if you want to give a critique to an artist, but are worried about how it will come across, a great way to be super chill with feedback is to do these 3 things
if you have access to notes or comments or messages already left, just take a minute to scroll through them a bit. If a hundred people have already said "you suck at writing relatable characters" maybe your well meaning advice to write more relatable characters isn't appropriate anymore.
use a compliment sandwich
use "I" statements
Compliment sandwich is easy. Find two things you like about the piece, and put your critique between them.
Example:
"what a great story, i really enjoyed the setting you've provided for it. I had a hard time making a personal connection with some of the characters, but I love the twist ending!"
So, sure, critical feedback can be hard to make palatable, but you see how two thirds of this is actually positive feedback. And the part in the middle is gentled by using an "I" statement, which explicitly does not say anything bad about the writing or the author -- not connecting with the characters could be a personal failure on the part of the reader, and this statement is phrased to acknowledge that.
That's what makes "I" statements a little trickier. The first step is simple, start your feedback with "I" to help you frame it innocuously
So like instead of "You Need to Write More Relatable Characters" or "None of the Characters Are Relatable" i might say "I Had Trouble Relating to the Characters" In this way you are not asserting yourself as anything but The Expert in What You Have Experienced (which we all know is true) instead of telling someone what they did wrong or what they need to do, as if you are An Expert in What They Are Doing
And it's better quality information. Imagine I said "You have trouble writing relatable characters" or "These characters aren't relatable"
But maybe this artist has had 100 comments about Relatable Characters and 78% of them are about how relatable they are. That means i'm actually wrong. They have written pretty relatable characters. So i'd totally be wrong.
Plus i'd be wrong in an accusatory way, and "this is what you should have done/this is how you've messed up" is something any artist getting feedback (especially online) has to kind of shield themselves against. Everybody has a way they would have done it "better". And you especially have to find a way to not give your energy to people are both wrong and antagonistic online. So being accusatory and wrong, even accidentally, even with the best intentions, is a great way for me to get ignored, or, if i catch the artist in a vulnerable moment, get clapped back. Or if they are new or very sensitive, hurt their feelings.
Whereas "I had trouble relating to the characters" is just, an accurate depiction of your experience. "I didn't notice the stop sign" doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with the stop sign. Sure if a number of people say it, maybe do a little check up on the sign's visibility. But at the same time, "i didn't notice the stop sign" doesn't say the stop sign is wrong in any way, like, maybe you were just thinking about mashed potatoes and didn't notice the clearly visible sign, who is to say.
And that makes you helpful. Even if 78% of the responses that deal with character relate-ability are "these characters are so relatable" if, say, 17% of them are along the lines of "i had trouble relating to several of the characters, I didn't make a personal connection with them before moving on to the next character" it might help that author really dial in their characters for that story.
Now, just beginning your sentence with the word "I" doesn't make it what we're looking for, it's just a great place to start. What you're trying to make sure you do is Only Describe Your Experience, without giving advice or rendering judgement on quality or technique. Especially avoid anything that says "you should". Even indirectly.
You might be tempted to tell them something like "I feel like if I had more time with each character i would connect with them better" ... but this isn't actually the kind of "I" statement we want.
It's the same as saying "I feel like you should spend more time on each character" which is just putting "I feel" in front of a "You Should" statement, see how that works?
and If you say "My experience was i spent the whole story thinking about how you need to spend more time with your characters to make them more relatable" you're not really talking about how you experienced the story, you're telling them what they "need to do".
Avoid giving advice.
Even something like "I was kind of bored during the dialogue" is better than telling them what they should do. After all, maybe nobody else was bored during the dialogue. Maybe you were thinking about mashed potatoes and missed how good the dialogue was.
See a good I statement doesn't pretend to have the answers. Sure, taking more time with the characters might be a solution, but maybe there's a pacing thing I'm doing so i'd prefer to find ways of helping readers connect to the characters better in the time allotted.
"i had trouble relating to several of the characters, I didn't make a personal connection with them before moving on to the next character" alerts me to the issue while still allowing me to be the one to decide what to do about it. It doesn't say "I think you need to slow this down" it just says "i couldn't keep up"
And "I couldn't keep up" isn't accusatory or antagonistic or anything like that, so it's an easy more friendly way for an artist to hear feedback.
I did this example for writing because (looks at yet another long ass post) i love writing, but it's true of feedback on anything.
I hope people find this helpful. I didn't write this because of any bad feedback i've gotten (tho gods know i've gotten some bad feedback in my time).
I wrote this because i wish there was a more satisfying balance between critical feedback as the Monster as currently existing on most of the internet, and the Helpful Creature it could be.
I would like more people to feel comfortable giving critical feedback on my little writings. Like, I post poems and stories and like, idk, science and nature articles, and of course i am hoping for people to say nice things about them (and people do! thank you <3 ) but artists do actually often want feedback about the not great stuff too, if it's done politely. If i write a poem and nobody can figure out what it's supposed to be about, i kinda need to know that so i can grow as an artist.
And i feel like maybe there are a lot of people who are too worried they'll come off wrong or hurt someone's feelings, who want to make sure they aren't accidentally a part of the asshole hoard it's so easy to find in comment sections. And this is a great way to help make sure you don't accidentally come off like that. I hope it gives some people the confidence to leave some critical feedback on my writing in the future.
