Since its unclear if the Vestige is immortal or not I break my own heart thinking about how potentially Kara can't move beyond the lattice with Zerith-var and the angst of that. Of Zerith going 'I will stay and we will find a way I promise.'
It’s so sweet bc you just KNOW that Mike is all Joyce and Jonathan could ever hope for Will: someone who loves him—like REALLY loves him—unconditionally, and it’s in the deepest parts of who he is to protect Will and keep him safe at all times. For a boy who grew up with an abusive father and then no father at all, it must be so cathartic for Joyce and Jonathan to give up their boy and hand him over to someone who lives and breathes his protection and safety. Mike is the antithesis of Lonnie and everything Will needs.
James lifts his head up from where he has his ear pressed against Regulus’ bare chest, settling his chin on Regulus’ shoulder instead, Regulus turning his head so that their eyes meet.
“Just, us.”
“Why the sad face then?” Regulus asks, joking, but his smile drops when he notices the tears welling up in James’ eyes.
“Sometimes this feels like a dream and I’m scared I’m going to wake up,” James whispers.
“Oh, baby.”
Regulus rolls over so that he can pull James into his arms and bring their lips together, trying to put everything he has into the kiss. To show him that they’re here and they’re real and they’re together, and nothing else matters.
i just think its bittersweet and also HILARIOUS in a cosmic way how mitterking and inspekchin parallel each other. (and in my case, theyre both lesbian couples to me)
hector/hekate projecting himself on mitternacht and king 'cuz he's always near them....
'ekta may not act like he cares about 'romance', and its not his top priority, but...i can't help but also think he's a little jealous of how easy mitternacht and king talk to each other.
how he would love to be a bride, to be wedded some day to someone he trusts...as if his answer isn't already there...
and before i speak more let me repeat something good i found about "codependence" vs "interdependence": its OK to depend on your partner...you can give your partner your organs so to speak, but you do need those back you know??
hector KNOWS how much energy capochin is putting into this job. he sees it plain is day. but he's in denial of WHY. he feels...TERRIFIED to be open with him. trying to be his most geniune self around him...but locking his most vulnerable feelings away..
"he...he doesn't like me like that. he doesn't have a crush on me, haha. that's silly. that's a mistake. who would ever...who'd want to kiss me like that? over and over? and...and hold me so close like i actually exist...who would actually stay with someone who's been doing nothing but dictating his life...who even likes that? that's...not ok. how sick am i?"
there's a hopeful silence whenever he really, really wants to listen to capochin...clingy one moment...shy the next...
how he's thought of that with capochin; he ALREADY has that even, but he's SCARED of getting so attached that it'll hurt forever if he loses it...
so he acts all fickle and tests his patience...sometimes i REALLY feel like he's playing hard to get with capochin but can't make up his mind. the more he acts like himself around capochin these days the more scared he gets about capo dying of old age. and how that could manifest in FUCKED up sort of possessive thoughts. so spek is just FIGHTING himself not to be too open with capochin.
AND CAPOCHIN'S LIKE. "THIS ISN'T ENOUGH WHAT AM I DOING WRONG WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WIN HIS LOVE" and there's this STRANGE parallel in their thoughts because DEAR GOD they're pretty much obsessed with each other. bringing out the best and worst of each other but its not all voluntary
like i feel like he's convinced himself that he's respecting capochin's boundaries...by IGNORING HIM? because he feels like he's put him through too much already so if he lets himself be truthful and fully soft there's no going back?? BUT CAPOCHIN IS NOT GETTING THE ANSWERS HE NEEDS ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE? like?? what they have is great already but he yearns for so much more??? 😭
STILL thinking he doesn't have enough! when so many people love him! stemming from building himself from the ground up...
so clearly not WANTING to push others away like he does but hes in this constantly fight with himself. being extroverted initially, but...
"NO YOU NEED TO BE ALONE! ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'LL HURT SOMEONE! YOU'RE TOO DANGEROUS! NO YOU NEED PEOPLE OTHERWISE YOU'RE NOTHING! I CAN'T BE ALONE"
I really don't think he's impossible to handle. But he's SO, SO paranoid when he's at his worst...King was a good influence on him in the past.
just SOOOO jealous of how much easier king seems to have it. not always maliciously envious but the benign kind of envy too. he's SOOOO envious. and its like to the point where he sees mitternacht's role and is like "I COULD DO THIS BETTER THAN SHE COULD!!" like. 🥲 suddenly coming from a place where he has to COMPETE with people he cares about?
i feel like he's secretly even jealous of Capochin, cuz Capochin's always acting AS HIM. Capochin puts things bluntly and sure, Hector's fed up but deep down he doesn't like disturbing people... and just wants it to be "neat and tidy". In the "HEY LOOK AT ME I'M HERE I EXIST" way....
And he likes how Capochin can get things done quickly just by barking around orders...how he can't deny just how much he appreciates him as his mouthpiece delegate 😅 and getting pampered by him without a second thought. 🤨
(Maybe a little TOO MUCH 💀)
I think about how disarmingly GENTLE Hector is toward you even in the first chapter when he's acting SUPER suspect already. Like, he doesn't want to drive you away but he also has the impression of trying to keep you under his thumb?
He's too sucked into work mode that the greed has gotten to him and he feels like friendship actually holds no weight anymore; yet he doesn't want to screw this up. Perfectionism and Defeatism rolled up into one volatile spiteful blunt it feels like
He just. It feels like he's had an emotionally chaotic life and that's permanently messed with his head...
And suddenly when he's met with praise or nice things like games, he gets too relaxed, but he doesn't WANT to fully relax because "IF I'M NOT WORKING, I'M INVISIBLE, I'M A NOBODY!!", constantly feeling unsatisfied and neglected despite all the attention he gets. Especially from Capochin...
Hector what do you mean among a bunch of coup letters you forged a break up letter as King, that ended up backfiring so bad that you ultimately ended up making things worse between you and capochin
orz
"letting words effect you this much? what a drain!" hector. hector. fucking look at me. you jealous little hypocrite freak who i cherish. YOU "BECAME MITTERNACHT" ALRIGHT. UGHHH 💀💀
obviously we cannot forget how MUCH hector fucked up but its like. god with a literal god complex? having that much self hatred when you're immortal? imposter syndrome so bad that you actually start framing people to make yourself look innocent? dear lord.
capochin coping with stress through smoking when his tail hurts too much...like, developing some kind of complex of his own...accidentally and also willingly mirroring inspekta...
it just feels like 'ekta was literally giving up on everything and everyone that made him happy in a fruitless endeavor to finally be seen as "bigger". succumbing to greed because, bad coping skills. this girl bites her own tail, like.
shit obviously happened, but they didn't want to drive each other away. but the abandonment issues keep screwing with their heads. since hector was getting more fed up with this huge responsibility he even wondered if capochin was tired of his role (WHEN CAPOCHIN JUST WANTS HECTOR TO GIVE HIM HIS GENIUNE AFFECTION AGAIN)
hector going haywire in his self sabotage finally fed up with people pleasing, capochin with stewing in his misery in quiet acceptance whenever he tries to be nice...LIKE 😔
you know how a big theme of the bizzyboys is him feeling so spiteful about being pushed around? being demeaned? and how that like fully fucked up hector and capochin's psychology and mindset. the big theme is inferiority complexes its like 😭
i'm gonna get those old farts into situationship counseling if its the last thing i do 💀💀 (spoken like my cornball bizzyboy oc)
Would Adam really hurt Eve? He loved her enough to leave the Garden untainted.. surely he searches for his love even after all this time?
Oh absolutely not. Regardless of how she’s changed he doesn’t have the heart for it. That’s his girl. That’s his wife. That’s his best friend. He could never do that.
However, that’s harder for Eve to understand after all of these years. Because what if he doesn’t forgive her for killing Cain? For leaving him alone? What if he found out that she slept with Lucifer? She doesn’t want to take the risk.
