Clicker, she/her approaching mid 20s. This is my blog for writing whump. @myhusbandsasemni is my main blog where I put updates for the novels I'm working to publish. I also do whump art. Commissions are open. See Pinned post for my stories, schedule for posting, and commissions information.
About Me and my Writing
Asks about me, my writing, or requests for whump scenarios and snippets are fully welcome and encouraged!
Crestlen Universe - ONGOING
The governments of three modern city states finally came to an agreement that they should combine their cities into one. Crestlen. A wild west of super powered villain and vigilantes, heroes tied up in yards of red tape and contradictory laws, and greedy, corrupt corporations.
With villains killing hamstrung heroes, corporations building new forms of slavery and standing armies, and vigilantes and gangs working together to keep the city from falling apart, there are many, many opportunities for people to get lost through the cracks and whumped to within an inch of their lives.
Completed Long Stories
* From Dust to Ashes - Vampires getting whumped in the modern era.
* Clove - Child werewolf whumpee, cottage core vampire caretaker
Thought Projects
* Kindled Scales - Fae politics and manipulation. Childhood friend betrayal. World created with @percy-frayer
* The Adventurers - Inter dimensional heroes have very dangerous jobs
One Shots
Picture this as a bin of randomly assorted whump snippets.
Challenges
The collections of whump works I complete for challenges. (Typically Adventurers content)
Abandoned or on Hiatus
Sometimes you start stuff and then don’t finish. Still, I don’t believe in throwing writing or art away, so I am saving these here in case I come back to them. You have been warned, though.
Bookshelf
The collection of stories I have found on Tumblr that I have read/am reading. This is really just a page for me to bookmark the things I’m reading so I don’t forget about them
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
Masterlist - Chapter 4
Content: Institutionalized living weapons, trans character having to hide who she is for her safety, aftermath of injuries, sleep deprivation, food deprivation, character getting backhanded, persistent questions about relationship status
The only thing on the note that Beater had handed Cedar was the doodle of a dragon breathing fire. She looked up, only for Beater to turn away, reaching out for the clothing that had been brought to the room for the Resources to wear.
Beater was from the Dragon Gang, somehow. Cedar shoved the piece of paper into her mouth, wetting it enough that she could ball it up between her teeth and swallow it.
That meant that Kam had to be with the Dragon Gang. It made her feel a little better. She didn't know much about the gang, and it could be its own form of evil, but it was diametrically opposed to the Resource Program, so she felt that her brother would be safe there for a bit.
Stars, she missed Kam. She wanted to see him again and ruffle his dark curly hair. She wanted to know if their parents had kicked him out too or if he had left of his own accord.
She got out of bed with a soft groan, her bruises and wounds aching unpleasantly.
Toby stood over her, concern in his eyes. "You alright?"
"I will be," she murmured.
"What's wrong with him?" Nova asked, and Toby replied, "I think Cedar had a meeting with Orin."
"I did," Cedar said, straightening. She sighed heavily and said, "We need to get ready. I'm afraid today isn't going to be easy."
"No? Is Orin angry with us?"
"Not really. He just does things by the book."
Toby sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Guess we'll just have to prove how tough we are."
Beater sidled up to the group, a bundle of clothes in hand which he passed to Cedar without a word before he vanished into the bathroom.
"What was that about?" Nova asked, raising her eyebrow at the bathroom door.
Cedar reached between the folds of the clothing, gratified to find another note. "We have something of an agreement. He helped me clean up when I got back last night."
"Oh?" Toby asked, giving Cedar a knowing look. Toby was under the impression that Cedar was gay and always invested in finding out if Cedar had some sort of secret relationship going on with another Resource. Heralines know that Toby dated around the female Resources near constantly. Cedar had no idea how he had the energy for it.
"Not like that," Cedar said firmly, trying to put an end to that line of thought.
Toby huffed.
Cedar didn't know what to think of Beater. She thought she would wait to decide anything until after she had taken a look at the new note he'd given her.
She moved to get changed, surprised that the clothing was her size. While her head and hand was in her shirt, she read the note quickly and then shoved it into her mouth.
Here to help. Not a Resource. Will need help blending in.
He had signed the note with a very simply drawn fist. Cedar had so many questions. How did someone sneak into the Resource program? Did he have a way to contact the outside? Was he a shape shifter? He had to have switched out with the real W2#07 when they were attached by the vigilantes at that exit. That was how he was able to find them a planned exit after that. This had all been thought out, and the Dragon Gang probably knew where this place was.
Cedar let a brief spark of hope light up inside of her. She might get out of here. They might all get out of here. Nova and Toby will be free to go one with their lives and do as they like. Cedar could find her brother, find them somewhere safe to live, and maybe she could even start her transition. She wanted to transition so badly it was like she was constantly starving.
Cedar finished getting dressed just after everyone else, and she was aware of all of the attention on her as people at seen here bruises and welts. They all took their places in front of their beds, arms folded behind their backs and their legs shoulder width apart.
Beater had taken a cue from everyone else and was standing in the same way, his expression distant, like he was thinking. He looked almost like he was enjoying himself. Cedar wished she could talk to him openly. She needed to find a moment to write a note with a couple of her questions and maybe some advice. She wished she could do it now while they were waiting, but it wasn't safe. She just hoped that he would be able to keep up whatever he had been doing the day before and keep from standing out.
The door opened and Orin stepped inside, his eyes going to Cedar immediately. She did not flinch or make a face, and she did not look him in the eye.
He nodded a little, apparently satisfied with what he saw before he walked to the end of the room and held a hand out to the Resource there.
She turned, picked up her report from the bed, and handed it to him. He went down the line, collecting reports. Beater turned his in, almost looking smug. Now she understood why he had been copying someone else's report the night before.
Orin got to Cedar, hand held out and she felt her heart in her throat. She hadn't thought he would expect a report from her. She'd had no time to write it between making sure things were settled and then taking her punishment. She supposed that instead of fighting with Beater and then having a panic attack in the closet she could have gotten something written up, but she still wouldn't have if she hadn't. She would have been helping with the injured instead.
"I don't have my report yet, sir," she said, keeping her voice quiet and even.
Orin backhanded her, and she stumbled backward. Despite being an older man, he hit like a man in his prime.
"I expect a report before lunch."
"Yes, sir," Cedar said, straightening back out and staring at the wall across the bunk room. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Beater, his shoulders tense. As Orin moved on, she looked more at Beater and was shocked to see the look of pure rage and blood lust on his face. He looked like a wild animal or even a werewolf from the old stories, primed to attack and rip Orin's throat out with just his teeth.
With what looked like a monumental amount of self control, the anger was pressed back until he looked human again, though he was still glaring daggers at Orin like he wanted nothing more than to feed the manager his own entrails.
Toby had seen the look, and was looking at Cedar with a 'are you sure you're not with him' look.
She rolled her eyes at him just before Orin reached the end of the row and turned to face the group.
"Today you will start with your warm-ups. Then you will run the yard for an hour and a half, after which you will have a 20 minutes break. I will instruct you further at that point."
"What about food, sir?" Nova asked.
"You don't need it," he replied before he turned on his heel and left.
There was a general grumble through the group as they started to pile out of the room and head to yard.
"No food? What gives?" Beater asked, having appeared at Cedar's elbow between one moment and the next.
"Resources died and were injured yesterday," cedar said with a sigh.
"As if that explains anything," Beater muttered. Right. He said he wasn't a Resource.
"That's just the way that it is."
Beater hummed, unimpressed.
He stuck to her, following her through warm ups and stretches which she took easy with her injuries, the cold morning breeze in the semi darkness at once helping and making her aches worse. Then, she started to run with everyone else around the edge of the yard.
"So," Toby said, coming to run on her one side as Nova took the other, maneuvering to keep Beater from being close enough to hear as he got trapped behind a slightly slower group. "What's with him?"
"We're friends," Cedar said with a half shrug. "Turns out he's a little weird, but he's reliable."
"Friends," Nova said, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously, what did he do to earn that? We've been your only friends and that's just because we were there to keep you from kicking the bucket those first couple of months!"
Cedar didn't really have the patience for this. "What? You worried you're going to be replaced. You're not going to be."
"Don't worry, Nova. Beater is probably just Cedar's boy toy for the moment," Toby said. "He'll get tired of the guy. What do you see in him, anyway? He seems a little unstable. Nova, did you see his face when Orin slapped Cedar? Or is that what you like about him?"
"I'm going to slap you in a minute, Toby," Cedar said. "I am not interested in him romantically or sexually. He helped me out last night and I think he will be useful to us."
Toby rolled his eyes.
Beater worked his way around the slow group and joined them, something like pure joy on his face which got a strange look out of all three of them. He noticed and hunched his shoulders a little defensively. "I like running," he said sharply.
"I can see that, big man," Toby said, coming around Cedar to loom over Beater as they ran. "Race you to the next corner?"
Beater's face lit up and he sprinted alongside Toby, getting far ahead of Nova and Cedar.
"He's going to interrogate him," Nova observed.
Cedar sighed. "Yeah, yeah he is."
"So... you really don't-"
"Nova!"
"What? Just asking."
Up ahead, Toby slowed down, and Beater glanced over his shoulder, delighted that he had beaten the taller man to the corner. The rush was everything to him. As they settled into a better pace and Toby caught his breath a little, he leaned in conspiratorially and said, "So, Cedar, huh?"
"What about him?" Beater asked.
"Do you like him?"
Beater thought the question over. What did it really mean to like someone? He didn't have much practice in it, but if it was the opposite of how he felt about Kolt, then it was probably right.
"Yeah, I guess so," Beater said.
"Mmm, what do you like about him?"
There was something in Toby's tone as he said it that clued Beater in to something deeper going on. He reached for Kolt's memories, finding one where the villain and Gale had been in a club and someone had asked Kolt that same question.
Kolt had rolled his eyes and said, "No. Not like that."
Beater gave Toby a hard stare to buy himself some time. Did he like Cedar like that? He barely knew Cedar. What did it even feel to like someone like that?
No, he was too new for this. He needed to figure out how to have allies and friends before he even touched that, and he'd probably have to experiment for a while and think about it at least a little bit. But he was also born through the Heraline method of creation. Would he have any desire for anyone romantically?
"No," Beater said. "I don't. I just think Cedar is cool, and I would like to be friends."
Toby huffed, clearly disappointed. "One of these days," he muttered.
"Why did you ask. Do you like Cedar?"
"Oh, no, I'm a ladies man," Toby said, shaking his head. "I could introduce you to some of the Resources gals who don't mind letting someone else be in control for a bit."
Beater felt a roll of discomfort in his gut and said, "No."
Toby rolled his eyes. "No fun. Come on, let's fall back to-"
Beater ignored him, instead sprinting again to come back around to Nova and Cedar, feeling another fit of excitement hit him as the sun finally got over the horizon and light started to pour into the yard.
Chapter 6 - Coming next weekend..... maybe. Next weekend is right before camp so I may or may not be able to post
A.N. - Honestly, this interaction between Toby and Beater is so funny to me. Beater is out here, three days old, and he had no idea what it even means to be friends with someone, nevermind what it's like to like like someone. Or if he can like someone in that way. Doesn't help that the only examples of friendship he has to work off of is the kind of codependent ones that Kolt has going on. I love them, man. Incredible.
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
Masterlist - Chapter 3
Content: Institutionalized living weapons, trans character having to hide who she is for her safety, aftermath of beating, split lip, bruising, bound, hair grabbing, welts, minimal wound care, sleep deprivation
Orin jerked Cedar's head back by the hair. She didn't know how long she had been here, her hands tied behind her back and blood trickling down her chin from a split lip. She took a slow breath, keeping her expression even as she looked up at Orin. He didn't even look like he was enjoying this. He seemed almost bored. She wondered if he was thinking about wanting to be in bed right now, but was too determined to do everything by the book to actually quit early.
Well, he was certainly doing it by the book. Her split lip stung, the bruises to her ribs (front and back) ached, and her thighs stung where he had bought a pole down across them.
"The offer," he said, as though reciting from a piece of paper. "Your team can take the rest of your punishment in the form of training and restricted meals tomorrow, or we continue."
There was a right and a wrong answer here. The team leaders were supposed to make their subordinates suffer. Taking on pain for them was considered a weakness. Sentimentality. Cedar shuddered. She couldn’t show any more weakness while she was here.
"My team is strong," she rasped. "They can handle it."
"Good," Orin said, letting go of her hair. It almost made her consider getting it buzzed, but she hated the way she looked in a buzz cut and she knew the managers liked having something to grab onto when they made sure a point got through to her. She didn't want them grabbing for her throat if she could help it.
He circled her and cut her hands free before shoving Cedar hard with his foot, sending her sprawling sideways.
She took a breath to calm herself before she sat up, kneeling, looking at Orin's blood speckled shoes, and her arms folded behind her back. Like she had been trained.
It had been one of the first lessons the Resources were taught. And they were taught by being tied into that position for days on end, drinking thin broth out of bowls that were brought to them by the older trainees. Anyone who fought back was severely beaten, and if you fought back thrice, you were killed.
Cedar could still see the blood when she closed her eyes late at night. Only one trainee had to be killed before the others fell into place.
Orin stood there, letting her sit as she had been trained despite the strain it put on her ribs before he finally said, "You are dismissed. You may wake one of your subordinates should you need help cleaning yourself up."
She wouldn't wake anyone. They needed their sleep, especially for what they were going to go through the next day because of her choice. Though, it wasn't much of a choice. Just a test to see if she would do what the managers wanted.
"Thank you, sir," she said.
She did not get up until his shoes had disappeared from her line of sight.
She limped through the training room and into the dark hallway. She had to feel her way back as there were no guiding strips or even glowing exit signs. Just oppressive darkness in the slightly too warm halls and her good memory of the halls.
She made it back to her team's rooms and pushed open the door.
There was a moment of silence as Cedar just listened to everyone breathe, relieved that they were all here and they were all still safe.
Then something shifted in the darkness.
"You're back," Beater rumbled.
He moved, though Cedar couldn't see him.
"You're hurt," he said at a whisper this time, uncertain.
"No surprise there," Cedar replied. It honestly could have been worse.
Beater hummed and gently put a hand on Cedar's elbow, guiding her through the room without a pause or a stumble.
A door opened and then closed after they stepped through and then the bathroom light turned on.
It was dimmed with the lights out in place, but even the managers understood that there should be light on in the bathroom for night time incidents unless they want to deal with any mess that might come from stumbling around in the darkness looking for somewhere to dump bodily fluids quickly.
Beater did not look tired despite the fact that he had clearly not been asleep. He frowned deeply at Cedar. "You're hurt worse than I thought," he said. "Is there a first aid kit around here?"
Of course there was. Every Resource knew where it was, but he didn't for some reason.
Cedar sighed and went to one of the cupboards, opening it and pulling out the gauze and the rags that were available for cleaning wounds.
"That can't be it," Beater said, miffed.
Cedar shot him a look and he closed his mouth on another comment. Was he stupid? New? Did he have a kind manager before this, or a team leader who went out of their way to care for their subordinates? He was so strange. Cedar wished she had read the note he had snuck to her before now.
Beater took the rag from her and got it wet, loading a bit of soap into the rag before looking a little lost.
Had he never cleaned a wound?
He closed his eyes, concentrating for a moment before he nodded to himself and turned to her. "Where are you hurt?"
"It's just bruising," Cedar said, grabbing the rag from him to dab at the blood on her lip, chin and neck. "Go back to bed."
Beater looked very uncomfortable and cleared his throat. He tilted his head and touched her shoulder where he had left the note earlier, raising his eyebrow in question.
Cedar shook her head.
Beater huffed.
"No time," Cedar risked saying before dabbing at her lip some more.
She needed to sit soon. Her legs were trembling terribly, and it was making the welts on her thighs hurt horribly.
"You're bleeding," Beater said.
She looked down at her legs to see the smears of red bleeding through the grey of her pants.
She swore, letting her legs give out on her, grabbing onto the sink so she didn't collapse.
Beater came closer, taking the rag. The expression his face was so intense and... concerned. He wasn't just concerned, but clearly baffled by his own reaction.
"Can I look?" he asked.
She shrugged, too tired to argue.
He shuffled her sweatpants down to her knees with almost clinical manners.
The welts had opened at some point, bleeding a bit in places.
Beater dabbed at the cuts, muttering an apology when Cedar flinched.
"Was this because people died?" Beater asked. "Or just for fun?"
"People died and got hurt."
Beater froze for a moment, guilt flickering in his eyes.
"Nothing we could have done about it," Cedar sighed.
"Mm..." Beater said, unconvinced.
He put gauze on her wounds and wrapped her thighs up before saying, "Ribs?"
She said, pulling her shirt up enough to where he could see her ribs.
He hummed. "Need ice," he grumbled before he got up and turned on the sink.
There was a long moment of silence before Cedar asked, "Why?"
"Can't tell you now," Beater said, wringing out the rag a few times to get the blood out.
Cedar was getting really frustrated. She had questions she wanted to ask Beater, but she couldn't ask him anything. They were always being watched, no matter where they were. There was no chance of them speaking openly past little notes they could pass back and forth, and the managers were always looking for those notes.
Beater crouched by her and pressed the cold rag to her ribs gently.
Cedar sighed, relaxing a little. She knew she couldn't let herself trust this guy, but she wanted to. She wanted someone to take care of her so badly. She had wanted that so badly even before her parents had kicked her out of the house.
Almost like he knew what Cedar was thinking, Beater muttered, "I've got you."
Cedar grabbed his wrist, taking the rag. "I can take it from here."
Beater tilted his head at her. "Do you want to be alone?"
"Yes." No.
Beater frowned, tapping his fingers on his knees. She was certain he could read into what she actually wanted, but he stood up. "Alright."
Cedar pressed her lips closed. She was not going to ask him to stay. She was an adult. She did not need a kind hand or someone to look after her. Especially not when she was the team leader. She had to be stronger.
He hesitated, looking back at her with more of that confusion before leaving.
Cedar sighed softly. She pressed the cool rag against her sides a few times before she forced herself up and limped to bed, turning the light out behind her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Beater did not sleep. He laid on his bed, listening to Cedar settle in.
He didn't know what to think of the team leader. He was strange. Beater wanted nothing more than to speak with Cedar for even a moment. He was just so confused.
He sighed and rolled over, giving sleep another try. He had no idea what he was supposed to really do. He knew how Kolt did it, but that didn't seem to be working for him. Maybe he didn't need sleep? That would be actually awesome. Beater never understood why people wasted so much time unconscious. There were so many fights to be had in the dark.
Beater smiled to himself, imagining putting his fist straight through the manager's face. Beater knew he was the one who did this to Cedar, and he wanted nothing more than to kill the man for it.
Which was.... strange. This sort of rage and desire for destruction was odd. He always wanted to fight and punch and claw and kill, but this was different. He wanted to kill for Cedar. For everyone. He was feeling so weirdly protective of the Resources here. He barely even knew them! Cedar had straight up attacked him as soon as they were alone. He had no idea what this meant.
He closed his eyes, reaching out for Watcher and Gambler. Maybe they would be able to help him sort this out, but they were still so far away. Watcher could go father than Gambler could in general, but even then Gambler felt weaker. Why was that? Beater, huffed and rolled over again, opening his eyes to stare at the room. Everyone was curled up under their blankets, a few twitching from dreams that were clearly tormenting them. Beater was glad he couldn't sleep.
He was bored.
He called for Watcher again, and heard nothing back except for a general push for Beater to stop calling. Kolt must have been tired, then. Or Watcher was busy with something. Annoying.
Morning came slowly, and Beater was on his feet even before the alarms rang out through the building for 5 am.
The lights came on, making a few people yelp. Cedar was still asleep despite it all, his lip swollen badly now. Beater watched the tall thin man from the day before lean in to wake him and he blinked slowly, groaning softly before hiding under his pillow for a moment.
The man snorted and shook his head. Cedar stayed there for a moment before he shifted, letting a little light in under the pillow.
Beater felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw his note in Cedar's hand.
His head snapped up to Beater, eyes wide, and Beater turned, grabbing for the new clothes that were being brought to the room by trainees.
Chapter 5
A.N. - I love Beater. He is so violent and so new to the world. He has to work through everything with the memories of a guy he doesn't really like all that much as his only guide. Frustrating. Shout out to him learning that he cares deeply about people around him, somewhat against his will. He is a legend.
I want him and Cedar to have a proper talk soon, but I haven't quite figured out how they will manage that yet. I'm still thinking on it.
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
Masterlist - Chapter 2
Content: Institutionalized living weapons, trans character having to hide who she is for her safety, panic attack, controlled sleep schedules
Cedar closed herself in a closet, well after she had lost W2#07 in the halls. She slid to the floor, back to the door, and buried her head in her arms, biting into her knee to try and keep from crying out.
"I could have sworn he said sister, not brother."
Somehow, some way, W2#07 knew about Kam. Somehow he knew that Kam had a sister.
Had Kam been taken into the Resource Program? How else would W2#07 know about Kam? Where else could he have possibly talked to her brother. This wasn't fair. This wasn't right.
She needed to get her brother out. The idea of him being trapped here the program right along with her made her sick to her stomach.
She wanted to scream and cry. There were tears that wanted to fight their out and there was breath caught in her chest, but she couldn't let it out. She had to hide. She couldn't let her emotions get the better of her here. She was stronger than that.
She swallowed hard, trying to control her breathing, trying to calm down from the panic attack she had worked herself into as her heart beat loudly in her ears. She didn't have time for this. She would need to make sure that she was ready for lights out. She had to be ready to take the punishment that Orin had in store for her. She was a leader. She was stronger than this. She had trained herself for this.
She took more controlled breaths, her nails digging into her shin as she let the slight sting ground her. Then, she reached out to stroke the objects in the cupboard, forcing her mind to work and figure out what she was touching in the darkness.
That was certainly a mop next to it's bucket, this had to be a container of some sort of chemical, and that.... Cedar wasn't sure what it was.
She slowly calmed down as she touched the object, trying to sort out what it was until she realized it was a stapler.
That made her laugh a little.
Finally, feeling ready to face what was ahead, she got up and opened the door to the closet, stepping out in time to see a small stream of trainees coming around the corner.
They did not laugh or talk. She could see they wanted to talk with one another, but it was clear that they were not allowed to. Some of them were wearing gags or even muzzles, probably from breaking some rule of silence. Cedar never had to wear any such device, as she had been very well behaved, but some of the others had. She remembered the last of her group, designation W4#20, often had to wear them for a few weeks because when he panicked, he panicked loud.
The muzzles never made it better, though. She always got the sense that he already had trauma around gags. Maybe that was why he was forced to wear them so often. The trainers had sensed that weakness and exploited it. What was his name? The one he wanted to go by?
Cedar gently scratched the scar on the side of her head where she had been chipped before coming up with it. Waylon, that was it. He had admitted to her that he had some sort of medical condition that kept him from being anything but dead last in their group. Hence the 20 in his designation.
Cedar shook those memories off as the last of the teenagers went past and she stalked down the hall to where she knew the rooms for her team would be.
Of course, the first person she saw was W2#07. He was sitting on a top bunk, working on his report, his tongue stuck out a little between his teeth. She could tell he was glancing down at someone else's report every so often before nodding and muttering himself and continuing to work on his.
She thought about reprimanding him for this sort of cheating, but he knew something about her. He knew her brother somehow. She needed to get on his good side for long enough to get that information out of him, so she let him be.
She checked the clock and said, "Lights out in 30."
There was a general sigh from the group. No one complained, everyone wanted to go to bed after all, but they all knew that they did not have enough time to get ready for bed and finish their reports so they would all have to get up early, which was worse than just staying up late to finish the reports.
Cedar was trying to decide if she should even start her report or expect to write hers in blood with Orin.
Why she ever let anyone put her in charge, she had no idea.
She sighed and went to her bunk, standing in front of her bed where her bag was still packed.
What was the point of unpacking it? She wouldn’t have time to really enjoy sleeping tonight. She pulled it off the bunk and shoved it under the bed before going to the bathroom.
Everyone was scrambling to get their reports done before it was time for lights out, so she had it to herself.
She put her hands on either side of the sink and stared at herself in the mirror.
A dark skinned man stared back at her with stubble in desperate need of shaving and hair that was just a little longer than regulation. She stared and stared, trying to fine Leslie behind that face somewhere, but there was just this man who was tired and bruised and uncaring that the sight of him made her feel sick.
She shook her head and went back into the shared room for her dopp kit so she could shave. If she was going to be beaten tonight, she wasn't going to be dealing with stubble at the same time.
As she finished wiping her face up, she looked into the mirror to see W2#07 standing there, watching her with interest. He was just as interested in her as she was interested in him. There were cameras in the bathroom, however, so neither of them could speak. There was no privacy to be had as a Resource. You were property from the moment someone signed your name to the Program.
W2#07 folded his arms and leaned against the wall. "So, why the name Cedar?"
That was a deeply personal question for a Resource. You could never go by your birth or preferred name, and the designations were often confusing, especially in the heat of the moment. The name you chose for yourself was personal and sensitive.
Cedar didn't plan on telling anyone where she chose her name from.
"Where did you get yours?" she asked.
She didn't expect him to respond.
"I got that one because it's all I want to do. All I want to do is fight people, make them bleed. I want to sink my fists and teeth into flesh," Beater said with relish. There was a feral look about his eyes, a place where humanity went to die, but then it faded back and was replaced by a thoughtful, human look. "But I did want to apologize, for what it's worth. You're not someone I should take it out on."
Cedar turned to face him fully instead of looking at him through the mirror. "And why is that?"
Beater just raised an eyebrow at that.
She gritted her teeth for a moment before she asked the question she had been dying to ask him since those fateful words left his mouth.
"Is he safe?"
"Yes," Beater said with a half shrug. "Safe as houses."
Cedar relaxed slightly. That was good. Really good. She had been so afraid he was a Resource, but no Resource would ever call another safe. Not really.
She wished she could ask where he was. Or how Beater knew, but this was not the place for that kind of questioning.
Beater took three steps forward to close the gap, patted her shoulder, and turned, leaving the bathroom.
He had left a note under the collar of her shirt.
She cleaned up the sink, packed her things away, aware of the scratchy paper against her skin, and then went back to the main room.
She was careful as she put her kit away, slipping the note under it with her things. She couldn't read it now. She would get to it later. She would have to go soon. It was almost-
"Lights out!" someone called down the hall and people scrambled to get in bed before all of the lights shut off.
She stood in the darkness, listening to the last of the shuffling around her before she went to stand by the door.
Sure enough, the door opened and someone with a flashlight blinded her for a brief moment.
"Manager wants to see you."
Cedar nodded and followed the Resource out.
The door closed behind her on the room of Resources settling down for the night and she went to her doom in the darkness.
They did not go to Orin's office. They went to one of the small training rooms where Cedar did not have to knock as the door was already half open.
She stepped inside where the lights were on and did not see Orin, but she went to stand in the middle of the room, her legs shoulder width apart, her arms folded behind her back, and she waited.
It was not a wait she appreciated. It really made her think about the Resources she lost, the ones who were injured, and the pain that would be met out for that waste of time and training on weapons that were now decommissioned.
It also made her think about Kam and Beater and that note that was waiting for her to get back and read it. She really needed to read that note. Maybe it would explain how Beater knew Kam. Why he was so strange. How he had access to the outside world.
But this all could be a trick. Beater could have been planted by the higher ups to test Cedar, and if that was the case, Cedar was failing that test badly. Badly enough that she might need to be retrained. She had not been retrained before but she had seen what it could do to a Resource. To Resources in her own group and her own batch.
There was a soft creak behind her as the door opened. Orin always loved to enter behind Resources. Resources were trained to hate having their backs to exits, and every manager knew that and preyed on that trained instinct.
"You're here," Orin said softly. "Good. We have a lot to go over, W4#01."
Chapter 4
A.N. - Yup, that's right, new posting schedule, lolol. I think y'all will get either one or two chapters each weekend cause there's more time and I don't have to stress myself out during the work week making sure I post after work and errands. We'll see how this goes. And, man, I adore Cedar. I heccin LOVE her! Please leave a comment if you are so inclined. I wanna know what you think so far :3
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
Masterlist - Chapter 1
Content: Institutionalized living weapons, trans character having to hide who she is for her safety, implied threats for later violence, scuffle between main characters
Cedar stood rigidly outside of Orin Matthew's office. She wasn't very sure where they were exactly. They had left the main city of Crestlen and drove a ways out through the fields and small forested areas that served as Crestlen's agricultural area. Then they were out in land that was too rocky and badly graded for farming.
At some point they were given hoods to wear and then there was just darkness and the muffled chatter of Resources trying not to feel like they were cattle being driven right to the slaughterhouse.
It was training facility, Cedar knew. They had seen young Resources in the yard before the teens were shooed away back indoors. The Resources were showed a place they could change out of their gear and into their yard outfits, but Cedar had made her way straight to Orin's office.
She always knew where Orin's office was. No matter where they ended up, he chose an office on the middle floor of the building, no windows, and the room number contained a number 5. Every time.
This time it was room 15 on the second floor.
Cedar reached out and knocked, steeling her nerves.
There was 2 seconds of silence, like always, and then Orin said, "Come in."
Cedar opened the door and closed it, coming to stand in front of Orin at attention.
Orin looked her over, slowly and carefully. He had such a distinct face, but Cedar could never place where he was from. That wasn't uncommon, though. Most people were racially mixed, but you could usually guess where their parents came from generally before the MAD event forced everyone into such close proximity 800 years ago, if you had read enough history and seen enough pictures of what people looked like before the MAD event.
But Orin had a distinctly racially ambiguous face that was unlike any face Cedar had seen before. Sometimes she wondered if it was done cosmetically to purposefully create a sort of uncanny valley feeling. Or maybe that was just her bias from knowing what he was and what he could do to her.
He could really, really make her suffer.
"Sir," Cedar said softly when he made no move to start the meeting.
He nodded and said, "You did well."
Cedar tried not to show her surprise, but she must have failed because Orin laughed, low and soft.
"Most Resources in your position would have failed. You would have all been killed or captured. Instead, you kept your head and got everyone out."
Cedar nodded slowly and said, "W2#07 is mostly to thank for that, sir."
"Don't attribute wins to others that you could easily pass off as your own," Orin said sharply.
Cedar simply gave a nod. "Yes, sir."
Orin got up from his desk with a sigh. He came around the desk to stand right in front of Cedar. He was just a little shorter than Cedar, maybe an inch, but Cedar still felt like he was towering over her.
Orin looked her up and down. "You would make a good team leader one day, you know. You have a ways to go, but I know you will be everything I need you to be."
Right up until the point I can tear out your throat and escape, Cedar thought to herself sharply.
Orin smiled, almost like he could hear Cedar's thoughts. "You will be paying for the lives that were lost under your watch, however."
"I understand, sir," Cedar said.
"I will come get you at lights out to serve out your punishment."
Cedar nodded, recognizing this as the dismissal that it was and turned to leave the office.
"Oh, and tell the rest to wait for me in the yard when they're done changing."
Cedar nodded again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Beater, who had quite the time of figuring out how one got in and out of clothing and was glad to pawn off his struggling as just being injured, waited in line with everyone else as the sun started to inch down toward the horizon. He didn't really know what time it was, but he was surprised it was already so late. He guessed that it had taken them a minute to get out of the labs and that it had been quite the drive to reach this... wherever they were, but still.
Beater was quite content, however. He watched the sun go down, enjoyed the breeze on his neck, listened to the people breathing in line, and matched his breathing to theirs. He relished in every detail of it. He even loved how his feet faintly ached for how long they had been standing out here, waiting. Everything was a joy now that he was free and separating himself from Kolt.
Beater smiled to himself, his lips twitching around the scar hidden as an injury. He wondered what it would be like to have hallucinations at his beck and call. Based on the way he was created, he assumed that one day he would be able to manage some on his own. He knew he would be a more effectual host than Kolt. Heck, Beater was almost certain he had the energy to summon Kolt as a hallucination rather than the other way round.
Beater amused himself with that thought for a minute until a door opened and a man with cropped black hair and almond eyes came out into the yard from behind. He walked slowly around to stand in front of them, eyeing each and every one of them. His eyes lingered on Beater, cataloging his injuries.
Beater did his best to keep his face neutral, but he eyed the man in just the same way.
He had an old foot injury. Beater could tell.
Beater inwardly frowned, and then realized he could feel Watcher hovering on the edge of his vision, watching everyone and everything.
What are you doing here? Beater tried to ask, but the connection between them was too weak, and then Watcher was gone. Beater got the feeling that Watcher didn't get much from the brief moment he was here beyond the insight into that man's old injury, which he had passed on to Beater.
Thanks, Beater thought toward Watcher, wherever he was, before he concentrated on the man who was still staring everyone down silently.
"Well done on making it out alive," the man said. "We are waiting to get in contact with Harry and Co Labs to get your next assignment. In the meantime you will stay here. We have cleared out a set of dorms for you lot and you will be expected to be up at regular time to train. You may also be asked to train up some of the RITs in here. You will do so without sabotaging the training paths they are currently on."
"Yes, sir," everyone barked at the same time.
Beater was glad the guy wasn't looking at him when they did so as he didn't manage to speak the words along with everyone else. He needed to get with the program quick. He didn't want to be caught out just yet.
Beater reached deep for Kolt's memories for when he was in the Hero Training Program. Those felt like they would be a good pattern for what was going on here.
"I also want a written report of everything that happened during your mission yesterday," the man said. "On my desk by 5 AM."
Beater wrinkled his nose. He had been looking forward to finding out if he could sleep. Plus he wasn't even there for half of the mission. That was annoying.
"You're dismissed," he said, before pacing off. He was good at hiding his issue with his foot.
Beater huffed, annoyed and glanced around. The leader of the group had a distant expression on his face, clearly not looking forward to something. He was not the toughest looking guy in the yard, but he seemed the most well rounded. Beater considered him for a long moment before casually making his way over.
The leader's attention snapped to him, the W4#01 clearly printed into his clothing.
"Heyla," Beater said casually.
A tall pale man stepped forward defensively, as did the woman with him.
"No need for that," Beater said, unphased. He had faced off with much worse. Well, maybe not much worse. He didn't have much life experience, but he was certain he could take these two on if he had to despite being on the shorter side now. "I just needed to talk to W4#01 over here for a mo."
The two glanced at the leader who nodded.
"I'm Beater," he said.
The leader gave him a sharp look. "That's quite the name."
Beater shrugged.
"Have you earned it?"
Beater, depressingly, hadn't felt like he had, but he got the sense that would change soon enough. He shrugged again.
The leader considered him before saying, "I'm Cedar."
A wave of confusion hit Beater. He'd heard that name before. No, Kolt had. From that Depletion kid. But Beater had been pretty sure Cedar was a woman? He knew Kolt called Cedar Depletion's sister at some point. He could taste it in the memories he was borrowing from Kolt.
His hesitation was clear as the woman leaned forward and said, "You got a problem with that?"
"No," Beater said. "Just... thought I'd heard of you, but..." Beater looked a little closer, but no. Nothing had changed. He needed to get Cedar alone to ask a question or two. "Look, I have something private to ask you, if you don't mind. No funny business, I just need to confirm something while there aren't so many people looking."
"Whatever you want to say, you can say in front of these two," Cedar said sharply.
Beater wasn't Watcher. He wasn't all knowing about people's weaknesses or previous names or pasts, but he could tell when someone was hiding something.
"I don't think I can," Beater said. His tone was strange, even to him. Lighter, wispier.
Cedar raised an eyebrow, glanced at the other two and then made some sort of signal.
The two frowned at him and backed off as Cedar gestured for Beater to follow.
They made their way out of the yard and into the main building. Cedar found them an empty classroom, closing the door.
There was a moment of silence before Cedar struck like a snake, grabbing Beater and shoving him down across a desk.
Faint pain sparked in his newly made body, but he paid it no mind as he twisted, rolling like fog out of Cedar's grip.
Cedar snarled as Beater thrust himself up, planting his shoulder in Cedar's stomach.
Cedar fell back and Beater found the violence singing to him, filling his throat like good water. He couldn't help himself as he slammed his fist down into Cedar's cheek, watching his head snap to the side before grabbing Cedar by both shoulders and pinning him there.
They panted for a moment, Cedar subtly shifting to find a way out of his position.
"Do you have a brother?"
Cedar froze, a little color draining from his brown skin. "How-"
"Mmm... could have sworn he said sister, not brother," Beater said. "Unless there's another Resource named-"
Cedar surged upward, slamming a hand across Beater's mouth, glancing at the corner.
Beater followed his gaze and realized there was a camera.
Beater nodded, indicating he wouldn't speak anything more of it.
Cedar slowly let go of Beater's mouth and Beater got up, offering a hand to Cedar.
Then, Cedar left. Beater tried to follow, but Cedar was fast and obviously knew these halls better than Beater did so he just got very lost.
He stood in a hallway that looked just like all of the others and huffed. So, that was the correct Cedar... probably. Or not. And he didn't trust Beater, that was clear.
Beater shook his head, turning his mind to the other task at hand. Which was stealing someone's report at some point to figure out how it was supposed to be formatted and what happened before he took over as W2#07. He wanted to at least figure out what was up with Cedar before he went around revealing himself and fighting a presumably glorious battle against whatever leadership there was to be found around here.
Chapter 3
A.N. - THEM THEM THEM!!! Things are not going well in the friend making department here. This environment is intent on forcing them to mistrust one another, and Cedar has grown to become very very distrusting over everyone around her because she is terrified of being found out. But, man, I just want them to be friends right off the bat, lolol
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
Masterlist
Content: Living weapons, injuries, fighting, guns, mentions of dead characters
See, the most annoying thing about being a hallucination is that your whole identity is tied up in the guy that was hallucinating you into existence. That gets tired real quick. Especially when all you want to do is fight and experience things and really get your knuckles bloody, and the guy you're tied to is terrified of getting into any more fights.
Beater was tired of it. He wanted to go out and get things done. He wanted to cause problems and learn about things on his own. He wanted to get into trouble without anyone dragging him back to heel. He might be a hallucination, but he was still a person... he was pretty sure.
That was the other thing about being a hallucination. It was hard to see where you ended and that other guy started. It was hard to figure out just how real you were at the end of the day when you knew you weren't in some capacity.
So, of course Beater wandered off when the infiltration of Harry and Co Labs started. Everyone in the Dragon Gang was so intent on blocking exits and finding Gale and that vigilante, so it was easy for Beater to slip away. All of Kolt's focus was on Watcher, anyway. No one would care if Beater wandered through the halls and found a couple of guys to fight.
Beater caught sight of movement down at the end of the hall and broke into a sprint, heading straight for the trouble.
The scientist glanced back and panicked upon seeing a man running down toward him. The scientist screamed, high pitched and animal like.
Beater made quick work of the man, leaving him bloody on the floor.
"Boring," Beater muttered, rolling his eyes. He had hoped to come across a couple of guards. Maybe some of them would come to investigate the screams?
Beater wouldn't be that lucky.
With an annoyed sigh, Beater kept exploring.
The place had cleared out fast. Anyone who hadn't managed to escape were probably fighting at one of the blocked exits to escape. But maybe some people would come flooding back through the halls like trapped rats looking for another way out.
Beater licked his lips and rolled his shoulders, eventually poking through the labs themselves in case there was anything interesting to look at or learn before he had to go back to Kolt.
He rolled his eyes at the thought of Kolt. What a loser.
He had wandered through a handful of labs before he found something that caught his attention. He slowed by a counter with a laptop open to a half written paper about Heraline reproduction.
"How stupid is this," he muttered, ready to be amused by whatever buzz word slop he was about to read. Everyone claimed to know something about the Heralines, the aliens that had visited the planet before the MAD event about 800 years ago. Everyone was certain they knew how those creatures reproduced amongst each other or how their society really was. It was really stupid. Beater was familiar with all of Kolt's memories that had to do with dealing with Heraline obsessed lunatics.
He skimmed the page for just a moment, his smile slowly slipping from his face.
There is a lot of speculation in the scientific community about Heralines in general with most of our knowledge of them lost during the MAD event. We have been forced to reverse engineer what a Heraline truly is from the contaminated DNA that can be found in Powered individuals.
One thing we can only theorize about is how they reproduce. Stories that remain from before the MAD event often refer to Heralines that were not quite real.
Beater stared at those last five words. He grabbed the laptop off the counter, holding it on one of his arms and scrolling desperately. Words flew by his widening eyes.
Hallucination like beings.... born from the mind.... maturation process....
And then this:
We have been able to mimic these beings in Powered individuals ranked higher than an 8 in Power level. These hallucinations are typically fleeting. It is believed that the strength of the mind needed to create a hallucination is more than the average mind can provide. Still, this is exciting-
"I don't care," Beater snarled. "I don't care! How do I become my own person!?"
He nearly scrolled passed the paragraph he needed.
It is believed that the hallucination, after maturing for a period of time dependent on the strength of the host, will feel the urge to leave their host more and more. They will finish their maturation process, presumably, after living away from the host for long enough. Though if this step is taken too soon-
Beater slammed the laptop down, too excited to put it down gently. He paced in a circle, feeling slightly feral. He was breathing too hard. Hard enough that he could actually feel air moving slightly through his nose. Was it too soon? If it was too soon he could die. Disappear forever. He didn't know what came after for normal people, never mind what happened to.... whatever he was.
He bit his knuckle, trying to think through the volatile emotions he always had to deal with. He couldn't stand being around Kolt anymore. He wanted his own life. He didn't know what he would do, but anything would be better than this.
At the end of the day, Beater was a hallucination of action.
He read through a couple of the paragraphs one more time, and then he rushed out of the lab.
He was free. He was free!
He didn't know what to do.
It was a little overwhelming to consider, but Beater didn't let that stop him. The thing was, even though Kolt was boring, the Dragon Gang and their goals weren't. The idea of tearing down an institution just because they were doing things you didn't like was exciting. Beater didn't have much of an opinion on the Resources themselves, but he was intrigued by the idea of helping to topple the program anyway. He knew that there were supposed to be Resources around here. The spies the Dragon gang had indicated that there had been a group ordered to the labs, so they had to be around here somewhere if they hadn't already escaped.
Beater didn't really have a plan. He never did. He just stopped in one of the labs, found a fire escape map, and read it over until he found one of the security rooms.
He sprinted down the halls as the sounds of distant fighting and shouting reached him, making him vibrate with the need to put his fist through someone's face.
He panted as he reached a security room, and put his violent energy into slamming his shoulder through the door.
"YES!" Beater crowed as he proved to be solid enough to break down the door. "That's what I'm talking about!"
He scrambled into the seat in front of a wall of screens showing different parts of the buildings. He grabbed the mouse, reaching out for Kolt's knowledge of security systems to go through everything.
He saw scientists, screaming and terrified as they tried to escape through the lower levels, he saw Kolt dragging Gale back down through the halls to safety, and he saw the fights breaking out between the guards and the invading Dragon Gang/EVU forces.
He grinned at the violence, allowing himself to watch one idiot get pummeled from three different directions before he continued scrolling.
Finally, he found what he was looking for.
"There you are," he mumbled to himself as he watched a small, tight knit group make their way through the hall. They were being led by a dark skinned individual with the identification code 'W4#01' on his shoulder.
The leader looked back at the group, making sure they were all together trying to reach another exit.
Beater could already tell that the exit was blocked.
He got to his feet and ran again.
He laughed to himself at the joy of it. He had never felt so free. He could go do what he wanted. He could be what he wanted and Kolt wouldn't be able to tell him what to do. He could just be.
He turned a corner, slowing as he approached the group of Resources and realizing that he didn't really have a plan.
He frowned to himself before shaking his head. He would figure it out. After all, he was free. He didn't really need a plan. He could do whatever he wanted right now, and that meant he could throw himself into a situation and figure out what he wanted from it as he went.
The sounds of fighting got louder and louder ahead, and Beater crouched, making his way quietly along the wall. He made himself invisible as someone came around the corner, shouting back over their shoulder.
He kept moving, just watching.
He peeked around the corner to see the group of Resources fighting against the vigilantes that were holding the exit. Some of the Resources lay dead or injured on the ground.
"Retreat!" the leader called as he shot at the vigilantes, laying cover fire before he followed the rest of the Resources down the hall.
There was silence for a moment as the vigilantes watched, though they didn't give chase.
"I hate having to do that," one vigilante, a tall blonde man, said. "They weren't meant to be here."
"Brainwashed or not, they would have killed us," said a brunette woman with the longest hair Beater had ever seen. "Hopefully the Dragon Gang can capture the rest of them. They have the right experience for dealing with all of that."
The blonde nodded and sighed softly. "Alright. Let's grab these guys so we can get their bodies back to their families."
"Optimistic," the brunette said. "They're here because they don't have families."
The blonde nodded mournfully.
Beater watched as the group started to clean up the bodies, hauling them out the door to... somewhere. What did people do with dead bodies?
Beater started to get memories of funerals that Kolt had been to and shut them out. He had been asking rhetorically, he didn't actually care.
He scanned the bodies on the floor, as an idea came to him. These Resources would never be seen again. The vigilantes probably wouldn't announce their deaths and there would be no family members to question any that miraculously survived.
Beater grinned as he spotted one body in particular. It was a little shorter than he liked, but otherwise they had the same frame and a face that Beater wouldn't mind having for the rest of his life.
He concentrated, focusing on the face, on the size, on the shape, and he internalized it, imagining himself as that. If he was born in the same way that Heralines were, then surely he could affect the way that he looked with his own imagination and the strength of his own mind.
Lastly, he memorized the guy's identification tag just as the vigilantes came back for the body, and then Beater slunk away.
He made himself visible again after another hall and looked down at himself. He had the basic outfit that the man had been wearing, thought none of the weapons or gear. He was also a little bloodied and bruised, but Beater didn't feel the pain as he touched his face and his cropped hair. His finger lingered on his lip. There was a scar through it, but the man Beater had copied didn't have a scar there. He tried to change it, but it wouldn't budge.
"Oh irradiate it all, Kolt," Beater snapped. Kolt had a terrible scar through his lip there. It seemed that Beater wouldn't be able to get rid of every reminder of the man he had been created from.
He focused on making the scar look more like a wound so he wouldn't be questioned about a scar that hadn't been there before, then he unzipped and pulled the collar of the shirt away from his neck, stretching the high collar as far as it would go so he could look at his collar bone.
The tag 'W2#07' was marked on his collar now, just like it was supposed to be.
With a nod, Beater made sure he limped convincingly as he made his way down the hall toward the voices discussing their options around the corner.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Cedar was having a bad day. This assignment was supposed to be routine. It was Cedar's first time being in charge of a unit on a proper assignment, and she had expected it to be simple. It was supposed to be simple. The unit was being sent to help guard Harry and co Labs, but the very day that the unit got there, the labs were attacked. Cedar didn't know where anything was, she didn't know the layout of the labs, and she didn't even really know most of the members of her unit very well.
And now, they couldn't find a clear exit.
Cedar looked over her shoulder regretfully. The exit they had tried had been guarded by vigilantes, and that fight did not go her way. She lost her very first Resources, and she knew their losses would land squarely on her too masculine shoulders.
She looked at the rest of the unit, counting up who she still had and gauging how much more gear they had to their names.
It wasn't pretty.
This wasn't how this was supposed to go, but Cedar would be irradiated and left in the wastes of yesteryear if she was going to give up now.
"We're going to need a map of this place," Cedar said gruffly, dropping her voice to a rumble. She hated the feeling of it in her throat, but she knew it would get her more respect from the other Resources. "Split into groups of three and search the rooms and labs to find a better layout of the place. See if you can't find some way to get a signal out through the block to call back to base and inform them of our situation. If you see a hostile, try and disengage and warn the other teams in the area. Stay away from the exits until we have a better plan."
"Sir," W3#12 said sternly, "if we find any Harry and Co Labs workers, do we attempt to bring them with us?"
"No," Cedar said. "We can't be slowed down right now. We'll be lucky if we make it out of here alive."
W3#12 nodded and the unit started to sort themselves into groups of three when movement out of the corner of her eye made Cedar turn, gun pointed at the chest of a man in Resource clothing. He put his hands up lazily, looking over all of them, and she recognized him as one of the men that had fallen during the fight with the other Resources. He was from a different batch than her and one of the men she wasn't familiar with, but he seemed tough. His various wounds didn't seem to bother him much outside of a limp. His designation marked him as W2#07.
"Bastards took my weapons," the man said, sounding deeply annoyed.
Cedar hummed. "You can still walk, yes?"
"Yeah, I can walk," W2#07 said.
"Good. We're looking for a map that will give us a better layout of this place."
W2#07 nodded and took off down a nearby hall without waiting for a partner. It was a wonder he hadn't gotten himself killed yet if he always went off on his own so eagerly.
"Resource!"
He turned, head cocked.
"We're searching in teams of three."
"I'll move quieter with just myself," he replied, clearly unafraid of any disciplinary action this might cost him before he headed off down the hall again and turned a corner.
If it paid off, Cedar wouldn't turn him in. If he didn't come back, that would be simple consequences. She didn't expect to see him again.
She watched the groups each head off before she and her two closest friends, Nova and Toby, made their way down a hall where the lights were dimming, likely due to some damage to the power grid for the labs somewhere.
Nova stayed right on Cedar's heels while Toby guarded the back, all three silent in their tasks. Sometimes Cedar felt these two knew her better than she knew herself. The three of them had worked together to survive training. Toby had been there to help her when she first got there. Nova had taught Cedar how to hide away all of the parts of her that mattered so the instructors couldn't tear those parts of her down.
Neither of them really knew her, though. She couldn't trust anyone, not even them, with her secret, even when hearing them refer to her as 'sir' or 'him' felt like a betrayal of some kind.
They cleared hall after hall as it got darker and darker, and found nothing much. It seems they had wandered into the storage part of the facility as they only really found tables, chairs, cleaning supplies, extra lab coats, and science equipment that was either new or broken.
"We should turn back," Toby said softly. "I have a bad feeling."
Cedar had to agree. It felt like someone was watching them.
"Alright. We'll turn back."
She thought she saw something move in the corner of her eye as she turned, like a figure in a hoodie, but it was gone when she looked closer.
She and her friends were quick to head back the way they came, though she kept what she saw to herself.
Then, W2#07 came around the corner.
Cedar was shocked to see the man, having expected him to keel over and pass out somewhere or to be captured, but he looked even more energetic than before and seemed to have found a weapon somewhere.
"I think I know how we're getting out of here," W2#07 said.
"And how is that?" Toby asked.
W2#07 grinned and just gestured for them to follow.
The other Resources had gathered again and W2#07 said, "I already let this lot know. Some of the higher ups had hidden ways out that their lackeys wouldn’t know about. I think I found one."
"And how do you know the vigilantes haven't already plugged it up?"
W2#07 laughed, reaching into his pocket before tossing a twig with a few leaves clinging to the end to Cedar. "No one out there," he said with a grin, his mouth twisting slightly around the injury in his lip.
Cedar judged him for a moment, trying to get a feel for his character. He'd been quiet before, and didn't seem very interested in anything going on around him, but maybe he was just on an adrenaline high.
"Show us," Cedar said with a short nod.
W2#07 nodded, grinned, and turned.
They followed him through hall after endless hall. Mostly, he moved efficiently and expertly, but sometimes he moved like a careless Trainee.
Cedar didn't know what to make of him. She didn't think she really wanted him on her team. He was erratic and strange, and there was just something off putting about him.
She needed to find a way to get rid of him.
Soon, they were in an office and W2#07 wiggled a panel open, revealing a tunnel.
It was lined with light strips that did nothing to pierce the darkness beyond but showed the direction the tunnel went.
Cedar pulled out a flashlight, as did the other Resources. W2#07, on the other hand, went in without one, seemingly unbothered.
Cedar didn't realize she was holding her breath until the door on the other side opened and W2#07 was stepping out into the sun, holding the hatch open for everyone else. She could see the tree that W2#07 snapped the twig off of.
"Stay low," cedar said softly. "I don't doubt there are vigilantes and gang members nearby."
Everyone nodded, staying low and quiet as W2#07 crept forward, looking around a little.
"Do you have signal?" he asked, almost too eagerly. No one was ever that eager to return to base.
Cedar frowned and checked and shook her head. "We'll probably need to go out a few blocks."
"Easy enough," Nova said. "Lead the way."
Cedar nodded and did so, keeping a close eye on W2#07 as she went. He fell in with the group, looking preoccupied with some thought or another.
Cedar shook her head, focusing on getting them out of the area without being caught and calling home base. They only had to go out a block before the signals stopped being blocked and Cedar was inundated with a whole set of messages from Orin Matthews, their Resource Manager.
She called him quickly, and he picked up immediately.
"Where are you?"
"A block west of Harry and Co Labs," Cedar replied sharply. "The place was taken by the Dragon Gang and the EVU within an hour of us being there. We need a pickup."
Orin sighed deeply. "How many lost?"
Cedar did the fastest head count of her life, every moment that passed deepening the pit in her stomach. She was going to be disciplined for not knowing off the top of her head.
"We lost 6 Resources, sir."
"How many injured?"
"3- no, 4," she said, glancing at W2#07 again.
"Alright, W4#01," Orin said. "Stay out of sight. Pick up will be there for you in 15."
"Thank you, sir."
"When you get back, you will meet me in my office. Alone."
Cedar closed her eyes. She wanted to shower and shave her face to within an inch of its life. It looked like she would have more things to worry about before the end of the day, however.
"Yes, sir."
Orin hung up.
Pick up was there in 10. Everyone piled into the vans and Cedar sat between Toby and Nova, trying to keep her shoulders straight and back despite how she wanted to curl in on herself. It was moments like this that made life truly unbearable. She had done everything in her power to prove herself masculine to hide what she was, and now she was saddled with all of this responsibility. She wanted to be home. Well, not home. Her parents had kicked her out after finding out what she was, after all. But she wanted to be somewhere safe. Somewhere that she could start figuring out who she really was deep down. Somewhere she could take her little brother out to-
No, she couldn't think about Kam. That was a surefire way to lose any sense of control she had in this situation, and she could never be seen crying in front of the Resources she was supposed to be a leader to.
Ced- Leslie didn't want to be here.
She swallowed hard, looking at W2#07, who was staring out the window like he had never seen anything more interesting than the city skyline. Despite his injuries and his shaking hands, he looked like a man reborn.
Cedar couldn't trust him. She couldn't trust anyone.
Chapter 2
A.N. - EEEEEEE here it is!! It's good to finally get to posting this! Important information: If you read 'Undercover Operative' (second to last chapter) in Fallen, be aware that this chapter is no longer canon. It didn't fit the story, really, and also messed up the timeline so badly that it nearly broke everything. I have no clue why I wrote it, honestly. Anyway, this is going to be awesome! I love Cedar and Beater so much and I am so excited to write more about them interacting. They're going to have a pretty rough start to their friendship, and it has been a delight to think about and start writing.
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of actions. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Meanwhile, Cedar has been living in her own world of pain, trying to hide what she is as she survives in a program designed to destroy every part of her that matters.
TFW you have written almost 6K words in the next installment of your Crestlen story and you realized that you messed up the timeline so violently that everything you just wrote is invalid.
TFW you have written almost 6K words in the next installment of your Crestlen story and you realized that you messed up the timeline so violently that everything you just wrote is invalid.
Hello friends and compatriots. It might be another week before I post the first chapter of the new story because your girl randomly decided to move while not taking time off of work and also while dealing with plantar fasciitis. Things are going slowly and I am exhausted. I shall get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!
~ A story about a hallucination becoming a man and a man who can finally become a woman ~
Summary: Kolt is taking it easy, staying back, playing it safe. Watcher and Gambler might be satisfied with that, but Beater is a hallucination of action. Or perhaps a man. Thing have been changing since he left Kolt behind, and he is becoming more and more real by the day. So, what does a hallucination turned man do with his life? Infiltrating and taking down a corrupt institution practicing a modern form of slavery sounds like enough excitement to get him through the month. Just wait till he learns what real pain feels like.
Art Compilation (Will be added to as I draw more)
Our main characters, Beater on the left and Cedar on the right (before transition. Cannot wait to draw her after she's transitioned)
Please tell me if you would like to remain on the tag list. If you do not want to be tagged in this next story, do not interact. To get on the taglist COMMENT, SEND AN ASK, OR SAY SO IN A REBLOG!
Reblogs are super encouraged because I want to get this story to everyone who might want to read about
Very general content and warnings under the cut in case you care about spoiliers
Content: Living weapon whumpees, institutionalized modern slavery (with the joys of ripping that institution to pieces), self discovery, one of the main characters is trans but not in a safe place to transition (she will get to a safe place before the end I promise), ride or die besties.
A hurt/comfort comic I made to emotionally harm @eldest-daughter-syndrome
Ellie was captured and banged up and Nik came to rescue him and help him heal and recover and get a new prosthetic afterward. They are very gay, your honor.
Crestlen update since it is Sunday! So, I have been putting off writing more because I have been cleaning up my notes. I do eventually want to be able to write stories that happened at random points in the past, which means my notes need to be carefully dated and organized so I can see who exactly was around and active at certain times. As well as which groups and corporations had been created at that point in the timeline. My memory is truly atrocious due to my AuDHD, so I have to do a lot of extra work to make sure that I don't forget important things and accidentally create gaping plot holes. This means a lot of work that I don't really want to do, lol, so it's been slow going. But, I am getting very close to being done and dusted with this. I'm hoping to get back to writing week after this one and then we can see how the Dragon Gang handles this section of the Resource Program and what happens with Cedar and Beater.
Thank you to everyone who has read my stories and for those of you being patient while I get this finished up.
Summary: A vigilante finds out that a hero team is keeping a low level villain with shrinking abilities as their torture toy. He decides to try to find a way to get the villain out, even if he has to put himself in danger.
