Necroseer of the Green Dales, Vanquisher of the Rebel Mages of Ferelden, Crusher of the vile Apostates of the Mage Underground, Champion of the Blessed Andraste herself!
art by @igrraine, tysm again >.<
Cullen found her by absence before he found her by sight.
She was not where she was supposed to be, no quiet corner near the ambassadors, no polite semicircle of attendants orbiting the Inquisitor. The room felt… off, like a ship missing its anchor. He excused himself with practiced ease, murmured something about reports and timing, and followed the faint tug of instinct down a side gallery where the music softened and the air cooled and his confirmation was the soft white moth that nested near a window.
Esfir had claimed a long chaise as though it had personally offended her and she had decided to win the argument anyway. She lay stretched along it at an unladylike angle, arms lifted and folded behind her head, posture loose in a way she almost never allowed herself in public, not since Haven. One leg was bent, the other draped over the edge, green silk pooling like spilled wine. Her head was tipped back slightly, eyes half lidded, expression hovering somewhere between boredom and mild, tipsy amusement.
Maker, help me.
She looked simply beautiful. Not ceremonially so, not painfully composed. Warm. Alive. The tension that usually lived in her shoulders had slipped away, and the mark was quiet enough that even Cullen could feel the difference. Her hair had loosened, curls escaping their careful arrangement. A faint flush warmed her cheeks, the sort that came from wine taken too quickly and relief taken too rarely.
Her eyes slid sideways, sharp even now, and then softened. “There you are,” she said, voice low, fond, and entirely unsuited to the Winter Palace. “I was starting to think Orlais had eaten you.”
Cullen stopped a careful distance away, arms folding loosely. “You disappeared,” he said, though there was no reprimand in it. “I was looking for you.”
She hummed, rolling one shoulder languidly. “I got bored,” she admitted. “Someone spent ten minutes explaining a tapestry to me like it might confess its sins if I stared long enough.” Her mouth curved. “It did not.”
Against his better judgment, Cullen laughed. Just a little.
“You shouldn’t be alone,” he said, automatically and then softened it. “At least not where they might notice.”
“They won’t,” Esfir replied, entirely unconcerned. She glanced around the quiet gallery, then back at him, eyes bright. “Everyone important is very busy pretending to be important.” She shifted, patting the edge of the chaise with her foot. “Sit. You look like you’ve been bracing for impact all night.”
He hesitated. Then, because he trusted her judgment more than the court’s rules, he did. Up close, he could smell the wine on her breath, faint and sweet beneath the herbs she favored. The glow of candlelight caught on her skin, softened the hard lines the world kept trying to carve into her. She tilted her head, studying him with open curiosity.
“You’re very serious tonight,” she observed.
“Someone has to be,” he replied dryly.
She laughed, quiet, unguarded and for a moment the Palace seemed very far away. “You’re doing wonderfully,” she said, reaching out just enough to brush her fingers against his sleeve, brief and innocent and devastating. “I promise.”
Cullen swallowed. “And you?”
Esfir shrugged, arms returning behind her head. “I am surviving,” she said lightly, then, after a beat, softer: “And I am very glad you found me.”
He looked at her then, not as Commander, not as courtly necessity, but as the woman sprawled on a chaise, a little tipsy, entirely herself, bored of politics and vapidness despite it all.
“Yes,” he said quietly. “So am I.”
They stayed like that for a few stolen minutes, the world held at bay, until duty inevitably came knocking again.
“Don’t disappear again but do find me if you decide it.”
She watched him, eyes bright. “Why of course, Commander.”
A cullavellan (or any Cullen/Inky pairings) that argues is so special to me, you don’t get it
It’s not a “enemies to lovers” thing, not a real one, it’s legit a “I can’t stand his ass he doesn’t know anything he’s just reciting bs cult lines and I’m supposed to go along with it” and “she doesn’t know anything, she tried to negotiate with peels for fucks sake, I cannot work with a woman that thinks she’s the knower of all”
A gentle Orlesian ballad, taught now to children as a lullaby. Most don’t know it was about real people. But the ones who served? They remember.
One was fire, cloaked in mothlight,
One was stone, still waking from the war,
she touched the dead and called them kindly,
he touched his blade and prayed for clarity.
But then she laughed,
and all his ghosts grew quiet.
And when she wept,
He built a garden out of silence.
He said, “I am a stranger to peace.”
She said, “Why don't we say hello together?”
Every soldier tells it differently...
that she kissed his scars and watched him flush under her touch,
that he learned to sleep beside her, bare of armor,
that they danced once, in the snow, alone.
but Skyhold still blooms the violets he left where her tower stood.
Not a fevered thing, not a reaching or a claiming, but a brush of breath and mouth, warm as the light slipping through the curtains. His lips ghosted hers like he was asking, not to take but to be there, and she gave in easily, as she always did with him, lips parting like a door held open to the sun.
A soft hum stirred in her chest as she tilted forward into the kiss, still fogged by sleep, limbs heavy with warmth. His hand was already on her back, drawing slow lines from the base of her spine to her shoulder, grounding her. Her body followed without thought, curling into his until her swollen belly pressed flush to his side.
Esfir kept her eyes closed, not ready to let the world in just yet. The kiss deepened, still slow, still sacred, as if every time they kissed was the first time. He pulled away just barely. She chased him for a second kiss, then a third, her fingers already climbing the planes of his chest to cup the side of his throat.
“Morning,” she whispered, voice wrecked with softness.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, but his thumb was brushing over her hip, back and forth.
“I don’t mind,” she smiled against his mouth, opened her eyes. Cullen was looking at her like she’d made the sun rise with her kiss. Like the shape of her face was a map home. He always looked at her like this now... after, beyond, past everything, as if all the ache they’d weathered had led to this room, this bed, this moment.
His curls were a mess, flattened against the pillow, and there was a line creased into his cheek from how he’d slept. She pressed a kiss to it. Their legs tangled beneath the blanket, his foot nudging against her ankle, like even in sleep he’d never stop reaching for her. Her hand drifted down, resting over the round of her belly. He followed, always touching her now, always some part of him tracing the life she carried like he still couldn’t believe it was real.
Four moons, and still, sometimes, she woke expecting the scent of ash and battlefield. Expecting the weight of armor. The echo of command. But there was no blood here. No title. No flame. Just him and her. Just the small, quiet life they’d buried themselves into, like two bodies in the dirt, sprouting new leaves.
“I dreamt of you,” he murmured, his voice like a hand sliding slow over her back. "Just you laughing in a garden.”
She smiled so softly it ached. “Maybe it was memory and not a dream.”
“Maybe,” he whispered, brushing his nose against hers.
She kissed him again. There was no urgency to it, just mouths meeting like they always had, when the world turned too loud and only his breath on hers could soften it. Her fingers traced the line of his jaw, the scar at his temple, the little notch just below his ear that he always leaned into when she touched it.
He laughed, unraveled, breathless, eyes full of love.“You always wake me like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like love,” he said, grin overcoming his gaze, and softening her more. Her chest fluttered and she didn’t answer, only kissed him again, slower this time. She tasted the edge of sleep still on his tongue, the echo of dreams she hadn’t seen but felt all the same.
Esfir shifted and pulled herself on top of him, not for anything but closeness, the press of her weight against him, the safety of his arms folding around her.
“We don’t have to leave today,” she whispered.
“We don’t.”
Esfir closed her eyes. A silence passed between them, not empty, but full of unspoken things. Of prayers, of longing, of love so heavy it could carry them across lifetimes.
She kissed him once more, softer now, lips barely brushing his. A seal, not a question. A promise.
“We’ll stay here today,” she said. “Let the world turn without us.”
“Yes,” he murmured. “Let it spin.”
She felt it in her bones, the way he looked at her, not like a woman who carried his child or shared his bed, but like something he found buried beneath the earth and now kissed as if to thank it for still blooming. The morning stretched on. Outside the window, the fields sang with birdsong and rising light, the lowing of cows, the sound of life beginning again, and inside, they kissed like they’d been dead before this and now, they were real.
“I’m sorry,” Cullen started, his grip on her legs tightening slightly. “I wish I was stronger than this.”
“Does that feel better?” Esfir asked, ignoring his self deprecation, one hand rubbing healing magic into his temple while the other traced his hair with a cooler touch.
“Yes, actually, this….” He chokes up slightly, his eyes finding her face. Esfir looked peaceful and meditative, her eyes focused on her movements. They made contact then and she smiled warmly at him, the action causing his sight to fog.
“Cullen?” She asked, concerned but continued her healing. “Are you sure this okay?”
“Yes, I—” his voiced cracked, eyes closing as a tear escaped down his face, her cooled finger catching it as it fled. “I don't know how to thank you.”
“What is that even supposed to mean?” she held his face then, her thumb continuing its healing as the rest of her fingertips cooled his heated skin. “You are me and I am you, we are one, no? If you're hurting, how could I possibly breathe normally?” Esfir placed a gentle kiss on his face before pulling away to have him look at her. “You’re not a weak man, Cullen and you're not alone anymore” She nuzzled into his face again, pressing her lips to his cheekbone. “I'm here now.”
Art by the talented @cyborrrg, thank you sososososososo much, I love your art and I love the way you draw Esfir, thank you so much again 🥺💕
