"I wan' bite Dooku," mumbled Kix into Rex's thighs. Rex patted him on the shoulder consolingly. He wanted to bite Dooku too.
He should comm Wolffe for biting tips, the man was vicious.
"Rex," slurred Skywalker, "what, what if she gets shot. She's so small. "
"Armour," Kix said into Rex's thigh, rolling onto his back and nearly headbutting Rex in the balls during the process. "She needs armour. And proper clothes."
"Fuck. I have no idea what I'm doing. Who gave me a baby? I'm still a baby! " groaned Anakin. Rex ignored him.
"If she outranks me," he said, slowly, "I can make her do some of the paperwork."
"-Oh my Force is she going to go through puberty? Puberty was awful. Oh kark, Kix, do togrutas get periods? Kix, do we have sanitary products? Kix?"
"Force, you're so drunk," he said, grinning dopily down at the medic.
"Jess," Kix said urgently, "Jess! She doesn't have bones."
"The baby Jedi," elaborated Rex. Jesse blinked at him, before looking back down at Kix.
"An- an her heads all empty," Kix slurred sadly. Jesse frowned.
"She doesn't seem that bad," he said, already defending the new Commander loyally. "We can bring her up to scratch in no time."
"Nooo," moaned Kix, "mean lit- liter- literally."
Jesse looked back to Rex for confirmation.
"Montrals," Rex replied, shrugging. Skywalker snored again.
He also had an awful headache.
Rex squinted at the open file on his datapad.
1. no pod racing 2. No hotwire speeders 3. Bugs 4. Don't get arested 5. No Hrdcase or Gives. Jess? 6. Eat vegetake befor desert 7. Hold hands outside temowl 8. Don't runawya 9. Bite dicku 10. No tlking to chanllelor 11. Grownups 12. Not get shit 13. Armor wear clothes 14. Papwrworb
- Accidental Child Procurement Procedures by Maddy_B
https://archiveofourown.org/works/30535440