you even once, and he wouldn’t have waited so damn long to love you in the first place.
The last day - the last time, the distant look in Chenle’s eyes wasn’t there at all. Instead, it was filled with non-stop whispered words of how much you meant to him, how much he adored you; his voice occasionally catching in his throat when he got too sentimental, and you’d be reminded of how hard it was for him to articulate his thoughts at all; so all you could think to do was pull him down for a kiss and swallow his words instead.
Then you blinked and it was already the day of Chenle’s departure. Your parents had been outside most of the morning helping Chenle and his aunt load the car up with his things. You took no part in it. Instead, you sat in your room, hugging your knees and staring blankly. The only tell that you weren’t frozen was the fact that you were chewing on your bottom lip, truthfully destroying it, but it was the only thing you could think to do to ground yourself at the time.
With a light knock on the door, your mom enters your bedroom and you move your head up to meet her gaze. “Chenle’s sitting outside. We got him all packed up and everything.”
You swallow harshly and your eyes immediately find your knees again. “I know,” you reply shortly, your voice hardly above a whisper.
A sad smile crossed your mom’s face, but when she saw you making no effort to move in response to her words, she let out a sigh. “Sitting in your room doesn’t stop time.” Her words come out flat, like a lecture, and you knew she was trying to juggle how to be both, a ray of comfort and an authority figure. “You still have to say goodbye.”
You shake your head to dismiss the bit of worry held in her tone as she gave you orders. She didn’t have to walk on eggshells around you, it was that you were the one mentally walking on eggshells around your heart. “I’m just trying to keep my emotions from running high,” you say monotonously, finally looking up at her. You watch her eyes widen as she notices the glaze of tears over your own, and shake your head again in frustration before dropping it back down to your lap. “The last thing he needs is to have to leave while I’m in tears. He’ll never want to go.”
Your mom rolls her lips inward, and suddenly she understands why you’ve taken solace in tearing up your own bottom lip before she walked in. Though, with a sigh, she speaks again with her best attempt at unbiased advice. “He already doesn’t want to go - but the fact of the matter is that when you look back on this moment days, months, years later, you’ll want to have said ‘goodbye.’” You shake your head immediately, she was wrong.
“No. I don’t ever want to say ‘goodbye’ to Chenle,” you claim with more force than you thought yourself capable of in such a fragile moment. You glance up to watch the outsider persona she tried to create instead fall away, and she just went back to being your mom.
She fumbled with her thoughts for a few moments, mouth opening and closing again as she shook away everything she didn’t want to say. Finally, she presses her lips to form a thin line, and then is immediately turning around to walk back out of your door. “You can wish him luck, then, but you need to go see him.” As her words come out, straightforward and not open for debate, you realize why she started walking away as she delivered them, because she wouldn’t have been able to face you and give such orders. Her words were still not what you needed to hear, and you both knew that, but she had to exert some authority and get you to at least do what seemed best in the long run; you figure that’s why it was hard for you to take in…you and Chenle didn’t have a long run. The concept of it hurt enough to pull you up from bed and out the front door.
Without a word, you sit down next to Chenle on the sidewalk, making a chair out of the step in the pathway leading up to his aunt’s house. He moves his head to look over at you, registering that you were next to him. With a breath, you turn to face him as well, a smile on your lips that didn’t quite reach your eyes, though the tears once occupying them were successfully blinked back.
He ignores your smile of reassurance, instead just looking over you once and nodding his head minimally before facing the front again and leaning his head on your shoulder. That’s how the two of you stayed for a good five minutes. No words exchanged, just your light breaths and his heavy exhales as you run through every thought in your mind. You weren’t sure which ones to say, which ones would make things worse, or if any of them would make things better.
“Oh!” You startle as the first practical, rather than emotional, thought crosses your mind. “I still have your hoodie, oh my god let me go get-” Your move to get up and run back into your house is ruined by Chenle’s calm words.
“Keep it,” he says immediately, and you whip your head towards him in shock.
“What? Chenle, if I keep it, it’s almost guaranteed you’re never getting it back. We won’t have contact after this.” That was always the deal, he was getting a new phone and his parents were taking any trace of you out of it, blocking your number, the whole nine yards. However, admitting that you weren’t going to have contact after this present moment was incredibly bitter on your tongue. The words make Chenle tense up, too, but he just as quickly continues with a head nod.
“I know. So, keep it. It can be your hoodie, just please don’t forget that it’s mine.” He stops talking once he notices the sorrow in his tone, and you watch as he swallows it back before speaking again, this time with a touch of playfulness. “And even after you stop wearing it, you can give it to your first-born, Chenle, and then it’s Chenle’s hoodie again.” He concludes as though the entire thing made perfect sense, and you didn’t know how to feel with the fact that his banter made this conversation seem so normal. On the one hand, you were grateful when the familiarity fought off any last question of tears, but on the other hand, you hated knowing this was the last time you would get to have a normal conversation with him.
You settle with rolling your eyes rather than figuring out how to feel. “I’m not naming my first-born ‘Chenle,’” you reply, looking at him with raised eyebrows. You watch as a small smile overtakes his face, but it quickly settles into a grimace and then it’s gone.
“It was worth a shot.” He pauses for a beat before turning to face you, his new tone coming off as desperate, helpless. “Don’t ever forget me, okay?”
You shake your head rapidly as you reassure him. “I couldn’t.”
The two of you stare at each other again in silence for a moment. The time to say goodbye was upon you, which is why the conversation died, which is why you remember what your mom had said in your room, and thus you start with your wishes of luck. “You’re gonna do great, you know? Learning how to run a company and everything. No one’s more capable than you. I’m already incredibly proud of you, not because you’re gonna be a crazy successful business man, but because you’re you. So, when you set foot in your dad’s company, don’t lose that, okay? Everything that makes you Chenle. I’d be sad to see that go just for some bottom line.”
Chenle’s shoulders sink as he turns to face the pavement. “I’ll do my best for you,” he assures with a nod. You want to fill the silence again but hardly have a clue what to say. However, that’s when you see Chenle’s lips twitching and you know he’s in the midst of trying to articulate more of his own thoughts. When he does speak up again, his voice is surprisingly steady. “You know, I’ve been thinking lately. That’s all I could ever seem to do these past few weeks. You know I always struggled finding the right words to say, to let you know how much you mean to me. But lately I’ve found my words. And it’s stupid because it’s so easy,” he says with a scoff, and a wave of uneasiness washes over you as you see the smile he’s able to conjure up. “I’ve been saying it over and over again in my head and it’s so natural. I could’ve been telling you this entire time.”
That’s when clarity hits you and you jump to stop him from saying his next words - you couldn’t handle them. “Chenle, don’t-” You speak up in a rush, but he does, too.
“I love you,” he says firmly, finally bringing his head back up to look at you. His eyes are wide in sincerity, making sure you could see every emotion behind them, how much he meant it. “I love you, y/n l/n. I really do.”
Every last bit of strength you had vanished in milliseconds, and instead you bawled your eyes out sitting on that pavement. “You stupid kid,” you cry out, ramming your head into his shoulder. Underneath you, Chenle froze, and you realize he has no clue if you’re sad or genuinely mad at him. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” you add weakly, a hand coming up to clutch at his shirt. Chenle immediately softens, placing both of his arms around you as best he can. All this time, you had been mentally preparing to comfort him, to be so incredibly strong for him so that he could take his next steps and not feel incredibly guilty for doing so…but now he was the one comforting you as you sobbed in his arms. Chenle could figure out how to articulate his feelings but you couldn’t even get this right - he was stronger than you.
No more words were exchanged between the two of you. He held you in his arms as you tried to rid yourself of tears, but you couldn’t even accomplish that before his aunt gave the first gentle warning that they had to get on the road. Chenle felt you freeze in his arms, and he hated knowing that, regardless of how you wanted to frame it, he was the reason you were crying and torn up like this. If it was up to him, he would’ve never left you; but it wasn’t up to him, so all he could do was leave you with something - his hoodie, and the softest of kisses on the top of your head, getting you to finally pick your head up again so he could place more kisses across the span of your face, slowly but surely kissing your tears away until he made his way down to your lips…and there he finally faltered, letting out a heavy breath against your skin. A last kiss sounded horrible, did he even want one so clearly defined, or was it better for your last kiss to have been yesterday, being able to remember it as basked in love rather than tears. His inner debate was more like a war as his eyes roamed over every inch of your face - what to do? What’s best? Tears were still running down your face but he can't shake how beautiful you look right now…he loves you. How does he kiss you goodbye? How could he ever say goodbye? Does he not do anything at all? He loves you. Is a final goodbye best left unspoken? Unkissed?
His state of drowning in his thoughts gets cut off as you make the decision for him, leaning in to kiss him softly, and instead he’s drowning in you…and your last kiss. It was delicate and innocent, with the audience you had, it probably would have been weird for it to be any other way. Regardless, he still chases your lips after you pull back - that couldn’t have been it; but then the car starts and his eyes shoot open as they dart over to where his aunt was getting situated in the driver’s seat. Chenle whipped back around to face you and looked terrified, but the roar of the engine was a constant reminder of where he needed to be - he couldn’t put it off any longer. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, instead it was just quick, heavy breaths and a scared shake of his head. None of that meant that he wasn’t in the act of standing up from the pavement, making his way to the car…leaving you.
Every step you watched him take as he left was another drop of poison in your bloodstream, a poison you should’ve built up tolerance for already given how many small doses it seemed like you were taking throughout the last three months. Though, you must be kidding yourself - goodnight kisses under the porch light before watching him walk the few steps to the other side of the road were nothing even close to poison; an antidote, maybe, to last you throughout the night and fight off the poison of when you were apart, but there were no more goodnight kisses to keep you going now. It was a different sting, your muscles tightened, you couldn’t move, couldn’t look away. Though, you refused to watch him go, leaving it up to your tears to blur the sight of it. The scene in front of you was nothing other than a tragedy, an ending no one was satisfied with, not because it could’ve ended differently, but because it was always going to end this way. There was no crazy plot twist or invocation of Deus Ex Machina to change the narrative. No, just the same, sad, memorized ending of a story you forgot was your own. You played yourselves for fools, believing you could outrun a truth that only ever gained on you with each stride - that, together, the only thing the two of you needed was what you would never be able to have…more time.
warnings: the reader and chenle have a fight, descriptions of kissing, mentions of reader being a little insecure too
word count: ~2k
summary: Chenle was the last person you expected to love, but now you can't imagine your life without him. When a familiar heartache tests the thin line between your two worlds, you have to decide if being opposites is what draws you together—or what will finally pull you apart.
➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶
“I can’t believe they’re having you bleach it again,” you mumbled, your fingers threading through the soft, dark silk of Chenle’s hair.
You were well aware that the frequent hair color change was part of his career. But you couldn’t help but think about his poor scalp, especially when he complained about the thinning enough times that you’d started researching hair serums online.
Chenle glanced up from his phone, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing glint. “As long as I get another scalp massage again after, I’ll survive, baby.”
Baby. The pet name sent a traitorous spark through you, an involuntary smile tugging on your lips.
If someone told you a year ago that you’d be dating Zhong Chenle, you would’ve laughed in their face. To you, he was just a good friend of Jisung— the guy who was always a little too loud, aggressively competitive, and exuded a confidence that was like a foreign language in your quiet, guarded world.
Yet, here you were sitting with him under the dim lighting of an SM practice room, feeling the weight of his head on your lap as he watched basketball highlights on his phone. A reality that you once wrote off as impossible.
“Hm, what would you do without me?” You teased, though your hand lingered in his hair a second too long.
You reached your phone to check the time, a small sigh escaping. “I should probably get going, Lele.”
Although you started to shift in your position, he stayed heavy against your thighs. The smug look on his face began to fade away.
“But you just got here,” he countered, his voice dropping into that stubborn, unyielding tone that always tried to stall your plans.
Just like the other times, you refused to let that happen. You proceeded to reach for your bag on the floor, as he reluctantly let his head lift from your lap.
“I told you I couldn’t stay for long,” you replied, looking just as crestfallen as he did. “My company dinner starts at six, and I still need to get ready.”
Chenle let out a disgruntled noise, the hair-dye talk and basketball game now forgotten.“But you hate those dinners. And I know that one guy is going to be there— the one who doesn’t know how to take a hint.”
“He’s my team leader, and I’ve already told you that it’s mandatory,” you said, pushing yourself up from the couch.
Despite the rehearsed steadiness in your tone, you could feel the air in the room shift. You could sense that Chenle wasn’t anywhere near ready for this conversation to be over.
He proved you right by rising up from the cushions, standing at full height. “Yeah, a mandatory dinner where you’ll be seated right next to him so conveniently, right?”
Chewing on your bottom lip, you knew exactly what was fueling this sudden streak of opposition. It traced back to those pick-ups after work, the way Chenle’s jaw would tighten like a coiled spring the second he saw your coworker’s hand linger on your shoulder a second too long. You’d confided in him about the numerous compliments the older man gave, ones with suggestive undertones that left you feeling cornered.
Even so, a spark of annoyance flickered in your chest. “It’s not like I have much of a choice, Chenle-ssi,” you said, your voice sharper than intended. “Don’t you think I’d choose staying here with you over some stuffy restaurant and a stupid dinner if I could?”
“Then don’t go. It’s just one dinner— it’s not like the company will collapse if you’re not there,” Chenle replied. Your hands slowly curled into fists at the disregard in his voice.
He knew how hard you were working to turn this contract into something permanent. You had told him time and again that skipping these social “obligations” was a luxury you couldn’t afford. For you, attending this dinner wouldn’t give another reason for your superiors to badmouth you.
Beyond that frustration, it was the sheer audacity of his dismissal that struck a nerve. “Funny how you’re telling me what matters, when you basically ignored everything I said about your make-up artist the other day.”
“That’s completely different,” Chenle scoffed, crossing his arms in defense.
“How is she using that sugary sweet tone with you, while sending me death glares, any different?” You challenged, blood beginning to simmer.
He rolled his eyes, as if the memory was a nuisance. “You’re just reading into it too much, (Y/n).”
The rest of the argument blew up in a blur of circular logic and heated jabs. No matter how you explained it, Chenle refused to see the parallel in your situations. He stood firm in his opinions, leaving you feeling smaller and more enraged with every passing second.
You reached your breaking point in the heavy silence that followed his last condescending comment. Gripping the strap of your purse until the leather dug into your palm, you turned toward the door.
“Are you really going to leave like this?” he called out.
Fighting back tears, you glanced back once, only to see the same belittlement persisting in his expression. Shaking your head, you quietly said, “Shame on me for not being the girlfriend you wanted.”
════════════════
That final sentence and the cold silence that followed became the soundtrack that played through your weekend on loop. Any pocket of silence was immediately filled with echoes of the fight.
You found yourself spiraling through a cycle of second-guessing every jagged word that had been thrown in the practice room. Maybe you were being too sensitive. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to bridge the gaps between his world and yours. But then anger would return, fresh and demanding. It questioned why he couldn't trust you to keep boundaries in your professional life. And if he actually cared about your feelings, why was it so easy for him to brush off your mirrored concerns?
Those thoughts continued to swim in your mind late into Monday night, refusing to sink. But the sudden drone of the doorbell cut through the mid-spiral, pulling you out of your head and back into your living room.
You opened the door and froze. Chenle stood there in his favorite black hoodie and sweats, his face partially hidden behind the sunglasses he purchased during his last tour. His dark attire only added to the heaviness of his presence in the hallway. After the exhaustion of this past week, you weren’t sure if you were ready for another round.
Your shoulders slumped preemptively as you exhaled. “Chenle, what are you doing here?”
A compassionate apology sat on the tip of your tongue, ready to be spoken. You pushed aside the familiar bitterness of always being the first one to bend. For you had long ago decided that your pride wasn’t worth the risk of losing him forever.
Not another second passed before the distance between you vanished. With a desperate urgency, he cupped your face and crashed his lips against yours. A gasp caught in your throat at the sudden passion, but whatever walls you usually put so much effort into keeping up crumbled in seconds.
The moment your fingers dug into the thick cotton of his hoodie, Chenle deepened the kiss. The cool frame of his sunglasses smudged against your cheek, but you didn’t let the sensation be a distraction. He continued to chase the taste of you, his mouth pressing into yours again and again with a bruising intensity. The heat radiating from him was heavy yet intoxicating in a way that left you breathless. By the time you parted for air, your legs felt dangerously weak.
“Chenle-ssi,” you panted, clinging onto him just to stay upright. “You can’t just… kiss me every time we have a fight.”
For a heartbeat, you expected him to tilt his head and flash that endearingly arrogant smirk. But he didn’t move. He simply kept your face framed in his palms, his breath hitching in soft, uneven puffs against your lips— as if he were terrified of letting you go.
Reaching up, your fingers trembled slightly as you hooked the edge of his sunglasses and pulled them away. Your breath caught as the ceiling lights hit his face.
“Have you been crying?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
The bright eyes that usually sparkled with such self-assurance were bloodshot and rimmed with a raw, puffy red. Looking at him, you realized you didn’t need a mirror to know your own expression was just as weary.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. I was such a douchebag,” he finally spoke, his eyes locked onto yours with a seriousness you hadn’t seen in him before.
The despair in his voice made your heart ache, and you opened your mouth to protest. But he shook his head, his hands sliding from your face to your shoulders to steady you.
“No, please let me finish. I need to make things right,” he insisted. “I shouldn’t have pressured you about work. I was just jealous, and I took it out on you— which is pathetic, because you’ve never given me a single reason not to trust you.”
You quietly took one of his hands, lacing your fingers with his as he continued. “And I’m sorry for brushing you off about the make-up noona when she made you feel uncomfortable. I should’ve protected you better.”
“It’s okay, Lele. I was just letting my insecurities get the best of me,” you muttered, the past few days of overthinking peeking through the surface.
“You had a right to be worried,” he interjected, squeezing your hand gently. “And you are everything I’ve ever wanted in a girlfriend. You’re more than what I deserve, actually.”
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better,” you whispered, looking down at your joined hands.
He lifted your chin so you could meet his eyes once more. “I’m not. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, and you’re the most caring person I know. And somehow, you still put up with a stubborn idiot like me.”
A small smile played on your lips. “You’re not an idiot. Stubborn…I do agree with that one.”
“Okaay,” he drew out the last syllable, a small smile finally breaking through as he gathered you into his arms. “So... am I forgiven?”
You tucked your face into the crook of his neck, your words coming out soft and muffled. “Silly. Of course, I forgive you, Lele.”
Chenle offered a small, tentative smile before reaching into a pocket. “I have something for you,” he said, his voice softer now. “A peace offering. For being an idiot.”
Your eyes widened as he produced a rectangular velvet box. “Chenle, you didn’t…”
He led you to the sofa, his touch lingering on your arm. You sat beside him and slowly opened the box, your breath catching at the sight. It was a jade flower, meticulously carved and glowing softly against a thin, elegant gold chain. It was simple, quiet, and perfectly you.
After he helped you fasten the delicate gold clasp, the two of you spent the rest of the night tangled together on the sofa. The jagged stress of the past week finally dissipated, replaced by the familiar, quiet warmth of your usual dynamic.
“I still can’t believe you actually cried,” you mumbled, resting your head against the soft cotton of his shoulder.
Chenle’s arm remained firmly anchored around your waist, pulling you flush against his side. “Yeah, well,” he muttered, trying to regain a hint of his usual nonchalance. “It’s only because I missed you. I seriously thought you were never going to talk to me again.”
He said it lightly, but the way his grip tightened told you that he had been genuinely terrified. You snuggled closer, letting your eyes flutter shut as you were a little glad that the fear had been mutual. In the end, you still had each other, though. And no matter how different your personalities might be, the honest love you shared was real and persevering.
⤷ Synopsis: Zhong Chenle is the basketball team captain, he’s known for his great basketball skills, meanwhile Y/N is a little less popular but widely know for her kindness towards other students. Chenle always says that he isn’t in need of a relationship n that being in one will distract him from his games. Though he notices Y/N and realises that he might not be immune to falling in love but he refuses to believe that he is. He constantly avoids you until he’s forced to be introduced to you by his friend who is shockingly also your friend.
⤷ Taglist: Taglist is open,send ask,comment or message me to be added ᢉ𐭩
a/n: 2nd time writing a Smau 1st one was rushed so I didn’t continue it hopefully I don’t rush this one too. Lowkey so excited to write this one but the updates might be a bit slow so hopefully everyone is patient for it
When everything you know falls apart, what will you do? Move across the world, obviously. New country, new job, and everything is sad and blurry and unfamiliar until you met... him. Where actions speak more than words ever could.
pairing: Idol!Chenle x staff!fem.reader
genre: slice of life, strangers to friends to lovers
wc: 14k
content: fluff, suggestive
authors note: This was written with a lot of care, so i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it hehe, sending lots and lots of love <3
“Could life get any shittier?” had become your go-to phrase. Not just once or twice, you said it literally every day of the week. Honestly, things were so tragic that if they got even a little worse, your life might’ve crossed the line from drama to dark comedy.
The layoffs started without warning. Major companies, one by one, shutting down, their names evaporating from the building doors, like they were never there. ‘Making space for new opportunities’ they said, without care that half the population was left jobless until those magical new opportunities arrived.
You find it kind of funny now, standing in front of the airport with a beat-up bag filled with more memories than clothes, and a one-way ticket to Korea crumbled in one hand. When you started looking for a job, you considered another country, but a whole another continent? Like, imagine going from a small city in some insignificant European country (that you loved with your whole soul and being) to the famous Seoul, full of towering buildings on every corner, 24/7 convenience stores filled with unfamiliar flavors, alive in a way your hometown never could be.
You wanted to keep your expectations realistic, but the fear you felt was more real than anything. You thought of the ways this could be good for you, the ways it could fix the many broken parts. You knew you couldn’t love it yet, but you secretly hoped that being swallowed by a place that big might hurt less than being stuck somewhere you loved with no potential. And maybe someday, Seoul would love you back.
The announcement for your flight cuts off your thoughts, and you hurriedly collect yourself to walk to the gate. Multiple unfamiliar faces walk with you, different purposes but same path, and you wonder, how do they feel? Are they also terrified? Are they going to see their loved ones? Are they filled with grief, fearing of the worst? Or do they feel overwhelming joy while thinking of all the things they love in Seoul.
You wonder: the next time you come back, when it’s time to leave again, will you be excited too?
You don’t even remember how long you have been flying, until the stewards announce that you are nearing your final stop. You look out of the window on your right, at the bright lights below you, looking like a starry sky. You feel your breath being taken away by the beauty of it all, the sparkles looking endless. You realize, this isn’t just a city you will visit for a few days and go back home, this is your home for the foreseeable future, and even though you don’t want to admit it, you feel a wave of excitement rush through you.
As you collect yourself for the landing, you start to wonder about your life here as a foreigner, will there be many more like you? Maybe you might meet someone from your hometown, also living the life the only way they currently could. Maybe you make many more memories and friends there that leaving might hurt a little less.
Before your thoughts can settle, you are already standing on the concrete of the big Seoul, hailing a cab and clumsily giving the driver a slip with the address. The drive is quiet, which gives you the opportunity to look at the city a bit closer. It’s enormous, full of life, and you haven’t even seen the best parts of it. Lost in your thoughts, you wonder what exactly awaits you here.
By the time you get to your apartment, it’s already 3am there. You are actually kind of glad the only available flight had such a late arrival, since you’re not sure how well you could have handled human interaction in your current state. You pick up the key from under the welcome mat, like the owner promised, and you take a deep breath before unlocking the door and bringing all your stuff inside.
The place is small, but with a separate bedroom which you heard is rare here, and it has everything you could ever think of needing. You decide to leave the unpacking for tomorrow, for tonight, you will just change your sheets and rest.
Now, your Korean was not exactly bad, you had a period in middle school where you were obsessed with Korea and K-pop, which you still enjoy but not in the same way you did as a kid. That being said, your Korean is a bit rusty, but nothing a little practice can’t fix. You can’t help but think how ironic it is — living your childhood dream, not because it’s still your dream, but because life decided to lead you here.
When you wake up the next morning, you decide to get breakfast somewhere before you start cleaning up around your new home, deciding to make it feel as homey as possible.
As you get your shoes on, you decided to check out google maps to get an idea about breakfast places around your area. After a bit of searching, a small bakery caught your eye, so you decide to walk over there.
Inside, a cashier greets you with a gentle smile, and as you dwell on your order, with her recommendation you decide to get their special cheesy croissant with a cup of coffee, something light for new beginnings.
You sit in the far back, looking over the bakery and enjoying its ambiance. You think about the big shopping you will have to do for your home, and since planes aren’t really tolerable about liquids, you dread the amount of cleaning and hygiene products you will have to get.
While being lost in your thoughts once again, you lock your eyes with a man sitting in a booth on the other side of the bakery. You try to steady your expression, so you don’t weird someone out with your sheer panic, but you can see under his face mask how his eyes crinkle into a smile, and you sheepishly look down at your croissant. The fear in you is slowly dissipating, surprised by the kindness of people on the literal first interaction of your new life.
As you walk back home, bags full of said supplies, you prepare for the day of work ahead of you. Not the work in your new company though, that starts in a week because they were kind enough to give you some time to settle. The real work awaiting is the dreaded unpacking, and you genuinely don’t know where to start.
After around 4 hours, you can finally, kind of, call this place your home. It has your old life on every corner, but also a generous space saved just for the new memories.
You decide to make a habit of visiting that breakfast place every morning, to have at-least one consistent thing until you settle.
The funny thing is, the man that smiled at you on your first day seems to be a regular, sometimes in a big group, sometimes alone, but he seems to remember you too. Always giving you a polite smile, although through a mask, but you do enjoy the routine.
After a week of breakfasts in the bakery and polite smiles, your first day at your new work place finally comes. You have been e-mailing with who you assume will be your mentor in the beginning, and you must admit they prepared you well.
You dressed for the day, a professional yet simple two piece suit you bought when you finished high school, that you genuinely loved more than most fashionable, expensive things you owned. The suit was a greenish color, with gold details in some places, enough to make you seem professional but still undoubtedly you.
The mentor was waiting for you in the hall of the company, which was, by the way, enormous. You actually didn’t research the building as much as you did the company itself, but everyone had their personal cards for entrance and multiple elevators, which was not common in your experience.
The mentors name was Emily, and she was also a foreigner, but she has been working for the company for a long time. She had your personal card already prepared, and took you around to get to know your new workplace. It’s an entertainment company, and you were placed with the marketing department thanks to your degree in English literature. Your position was there to expand their content abroad, and honestly you didn’t expect much with your degree so you were pleasantly surprised.
“So, basically, you are here to help with the international content and interactions, and also to help the idols improve their conversational skills. Most of them are good but not really confident, so you will just have to help them with that, eventually some phrases and slang that could be useful for better understanding with international fans,” Emily spoke while you two were walking around, preparing you for your future tasks. “I think you will get comfortable here right away, especially now when i take you to meet your colleagues.” She laughed, portraying the close bond employees here had.
As you took the elevator to the seventh floor, you spoke with Emily about work and life, enjoying the energy and feeling at ease. When the elevator bell dinged, you both walked out in a vast space full of cubicles.
“Cubicles are basically here for decorations, since most of us move around the company constantly, but you will have your own where you can keep your personal stuff and other documents you might need. We are mostly here during breaks to socialize and eat if we are not already going out for lunch.” Emily said while leading you to the resting area in the corner you didn’t even notice at first, filled with cushions and couches. Everyone was resting there, obviously on a break.
After talking and getting to know your colleagues for a bit, you were shown your cubicle. You placed your bag in there, just carrying your card with you and kept going around with Emily.
“Now,” she started excitedly “you will meet the idols you will be working with for the foreseeable future!” She was yapping as she led you to yet another elevator, this time going to the 12th floor.
“This meeting will be a bit more formal, not in a professional way, but they all decided to take an hour long break to socialize with you. Since you will be spending as much time with them as their managers, they hope you will get along well.” After that explanation, you started to get nervous again. You knew they were nowhere close to being your bosses but still, you were fearing making them annoyed and them deciding to get you fired or framed or worse.
Well, as soon as you entered the room, you realized you were worrying for no reason, because the very obvious managers were scolding a big group of grown men. You couldn’t fully understand what they were because you never heard Korean spoken in such an angry tone, which crossed your mind at that moment, but you clearly heard stuff like ‘fool’, ‘childish’ and ‘grow up’.
Emily laughed as she walked in, “great first impression guys, congratulations!” And at that moment, everyone looked at you. You scanned the room, at the still annoyed but a bit calmer now managers, some members looking at the ground uncomfortably while others tried to hold their laughter in, and a specific boy your eyes landed on, because as soon as he looked at you his eyes widened.
You were confused, why was he so surprised? But then again maybe he was unfamiliar with your arrival. You decided to introduce yourself right away, and they all, including the managers came to you to shake your hand.
“I’m sorry you walked in on that, Y/n, but these boys can be a bit too much sometimes.” The head manager named Jihoon commented, “they are great people but sometimes they play around like toddlers.”
You smiled, shaking your head. “No need to apologize sir, that was very refreshing to see, you should consider their first impression perfect.”
He laughed out loud, obviously comfortable, and kept the conversation going. After a few minutes of laughing, you looked around again, and similarly to last time your eyes landed on that one boy from earlier, looking carefully at you. As soon as your eyes connected though, he smiled. And you smiled back, although confused, until it clicked. He had quite similar eyes to the man you kept seeing in the bakery for the past week.
The realization was probably evident on your face since his smile turned into a smirk, but you decided to keep quiet because what are you gonna do? Tell an Asian man his eyes look familiar? That would be a terrible first impression.
After chatting until the end of the break, you and Emily packed up to leave. You spent some more time exploring the company with her before getting ready to leave.
“tomorrow will be your official first day working, so you will get the feel of how our department works. Also, i wanted to say earlier,” Emily says, while picking up her bag, “you don’t have to dress so formally, it’s actually even encouraged here to be comfortable.”
“Oh,” you said, now remembering that everyone really was wearing casual clothes, “okay, thank you for telling me.”
Emily laughed, before pulling out her phone and giving it to you. “Put your number in, so we can keep in touch.”
After coming home last night, you just showered and went to bed, to be ready for your official first day as Emily called it.
Before work, you decided to visit your dearest bakery, and after ordering your usual, you were about to pay before the same cashier from the first day stopped you.
“It’s all taken care of, don’t worry!” She said with a tease in her voice, winking. You were confused, insisting on paying but she just ushered you to your usual spot and kept laughing.
After quickly eating, you packed up to finally go to work, this time actually excited and dressed accordingly. You decided to take a walk unlike yesterday, because you realized how close it actually was. Congrats to anyone who was in charge of picking your apartment, they did such a good job.
After leaving your stuff at your cubicle, you went searching for Emily. She sent you a massage last night about today’s plan, since you two will be working together in the beginning. After finding her, you sat down in the common area with your laptops ready. You typed out the itinerary for the following week.
After that was done, you went up to where the group was to make content. The idea was to film them doing various trends and also to practice interactions since there was a fan call scheduled for tomorrow. As soon as you entered, the room quieted down and their attention was on you. As soon as they recognized you, the room erupted in a various versions of greetings.
This time around, the members were in a working mode, right away discussing ideas and asking questions. You interacted with everyone, although you let Emily lead the meeting just so you could see first hand what was expected of you.
You were listing ideas and taking notes until one of the members, Haechan, started teasing someone.
“Guys, Chenle hasn’t said anything for like half an hour, can you believe that? Be prepared everyone, bring out the masks and vitamins, he must be sick.”
He kept laughing like he just made the best joke world has ever heard, but Chenle, the boy who you saw every morning at the bakery, just kept looking at you.
You made a sorry face at him, trying to convey your empathy for him, but he just dramatically rolled his eyes and laughed, portraying that he doesn’t care about the teasing, which was a relief.
After finishing up with the group, Emily and you sat down to discuss how the first task of the day went.
“I’m pleased with how much they cooperated, i was expecting them to be on the edge since they rarely do something like this.” Emily commented, fidgeting with her fancy purple pen.
“What do you mean they don’t usually do this?” You asked, confusion evident on your face. “Isn’t this the whole point of the department?”
Emily looked at you with confusion, obviously not believing you asked that. “What do you mean what do I mean? you’re the first person we recruited, this is a newly invented position and you fit all the requirements.” Emily said like it was the most obvious thing ever.
You processed this, “so in some time, i will be doing all this alone?” Emily laughed at that, shaking her head. “Not really, but since you are the first you will be basically assigned the tasks of deciding how this department will work, and i will go back to the marketing department.”
You sulked, because you genuinely began to like Emily. She let out nothing short of a snort at your reaction. “Don’t be dramatic, we will still be working together since our departments are intertwined. You won’t miss me too much.” She winked at you and you just pushed her shoulder laughing.
The most amazing thing at the company is your 10am start time. Bakery opens up at 8am so you always have time to go and chill out before work. This morning, as you walked in, the waitress had your order ready, and you already predicted the conversation you will have.
“It’s all taken care of, miss.” She said with a polite smile. You sighed, letting out a weak laugh. “If this keeps happening, I will stop coming.” The worker laughed for real this time, shaking her head. “Please don’t, we enjoy having you here.”
At that, you felt touched, so you just thanked her and went to your seat. As soon as you sat down, someone joined you.
You looked up, and after seeing the familiar eyes, you froze. You almost called him by name, but you stopped yourself. He seemingly noticed, so he smiled even more.
“What are you doing?” You whisper-yelled, so the other people wont hear. He pretended to be shocked, placing a hand on his chest. “You wound me, I buy you breakfast two days in a row, and instead of thanking me, you have decided to scold me!” He sighs dramatically, feigning hurt.
You freeze at that, but only for a second, growing even madder. “What do you think you’re doing buying random people breakfast? What if the waitress knows who you are? What if she sells the information to dispatch that you are going around paying for a girl’s breakfast?” You huff, overly annoyed.
He laughs, getting closer, “relax, that’s my friend’s sister, shes not selling info to anyone, and even if she does, I’m just being a good colleague buying my new friend-employee a breakfast, just taking care of the company.” He says all smug, like that solved all his problems.
You roll your eyes, relaxing. “Whatever, just be careful, some patrons might recognize you.” He shook his head, still unserious, “with this good of a cover up? Impossible.”
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be in practice now? It’s 9am” you look at your clock, remembering their schedule. He shakes his head no, “we are divided in multiple units, mine is currently free” he says, finally a normal tone to his voice, and you think you hear an accent, but who are you to judge? Especially since his name also doesn’t sound Korean.
But you decide to ask anyway. “You’re also not from here, right?” He shakes his head, a nostalgic smile on his face. “But how long I’ve been here, it’s almost like I am.”
“Im Chinese,” he starts, “but i moved here when i was really young, i would say too young.” He laughed but it didn’t reach his eyes. You frowned, feeling heartbroken for him. “Do you visit home often?” You asked, curious.
He nodded, but it didn’t seem very happy. “When it’s about home, often isn’t enough.” He said, stirring the coffee you just now realized he had.
You sulked even more, “I’m starting to think it will never get easier then.” He lets out a breathy laugh, eyes crinkling. “You have never been far for home?” This time, it is you who shakes your head. “If you’re not counting vacations then yes. And for this long…” you sighed.
He tried to transfer conversation to the more positive side. “Where did you usually vacation? Which continent?” A smile slowly appeared on your lips, thinking of all the places you visited with your friends.
“During summer, we almost always went to Greece, our family friend had a vacation home there, and if we didn’t work we’d go and stay for months.” You hold these memories close to your heart, sandy beaches and ankle bracelets, flowy dresses and sandals. “But, in winter,” you continued, even more excited now, “in winter we usually went skiing in our country, the mountains there are gorgeous.”
He just stared at you while you were describing your hometown, in awe about how much love a person could hold for a place. “How long will you be staying here?” He asked, but what he really wanted to ask was how will you survive being so far from the place you love for so long.
You shook your shoulders, picking cuticles just thinking of it. “For a long time I guess, i don’t know how long though.”
He let out a shaky laugh, evidently compassionate. “You and me both.”
Soon after, it was time to go. Chenle offered you a ride but you refused, telling him you will see him at the company.
Today, you and Emily sat behind the screens while the members were doing their fan calls, helping from the back. Everything was going smoothly, you were walking around checking if anyone needed help.
But then, at one moment, you looked at Chenle and saw the way his eyebrows were close together, obviously annoyed. You calmly went to stand in front of him, waiting for a sign. He looked up at you, almost relieved.
You raised your eyebrows, trying to ask him what was wrong, but the call ended. He looked at you, mouthing ‘sasaeng’ before starting the next call. You frowned, annoyed that someone was bothering him, and making a mental note to discuss it later with him.
After the calls were done, Emily and you went to the office to print some things you needed for the next week’s schedule. Soon after it was lunchtime so you went up again to take a break with the members.
“What kind food do you want me to order?” Mark asked while playing on his phone. Other units left so there were only dreamies here.
Chenle turned to you, asking what would you prefer, and Jisung started teasing him for being unusually kind. Chenle rolled his eyes and said “she just got here, we should be respectful.”
You shrugged, “I’m okay with anything, but if you have some good Chinese place id prefer that.” It was now Renjuns turn to look at you, surprised by your pick.
“You like Chinese food? That seems kind of unexpected for some reason.” You laughed, trying to explain, “there are many Chinese fast food places where I’m from, so i enjoy it quite a lot.”
“Okay stop chatting, give me your orders before i die from hunger.” Mark groaned, and you could hear his stomach rumble. Everyone laughed at him but they told him their wishes anyways.
After eating, you helped Emily around with the tasks for her department because there is still not much for you to do. After helping her for a while, you packed up to go home.
The next day, as you were opening the doors of the bakery once again, you saw Chenle, waiting for you in your spot. Your eyes met so you slowly walked over to him and sat down.
“Will this be our thing now? Eating breakfast together every day?” you joked, but he nodded, not minding. “Why not? We both eat our breakfast here anyway.”
“I wanted to ask you,” you started, “before you used to come in a group, why are you alone everyday now?” He glanced up at you, from his mug. “I honestly forced the members to come here with me everyday because i love their coffee, but now since you’re here every morning anyways, I don’t have to.”
You snorted, not believing him. “What? Because you like their coffee? What kind of coffee do you get anyways?”
He rolled his eyes, playing offense, “iced vanilla late obviously, what else would i drink?” He looked at you, waiting for your response.
And you did not know what to say, because why is this boy drinking vanilla flavored cold milk every morning? What was wrong with him?
He noticed your disgust so he asked about your coffee order, which was the basic double espresso with cold milk and one sugar, and he pretended to vomit in his mouth. Very classy.
“You’re disgusted by my order? After drinking vanilla syrup with milk? How many pumps of vanilla do you get, 15? Tsk…” you teased him, but he did not let you win.
“Better to drink vanilla syrup than juice from the devil himself, what century are you in?” He rolled his eyes and swatted his hands like you were an inconvenience.
“Just admit you don’t like coffee and go away.” You told him as you burst into laugher together.
After going separate ways with the same destination, since you still refused to drive with him, you reached your cubicle.
And there, in your famous cubicle, waited a big to-go cup of coffee with a note reading ‘don’t judge it ‘till you try it’ and a phone number.
You discreetly saved the note in your phone case for later, hoping that no one saw who placed it there.
Emily was with you again today, but she mentioned that you will be doing this alone from tomorrow, which now didn’t seem that scary. After practicing English with the members and filming a few tiktoks per Haechans request, it was time for a break. As you sat down in the lounge, Chenle passed by you and cautiously pointed at his phone, probably signaling you to text him.
Overthinking what to send him would be obvious, and you did not want him to get ideas so you just sent a simple ‘hey?’
He responded within seconds, though.
Chenle: did i change your mind? ;)
You: it is not the worst thing ever, i will give you that
You: but i will stick with my order
Chenle: rude… but tomorrow i will try yours, deal?
You: deal.
He left you on read after that, probably going to practice, as his schedule said (not that you remembered it on purpose or anything, just an observation.)
That night, after showering, you decided to call your mother. You talked with your family almost every night, but time zones were weird and it was kind of hard to keep up with it. Your mother answered quickly, as she always did no matter the time, and as always, seeing her face made you relax and feel peaceful, until she started talking.
“Hey dear, how was work today?” She said with a smile on her face, but her voice sounded rough, like she has been crying.
“Mom, is everything alright home? You sound weird…” worry evident in your voice. She just shook her head, trying not to worry you, “it’s fine love, mom just went to the doctors today and had to do some more tests, but everything will be fine.”
You could already feel the tears brimming,knowing that she is lying just so you don’t worry. “I won’t pressure you mom, speak to me whenever you feel ready. Do you want to rest for the night?” You asked, trying not to show the tears. She just nodded, telling you that she loves you and to call tomorrow.
After the call ended, you couldn’t stop the tears. You wished you were home, so you could hold her and tell her you will help her with everything, but you were so far away that she didn’t even want to tell you what was wrong.
After crying your soul out, you changed into your exercise clothes and picked up your headphones to go on a run. You decided to go next to the river since it will be mostly empty this late at night.
After running for god knows how long, you sat down at a bench overlooking the bridge, and started to cry again. This time it was silent, just tears streaming down your face, but no sound coming out at all. Also, the song currently playing did not help at all.
I'm counting down the days
With my suitcase packed
All my built-up saudade could hardly fit
I can see the garden from the blue
Just behind the wing
Mom, look out the window, I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
I'm coming home
As you were looking at the grass, suddenly a shadow came looming over you, and you shot your head up quickly. After focusing your eyes, you realized there was Chenle in front of you.
He noticed the tears right away, but did not want to say anything, instead: “what are you listening to?” He asked casually, while sitting down next to you.
Instead of just answering, you handed him an earbud, so you could listen together, shoulder to shoulder. “Want me to show you the translation?” You offered, and then both of you were staring at your phone, feeling the lyrics more than reading them.
No matter how it may seem
I'll never belong to that city
The sea of people, the different sun
The concrete hills don't stir anything in me
They don't feel like home
When this part came on, you could notice it was not easy for him either. He was also a foreigner in an unfamiliar country, and even though he has been here for years, there is no place like home.
You listened to a few more songs together, just looking at the river sparkling with Seoul lights, so pretty yet so cold to you both.
When he got up, you expected him to go, just say goodbye and leave, but he turned to you. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go try your famous coffee.” Your eyes widened in shock. “At 1am? Where in hell could we get coffee?” He rolled his eyes, like you were stupid. “7-11, obviously?”
After entering through mechanic doors, you could only complain about the bad quality of coffee in grocery stores, and after a few minutes of you basically talking to yourself about arabica percentages and types of coffee and calling 7/11 a disgrace to the coffee culture, he just turned to you and asked “are you always this picky about coffee? How many times have we said coffee tonight anyways?” And honestly you were picky so there was nothing else you could do except shamefully nod, which made him burst into laughter.
After getting your coffees, you sat down at the booth in the corner, which seems to be the habit both of you have, you looked expectantly at Chenle while he was preparing to finally try your coffee order.
“I cant believe i agreed to this…” he sighed but you could only point out that this was his idea, which made him glare at you.
After he finally got the courage to try it, he made a sour face before looking confused, and with that same confusion he looked at you and said: “its actually not the worst thing I’ve ever drank.”
You grinned in victory, but couldn’t stop yourself from commenting “now imagine if it was in a proper cafe, how good it would be?”
He raised his eyebrow, offended, “who said i will try it again? This is a one time thing.” And now it was your turn to glare at him while he made fun of you.
After drinking your coffees, he walked you to your building and waved goodbye, but before you entered, he called for you.
“Yes?” You turned around, waiting for what he had to say. “Send me that first song we listened to!” He yelled across the street, and you laughed and showed him two thumbs up. He waited for you to walk inside before going his way, happy that you got home safe.
After sending him the link to the song, one thing led to another and you ended up texting the whole night, even falling asleep with your phone. Next morning when you arrived at the company, Emily looked at you like you were a ghost.
“Girl, are you sick? You seemed fine yesterday.” She asked, worry evident, but you just shrugged her off, yawning. “Everything is fine, i just slept terribly.” You said, leaving out an important detail.
“More like you haven’t slept at all…” Emily mumbled, still worried but a bit less now knowing you were okay.
At your cubicle, there was a to-go cup again today, but this time, your own order. You were too tired today to get up early enough for the bakery, which you assume Chenle was too, since on the note under the cup was written ‘your coffee is the right option for today only. Xoxo’
You saved this note too, discreetly hiding it in your wallet this time.
After finishing up with some paperwork, you headed up to visit the group. This time around, everyone was there.
The first one to greet you was the head manager, who was not there yesterday. “Hi, Y/n, were they tolerable these days?” He asked, feigning annoyance but obviously joking.
“They were amazing, you take care of them well sir.” You bowed to Jihoon, out of politeness. It was obvious how much he cared about the group.
“Y/n, can you come over here?” Haechan called you over to him, gesturing for you to hurry. You walked to the sofa where he was sat and hummed.
“Chenle and I want to sing a cover on the rooftop, can you film it?” He begged you with his hands, but you nodded right away. “Okay, do you guys want to change or?” But he shook his head, saying he wanted it to be ‘candid’.
As you were walking over to the elevator with them, you realized you have never been to the rooftop. But considering how tall the company building is, you were excited for the view, and Chenle noticed.
He pushed your shoulder gently, raising his eyebrows. And you just sheepishly looked at him mumbling “i love rooftops.” He took a mental note of that.
As soon as you exited the elevator, you gasped. “You can see the whole city from here!” You were still in awe, leaning on the edge. Chenle and Haechan just exchanged glances, finding your happiness endearing.
They called you over to the makeshift garden with benches on the other side of the rooftop, explaining that this is where they wanted to film it.
You started setting up the tripod and the small blue-tooth speaker, and Chenle went ahead and connected to it. “What will you guys sing?” You asked out of curiosity.
“Oh, Chenle insisted on this one song he found a few nights ago, what is it called? Forsake?” Your eyes landed on Chenle right away, and he gave you a confirming look. The song from your playlist you listened to that night.
“Are you guys sure? That song is not very popular…” you scratched your head in wonder, thinking of pros and cons. Chenle just sighed, “don’t go all professional now, Czennies will like whatever we post.”
“If you say so, i wont argue.” You smiled and finished setting up. They filmed three takes before they were pleased, and to be fair you expected this to take much longer. As you sat on the grass to watch the takes with them, Chenle scooted over to you, almost leaning on your shoulder. Haechan started rising his eyebrows and making hearts with his hands but Chenle ignored him and so did you.
After getting back down, you filmed some more dance trends with them before packing up to go home.
You have been laying in bed, freshly showered and about to fall asleep when your phone dinged.
Chenle: u up?
You: …yes?
Chenle: wanna go for a drive?
Chenle: im already outside :D
You: ….On my way
You got up and quickly got dressed, hair still wet from the shower, but since it was middle of June you honestly did not care.
As you ran out of the building, Chenle lowered his window and you hissed, running to his car. “You fool, what if someone sees you?!”
He just casually brings the window back up, not looking away from you. “Relax, it’s 1am, no one who is outside right now is sober enough to see me.” Then, his face darkened. “Why is your hair wet?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Uh, because i showered?” You looked at him quizzically. “What, you don’t own a hair dryer?” He raised his eyebrows even more somehow…
“I do, i just didn’t want you to wait for me.” He just scoffed, like you said the most irrational thing ever, and started driving. But after a minute, a sweater landed on your head. “Wear it, you’ll catch a cold.” You didn’t say anything, just placing the sweater around your shoulders, enjoying its smell.
After some time, he tossed you his phone too. You looked at him waiting for an explanation but he just glanced at you, one hand on a steering wheel. “Be my DJ for the night.”
You were in your own world, not talking, just enjoying the music together until he pulled over. You saw him opening his car door so you followed him outside. What you were not ready for was the view.
You didn’t usher a single word, just looking straight ahead, at the sparkly lights. “I left you speechless, didn’t I?” He smirked, obviously proud, and when you turned around to look at him, you couldn’t decide which view you liked more.
He noticed the unending awe on your face, slowly walking over to you. You couldn’t move your eyes away from him but he didn’t care. As soon as he was in front of you, he held out his hands to reach the zipper of your (his) sweater. “I told you to wear it properly, what if you get sick?” He sulked for a second before zipping you up to your neck, and walked over to the trunk of his car.
You were still looking at him, wondering what was he doing. He pulled out a blanket and a 7/11 bag. Now your trance was kind of broken so you asked him “what is that?”
“We are having a picnic, obviously.” He didn’t even glance at you, setting the blanket on the ground. “But what if someone sees us?” He rolled his eyes, “I’ve got a mask in my pocket and a cap on my head, and we will hear them before they see us.”
He just sat down, stretching his legs on the blanket as he looked expectantly at you. You joined him, music still playing from the car and you two just sat there, looking at the lights of Seoul that felt warmer every day.
You shared the snacks he bought, talking about your hometowns and things you missed, and the ways you cope with loneliness. But it wasn’t depressive, it wasn’t pitiful, it was sharing love for something new, and the paths you two ended up crossing.
After all the snacks were gone, Chenle fully laid down on the blanket, motioning for you to join him. “Do you like looking at the sky?” You nodded, half absent, “what is your favorite constellation?” He glanced at you, surprised by the question. “I don’t know whats it called in Korean…” you let out a dry laugh, “yeah, me neither.”
He shifted closer to you, fingers in front of your face, pointing at the sky. “I’ll just show you then.” And at that moment, you realized that language might be the most unnecessary thing in the world.
After he dropped you off, he got out of the car to walk you to the entrance. “Will you be able to get up early enough for our breakfast?” He nudged your shoulder. “I’m not the one who has to get up at 6 for practice, Chenle.” You nudged him back, laughing.
“Hey, it’s not my fault i have my first break before you even start working.” he pointed an accusatory finger at you, but his eyes were still smiling.
“See you tomorrow Chenle.” You said, about to take his sweater off. He held your hands in place though, just patting your head. “See you tomorrow, Y/n.”
You surprisingly woke up with ease in the morning. You got ready for the day and picked up your phone from the counter. There was only one notification, from Chenle.
Chenle: good morning dreamer, i arrived at our spot.
You typed out a quick response notifying him you will be arriving shortly. You couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach that erupted when he called it your spot. Trying to calm your blushing face down, you exited your apartment and hurried to the bakery.
As usual, your coffee and breakfast were at the table along with masked Chenle.
You made yourself comfortable in your seat, waving at him. “You slept well?” He asked, leaning on his hands. “Yeah, i actually woke up quite easily.” He just smiled at that.
“What about you,” you questioned, “how did you sleep?” He stretched his arms above his head. “Not bad, but i wish i had more time.”
You laughed sheepishly at that, mouthing sorry. He argued right away, “not your fault, it was my wish.”
You hummed, remembering a question you had for him. “What do your colleagues tell you when you walk out like that at night?”
He shrugged, “I don’t live in the dorms with them anymore, i moved out some time ago.” You nodded, “that’s the choice I would have made too in your place.” He just laughed. “You have no idea, trust me.”
Today the members were going to a talk show and you were supposed to accompany them. This was your first time going somewhere with them so you were curious about how it could go.
You drove with the managers, and Emily joined you today. As soon as you got there managers sat down to hang out while the band was ushered inside a beauty room to get ready. After about an hour of chatting with Emily, the boys emerged.
Chenle walked over to you right away, asking for opinion. This was your first time seeing him with makeup and lenses so it was an understatement that you quite liked how he looked. You were still just staring at him so Emily decided to vouch for you. “Y/n is at a loss for words Chenle, the makeup artist did so good today!” He just nodded at her and kept looking at you, waiting.
You finally, kind of, pulled yourself together. “They did so good, Le, you look amazing.” Chenle thanked you, a small smile on his face as he left. But, you could feel Emily’s eyes on you. “What?” You questioned, “Le? Really?” She wiggled her eyebrows, teasing you.
You just rolled your eyes, but had no excuse except “that’s the only part of his name i can pronounce properly.”
As soon as you finished talking with Emily, your phone dinged.
Chenle: didn’t realize you liked me that much :p
You blushed, realizing he will not let you live this down anytime soon.
You: makeup looks really good on you, Lele
You:i especially like the green lenses
Chenle: it’s not just makeup though, is it? ;)
You: quit teasing
You put your phone in your bag after that, deciding to make some content with the other members that weren’t currently being filmed. After packing up, everyone was sent home, which usually happens with schedules like this, so your work day was cut short.
The personal driver dropped you all off in front of the company, and as you were walking home someone beeped at you. When you turned to the side, you saw Chenle, Haechan and Mark in Chenle’s car.
You waved at them and they called you over. “Is everything okay?” They were blasting music and dancing. Mark started yelling “we rented a basketball court for today, want to come with us?” Chenle was looking at you from the drivers seat, basically begging you with your eyes.
“Why not, give me the address and i will go change.” You told them, but Chenle just said, “nah, we will wait outside your place, it’s along the way.”
After he left you in front of your building, you hurried inside to change into something comfortable, when you realized Chenle indirectly told them he knew where you lived.
In the car, Chenle couldn’t hear the end of it. “What do you mean her place is on the way? How do you know where she lives?” Haechan probed, not accepting Chenle’s dismissal. “Stop speaking, she will be back any minute, don’t make it weird.”
Mark gasped, “have you been seeing her outside of work?” Chenle slapped his forehead in distress. “Guys, i will tell you everything later, just don’t be dramatic in front of her, you’re making us look like fools.”
Haechan pouted, annoyed. “She already knows we are foolish, who are you trying to trick…”
The court was enormous with multiple gadgets, there was even an equipment used for solo playing that sent the balls back to you. You were glancing around, impressed, while the trio started playing right away. They tried to get you to play with them so they could play in pairs but you refused.
Your refusal was short lived though, because Haechan came running to you after 20 minutes begging you to join him. “They are ganging up on me, Y/n, this is bullying, you have to help me win!”
So here you are, running around the court with two amateurs and Chenle, which was unexpected. Like, Chenle was so good you wondered why is he even wasting time as an idol. This is a totally new side of him you never expected, but you did enjoy it quite a lot.
After 2 more games, you took a collective break. You picked up your phone to check for any mail, but as per usual, there were only messages from chenle.
Chenle: I’m accepting compliments all night, so keep them coming!
You tried hard not to laugh, typing out a quick message.
You: only tonight?
Chenle:well, every night, but you gotta admit that dunk was impressive
You: i would have been impressed if i wasn’t on the losing side :(
As soon as you sent him that, Chenle ended the break. “This time, Y/n will be playing with me.” Mark and Haechan complained, but it was useless.
This game was even more fun than the last, with Chenle passing you almost every single ball. He knew he was too good that you wouldn’t lose even with you leading the game, and you couldn’t call him cocky for that since it was technically true.
You were joking around, throwing the ball and attempting to do a three-pointer. Mark and Haechan were unserious too, just having fun, until Chenle decided to pick you up and make you dunk.
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. You got scared and started wiggling so Chenle almost dropped you.
“You fool, what are you wiggling around for?” You looked at him with wide eyes, “Me? Let me see how you react when a bear picks YOU up from your back!” He rolled his eyes, calling you dramatic while Mark and Haechan were still laughing.
When everyone calmed down, you sat down to rest once again, before getting ready to leave. As you were exiting, Mark quipped, “I didn’t know you two were so close.” Haechan winked, “how could they not be close, they are both grumpy!” Which earned him a in-sync side eye from both you and Chenle, but a dramatic nod from Mark.
Today you had a day off, so you already had a checklist in mind about everything you had to do. You have been slacking off around the house the last few days because of Chenle, so you decided that today was the day for cleaning.
You started your favorite playlist and got to work. After about an hour of cleaning, your phone started ringing. Obviously it was Chenle.
“Hey Y/n, we will be having lunch together at the Chinese place next to the company, wanna join?” Chenle started over the phone.
“What time? I still have some things to finish up.” You asked, looking around your living room.
“In like, two hours tops?” He guessed, and you just told him to text you when they got there.
After you cleaned up some more, you decided to start getting ready. The place wasn’t fancy but you still wanted to look nice. You picked out a long-sleeve dress and some flats, did your makeup as quickly as you could and let your hair air dry with a few clips holding it in place.
After Chenle sent you a text that they arrived, you exited your apartment.
As soon as you got there, the waitress asked you about the reservation. Chenle already texted you that it was under his name so you got in no problem. The waitress led you to a private room you didn’t even know existed, but being the closest place to SM ent., it made sense.
As soon as you entered, everyone got up to greet you. You sat down between Chenle and Renjun since that was the space that was saved for you. The food was already on the table, everyone sharing. You chatted for a bit, asking them about their activities as a group. Chenle transferred some meat to your bowl and you thanked him, but Jisung couldn’t keep quiet. “What is this, hyung? Since when were you so chivalrous?” But Chenle just ignored him, talking about the weather.
You bonded with the other members some more, since you really didn’t have a chance before. You and Renjun surprisingly hit it off really well, making other members joke about how you were his long lost twin.
By the time you guys decided to go your separate ways, it was already dark outside. The other members hailed a cab to go to their dorms, but Chenle said he parked kind of far so he started walking with you. The members obviously didn’t believe him, but they started to get used to your weird friendship with their co-member. And although they decided they wouldn’t say anything, everyone noticed Chenle was happier than before.
“Do you want me to pick you up again tonight?” Chenle mindlessly asked, still walking. You just nodded, the late night drives already became a habit.
“We should make our playlist, for the drives.” He pointed at his phone, and you pulled yours out right away, creating a mutual playlist on spotify and sending him the link.
He just smiled, telling you to prepare your favorites for tonight, before waving you goodbye right in front of your entrance.
He did pick you up later that night, and this time there were no stops, just constant driving and enjoying the music. You unlocked your phone, about to change the song, when Chenle called you.
You looked at him, expecting a recommendation, but he instead requested you to play some songs in your language. The one that first came to mind was a ballad you loved dearly, so you decided to play it for him.
No chance for us to reconcile
I will wait for you
Until your ruby lips speak no more
I will love you
Until my tears cloud the gloomy paths ahead
Who is it that no longer loves me, my worry,
And says they are leaving with another.
Be well, my fairy
May every path you walk be paved in gold.
You were looking at the streets, feeling the song in your bones. “What is it about?” Chenle inquired, and you had no better words to explain it than “loving someone while they are walking away, waiting for them to come back.”
He just nodded, appreciating the perspective. After a few more sad songs you decided to play around and play some fun summer hits. You both started singing and making choreographies in the limited space you had, laughing so much Chenle had to pull over.
After he stopped the car, the music stopped too, so you decided to use the opportunity to talk some more. You talked about your lives, about your dreams and places you would want to visit.
“that reminds me,” Chenle jumped, “this is still classified though so keep quiet!” he pointed a finger at you. You rolled your eyes but waited for this special information he had for you.
“Next week we will be going to Jeju for a beach project, and you will be coming with us.” He gave you a look that seemed happy.
“What am I supposed to do there?” You asked, thinking about what could they possibly do at the beach.
“It’s actually very casual, it’s an ep for our show, so we will just go there to play games and film regular content.” You nodded, remembering seeing the show a few times on youtube. You side-eyed him. “Should i bring a bathing suit?” He raised his eyebrows like you just said the stupidest thing ever, like he usually did. “Obviously, you should!”
Like clockwork, the next day you were notified about a three-day trip to Jeju with the group. They said your leave was scheduled five days from now, so you had enough time to prepare.
After going to the practice room for your meeting with the group, they asked you right away if you were notified about the trip. You nodded, and saw their excitement. Renjun ran up to you and held your hands. “We are going to have so much fun there, have you ever been to Jeju?” You shook your head. “This is my first time in Korea, remember?” Renjun just laughed, telling you what you needed to bring.
Chenle joined you two, and they told you about the best things in Jeju, including the food, and how excited they were to go there. Other members joked that you guys became a trio, but you couldn’t deny it.
The week passed by quickly, and before you knew it, you were already packing your bag for the work-trip. Chenle offered to video-call you to help with packing, but expectedly, he wasn’t very helpful.
“Have you packed socks?” Chenle asked while fixing his hair. You just stood there, looking at your phone that was leaning on a mug, hands on your hips. “Obviously, Chenle. That’s usually the first thing people pack.”
He feigned offense, “hey, we are going to an island, people often forget socks when going there!” You sighed, scratching your head. “I think that’s just you, Chenle…”
“Whatever,” he smiled. “What about our drive tonight?” You raised your eyebrows, in the middle of folding your sweats. "We have to get up at 5, are you mad?”
He just winked at you, still smiling. “Like that ever stopped us.”
Fast forward one packed suitcase later, you were on the passenger seat of Chenles car, already connected to the player. “What are your plans for tonight?” You asked mindlessly while searching for a song to play.
“Actually…” Chenle glanced at you sheepishly “I still haven’t packed.” You looked at him, deadpan. “That is somehow something i expected from you.” You messed up your hair to move it away from your face. “Need help?” He just grinned, nodding. “I thought you’d never ask.”
This was your first time going to his place, but you were excited because, Daegal, obviously. You haven’t had a chance to meet her yet but you received many pictures.
As soon as chenle swiped his card, you heard little taps of paws, and tiny barks. He didn’t even get to open the door before you were on your knees waiting for Daegal to jump in your arms. “If i knew you loved dogs this much, i would have brought her to our walks.” Chenle smiled endearingly, secretly very happy you loved his dearest pet.
Half an hour later though, he wasn’t as happy. “You said you came here to help me, yet here you are, cuddling with my dog…” you looked up at him, offended.
To be fair, you and Daegal were sat down on his bedroom floor, playing, and every time he asked you for opinion you mindlessly replied, too focused on the furry sweetheart in front of you.
He actually found it endearing, but he would never tell you that to your face.
You decided to be a good friend and help him after all. “I don’t even understand why are you packing, wont the stylists bring all the clothes you need? Like, pack a pair of sweats and some socks and let’s go.”
He just laughed at your rant, enjoying the view of your pouty face. “What if we decided to go out for dinner one night, you want me to go in sweats?” He raised his eyebrows, but you honestly saw no issue with that. “But you always go out in sweats and a mask, how will this be different?”
He just winked at you, “you will see when time comes.” But instead of being excited, you looked scared. “Does this mean i have to get something proper too?” Chenle just smacked his forehead, mumbling about you being a lost cause.
After Chenle packed, you chatted for a bit before deciding to go for one more drive before dropping you off at home to sleep. You dreaded waking up at five but it had to be done.
The flight was at 8, and the company organized a van to pick up staff in front of the building and to take them to the airport, but since you lived 15 minutes by foot from the company, and your bag was heavy, obviously Chenle offered to pick you up.
“This feels kind of weird.” You mumbled, glancing at the backseat full of your stuff. “Isn’t it weird that we are going together to the airport?, like, i know this is classified but what if someone leaked information about your flight and there are multiple fans there?”
Chenle just looked at you, “do you ever not panic?” You shot him an offended side-eye at that. You couldn’t say he was wrong, though.
As soon as you parked, Chenle pulled out a mask and a cap, his favorite disguise. You laughed at him but he just rolled his eyes, flipping you off. So chivalrous.
As soon as the word ‘chivalrous’ passed through your mind, though, you saw Chenle picking up both of your bags. You protested, asking him for your bag back, but he just ignored you. “Just walk with me and be pretty, that’s all you have to do.”
Turns out, it was a private plane too. Meaning, there were no other passengers on your plane. ‘How is that possible?” You ask, but who knows, genuinely. Just enjoy it while you can.
Also, the fact that it was a private plane also meant that Chenle took it upon himself to sit next to you. You noticed that other staff were looking at you, but they didn’t look annoyed, more-so pleased, so you felt at ease.
The flight wasn’t that long, around an hour, so you two just listened to music until Jisung joined you, complaining that Donghyuck has been bothering him.
You just laughed at that, patting his shoulder. “It has only been twenty minutes, is he really that mean?” Jisung just rolled his eyes. “It’s not that he is mean, he is just too loud. It’s too early in the morning to interact with him.” So you spent the rest of the flight listening to the two of them describing Jeju to you.
As you landed, you smelled salt in the air right away. You almost bounced with excitement, missing the beach. Chenle, obviously, noticed. He just patted your head while smiling.
There was a van waiting for you to take you to the hotel. The hotel itself was very close to the airport, but even closer to the beach which you found perfect. You realized you were not here on a break, but a little fun never killed a person.
As soon as you entered the hotel, managers said you had half an hour to rest and shower before getting to work. As you collected your room key, Jihoon, the manager, walked up to you.
“How are you feeling, are you not stressed?” He patted your back. Over time, you grew quite fond of him. He was always there to check up on you and see how you were doing.
You thanked him for asking, appreciating the gesture. He just nodded before adding, “also, i made sure you got a solo room if you get overwhelmed, you are the youngest on our team so i know it must be hard finding a mutual language with others.”
You felt your heart stutter at that, this man always shocked you with his kindness. “I could never thank you enough sir, thank you for taking care of me.”
“Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to thank me for. Also, boys might also appreciate being close to you, so i picked a room closer to them. You all get along well and are around the same age anyways” you thanked him for the millionth time for taking care of you before entering your room.
As you were getting out of the bathroom, you heard your phone ding.
Chenle: whats your room #?
You texted him the number and started getting dressed. A minute later there was a knock. You opened the door feigning annoyance “can i help you, sir?” He just rolled his eyes, entering past you.
“No one could help me, not even you.” Chenle dramatically exclaimed as he dropped on your bed. “Oh, stop being so dramatic.” You joked as you grabbed your hair brush.
So he just laid there while you were getting ready, just enjoying each-other’s presence.
When you met up with others in the lobby, there was already a van outside waiting for you. Today you will just be filming the intro for the show. Basically the filming crew was already there setting up. You just had to be there to film behind-the-scene content and help the boys with anything they might need.
The filming ended fairly quickly, and thankfully you brought your laptop there so you already prepared the files to forward to Emily on the drive back. The rest of the night everyone was free.
As soon as you entered the lobby, everyone went their separate ways, dreamies were running around for the intro so they were in need of a shower.
You were laying in your bed, scrolling mindlessly through social media when a notification popped up.
Chenle: wyd?
Chenle: can i come over? boys are leaving
You just replied with a thumbs up, not wasting time typing since you will see him in a second anyways.
As soon as you opened the door, he waltzed past you straight to the bed. “Since when do you ask for permission? You usually just notify me when you want to do something.”
Chenle just laughed, placing his arms underneath his head. “I can be nice, you know?” You shook your head gently. “Never said you weren’t.”
He laughed under his breath, motioning to you to come closer. As soon as you neared the bed, he patted the space next to him.
You tied your hair up while he made space for you, grabbing the headphones you always shared from the bedside table. He didn’t even blink, just reached out for the other one , their actions intertwined so naturally you’d think they were one.
“Any wishes?” He nudged you, his phone already connected. You just reached over and typed the name of the song that resonated with you currently.
You look so beautiful in this light
Your silhouette over me
The way it brings out the blue in your eyes
Is the Tenerife sea
And all of the voices surrounding us here
They just fade out when you take a breath
Just say the word and I will disappear
Into the wilderness
Should this be the last thing I see?
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need
Chenle was humming to the melody, while you played with your hands, enjoying the moment. You turned towards him, question on your tongue.
“Where are your bandmates? I thought they’d come with you.” You asked while taking out the headphones, motioning him to do the same. He just shrugged, “they wanted to drink, i wasn’t in the mood.”
You raised a brow. “And I wasn’t invited? Rude.” There was a flicker of warmth in his glance, “You were, I just wanted you here with me.”
“Oh, so that’s how it is.” A smile tugged on your lips while you leaned your head on his shoulder. “Your turn, DJ.”
In the morning, the sound of fists banging on your door woke you up. Your first reaction was to be annoyed, until realization settled that you were not home. A few seconds later, another realization came in a form of a body leaning on you.
You glanced at his sleeping face, panicking. “Chenle… wake up.” You shook him gently. He just groaned, curling into himself like a cat. You had no time to react before you heard scratching outside. “I really fucking hope you two are decent” was the last thing you heard before Renjun waltzed in with a pair of sweats in his hands.
He seemed kind of glad when he saw you two tangled up with the headphones, like he was granted another day of peace. “Of course,” he said with a chuckle, holding up the sweats. “Somehow, this is always how it goes with you two.”
Chenle finally started waking up, whining at the noise. Renjun didn’t even blink at that, just tossing the sweats at his head. “You were on a run, that’s why you weren’t in our room. Understood?” Chenle just covered his already-covered face with his hand, mumbling a “yessir.”
As soon as Chenle snuck out, Renjun looked at you mischievously. You dreaded the second his mouth opened.
“So…” you cut him off right away. “Don’t get ideas. We accidentally fell asleep.” His gaze lowered, but the smile on his lips was still evident. “I know, I’m just teasing you.” He swung his arm over your shoulders. “Thank you for being there for him, you are… exactly what he needed.”
You softened at that, turning to hug him. “He’s making this whole ‘moving across the world’ thing easier for me.” At that, Renjun just squeezed you tighter. “Trust me, you are doing the same for him.”
After Renjun left, you went to get ready for the day. You skipped makeup this time, since the spot for today was the nearest beach. You left your hair to air-dry and picked the only beachy dress you brought for the trip.
You were surprisingly the first to arrive in the lobby, which you didn’t expect after this morning’s fiasco. You suppose Renjun planned the whole ‘on the run’ thing in advance.
Unsurprisingly, Chenle and Renjun were next to arrive. “Guess I’m early. I didn’t expect to beat you two here.” Renjun smiled proudly. “You see, i like to plan ahead. Unlike some people.” Chenle just laughed dryly, unable to look you in the eyes. “Sorry I’m not a professional schemer.”
The schedule was hectic today, which means you didn’t get many opportunities to interact with Chenle. You felt it in your gut that he was being distant, but you didn’t want to overthink.
You didn’t want to pressure him, so you just continued with your daily tasks. Every time he passed by, though, he would look at you but never say a thing. You figured he was just focused on work so you didn’t panic.
By the time everything was done, it was already dark out. You returned to the hotel with the same van as this morning. As soon as you entered your room, you went to shower, secretly expecting a text from him by the time you got back. But there was nothing.
You got ready for bed, pretending you didn’t glance at your phone every five seconds, waiting. You were already giving up, almost drifting to sleep when you heard the specific ding.
Chenle: you still awake?
You:yes, everything okay?
You waited for the following text, but instead there was a knock. You hurried to get up, not thinking of your attire.
As you opened the door, the lights still off, only the hallway lamp showed your silhouette. He just looked over you, a slight glimmer in his eyes. “Not expecting me?”
You raised your eyebrows, confused, until you remembered you wore your cat pajamas to bed. Oh well…
All the tension that was there slowly dissipated. “Cute fit.” He said, leaning on the doorframe while trying (and failing) to keep a serious expression. You just rolled your eyes. “Ha-ha, very funny, Mister ‘never-had-a-bad-fit’.”
He just shook his head, coming closer to you. “Sorry for being distant, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You were genuinely shocked at this, eyes widening.
“What gave you the idea that i was uncomfortable?” You asked, bewildered.
You saw him fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt, obviously stressed. “I thought i overstepped… You always remind me to be discreet and distant, i was starting to think that that was your way of pushing me away.” His hand moved to his hair. “Renjun… he talked some sense into me.”
You felt your heart breaking at hearing his words. You moved closer to him, closing the door behind. “I would never, there is nothing i need more than you next to me,” you stepped even closer, placing your hands carefully around him. “It’s just… hard, you are an idol, i don’t want your life to fall apart just because i snuck in.”
He pulled you even closer, looking deeply into your eyes. “How dare you even think that? I’d let everything burn just so i could be with you.”
You stood like that for a while, savoring the proximity you never let yourself explore before this moment. He started swaying left to right, lulling you gently into calmness.
You closed your eyes, letting the warmth of his body sink in, every breath in sync. He gently lowered his lips on top of your head, a silent promise of devotion.
“This is different…” you mumbled, your head buried in his chest. “No…” he said softly, lifting your chin so your eyes met his. “This is how it was meant to be.”
The realization dawned on you, you can’t run. The intensity of your feelings is too much, that’s what scares you, but it is also what makes this whole thing so good. So, you don’t even want to run. Even if it burns, you’d burn with him, if it meant that you would find him in the flames.
So you don’t run. You stay put, breathe deeply and close your eyes. Waiting for the moment for him to make you his, and him yours.
And he does, kissing so gently it almost brigs the tears to your eyes, because, to be loved like this? That is priceless.
The next morning, you aren’t startled awake. Because this time, you expected it- you set the alarm. This morning is different.
Your first morning together.
Also the last day in Jeju. So you start packing to go home. Everyone is sleepy, there is that strange, buzzing feeling in the air that lingers at the end of every trip—even though this wasn’t exactly a vacation.
Everything is the same as always, meeting up in the lobby and getting in the van. Except this time Chenle is carrying your bag. And you are not complaining.
Renjun notices. Renjun notices everything. Renjun is also cocky. So Renjun naturally thinks this is his victory. (It is, but shh)
The van today has three seats in a row, so Chenle decided to sit next to you, and the third person in the row was, guess who? Renjun!
Chenle leaned over you, grabbing your seatbelt and pulling it across your lap, locking it in place. That earned him a loud snicker from Renjun, obviously.
“So…” Renjun started. “You two have worked it out?” He dramatically raised his eyebrows. “There was nothing to work out, Injunie, everything was fine.” Chenle sighed while locking his own seatbelt.
Renjun laughed even more “tell that to you from yesterday, i don’t think he was all that fine.”
When you landed back home, Chenle asked you to spend the evening at his place. “We don’t have work tomorrow anyways, and you already have all you might need for a sleepover in your bag.” You nodded, enjoying the sound of his engine. At first you thought it was crazy that he decided to leave his car at the airport for three whole days, but now? You are very much appreciating it.
Somewhere in the middle of the drive home, his hand found its way to your thigh, casual but deliberate. Without a word, you placed your palm over his, letting your fingers trace absent patterns across his knuckles. He smiled to himself, silently thanking whoever convinced him to get an automatic car.
He used every excuse to touch you. His fingers slipped into yours as you got out of the car, tangled gently in your hair as you walked to the door, then found your hand again in the elevator. It was like he’d finally been given the green light to be close to you, and he wasn’t about to waste a second of it.
As you entered his apartment, the quietness embraced you. He led you in, your bag on his shoulder still. Daegal was at the pet-sitters so she wasn’t able to welcome you back.
He placed your bag on the couch, and you got everything you needed for a shower out.
By the time you finished, the whole room felt transformed—lights dimmed, the bed neatly made, the TV humming softly with a movie queued, and bowls of popcorn waiting.
“You keep leaving me speechless.” You slowly moved closer to him. “All of this is for me?” He leaned close, kissing the corner of your lips. “Everything I do, is for you.”
He led you to the couch, immediately wrapping you up in a blanket. Pulling you close, he let you rest against his chest as the movie played. Your fingers absentmindedly traced his hand, caressing each digit with quiet care. Every so often, he would lift your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to a knuckle—a small, tender reminder of his presence.
During movie breaks, he peppered your face with soft kisses, savoring the little giggles that escaped you.
The next morning, you woke with your limbs tangled together. You glanced at his face, savoring the calmness of his expression. He looked beautiful while sleeping- you thought he always did, but this moment felt different, special, etched into your heart.
When he awoke, he insisted on making breakfast himself. You were worried, to be fair, until you walked into the kitchen and saw him working the stove.
“Do you know how good you look right now?” You gasped, slowly hugging him from the back. His free hand landed on yours, caressing gently. “I’m not so sure, can you prove it?” That earned him a smack on the head.
“That reminds me,” he started. “I have a date planned for us today, we are supposed to pick Daegal up at 4, so would you like to go to your place to get ready, or is here okay?” He recited while stirring the vegetables.
“Actually,” you started, still ogling the delicious-looking food, “i have a nice dress I packed because specific someone said we will go out while in Jeju… and yet we did not.”
He sheepishly scratched his head, “so i take that as a ‘no, I’m fine here’?”
“Yes, if you can handle it.” He just raised an eyebrow at that, thinking how bad could it be?Actually very bad, my friend, but not in a way you expected.
You still had clean clothes you didn’t get to wear in Jeju so they were used for picking Daegal up. She was so happy when she saw you two what she couldn’t stop jumping around. She cried so hard on the drive home because she was alone in the backseat.
The real problem for Chenle appeared when you started getting ready for the date. You had prepared the dining room table in advance as a makeup station, and Chenle found that detail endearing. He was waiting for the day he would have bits and pieces of you all around his space and this seemed like a first step.
What was the second step, you ask? He didn’t like that one as much. Actually… he liked it too much. Because how could he not? You, sitting down in his chair, with his towel around your body, legs crossed and hair damp, drawing the most sinful cat eye he has ever seen… how could he be a gentleman in these conditions?
He tried, desperately, not to stare, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He was on the verge of canceling the reservation multiple times just so he could keep looking at you like this.
But what’s the point of looking and not touching?
“Let me stop you there,” he walked over to your makeshift makeup station. “Follow me?” He asked while holding out his hand, his eyes sinful. But you werent that easy.
“But, where to?” You feigned innocence, “my makeup is still not done, i can’t go out like this.” He just moved closer, his face in front of yours. “Don’t play silly love,” his hand grabbed your cheeks gently, pursing your lips into a pout.
“To the bedroom, now.” He helped you up while leading the way. “We have more important things to do.”
The dinner was going great, Chenle rented a private room again, but that was to be expected. You shared a bottle of wine, since he wasn’t driving for a change, and you could proudly say you were enjoying yourself. One thing lead to another and Chenle convinced you to stay over again.
Daegal was waiting for you back at his apartment, and she was so excited when you got back, so you spent the rest of the night in the living room watching movies and cuddling with her. Both you and Chenle had work tomorrow so you decided to go to sleep early.
He was the first to fall asleep and you used those moments of solitude to consider your relationship. It’s not like you doubt his feelings or even your own, you are very sure of what you feel. You were just wondering, how will this work? With him being an idol and all? Your relationship will have to be a secret, obviously, but for how long? Will that secret ever end? Will you go to work tomorrow and pretend like you barely know each other? Who will he tell about you? There were so many questions you had no answer to. And you did not want to bother him with your insecurities but seriously, how will this work? That is a question for tomorrow, you guess, as you slowly drift off to sleep.
Chenle made breakfast again in the morning. You ate together and brushed teeth together and showered together, and then went your separate ways when you arrived at the company. You guess that is how your relationship will work too, both of you going your own ways while at work. That is not the issue, you prefer being professional anyways, the issue is… Pretending that there is nothing.
Chenle never directly told you to pretend, but its to be expected, right? You should be smart enough to know that, after all. You collected the papers from your cubicle while sighing deeply when Emily noticed you.
“Long time no see, how was the trip?” Emily pulled you into a hug and you sighed again but with relief. “It was really nice, Jeju is quite pretty.” She smiled, holding your shoulders. “I knew you would like it, but what’s wrong? You seem down?”
You just shook your head, ignoring your thoughts. “Nothing, really, just tired and all.” She just nodded, understanding it could be draining to travel for content. She has gone through that multiple times before you arrived, after all.
You arrived at the practice room where the members currently were, and they greeted you warmly. You just smiled, placing the papers down on the nearest table before feeling a presence behind you. You were about to turn around until you felt arms around you so you froze in place.
“Yo, Chenle, are you sure she accepted to be your girlfriend? She looks grossed out!” You heard Donghyuck yell from the other side of the room, and if possible, you froze even more. You were still unmoving when Chenle leaned his head on your shoulder, almost pouting. “I don’t know whats wrong with her, she was normal an hour ago.” He joked, but you still were shocked. You turned around, breaking his hug. “Can we talk? Privately?”
He led you to a storage room close by, seemingly worried. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I should have discussed it with you before publishing our business to everyone…” He was ranting but you just hugged him tightly, which shut him up.
“I wasn’t uncomfortable, I expected you to keep it a secret from everyone.” You confessed and you saw his eyebrows furrow together. “You are never a secret to me, Y/n. Not everyone will know, sadly, but you are nowhere close to a secret in my life.” You felt your eyes tearing up so you just buried your head in his chest. “How is everything so easy when I’m with you?” you mumbled but he just pulled you closer.
“You’re the only place I’ve ever felt at home.” and you could only nod, because what was there left to say?
