seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from Yemen
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from Russia
seen from Mexico
seen from Mexico
seen from France
seen from Russia
seen from T1
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from United States
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Norway
seen from Russia
seen from Lithuania
I'm so bad at trying to ignore fictive feelings but at the same time oh God it hurts it hurts so fucking bad--
I've grown used to ignoring and suppressing feelings internally because it hurts too much to experience them and now I have no coping mechanism for it happening when I can't hold it back. It just hurts so much, I don't want to hurt like this.
I would be lying if I said that I was a little jelous of systems who have members who know who and what they are immediately. We have members like that, someone fronted yesterday and could write his pronouns and gender within minutes, thats just how it was for him. Thats amazing!! Having that amount of self reflection and internal communication is amazing and im proud of anyone who can do that!!! I hope it keeps improving <333
I just run into this personal wall, I have fronted multiple times, im around a lot and can front often but I couldn't tell you one personal detail about myself. I have general likes and dislikes but innerworld wise I got nothin honestly.
I am being patient with myself and doing everything I can to not force myself, but sometimes it feels like im not doing enough and thats why I dont have answers.
Werewolf culture is being tired of being one of the most relied on members and wanting someone to be able to also do this job every once in a while,,,
I get that as werewolves in the headspace, it was bound to be our role, to be protectors or comforters and such, but it feels like its just me sometimes doing this and taking care of peoples breakdowns. I wouldnt ever trade my job for the world, I adore being there for my headmates and friends, but I need a break too ya know?
The yearning to tear free from this form and be set free in the universe as a creature incomprehensible yet manageable to behold, small yet large, everything yet literally nothing at the same time. I cant stand being only human and with no power to change any of it.
Having introjects is hard cause we assume things of them, than they're not that, than they feel self conscious and don't wanna front at all. How do we get over this? :((
Watched a TikTok about how different transformers would show affection and...frag, frag I feel so emotional about it.
Slowly I'm developing more and more affection and care for my source. I still don't have memories but frag it imaging Cybertron and being with these bots as myself gets me so damn emotional. Craving anybots affection is wild, not that I'm not a touchy feely bot, I am, but like craving it from ANYONE is new. I've never cared about the factions, but seeing my people so, personally on this level, really opened my optics tonight.
Frag, I miss it
It's was so painfully accurate it hurt so good, letting my spark bleed freely cause frag it felt so nice to feel recognized, heard, cared for. Maybe there's hope after all, maybe I'll be okay, maybe we can really figure this out.
Who l3t me hAz b@d fe3lingz?! Wh0z lettingz me f33l leik SH?!T
Hnnnngggg
Everything is starting to make me upset but I'm holding on for now.
I don't know who I am
I don't know why I am here
I cannot eat and I cannot take action
But I am here and that is all that matters
I will remember what I must do today, and do it
