Fallen: Part 16 - It is as I am
A.N. - I am sick, but i still managed to write this! I didn't think I would, but I got my writing brain back this afternoon. Neat :)
Masterlist - Part 15
Content: Villain whumpee, eating disorder (in recovery), disassociation, body dysmorphia, hallucinations, weakness, fear
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Kolt looked up from his lunch when the front door opened and stood quickly, about to meet Phoenix and Lynx at the door. That was the plan, at least, until Dalley grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him back.
"Nope, you still have to eat, Kolt."
Kolt looked down at the food on the table, his already full stomach turning.
"I can't eat any more, doc," he complained. "Leave me be."
"Nope. You are eating. Get back here and do it."
Kolt sighed heavily and sat back down, glancing at the doorway as he pushed around a piece of chicken through the sauce on his plate.
He had been expecting Phoenix and Lynx to be coming by again. After some talk, Dalley had decided it would be better for them to know about the hallucinations as well and to come help where they could with them. Phoenix had done some very helpful research and sent it over, but the two had been planning on coming over to help in person as Kolt tried to call the hallucinations into existence so they could do some tests.
While Kolt was extremely nervous about the idea, he had been excited to see Phoenix again.
Lynx came into the kitchen, wearing a jacket and a low cut shirt that revealed the tattoo on his collarbone where his Resource mark used to be.
"Phoenix had something come up," Lynx said to both of them. "He thought I would be able to handle it, though. I've been keeping up on the research he's been doing."
"Oh, that should be fine," Dr. Dalley said.
Kolt didn't respond. He simply forced another bite of chicken, making a face as he chewed on it slowly. He had really been hoping to see Phoenix again.
"Alright, fine. If that's enough, but you'll eat again in an hour," Dr. Dalley said, pulling Kolt's plate away.
Kolt tried not to feel any embarrassment about Dr. Dalley having to force him to eat as a 34 year old man, instead simply standing up and saying, "So, where are we going to perform the experiments?"
"There's a gym the gang owns up on fifth. It's a few blocks from here. Think you'll be able to make it?"
Kolt scoffed. "I can walk. There is no need to treat me like I am still on my deathbed."
"Then stop acting like you are," Dr. Dalley said pointedly, standing up.
Kolt rolled his eyes and went to get his coat and shoes. He finally had clothes, actual clothes, that fit, and he very much enjoyed every stitch of them. He didn't enjoy how small they all seemed to him, compared to the memories of his clothing from before. He was still thin, and Dr. Dalley was obsessed with putting meat on his bones. When he was in his 20s it would have been a snap to put all of that muscle weight back on. Now, at 34, after a month of care and rest and food, Kolt was still fighting for every single pound. It didn't help that his appetite never really came back. Food tasted wonderful, of course, especially compared to all of that time he had to live off of IV drips and whatever sludge was handed to him through the bars of his cell, but after three bites he just couldn't keep going.
It sincerely annoyed him.
He glanced at himself in his room mirror. He didn't look like he was going to fall down at any given moment anymore, and the more rounded glasses frames he wore suited him much better than the rectangular ones. His scars had faded slightly and wounds healed. His hair was more even, the patches growing in nicely, and the streaks of white actually lending a certain well worn air to him. If he could just get some weight and muscle back, he was certain he would finally look right. That his body would fit his mind and his spirit again.
He hated that, even after a month, he still almost didn't recognize the person in the mirror. It made him feel like he had left his real body in that cell, rotting and dying without him.
He shook his head, tearing his gaze from the mirror and swallowing hard. He couldn’t think about that right now. He would send himself into another panic attack if he thought about it for too long.
He pulled on his jacket and made his way to the hall, shoving his hands in his pockets. Lynx and Dr. Dalley were waiting for him, and he was surprised by how disappointed he still felt that Phoenix hasn't been able to make it. He didn't know Lynx very well at all, and while Phoenix seemed to trust Lynx more than anyone else in the world, Kolt had no idea where he stood with the second in command of the Dragon gang.
Lynx gave Kolt a short nod before the three of them left the small house.
Kolt looked down the street curiously. It was strange to be walking freely outside after so long. People glanced at him, but no one stopped him. There were no bars, no IV lines, no closed doors.
The sudden joy he felt slipped from his grasp again as he remembered Gale. His best friend, trapped and alone in all of those places Kolt had been trapped in. How was he doing? He wouldn’t be dead, Kolt was pretty sure, but had he broken? Had he been hurt beyond repair? What kinds of scars would he be dealing with then Kolt found Gale?
The walk wasn't long, and Kolt was glad to see that his work on the treadmill made the trip easy. He had been worried that he was still weaker than he had imagined, but the walk was very nice and he only felt slightly winded by the time they reached the gym.
Lynx held the door open for Kolt and Dalley, watching the people in the street to be sure they hadn't been recognized before stepping inside himself.
"I reserved the track for today," Lynx said softly. "It's in the basement. This way."
The lighting flickered a little to Kolt's sensitive eyes in the track room, but he did his best to ignore it. Lynx did have to chase out one runner who didn't know that the track had been reserved, but soon they had the room to themselves. Lynx closed and locked the door.
"Alright," Dr. Dalley said, pulling out a clip board and a Power monitor. "Are we ready to get started?"
Kolt shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be. Where are we starting?"
"How about we start with just trying to summon one of them?" Dr. Dalley asked. "Maybe Watcher, as you've named him? He seems the most harmless of the three you've mentioned."
Kolt tried to ignore how his heart rate kicked up at the very thought. He was tempted to ask if they could put this off for another day, but it would have to come one day. The faster he dealt with this, the sooner he would be allowed to go after Gale.
He took a deep breath and looked around, trying to figure out how to summon just Watcher. He could picture the hallucination in his mind's eye. His blue hoodie on a too thin frame, sweat pants, long pale hair hiding most of his face except for one black eye. Kolt could hear the two toned voice he spoke in, and see the way he stood, his posture hunched as he just... watched.
Kolt felt the prickle of eyes on the back of his neck and he whirled around to see Watcher.
The hallucination stood in the corner, just as imagined, and watched. Kolt tried to bury his fear, keeping his mind off of the other two. There was just one right now. He could handle just the one. He didn't need to think about Gambler or Beater right now.
"Now what?" Kolt asked, not taking his eyes off of Watcher.
Watcher's eye swiveled, looking at Dr. Dalley and Lynx with interest.
"You see him already?" Dr. Dalley asked.
Kolt nodded.
"Can you... speak to him a little, and see if you can't make him visible to us. I'm going to test some readings while you do so to see if there is some sort of Power activation going on right now."
Kolt nodded, trying to still the trembling in his hands.
He jumped when Lynx came to stand at his shoulder, putting a hand on his arm to help steady him. Before the labs and the box and the jar, Kolt would have been mildly offended that Lynx would offer him comfort like this. Now, he couldn't be more grateful for it.
"You're Watcher," Kolt said carefully.
"That is what you call me," the hallucination replied in that two toned voice. His eye swiveled to Dr. Dalley, and he nodded. "Skilled healer, giver of good advice. Weak knees and lower back, sedentary. Worthy ally."
Watcher turned his eye on Lynx and gave that satisfied nod again. "Strong, watchful, careful, good leader. Chronic pain, paranoid, PTSD. Worthy ally."
Kolt frowned at the hallucination for a moment. "Was that.....?"
He glanced over his shoulder at Lynx and asked in a whisper, "Do you have chronic pain?"
Lynx stiffened, glancing at the corner suspiciously. "I do."
"You can.... read traits of people? Traits that I don't know about?" Kolt asked Watcher.
Watcher simply nodded. "From people you have never even met before."
"Why?"
Watcher simply shrugged. "It is as I am."
"Can you.... make yourself visible to the others?"
"No. I do not have that ability. I can go where the other two cannot, but I cannot make myself seen or heard to anyone besides you.... it is a lonely existence."
"What do you want?" Kolt asked firmly as Dr. Dalley gasped a little over his device.
Watcher lifted a pale, skeletal hand and scratched at his cheek. "I want..... to be seen."
"Do you know what the other two want?"
"Why don't you ask us?"
Kolt jumped, slamming into Lynx in his attempt to get away from Beater and Gambler.
"Power levels just jumped," Dr. Dalley said, sounding more excited than Kolt wished he did. "These things are real to some extent, and they're connected to you, Kolt."
"Oh, joy," Kolt said, trying to keep his breathing under control. "Watcher said you two can be visible."
"Oh, no," Gambler said. "I can be visible, but Beater can only be heard."
"Then be visible, and be heard," Kolt growled.
Lynx stiffened and put himself between Kolt and the hallucinations, his eyes on Gambler.
Gambler put his hands in two of his many pockets. "There you go," he said, tilting his head. "Was that so hard, Kolt?"
Beater was creeping around Lynx, eyes fixed hungrily on Kolt.
Kolt tried to say something, to get something out, but his mouth wouldn't respond.
He gasped in relief when Lynx struck, clearly unable to see Beater, but capable of hearing him and grabbing him.
Beater snarled. "Stay out of this," he snapped, his voice surprising Lynx as well as the elbow he threw back into the ex-Resource's face.
Lynx's head snapped back and he stumbled, holding a hand over his nose as Beater lunged for Kolt.
Kolt dove out of the way, heart racing in his chest, and he turned to see Lynx struggling with Beater again. It wasn't a very fair fight with how invisible Beater still was, but, in the end, Lynx pinned the hallucination to the ground.
"Bet ya you won't get unpinned," Gambler called.
Beater snarled, snapping his teeth at Lynx's arm.
"Fine," Beater snapped. "I call tails."
Gambler pulled out a coin and flipped it cheerfully. "Heads! Sorry, Beater."
Beater growled, and finally went limp under Lynx, though he didn't look like the fight had gone completely out of him.
Watcher laughed low in his throat.
"What was that about?" Lynx snapped. "The coin?"
Gambler shrugged. "I wanted to try my new thing. We've been developing for a while, and while we were in waiting, we did our best to figure out what we were since Kolt here wasn't going to help us. You have quite the new set of powers, Kolt. Seems like Fate has her favorites. How about another bet, Kolt? Beater can't be held down for very long. When he gets up, he'll go after you or the good old doctor. Are you heads or tails?"
"No," Kolt snapped. "I'm not playing your games."
"That's too bad. Heads or tails? I can decide for you."
"Heads."
Kolt covered his mouth in shock. It was as though someone had pulled at his vocal chords and there had been nothing he could do to keep the word inside. Just like-
"It's ails," Gambler said, delighted.
Lynx suddenly fell forward as Beater disappeared out from under him.
Kolt jumped forward, trying to get to Dr. Dalley, but something in his knee gave out and he fell to the floor just as Dr. Dalley shouted in pain.
Part 17
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