Space Mayhem

they/them/he || infp-t || 22 || BSc astrophysics Talk ETs with me

[quasar-concept]

Happy Art-Fighting!

[c24c24]

Ilya after an Ottawa vs Boston game “Sorry boys, I can’t go out tonight. The old ball and chain wants me home.”

“…You mean Hollzy?”

“First of all, Shane would never chain me down, he picks me up he is the wind beneath my wings. He is the light of my life my moon and my stars. He doesn’t bring me down, he raises me up. Don’t you dare ever fucking suggest that again. I meant Cliff Marlow. We’re cooking him dinner.”

[minloafie]

Drew Light Yagami for a friend!

[wannabetonthat]

Idk if this is a controversial headcanon or not, but I can't imagine Small Shane Hollander being shy and anxious.

He strikes me as the type of kid who really didn't give a single fuck. Not a one. He was doing his own thing and having fun and being good at it, and whether he had friends or not really wasn't a concern for him because it's not like he wanted to hang out with other gross stupid kids. He was a haughty nonchalant child who didn't even register any kind of bullying attempt from fucking Jimmy, bc who cares about Jimmy?

Any kind of feeling of inadequacy came after puberty when other kids started being slightly more interesting and complex and he became the younger kid on his teams instead of just one more of the lot. When hockey practice actually started to need some team synergy and the dynamics changed on him.

But before that, that kid wasn't shy, and he was having a wonderful time

Ilya Rozanov on the other hand...

[mutinsfromthemoon]

they don't have a problem with showering together at the locker room actually because they don't need to hide or rush or use it as an excuse for sex. shower sex was never really about the shower it was just so shane could moan as loud as he wanted in hotels without people in the other room hearing. now they actually use the shower to debrief and gossip and just talk about the game they played and strategies. the problem actually is both of them losing track of time because they’ll just stand there sharing the shower and chatting like they’re at home and then shower together again at home and talk about all the things they couldn’t in the locker room. it doesn’t mean they don’t have sex shower anymore, it’s just they can have sex in more comfortable places and showering together is now bonding time

[bloominflowers]

thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;

[mymoonandmyshane]

its obvious to the centaurs when shane and ilya are fighting. not because theyre arguing and yelling at each other all the time, but because they are perfectly cordial to each other during practice. they dont chirp, bicker about plays, or roll their eyes at the other’s antics. they bring valid criticsm and advice just like they would any other day, but its all perfectly professional.

im imagining theyre doing drills and shane’s like: your speed’s good but you could be sharper when turning

and ilya goes: okay thanks for the feedback, you could be more aggressive during a board battle for the puck

shane: will do, thank you

all the centaurs internally: fuckkkk theyre saying “thank you” to each other for correcting their hockey, do we need a marriage counselor?

crucially their fights usually only last a day or two, so one day the centaurs are at defcon 2 trying to force them into a closet to make out up, and the next theyre breathing sighs of relief at shane calling ilya an asshole

[thoughtsthinksandthings]

Headcanon that baby Shane has a slight accent when speaking English, and it's for a super unexpected reason.

A few weeks post-partum, Yuna decided that their son should be bilingual. Yuna speaks to Shane in Japanese, and David speaks to him in French. Baby Shane catches on extremely quickly.

It isn’t until baby Shane is enrolled in daycare that the staff notices he has a hard time following directions and making friends.

Yuna and David find it hard to believe. At home, baby Shane is speaking two languages and actively translating between French and Japanese. It’s not until a few weeks later that Yuna comes to the realization.

“David,” she calls from the kitchen after hearing David read Shane a book in French. “Did we ever formally teach this kid English?”

And David is sitting there stunned, because no, no, they did not. Sure, David and Yuna spoke to each other in English, and to their friends and family in English when they visited the house, but they never spoke to Shane in English.

They enroll Shane in an English as a Second Language class (which really should be called English as a third language, in this case). Shane eventually catches up and becomes somewhat fluent in English, but he has this slight hybrid Euro-Asian accent when he speaks it.

[kujakumai]

whenever characters have a weird dad and a missing/dead/unmentioned mom the fandom tendency is to assume she's normal to balance it out. but it's always valid to instead assume she matched his freak. that she was freakier. if canon won't give you enough insane women to work with it's always morally correct to fill in the blanks with your own

[scribbles97]

🙌 🙌 🙌

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:

- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!

- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???

- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!

- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-

- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.

- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.

- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.

- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?

[swagsmeister]

sunmer never ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[scunthotter]

The fandom loves to imagine Ilya protecting baby Shane from bullies but let's imagine baby Shane protecting Ilya from bullies.

After Irina dies Ilya is maybe sent away. He looks too much like his mother, hes a sad pre-teen boy which manifests as anger. He's getting into fights and embarrassing his father and maybe the last step is getting caught at 14 with Sasha. So he gets sent away, maybe there was an invitation from an international hockey program right as he's caught and so he gets sent there. Maybe his dad says something to the coach, not outing Ilya but it convinces him that Ilya's going to be trouble.

Like, the Ilya we know uses his charm and charisma as a mask very effectively. But this is a sad, scared, and angry 14 year old boy who has been outed and banished to a foreign country.

So he starts the whole thing on his back foot, his coach giving him a lecture in front of the team that Ilya can barely understand about how he needs to get his shit together, he speaks English poorly, and he's so talented on the ice that the other boys are jealous.

Then Shane Hollander, quiet, mildly popular, acknowledged best player on the team and generally a well liked, if intense, kid sits next to Ilya as they're lacing up his skates. He compliments Ilya on his hockey, says it precisely and carefully but not condescendingly so Ilya understands.

Somehow this weird intense canadian keeps sitting next to Ilya, keeps pairing up with him on the ice, somehow becomes Ilya's best friend. The other boys leave him alone, well no but he only gets the same amount of hazing as Shane and the rest of the 14 year olds.

It kills Ilya how cute Shane is but he can't say anything because then Shane will stop being his friend, will stop sitting next to him with their shoulders touching, will stop looking at Ilya like he's the only thing in the world worth looking at.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

[that-house]

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

[clytemnestraaa]

hi this drives me crazy

canon is what happens in the text. e.g. merlin tries to poison morgana

a headcanon is a fact that you have personally made up as an elaboration of canon. it is your invention. e.g. i think morgana and gwen had a teenage lesbian situationship before the events of canon. or, i think modern morgana would love evanesence.

an interpretation is how one reads the existing text. it is not an invented fact nor is it a headcanon, it is a reading. e.g. i think merlin tries to poison morgana out of misplaced self-hatred. or, i think that one line was delivered with suppressed malice and shows a nuanced relationship.

fanon is the general fandom’s accepted headcanons and interpretations that elaborate or recontextualize canon. e.g. merlin is a badass waif and morgana is a bitch.

these are all different words with different meanings.

[justdecadentcollectiondestiny]

and a cannon is a large mounted gun, usually on wheels, that uses explosives to fire projectiles.

[penandinkprincess]

there's angst in it, too, but given the way nicotine makes some people feel really sick, i'm laughing about the idea of poor shane not knowing that he's just REALLY sensitive to it in their early days and ilya who was nervous but would never admit it so ALWAYS smoked a cigarette or two right before meeting up

to the end result that their early meetings were always quick so shane didn't start feeling sick until after ilya had already cleaned up and gone, so he thought it was just his body telling him this was a bad idea and don't do it again and gotta stop-

-until next time when he just couldn't resist

and over time, ilya stopped smoking before meeting up (and eventually really smoking at all) because shane always complained about the smell, so shane stopped feeling sick after, and after they're together, shane just sometimes fondly shakes his head at past self him like "oh buddy, that must have just been anxiety getting you. silly past me. i'm so happy i'm settled into this now. :)"

until the day ilya has a really stressful day and just REALLY needs that hit so buys some nicotine gum as a compromise, chews it, chases the other stress relief of making out with his boyfriend (with shane complaining about the taste but not pulling away) starting to get frisky-

-and then shane bolting to the bathroom to get SO sick

and he REMEMBERS this feeling

which means he puts the pieces together of what EXACTLY had him spiraling out about getting so sick back in the early days of struggling with his sexuality and just turns to ilya like

YOU

[penandinkprincess]

oh MAN, afterwards, though, ilya becomes THE most militant "put that out" person in any given gathering if shane is around. doesn't matter how many times shane tells him he doesn't need to do that. he's still doing that.

they're having dinner with some of ilya's old team from boston, someone lights up because they're out on the patio, and ilya fully pulls the cigarette out of their hand and stubs it out.

and the rest of the team WHO HAS SEEN ILYA SMOKE SO MANY TIMES is just ??? what??? just happened????

[penandinkprincess]

i really need to commit to microwaving this in my brain enough to fic it because i still think about this and laugh