I’ve read a post about strict parents recently and because I’ve been dealing with similar problems during my childhood, I’ve decided to share a few sneaky tips for sneaky kids I discovered when I was younger. It won’t be anything like “I know what you feel like, you have to endure it“ or “You have my full emotional support“ because such advice are useless to be honest. I’ll just throw at you some tips and leave the morality and psychology stuff up to others to decide.
Feel free to add more.
1) Walk close to walls, the floor doesn't squeak there (or not so much).
2) Think of a lie in advance in case you get caught.
3) The best lie must be believable and should be partly truth. It's been prooved that you'll remember truth easier.
4) If you lie, don't tell too many details, it's suspicious and you'll just get tangled in your own lies.
5) Never show emotions, especially when caught. If you flinch when someone surprises you, it's basically an evidence that you're doing something forbidden.
6) Always. Wear. Socks. Bare feet slap, shoes clap.
7) Breathing through your mouth wide opened looks stupid, but is quieter than breathing through your nose or holding breath. Plus it helps you calm down when nervous.
8) Climbing on roofs is usually surprisingly loud (don't believe action films).
9) Climbing on trees requires strength and good balance. You also probably won't get up there if there's no good branch in reachable distance. Google more about climbing trees, there are more rules.
10) Never tell too much about yourself, you never know what can someone use against you.
11) Learn more about lying and the psychology of it, it’s quite interesting and a lot more complex theme than I’m telling here.
12) Absolutely do NOT write diaries, even in a phone. It’s hard to hide something for a long time. One day you’ll lose attention and someone will find out.
13) Listen, observe, think about the aftermath.
14) It's good to have a plan, but don't rely on it too much. Coincidence is a bitch, learn to improvise.
15) If you have things you don't want your parents to see, don’t hide them in your room, it's dangerous. If possible, hide them outside the house, but on places you go regulary so it's not obvious (near school, library, grandmas house...).
16) Trust your intuition. If you feel like something's wrong (or could be), it's usually true.
17) It's good to have someone to rely on, but it's also good to check from time to time if they don't spy on you (ok this one sounds pretty paranoic, heh...).
18) Be a bit unpredictable so people don't mind when you do something off beat.
19) If you can, wear a small pocket knife always with you. Not exactly for defense, only because it’s useful.
20) Unlike action films taught us, black clothes are quite visible in the night. Wear darkish blue, grey, green or brown instead and adapt the colours to the environment you’ll gonna move in: grey/blue = city, green/brown = country. Camo clothes are the best, but remember you’ll be very suspicious when caught.
22) Watch out for things that make noise – keys, glass bottles (wrap them in cloth), anything metal that can jingle.
23) Look where you step, if you don’t see where you step, carefully reach there with your hand first. Even at well known places – some unexpected obstacle could appear there (toys, shards, wet floor, hole, branches…).
24) When you need some light, use a flashlight partly wrapped in dark foil or cloth so the light won’t be too strong. Use only as much light as you need to move around safely. Matches, candles and lighters are shit, they just dazzle you and you lose your night vision plus the light can be seen from a great distance.
25) Full night vision comes after ca 15 min. Once you lose it, you’ll have to start again from the beginning.
26) Watch out for your shadow, it can betray you.
27) If you close your eyes, your other senses will intensify.
Well, that's probably it. Those tips could save you in some situations, but don't misuse them ;) Handle with responsibility. Also don't end like me, a bit paranoic person with trust issues. Sorry for my English and for a long post, here's a potato 🥔
So did anyone else spend their childhood being called "mature" and told you "act older than your age" and then during/after middle school everyone was suddenly telling you to grow up and "act your age"?
