Countertype Series: Type One.
From NineTypesCo by Steph Barron Hall.
Meet Steven! In this interview, he shares what it's like to be a Sexual One.
Defining the Sexual One subtype:
SX Ones are often driven to perfect and improve specific others and the way society works overall. It's common to find a sexual One launching into an explanation about why the way that things work is wrong and how it can be better. These Ones are focused on reforming others, and they don't always concentrate on inner perfection (though most still report having an inner critic). They are the most openly angry and intense of the three One subtypes.
Did you ever mistype?
"When I first took the test through the Enneagram Institute, it typed me highest as 2, 4, and 7, with 1 being my fourth highest scoring type. I was really enamored with the language of the enneagram in general, so I started reading through the types.
"As you might expect, 1 resonated somewhat with the three types presented to me, but when I read the fuller description of the 1, I knew those were the fears and drivers that actually informed most of my decisions on a daily basis, even if aspects of 'the perfectionist' didn't fit on the more surface level."
How would you describe the SX1 subtype? What is it like for you to move through life as a Sexual 1?
"Being the sexual subtype for me means that I spend most of my time focused on the energy I feel from the people around me. I will often even attribute problems that are due to something like hunger or discomfort to perceived issues I have with people I'm close to in my life.
"As a sexual 1, I feel like my rigid perfectionism is often playing tug-of-war with the passion I have for my friends and close ones. I often feel as though I come across as chaotic, being very structured and articulate, but also leaning toward big romantic gestures, dropping everything to have a significant moment with a friend, and over-expressing my feelings of appreciation and affection for those I am close to.
"I have always been VERY picky about who makes the cut in my life. I almost always know instinctively in the first couple of interactions if someone is going to get my time and attention or not. I am often playing this narrative in my head where I and a few people I approve of are special and rare, having a positive impact in a world of people who just don't quite have what we do (yes I am aware this is not a healthy narrative)."
What is the biggest challenge you face in your life related to your subtype?
"[One is that] I will sacrifice my schedule, principles, and good habits for the people in my life.
"If I am on a strict diet, but my friend wants to blast through a pizza, I'm right there with them. If I have 6 things on my to-do list for the day, but someone I care about needs to talk or wants to go do something spontaneous, I will drop that whole to-do list to have that experience. I chase the charisma and energy to an unhealthy degree.
"This always results in my beating myself up later for not doing what I wanted to with my time. I always take the hit internally later. I somehow expect myself to give the people in my life all my time and energy, and then just be able to do all the stuff I planned anyway."
What do you think is the biggest difference between yourself and other Type Ones?
"When you interact with most 1s, you can feel the rigidity. Their responses are always controlled. Their style is simple and clean. It always feels like they are holding back a little. I can have that same filter when I am in new situations or around people I do not know, but that filter comes down for me far more quickly and with greater frequency than other 1s. I quickly loosen up and become louder, more excited, more passionate, and even more silly.
"My subtype is called Zeal, and I feel like I approach many situations with zeal. I have lots of energy and fewer boundaries, especially when I have confidence or I care about what's happening in a situation. I can lean into excess and even be chaotic when I feel like it's the 'right' thing to do in the moment.
"At my core, I see myself being driven by the same deep need as all 1s to be good, do what's right, and always get better. I don't feel the same restrictions I see many other 1s dealing with trying to achieve those goals. It's much more natural for me to push energy into a moment, especially when I'm convinced it's good or I'm right."
Is there anything else you'd like people to know about your subtype?
"We are still perfectionists!! Our hair may be messy and our rooms might be disorganized, but we are probably crazy organized and structured somewhere else (like with our thoughts or in our work ethic or with our relationships, etc.)"