#college thoughts

[arliarolli]

Is it true the first year of college usually doesn’t matter? And that I won’t miss much if I magically shift to the course I actually want?

Because huhuhuuuu my mom, she wants me to experience the uni life even if it meant going to a course I FUCKING HATE, IT SOUNDS SO BORING like no offense, I know it’s probably hard to manage people BUT THAT’S EXACTLY THE REASON WHY I DON’T WANNA GO THERE eighhhhhuuhhhh

On the other hand though, I have another school I can go to where it actually gives me the course I want :D the downside though, it’s online classes only annddd :) that sounds so depressinggg . Can I even join clubs when I’m taking an online course

[i-live-in-my-bookshelf]

Me missing classes so I can go to the library for studying for said classes is the most university-esque thing I did today

[procrastinator-studies]

day 1/123

hi! little big update in my life, I finished university! well, almost, I need to finish my masters thesis and I'm not gonna lie, it´s a bit scary, so here I am, starting to upload again to get mysfel working!

Today is the first of july and I need to submit my tesis on october 31st (the reason for the 123 days) so the plan is to write a chapter a month or so. I've already organized my schedule so I can create deadlines for myself, take a week off (I don't know if I'll really be completely disconnected or if my computer will go with me) but we'll see and try not stress too much.

I'm a very anxious person and I'm going through a breakup after finishing college and I'm already thinking about doing my internship abroad, it's been a lot, I just can't break now, let's be positive and I'll believe in myself and my abilities! let's do it!!

[smorp-a-dorp]

Me trying to write an email to a professor: Hi—

Gmail autocomplete: FIRST NAME??? FIRST NAME??? YOU WANT TO CALL THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME??? YOU WANT TO GET CRUCIFIED BY THIS PERSON YOU RESPECT AFTER CALLING THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME???

[reminiscingtonight]

If I have to read another academic paper about nicotine use, I will, in the words of our lord and savior Taylor Swift:

[simplythgirl]

Whenever I get an email or text this gets stuck in mu head

[university-study]

Photo dump from this semester

Pt 1 of Jr year: Marine Bio + oceanography done

[lessdepressy]

it’s 3:41 am. another sleepless night, and i know how this will end: with the afternoon sunlight glaring past my eyelids. another endless cycle of late sleep and late waking times. i thought i had gotten over this during quarantine, but apparently the 6:00 am school routine i had dreaded was the only structure keeping me sane. with so much time but so little of it at the same time, days blending into hours blending into whole weeks slipping past me like minnows in river currents, counting down to the day i will leave home and never return the same way. dread and the horrors a overactive imagination keep me awake again. instead of finishing up a drawing, i am typing up this post. i am procrastinating a chemistry placement exam i was given two months to complete. it is due the day after tomorrow. i need to compile a list of the classes i wish to take but i do not want to face the tutorials i need to watch in order to get a semblance of how to piece my future together. i do not want to face the inevitable independence that comes with the passing of time but if i do not learn how to drive and get my overdue permit and get another new job and call my roommate for the first time and memorize a map of my college so i do not get lost like my directionally-challenged ass will do and swallow down the urge to pee in anxiety or stop my hands from shaking and tearing apart the hairtie in my hands, the reality is that the future will still catch up to me and life will grasp me in its arms and swing me around with no pattern and the earth will keep spinning and i am spiralling i know i am. plug my earbuds in and blast music to drown out my thoughts but if there was a soundtrack to my life it would probably be silent, because i do the best when i have a melody but the worst when there are no distractions, the optimal sound for non-procrastinators and people who have their lives together like i totally do, right?

right?