Finding a WIN When You Feel Like You’re Losing
I needed this today. I crushed my previous deadlift PR by 45lbs!! I went into the day not expecting that at all, especially since I didn’t even know we were deadlifting until I got to the gym. But I’ll tell ya, I NEEDED that win.
I’m back in Nashville after 2 weeks of enjoying time in Northeast Ohio. I’m back in my routine, feeling better than I’ve felt in weeks, and I came into the week ready to buckle down and really tackle some tough work ahead of me. Mentally and physically I felt prepared to take on the increase in volume in my training plan and not just complete it, but come out feeling like a champ, fists pumping in the air come Sunday. Well, that didn’t happen.
The week started off great and all was going well. My big run this week was ticking up to 9 miles now, which gets me outside of that zone of “I can do this no problem - it might not be pretty but I can definitely finish it” mentality. 9 miles is running for over an hour, needing to refuel and hydrate during the run and pushing through both mental and physical resistance. This is when it actually starts to get hard.
I set out yesterday to own that 9 mile run. I was hydrated, I ate properly, and mentally I actually felt excited. It has been a few years since I’ve run over 6 miles and there’s something exhilarating about accomplishing more than your standard mileage run. Unfortunately, my body and mother nature had something else in store for me. I completely underestimated the impact of the sun relentlessly beating down on me and 3.18 miles in to my run, I turned around. I felt beat up, run down, exhausted, overheated and depleted. I stayed properly hydrated and took my salt tabs so all of that was fine, but the sun sucked all of that excitement and optimism right out of me.
I finished a 10k in very sad form and slinked home like a dog with my tail between my legs. This was the first time I have EVER given up on the distance I set out to run. I’m still mad at myself and disappointed I couldn’t push through, but I knew in the moment that I needed to stop.
Today I headed to the gym with a major blow to my ego packed safely in my gym bag and a chunk of my confidence left somewhere on the Cumberland Greenway. I didn’t have high expectations for my performance at the gym today either. We were testing our 1RM backsquat and due to my previous injuries and running volume, I haven’t been squatting as much as my fellow gym mates. As it turns out, just when you think you’re failing or getting weaker, your body finds a way to prove you otherwise.
I matched my previous 1RM squat much to my surprise! Shout out to my coach, Caleb, for honest and safe coaching-- he told me (and I felt like) I could definitely do more weight, but urged me to stop there given my marathon training. Today we also tested our deadlift 1RM. Deadlift has never been a favorite lift of mine and definitely not a strength, but today, somehow in the midst of questioning my progress, strength, resolve and determination, I PRed my deadlift by an entire 45lbs and joined my first 200 club of any lift in Crossfit!!!
This is a really long story just to say that when you’re feeling like you can’t, you need to find a win somewhere. Maybe it’s not 45lbs worth of a win. Maybe it’s just finishing something small when you didn’t think you could. But find that small victory to remind yourself that you are a badass.
I need to recalibrate my psyche this weekend to gear up for Week 9. With my fail on the run yesterday, this unexpected and amazingly awesome win today is really helping to get my mind back on track to take on the challenges ahead.
