mc: i used to fantasize about dating you and making you less fucked up. but you are a lost cause...
lucifer: [...]
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seen from United States
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mc: i used to fantasize about dating you and making you less fucked up. but you are a lost cause...
lucifer: [...]
LOVE SONGS ON THE RADIO ✶ lando norris !
a day in the life of the norris fam. that is to say: lando really, really likes this little life.
﹙ 🥟 ﹚ 𝒻em ! oc ✴ husband , dad ! lando ◟ 🧸 oneshot , domestic fluff , implied angsty topics ( mentions of postpartum depression ) ◜ᴗ◝ word count. 2.8k radio. hello, angels! first of all, i apologise in advance for the inaccuracies in tangents about of mental health issues and medical emergencies. regardless, i hope you like the read. the positive response on this series so far means so much to me. do let me know if you guys have any requests! / 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘.
The little rusted bell dangling from a door with mahogany veneer chipping off it chimes when they push through into the restaurant. The smell of freshly baked garlic bread and noodles lathered in an obscene amount of sauce that would make his nutritionist blush floods them immediately.
“Alright, little man. You decide on our menu yet?” Lando asks, glancing at the tiny figure next to him.
Zeke has his lips parted, head tilted back, looking above at the mural of stars in the sky painted on the ceilings. He snaps to attention just enough for three rapid nods. “The chocolate one? Please please please–”
“We talked about this already,” Lando sighs, cutting off this newly discovered tactic of repeating words until the toddler eventually gets his way. Complete resistance is still a work in progress, but it's far easier to deal with a grumpy kid than a sick one.
And anyway, who puts chocolate on pita bread and calls it pizza?
✧ Thirty Days, One Signature
✧ Pairing: Lee Heeseung x Fem!Reader (Y/N)
✧ Genre: Fake Marriage AU, Reality Show AU, Accidental Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Comedy, Fluff, Slow Burn, Idol AU
✧ Word Count: 8.5k!
✧ Synopsis: Due to a reality show mishap and one very unfortunate contract, you and Heeseung are legally married for thirty days. The annulment should be easy. The feelings are not.
The wedding certificate surfaced at 2:13 a.m.
Not in a courtroom.
Not in a government office.
But on a giant LED screen in the middle of a live broadcast while six cameramen screamed over each other and a producer fainted somewhere behind the set.
Y/N stared at the document projected above the stage, her mouth hanging open.
Beside her, Lee Heeseung looked equally horrified.
“Wait,” Sunghoon said slowly from the sidelines, holding a cue card upside down. “Are you guys… actually married?”
The studio fell into complete silence.
Then Jake burst into laughter so hard he slid off his chair.
───
It had started as a stupid reality show segment.
The producers of Idol House: Chaos Edition thought it would be funny to create fake “marriage missions” where celebrities signed novelty contracts and completed ridiculous couple challenges for points. Cooking together. Matching outfits. Pretending to argue over laundry.
Nothing legally binding.
At least that was the plan.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, one intern accidentally mixed the fake marriage forms with authentic district office paperwork borrowed for “realism.” Nobody noticed because the filming location happened to be an actual event hall licensed for civil ceremonies.
And because the universe apparently enjoyed suffering, both Y/N and Heeseung had signed everything without reading it.
On camera.
With witnesses.
And a legally certified officiant standing three feet away.
The network’s legal team discovered the mistake three weeks after filming wrapped.
By then the marriage had already been registered.
Officially.
Legally.
Catastrophically.
───
“We can annul it, right?” Y/N asked for the fifteenth time.
Three lawyers sat across from her in tense silence.
One finally adjusted his glasses.
“In theory? Yes.”
“In theory?” she repeated weakly.
The lawyer smiled the way people smiled before delivering terrible news.
“The contract has a technical validity period due to the nature of the filing. Until the court reviews the dispute, you are legally recognized as married for thirty days.”
Y/N blinked.
“Thirty—”
“Thirty days,” he confirmed.
Beside her, Heeseung leaned back against the couch and covered his face with both hands.
Jay, who had insisted on attending “for emotional support and possible entertainment,” whispered, “This is the greatest day of my life.”
Y/N threw a cushion at him.
───
The news exploded online within hours.
#HEESEUNGMARRIED trended worldwide.
Then #FREEREADER.
Then, somehow, #DIVORCEPARTY.
Fans thought it was a marketing stunt at first. Then the official statement dropped.
«Due to a procedural issue involving production documentation, artist Lee Heeseung and civilian participant Y/N are currently involved in legal clarification regarding an invalid marital registration.»
That somehow made things worse.
Now reporters camped outside HYBE.
Memes flooded every social media platform.
Someone edited wedding photos of Y/N and Heeseung despite there being no actual wedding photos.
Ni-ki printed one out and framed it.
───
“You don’t have to move in,” Heeseung said carefully two days later.
Y/N stared at him across the company conference room.
The legal advisor cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Actually…”
Both of them turned.
“Due to public scrutiny and concerns over media interference, it may strengthen your annulment case if you demonstrate cooperative domestic behavior instead of apparent fraud avoidance.”
Silence.
Jay burst into laughter again.
Sunoo looked delighted.
Jungwon looked exhausted already.
“You’re saying,” Y/N said slowly, “that we have to live together.”
“For thirty days,” the advisor confirmed.
Heeseung dropped his head onto the table.
───
Moving into Enhypen’s dorm was not part of Y/N’s life plan.
Especially not as someone’s accidental wife.
The members reacted exactly as badly as expected.
Jake greeted her at the door with, “Welcome home, sister-in-law.”
Sunghoon almost choked on water trying not to laugh.
Sunoo immediately dragged her into the kitchen to discuss skincare routines like they’d known each other for years.
Jungwon apologized every ten minutes for the chaos.
Ni-ki asked if he could call her “Mrs. Heeseung” just to annoy him.
“No,” Heeseung said instantly.
“Yes,” Ni-ki answered at the same time.
───
The first week was unbearable.
Not because Heeseung was rude.
That would have been easier.
Instead, he was painfully considerate.
He moved his gaming equipment out of the spare room so she could have privacy. He labeled shelves in the fridge because she mentioned liking organization. He left snacks outside her door after long days because he noticed she skipped meals when stressed.
And somehow that was worse.
Because Y/N had prepared herself to dislike him.
She hadn’t prepared for kindness.
One night she wandered into the kitchen at 1 a.m. unable to sleep and found him sitting on the counter eating cereal straight from the box.
He looked up in surprise.
“You too?”
“Nightmare,” she muttered.
“Same.”
For a moment neither spoke.
Rain tapped softly against the windows.
The dorm lights were dim except for the stove lamp glowing gold across the kitchen.
“You know,” Heeseung said eventually, “if this bothers you too much… I can stay somewhere else.”
Y/N frowned.
“It’s your dorm.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t ask for any of this.”
Neither did he.
That realization hit unexpectedly hard.
For weeks she’d been so consumed by her own humiliation she forgot he was trapped too.
Heeseung rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
“My mom keeps asking if she should send wedding gifts.”
Y/N snorted before she could stop herself.
He stared.
Then laughed too.
It was the first genuine moment between them.
And somehow the beginning of everything.
───
The media only got more aggressive.
Dispatch followed them constantly.
Every accidental interaction became a headline.
HEESEUNG CARRIES WIFE’S SHOPPING BAGS
(He carried one bag.)
MARRIED COUPLE SPOTTED ON SECRET DATE
(It was a pharmacy.)
Fans analyzed every frame of every livestream.
One clip of Heeseung unconsciously fixing Y/N’s hood before she walked outside reached three million views in a day.
“Why are people zooming into my fingers?” he asked in horror.
“Because apparently your pinky touching my sleeve is romantic.”
Jake nearly fell off the couch laughing.
───
Somewhere around day twelve, things changed.
Not dramatically.
Not all at once.
Just quietly.
Like realizing the dorm felt calmer when Heeseung was around.
Like noticing he always saved the last strawberry from dessert because she liked them.
Like how he looked for her first in crowded rooms without realizing it.
One evening the members were filming content in the living room while Y/N worked nearby.
Sunoo suddenly asked, “Who confessed first?”
Y/N nearly inhaled her drink.
“We’re not dating,” she coughed.
“But if you were?” Sunoo pressed.
Heeseung glanced up from his phone.
The eye contact lasted barely a second.
Too long anyway.
Ni-ki gasped dramatically.
“Oh my god.”
“Stop being weird,” Heeseung muttered.
But his ears had turned red.
───
The storm hit on day nineteen.
A tabloid released articles claiming the marriage was fabricated for publicity.
The backlash was immediate and vicious.
People called Y/N manipulative.
Attention-seeking.
A liar.
She stopped checking her phone after the first thousand comments.
That night she sat alone on the dorm rooftop wrapped in a hoodie, trying very hard not to cry.
The door creaked open behind her.
Heeseung walked over quietly holding two cans of soda.
“I figured you’d be here.”
She accepted the drink without looking at him.
“They hate me.”
“No,” he said firmly. “They hate rumors.”
“It’s different.”
“It’s not.”
Y/N laughed bitterly.
“You’re used to this.”
Heeseung was silent for a moment.
Then softer:
“You think it doesn’t still hurt?”
That made her look at him.
For the first time she saw the exhaustion beneath his calm expression. The pressure. The endless scrutiny. The way idols learned to carry pain elegantly because cameras never stopped rolling.
He sat beside her on the concrete ledge.
“When I debuted,” he said quietly, “I thought if I worked hard enough people would only see good things about me.”
“And?”
“And eventually you realize people see whatever they want.”
The city lights reflected in his eyes.
“But the people who matter,” he continued, “they stay.”
Y/N swallowed hard.
“Why are you being nice to me?”
He looked genuinely confused.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
The answer should’ve been simple.
Instead her chest tightened painfully.
───
On day twenty-four, they accidentally went viral again.
This time because Y/N fell asleep during a movie night and unconsciously leaned against Heeseung’s shoulder.
The members noticed immediately.
Jay silently filmed everyone’s reactions while Jake covered his mouth trying not to scream.
Sunghoon whispered, “No way.”
Heeseung, meanwhile, froze entirely.
Y/N slept peacefully against him completely unaware that the room had entered collective cardiac arrest.
Then very carefully—
almost nervously—
he adjusted the blanket around her shoulders.
The clip spread online within hours.
Fans collectively lost their minds.
───
“You know what’s terrifying?” Jungwon said later.
“What?”
“You two act married even when you forget the cameras exist.”
Neither Y/N nor Heeseung had an answer for that.
Because it was true.
Somehow they’d fallen into habits naturally.
Waiting for each other before meals.
Sharing inside jokes.
Texting each other first about stupid things during the day.
It stopped feeling temporary.
And that scared both of them more than the legal paperwork ever had.
───
Day twenty-nine arrived too quickly.
The annulment hearing was scheduled for the next morning.
One signature and everything would disappear.
The marriage.
The scandal.
The last month.
Y/N stood in the kitchen unable to sleep again.
A familiar voice appeared behind her.
“Can’t rest?”
She shook her head.
Heeseung leaned against the doorway quietly.
Neither mentioned what tomorrow meant.
Finally he spoke.
“You know… when this started, I thought thirty days would feel impossible.”
Y/N smiled faintly.
“Same.”
“And now?”
The question lingered heavily between them.
Dangerously.
Y/N looked down at her hands.
“I don’t know.”
Heeseung stepped closer.
Close enough that her heartbeat turned traitorous.
“I do,” he said softly.
Her breath caught.
For once Lee Heeseung looked nervous.
Actually nervous.
Not idol-nervous. Not camera-nervous.
Real nervous.
“I think,” he said carefully, “somewhere between the legal disaster and Sunghoon almost setting the kitchen on fire…”
A laugh escaped her unexpectedly.
His smile appeared too.
“I fell in love with you.”
The world stopped.
No cameras.
No headlines.
No contracts.
Just him.
Waiting.
Terrified.
Honest.
Y/N stared at him for a long moment before whispering:
“This is probably the worst confession timing in history.”
Heeseung groaned dramatically.
“Please don’t reject me legally and emotionally at the same time.”
She laughed so hard tears filled her eyes.
And before she could overthink it—
before fear could interfere—
she reached for him first.
His hands found her waist instantly like instinct.
The kiss felt warm and dizzying and long overdue.
When they finally pulled apart, both breathless, Heeseung rested his forehead against hers.
“So…” he murmured.
“So?”
“Should we still annul the marriage?”
Y/N pretended to think.
“Hm. Maybe we should stop accidentally getting married first.”
He laughed softly against her lips.
Somewhere down the hallway, a door slammed open.
“I KNEW IT—” Jake screamed.
Followed immediately by six other voices losing their minds.
Heeseung closed his eyes.
“We’re never going to know peace again.”
Y/N grinned.
“Probably not, husband.”
And honestly?
Neither of them minded anymore.
—
The problem with confessing your feelings in a dorm full of curious idols was that absolutely nobody respected privacy.
Not a single person.
The second Jake screamed, every door in the hallway flew open.
Sunoo appeared first.
Then Jungwon.
Then Ni-ki.
Then Jay.
Then Sunghoon, who somehow arrived carrying a bag of chips despite having been asleep less than ten seconds earlier.
Y/N and Heeseung jumped apart so fast they nearly tripped over themselves.
Unfortunately, the damage was already done.
The members stared.
Heeseung stared back.
Y/N contemplated climbing out the nearest window.
"No way," Ni-ki whispered dramatically.
"No actual way."
Jake pointed at them like he'd just discovered a new species.
"THEY KISSED."
"We know they kissed," Jay replied.
"How do you know?"
"I have eyes."
Sunoo immediately burst into tears.
Nobody knew why.
Not even Sunoo.
───
The next morning was somehow worse.
Because now they had to attend the annulment hearing.
Together.
After confessing.
After kissing.
After spending half the night being interrogated by six overexcited witnesses.
The drive to the courthouse was painfully quiet.
Y/N sat beside Heeseung in the back seat.
Their hands occasionally brushed.
Neither moved away.
Neither knew what to say.
Finally Heeseung sighed.
"This is weird."
"This is weird."
They spoke simultaneously.
Both laughed.
The tension eased slightly.
"Are you scared?" he asked.
Y/N looked out the window.
The city blurred past.
"A little."
"Me too."
The honesty made her smile.
Because for all the confidence he showed on stage, Heeseung wasn't fearless.
He worried.
Overthought.
Second-guessed.
Just like everyone else.
Maybe that's why being around him felt so easy.
───
The hearing itself lasted less than thirty minutes.
Thirty minutes.
After thirty days of chaos.
Thirty days of headlines.
Thirty days of accidental marriage.
The judge reviewed the documents carefully.
Listened to the network's legal explanation.
Questioned both parties.
Then adjusted his glasses
.
"To summarize," he said.
Everyone nodded.
"You two accidentally entered a legally recognized marriage due to production negligence."
"Correct."
"You did not intend to become married."
"Correct."
The judge looked down at the paperwork.
Then back up.
His expression changed.
Very slightly.
Almost amused.
"And yet according to witness testimony..."
The judge glanced toward the stack of statements.
"...you have been functioning as a married couple for nearly a month."
Y/N wanted the floor to swallow her.
Immediately.
Forever.
Beside her, Heeseung looked equally horrified.
The witness statements had come from the members.
Which was already a terrible sign.
───
The judge cleared his throat.
"One witness claims you cook together."
Sunghoon.
Traitor.
"Another says you wait for each other before eating."
Jake.
Obviously.
"One statement contains six pages regarding emotional compatibility."
Sunoo.
Definitely Sunoo.
Y/N covered her face.
The judge continued.
"Someone also submitted a chart."
"..."
"..."
"A chart."
"That was Jay," Heeseung said instantly.
───
The judge finally set the documents aside.
The room became quiet.
Professional.
Serious again.
"The marriage can absolutely be annulled."
Y/N's stomach dropped unexpectedly.
Because this was what she'd wanted.
Wasn't it?
The whole time.
The annulment.
The freedom.
The end of the mess.
So why did it suddenly feel wrong?
She glanced sideways.
Heeseung was already looking at her.
The same realization seemed to hit both of them simultaneously.
Because neither looked relieved.
At all.
───
The judge noticed.
Unfortunately.
His eyes narrowed.
Then he asked the most dangerous question imaginable.
"Do either of you still wish to proceed?"
Silence.
Absolute silence.
The lawyers froze.
The network representatives froze.
Even the court clerk looked interested now.
Y/N's heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears.
Beside her, Heeseung took a breath.
Then another.
Then stood.
Every head turned toward him.
Including hers.
And before anyone could stop him—
before legal teams could panic—
before common sense could intervene—
Lee Heeseung spoke.
"I don't."
The room erupted.
───
Three hours later, every major entertainment outlet in South Korea had posted updates.
The headlines were catastrophic
HEESEUNG REFUSES ANNULMENT
REAL FEELINGS CONFIRMED
ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE BECOMES INTENTIONAL
The internet exploded.
Again.
Y/N wasn't even surprised anymore.
She'd become immune.
At this point a meteor could strike the building and she'd simply ask if Dispatch had photographs.
───
"What have we done?" she asked.
They sat on a bench outside the courthouse.
Reporters crowded the street beyond security barriers.
Fans gathered nearby.
The world felt louder than ever.
Heeseung sat beside her.
Close enough that their shoulders touched.
"I think," he said carefully, "I may have ruined our lives."
Y/N laughed.
A genuine laugh.
The first relaxed one she'd had all day.
"Only may have?"
"Okay."
He sighed dramatically.
"I definitely ruined our lives."
"Good."
He blinked.
"Good?"
"If we're ruining our lives, we might as well do it together."
For a second he simply stared.
Then the smile appeared.
That smile.
The one fans loved.
The one that reached his eyes.
The one she secretly liked most.
His fingers found hers.
Intertwining naturally.
Comfortably.
Like they belonged there.
───
The company nearly had a collective breakdown.
Meetings happened.
Then more meetings.
Then emergency meetings about the previous meetings.
Executives panicked.
Managers panicked.
Legal departments panicked.
The members found everything hilarious.
"You rejected freedom for love," Jay said.
"In this economy."
Heeseung threw a pillow at him.
──
A week later the story had spread internationally.
Surprisingly, public reaction softened.
People stopped focusing on the mistake.
Stopped focusing on the scandal.
Instead they focused on something else.
The fact that two people who were never supposed to meet this way had somehow found each other anyway.
The absurdity became almost romantic.
Almost.
There were still memes.
Thousands of memes.
───
Three months later, Y/N stood backstage at one of Enhypen's concerts.
The arena roared with energy.
Lightsticks illuminated the darkness like stars.
Heeseung was preparing for the final stage when he spotted her waiting near the side entrance.
His face immediately brightened.
The reaction happened so naturally he didn't even realize it.
But everyone else did.
Jake nearly collapsed laughing.
Sunghoon rolled his eyes.
Jungwon sighed like a tired parent.
"He does that every time."
"Every time," Jay agreed.
───
After the concert ended, Heeseung found her immediately.
Sweaty.
Exhausted.
Glowing from adrenaline.
"How was it?"
"Amazing."
His grin widened.
"Really?"
"Really."
The crowd was still chanting outside.
The members were running around nearby.
Staff hurried through the corridors.
Yet somehow the moment felt strangely private.
Just theirs.
Heeseung gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
A simple gesture.
One he'd done countless times now.
Still capable of making her heart race.
"Hey," he said softly.
"Hm?"
"You know."
"What?"
His smile turned teasing.
"We technically never had a real wedding."
Y/N narrowed her eyes.
"Oh no."
"Oh yes."
The excitement on his face was immediate.
Dangerous.
"I've been thinking."
"That's concerning."
"We should have one."
She groaned instantly.
He laughed.
Then pulled her closer.
"Not a giant one."
"Good."
"Not a televised one."
"Excellent."
"Maybe just family."
Y/N paused.
Because somehow that sounded perfect.
Simple.
Warm.
Real.
Everything their accidental beginning hadn't been.
She smiled.
"I'll think about it."
"You love me."
"I do."
His entire face softened.
Every ounce of teasing disappearing.
Like hearing those words still surprised him.
Still mattered.
Maybe it always would.
"I love you too," he whispered.
And for once there were no cameras.
No contracts.
No legal mistakes.
No headlines.
Just two people whose story had started with an accident—
And continued because they chose each other.
Every single day after.
(possible fic/drabble)? driverxreader
Driver notices a new face in the elevator with moving boxes, which just so happen to belong to his new neighbor.
You sheepishly ask him for help moving something heavy and he obliges.
Later you slip a note asking if he has any preferences, planning on making him something as a thank you and your awaiting his response.
(lol idk just thought of the idea🤷♀️
𝜗ৎ » helping hand | gn!reader
. . . a/n: hi baby anon, cute idea, hope u like <3 i made reader a baker bc driver deserves a little sweet treat. i miss him.
— in which, you move into your new apartment and meet your handsome new neighbour, driver .✦ ݁˖
Steve Harrington showing up to Hellfire made sense.
He knew the kids. After The Incident of which they Do Not Speak Of, he knew Eddie. There was a friendship there that was pulling him into Hellfire’s orbit, and the elder members followed their leader's cues when it came to jocks who had decided to redeem themselves and evolve into beloved town hall heroes.
Showing up to Corroded Coffin’s recently restarted band practice required a bit more adjusting, but it was fine.
Everything was fine.
Steve showing up in the middle of a heated, completely nonsensical argument with Eddie, was also, unfortunately, growing to be something normal and fine--but arguing over Jeff specifically?
That was a little harder to ignore.
“That’s my Robin.” Eddie had started, pointing sternly towards Jeff as he marched up Gareth’s driveway.
Steve rolled his eyes.
“You already claimed Gareth as your Robin, you can't also claim Jeff.”
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆⚰︎⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧ ➸ 𝗧𝗪𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗔’𝗦 𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗕𝗘𝗥𝟮𝟱 ➸ 𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥 ➸ remote control vibrator • poly!marauders
𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: public sex/orgasms, multiple orgasms, kind of edging, use of remote control vibrator, poly!marauders, but not written very well, everyone subs for remus, not proofread
𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: @maraudersgirlsposts @thenasoneshots @thegoddessofnothingness @xrxbellxsblog @laushine @pottermagiczz @girlyglues @f1fan676 @anyarob @madyyyslovs @mischievousmoony @sprace-javey @nislame @lotsostrawberrybear @jazlinda
𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱
𝗔/𝗡: i’ve never written poly!m before so this sucks.. and there’s only so many ways you can describe a vibrator 🥴 hope you love it anyway <3
You’d never had a birthday present so torturous.
And having three boyfriends who all had the app on their phones, and liked to use it in different situations? That was even worse. The first time you tried it was at home, all three boys switching their gazes from Remus’ phone screen to you, shaking and whining in a messy heap on the bed.
“Worth the money.” James remarked.
Remus nodded in agreement. “S’gonna get a lot of use.”
“Especially in public.” Sirius added, and the other two agreed again, so fascinated with the intricacies of the vibrator that they’d forgotten it was still buzzing away at full speed inside you, and you had already orgasmed three times since it had turned on.
And they used it in public, alright.
Remus liked to use it in places where you had to struggle harder to be quiet. The library, quiet cafes- once he turned it on when you were sat in the dead silent waiting room of your doctor’s surgery, full of people, not one of them saying a word. That was torture.
You had to squeeze your legs shut, because even though the boys swore it was inconspicuous, you were worried that anyone in close proximity would be able to hear the buzzing. Your eyes rolled back into your head, which you dropped onto Remus’ shoulder, trying to steady your breathing.
Remus just chuckled, interlacing your fingers with his own. When you curled both of your arms around one of his, he placed a soft kiss into your hair, as if there was nothing amiss- that maybe you were just tired, or suffering from whichever ailment had brought you to the doctor in the first place.
“You can say stop,” he whispered against the top of your head. “Tell me if you want me to turn it off.”
“No- s’fine..” you breathed. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but you had already been wound up, and you were chasing a release. The vibrator buzzed continuously, gyrating against the right spot inside of you, which sent butterflies tearing through your stomach, akin to that feeling of the slow climb up a rollercoaster.
“Moony..” you croaked after a few minutes, as quietly as you could. Your grip tightened around his arm, and he smoothed a hand over the back of your head, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
Remus didn’t need you to finish your sentence. He was smart enough, and clued in enough on your cues that he recognised the tone of your voice- the one you adopted when you were about to cum. Whiny, hushed, and positively breathless. The sound of it caused his cock to strain against his jeans, aroused by the knowledge that you were trying to stop yourself from having a screaming orgasm in front of all of these people. The nearest people were a few seats away, sure, but it’s not like they wouldn’t have perked up if you’d suddenly started moaning.
“Nice and quiet for me, sweet girl.” Remus whispered, holding you against him as your legs started to shake gently. “That’s it, cum for me, but don’t make a sound, you’ll get us caught.”
James liked to use the vibrator on you when you were out and about, running errands. He preferred to spice up the mundane parts of life, otherwise he’d never get them done, so his favourite place to torture you was the supermarket. You often went food shopping together for your one-on-one time, and you’d fallen into a habit of doing it late at night.
So, it wasn’t a people thing for James. It was more like he enjoyed the sight of you failing to function whilst carrying out tasks that you’d typically be able to complete- such as food shopping. The most notable time was the one where there were only a few other people in the shop, but it would still be considered busy for 11pm on a Thursday.
“We need to go down here,” you said as you rounded on James, and you could tell by the smirk on his face that you knew what was coming. “There are people. Please, do not-”
“Don’t do what?” James asked innocently, looking up from his phone. You tried to muster your best death stare as it kicked in, your hands flying out to grip the handle of the shopping trolley. It was on a low level, to begin with, so you took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and stormed off down the aisle.
So James turned it up.
Just as you reached up to a high shelf for something, you had to fight not to double over and make it obvious that your walls were tightening around the toy that was pulsating rhythmically inside of you. You shot James a glare, and he just laughed to himself.
As soon as you had made it out of that aisle and into the next one, which, thankfully for you, was empty, you sighed. Your head dropped back against one of the shelves, and you let out a quiet moan, chest heaving up and down.
“Y’alright, darling?” he checked, feigning ignorance again. You nodded, and another soft squeak left your lips.
“Yes- just- cumming- give me a minute-” you choked out. You felt the climax crashing over you, hips shuddering against the shelf as James leaned over you, bringing his lips down to meet yours so that you could moan freely against his mouth, muffling the sound as much as he physically could.
Sirius was a lot riskier with it. Almost as if he wanted people to know that he was making you squirm just by pressing buttons on his phone. He liked to do it at parties. Typically, you begged him not to, but on his birthday, you supposed it was the nice thing to do.
You were stood in the kitchen, holding a drink, talking to Mary and Lily about the getaway they had planned to go on together, when you felt it start up. You knew it was coming beforehand, because you had felt Sirius’ eyes on you, assessing. When he pulled out his phone shortly after, you knew it was coming. But it still caught you off guard.
“I’ve heard that it’s really nice this- ahem- this time of.. year..” you faltered, forcing a smile onto your face. Mary eyed you suspiciously, but brushed it off when you carried on speaking.
You felt the toy whirring away inside you, and it you were stood at such an angle that it was brushing against your cervix every time it pulsated- because Sirius was oddly amused by the stupidly rhythmic settings, and often teased you with them- but you had to steel your gaze and pretend you were listening to Lily.
“I’ll send you the link so you can look at the photos!” she offered brightly. You tried for a casual, but still enthusiastic ‘Mhm’, and you just about managed it, even though your voice cracked.
“Tell Lils and Mary about where we went last week, babe.” Sirius instructed. You sighed, cutting him a look, but cleared your throat and tried to keep things inconspicuous.
“We, um- we went to that bar that you told us about.” you began, proud of yourself for managing to get through a full sentence, but just as you went to speak again, you felt your walls tightening around the vibrator. “S’nice. I had a- a really good time. James was sick in a bush.”
Mary asked you questions, and you answered them with increasing levels of effort. You were halfway through inviting Lily to the hairdresser’s with you when you felt your resolve shattering completely.
Determined not to lose this little game you had silently established with Sirius, you just gripped the kitchen counter, gritted your teeth, and rode out your orgasm as it unravelled you.
“What’s wrong with her?” James asked lowly, leaning down to speak into Sirius’ ear as he walked into the kitchen and picked up on your body language. Sirius tilted his phone in James’ direction. James laughed, shaking his head.
“Moony.” he called, turning around to catch Remus’ attention as he walked past. Remus leaned in the doorway, eyes roving over your body. You looked away from Mary and Lily just long enough to catch the three of them, leaning in the doorway, all smirking as they watched you, and that cemented the knowledge that your torture was far from over.
[You're working alongside Sanji at the Baratie. Something between soulmates and archenemies, the two of you are a pair of equally genius and chaos-prone chefs. Zeff is beside himself whenever he discovers a culinary crime scene but don't worry, he knows who to blame. It's always the usual suspects.]
Compared to the chaos of a dinner service, the three of you are unnaturally still. Well, four, if you were to include the innocent duck sitting in a large pot. Truthfully, you'd love to switch places with the poultry. You wouldn't even mind being covered with numerous herbs and spices. At least then you wouldn't have to suffer Zeff's fury and Sanji itching to talk back at the chef, inevitably making things worse. The two of you really didn't need to aggravate Zeff any further, not after the confit byaldi incident last week.
Zeff was set alight with anger. His face turned the colour of a rather ripe beetroot. Furious gaze jumped between you and Sanji, as though Zeff was still deciding whose head he was going to chop off first. Barely containing himself, Zeff's entire physique shook slightly, making even his elaborate moustache twitch in a quite funny way.
A morbid silence fell in the kitchen as Zeff roared at you:
"How come whenever something goes tits up in this shithole it's always the two of you?!"
i ADORE your bloodymary & rocky with platonic reader stuff - there’s barely any out there. i would love to see more !! maybe ways they show each other affection ? or how they spend their time together on erid? have a lovely day <3 !!
Aaaah! I love that I’m providing the platonic x reader content people want to see! I love smut/romantic relationships as much as the next person, but I love fluff and sweet moments just as much or even more.
Grace, Simon, Rocky, and Adrian are amazing characters and I love focusing more on how they could be in those fluffy moments more than the romantic/sexual ones. It’s just a personal preference that I’m glad people enjoy!
Okay! Let’s get this going! I framed this as a headcanons post, so I hope that’s okay!
Spoilers for Project Hail Mary/Iron Lung, so be aware!
MDNI
This is like a mix of what happens when ya’ll get to Erid, how you spend your time, and how affection is shown. Just a big mish mash.
Edit: Masterlist Here!
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- Rocky is extremely protective of everyone on the Hail Mary, connecting back to his trauma with his deceased crew.
- Once you all get to Erid, he becomes the number one human expert besides the three actual humans.
- He enlists his mate Adrian and a very skilled set of Eridians to create the perfect ecosystem for all three of his favorite humans.
- You’re all very banged up from the trip as food had begun to run low. Ryland got scurvy and had lost massive amounts of body mass, you bled from the nose frequently and blacked out more than slept, and Simon became a bit of a feral creature who snapped at anyone that wasn’t the Hail Mary crew while coughing up blood and suffering from extreme migraines.
- You were all put into medically induced comas to heal better as the Eridians manufactured the vitamins and food you all needed to survive.
- Armando was working overtime.
- Once you all woke up and could function again, you were introduced to Adrian! Adrian is incredibly thankful for all three of you, saving the planet and taking care of their precious mate.
- Adrian fusses more over you than the other two, even after they understand that you’re not actually a child/pebble. You’re just so young!! You were put in charge of a ship?! Cue panicked and angry whistles.
- Adrian is HUGE, like twice the size of Ryland and he’s 6’2.
- Adrian is so excited to show you all the biodome, watching the three of you excitedly look around. Simon in the garden, Ryland looking out at the ocean, and you rolling around in a manufactured grassy field they’d made for “enrichment” as Rocky put it.
- Simon and Ryland get their own room and your’s is a bit down the hall in the cabin they’d built all of you.
- Everyone’s things from the Hail Mary are moved inside, but they also design things you’d need like dishes and clothes.
- You end up being Grace’s teaching assistant as Simon cares for the garden at home and helps a small Eridian team cultivate the seeds they had on the Hail Mary.
- You guys have tons of food options now and use the laptop to figure out how to make all kinds of things to eat.
- Simon and Grace love to cook together, it’s something they both enjoy doing together.
- You stay out of it so they can have their moments, setting the table and washing dishes.
- Rocky and Adrian still think human eating is gross, but they’ll come over after dinner to hang out and play games or watch movies.
- Adrian has been teaching you how to mold Eridian clay into sculptures, sitting with you and guiding your hands as you mold fragile pieces and shapes.
- Adrian and Simon get along incredibly well, just like how Grace and Simon do.
- On days where Grace and Rocky are occupied and Simon goes to hang out with Adrian, you take care of the house and explore the biodome’s manufactured forest.
- You’ve been found more than once sleeping on the softest patch of moss you could find, carried home by whoever ended up finding you before the manufactured sun went down.
- They always feel bad that they left you alone, especially Rocky and Adrian because of what they’ve read about humans being social creatures and pack animals, but you reassure everyone that you enjoy your small moments alone.
- Rocky and Simon teach you engineering and math while Adrian and Grace teach you sciences. (and more math)
- Simon is always incredibly anxious about you and Grace swimming, ready at a moment’s notice to dive in and save either of you from drowning.
- Adrian on more than one occasion has dragged you back so you wouldn’t go too deep, despite your protests.
- Adrian carries you around on their back, claiming that, “pebbles need rest” even though once again, they are aware by human standards that you aren’t a child.
- Adrian can’t help but see you as a pebble sometimes, you’re only twenty!! That’s so young!!
- Simon and Grace start having date nights as they get closer and closer.
- This gives you and Rocky the chance to recreate iconic movie date scenes! Cue badly made spaghetti and violin music played from the laptop speakers.
- They kiss for the first time and all you hear in the background is, “disgust disgust disgust!” And “awwww!”
- Adrian will drag you and Rocky away so Simon and Grace can have some privacy, but the two think it’s cute so no harm done.
- Simon loves when you help out in the garden and loves teaching you about plants even more.
- I think it’d be funny if other Eridians tried to send Grace and Simon courting gifts and all of them got intercepted by Rocky and Adrian.
- Also just a big ol Eridian culture headcanon, but I think jewelry while being a very big part of their culture would also have different meanings based on its construction/who it was given to/who it was given by?
- So if Adrian or Rocky gave Simon/Grace a necklace that was made from precious stones, flashy, large, that would be considered a courting gift.
- but if they gave you something like that, it would be more compact, less flashy, smaller, and would symbolize parental protection and love.
- Basically saying, “this is my kid. I adopted them. Leave them alone. They have parents already.”
- You have a necklace like that given to you by Adrian and Rocky. The two Eridians also helped Ryland and Simon make you two bracelets that represent them as your parents.
- You’ve got that Eridian swag on.
- And four parents.
- You have to unlearn a lot of behaviors you learned on Asora, like hoarding.
- You hoard literally everything like it’s the end of the world when you first get to Erid. Like- bro no one is taking anything from you please calm down.
- You hide food in your room, soft things, tools, anything and everything.
- Rocky and Adrian find the hoard and you have a sit down with Grace and talk about how on Erid, you won’t have to fight for resources.
- That quells your nerves and you stop hoarding. (For the most part)
- You still keep snacks in your room, but that’s so Grace doesn’t eat them.
- All of your lifespans get extended by the scientists on Erid, which you think is crazy.
- That’s when you dropped the bomb that life expectancy on Asora was like 35 max.
- Excuse me W H A T.
- The Eridians love their traumatized humans very much!
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That’s all for now! Hope you enjoyed! Have a nice day!
- Moss Man (but with a million pride flags sticking out of the moss)