#closing chapters

[maddieisnotreal]

birds of america by lorrie moore // snow and dirty rain by richard siken // motion sickness - phoebe bridgers // quote by katherine mansfield // normal people (2020) // night shift - lucy dacus // all about love by bell hooks // underneath by jorie graham // faithful and virtuous night by louise glück // god’s silence by franz wright

[taweetie]

x: malicknoir

[livingpreppywearingpearls]

I guess I finally realized that this was the end. This was where I had to close the chapter, This is where I had to change my perspective, this is where I had to grow up, this is what I had to do for me now. This is it. I used to think that you were the one and that I would marry you but I guess I made a fool out of myself thinking that. You go through the days thinking this is it, this is the one and a month later your in the bath trying to drink the pain away wondering how the hell did you end up like this? Truth of the matter is, I will always love you, you never collectively stop loving someone you just learn how to cope with them not being there you learn how to get through, your brain adjusts and you keep yourself busy trying not to think about it all, but somehow it creeps up on you and your back to thinking about it again. You think about the way he touches you the way he traced your skin, the way he looked at you like you were the only person who mattered in the whole world, but here you are sitting in a bath tub, drunk, hammered out of your mind, tears streaming down your face, wondering how the hell you made it here. I passed the chapter where I cried myself to sleep every night, I passed the chapter where I drank every night to numb myself, I passed the chapter where I screamed in pain and held your sweater close, I passed the chapter where I drove by your house to check to make sure I knew you were home, the safe place, the place where I knew no one would catch a glance at you, I passed the chapter where I had couldn’t take down the photos off the wall of us, I passed the chapters and those I thought were the hardest chapters to pass and read through and write but closing the book, writing the final chapter, passing through the final chapter is harder than I thought. Its closure, its the ending, its bittersweet. But the thing is that he’s gone and you’re trying to let this go with him but it just won’t leave and you just can’t forget. this is an ache like lazarus; it is alive when it shouldn’t be, it is back and bigger than ever. it hurts that the memories are so soft and at the same time so goddamn much like a wrecking ball. he was never as gentle as you remember. this was never as perfect as your naive high school eyes saw it. it’s hard to let go when the hurt is a leech and you are always bleeding. it’s hard to breathe easy when your head is always underwater. And honestly all I want to do is close the fucking chapter on him, all I want to do is let go and move on and all I want to do is just just let him go, he’s never coming back, there will never be another chance.

Kaitlyne Smith

Love you JR.... yours truly... KS

[timeless-clarity]

Blocking old friends doesn’t have to be sad or heavy. It’s a psychic emotional barrier and a commitment to yourself:

Due to our incompatibility, we will make no more memories together. I’m free to be myself online without feeling watched.

[emotional-landmines]

No matter how much I wanted to keep holding on to what was, I had to force myself to accept things for what they are now. I forced myself to let go. There was nothing left to hold on to. There was nothing worth hoping for, nothing worth staying for, nothing worth waiting for anymore. I was holding on to memories, a love long gone, a troubled past, illusions.. I was lost on what I thought could've been in my head, what I wanted so bad to be but realistically it could've never been. I finally understood that I'm worth so much more than confusion, indecisiveness, lack of clarity, being kept on hold, being kept guessing, wondering. I deserve better and no matter how much I wanted you to be, you were never gonna be better for me. I released what was no longer meant for me. I'm on my way to finding whats destined for me.

[ddlc3177]

[ddlc3177]

[wickedzeevyln]

Satisfaction

This eloquent passage reflects on the significance of closure and transition in life. It emphasizes the importance of speaking one's truth with authenticity and gratitude as the chapter concludes.

In the end, yes, that end, it’s about speaking your truth to say thank you, I had the time of my life and I’m departing with a heart for a luggage filled with the best memories I chose to experience. What purpose does breathing serve other than living? Up or down, we go through experiences, things may not always go our way or may not even end the way want it, but how was it spent and what…

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