I love when you talk about clothes. How do you shop?
OH MAN valda my dude you have opened such a can of worms
so the tldr of it is: all over. it really depends on what specifically i'm looking for and like.... the size i need, etc. i get a god awful number of *really on point* fb ads for small clothing brands, plus i try and pick up shirts and such from indie artists where i can, plus a variety of fast/er fashion alternative brands, and thrifting. so much thrifting
however, i do have some pretty strict guidelines for what i will buy. ymmv on a lot of my specifics because a solid chunk of it is based off of how i like my clothes specifically to fit and everyone has their own jam, but the key things i think everyone should pay attention to are:
sizing/fit: do not compromise. there is some flexibility depending on the item and how willing you are to alter a thing, but it should always ALWAYS fit the way u like, or otherwise be comfortably tolerable in the ways it doesnt (sleeve length almost always gets me because i have very long arms, but i generally push my sleeves up anyway so its not a deal breaker, BUT the rise of my pants will absolute result in me never wearing them if it's not Right, hence ymmv)
everything you buy should either be immediately wearable in at least 3 full outfits from things you already own OR be a staple piece to build a new branch of outfit options off of that otherwise works with at least one key item already owned, like shoes
other things i really look at are under the cut cos it got long lmao
colour pallet (i own almost no bright colours; if there's colour, it is 80% of the time going to be pastel pink or lavender, though I've been branching out into brights and primary tones a little. i also own precisely Four brown items: two are CR merch, one is my vintage cat vest, and the fourth is a pair of absolutely gorgeous vintage boots that i got for hella cheap as a bootblacking restoration project)
cut/fit (depending on where i wanna present of the masc >< femme spectrum in that outfit; i like all my bottoms to sit on my (very high and narrow) waist, with skirts generally hitting at or below my knee and either very flared (circle or swing) or pleated. box cut "unisex" shirts should hit where the ball of my hips sit in my pelvis but femme cut shirts dont have to be that long they will be tucked in. i almost never wear something sleeveless, or if i do i wear a shirt under it, and the closest i get to a low cut shirt is shirts with keyholes, otherwise nothing lower than maybe an inch or two under my collarbone. my shoes are also generally high tops or boots and often have either a thick sole or a full out platform)
theme (this is how i wear really weird shit in very cohesive ways lmao; my tshirts are all generally ominous goth graphics OR cutesy kawaii vomit (or both lmao), patterns on my blouses and skirts (or pants, on the few patterned pants i have) are in similar veins (lotta halloween themes, lotta hearts) OR theyre very basic stripes/tartan that i mix and match with graphic shirts)
i also pay attention to quality as much as i can, and will absolutely not shop directly from the really aggressively fast fashion brands like shein, h&m, romwe, etc. they're always cut and made like shit and basically never look good on an actual person, but every now and then i'll find something cute in a thrift store that i can physically check for quality. vintage also tends to be better quality in general, especially if youre looking for natural fibers (the number of vintage silk dad shirts i own for summer is A Lot lmao), but can be cost and size prohibitive
aannnddddd some shops that i either routinely buy from or have been planning to buy from, for reference
"big" brands:
killstar, blackcraft clothing (generally traditional goth, better for straight sizes, decent quality for the price)
unique vintage, modcloth (vintage repro, both stockists for other vintage repro brands on top of selling their own things, generally pretty good quality across stocked and in house brands, most skirts and dresses have POCKETS, lotta killer sales, good size range)
smaller brands:
myviolet and foxblood (sibling companies run by the same people, myviolet is pastel kawaii stuff while foxblood is goth; they do sometimes carry the same cuts of things in different pallets. generally pretty good quality, does a lot of stuff in cotton or modal but not everything. size range is pretty stellar tho especially for a small brand)
disturbia clothing, straight to hell apparel (disturbia is more corporate goth leaning with a lot of business type wear in goth colors and patterns, straight to hell is very rockabilly leaning. both are pricey but their quality seems very sound (i have not bought from them though))
wicked clothing (sarcastic goth), two crow collective (chronically ill), thentvs (native american streetwear) (mostly tshirts, but really off beat ones. only bought from wicked clothing so far, just tryna decide how many more tshirts i need)
sleepy peach (retro repro but make it weird, lotta weird mens cardigans)
kei collective (stockist of a lot of indie designers in the western kawaii streetfashion scene, a wide variety of very cute to VERY WEIRD apparel and accessories)
die with your boots on (stockist, carries foxblood and a lot of other straight black goth basics. quality is on par with foxblood, size range can vary depending on brand, great place to peek for things like strangecvlt shoes or foxblood items that are out of stock on the main site)
art brands:
morning witchy (lot of botanical all over patterns on button up dad shirts, skirts, joggers, shorts, tshirts, and so on, with absolutely banger size range. gorgeous quality and absolutely beautiful designs. i want so many of their sweaters so bad)
stablercake (not specifically apparel focused but they do pretty frequent tshirt designs and theyre all great, ESPECIALLY if youre a furry. quality is always top tier unless its a bs manu error, in which case they typically offer a replacement or coupon when they find out something is fading weird, etc)
crescent creepers (weird goofy goth all over patterns, like 80s style cartoon bugs or deep sea creatures. sizing isnt great but if you're thinner, they have a lot of really fun overalls/shorteralls and button ups)
vetiver fox (very pretty goth patterns, has a lot of gorgeous swoopy skirts (with fuck off huge pockets) and some cool tank tops, is planning on maybe doing a run of regular tshirts too)
s2heart bunny (kawaii anime girl art shirts except soft and pretty and often sad or, as is the case with the ones i have, kawaii bunnies with nail bats and middle finger flags lmao)
egglien creations (weird bright very clowncore apparel, i have the cardigan from their collab with lulu van hoagland, who also does gorgeous work, just usually not apparel)
also a lot of the times, artists (especially tattoo artists) you follow will do tshirts and the like, which is where i get a lot of my really weird things
Hello! I see that you have written a whole-ass book! Would you tell me about it?
I would love to!
Carpe Noctem is primarily a vampire novel, but if you're clever you might notice there is quite a lot else happening in the the background.
To start we have Li Xinghua, a young vampire of about 24, learning more about how the world of vampires work beyond what her Sire has told her. And in doing this, she finds herself hauled into a much more dangerous world than she had ever imagined.
Richard Ransom is our other lead character. He's a very tired middle aged cop who, haunted by his past failures, is determined to keep Xinghua safe from the evil she seems oblivious to.
Along with Frost, a local nightclub owner and high ranking vampire Xinghua happens to be friends with, as well as Xinghua’s friends Trish and Ziggy, the group endeavor to find out as much as they can and bring down the big bad before its too late.
My writing style combines incredibly serious and heavy subject matter with bright moments of humor together with a relatable and fun cast of diverse characters to drive a fast paced story that is nearly impossible to put down.
If you like Buffy, Supernatural, The Last of Us, Stanger Things, The Vampire Diaries, Wicked Lovely, or Tithe this book series is for you!
I remember the Drew Carey show! Cleveland rocks ;D
imagine my surprise when, after years of watching the drew carey show, i finally went to cleveland and realized that no, it does not rock even a little.
In a modern AU, Poe can definitely use chopsticks (I love that picture of Oscar Isaac using them to eat Cheetos!), and Hux is that asshole who asks for a fork in a fancy sushi restaurant
Omg you are so right! (I love that picture too). And now I’m imaging Poe using chopsticks for everything for like a week after Hux asks for a fork at dinner and Hux pretends not to notice until he finally snaps “bloody hell, Dameron. You don’t need chopsticks for a bag of crisps!”
Oooh are you wanting prompts? How about “Don’t be silly. I want to stay up with you.” ❤️
[Thanks for the prompt, this got a little out of hand. NSFW, post TLJ, CW: past violence, injuries, choking. @keepinghimclose ]
There was a rumour amongst the officers that Kylo did not sleep. He meditated they said, as if the barely controlled pillar of rage that stood at the viewport right now had ever successfully meditated in his life. He had told Hux once, on one of the rare nights where he’d willingly indulged with the General in alcohol and deep conversation, that he had tried to sit, legs crossed, in silence for hours at a time when he’d still believed the name of Jedi was within his reach. All he’d gained from that was a temporarily numb ass and the ability to sleep sitting up. No, if Kylo ever meditated it was in the gym and the endless repetitions of his training forms. Sweat was his preferred outlet for stress, as Hux himself could now testify after the events of the last hour or so. Hux himself wasn’t all that sold on the idea. Not the sex- the sex had been fantastic even if fucking a Force adept meant he had to work hard to keep his thoughts in check; but the exertion, the (his mind crawled away from the thought) the stickiness- that he could do without.Previous partners had called Hux a pillow prince as if it were an insult, but the only insult Hux saw in it was the lack of ambition in the title. He smirked to himself in the dark. He’d always aspired to be a ‘pillow emperor’.
But that wasn’t the position he found himself in now. Kylo was Supreme Leader for no better reason than being able to kill Hux with his mind, and if the Supreme Leader wanted rough energetic sex across every surface of his quarters then Hux would provide it. Honestly Hux might have been willing to provide it once in a while whatever the circumstances- Kylo was unspeakably attractive under all those robes, but the whole ‘imminent death’ element was an unexpected aphrodisiac.Some horrible masochistic part of his mind reminded Hux that Snoke had been able to kill him at any second too, but he shut off that thought process before it began. For a brief moment Hux considered getting out of Kylo’s bed and raiding his cupboards for alcohol to drown the errant thought, but the mattress was unexpectedly soft and his limbs were already protesting the exercise of the last few hours. It wasn’t often Hux had to support his full body weight from an overhead beam.There were no rumours amongst the officer ranks about Hux’ lack of sleep. Everyone knew he didn’t sleep. It was a bad habit fuelled by tarine tea, caf, and an unseemly amount of stimulants. His work required focus and his work never ended, so he never slept. That was an exaggeration of course, he rarely went more than seventy two hours without getting a good five hours sleep. That’s what sedatives had been designed for after all. Kylo had been staring out of the viewports for a very long time now. Hux could see Kylo’s broad reflection in the transparisteel. He had to hope there were no TIE wings out on exercise at this time of the cycle. He wasn’t much of a pilot himself but he was pretty certain that seeing the Supreme Leader like that would make him crash into the nearest bit of hull. Hell, he was very aware of the fact that he’d had that cock inside him less than half an hour ago and it’s size would still surprise him if he encountered it without advanced warning. At the viewport Kylo gave an odd little sigh and straightened his frame.Hmmm… could he hear his thoughts? Hux had always assumed so.“Stop.” The word broke the silence like a blaster shot, resonating oddly through the dark room like it hadn’t been little more than a whisper.“Supreme Leader?” The title still clung to his tongue every time he said it out loud. Kylo didn’t seem to notice.“Go to sleep, General, give us all a rest from your scheming mind.”Hux feigned looking around the room. He could see Kylo’s eyes reflected in the glass so he must be able to see him. “Us, Supreme Leader?” He asked, leaning over the edge of the mattress as if to peer under the bed. “We’re the only ones here, unless the possibly mythical Knights of Ren are hiding under your bed.”The noise Kylo made might have been a snarl if it had come from an animal, but it came from a man so it merely sounded strange and a little pathetic.Hux changed tack. Baiting him was far too easy at times. “You wish me to sleep here? Or should I return to my quarters where I can scheme in peace?”This time Kylo turned to glare at him. He was breathing heavily, those ridiculously ample pecs rising and falling like empires. Hux was so busy dreamily fantasising about fucking them that he didn’t hear any part of Kylo’s response.Suddenly Kylo was across the room in three short steps. His hand- warm and real and solid as steel- was around Hux’ throat without a word of warning, and Hux found himself half hauled up from the mattress. Under the cover of black satin sheets his exhausted cock made a valiant attempt at rising to the occasion.“I’m sorry, what was that?” He managed to choke out around his constricted airway. His hands had automatically come up to grip Kylo’s wrist. He pulled them closer, pressing more firmly on his own throat.Kylo dropped him like Hux had stung him. Hux let himself smile. He hadn’t used that trick in a decade, though the slow but persistent swell of his cock suggested that perhaps it wasn’t a ‘trick’ any more.“No more scheming,” Kylo said, leaning close as if he were berating a wayward pupil but also refusing to meet his eye out of some kind of embarrassment. “You live here now. You don’t leave my sight.”“Well, I never took you for that type,” Hux muttered distastefully. He looked deliberately towards the refresher.Kylo curled his lip. “Stop. You know that isn’t what I meant.”“Do I?” They stared at each other, Hux still reclining amongst the sheets while Kylo leant over him with trembling fists. Kylo should have been in control of the situation, but once again he didn’t seem to be in control of anything. Hux could feel the bruises deepening across his throat but he knew the room was dark enough that Kylo wouldn’t notice. He could also feel his own ego rising to meet the challenge just as it always did.Kylo raised a hand towards his face and Hux was briefly proud that he didn’t flinch. Instead the smile solidified into a sneer.“You’re not actually afraid of me,” Kylo said. He didn’t sound surprised, just curious.Hux raised an eyebrow at the statement just as Kylo’s hand fell to run down his side. He hissed as Kylo squeezed the bruises run along his ribs, but again he didn’t flinch away from the contact.“Fear is relative, Kylo, surely you know that.” He said with far more confidence than his situation warranted. “You’ve made your point- you can kill me in an instant, you can steal the thoughts from my mind, you can shatter my bones… but do you really think that makes you special?” Hux sat up, pushing against Kylo’s hand again. When he continued speaking he was almost surprised to hear that he was breathless. “Do you know how many of my officers carry poison? Did you think my blade was the only one on the bridge? Snoke was almost as powerful as you, wasn’t he? Do you really think any of this is new to me?”Instead of the outburst Hux was expecting Kylo regard him in silence for a beat, then he was crawling slowly onto the bed. Hux wanted to pull back, suddenly unnerved if not actually afraid, but the hand on his ribs had slipped around to cradle the back of his neck.“I think some things might be.”A treacherous blush raced over his face when that plush chest hoved into view again, but Hux kept his voice steady as he drawled a careless “Hardly.”Kylo laughed unkindly. He pulled away and turned back to the viewport, his eyes fixed on the same point as before. The lost of his heat was shocking despite the brevity of the contact and Hux suddenly hated himself for that even as he craved more. “Your feelings betray you.”Hux scoffed. He hadn’t had a feeling he was willing to acknowledge in thirty years and he had not intention of changing that now. “What are you doing?” He asked instead. He’d never sleep now with so much adrenaline in his system, so he rose and padded across the room, wrapping the sheet around him as he went. Kylo might be content to risk exposure to the universe, but Hux hoped he had at least this much dignity left.“There,” Kylo pointed. “Our position in the galaxy relative to Alderaan- the light of its destruction will reach us soon. I wanted to see it.”Hux nodded. Kylo had long admired his grandfather, of course he’d want to see one of the great events of Darth Vader’s life. The sheet swished softly against the floor as he came to a halt at Kylo’s side.
Kylo didn’t look at him, but he stepped slightly closer to Hux’ side.“Go to bed. Sleep. Get some rest.” “Don’t be silly.” Hux said dismissively. He’d always admired Tarkin more than Vader, and wasn’t this his achievement? He should witness it in his name. And if the bed was far too cold without Kylo in it, well no one else would need to know about that. “I want to stay up with you.”Kylo looked at him. For a moment Hux thought he would say something, but he turned back to the window without a word.
There is an old expression that if you place a creature in a tub of boiling water, it will jump out right away, but if you place it in a tub of lukewarm water and increase the temperature by just a few degrees every so often, it will boil to death and never realize what happened.
It sounds impossible. How could anything not know–?
But falling for Hux is a slow cruel boil, and Ren isn’t sure which one of them is in the tub.
Once Hux had asked him if Ren thought he had the Force and had been treated to a very long explanation that had made him impatient but the gist of it was, yes, but no. The Force was inside all things. There was nothing, there was nobody, that didn’t have it within. But Ren had never gotten any indication that Hux could use it the way a Jedi or a Sith could. That he could use the way Ren could.
That made the invisible collar it sometimes felt like Hux had slipped around his neck even more disturbing. And even more intriguing.
If Ren wants to, he can stop Hux’s heart, his lungs, he can freeze his blood in his veins and watch him scramble for one more breath. He can bend Hux’s will into something that can never be put back into shape, break him like a show animal. He never does. Maybe Hux understands that he never will.
Instead he lies next to Hux as they both try to sleep. They’re both poor sleepers. Hux peers over his arm at him, watching, until he settles down. “You’re awfully beautiful,” Hux offers sometimes in those late nights. Unspoken, but understood. And you belong to me.
Ren never denies it.
Love might be watching, fond and protective, for a few minutes as Hux sleeps.
Obsession is what Ren actually does, watching without ever sleeping at all, without moving. I belong to you, oh yes, but you’ll never be free of me.
It’s exciting to be wanted. Exciting to be hated. With Hux, he can have it all.
Hux won’t leave him either, even when he complains he should. Hux is a deeply fearful person, way down in the cracks and crevices that nothing can ever clean out, and that might be the most attractive thing about him.
“You’re awfully beautiful, too,” Ren whispers back, because it is true.
