It’s the mental illness, innit, love? Sabé once asked.
Stop talking like you’re from Coruscant, Padmé had retorted. And I’m not mentally ill. I’m normal.
Would a normal person marry Anakin Skywalker? Ha. The answer is obvious, case in point, Padmé Amidala, current Senator and former Queen of Naboo, is weird.
Anakin kneels by Sabé’s bed, breaking her out of her imaginary Padmé Roasting Session, and takes her hands.
“Uh, what?” Sabé asks blankly.
“I need your help,” Anakin says. “I’m stuck in a time loop, the universe is going to end in three days, and the only time I even came close to stopping it was when you were by our side.”
Sabé stares at Anakin. Waits for the penny to drop. A punchline, a laugh, a more logical explanation.
Anakin pulls out three hypstims and stabs Padmé, Cody, and Rex with one each. They awaken with a collective gasp.
“Anakin!” Sabé says, exasperated.
“No time for naps,” Anakin says. “We have a Sith Lord to kill.”
“Anakin, what are you planning?” Obi-Wan asks, disapproval evident in his voice.
Padmé ignores all three and grabs Anakin by his tunic, dragging him close. They kiss, and Obi-Wan averts his eyes. Sabé makes direct eye contact with Rex, and they make similar faces of disgust.
“Why is Skywalker making out with the Senator?” Cody asks. “I thought we were all pretending that we didn’t know.”
“Universe is ending,” Sabé informs him. “That one—” she nods at Anakin “—is stuck in an endless time loop. We’re going to go kill the Chancellor to keep it from happening again.
Everyone stares at her with incredulity in their eyes.
Anakin breaks apart from Padmé. He’s crying, Sabé realizes with horror. Padmé reaches out and caresses his cheek.
“You died,” Anakin says. “You died so many times, Padmé, and I couldn’t save you, and it was all my fault—”
“Oh, Ani,” Padmé says, embracing him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! But I’m here.”
“I’m so uncomfortable!” Rex says cheerfully.
“Could we do this later?” Sabé asks. “Please? I am not explaining this to these three by myself.”
“You know, I used to feel bad about never having someone who would want to marry me, but then you and Anakin got married, and that cheered me right up.”
“Because you love us so much?” Padmé asks with narrowed eyes, giving Sabé a clear out.
“Because then I’d have to experience this kind of fuckery on your end of it, instead of as an innocent bystander.”
“Will you help us?” Anakin demands, making far too intense eye contact with her.
“How am I supposed to help stop a Sith Lord?” Sabé demands.
“You’re like a good luck charm,” Anakin says. “Every time you’re with us, we get closer and closer. I’m sure one of these days we’ll actually finish.”
“That better not be a sex joke,” Sabé says.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Anakin snaps. “I’m stuck in a time loop, not an endless orgy.”
“I wish I were stuck in an endless orgy instead of this,” Rex mutters into his caf.
“What?” Rex asks innocently.
“You can’t go,” Sabé says. “You’re pregnant! What if you get killed?”
“I can still shoot people,” Padmé says.
“Your lack of self-preservation is astounding,” Cody says. “Ma’am.”
“I finally understand what you and Skywalker see in each other,” Rex says dryly.
- Revenge of the Sith: Electric Boogaloo by hoebiwan
https://archiveofourown.org/works/43848703
