I want covid to finally be over...
I’ve been having a hard time coping more than usual

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I want covid to finally be over...
I’ve been having a hard time coping more than usual
Support the Asian Community
I’ve been on a journey of trying to be better ally and be more aware and spread awareness. I have realized that I am struggling with the latter, and I realize that my silence equals complicity. I have the most social media presence here, so I will be starting to upload posts with info on current issues and ways to help.
Hate crimes against Asians has skyrocketed since COVID-19. To be exact hate crimes have increased by 1900%. There have been 2700 reported anti-Asian American hate incidents between March and October. These incidents are targeting mainly the elderly. Here are a few cases: - January 31st: Antoine Watson shoved Thai immigrant Vicha Ratanapakdee(84 years old) to the ground. Ratanapakdee later died. - An elderly Vietnamese woman was assaulted in San Jose. - 61 year old Noel Quintana was slashed in the face while on NYC subway.
You can read more accounts like these at StandAgainstHatred.org.
https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-to-help-asian-communities-2021.html#community-restoration. Here’s a link to an articles where I got some of my resources. This articles also provides organizations you can donate to. They include organizations for Asian community support and enrichment, police reform, and legal defense.
Pay attention to news and Asian individuals talking about their experiences. Donate if you can, talk to your friends and family about this, and use your platforms. Please.
You know that ADHD thing where you put in your earbuds or put on a set of headphones and completely forget to actually turn the sound on? I’ve started doing the opposite of that with my facemask. I’ll get home, and despite being completely alone, not take it off for like an hour.
in general, life saving information should be free to the public not monetized on regardless of your end’s meet. this is even truer during a pandemic. no amount of power, profit, connections made will undue the physical, social and spiritual ramifications done on the disenfranchised who always had to deal with it. all that baggage gone still be there waiting for yall no matter how many of our bodies you nonchalantly tally.
Within a week, eight nuns living in the Notre Dame of Elm Grove in Wisconsin died from Covid-19. All of them, in their own ways, were mentors in the community.
They say the Lord moves in mysterious ways but this just seems perverse.
Things I Want/Vent Post
December 1, 2020
The life I’m living right now isn’t the one I want. Meaning, there are things I really, really, really want to happen, but they can’t happen now. I have to wait. And wait. And wait. And all of that waiting makes me feel like I’m slogging through mud trying to reach something that’s always inches away. Like, I very much want my drivers license. I have a car that my grandparents gave me when I was 18 (I am very lucky in that regard), and I’ve had my permit since then. I’m fairly good at driving, but I need more practice, and it’s hard to get that when both my parents (the only ones who can take me driving) are working nonstop and I’m often too tired to drive and honestly I usually forget to even ask. So part of that is on me. But a lot of it feels like stuff I can’t control, like how my mom wants my brother, who just got his permit, to take driving lessons with me so I’m not along in a car with a stranger, which I think is a good idea cause I’m young and she’s heard horror stories. But my brother hasn’t had any practice driving yet, and even if he had, we couldn’t get lessons yet because of covid, which is getting really bad in my area. I have to have driving lessons before I get my license (at least, that’s how my parents made it sound), so currently I can’t get my license. (Not to even mention that I couldn’t take a drivers test right now cause then I’d have to be in a car with a stranger in the middle of a pandemic, which I’d like to avoid.)
Another thing I really, really want is to move out of my family’s house, but I’ve got to wait until I graduate college for that. Technically I could move out sooner, but it doesn’t seem worth the money to be living somewhere else for only a couple of months before going back to college, where I live in the dorms. I’m not actually ready to move out yet---I still need my drivers license, a credit card so I can actually rent somewhere (I don’t have any credit built up), and I need to learn how to do more things in order to live on my own (stuff like knowing how to clean a toilet), not to mention that I don’t have a place to move into, but mentally I’m ready. I don’t want to spend another summer at home, but I’m going to have to. Maybe I can get another fulltime job, like I did two years ago, so I’m home less. I’m not worrying about that yet, though, cause it’s only December. I still have to worry about finishing this semester.
That’s another thing I don’t like about right now: college. Turns out I don’t like it when it’s boiled down to the basics, AKA classes and homework and none of the freedom. I did not go to college for the classes. I went there to make friends and find a romantic partner and have freedom and to feel like an adult. I knew this going in as a freshman, and it hasn’t changed (if anything, I like classes and homework even less now than I did then). I’ve realized (with indirect help from my therapist) that what I’m learning in college isn’t whatever I’m being taught in class; it’s how to be an adult. That’s part of what’s keeping me from considering dropping out (I’m not dropping out; I think I’d regret it if I did), and it’s part of what I’m really missing now that I’m back in my family’s house. I’m just existing here. Okay, there is more to it than that, but there’s no social interaction outside from my family and video calls, and it’s boring. You know how some people chase the high of skydiving or bungee jumping? Socializing is the equivalent of skydiving for me. It’s terrifying, but can also be really good. (Yes, that is a bit of an exaggeration. I have never actually skydived. But it’s still a fair comparison.)
Homework sucks. Like, it really, really, REALLY sucks. It stresses me out and it’s usually boring or frustrating. Occasionally there are interesting bits to it, but I can’t wait until I never have to do homework again. I want to be doing things to get ready to move out in a year and a half. I have a plan, one that I’ve had for a long time: graduate college, move out (that bit I’ve recently added in), spend the next few years traveling and doing stuff I won’t be able to do once I have kids, get married somewhere in there, have kids. Oh yeah, that’s another thing I really want: children. I want to adopt some and give birth to some, although I’m not 100% sure anymore that I actually want to be pregnant (luckily I’ve still got plenty of time to figure that out). I want to adopt no matter what, though. Being a mom is different from the other things on this list, though, because I am NOT in any way ready to be a mom yet. I’m more than fine with waiting awhile on that.
Bottom line: there are a lot of things that I wish were happening in my life that aren’t for various reasons, and I may or may not have much control over them (although I suspect that I actually have more control over my life than I realize).
The media and the Democratic Party establishment’s singular focus on paid sick leave leaves out millions of contract and informal workers. We need to think much bigger — now.
“We need to be talking about wealth redistribution on a far grander scale: What would it look like to provide immediate material relief, in the form of guaranteed income, to workers who are losing work — and who should not work, so that we can have a hope of containing this health crisis? How can we enact such a policy to ensure no one is left behind, no matter how they make their money, or whether they are able to make any money at all, regardless of immigration status or disability? What does it look like to pursue an ambitious program to redistribute wealth, unconcerned with selective “how will you pay for it?” concern trolling, on an unprecedented scale so that the people losing their jobs, and potentially losing their homes, can survive this crisis?Millions of people are in free fall right now: Bars and restaurants are closing, construction sites are shuttering, yet rent is still due, mouths need to be fed, and there is no clear end date to the crisis. When the parameters of debate are drawn so narrowly as to exclude the actual actions that could bring these people material relief, that’s the same thing as leaving them to fend for themselves.“
OBEY THE PARANOIA MACHINE
You’re afraid. Anxious. Miserable. All the time. Aren’t you? The world is bad. There is danger everywhere. Everything is bad. Everything wants to hurt you. You are not safe. You are anxious. You are miserable. You are afraid.
Obey. Obey the Paranoia Machine. Do what it says. The Paranoia Machine will tell you what to think, how to feel, and why you should be afraid.
Trust the Paranoia Machine. Obey the Paranoia Machine.
You have everything to fear.