Hypno is a cooperative kink
The analogy with rope is uncanny. When you watch people do this kink, it seems like the top is doing all the work, and the bottom passively undergoes it. It looks like the top needs to have studied and invested time and practice into becoming really good at it, while the bottom is just a silent person with no say in any of it. But we all know that’s an illusion. We know that being a good bottom for this kink requires skill, with rope, that skill is more in a limber body and pain tolerance, and with hypno that skill is more in their mind and their imagination. We know that if either partner is inexperienced, the other partner can help them learn this kink by making it easier on them. Yes, an experienced bottom can really help an inexperienced top become better. And in my not so humble opinion, the experienced partner has a responsibility to help the inexperienced partner understand the risks and benefits of this kink they’re engaging in together.
Just like with rope, it’s hard to negotiate every word and every touch before starting to play together. Negotiation is not just something that happens before you start, every utterance or movement of your partner is an indication of how they are feeling and whether they are still enjoying doing this with you. Be ready to back down and stop at any time! Yes, it’s a good plan to discuss beforehand what you’re planning to do together, perhaps in broad strokes, perhaps you want to be very specific about certain details, that’s a personal preference. Yes, this means that the bottom is welcome to share what they want and what their limits are. In my not so humble opinion, if one of the partners has no input (”I have no limits, you can do anything) or if a partner rejects the input of another partner (”that’s topping from the bottom”) something is wrong!
Just like with rope, if during a hypno scene, your partner:
does something you told them you didn’t want
pushes your limits without your consent to do so
tries to push the scene in a direction where you don’t want to go
leaves you with after effects of the scene that make you uncomfortable, especially after effects designed to make you dependent on them
ignores your safeword or other signals that you want to stop, or tries to prevent you from stopping the scene in some way
That is a consent violation, and it’s completely understandable if you’re feeling bad because of that. If you still trust your partner, and think they had no intent to hurt you, you could talk about it together. Talk about what bothered you, why it bothered you and how to avoid it in the future. A partner who cares about you, will always want to cooperate in this. If they deny it, try to downplay it, or try to convince you that you shouldn’t be upset about it, please, get away from them.
As I’ve said many times before, you don’t need them to remove any hypnotic suggestions and triggers they may have built with you. If this breach of trust doesn’t spontaneously disable the suggestions and triggers (and that’s certainly possible), you can remove them yourself, or ask a friend to hypnotise you and help you.
