„I’m so deep in love with him. It hurts to breathe, Sammy.” Dean admits, swallowing down his fear that got stuck in his throat and shoving his denial away.
“I’m the wrong person to make this confession to, Dean.”
Sam sighs, closes his laptop and looks at his brother who is just standing there, staring into nothingness, maybe realizing that he should have made up his mind years ago when he and his love still had a chance to have a future. Perhaps not a future where they lived in a row house with a white fence around it and a small garden, but on the couch in the bunker watching old movies, standing behind the stove baking pie and share a bed – of course far away from Sam’s room.
Now there’s nothing but evil darkness, covering the blue sky at day and adding thousands of more shadows to the night. Even though Sam tries to be optimistic – they had saved the world a few times, right? They could do it again – he figures that once more their success will cost one of the members of Team Free Will his life. And this time it will be forever. There are no deals left, no worthy soul to be sold and no God willing to bring them back.
Dean sounds so broken that it almost kills the younger Winchester. But what could he say to make Dean’s realization less painful? Less true? Dean is way too late and in his mind Sam is kicking his older brother’s ass. Why wasn’t he able to come out of the closed right at the start? Hell at least after purgatory?
“Anyway you should talk to him.”
Confused, Dean stares at him. “But it’s too late. I don’t think it would be wise to talk about this now.”
“It’s never too late to try. If you want something, you gotta do something to get it.” Sam explains, slightly surprised that Dean hasn’t already interrupted him. “In our lives there will never be the right time. There will always be a war to fight or a person to save. There will always be blood and death and darkness. But that doesn’t mean that there can’t be hope and life and light as well. So what I’m saying, Dean, is that at least you gotta try if you really want him.”
“You have no idea how much I want him.”
Dean confesses and for the second time tonight, Sam is surprised. But he’s almost startled when another voice makes his presence known since he thought that their friend had planned to return to the bunker tomorrow around lunch.
But here he is, dropping is bag and staring right at Dean who looks scared and relieved at the same time.
“Sam is right. Nobody knows how much time they are allowed to spend with their beloved. So would you freak out, if I’m confessing that I’m in love with you, too?”
Cas asks cautiously and tilts his head to one side. Meanwhile Sam is holding his breath, expecting everything and nothing from his older brother.
“Shit, Sammy. Did you hear him? He wants me, too! Gotta celebrate that, right? Wait, I’m getting beer and some leftover pie.” With that, Dean walks out of the room, but not without kissing Cas right on the lips when passing him.
Repeatedly, Sam is stunned. He almost assumes that Dean is under a spell but they haven’t left the bunker for one week and therefore no witch or other being had the opportunity to curse his brother.
First of all, there’s pie left even though it’s Dean’s favorite sort? Secondly, he wants to share said pie? And at last: Dean has just showed affection in front of his brother.
“Does his reaction mean that Dean and I are now in a romantic relationship?”
And if Sam is honest, at least this question coming out of the angel’s mouth isn’t a surprise at all.
“Yes, Cas, it totally does.” Sam laughs and for a brief moment he’s sure that all three of them will make it out of this mess alive.
