Reality
Loki Laufeyson x Fem!Reader
Summary: You know Loki, your Husband, since you were kids and you both are extremely happy together. Then why do you still feel that something is wrong?
word count: 9.2 k (I'm sorry)
warnings: ANGST, Fluff, slight mentions of sex, a tiny bit of cursing, a couple of arguments between Loki and the reader and a slight mention of misogyny (not by Loki)
You were on cloud nine.
You and Loki had just got married. He was driving a brand new Hudson Hornet with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your knee, making you feel all warm inside.
God, you loved him so much.
When the car pulled up, you finally saw your new home, and it was perfect. Loki knew you wanted a big house with a big yard, so the dog and (you were still trying to convince Loki that this was a great idea) your future kids could have a place to play.
He opened the car door for you and held out his hand. You grabbed it and the second your feet hit the ground, Loki carried you bridal style, making you giggle. He used his powers to open the door and you two entered the house. He got you back on your feet, and you both started exploring your new home. The house had an open concept living room and kitchen, and the decor was cosy and luxurious at the same time. You were so happy that you jumped into your loving husband's arms and kissed him, and he immediately kissed you back.
"I love you, Y/n/n" He called you by your childhood nickname, which made you blush, and he pulled you in for another kiss just because he could. You were finally his wife, and he has never been happier.
***
Frigga was teaching Loki magic in the study hall. The young Asgardian prince always had a spectacular gift for magic, and he was also very intelligent. Loki was decent at fighting but not as good as the heir to the throne, Thor. His older brother was extremely powerful, but he lacked Loki's brilliant mind or even any interest in the Asgardian arts of magic. Everyone saw Thor as the future king of Asgard and the Nine Realms, a born fighter and 'The Golden Child', as Loki liked to call him. Loki was just the weird, introverted prince that a lot of people liked to pretend didn't exist.
Loki and his mother heard a knock on the door and Frigga answered with a simple 'Come in' and you appeared.
You were wearing a simple pink dress with purple accents, and your hair was tied up in a typical Asgardian-style braid.
Your mother, Halldis, was Frigga's best friend. Halldis and her husband were given the title of Lady and Lord of the royal court when Frigga became queen. They've lived in the palace ever since Lady Halldis got pregnant with you.
"Hello, sweetie. How may I help you?" the queen asked gently.
You gave her a sweet smile.
"Hi, Aunt Frigga. Thor and I were playing in the royal garden, and we wanted to know when Loki was going to finish his classes so he could play with us."
Loki immediately frowned.
He would rather die than admit it, but he always thought you were beautiful and sweet and Loki would love to be friends with you, especially when you always seemed so excited about interacting with him.
But you liked Thor better; just like everyone else. You were just feeling sorry for him, that's all. You probably didn't even like him. Nobody liked him, why would you? "I don't want to play your pathetic childish games, Y/N. Go away!" he exclaimed.
Loki saw your smile quickly turns into an expression of hurt and your eyes glistened with tears, even though you refused to let them fall.
The dark-haired prince had a bit of a mess of memories from then on. He could never be sure if you actually looked down at your feet while whispering something about how sorry you were for upsetting him or whether or not Frigga had given him a long speech about how extremely rude his behaviour was and that he was grounded for the next 20 years. The one thing he was sure would haunt him forever was that you, a sunshine in person, were crying at that very moment because of him.
***
"Do we really need to do this, darling?" Loki whimpered as you applied lipstick to your lips.
You chuckled as you looked in the mirror to see the reflection of your husband who was with a grumpy face.
"Yes, my love, we do. Wanda and Vision are lovely people and they invited us to dinner tonight, so we will." You answered.
"But I hate people. Except you, everyone else just... piss me off and bores the hell out of me."
You rolled your eyes and stood up, walking towards the man and stopping in front of him to tie his tie.
"Stop being so dramatic, Lo. We're going to have fun, I promise. But if you feel uncomfortable, just 'If'," You gave him a death stare. "We will come back home right away, okay?" He nodded, and you got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
***
Loki knocked on the door and instead of being greeted by Wanda or Vision, you were both greeted by Agnes.
"Oh! Y/N, Loki! You both are right on time! Come in, come in!"
The two of you exchanged confused glances before you simply walked into the house, following the raven-haired woman and Loki, in turn, followed you like a lost puppy.
Apparently, today Vision's boss - and Loki's too - and his wife came to visit your friend and her husband. You were about to comment to Loki that you two had better go home when Agnes discreetly commented (So Mr and Mrs Heart would not notice anything wrong) that Wanda needed as much help as possible in the kitchen. Loki cursed under his breath but you chose to ignore him and followed Agnes into the kitchen.
Upon entering the kitchen, Wanda immediately tried to conceal the floating plates and bowls while you and Agnes politely pretended to didn't see anything. "Oh, Y/N! I'm so glad you came!" The redhead exclaimed, pulling you into a tight hug. She pulled away from you to look in your eyes and explain her situation. "I completely forgot about dinner with the Heart's today. Please help me; I have absolutely nothing prepared!"
Meanwhile, Loki was sitting next to Vision and facing Mrs Heart. He didn't like his boss very much (Loki complained about Mister Heart every Wednesday night to you while you two did skincare together and he painted your toenails) But even though he didn't like the man, he was still his boss; and people were very easy to fall for Loki Laufeyson's charm and smooth talk. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it to get people in his good graces. He was irresistible. That's how he won you over.
Well… At least that was the story he tells you.
***
"LOKI!"
The young prince was at Bifrost hall belonged to Heimdall, planning a massacre of the Midgardian city that Thor was sheltering in when he heard your voice calling his name, more furious than he had ever seen in his life.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!?! Thor was banished from Asgard and you should be doing your best to help him and bring him back, but no! You're planning a coup d'état and I don't doubt that you're trying to kill my best friend!" you both were face to face now. Your breath was heavy and hot on his face. Even in low heels, you were still way shorter than him. Loki's hands were clasped behind his back, his posture was straight, oozing confidence and superiority, and his facial expression was neutral. It was his way of disguising how much his heart was racing and how much his mind was screaming at him to just close the distance between the two of you. He wanted nothing more than to taste you on his tong-.
"I know you've never seen me this way, Loki, but I consider you my friend. You may never have confided in me, but I know you feel left out by Thor and I know you wanted to be king and I'm genuinely sorry, okay? You never deserved to be second. You're worth so much and I'm sorry you were never recognized as you deserve. Please, Loki. Thor has his flaws, but he loves you and he doesn't deserve it. Please--"
Before you could continue speaking, Loki subtly nodded and Heimdall sighed in frustration before drawing his sword to open the Bifrost Bridge and send you to join Thor in Midgard. Loki only had a few milliseconds to stare at the panic in your eyes as you realized what he was doing before you disappeared right before his eyes.
It was better this way, he tried to convince himself. You preferred Thor; you have always preferred. It was only right that you should be sent to be with him. Not to mention he didn't deserve all that empty flattery from you. You just wanted to save Thor and you were using your smooth talk to try to convince him to help his brother. But he couldn't deny that, deep down, he fervently wanted your words to be true.
***
Dinner went well. It had its unforeseen, but nothing too extreme. At some point, you felt your head spinning and you could have sworn that, suddenly, dinner had turned into a bizarre déjà vu, but your husband just kissed your knuckles and said you were just tired when you told him about it as you lay in your shared bed. He kissed you good night and you rested your head on his chest, quickly falling asleep.
***
You woke up with the feeling of several kisses being deposited on your neck. It tickled and you started to laugh. Your laugh was contagious and before you knew it, Loki was laughing with you. When you both calmed down, he buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.
"Good morning, my queen." Your husband murmured against your skin. Your hands began to caress his scalp and he sighed contentedly.
"You remember today is the talent show, right?" You asked.
"Of course, I remember, sweetheart. Would you like to practice one last time so you feel more confident?" Loki wasn't happy about participating in the show at all, but he knew it was pointless to argue with you. Not to mention that he knew it was important to you and that you always get upset when he refused to do something with you or when he did things grudgingly. He needed to be the best husband in the world for you.
"I don't think it will be necessary. We're doing this for charity and fun. We don't have to be the bests." You explained to him.
Normally, Loki was extremely competitive. However, he didn't even want to go to that show in the first place. If you were happy, so was he.
You both got out of bed. He always insisted on getting up after you and not in a thousand years would you have guessed he did that just so he could admire your ass. After putting a robe over your nightgown, you went downstairs to prepare breakfast.
Loki hated cooking. But even so, he always insisted on helping you in the kitchen. He always says that just because you are a housewife, it doesn't mean he didn't need to help you. You melt every time he says it because he always means every single word. You had so many neighbours who were mothers and housewives who spent the whole day doing their best for their family without any help and didn't receive a single affection or gratitude from their husbands who spent the whole day 'Working too hard' as if those women's work meant less. You loved to take care of your home, but you still loved it when your husband insisted on doing all the dishes because "Your cooking was great, my queen. It's the least I can do" or when he made the bed, set the table and did the laundry without you asking. Every time you thanked him, he would tell you to stop being ridiculous, as he was doing the bare minimum as a husband. You really couldn't have wished for a better partner.
Loki always said you made the best pancakes in the world. You thought they were good, but not the best in the world. You were grateful anyway.
"Darling, it's already 10:00 am! I need to go to the planning committee and you need to attend the neighbourhood watch meeting" You said after checking the time on the kitchen clock.
You didn't let Loki join you in the shower (which he thought was absurd) and within 15 minutes you were both ready. He kissed you on the forehead and you both went your separate ways.
Wanda and Agnes arrived a few seconds before you. Wanda hugged you and Agnes followed suit. You didn't really know how to feel about the brunette woman, but if your friend liked her, Agnes was probably an amazing person. Deep down.
Dottie was every bit as perfectionist and arrogant as Agnes had described, but there wasn't much you could do about it. You were sitting between Wanda and Agnes, so you can hear the conversation between Wanda and a girl named Geraldine. She seemed to be very kind, and it's always nice to make new friends, right?
"Hi! Sorry to interrupt you, but my name is Y/N, Wanda's friend. Nice to meet you!" You said, extending your hand friendly for her to shake.
Apparently, Geraldine hadn't noticed you before, because as soon as she did, she looked like she'd seen a ghost. Her jaw dropped and she was frozen for a few seconds before she pulled herself together and answered you.
"H-hi! I'm Geraldine. N-nice to meet you!" She finally shook your hand after getting completely lost in her own words.
You couldn't follow anything else for the rest of the meeting. Maybe you made a bad impression on Geraldine and you couldn't understand why, but you decided to put that aside. Not everyone was required to like you and there was nothing wrong with that.
***
The meeting had already started 20 minutes before Vision showed up. Loki rolled his eyes. The two of them interact frequently because their wives are friends and Loki had no problem with their friendship, but Loki was as new in town as Vision and yet Vision always seemed so… out of place. It was always obvious that he was desperately trying to fit in while anyone would swear Loki has lived in Westview all his life, so much so that he was a member and Vision was unaware that it was a members-only meeting.
To be fair, Vision wouldn't have been interested in being a member if he knew that the "Meetings" were a great front for a kind of men's club where everyone had finger foods and "talked about" the most talked about topics in town concerning the lives of others. Gossip, basically. But people said that "Gentlemen don't gossip". Midgardians were very strange.
Loki had to restrain himself from laughing as he watched Vision's dilemma over eating the food offered to him. Nobody in that town had noticed that Vision was a robot, but who was Loki to judge? It's not like he and his wife don't have their own secrets buried in their backyards.
There was nothing Loki could do to stop Vision from chewing the gum Herb had offered him, even though he knew the chance of something bad happening was extremely high. Everything related to Wanda Maximoff was chaotic.
He was obviously right.
The gum got stuck between Vision's inner gears and now he looked as drunk as a skunk. Fortunately, no one but Loki seemed to notice Vision's sudden strange behaviour. Loki looked at that ugly Strucker watch (which he only wore because it was a gift from you) and realized he was late for the damn talent show. He let the group of men know about the show and they all left the library. When there were exactly three blocks left for the place of the show, Loki realized that Vision wasn't walking with them, but the Asgardian kept walking, after all, that wasn't his problem.
***
Vision was acting very strangely (Correction: More than usual). In several moments he almost revealed who he and his wife really were, but Wanda managed to be creative enough to convince everyone that all the wonders of the show were just cheap tricks (And she still managed to amuse the audience and got a standing ovation). As soon as they finished their presentation, it was your turn to perform alongside Loki.
It's not that you sang badly, but Loki had a beautiful voice that he always refused to show the world. After spending three weeks begging him to sing, he eventually relented.
Geraldine positioned the two of you on the stage (She still wasn't looking you in the eye) and you sat down at the piano to play the song while Loki sang. Loki's only condition for singing in front of all of Westview was that he would be the one choosing the song. To your relief, he chose L-O-V-E, one of your favourite songs. Everyone was shocked when they realized that Loki Laufeyson was going to sing. Little did they know that unfortunately for Loki, he would hang the stars in the sky if you asked him to. You smiled encouragingly at him before starting to play on the piano that Wanda had discreetly created because she had destroyed the original. As you'd expect, everyone was enthralled by Loki's voice and you both got a standing ovation. You jumped into Loki's arms and hugged him. He returned the hug immediately, not caring about who was watching.
***
''I'm so proud of you, Lo! you were fantastic up there on stage! – You said excitedly. Loki kissed your temple and dragged you to sit on his lap on the couch.
''You were amazing too, my queen. But I still can't believe I submitted to that.''
You rolled your eyes before leaning in to kiss him, but he stopped you.
''Y/n/n, wait. Are you…feeling it too?'' He asked, frowning slightly.
It was only then that you noticed a delicious tingle that spread over every inch of your skin, tickling. You then took to noticing your living room, your clothes, and your husband. Everything was… taking on colour.
That was undoubtedly one of the most wonderful moments of your life. Seeing something you were so familiar with turn into something so beautiful and surreal was just magical. Your husband got even more handsome (Something you didn't even know was possible) and his beautiful eyes, which you now knew were green, were looking at you as if you were the most perfect thing to ever walk the planet earth. You could already feel your cheeks starting to heat up when suddenly you felt… A kick?
Loki was still holding you, so he felt it too. You both glanced at your belly at the same time only to realize that you now had a baby bump.
You were pregnant.
*** Those damned Chitauris spread out like worms through a Midgardian city that you would have found divine in other circumstances. After stabbing three Chitauris at once with your sword, you watched Loki get blown up by one of Agent Barton's arrows with a satisfied smile. He landed on the roof of Stark Tower and you and Agent Romanoff made your ways to the roof intending to get to the God of Mischief, but the Hulk attacked him before either of you had the chance. The scene of that huge green creature slamming Loki to the ground several times as if he weighed nothing would forever be one of your favourite moments.
Dr. Selvig was still dazed on the ground beside the portal. He explained that Loki's sceptre would be able to close the portal and he and Agent Romanoff agreed that it would be best if you held it since you were an Asgardian. You were almost able to close the portal using the golden sceptre when Stark's voice protested through the listening devices, stating that it was necessary to get rid of one more bomb. To your horror, he entered the portal passage with the large explosive object.
You didn't know Tony Stark very well, but you knew he was a well-meaning and intelligent man, and you felt saddened by his death, even though you knew that thanks to his sacrifice the Chitauris were dead. Rogers asked you to close the portal. You hesitated for a second, but Agent Romanoff put her hand on your shoulder and gave you a tiny smile in an attempt to comfort you. From what you observed in the redheaded woman, she was very closed off and very focused and rational, so seeing her trying to make things easier and more comfortable for you meant a lot. You closed your eyes to gain courage and the portal was finally closed. By some miracle, a huge red and gold armour appeared falling from the skies and you felt strangely glad that a man you barely knew was okay.
Later that day, the other Avengers said goodbye to you and Thor, who needed to get Loki and the Tesseract back to Asgard. And at the same time that you missed home, you had a bad feeling that very soon everything you knew and loved would undergo drastic changes. Despite all the nightmares Loki caused and the optimism of all Midgardians that everything would be alright now, you couldn't silence the little voice in your head that warned you that this was just the beginning of something much worse to come.
***
Loki was dead.
Again.
For real this time.
In his first supposed death, you weren't there in his ''Final Moments'' and you were still blinded by rage because of his betrayal, but now that he had sacrificed himself to save Thor and you were beside him while Loki was dying, you could feel your heart (which was already broken by the tragic death of the woman you saw as a second mother) shattering into a million pieces. You'd been stabbed before and you were sure the blade piercing your skin had hurt less than watching your childhood friend take his final breath.
When you were sure that you had already reached the apex of pain, Thor Odinson, the great God of thunder, heir to Asgard and the nine Realms threw his arms around your waist, buried his face in the crook of your neck and cried like a little kid. You would have given up anything to take away all the sadness and pain that big man who was actually a cinnamon roll was feeling. Your best friend had lost his brother and you would have gladly switched places with Loki if that made Thor happy.
But the only thing you could do at the moment was hug him tight and pray that his blond hair would dry your own tears of pain.
***
Doctor Nielson said you and the baby were healthy.
Of course, that information wasn't enough and the poor middle-aged man was bombarded with dozens of questions from your husband who was more overprotective than ever now that you were carrying his child.
You and Loki had already decorated the baby's room, and right now Loki was reading the third parenting book of the month. Wanda had told you that Vision was acting the same way and that they were even exchanging and indicating parenting books to each other.
Being pregnant at the same time as your best friend is just magical.
You were about to go shower when Loki came running up to you with his phone in his hand and a face that was full of animation. You've never grabbed a phone so fast in your life and a few seconds later, you're sure you'd be bouncing if you didn't have such a heavy baby inside you.
Wanda had twins. Billy and Tommy.
Loki took the two of you to Wanda's house and the first thing he saw was your friends looking exhausted because the twins wouldn't stop crying. They thanked both you and Loki immensely for your help (Loki was slightly compelled to do this, but the important thing is that he helped).
A few hours later, Agnes knocked on the door and the four of you started chatting. When the five of you went to check on the twins, they had aged a good five years, but you chose not to question it.
The next day, your water broke.
After that, it all became a blur. You had opted for hospital delivery, so he quickly grabbed the maternity bag and put you both in the car. The nurses were extremely kind and careful with you, and even though Loki called Wanda and Vision as soon as you two arrived at the hospital, your baby was already in your arms before their arrival.
It was a girl.
She was the most beautiful little thing you'd ever seen. Her little face was puffy and red, she was screaming and crying like crazy and she was so tiny, but you already loved her more than anything in this world.
When you looked at your husband, he was completely transfixed looking at your daughter. You'd seen him give that look of pure adoration just for you, but now he looked at that little pink package like all of a sudden the world made sense because she was in it.
Loki was too scared to hold her because he was afraid of letting the baby girl fall, but you helped him and he immediately started to cry.
He sat next to you on the mattress and kissed your temple tenderly before finally looking into your eyes with so much emotion that you felt dizzy.
"I love you so much, Y/n Laufeyson. Every day I think about how you are the strongest, most wonderful woman I've ever met and I will never be able to express how grateful I am to be with you and... Now you've given me my little girl and I've never thought it was possible that my love for you could triple.'' He kissed you passionately before looking down at his daughter.
''Welcome to the world, my Astrid.''
*** ''So what you're saying is that my brother and Wanda Maximoff are in a world where Vision and Y/n are alive?'' Thor questioned Darcy.
The two hadn't spoken for a long time and technically he shouldn't be in a confidential area where SWORD was working, but the scientist thought Thor deserved to know what was happening.
''Jimmy described it as 'A sitcom starring two Avengers.' But apparently, Loki and Y/n are supporting characters. Not only that, apparently all the other 'Characters' are real people who seem to be under some mind control to act as if the fact that Vision and Y/n being alive and living married lives in the suburbs is something perfectly normal.'' Thor didn't have the heart to say it put loud, but he was sure that Loki was definitely not under any mind control. Thor wasn't blind, he knew his brother was in love with Y/n since they were kids and he knew Loki was suffering a lot from her death, but he would never expect anything like... this.
''As Wanda seems to be the 'Protagonist', we're trying to contact her to understand what's going on, but she hasn't responded to the radio, Agent Franklin has disappeared and our drone has been turned into a toy helicopter. They even censored the broadcast! It's like whoever is controlling this will do anything to keep these people captive.''
Thor had seen young Wanda's powers in action and he knew she was very powerful. He also knew grief all too well. By then he has already greeted it like an old friend, so he knew what the pain of losing someone you loved could do to a person's mind. He was sure that those responsible for this mess and Westview's captivity were Wanda or his brother, maybe it was even both. But he knew that neither Wanda nor Loki wanted to be 'saved'.
***
Thor knew you were strong and powerful. You were an Avenger and a member of the Asgard army who had saved Thor's ass many times before and he knew you were an amazing team on the battlefield. Unfortunately, before he was a warrior, he was your childhood best friend, who always took advantage of the fact that you don't have siblings to claim the big brother role. He said it was a family matter, but you know he was just scared because Hela had destroyed the Mjölnir and since he didn't know how powerful she was, he sent you to help Heimdall protect the people of Asgard to make sure you wouldn't get hurt. Thor said that he and Loki (yes, the bastard was alive) would take care of Hela. You had your doubts.
You and Heimdall were taking care of everything well. You two had already annihilated several of Hela's 'Soldiers' and were now protecting the Asgardians in a secret fortress hidden in the forest. You were helping an elderly lady relax when Heimdall made everyone's blood (including yours) run cold.
"She's here.''
Quickly you and the guardian worked hard to get the people of Asgard to evacuate through the back of the fortress towards Bifrost. You were almost there when you came across Hela's huge beast. Immediately, everyone retreated, but on the other side of the bridge was an enemy army. Even with a giant spaceship providing cover when shooting the beast, you, Heimdall and other Asgardians were forced to fight back. Suddenly, something fell out of the ship and… Wait a minute, was that Bruce Banner?!?! Someone tugged at your shirt sleeve. You looked down only to find a toddler pointing at something that, despite being partially covered in fog, was definitely huge.
"Your saviour is here!''
You have never been so happy to see that stupid man in your entire life.
***
When the three of you got back home, you begged Loki to let you buy a puppy. It would be great for Astrid's development, you argued, of course, Loki was reluctant because he knew about your own selfish motives, although you were right about dogs having a positive impact on babies' lives, so a few days later he showed up at the house with the cutest Corgi puppy you've ever seen. You two named him Argos and he and Astrid immediately fell in love with each other.
It didn't take long for Astrid to grow up. She was a very sweet little girl who looked exactly like you. The only thing she had inherited from her father was his mesmerizing green eyes. She was also best friends with Billy and Tommy, the three children spent hours just playing in the backyard with Argos every day.
Today, when Astrid went to play at the boys' house, they had adopted a puppy named Sparky. Loki had preferred to stay at home to build a playground for Astrid, and the kids were already making thousands of plans to play in the backyard of your house with Argos and Sparky who would definitely be friends. When you asked Wanda where Vision was, she said he was at work. Today was Saturday, but you preferred not to say anything.
The twins freaked out, and Wanda had to explain how couples sometimes fall out before her kids thought Vision was tired of them.
You didn't know that Wanda and Vision were fighting, but you chose not to get involved. Instead, you asked Wanda if she'd like you to take the kids to the community pool. She quickly accepted and ten minutes later you and the kids were leaving Wanda home alone so she could get her head straight. That was all the help you could offer her for now.
***
It was Halloween. Astrid wanted to dress up as Wednesday Addams, which you thought was weird, as the two of them couldn't have more opposite personalities, but you agreed. To match, you made Loki dress up as Gomez and you dressed up as Morticia. Your husband pretended he thought you all looked ridiculous, but you knew he loved it. Loki didn't want to go on patrol today, he preferred to 'Spend quality time with his girls'. All you could do is roll your eyes, leave more kibble in the pot for Argos, and take your little family to meet Wanda and the twins.
When you finally found them, you were introduced to Pietro, Wanda's brother. He tried to flirt with you, but a single deadly stare from Loki directed at him made the silver-haired man immediately shut up.
Billy, Tommy, Astrid and Pietro were causing real chaos around the neighbourhood, which drove you and Wanda crazy, but Loki said that mischief was always welcome on Halloween and had no problem letting his daughter terrorize the neighbourhood with her friends.
You and Wanda forced the children (Pietro included) to return all the stolen sweets. That took a few hours, but once they were done, Tommy used his super speed to take Astrid and Billy to get more candy (The right way this time), leaving You, Loki, Wanda and Pietro alone.
The four of you ate and talked as you made your way to the area where a Halloween pumpkin display was being held. Everything was going well until Pietro started commenting about how 'Thanks to Wanda' people were happier and that despite everything, they were having a good and peaceful life. You didn't notice when Loki and Wanda exchanged side-eye glances for a full three milliseconds before Loki got up so fast you were sure he got dizzy and dragged you away from the Maximoff twins claiming he wanted to buy toffee apples for you both.
You were so confused by his (and Pietro's) sudden bizarre behaviour that it took you approximately 30 seconds to react. When you finally snapped out of your befuddled state, you dug your feet into the ground and faced your husband.
"Loki, what the hell was that? What do you mean by buying toffee apples? You hate toffee apples. And I know Pietro is kind of weird but he seemed very sane at the tim-" You were interrupted.
"That was nothing, Y/n, you're imagining things. Pietro Maximoff is a lunatic, we both know that.
"Something tells me you don't believe a single word you're saying. I don't know what he means but I feel like you do." You confronted him.
Honestly, you never noticed anything strange around you. Your life and that of your neighbours appeared to be completely normal., but Pietro said something that bothered you. Of course, you had problems, but they were all... Simple. Just minor inconveniences that more seemed to be happening to give some sense of normalcy. People always said that some things were too good to be true.
Maybe Pietro wasn't a lunatic after all.
But you knew Loki long enough to know you weren't going to win that argument. So you let him lead you by the hand to the toffee apples stand and pretended not to notice how hard he was trying to look like he was genuinely enjoying the candy and that he was not wanting to throw up.
***
How?
You had been decorated as the best warrior in Asgard countless times. You had protected Gods. You were a hero adored by billions of people and had already survived so many adventures that you could have easily written a bestselling book about yourself (That's what the most epic books of all time were called according to Stark). And yet, how could you be so… useless?
You had lost your beloved home and on the same day you had to watch the brutal extermination of almost half of your people and you could barely defend them. You barely made it out alive, for Odin's sake!
All Thanos' fault. That titan son of a bitch you would have sold your soul just for the chance to execute and watch his scaphism. You knew he had an army of titans. You knew all the stories about how Thanos was considered practically invincible. But even so, you couldn't help hating yourself for not being enough and for letting your people down.
But by the time Thanos demanded Loki hand over the Tesseract or he'd kill Thor, you knew Loki well enough to know he'd try one last thing. But you no longer thought your life was worth much. All your instinct for self-preservation has long since disappeared.
If you had to die to protect the princes of your kingdom, that's exactly what you would do.
When the Titan pinned Thor down and killed Heimdall right after defeating the Hulk, you did the first thing that popped into your head. You snatched the hypercube from Loki's hand at lightning speed and ran towards Thanos
''Here. Take the Tesseract and do whatever you want with it, just go away and leave us alone. I beg you.'' You looked pathetic like that. One of the most powerful elements in the galaxy was in your hands, and yet you were on your knees, weeping and begging for a monster to spare the rest of your people. Thanos looked at you like for a few seconds before taking the Tesseract.
''I have heard much about you, daughter of Halldis. You are known as a hero. You were wise to accept the fate of this galaxy and collaborate with the greater good.'' He said before taking his army with him and leaving you surrounded by corpses and wounded people. Thor and Loki were alive. You were useful for something.
But why did you feel so… selfish? Of course, you weren't a sociopath, but still, for a few seconds, Thanos saw you as an equal. Hero, they called you.
But at that moment you knew you were a fraud. You felt a genuine disgust with yourself and stopped believing in the mercy of the gods. If they really were merciful, they would have let you die in that carnage.
The life of any Asgardian seemed worth a thousand times more than yours. You didn't deserve to have survived.
***
Loki had left Astrid at Wanda's house to play with the twins. Astrid was always playing with the twins, so you didn't suspect a thing. Of course, it wasn't morally right of Loki to dilute sleeping pills in the milk on the cereal he gave you this morning. But in his defence, he was going through something he never thought he would.
He was freaking out.
Loki Laufeyson had never felt that in all his thousands of years of living.
He always had things planned out and always made sure everything went exactly as he had so meticulously envisioned. Of course, not even the most detailed man in the world could control every situation every time, but even when things didn't go as Loki had planned, he always managed to stay calm and always easily got a plan b. When he didn't have a plan b, he quickly found a way to save his ass. Cunning as a fox, you once remarked.
The problem is that Loki was always a completely rational person who never got into a situation without weighing all the pros and cons before giving a second thought to make sure it was worth it.
You were the first impulsive decision he had ever made. He was crying hysterically as he felt his heart being torn apart and the next minute he was driving in a car with you holding his hand. He didn't think about what could go wrong, he was so distracted in his bubble of happiness with you that he completely forgot that something could go off the rails at any second.
And that's exactly what happened.
All the decorations in the house were changing every five seconds. Loki's magic and yours were out of control and the Asgardian God was beginning to sense that everything was about to fall apart. But he couldn't bear it, he just couldn't.
Not again.
So he had to do something that he always tried to avoid as much as possible, but unfortunately, it was his only alternative. He needed to talk to Wanda.
*** How the hell did he end up here?
He was at Wanda's house when one of those nosy agents Wanda had kicked out showed up. Wanda was starting to lose control, so Agnes took the redhead to her house. Loki still needed to speak with Wanda, so he followed the two women. The hostess made him and Wanda sit down on the sofa and then Loki slowly came to his senses. Why the hell did Agnes have so many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in her living room while a children's cartoon was playing on TV?
Now that Loki had stopped to notice things, he really felt something was missing when he walked into Wanda's house...
"Maximoff, where is my daughter?" he asked, staring at the woman with daggers in his eyes.
She was still a little flustered, so it took her a few seconds before she processed his words and shook her head.
''Oh… I-I…''
Loki immediately made a dagger materialize in his hand and placed the blade against Wanda's throat.
''I'll just repeat it one more time, Maximoff. Where--" He didn't have time to finish his threat because Agnes came back into the room.
''Mr. Laufeyson, there's no need for violence, for God's sake! Astrid and the boys are probably just playing in the basement.'' Agnes butted in before Loki committed murder. The man immediately grabbed Wanda by the collar (he wouldn't let her go until he was sure his little girl was safe) and dragged her down the basement stairs in search of the children.
Loki didn't know what he expected to find in that basement; but finding multiple vine-covered columns, elaborately macabre-looking stained-glass windows, and dozens of dark magic elements were definitely not on his list.
And then suddenly, the brunette woman Loki had never liked locks the door with her… Magic.
''The name is Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you.''
Shit.
***
''I still can't believe you of all people learned how to cook.'' A voice behind you said.
You rolled your eyes but couldn't help but smile.
As ironic as it seems, Loki was the one who helped you out of your self-hatred state after Thanos' victory and since then the two of you had put your differences aside and decided to try to help what's left of the world as much as possible. Thor named Valkyrie king of new Asgard and you became the Goddess of Fidelity.
You never felt you deserved the title.
Loki was the royal advisor and he was doing an excellent job restoring Asgard alongside the new king. You and he spent all the Sundays with Thor to cheer him up and take care of his mental health. You helped Steve through every therapy session because you knew how difficult it was for him to try to maintain Sam's legacy like that. You and Loki even babysat Morgan one night a month so Pepper and Tony could go on dates, and even though he pretended to hate babysitting, you knew Loki was crazy about the little girl. You two lived in the Avengers tower with Natasha to monitor the state of the galaxy in monthly meetings with Denvers, the raccoon, Rhodes and Okoye. Since the three of you lived alone and the last time Nat or Loki entered a kitchen they set the place on fire while trying to cook an egg, you were practically forced to learn how to cook. After five years of practice, you've become quite the cook.
At the moment you were making lasagna because Nat had been tired lately and that was her favourite dish.
''If I hadn't learned, the three of us would have starved to death years ago.'' You said half-joking.
''Despite all the difficulties living in this nightmare causes, I feel strangely happy,'' Loki commented.
You both knew it was wrong. Billions of people had lost their families and friends, including you and Loki. But the two of you couldn't help but enjoy the chaotic routine you had built up together. He was far better company than you could ever dream of.
''After you're done with dinner, we could binge-watch Modern Family,'' he suggested.
''Loki we binge-watched Modern Family six times!'' You complained.
After putting the lasagna in the oven, you turned to face your friend, only to realize he was closer than you thought.
In the last few years that he has been by your side, you could get to know the real Loki. Not the cruel cunning man he played himself out to be. Loki had changed a lot after the Snap, and you finally got to see what a caring, smart, funny, attentive and occasionally kind man he was. And well, up close, you couldn't deny how handsome he was. His eyes looked at you adoringly and suddenly the air was very hot and the atmosphere had changed. He lowered his eyes to your lips and…
God, he was going to kiss you.
The man who had spent his entire life avoiding and infuriating you was going to kiss you and your stomach couldn't be more full of butterflies. Your heart was beating wildly in anticipation and you'd never wanted anything as badly as you wanted to feel his lips against yours.
But just as he was about to finally close the tortuous distance between you both, Natasha called you into her office to show you something urgently. You and Loki reluctantly obeyed the redhead only to find her and Steve looking at the security camera footage. The shock was written on both of their faces and as you and Loki looked at the footage, you too were shocked as well.
Scott Lang was alive?!?!
***
Apparently, Wanda was wrong about the state of Westview's population. They were definitely not doing well in her suburban life designed to be perfect. He hated to admit it, but Wanda needed to set them free, there was nothing Loki could do.
You wouldn't want any of this if you were alive.
He was also right about everything ending in chaos. You woke up and went to the square to look for him and despite desperately wanting to take you in his arms and assure you that everything was going to be okay, he was tired of lying to you. Agatha Harkness fought against the Scarlet Witch (Apparently the legend was very real and he felt stupid for not realizing the truth about Wanda Maximoff before) and Agatha was defeated.
Wanda took Loki's hand and pulled him away from his and Wanda's family so they could have some privacy.
''I-I'm sorry.'' The most powerful woman in the universe looked so small and vulnerable in front of him. Loki would never know what came over him, but he let her cry into his chest as he stroked her back.
''I'm also... sorry, Maximoff.''
Wanda and Loki weren't friends and probably never would be, but they carried the pain of a difficult past and having lost their lovers and with it their prospects for happiness in the future. He hated to admit it, but he would always feel a deep connection with Wanda and he knew she felt the same.
Wanda went to her house to enjoy her last moments with her family and Loki did the same. Astrid was sitting on his shoulders and you were holding his hand the whole way home. When he looked at you, you gave him a sad but reassuring smile and he could feel his eyes burning, his body desperate to curl up in the fetal position and cry.
You arrived home and while you sang an Asgardian lullaby to Astrid, who was hugging Argos, the little girl was falling asleep with her face buried in her father's chest. She might be young, but she could feel that this would be the end, but she needed to enjoy the last moments with her family the same way every other moment was spent: With a smile on her face.
You four deserved this.
When she and Argos were finally asleep, Loki settled her on the bed and kissed her on the cheek. He pretended not to notice the tear left on his daughter's face right after you kissed her.
You two went to your room and lay down on the bed so you could cuddle and simply feel the warmth of each other's bodies. So that the hearts of two lovers would beat in the same rhythm. You stayed that way for three minutes, three hours or three years; Loki could never tell. But then you cupped his face and kissed him. You kissed him with all the pure love you felt for him. It was a kiss so painfully sweet he wanted to cry for the twentieth time that day. You rested your head on his chest so his heartbeat lulled you to sleep. When Loki realized you were unconscious, he wanted to sleep too. All he wanted was to spend the rest of his life in your arms, in that bed. But he did not allow himself to fall asleep.
Loki knew you wouldn't be there when he woke up.
***
You thought you were used to the pain of losing people you loved. That your heart was already so broken that if someone else important to you died, it wouldn't hurt so much anymore.
When Barton came back alone and with that look in his eyes like he'd just seen his whole world being destroyed, you knew Natasha was gone.
You cried for hours, shedding so many tears you could almost feel your body drying out. Natasha had suffered so much in her life and yet she knew how to be kind and give her all to help others. She always supported you and managed to comfort you when no one noticed you were not okay in the first place. One of the strongest and most wonderful women in the world had died as she had lived: Doing the impossible and beyond to save people.
And that's why all of you were here, on the battlefield in the most epic fight you've ever been on a mission to destroy Thanos and his army. Natasha had sacrificed her life so that you all could save the world and none of you could let her die in vain.
That's how you ended up the same way you did five years ago: Kneeling at Thanos' feet as he wins, as it was always meant to be. ''I am Inevitable'' He smiled sickly, feeling the pleasure his victory brought him as he snapped his fingers to finally get rid of humanity forever. Some things were just… Meant to be. Like Thanos' success in his mission. The universe was always in his favour for him to be succeeded.
But not today.
Excruciating physical pain shot through your body as you felt your right arm burn from the overwhelming amount of power coursing through your veins from the stones on your fingers. You definitely wouldn't survive this.
But you had decided a long time ago that you didn't deserve to survive.
''And I… Am…,'' You were making a superhuman effort to speak, but you ignored the pain and finished uttering your last words. It was time to finally find your way to Valhalla and find your parents. Aunt Frigga. Heimdall. Your Asgardian people.
Nat.
''... The Goddess of Fidelity''. You snapped your fingers and then everything went dark.
*** Thor knew he had no right to interfere, but he couldn't help but rage as he saw the looks of scorn and disgust directed at his brother and Wanda Maximoff that the residents of Westview and the S.W.O.R.D agents were sending their way. Of course, the two of them were wrong to enslave an entire city, but they had just lost everything. Why couldn't people understand that by willingly destroying the barrier, Loki and Wanda had given up their last chance to be happy? Why couldn't they stop feeling sorry for themselves for a second to try and reflect that those two were grieving and desperately trying to deal with this horrible feeling that no one deserved to go through?
They were all so arrogant. As if they wouldn't use Wanda's powers to bring loved ones back if they had the opportunity.
But the God of Thunder swallowed his anger and went after Loki.
He was so busy with his own grief over losing his dearest friend that he completely forgot that he wasn't the only one grieving. Now Loki was even more broken than before and there was nothing Thor could do but try to comfort him.
While you were alive, you fought tirelessly for him and Loki to have a true brotherly relationship and he would be damned if he let anything you've fought for in your life be in vain.
Thor found Loki sitting on a bench underneath a tree near Westview. He was admiring the setting sun with an unreadable expression on his face.
''There's nothing I can do, brother. Nothing in this world can bring her back. I… I just want you to know that I understand your pain and that I will be here with you for as long as it takes if it helps you feel better.'' Thor finally spoke after sitting down beside his brother and staying in silence for several minutes. He never needed to comfort people who were grieving before. Despite knowing it wasn't enough, the blond God was trying his best.
And Loki knew it.
He knew that Thor meant every word and that he would indeed be sitting beside him in silence, watching the sunset for the rest of eternity if that would make Loki feel any better. When he looked away from the west into Thor's baby blue eyes, Loki began to cry.
The Loki of a few decades ago would rather die than allow himself to be in such a vulnerable position in front of Thor, but this Loki could only feel gratitude for having a brother who loved him till the moon and back and would help him deal with his pain and his hysterical crying without the slightest bit of judgment. That he would let Loki stay in his embrace forever while trying to ease his pain, even if Thor himself was miserable.
He still hadn't made up his mind if he regretted going after Wanda the instant he heard about Westview. If he regretted asking for a happy life with you to the redhead who accepted the proposal immediately because she understood Loki's pain and because you had been very sweet to her when you rescued her in Sokovia and she never had a chance to thank you or become your friend.
The only thing Loki was sure of was that his heart would never heal, and that his biggest regret was spending more than a millennium being hopelessly in love with you and never telling you that.