Everyone nowadays are busy chasing after something. Something that is considerable important to them [or may seem important]. We are chase it day in and day out, circling to what is seemingly unending loop. Trapped to the psychology that what we are all after can only satisfy us.
I don’t mean to judge for I am nothing but a person who chases something too, just like you and everybody else. However, recently I was being rebuked by an event in my life that I can only assume that “we can stop chasing if only we open up our eyes”.
All my life, and time, and strength, I have been treating every moment as an opportunity to implement my own agenda. That is to put myself important than anyone else. That every situation shall cater my own needs. That everyone surrounding me are people yet at the same time a platform for me to get closer towards my dreams and desire.
Until I realized that in the entirety of my life I have missed, however, moments and people because I was focused and locked in to the endless chase to my selfishness. I forgot to love. To listen. To reach out. To talk. To become a friend. To be available for someone. I missed out. Until I realized that a dear friend of mine died. He never died literally. Yet I have seen in his eyes that he has been lost for a time now. He lost the passion - to read, to write, to draw, to sing, to express the creativity inside him. He lost the compassion and kindness. He became lonely and have decided to isolate himself for he became ashamed of what he has become - a dreaded person, left by moments. Or at least that is what he considered himself.
“I am sorry. I am sorry for missing the chances of talking to you and being available for you. Those moments that you need me the most, I have become rather busy that even you have become insignificant to me. You and your life stories.” I told him with all my heart. At that moment, we were left silent. Then he spoke up, “You are always forgiven. Moments might have slipped in your hands but every glimpse of brokenness is part of your growth. What you missed is in the past, you can have your way for tomorrow.”
“You can always make up with yourself.” This is not for you to make amends for your mistakes. This is for you to reconnect to what you have missed and lost the most - yourself.
Maybe what we have been chasing after is worthless not until we realize that we can stop now, that we can stop running, for what we need to do is reconnect to ourselves. The life, the creativity, the passion, the love, the moments, the memories, the stories, the laughter, the rainy days, the summer - every make up, every caverns of our soul.
The hope we have, still lives in. Reconnect to yourself, and then look around. Instead of being self-involved be a person that participates to the people. Talk to them. Listen to them. Maybe what we need to chase after is the desire to sit down and be available to somebody today.
