Was thinking again and I kn0w I submitted an0ther ask previ0usly but this has been 0n my mind and I had menti0ned in my last ask. Ap0l0gies f0r my tq again.
I am transmasc aligned s0mewhat. I'm actually transfutch but being transmasc is apart 0f my transfutch identity s0 yeah.
When I was a freshman in high sch00l I was bullied in 0ne class quite a bit [t0 the p0int I was given a n0te by my teacher t0 be able t0 g0 t0 the library which is where m0st 0f my clases where due t0 a pr0gram I was in] I'd say I was bullied f0r being trans but that wasn't quite it. Sure I was a target but they'd gender me c0rrectly and called me a trans b0y several times and I guess in a m0cking way maybe? But Idk. I never felt that way. It m0re felt intersexist but I didn't kn0w that at the time s0 it just felt weird. They'd m0ck me f0r my andr0gyn0us v0ice and 0nce said my face was "t00 masculine" f0r me t0 be "FTM" [n0t their exact w0rds but it's the general idea] which didn't make me feel great. I use t0 assume maybe they f0rg0t that I was transmasc and n0t transfem? But as time went 0n I n0ticed a pattern. I was always assumed t0 be a cisperisex guy. Either that 0r a "thing" [but that usually w0uld c0me fr0m being bullied f0r being alterhuman]
This pattern still c0ntinues t0day and actually has g0tten w0rse 0ver time. This paired with me having my pitchier andr0gyn0us v0ice bec0ming m0re andr0gyn0us and less distinguishable as pitchy 0r l0wer t0 n0w bec0ming l0wer with me lately c0ughing and having v0ice cracks s0metimes als0 paired with my facial hair and 0ther b0dy hair darkening significantly m0re than they were bef0re had me c0nclude I p0ssibly might have andr0genizing h0r0m0nes affecting my b0dy creating alm0st a sec0nd puberty if that makes sense. I'm purely g0ing 0ff 0f what I have experienced and s0me research I've d0ne. I haven't researched as much as I like m0stly cause I f0rget paired with I'm d0ing s0mething when I remember 0r lack energy. I d0 wish t0 p0ssibly l00k m0re int0 it but it's a pattern I n0ticed in h0w pe0ple perceive me [hence why I align myself with CTF AMAB actually is t0 help myself t0 make sense 0f this pattern and my genitalia as well]
Thank y0u f0r listening
[pt: Was thinking again and I know I submitted another ask previously but this has been on my mind and I had mentioned in my last ask. Apologies for my tq again.
I am transmasc aligned somewhat. I'm actually transfutch but being transmasc is apart of my transfutch identity so yeah.
When I was a freshman in high school I was bullied in one class quite a bit [to the point I was given a note by my teacher to be able to go to the library which is where most of my clases where due to a program I was in] I'd say I was bullied for being trans but that wasn't quite it. Sure I was a target but they'd gender me correctly and called me a trans boy several times and I guess in a mocking way maybe? But Idk. I never felt that way. It more felt intersexist but I didn't know that at the time so it just felt weird. They'd mock me for my androgynous voice and once said my face was "too masculine" for me to be "FTM" [not their exact words but it's the general idea] which didn't make me feel great. I use to assume maybe they forgot that I was transmasc and not transfem? But as time went on I noticed a pattern. I was always assumed to be a cisperisex guy. Either that or a "thing" [but that usually would come from being bullied for being alterhuman]
This pattern still continues today and actually has gotten worse over time. This paired with me having my pitchier androgynous voice becoming more androgynous and less distinguishable as pitchy or lower to now becoming lower with me lately coughing and having voice cracks sometimes also paired with my facial hair and other body hair darkening significantly more than they were before had me conclude I possibly might have androgenizing horomones affecting my body creating almost a second puberty if that makes sense. I'm purely going off of what I have experienced and some research I've done. I haven't researched as much as I like mostly cause I forget paired with I'm doing something when I remember or lack energy. I do wish to possibly look more into it but it's a pattern I noticed in how people perceive me [hence why I align myself with CTF AMAB actually is to help myself to make sense of this pattern and my genitalia as well]
Thank you for listening]
(note, no worries about the typing quirk or the amount of submissions you send in!! Send in as many as you'd like:3)
This is intersexism, transmisia, and alterhumisia.
It's awful that you have to experience this, I'm so sorry. Navigating such hard situations while also trying to understand your intersexuality and identity surrounding that must be very tough.
I am not super knowledgeable about second puberties concerning intersexuality, but it's definitely interesting and I am pretty sure you are experiencing an androgenizing second puberty! And, on the language you use, use whatever terms to help you navigate this, if CTF AMAB helps, then I'm happy for you!
Whenever you need to sort out your thoughts or vent or anything really, my inbox is always open!
