My creative writing teacher is such a mood
Like, this is shit he’s done
• we once said we were group two and he was like “who said that?” And then made us group seven
• the group titles were “group 1”, “group 7”, “untitled”, and “shark bait”
• comes to class with his hair messed up in different ways every day
• I’m convinced he doesn’t brush it
• said he hates math on the first day, and keeps mentioning it
• failed comp 1 in college and still got a doctorate in English
• has accepted my homework folded as origami birds
• draws a person on the board so we can practice workshops
• walks over and changes the facial expression when people say stuff
• once covered the fake persons ears
• once said “padgnation” instead of “pagination”
• once had the entire class what Wattpad was
• was scared of the One Direction trope of moms selling kids to them
• forgot to assign our textbook
• mentions how much he hates grading research papers
• compares it to how much students hate writing research papers
• told us to have an individual notebook as a journal for this class
• told it had to be strictly creative writing because he didn’t want to see our biology notes
• has given us something to read that involves a mangled baby
• gave us a work without any quotation marks and basically laughed at my criticism of it
• told us that MLA was poisoning us
• proceeded to look at me every time a price doesn’t have quotation marks and asked me if it bothers me
• when someone else mentions it, he asks if that was what I was going to say
• told us his children’s names because we were talking about naming characters
• asked if we wanted to come to class on a holiday
• when we said no, he said “my wife wouldn’t let me anyway”
• talks about how his music is old
• literally plays the weirdest kind of music while we’re doing class work
• he’ll just go to YouTube and find “Afro swing” or something
• did attendance once by asking how our stories were going
• said “it’s like that sometimes” when I said “it was too sweet, so I killed someone”
• says that creative writing can’t be graded objectively (which is so true)
• seems to teach our class for fun
• once wrote “cat turds” on the whiteboard
•once he was writing something he didn’t want us to see yet, so he wrote it behind the projector screen
• cue the class slowly noticing and looking at him
• says “you’re going to hate me” whenever he gives us a difficult assignment
• has taken us on a field trip to the library twice (it’s a short walk)
• I told him I keep forgetting to take my vitamins and he said “what do you want me to do? Give you a slap on the wrist?”
• he’s just a really relatable guy
