April 4th, 2019: Doctor’s Appointment: Journal
Today I met with my psychiatrist. We talked about services for the summer and for next school year. She said she is all for me having supports but wanted to make sure that everything was connected and not ‘fragmented.’ She wanted everything to fit together. She said she would talk to the mental health care coordinator regarding services and such. She said she doesn’t think the CMHA First Step Psychosis program is something that I need and she said because of the things we talked about, she would like to talk to the mental health care coordinator regarding the things we talked about previously (which I don’t know what she’s talking about exactly).
She asked me what I thought about classes ending tomorrow and I said I was glad for that because the school year is almost over and then I can go home for the summer. She asked me what I planned to do for the summer and I said I hoped to read and do things for myself. We talked a little bit about my motivation and how it’s hard to do my readings for classes and how sometimes I read things and it doesn’t make that much sense to me. We talked about my past depression and how it made me lack motivation to do things, but I do lack motivation now, but it’s not due to my mood. It’s because the voices are draining, and it makes me not want to do things. It also makes it really hard to do things and because of that, I just don’t do them.
My doctor and I also talked about exams and she said she hopes that they go well and that I will be able to study. I mentioned how when I try to read things, I know its in English, but sometimes the words won’t make sense or will feel foreign to me. We talked about the voices, but not a lot. I just said they felt worse and she asked what they were saying I told her some things. But I said I don’t write down what they say all the time because they talk a lot and it wouldn’t be feasible.
She said she would talk to the mental health care coordinator about some things and see what kind of help I can get. We talked about services I’ve had in the past that were helpful and I said that I would go to the local CMHA close to my parents’ house and that I would go there for groups and stuff. But I don’t drive anymore so that’s not really an option. We talked about my dislike for driving and because others are not always predictable when driving, I try to avoid it. We also talked Intensive Case Management and how that services was helpful because I was able to see someone every week and they would come to my house and meet with me there. She asked why that was helpful and I said it was because I was able to check-in with someone. She asked me if I wanted to meet with next Thursday for a half hour and then she realized that I had an exam and said that might not be a good idea. But we have an appointment scheduled for 2 weeks from today (I don’t have an exam on that day) so she said she would see me then.
She didn’t change my medication. But she gave me a new script for the Seroquel immediate release tablets. She said the new script will make the pharmacy aware that the dosage was changed from 25-50mg to 75mg (which was changed last time we met, but I had enough so I never went to the pharmacy). She said that way they aren’t confused and that it makes sense for them. I honestly hope things don’t continue to get worse because I honestly am having a really hard time. In a way I’m glad my meds aren’t increased, but I feel like things are going to keep getting harder and I don’t know what else I’m going to do.
Upcoming Appointments:
SAS Advisor- April 8th at 1pm
Therapist- April 15th at 10am
Psychiatrist- April 18th at 9am
Meds:
Fetzima 120mg
Seroquel 75mg
Seroquel XR 400mg
