Dumb fic idea where Shepard gets Office Spaced, goes to a Hypnotherapist for some stress relief. They put her under and recommended she open up more.
"You don't have to filter yourself around others ."
Somehow this bit of instruction isn't taken back out and Shep arrives back aboard the Cerberus SR-2 speaking her inner most thoughts. She walks by Zaeed and without missing a beat says "everyday I look at you, I thank God my life hasn't turned out as bad as his." She has breakfast and as Jack passes her in the line in the galley looks her up and down and declares "the whole bad girl thing is obviously a cry for help." Shepard walks off with her fruit cup well three crewmen restrain Jack from attacking her CO. Kelly is in tears after Shepard tells her she's too needy, always in some elses drama because she has none of her own.
It becomes clear that someone has to snap Shepard out of it, if for nothing else but team cohesion, but Garrus, Shep's closest friend is scared of what she'll say to him.
Hello. Dis I, ADB gremlin, speaking in the name of mine and a few other gremlins uwu May I request Drake, Killer and Zoro getting an embarassing injury on their butts and having to ask their s/o for help? They are big beefy boys, no wonder they can't reach and treat themselves. They have to leave the butt care to their partner :3 Sheer embarrassed fluff :3
Hello Bas and gremlins UwU I probably spent a bit too much time laughing at this request, and contemplating if I should write this seriously or as a joke. Here we are though! I can assure you, I kept all of the gremlins in mind as I wrote this 😏
Drake
Drake does not want to talk about it. It’s embarrassing on several levels and what if you get the wrong idea from it? No. He’s not asking you for help. But of course, there’s only so much he can do to hide his injury, and you notice pretty soon. You offer to help him, and he somewhat reluctantly agrees.
Once he has to drop his pants, he’s a blushy mess. He knows there’s nothing intimate going on, but possibly that makes it even more embarrassed. You asking him questions doesn’t make it any better.
“How did you even get a wound on your ass?”
“Usually when they attack from behind they go for your back.”
“Was your enemy very small so they couldn’t get to your back?”
The more questions you ask him, the more certain he is that you’re teasing him. But you’re also helping him, so he lets it slide and ignores your teasing as much as he can. At this point, his face is putting tomatoes to shame.
“Hey, Drake. I think I know why they attacked your butt.”
He knew you were going to say something to embarrass him even more. He just knew it.
“They were just jealous of that fine ass of yours!”
Drake didn’t expect you to grab a handful of his ass prove your point, and let out a small yelp which made you burst out into laughter. Embarrassed, he pulls his pants up and wants to leave the room. Before he can do that though, you pull him back into your arms. Despite his embarrassment, he can’t help but give into your embrace. The two of you stay together like that for a while, before you speak up again.
“You do know I’ll have to check that injury again tomorrow, right?”
Zoro
Zoro hates the injury he got with a passion. He doesn’t mind getting injured or scarred, but did that sneaky guy really have to go for his ass? An injury on his back was a swordsman’s shame, even if it was on his ass. He really doesn’t want it to scar, even if he can’t see it himself, so he asks you for help.
At first you think he’s joking, or hinting towards something else. Zoro gets a little annoyed by this. He just wants you to take care of that wound, damnit. It takes a while to convince you that he’s serious, and by the end of it he’s shouting and slightly red from embarrassment.
The two of you finally get some privacy so you can tend to that injury. The majority of the time is passed in silence, until you finally speak up.
“Maybe I should ask Chopper to come help?”
“Hell no, Y/N!”
“But what if I don’t do a good enough job and it scars? That would be such a waste of such a fine ass!”
Zoro stares at you behind him as best as he an for a while, trying to figure out if you were being serious or if you were teasing him. He turns his head back to look in front of him, hoping you didn’t catch the blush on his cheeks.
“Don’t you dare get Chopper. Or tell anyone about this.”
“I was just teasing you. Though it would be a waste if this scarred. Guess I’ll have to keep an eye on this to make sure it heals nicely.”
“You just want an excuse to look at my ass, don’t you?”
Zoro groans. The laughter coming from behind him is all the confirmation he needs.
Killer
Killer is horribly embarrassed by it, and almost doesn’t dare ask you for help. He considered asking Kid, but that would just make things even more embarrassing. So he takes you aside and tells you he got hurt during the last battle and he needs you to help him take care of it. It’s a bit surprising, he’s never asked it before, but you tell him you’ll help.
Once he tells you it’s on his butt, you really have to hold back your laughter. Injuries are bad, sure, but the whole situation is a bit too comedic. You know Killer is a bit sensitive about people laughing at him though, so you hold back. Judging by the red spots on Killer’s neck and throat, he’s embarrassed enough as it is.
Killer is not dropping his pants any more than needed. He’s not staying like that any more than is needed. He really just wants this to be over with. You on the other hand, are taking your sweet time tending to that wound. He knows you’re doing it on purpose.
The moment you’re done, all he wants to do is pull up his pants and get away and distract himself from what just happened. You have other plans though, and you pull him back into the room and into your embrace. He resists it, but only for a little and not very seriously. Embarrassed or not, Killer is touch starved and loves your hugs.
“Hey Killer?”
“Hm?”
“Did you kill the guy who did that to you?”
“Yeah.”
“Too bad. I would have liked to kill them for damaging what is mine.”
You can hear a small yelp coming from Killer as you grab two handfuls of his ass. He tears away from you and quickly walks out of the room, while your laughter can be heard throughout the whole ship.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Characters: Grantaire (Les Misérables), Enjolras (Les Misérables), Marius Pontmercy, Joly (Les Misérables), Combeferre (Les Misérables)
Additional Tags: Hurt Grantaire, injured grantaire, Hurt/Comfort, Pining
Summary:
Enjolras has started bringing lollipops to meetings. He sucks on them. Constantly. This wouldn't be a problem, if it wasn't for the fact that it puts Grantaire's sanity in serious jeopardy.
6. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kool-Aid Man
Yikes. But sure, why not. Set in Season 4
“Are you sure this isn’t some kind of mass, magical halucination?” Xander asked, examining the large hole in his wall.
“I don’t know.” Willow said, taking a hesitant step towards the large figure in the middle of the room. “I mean, I’m not picking up on any kind of magical energies, but I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“OH YEAH!” Said the Kool-Aid Man, for the third time since he’d burst through the wall of Xander’s apartment.
Willow looked back at Buffy, who was rubbing her temples. “Should we call Giles?”
“Maybe.” Buffy said. “Why don’t you check the web first and see if anyone else in town is dealing with... whatever this is.”
“It’s the Kool-Aid Man.” Xander said.
“I know it’s the Kool-Aid Man.” Buffy said. “You know what I meant.”
“OH YEAH!” Said the Kool-Aid Man.
“So,” Buffy said, walking towards the giant pitcher, “anything else you want to say? Maybe why you’re here, or how you even exist? Anything beyond-”
“OH YEAH!” Said the Kool-Aid Man, in exactly the same tone.
Buffy frowned. This was ridiculous, but past experience had taught her that this could turn ugly at any moment. “Okay... maybe stomp once for yes, twice for no?”
In response, the Kool-Aid Man jumped, causing some of the Kool-Aid inside to slosh onto the floor. Buffy shot a guilty look at Xander, who looked too bewildered to react.
“Oh, Buff. I think you should see this.” Willow said, from the large PC in the corner of the room.
Buffy leaned over to look at the news article. The headline read Captain Crunch Terrorizes Sunnydale Mall. “Okay. So mascots. We’re dealing with mascots who’ve somehow come to life?”
She turned back, where Xander was standing with what appeared to be a glass of Kool-Aid in his hand. “What are you doing? Did he give you that?”
“Oh yeah.” Said Xander.
“OH YEAH!” Said the Kool-Aid Man.
There was a knock on the front door. Buffy kept her eyes on the intruder as she moved to open it. Riley stood on the other side.
“Hey, have you heard what’s going on at the mall, they say...” He trailed off as he took in the room. Without warning, the Kool-Aid Man started running towards the front door.
“OH YEAH!” Said the Kool-Aid Man.
Riley drew his side-arm and fired three shots. A large part of the glass pitcher shattered. The Kool-Aid Man fell backwards, the glass shattering further with a loud crunch.
“What the hell, Riley?” Buffy yelled. “He didn’t hurt anybody, what’s wrong with you?”
She ran to the side of the Kool-Aid Man. Kool-Aid saturated the floor as she knelt beside him.
“He was attacking you.”
Buffy shot an angry look at Riley before turning her gaze downward. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Oh yeah.” Said the Kool-Aid Man feebly.
“No. You can’t die. Please don’t die.” Buffy said, but it was too late. The pitcher was empty. The Kool-Aid Man was gone.
Summary: Ron writes 5 letters to 5 people. The letters got out and he is so fucked, literally.
This is kind of a crack fic? I wrote it when I saw an edit of this but with Hermione instead, and I thought "What if Ron can write?" And that's how this fic happened. And the Valentines thing is a coincidence
Happy Valentines y'all
Word count: 1059
Read it here on ao3
February 14th, 2019
I’m totally screwed.
I guess it’s time to write this down in my diary too.
No one knows this but every time I have a crush on someone, or I have a thing for them, I always write it down as a letter, but I will never send it to them. Reading it just reminds me of how strong my emotions could be, like...I didn’t think I could write like that, no one does. But here are five total:
Harry, my best friend. I actually write that letter to him to admit that he’s my best mate and I don’t want to lose him, ever. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me
Hermione, my second best friend. She is the greatest, I have liked her for a long time since the Yule Ball, I just didn’t know. But recently we’ve been drifting away and I write it to her to say that I may consider breaking up, she seems to like Parkinson a lot more
And Lavender, my first girlfriend, I don’t know why, but I still think that she has feelings for me and our relationship was quite good, she was very supportive of me. Exes can still be friends, right?
Viktor Krum, the first person to make me realised that I could swing for both teams, he is so hot, he’s still so hot. He’s still my favourite Quidditch player. And I used to be so jealous of him, turns out I might have been jealous of the girls who got to be with him.
And last, Blaise Zabini, the mysterious Slytherin, I have always had a thing for him, I never tell anyone but his personalities attract me and I feel like I’m being pulled to him. Luna once approached me and said Zabini likes my smile. I’m still shocked about that even until now.
And earlier today, on Valentines Day, the letters got out. I don’t know who sent it away but I’m so fucked right now.
Most of the letters are fine, I have found almost all of them to explain about the letters, they are all fine with it. But there is still one left.
Zabini, I can’t find him anywhere. And I might have described a very detailed love making scene in the letter I sent to him and what I want him to do to me, it’s 16 pages long, front AND back
There’s a knock on the door. It’s him. I’m going to die.
Goodbye dear world
*
February 15th, 2019
Turns out I’m still fine. Luna was the one who sent it out, with the help of Ginny as well.
And I might have lost my virginity to the said Slytherin above. He knocked on my door yesterday to return the letter to me and then proceeded to actually do the things I wrote in the letter.
He’s still in my bed. We’re going to be late for breakfast
But I rather like it. A lot.
*
*flashback to what happened yesterday*
“Who-who is it?” Ron closed his diary and stood up slowly, he was so fucked
“Open the door” His voice was cold and Ron flinched at the tone. However, he still opened the door slightly
“Oh...Zabini...I didn’t expect you here” His voice was barely a whisper
“Explain” Zabini pulled out a letter, Ron’s letter to Ron’s face and arched his eyebrow “What is the meaning of this?”
“A joke?”
“Doesn’t seem like a joke to me” Zabini put a hand on the door and pushed in “Let me in”
“I-...” Zabini slammed the door opened and Ron stepped back, face horrified by the action.
“Do you know what’s in this letter?” He swayed the letter lightly and Ron stuttered
“I-…”
“Is this real? Did you actually write this?”
“Yes, I wrote it. But it…I wrote it a long time ago, and there are four more, and I-…”
“Four?”
“Yeah, for each of my crush…”
“When did you write this letter?” He held his letter up again and Ron swallowed, his legs hit the table and he stopped
“I-…the start of Eighth Year, after the train ride…actually”
Zabini stared at him for a moment and let the letter fall down to the ground. Ron’s heart was beating like crazy
“Did you mean what you write? Do you actually want it?” Zabini stepped forward and moved closer to Ron’s spot every second now
“I…yeah? At the time…”
“And now?”
“I-I don’t know…” Ron looked down on his shoes until he felt Zabini’s breath ghosting over his face. He felt a hand tilting his face up, he looked at Zabini’s eyes and swallowed hard, blushing hard as well
“You don’t know how long I have wanted this baby” Zabini mumbled deeply and smashed his lips on Ron’s. Sliding this wet tongue into Ron’s mouth, the Gryffindor moaned and arched his back, feeling the hardness under the Slytherin’s robes
*back to present*
“What are you doing?” Blaise’s voice startled Ron and he slammed his diary closed
“Nothing” He turned around and saw that Blaise was covering his lower parts with Ron’s blanket, he blushed
“Really?”
“We will be late for breakfast, Blaise, hurry up” He diverted the topic
“That’s not what you called me yesterday” Blaise smirked, getting off the bed
“That was just what I wrote in the letter. And please put the blanket on” His cheeks felt hot when Blaise sauntered to his table
“And yet you loved calling me that yesterday” Blaise tilted Ron’s chin up to look at him “Fuck you’re so beautiful”
“Sod off” Ron couldn’t help but smiled like an idiot when Blaise grinned back at him “Good Godric, you are NOT serious, are you?”
“Nope, seeing your blushing face under the morning light are the two deadly combination for me now”
“We’ll be late for breakfast” Ron hissed and prepared to stand up but Blaise’s strong hands pushed him down again, his face looking at the…thing
“You can have your breakfast, here” Blaise shrugged and Ron gasped
“Blaise!”
“And then I can eat something after, preferably what I ate yesterday here”
“Blaise!!!” Ron started blushing again, or he never stopped blushing.
So the letters being sent out were a good thing then, he should find Luna after this…session, of course.
Wow this sucks, oh well, it’s kinda funny to me so...happy Valentines again y’all even though it’s not Valentines day here anymore but anyway... Imma drown myself in fics again
Soooooo for your writing prompt, I'd love to see 7 with Kurama
Thank you for your request!! This got a little…crackier than I meant for it too. I hope you still enjoy!
7. “Wow I can’t believe I said that out loud, please excuse me while Igo die of embarrassment.” (from this list here)
It was a guilty pleasure, an easy enough one to hide normally. With hisnose often shoved into a book or the problem of his friends while trying tohelp them worth through things, Kurama came across as the high-brow, educated gentleman.The type of man to laugh at a literary pun.
No one, not even his closest friends, suspected him of finding memeshilarious.
He even crafted a few. All anonymous, of course. Nothing that could betraced back to him. And he was careful to keep his activity online to spaceswhere no one would think to look for him.
There wasn’t a whole lot of reason for him to keep this a secret otherthan being mildly embarrassed by himself. Kurama, age old thief, formeraccomplice of the Spirit Detective, winner of The Dark Tournament, advisor toDemon King Yomi: a memelord. Kaito would be rolling in his grave and thepsychic wasn’t even dead.
And yet,despite his mild shame, he took great pleasure in photoshopping the last panelof his most recent creation, his favorite game character defending the honor ofwomen everywhere by yelling “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS”. He uploaded it and chuckledto himself. His account, FoxierThanYou, always got plenty of praise. He wasstill himself, after all, there was no point in being bad at something, even if it was just creating memes.
Yawning,he stretched his arms over his head and got up from his seat. But not before helogged out from the account and cleared his browsing history. He shut down hiscomputer and made his way out to meet up with Yusuke and the others. He’d beenup all night, and most of the night before. Studying mostly.
But also…memes.
That’s allhe could think to blame for what happened, really. His exhaustion had left himloose. His brain was on autopilot. A pale excuse, but the only one he couldoffer.
“Where isthis café?” Yusuke griped, glaring at Kuwabara who was leading them to some catcafé he had recently fallen in love with.
“You donot know da way.” Kurama replied smoothly, adopting a thick Ugandan accent withthe words. His eyes flashed open.
Kuwabaraand Yusuke stopped midstep, turning to face him slowly. The blood drained fromhis face. They stared. Then Yusuke, in typical fashion, slowly began to grin,his eyebrows pulling down in the most devious way. Kuwabara mimicked hisexpression. In unison they spoke.
“Do youknow da way?” They asked him together, their accents matching his. Theirexpressions tormented him, bringing heat to his cheeks.
“I can’t believe I said that out loud, please excuse me while I go dieof embarrassment.” Kurama balked and spun on heel to get away from them.
Yusuke erupted into devilish laughter and ran behind him, grabbing himby the arm. “Oh no you don’t fox boy. You’re going to answer for this one.”
“Yeah.” Kuwabara flanked his other side and looped his arm through theshorter redhead’s, helping Yusuke drag him onward. “Although you know, withyour hair a mess and you blushing so hard, you kinda do look like Knuckles.”
Honestly, dying of embarrassment would have been easier.
